User talk:Sycamore/Archive1

Welcome!

If you get lost, feel free to drop me a line at my talk page, ask them kids at the Dump, ask a sysop on their talk page or add the following incantation: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you in exchange for money and referring friends to do the same. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome, and good luck! You'll need it, kiddo.  ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF (@ 23:44 Feb 26)

Nice Addition

With the Scottish Sports page...maybe you could add Caber Tossing and Bareback Haggis Rodeo? :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Signing your posts

Hello, just a friendly reminder. Please sign your forum/talk page posts with four tildes (~~~~) from now on. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF (@ 14:31 Feb 20)

Not SysRq

Mordillo reverted your removal of the {{tilde}} template first time, wondering why you'd done it. I reverted the second removal 'cos it was done by an IP so it looked like vandalism. If you want rid of it, remove it while logged in and put a reason in your edit history so we know it's you and you have a reason. Then reverts should be conspicuous by their absence! The big red template o' doom is just meant to be a daft reminder, nowt else. Chill! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:51, Feb 21

) :)I'm gonna look at this as a lost in translation issuie, my hope is that we all may take the piss out of everything in future together? MMACKNIGHT 12:06, 23 February 2008

Good idea, let's grab a drink, get hammered and take the piss out of the English. That's always a good issue to laugh upon. ~ 12:10, 23 February 2008 (UTC)

Yeah....fekkin English! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

So long as no one makes any jokes about the Jews, now that could never be funny... :) MrN  Fork you! 12:37, Mar 7

Well, i'm kind of Try-Racism, I'll try any kind of racism once and see if I like it88.109.254.199 12:49, 7 March 2008 (UTC) (Sycamore, currantly out of action)

Who, me?

And thus i came and saw the "welcome Burnett" caldarium on your wonderful userpage and i cannot help my mind from its wanderings and it wonders, is this me? Am I Burnett? Do you welcome me? - burnett

Well i don't know if I 'welcome' people to my page; I do howver say hi, how I do this, I could not explain well, if you go into edit you will see. :) --Sycamore (Talk) 12:32, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Uma

This one any good for you?

-- sannse (talk) 00:04, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

So I wander over here because I'm thinking of doing an image for this, and want to check you still needed it, and what do I find? Do you want any more, or are you happy with that rather spiffy effort Sannse has provided for you? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:16, Apr 9

Let her go.

Hey, Punk!

You voted to get the UnScript featuring the most violent detective in the world to the front page to blow some heads clean off a few newbie shoulders. I'll keep this brief considering that I've been sitting on my ass for the last minute talking to you instead of carving holes into that punk Dexter.

So thanks for the vote.

~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

17/04/2008 @ 03:12

Whine

If you're going to keep some of my edits on your article, could you at least be kind enough to delete or change entire sentences, not just deleting bits. This just makes your article disjointed, which is the reson I dropped by in the first place.

Sorry to whine, but...nyahh!

Regards, Teddikins.

Firstly, sign your posts with 4 ~. Secondly the changes you made were not all that great, and i've kept in the edits that make sense rather than revert the lot. You also hacked sections out and added unrelated and poor items that do not relate well to Eisenstien or Postmodernism- Proofreading is not about hacking sections, but rather developing cohenrecy of current materirial. However I do thank you for your interest in my article.--Sycamore (Talk) 16:44, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

Pee Review & Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Write the Great American Novel

Welcome to Pee Review, Sycamore! Have fun and do your best! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 18:05, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks- i'll do my best:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:08, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

Hey Sycamore, sorry dude but, uh, your review wasn't the most helpful thing in the world...   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [14:04]>

MMM, I'll take another look, I did not see any thing that I thought was glaring bad or poor with the article:(--Sycamore (Talk) 14:08, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Well, take a look at YTTE's latest review. He goes section by section. I'm glad you liked it! It's just that, I don't know what to do with this article now that it's been reviewed. That's the only problem. You could set it back to being blank if you don't have the time? If you do that, there's no harm done. If you decide to review it, you need to go ALL OUT: review each section's humor score and so forth.   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [14:12]>

How did it go from a 43 to a 37, lol?   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [15:41]>

Yeah, i have not done a review of that length before-I tried to be more critical of the point I preveiously raised and hopefully pulled it apart enough for you to make the kind of in depth review you asked for. The ones Heerenveen had done on my articles, which I had nothing but prise for were a good deal shorter that YTTE's, I had just tried to follow the one Heerenveen had done for me. The ones I have done previously seemed to go down alright? I do however have difficulty in pleaseing the Pee master- I'll take a break from reviewing and read over the ones you other guys are doing and hopefully pick up a better standard on Pee Review. I still do like your article a lot and wish you the best with it; it does appear I have not been able to do as good a job with your review as I would have liked:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 16:29, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Wanna earn $20?

I sure could use a friend! No pressure of course, if you like it vote for it. If not, hey that's cool too. And if you ever need anything feel free to hit up my talk page. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:21, 25 Apr

I'll take a look:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:08, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

Cajek does declare

Good for you on your VFH, Sycamore! How does it feel?   Le Cejak • <Apr 27, 2008 [22:29]>

Strange, "we're not worthy" "we're not worthy". Suppose it's back to the the article writing as usual, i've got four on the burner at the moment:)--Sycamore (Talk) 22:34, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Cool! btw I will try and implement your review of Mordor Jalapenos, and thanks for reviewing my latest!   Le Cejak • <Apr 27, 2008 [22:39]>

Your latest is a very impressive article, it's my pleasure to review it--Sycamore (Talk) 22:40, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Hey, 'grats!

You know, it took me over a year to become a CUN. =/ Good job, kiddo! You've really come a long way. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 23:30 Apr 27

holy crap, SysRq, you're OOOOLD!   Le Cejak • <Apr 27, 2008 [23:37]>

Thanks Sysrq:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 23:42, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Congratulations Sycamore! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 23:50, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks Dandy--Sycamore (Talk) 23:56, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Dandy? lol, I like it. Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 00:09, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Just thought I'd drop in to add my congrats to the chorus. I know my vote didn't help, but I'm still very pleased to see a helpful, hard working and friendly user get some much-deserved recognition. You do some really good stuff around here man, keep it up! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:45, Apr 28

I thought I'd come over here, too, and I expected something like this to be honest. Great work, and as SysRq says, you've come an awful long way from when you were MMACKNIGHT, and you've done some great work. And I'm not the slightest bit jealous, nope. –—Hv (talk) 28/04 14:44

@ Cajek: First edits. Most people don't realize how long I've been here because of the fact that I ditched the old username a while ago. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 23:57 Apr 27

you're younger than I am! Psshh.   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [0:00]>

oooooh 2006... nevermind!   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [0:00]>

Year and a half, bitch. Course, I did take an extended hiatus in between. But I tend to keep that quiet. =/ ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 00:05 Apr 28

Thanks Under User, I was sorry to hear you did not like Visconti, thanks you for your support and encourgement though--Sycamore (Talk) 09:53, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks Heerenveen- i don't think I would have got the featue without your review, which was superb:)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:17, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Pee Review: Martin Scorsese

Thanks for reviewing my article. Some of it was very helpful. I am a bit confused about what you describe as "free writing". Could you elaborate a bit? Many of your complaints are about things that I kept from the old version, such as the template and the quote at the top (both of which can go as far as I care). I assumed the shrew was a reference to the final shot in The Departed, where he shows a rat in the window. I kept it because it made sense, but again, I don't care much if it stays or goes. I'm also not sure how the formatting can be improved. Could you elaborate more on what you meant? Again, thanks for taking time to review it. I didn't think anyone was going to. Notme 00:37, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

I'm terrbly sorry, I have dyslexia and the meaning can sometimes get a little lost, what I meant was is that yuur prose could be shortened and tided up, it looked a little long and this (I felt) detracted fomr the humour. Similalry the images did not seem well placed and could be fitted in better. I have not seen the Departed tet so the shrew did not make snese to me (My ignorance there). With the abopve delt with the formatting would look much better. I hope this clears things up:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:46, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

Ta

Tha - wait for it! - nkyou! UU wanted to express his thanks for your vote for that military thing he re-wrote. Unfortunately, he asked several members of this year's winning regiment to deliver those thanks, and as you can see, they're having trouble getting to you. So you'll have to make do with this brown template instead. Cheers!

Thanks for not holding the Visconti vote against me when you voted on this! ;-) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 19:49, Apr 28

• No way, your article deserved ot be featured:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:17, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

	Well, well, well. I never would have guessed that Sycamore was stupid enough to vote for this tripe! Goes to show you never can tell.
	Thanks for voting!

Thanks for your vote! -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:11, 30 Apr

Pee review of Why?:Shoot the albatross

Hey Sycamore - thanks for pee reviewing my article!

It doesn't seem to me that you realized the article was a parody of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner", which probably totally would change the way you look at it... I guess I should have made that more clear somehow, but I'm not sure how to do that without ruining the joke.

Anyway, I'll be making edits based on your review, soon! Thanks --Hyperbole 16:45, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

I had not read that one, and I'll be doing that- however I think that making that a clearer allusion would help, I often add the wikipedia article within my page on a related link section. Anyhoo I'll be off reading the poem now! Keep up the good work:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 19:53, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost Sunday Edition: May 11th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

May 11th, 2008 • Issue 2 • Scene XII

Wikia staff finally locates blockage in the Internet tubes: Spang's talkpage After endless days of searching itself, Wikia has discovered the source of all its problems. "It's not DPL," Wikia's local sexy janitor, who wished to remain anonymous, told reporters. "It's not those damn ParserFunctions either, or forums, or even Chuck Norris." When asked what the real cause of Wikia's distresses were, our source remained tight-lipped by stapling his mouth shut. Which was probably a bad idea, considering he ended up writhing in pain on the floor, bleeding all over the nice Wikia rugs. Thankfully, the UnSignpost has a trained doctor on its staff, who was sensible enough to call for medical help. After the sexy janitor was revived, he said "rar." When further questioned about the source of all Wikia's woes, he finally admitted it was Spang's talkpage. "Uncyclopedia user "Spang"'s refusal to archive his talkpage is slowly clogging up the arteries of the Internet," says a technical forum at Wikia. "The talkpage in question has already managed to crash all three of the computers in Australia." Upon being asked to archive his talkpage, Spang reportedly said, "No." When Uncyclopedia was asked to comment, the site had this to say: "FU SPANG". UnSignpost Releases First Issue May 8th, 2008: Uncyclopedia develops a new fungus... a newspapery one. "Through all the shockporn and Oscar Wilde references, we made it!" Founder Dr. Skullthumper said at a recent press conference. At the conference in Skullthumper's backyard, editor-in-chief Cajek, wearing a traditional light blue Mongolian Toga and screaming at birds, had more to add. "I would like to thank all the writers involved. Thank you, you gods of men. You captains of the human experience." Police are investigating the use of strong hallucinogenic drugs during the making of the first issue. So far, the investigation has reached the top of the Unsignpost empire, when detectives found Dr. Skullthumper forcing his staff to squirt automotive door-lock de-icer up their noses to "enhance the creative joo-joo." Local police then ordered the paper to rescind two award-winning articles from its May 8th release. Two of the most hardened criminals on the UnSignpost staff, Meatbone and Spider, are currently planning revenge. When asked if UnSignpost was, like the Daily Show, the Onion, or Uncyclopedia, popular enough to parody itself, Cajek said "No. Obviously not. We can't say we suck yet, or else people would be like 'yeah, they do suck!' We have to wait until people like us. Then, when they read us making fun of ourselves they'll be all like 'this paper ROX!'" In the meantime, the paper promises to not make fun of itself, and will stick to meta-parodying instead until "someone important says it's okay." Heavy metal music found to be beneficial when reverting vandals Ever find yourself stuck awake at three in the morning (EST), fighting a few vandals with no admins around? Studies show that your choice of music might influence how you revert. In a study involving Squiggle, RAHB, Cajek, Fnoodle, Dr. Skullthumper, and Starnestommy, in which they fought diligently for Uncyclopedia through the night, heavy metal music was found to be the best for the purpose of "ass-kicking". After sprinkling some magic over the statistics, they automatically became true. Cajek's Corner By Dr. Skullthumper Today, we're going to make a standard Uncyclopedia article, Cajek-style. You will need: Annoying text. Preferably some blinky things and <big> tags. A sense of humor. Something to complain about for a page or so. Now, we'll combine the elements together into something that might be called an "article". In reality, all you have to do is whine for a good few pages of text, then sprinkle the annoying elements - sparingly. Add headlines and split up paragraphs to disguise your rant as a well-formatted article, and you're done! Next week: Whoring your article Skull's Skullery By Cajek Hi kids! Today, we're going to travel with me, Dr. Skullthumper, through a normal day at Uncyc! 9:00am: Complain about Wikia. Post new topic in Village Dump about Wikia. Troll Special:Recentchanges. 10:42am: Troll talk pages. Post new topic in Village Dump about some random techie shit. Bother some guy. Revert some guy's edits. Get some guy banned. 10:44am: spend thirty minutes on IRC talking to an admin saying how that guy was my best friend, and I never meant to hurt him. 12:10pm: Vandalize some guy's userpage over and over again. 4:92pm: Forget what I was doing. Start over. 5:19pm: Enact wild scheme to make Uncyclopedia that much weirder. End day.

Check out these pages! Self-reference jokes alive and well! Get your Starnestommy sig space while supplies last halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp Game portal Kip the Dip unbanned From our logs: 02:49, May 7, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 213.233.101.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Fun fact #12341: Cyberbullies have a miniature penis) 11:03, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wigger" ‎ (You people make me hate my life.) 11:04, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Lee Jorde" ‎ (I mean, seriously. I have better things I could be doing than wading through cruft. But I do it anyway.) 11:06, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Handcuffs" ‎ (Book 'im Danno!) Biopic of the Week Drama ~ Considered the most controversial user on Uncyclopedia evah, Klaus Drama is going strong, getting on average 50 people banned per week. Having studied acting for 40 years and written his own Dadaist version of Hamlet (entitled "shitty noun"), Klaus has much experience making people nervous and uncomfortable. With his life-long boyfriend Jizz Rick (who demanded to be in the second issue of UnSignpost) Drama is conquering Uncyc one shouting match at a time. Reason to Leave Uncyc of the Week #53 Too many users leaving. Horoscope of the Week Scorpio ~ Expect gains and/or losses in business affairs this week. Oh, and tell that f**cker John that UnSignpost's registered horoscopologists told you he's the one stealing food from the employee fridge, and that if he doesn't stop, the writers of this horoscope will come to his house on Brickwood Lane and trash the damn place. Reason to Leave Alternate Universe Uncyc of the Week #97 Although the alien admins were nice at first, they're starting to lay eggs in our more important organs and eating our more favorite children. Sympathy Biopic of the Week Optimuschris ~ An American user born in mumble mumble, Optimuschris, author of HowTo:Become Stupid in 21 days, is an up-and-coming young Uncyc user, according to, like, lots of people. Whereas he was really friendly before, now, because he appeared in the UnSignpost, "OptyC" has gotten a huge ego, and refuses to "hang" with you. Feeding Trolls of the Week: "I actually made an account just to point out that you accuse ED for being "1000% Unfunny" for having a page for Chuck Norris when you have a link to your very own Chuck Norris page in the article. If you go through UC and just read a random article you probably aren't going to laugh no matter how hard the author tried (and failed, lulz). Encyclopedia Dramatica just wants to fill this goatse-challenging gap that you created with things that are actually funny, liek mudkipz. Plox 2 b nt hating us 4 bein funny kthxbai." - Uncyclopedia on its rival. Quote of the Week: "I feel like throwing myself into the goatse challenging gap we created. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" - Mordillo on the recent Goatse gap crisis

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 04:32, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 15th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

May 15st, 2008 • Issue 2 3

The Bible Finally Catches a Break For years... or whatever... Conservapedia has attacked Uncyc for being too liberal. Today, Uncyc publicly derobes itself, and reveals its patriotic side. From now on, "Uncyclopedia" will be renamed "Falwellapedia" in honor of the late pastor, Jerry Falwell who died May 15th, 2007. Unsignpost spoke with the founder, Modusoperandi, in his isolated forest bunker. "I hate how the liberals treat us!" Modus shouted, along with his two followers. "Don't they see that when they make fun of us, the lord rolls over in his soon-to-be-resurrected grave?" The conservative propagandabot Fbooble is scheduled to "purge the site of any left-wing statements" by the end of the week, soon after it gains self-awareness and joins the Republican party. "HUMANS, CLOSE YOUR NOISE HOLES AND PAY ATTENTION!" Fbooble proclaimed at a recent press conference. "THE DEMOCRATS AND ALL THOSE OTHER LIBERALS ARE NEARING THE END." Fbooble, whose titanium wristwatch glistened in the afternoon sun, held up a copy of the Falwell Children's Bible near the conclusion of the conference and said "ALL PRAISE JEBUS, AND HIS INVINCIBLE ARMY OF DISCIPLES!" Although Fbooble is unclear on the details of religion right now, it promises to become ultraconservative when it does. Not all Uncyc users are happy with the transition. Although we could not find anyone who actually called themselves a liberal, we did manage to vandalize a hybrid just to equal the score. Unsignpost promises a lucrative year via advertising revenue for the Republican National Committee and a weekly "Republican of the Week" section. Changes by Fbooble will include replacing all swear words, such as ****** and ***********, with the word "daffodil," and deleting all articles. Shockporn deemed unworthy will be replaced with this image, and quotes not from the bible will be deleted with extreme prejudice. All non-American users, such as that one guy are to be called "fags", also with extreme prejudice. HTBFANJS Most Linked Article How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, one of the hallmarks of Uncyclopedia, has reached the top of the heap. Mordillo, an administrator who will be the least offended when we attribute absolutely false quotes to him, recently said of the page "Finally! Although I've never read it, I hear it's full of fatherly, patronizing advice for those newbs that write those articles I'm constantly huffing!" Mhaille, who has the most linked-to userpage on Uncyc, was slightly more angry at the recent news. "I'm only in 10th place? What the f**k?" While spying on Mhaille from under his bed, the news staff heard language that no human being was ever supposed to hear. Thankfully, the staff was smashed on Listerine, and may have just made up the entire event. Mhaille commented that "No, they didn't make it up, and if they do it again they had better bring enough Listerine for everyone." The user responsible for the 36,000+ links to How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid wishes to remain anonymous, but said to our reporters through a wiretap "I just got too carried away. I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and that's no reason for threatening my family in this way! Oh jeez, I hope you get this message, Uncyclopedia. All right, I'm hanging up now, and I hope you're not angry. *BEEP*" UnSignpost Releases Second Issue May 15th, 2008: Uncyclopedia has developed an open wound... a newspaperish one. Riding high on their success, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek have "deployed their golden parachutes" and are "planning to pack up our shit" and "get the hell out of here." Wearing his trademark solid gold sweatpants, bought with the advertising from the first and second issues of Unsignpost, Dr. Skullthumper said "It was fun, I guess, but now it's time to move on. Like a wild hyena, Unsignpost has left its mark. There are no more stories to cover: no more people to attribute fake quotes to." Cajek, munching on a shish kabob of bald eagle babies, had nothing to add except maniacal laughter as he threw thousands of dollars into the air. Unsignpost, bankrupted by the two owner's antics, is planning to make the paper a paid subscription, unless something kooky happens, in which case it won't. In addition to subscriptions, Unsignpost is having a luau at Mike's house to raise money. "Oh, it'll be soooooo exciting!" Mike said. ...You know Mike. Anyway, Mike continued, "There'll be a silent auction, and a limbo contest, and a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey! Oh! So exciting!" With the proceeds, Unsignpost hopes to add a "Week Box of the Week of the Week" section and a mascot. Maybe a shark. Protein folding: The latest in computer entertainment The editors of the UnSignpost strongly encourage the community to sign up for Uncyclopedia's Folding@Home team. Started in 2005 by rcmurphy, Codeine, Flammable, Paulgb, gwax, Mhaille, Carlb, Naughtyned, DrakeGTA, and RadicalX, the signup page has since gathered more cobwebs than new users. By joining F@H, you will get a free program that uses any extra unused CPU power to perform complicated calculations in the background. "Well that's great," you say. "So I'm helping compute protein folding, a never-before-possible situation to model on computers, and thus helping cure some of the most misunderstood diseases to strike humankind as well as advancing the knowledge of the human race into parts of science that were up until recently perceived as impossible. So what's in it for ME?!" You, yes you, will get the excitement of watching proteins fold in your very own home! "Wow!" exclaims part-time F@H user Dr. Skullthumper, "did you just see that? Did you just SEE the way that blue thing collided into that gray thing? Oh man, it was amazing! And in super-slow motion, too!" Other users have given the program similar reviews, describing it as "utterly transfixing" and "better quality entertainment than mitosis!" You, too, can join in the fun and the frenzy of the world of those wacky proteins - while saving the world!

Check out these pages! MrN makes it Over 9000 René Descartes "That's disgusting! Where can I get a copy?" Spang tries to break Wikia again; fails, settles for MediaWiki instead Jar of dirt, possession thereof That Gray Thing on the Back of Your Screen The first ever WikiBand! From our logs: 22:23, May 9, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.71.223.144 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't add crap to pages(take that as literally as you want to, btw).) 07:26, May 11, 2008 One-eyed Jack (Talk | contribs) uploaded a new version of "Image:PASex.jpg" ‎ (Pineapple-shaped sexual aid. Stoled off the Internets for higher purposes. The end justifies the means, as Stalin said.)) (Huff log); 11:39 . . Spang (Talk | contribs) (hacked up "Blood": 102 revisions restored) Biopic of the Week Under user ~ By the great Lord Harry, pippings all! Numpty numpty numpty, loo fag wut? Tea time, London, England, Britain! Aluminium, football, dustbins up the dual carriageway, chaps with bad teeth, wot wot? I write long things wit' humoUr! In short, my good numpties: Don't f**k with England. ...even though I'm actually from Idaho. Crossword of the Week Across 5. Uncyclopedia is facing a _ _ _ _ _ _ challenging gap. 12. What happens if you mess with Unsignpost's writers. 14. Uncyclopedia is _ _ _ _ ing DOOMED. 19. Dr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is the one with the lame techie articles. That other guy is pretty cool, though. Well, the crossword thinks he's cool, anyway. Answers next week! ...maybe. Shape of the Week Octangle ~ After thousands of years of being the forgotten cousin of the triangle, and the bastard child of the rectangle and octagon, the Octangle has made a re-emergence. Appearing 20 (secret) times on the $100 bill, the Octangle is our... shape of the week! Doomsday of the Week Monday, around tea time: Uncyclopedia will suddenly shut down due to too many unfunny articles. Users will shake their heads in disgust, pity, anger, sadness, anger, defeat, pity and anger. The last article written will be Grand Theft Auto:Siberia Chuck Norris LOLLLOLOLOLLOO by User:SqueezeMeGently, and the last article featured will be Rough Gay Wolf Sex by User:TheAntiUncyc. User of the Week, not to be confused with Biopic of the Week: FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS ~ Although blocked infinitely, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS was a boon to the community. We at User of the Week don't see any actual contributions from FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS because they were blocked infinitely, just in and/or before their prime. Which begs the question: Who is the real monster here? Certainly not FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS. ...Go quietly into the night, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS, for we shall never forget ye. HanSolo's Weapon of the Week: ARCTIC WARFARE MAGNUM: It's a damn sniper rifle. No explanation needed. (not recommended for use on admins -ed) This Week In Uncyc, 1957 Week of May 15th, 1957: Recreated as a warning system for nuclear attacks, the megacomputer Uncyclopedia kept the Ruskies at bay. With its 5 megabyte database and kung fu grip, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with. This Week In Uncyc, 1765 Week of May 15th, 1765: The proud warship H.M.S. Uncyclopedia, christened earlier that week, began patrolling the Atlantic for Napolean's fleet. With a crew of 90, a Surface-to-Air missile battery on deck, and the world's first Lolcat, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:01, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Re.:Pee Review

Good job. Still new at this. Can you help? I cannot upload any pixes right now, due to copywrong regs. Thanks. 65.163.112.181 18:55, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

Damn glitch kept ME OUT. Had to kick the computer. *Computer kicks ME back!* Alien Hunter 18:59, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

I assume you mean pictures-I can upload some if you like, what kind of ones (Jupiter, Geroge Bush etc) would you like?:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 19:30, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

All of the above. Thanks Alien Hunter 19:40, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

Can you place them in the article as well? Alien Hunter 19:43, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

Sure, I'll bung a few in, when I put them in, go into edit so you can see how I format the code in for the size and captions etc;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 21:27, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

How do I get it to the UnNews desk? Can you handle that one? Alien Hunter 18:04, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

I've had a look, I think it could do with a little more work as per my review, Theres some tips here. When you've got it right I suggest asking one of the reguler UnNews contributers about getting it put forward as I know very little about this, I suggest asking Mordillo, he is very helpful and is a regular contibuiter to the news desk-he's often around as well so you should get a quick reply:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:22, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

I was going to do that when my ISP exploded, and I mean exploded ---- ASPLODED ---- all over the place. Alien Hunter 16:53, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Scotland

I'm sure the template I put in wasn't intended for stubs. I put it there with satirical intent because you never edit that page or change other people's edits to it. Munci 09:48, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

Well, thats nice... Without encourging your conversation, I suggest not putting it there or turning the Scotland page into a slurs against myself or doing the same to any other pages by any other writers. I wish you well with future edits;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:19, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

Sorry, I think I was being a bit nasty unnecessarily before. Munci 04:49, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

No Problemo:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:20, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Templates and code

Morning Sycamore - congrats on the feature, it's a really good article. Now, a quick word about that shiny template you put on my page: if you open a tag, you need to close it again at the end. In this case, the div and center tags need sorting, otherwise the code spills over and talk pages end up centre justified all the way from that point on. and not all of us are Javascap and like that sort of thing! Anyway, off to other stuff, toodles! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:15, May 19

UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6

Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me." When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that. "If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!" "First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1. The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments! Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories. The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!" Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!" Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback". Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Although searching through relics was fun for the Indiana-Jonesish stylings of more techie-minded Uncyclopedians, the Unsignpost has, all by itself!!, made a new discovery. Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.

Check out these pages! Spang is Gay! The Monkey Spankers Complete Collection In Another Wiki, Far Far Away From our logs: 07:04, May 16, 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 134.225.176.229 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Uh oh! Don't mess with Grant Whitaker Island! Or whatever it is you said! ) 19:28, March 18, 2007 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Come back when you have more tools in your bag) 12:37, May 17, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (NO U. Also, LOL coming back to blank after a one year ban) Biopic of the Week Example ~ The standard Uncyclopedia user, Example has never read HTBFANJS, has created hundreds of stupid forum topics that make no sense, and has bothered dozens of admins without being annoying enough to be banned. Although he/she/it has no opinions or original ideas, he/she/it has still managed to produce dozens of deleteable articles. Truly, Example is an example for us all... get it? GET IT?! Rorschach Inkblot Response of the Week: "HOW DARE YOU SHOW THAT TO ME!!" (slaps psychologist) "You're just like my two mothers: every Easter they do that to me... WHY???" Reason for Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week: 8. Not enough users leaving. Horrifying Disease of the Week: The Genital Migration Virus ~ Normally found only in the most remote regions of the Congo, GMV has now "migrated" to the general populous. It can be transferred only by physical or emotional contact. There is, as of yet, no "known" cure for GMV, because Unsignpost's writers are keeping the vaccine secret until the government... well, we've said too much. Retraction of the Week: We at Unsignpost are sorry. In our last issue we stated that "slavery was kewl" and that "the Yankees will never take it away from us." Apparently, we were wr- wro... wwwrrrrr- I can't say it!! Letter of the Week: This week's UnSignpost was brought to you by the letter "U". Because without it, we wouldn't be able to spell "UnSignpost", let alone the sexiest of all U words, "undulate". Reason for staying at Uncyclopedia of the Week: 73. Can't find the door, no thanks to {{welcome}}.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:17, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

UnNews:Oil found on Saturn's Moon: Titan

You still working on this thing? The {{WIP}} tag just expired, and it's in danger of huffage. You may want to put it in userspace, or something. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 17:14, May 25

The article is not mine but belongs to Alien Hunter - he wanted some help with it to get it going as per my review (images etc), I kept an eye on it but there's been little activity from this noob on his article.--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 17:19, 25 May 2008 (UTC)

I'll just put it in his userspace, then. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 17:31, May 25

Sure;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 17:48, 25 May 2008 (UTC)

CMC

Welcome Sycamore to the Glorious Cow Moo Cult!

You're in, you clearly fit these requirements and the Cows, obviously, smile upon you. You are currently a "Mud Grunt" by rank. Now the good bit: you can officially put this template wherever you want on your userpage or talk page and can add "Mgr." to the beginning of your signature, if you wish.

Promoting the CMC is always good, considering at the moment we're barely even tiny on Uncyclopedia. If you can refer users to sign up, consider yourself promoted. In time you'll move up the ranks anyway. Occasionally you'll have to put a little bit of work in here and there, but only a little bit... For the moment all you really need to do is watchlist this page. Your main task, however, is CONVERTING THE COWLESS. Have a quick read of this before you start and conversion processes. If you help swell the CMC ranks, it's likely you'll get a promotion!

I'm happy to answer any questions here. Oh and it's advised you read these (loose) rules. You are now one of the few with the Cows on your side.

Let the moo be with you!
Moo moo moo mo mooo moo!

Welcome aboard, Sycamore! - [14:20 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Thanks there, Cows rule--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 14:21, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

That's the spirit! - [14:23 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press. Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek Letters to the Editor I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us. I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.

Check out these pages! A Horrible Vision of the Future A Horrible Vision of a Puppet-Based Future Chinese Oscar Wilde and the Crappy Translation Somewhat Controversial Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia From our logs: 15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!) 23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA) 08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F) Biopic of the Week <insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}! UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!) Unsignpost Founder of the Week: ...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you. Animal of the Week: Stoat ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways. Template of the Week: The bad lyric generator ~ There's an insect in your ear, if you scratch it won't disappear - U2 Last Minute Box of the Week: First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking: Pole Dancer of the Week: Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:01, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Ze good, ze bad or ze Ugly?

Don't want a pee review yet, just an opinion on whether it is on the right track from a Lang fan. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:48, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

All i can say is that mabye keep the focus on the film more fully which is something you could lose in the travel theme. Maybe more direct referneces to the characters and the films plot through the broshure format-I think that it's going along nicely--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 14:25, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Yah. I was thinking of putting the plot section as the "lifestyle" bit, like adapting into the kind of advertising style language but keeping the general plot. The bits I'm working on now are more like "influence" as IMO much of the fame of Metropolis is built around its more it influence than the plot itself. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:49, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Also I don't know if you knew but... you can vote for junks hereif you feel like aimless voting --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:27, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

I had seen that-A lot of these things stray very close to cleakyness rather than merit, which is always something to avoid. Anyhoo, get back to Metropolis!;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:30, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

RE:PLS question

Rules actually bar users entering articles into the competition which have been started on prior to the competition's start. However, as an exception, I'll allow you to submit the article into the competition given you discontinue work on it until the start of the next competition, which is mid-July. Once the competition starts, all users will be able to submit their entries on the main PLS page, on which directions for submission will be provided. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 05:55, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Smashing Great superb--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:07, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Pic

How do Sycamore. I'm putting together a little page of pics of decent folks. Care to donate your likeness? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:31, Jun 3

Sure thing, I'm on it--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 11:36, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Nice one. Thanks! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:20, Jun 3

Y'know, you don't see many VFH thanks templates about these days, do you?

Don't care. I still use 'em. Here's one now:

*pop* Yeah, er, thanks for *pop* your vote for *pop* that... oh lord, her whole dress is made of... *popop* *pop*

Further thanks! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:00, Jun 4

Cool--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 16:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Famine's Sig

You mentioned in a forum post about you couldn't get Famine's sig to work for you, well I remember him having problems getting it to work himself, Spang was telling him how to do it on his talk page. Have a flick through his archives and look for bits about him Banning Kip The Dip, it was around there somewhere. (Bonner) (Talk) Jun 4, 18:10

Thanks there Bonner-;)Me gos to snoop around Spang's talk page archives--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:13, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

I meant on Famine's archives actually, or rather previous versions as he doesn't seem to keep archives :P (Bonner) (Talk) Jun 5, 06:47

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff] Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek by ThePaleOne It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided. Random Mumblings: "Monster" By Zombiebaron Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages! Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want. Voatse.cx User:Under user/SparkGallery The Uncyclopedia Genome Project From our logs: 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) 01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?) 06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!) 18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!) 19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!) 19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9000 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!) May "Of the Month" Award Winners Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE! Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim. Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his/her day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit! Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy! MrN9000's VFD vote/nomination of the week: Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:19, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Wake Up!

You tagged you were reviewing this almost 2 days ago. Either review it already or take the tag down so somebody else will! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 02:04, Jun 7

I had not forgotton your article, and I will always review withn 5 days--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:24, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Scottish User Userbox Template

I changed the size of your userbox template to fit in with the standard width of userboxes. Danr 20:00, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

No probs, I made it ages ago and is great to see some use of it;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:40, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

Ta for the review of my article, mate-very helpful. Oh, and don't let it give you the wrong impression of me; I'm not left-wing. I pride myself on being completely moderate. Thanks again. BlueYonder 10:02, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Cool-I tried to be very in depth-I think your well on your way to a feature with this one;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:05, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content I'M GOING TO UNPROTECT THE MAIN PAGE Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:56, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Review

Mantiwhore has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks for the review! I'll be sure to look over your suggestions a bit more and work on the thing after my exams have finished. Or maybe before that. Yeah, screw the guilt.

Love,

— Sir Manticore 09:56, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 11:56, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

I have Reviewed your article

Your article has been reviewed. Founding Member Baseball16 15:26, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

mmm...you might want to look at the work some of the other reviewers--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 16:11, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

r u saying i suck. that was my first review. DUHFounding Member Baseball16 16:33, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

OK-chill out;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 16:46, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

ok I am sorry for geting all angry and stuff. That was my first review. I reveiwed it like i think the article is.Founding Member Baseball16 17:03, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

That's alright-I found them difficult to do when I started up! for next time I would read this: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Guidelines-it makes it a peace of cake once you get going:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 17:34, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

OK but I will need some help so if you can help me out a little I would appreiate it. Founding Member Baseball16 17:49, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Well, a good way is often to look at the lies and deceit on Wikipedia, sort of learn the topic of parody and then assess whtthe the witer is doing that effectivly. the soncond thing to look for is length (in my opinion) is the article too long/short does ist waffle? Then look at other factors, does the prose work,are there spelling errors/gramitical msitakes. you miight refe th ewriter to the proof reading team to try and rectify this. Another thing is images, do they add to the topic or are they just a bit crap. Linkege any red ones, there should not be. Obviously a reviwer should go in depth as to how an article os afiling but also haow it is succeding, evne the best articles could have been done differnetly - you should bring up how you woud improve and fill out an article - or campare it to a simialr varient, perhaps the overall imapct has wained becase it refences an existing article, or revevent media parody? If you go though these you'll vbe well on your way to writng a great review. You could also read HTBFANJS as a guide for the genral rules ina n article. this kind of cricylacl assesmtn will improve your own article wring as well:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 09:58, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

On a related note, if you want a more in-depth review Sycamore, pop it back up and give me a shout, I'd be happy to take a look though if you like. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:09, Jun 16

Thanks, I'll bung it back in--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:10, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the peer review. A few comments:

- The article refers to the Sondheim musical, primarily - not the film. I do refer to the historical character but at this point most people would be more familiar with the fictional version. Kind of like how if you were to write an article on Macbeth, you *could* focus on the historical guy, but that's not the main association anymore. - I wasn't responsible for anything in the infobox. Someone else added it. I don't like it either, but this is still a wiki. - I suck at Photoshop so I'm kind of at a loss for images. These are from Wikipedia where I can verify that they're released under a free license of some sort. - Not sure which one Prettiestpretty did - are you referring to Sweeney Todd (musical)? Personally, I think that one's horrid... Cryst 18:41, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

My ignorence about the musical...sorry about that. Image copyrights can largely be ignored, however probaly give some indication where you got it from. Keeping the Wikipedia style is uncesery, have a look at the kind of stuff we feature to give an idea of formatting here look at the features: Uncyclopedia:Best of. This is the on by Prietistpretty: UnBooks: Mrs. Lovett's Best Loved Meat Pie Recipes - I felt personaly this would be the kind of thing to follow, however the musical element was not something I knew about and I'm just not familiar enough with it to suggest a more effective parody. The only other usful guide is this one which has loads of handy tips HTBFANJS. Hopfully the links I've put here will give a bit of inspiration. Good luck with your article!:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:05, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Irish

For your vote in favour of today's FA, please allow me to serve you a modest Irish breakfast:

Cheers. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 20:03, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

No probs--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:14, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

User:MrN9000/Whorehouse

Hea, cool. OK, I'm mostly posting this here to whore the link on your talk page. :-) MrN  Fork you! 12:12, Jun 19

Oh deary me, what have I let myself in for--Sycamore (Talk) 12:24, 19 June 2008 (UTC)