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You seem to have classified a joke that you might not have gotten, as vandalism. My "Italy is the dumbest fucking country in the history of civilization" is not vandalism. Perhaps you're confusing this page with Wikipedia. :)--I am Jesus Christ. Do as I say or I will send you to the flames of hell where you will suffer and cry and anguish in unimaginable ways until the end of time. Still, you have the free choice to do as I say and everything will be fine. Except if you fuck up, in which case you will righteously suffer the aforementioned atrocities.
Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news.
Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it?
Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming.
It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans.
Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time.
In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".
13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 18.104.22.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left)
21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE])
09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy)
04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?)
01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.)
17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.127.116.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.)
UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week:
"I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though.
For reviewing The Bunfight at the OK Corral - all really constructive stuff, which I will try and implement, along with a few more ideas I have. Please enjoy a cream tea with my thanks. Asahatter (annoy) 13:31, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
What is Uncyclopedia about? Does it have a topic? Or is it just random?--Vampyrum Spectrum08 13:40, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
Well, the [idea is to parody] topics/concepts. Obviously our work tends to be anything but random - however some articles do have a great deal of slapstick to them and can be out and out daft. We do always aim to be funny rather than just stupid. Of course the site is incredibly diverse and this allows for a great deal of creativity in whatever field of satire you choose to write within. The main object is just to have fun within the grounds that you don't bring any harm to the articles/Users or the site.--Sycamore(Talk) 13:53, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
Thanks and That
I, Orian57, hereby award you with this fancy crab-hat (modeled by this lovely 16 year old) as I deem you in some way exceptional, although don't take this personally, I'm not well.
It seems that while I was sleeping some random IP decided to blank my userpage, however seconds later Sir Sycamore came to the rescue and reverted the vandalism. Basically just thanks and that. Also don't think we've really spoken before, hi (and that). Have Fun!MuCal.BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards!14:48 25 June 2008
I believe I forgot to thank you for your Pee Review you gave my story. It was pretty dang good. Thanks. I'm trying to fix it up, but I'll be gone this weekend, and won't have a chance until Monday or Tuesday. Unfortunately someone already VFH'd it before I got a chance to fix it up. Oh well. Sorry I forgot to thank you. You've given me a few ideas on how to make it better. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 20:07, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
I'm glad I could be of some help with it, it's quite a strange article:)--Sycamore(Talk) 12:04, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Cabal (there is no cabal) itself. Cajek, the UnSignpost's co-founder, commented on the shortage of interesting stuff saying "...". Mostly this is a time of crisis for the UnSignpost which has been falling into a state of crisis for a while now. and we need you to help. All you have to do is send money to the UnSignpost offices. And please, refer freinds to do the same please! We need it more then you.
At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned.
In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days.
Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud?
"I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine.
Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys!
06:21, 22 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked .cx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Oh for fuck's sake)
05:30, 22 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Dunquin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (The Irishg defence forces are a bunch of wankers who were dominated by the brits who are even greater wankers. They eat potatos, drink guinness and fight imaginery wars)
03:42, 22 June 2008 Hindleyite (Talk | contribs) blocked 18.104.22.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. )
12:42, 21 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Page blanker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (I wonder if you realize just how easy your name makes it for me to permaban you...)
07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.)
08:48, 20 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Bl4nker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (LOL YOU BLANKED SOMETHING THAS SO FUNNIES. Now fuck off, eh?)
18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 with an expiry time of 1 week: (No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.)
14:59, June 25, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked KBD5196 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I hope this ban log gets featured in the UnSignpost. Also, you are a wanking blanker. Or a blanking wanker. Whichever.)
Gripe of the Week
MantiBot, Yes a bot, this bot has been going around causing terrorism to articles in the form of interlinking. Not only does he support terrorism, he also supports the de-opping of TheLedBalloon who has been known to hate every foreign country that's not America on the Planet. What's worse, he isn't even properly marked as a bot. FU Mantiwhore!
"Listen, here's the story: The other night I saw Jackass the Movie 2 and they extracted sperm from a horse so one of the dudes could drink it. It was that moment when I realized how little I know about nature, or rather, animals and their private parts. You see, it turns out horsies have big ol' peepees, and the first picture I expertly designed was actually close to the reality, and I needed to start from scratch on a new picture. The result of that is what you see on the right, the one with the bigger censored penis." -So So
Yup, I do like you Sycamore: you go about your stuff, do what you need to, and get on with the job of writing quality articles, doing good rewrites, and putting in some really decent reviews. For 25 of the latter, you get this:
Golden Urinal You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depthpee reviews. Thanks for the hard work. Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing - there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!
Good job dude, keep it up! --UU - natter21:38, Jun 30
Dude could you please switch the sig up a bit? Every time we vote on the same nom I get frazzled. --THINKER 07:47, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
I'm sorry i don't know what you mean, i've had a look at it, I can't myself see anything the matter - the very reason I changed to this one was becuse I thought it looked simple and inoffesive:(--Sycamore(Talk) 11:13, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
And the spiked Jaffa cakes? ~ 11:13, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
Oh yeah, my whoring to new users has hit an all time low--Sycamore(Talk) 11:15, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
How do Sycamore - I'm looking through UN:PIC for things I may be able to do, and I thought your request might be achievable with my limited software - but I'd just like to clarify. When you say "advert-themed picture", do you mean you'd like it to look like an advert for Walpurgis Night? And if so, have you any preference for any wording on it? Are you looking for it to have a frame around it, possibly the old edges cracked, olde-worldey look, or what? Happy to give it a try, just want to know as much of what you're after as I can before I start. --UU - natter12:30, Jul 9
Mhaille knocked together the one at the top, and it kind of feels pretty close to being complete. I'm not too sure what could go in there now - Walpurgis Night - if you have an idea though I'll get in in there;)--Sycamore(Talk) 12:35, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
Ah righty ho. I'll have a look through and see if anything springs to mind. Looks pretty good at first glance though. Guess I'll archive a few more requests then! --UU - natter12:43, Jul 9
Sorry there - oh check out Spang's user page its the funniest stuff i've seen in a while--Sycamore(Talk) 12:45, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste.
Free publicity in exchange for; 1) Shitty memes 2) Dragging up shitty memes ~ Euroipods
There's more you can do...
Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion"Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of respectedmember 188.8.131.52 "Hey look a donut". Amen. Our lines are open to your pledges 25/7.
This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM.
Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything)
19:56, 30 June 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a sloppy wet blowjob
19:42, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) changed group membership for Modusoperandi from (none) to sysop (I asked on IRC for a funny reason tto put here, and no-one could come up with one. Losers.)
22:39, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (Blanking articles will not compensate for your small penis))
(Block log); 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) (blocked 220.127.116.11 with an expiry time of 1 week: No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.)
(Huff log); 18:21 . . Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Hate Crew official fan club": Shock to the page/and you're to blame/baby, you give stubs/a bad name)
(Huff log); 20:12 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Cabal/Cabal9": content was: 'there is a cabal' (and the only contributor was located and executed by the cabal. There is no cabal)
(Block log); 22:30 . . Mhaille (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Revel4tion with an expiry time of infinite: and on the eight day he fucked off)
10:58, 8 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 18.104.22.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours (You partly piss me off. The rest of me is in love. I'm torn. Come back later. I hate you. I love you!)
Biopic of the Week
MrN9000 ~ One of the more "seasoned" users on Uncyc, at a sprightly 360 years old, MrN was bitten by a pair of radioactive Y-fronts in his youth, bestowing upon him the awesome power of pants. Fortunately for us here at Uncyc, he decided to use those powers for good, and he is now our reigning king of poop, featuredauthor and amateur tap dancer (hea, a man can have more than one hobby!)
<Codeine> here's a thought
<Codeine> If you download music, supposedly you're damaging the music industry
<Codeine> if you download childporn, you're *supporting* the childporn industry
<Codeine> I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS
<Ljlego> moral of the story:
<Ljlego> childporn is the way to go
<Run-DLL> thanks for the moral go-ahead
Crappy deleted Stub of the Week
"this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#" - From Blue chocolate
Reason to take a Wikibreak of the Week (Admin Special)
"You dream that you're being deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes." - Mordillo
If you look again you will see that the unfunny quotes, etc. are in fact gone (thank you). I only reverted the deletion of the funny stuff. As for the formatting, I won't defend it, but it isn't terrible either. If you are going to delete whole sections, you should really discuss it on the discussion page first, that's what it's there for. Professor Fate 17:24, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
Thanks for the helpful advice--Sycamore(Talk) 20:54, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
Hey Sycamore. Thanks for the pee! Sorry for not coming back to you earlier, was a bit busy. Anyways, I wanted to ask - you put some emphasis about the article being listy. Thing is, there's a very short three bulleted list in it. So what was the thing that irritated you about it? ~ 09:52, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
I think iritated would be too stong, i felt that the lists along with a lot of the formatting could do with some work - Its otherwise good stuff--Sycamore(Talk) 09:57, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
I agree with the formatting, but the thing is, there are no lists...there is just one three bullet section. Can you take a look again? ~ 10:00, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
I counted the the first section and the "So lets do quick checklist" section - I just didn't think they added much, although admittidly they are very short--Sycamore(Talk) 10:07, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace.
Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something.
This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it.
At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them.
VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running
The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites.
Heerenveen - Uncyclopedia's Tank. Doesn't sleep, eat, dream or pet fluffy animals. Does nothing, in fact, but patrol Special:Recentchanges, rolling over cyberbullying, shooting down crap, smoking out vandals and reverting their stuff, and other tank-like activities. What to expect: extreme diligence, and a bigger gun, apparently.
MrN9000 - Profiled in the Unsignpost only last week, MrN has still found time to become even more awesome than he was then, and mends, mentors and poopsmiths his way around the site with matchless dedication. What to expect: zero tolerance for anything pants.
Roman Dog Bird - Frankie is another tireless worker in the name of making crap stuff less crap, good stuff betterer, and shite stuff deleted. Wherever there is a thankless task to be done on the wiki, you shall find him. Which is a good job, because we have no intention of thanking him. What to expect: him to be ready from day one (hmm, that's a catchy slogan...)
Dr. Skullthumper - A true legend of Uncyclopedia: handsome, talented, possessed of unprecedented levels of awesome, and a genius towards whom this newspaper (that he co-founded) is not in the least bit biased. Oh no. And can he give the editorial staff their teddies back now, please? What to expect: benevolent dictatorship with an iron fist. In a good way.
RAHB - What comes to mind when you hear the name RAHB? Is it VFD? QVFD? QTVFD? RecentChanges? All those answers are correct and more when you get the new and improved RAHB this month! RAHB is an Uncyclopedia policy wonk with all the credentials of Al Gore, except for that Vice-President thing. What to expect: former audio superstar turned into a big, friendly admin. In a good way!
Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered.
17:49, 11 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (This is a penis, this is you)
18:29, 11 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (This ban is approved by the society of Chuck Norris followers. Chuck, for a better world )
23:37, 13 July 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Jimbo spends foundation money in russian prostitutes (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (IN them?)
08:31, 17 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (If there something I really detest is IPs with small penii trying to act like big honchos on a wiki web site. I'd like to meet you one day, Mr. IP, and send you over the IP hospital)
Biopic of the Week
Hyperbole ~ Hype is awesome! Hype has been on Uncyc for just a short time, and yet has already written some of the greatestarticlesevercomposed by human beings! Hype is easily the greatest author ever to have graced this humble wiki, and it is surely only a matter of time before he sails past Ljlego's record of 76 features with consummate ease. And despite not having either the Democrat or Republican nomination, Hype is also the surest bet in this year's Presidential elections! Is there anything this guy can't do? Apart from that thing with the rosary and the 3 Mexican children?
Comeback of the Week
Gerrycheevers ~ For the third or fourth time this year, Uncyc's comeback kid has again popped through his revolving catflap to grace us with his presence after a period of absence! The UnSignpost staff are accepting bets as to how long this comeback will last. Any takers?
Plea of the Week
Hey you! Yes you! You're reading this, so you must have some free time you don't know what to do with, so why not write an article for the UnSignpost! As you can tell from reading this very issue, actual writing talent is not required, just spout some gubbins about something that's happened on the wiki during the last week, and as long as it's not too likely to start drama, we'll probably stick it in! How can you refuse? Go on, be your friend?
Syc, sorry if you felt that comment on Mickey's article was out of order (it kinda was) but I'm going to do a large pee review style review for each article, so please don't think I'm going to go in and just pick an article I glanced at briefly. --SirDJ~Irreverent 10:20, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
The whole thread on the PLS page got a little silly - its important to realize what I'm getting at here is not so much that you had made up your mind prior to judgeing or that judges were actually in cahoots. What my point there was that the system in place leaves room for it to possibly occur very easlily and as Mordillo puts it leave a lot of room for "Drama". If I had actully thought you had indeed made a blatant arrangemt I would have taken it up with you, though I think that is not the case, as you have said. For me this is a side issuie to the one of judges taking part:)--Sycamore(Talk) 10:27, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
I feel cahoots are just as likely between a judge and a random user than between 2 judges, if not even more. But the "reading articles before the competition starts" is a problem which is unavoidable, sorry. --SirDJ~Irreverent 10:40, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
This week Uncyclopedians continued on their quixotic attempt to "count to a million." Started by Uncyclopedia Wiki-master and Chamber of Commerce Secretary Spang in early March of this year, the project seeks to eventually reach the number one million (1,000,000) through the ancient art of counting. Any person who is capable of taking a number, adding one to it, and expressing the result has been invited to join the massive undertaking, which has seen dozens of contributors come and go. As is always the case here at Uncyc, the project has spawned controversy, criticism, and a spin-off starring Tony Shalhoub as Olipro.
The forum is an unprecedented pool of knowledge. As each number is reached, it is discussed in-depth by several Uncyclopedians. Insights such as "114 That's my age + 100 lololol" and "616 fucks fucking fucker's shitty crap" are a testament to the intellecually stimulating conversation that occurs each day. Oftentimes, relevant images are posted; the variety of these pictures can be seen by looking here, here, here, and here. However, not everyone is so optimistic about the project.
Some have expressed concern that the entire thing has some kind of sinister purpose. When asked for a comment on the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoned project, TheLedBalloon said, "although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." Another anonymous user stated, "that forum is most surely not pants."Spang himself has expressed his desire to leave behind a legacy, but he has also left open the possibility that "the entire thing is just an urban myth, and doesn't really exist."
Regardless of its true meaning or intentions, Uncyclopedians continue to trudge on in their epic quest, reaching 0.075% of their goal this Monday. Editors come and go, the pace quickens and slackens, but someone is always there to figure out the next number in the sequence. At its current rate, the project will reach one million on August 19th, 2526. Until that glorious day, Uncyclopedians can only dream...
When asked about the reasons for his return, Gerry cited many things. Prominent among them were a desire to have humor play a larger role in his life once again, the thrill of writing articles, the subsequent crushing defeat after said articles have been hacked to pieces mercilessly, and his heterosexual man-crush on Mhaille. The one-time WotM nominee fell on hard times in mid-March, and went on sabbatical when his computer decided that it was not long for this world and took its own life. After that, Gerry resorted to breaking into libraries after-hours to cast VFH votes on city-owned, porn-riddled, abysmally slow dial-up computers. Luckily he landed a job in late May and has spent a majority of his time at said job slacking off and editing Uncyclopedia. Mr. Cheevers looks forward to getting back to what he is known for: mediocre writing, scathing Pee Reviews, and keeping Manforman locked up in the Uncyc dungeons. Several prominent Uncyclopedians share his optimism for a permanent return, including noted reviewing robot MrN9000, who stated that he was "willing to bet everything Cajek owns to that effect," and heavy zeppelin Don Leddy, who expressed his delight at seeing Gerry, exclaiming "gimme back my twenty dollars!"
23:16, 19 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (Wow! I was gonna go the rest of my life hating Metallica, but you've opened my eyes to their true greatness! You, sir, are an hero! An hero!)
23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend)
21:53, 22 July 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) huffed "Slappy's Angels" (VFD - I throw in anotherv invisible vote to put these at -4/-5 (YEAH I'M TOO LAZY TO EDIT))
Biopic of the Week
Sycamore ~ One of Uncyc's noteworthy Caledonian correspondents, Sycamore claims his prowess at writing stems from a hearty diet of haggis, neeps and tatties, washed down wi' a whisky, a can of Irn-Bru, and a gratuitous stereotype. He's managed to stay sober long enough to write quality articles on Battleship Potemkin, David Bowie and Tony Visconti, and doubtless celebrated in true Scottish fashion - with a couple of cans of Tennent's and a fight!
For an UnTune. Seriously, this one has been around for ages, and no-one seems to be able to sort it out. Any takers? A certain psychotic frog will doubtless shower any helpful soul with gratitude. Or a template. Or something.
Wow I have a biogrpahy, I must be famous--Sycamore(Talk) 16:58, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
Hi... I thought the message of this site was clear, this site is meant to be offensive, but in a non-personal, general way... that inspires humor... Some people find it okay to paint Jesus in any offensive way, but then, relgioin is sometimes (most of the times) the most dearest thing to lot of people, how can you ban me for clearing rage promoting things, Trust me, I have been very open minded, and I appreciate humor in all its forms, but that, what I am editing and removing, is not humor. I am from Pakistan, see the page on Pakistan, its damn offensive, but its fucking hillarious, cause its offensive in a general way...
Don't let this place get ruined by hatred and personal bias.... Its meant to be humoros, without hate.
I will keep removing the Holy pic from the topic Vagina...
Firstly please sign you posts, secondly this image is not hateful, any actual political/Religios agenda would send me running - this image has nothing to do with the issuies that in out lives we may be faced with or any religious doctrine. I hope you may find ways to contribute to make the site better rather than making some point about a silly image:)--Sycamore(Talk) 19:49, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
I was actually telling him to take a look at penis because we have a funny picture there too that is considered 'holy'. I thought I'd show him to get him used to whats on this website so he doesnt take the picture out later. --Allahgator 21:56, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
Thank you. And I am sorry for not posting with a signature, will take care in the future.
I think, with this site, (in a weird way but truly) more tolerance can be generated in people. You know, how people can learn to make fun in an acceptable humrous way. But if you put someone's ..say, someone's mothers picture on board and start picking on that one person, that would be hateful. For example, faith... the person who has a certain faith, anyone, I respect them all, but with Faith, you know certain things to be true, that is your utmost truth... God, Devotion ... prayers, everything becomes part of his life, now, you can only generate hatered if you start to argue on irrelevant and personal things. We have seen how much relgious exploitation has caused trouble to this world, now we don't need any religoius wars on this website, now do we?. There will always be religious people in this world, and as human beings, as we should learn to co-exist in peace, that should be our priority, and I am not saying that there should be no humor, but c'mon, there is a limit, why would any one just come and post stuff relating to one religion in the most hateful way. in the most personal way. Why would anyone do that but only for the reason of his own hatered. I don't find any humor in that one, even if I was an atheist, I would feel for that relgious person who will suffer the hurt due to some hateful material.
Please spread tollerance, not hatered. This is a wonderful site. I can ignore offensive things, but this much personal, like to my faith, it hurts.