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edit This makes no sense to me. What a stupid way of leaving someone a comment. But it's all good. I guess.
- Communicating by typing text onto a shared page is definitely a step backward from email. But it is all we've got, as typing onto shared pages is what we do. It goes easier if you open new topics at the bottom of the page, where we all look for such stuff. Welcome to the website! 01:12 18-Dec-12
- And thank you! --Sylvirfoxx (talk) 01:32, December 18, 2012 (UTC)
- And what does the semicolon do?
At the start of a sentence under WikiMedia, it mandates an "unnumbered head" such as this one. Otherwise, it enables boiler-room personnel in contact with a Pakistani customer support center to ask: "Is that the one with the tail?"01:15 18-Dec-12
Oh, "any more"; I see what you're asking; it's a fair question. You see; right there, the semicolon implies, better than a full stop, that there are two complete sentences but they're bound together. When I've written what I want to write, but I want to fine-tune the way the reader reads it, I find the semicolon a useful tool.01:34 18-Dec-12
- I occasionally find it useful, too... especially when attempting to communicate infinite sadness. ;_;--Sylvirfoxx (talk) 01:36, December 18, 2012 (UTC)
Well, that is all fine-and-good for those with dimples, but....01:38 18-Dec-12
I don't know Jack about Moffat, and I don't like the constraints of the Pee Review format (such as number grades), but I'll tell you what I think. The sense of humor is evident but the article clings to formulas for getting laughs, to its detriment. For example, your Intro should have one purpose: to hook the reader into continuing with the rest of the article. So spending half of it on a list, though its length is plenty ridiculous and scores you technical Funny Points, achieves the opposite result. Moreover, that Moffat is "hated, loved, and feared" is a catchy turn-of-phrase but it leaves me clueless as to what I am in for if I read on.
Section 1: I presume Gasblown is Glasgow. I realize I am in over my head in lack of knowledge of the background material, and yet cringe at the forced acronym GUST.
Section 3: Yes, I am skipping ahead, as I don't know enough of the background. But you are not giving me any hints--the melodrama is unhinged from the real facts--and the tortured phrasings are lost on me, though they might hit home with Scots.
Section 4: "Suddenly decided"? This is a cop-out. Pursuit of lucre, desire to profit from others' work: these are motives. Sudden decision is not. Be more inventive about how and why they came to agreement.
Section 5: The device of an overlong, struck-through, link (to an article you really don't need to link to) is a gimmick. I realize that the section is trying to tie together a theme (a career of continual mayhem) that wasn't made continual by the article.
Images: They are a good start; the article needs perhaps two more. These two seem like canned funny bits imported in their entirety, but what would be better is to bring in photos that aren't funny and make them funny with your captions. You need to type the second one at the start of the section and with a full stop at the end, to make it render correctly on everyone's screen. Hope this helps; it would be better if I had known the background, though some other readers from the US will probably be in the same fix unless you go halfway in the article.02:11 18-Dec-12
- I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and advise me on areas I can improve. (GUST really and truly was the arcronym of his group. I couldn't believe it.) I'll hunt around for some more suitable pictures (I was being paranoid about over doing that aspect), and work on the specified areas! Thanks!--Sylvirfoxx (talk) 19:20, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
On images and paranoia: our landlords at Wikia are presently conducting a purge of photos of bare genitals, but we have never had a problem filching photos from anywhere--even one that belongs to Moffat--and claiming immunity under the legal doctrine of Fair Use. Although it's my fault for not knowing about Moffat and GUST, you are the author, and a bad reviewer may be a good test case that points you to one audience you didn't reach. We sometimes say, "Wrong ≠ Funny" (unless it's funny, that is), so perhaps you should set out to write a biography that is not so much wrong as half-wrong, or just right enough to inform uninformed readers of the basis of your flights of fancy.20:04 19-Dec-12
- Paranoia regarding copyright is something I have an unhealthy lack of, and I was referring to unintentionally overpowering the article with images. I shall make it a point to be a little more half-wrong, and to be more interpretable to those fortunate enough to be free of Moffat's unhealthy influence. Despite Brit telly not being in your ballpark, your review has been quite helpful. --Sylvirfoxx (talk) 20:41, December 19, 2012 (UTC)