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Newspapers, Spam, and Other Crap

Contents 1 Rules 2 Active discussions 2.1 Thanks for Voting! 2.2 THX 2.3 Thanks for the vote 2.4 Thanks 2.5 Hi 2.6 why must my head be so bouncy?? 2.7 Happy Hanukkah 2.8 Merry Christmas 2.9 A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS! 2.10 Happy Holidays from all of us at SysRq Waste Disposal and Grinder Co. 2.11 Treat 2.12 Here's Your Christmas Tree 2.13 Fuck Your Beliefs 2.14 In gratitouille 2.15 In grongitude 2.16 Douche 2.17 Thanks! 2.18 More Spam! 2.19 It's another template! 2.20 Thanks! 2.21 Thanks! 2.22 Thanks <insert name here> for promoting homelessness 2.23 Statutory rape Pee Reviewed 2.24 Thanks a lot!

[edit] Rules

• 1. Please leave all new comments at the bottom.
• 2. Please sign all comments so that I know who you are and when you made the comment.
• 3. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask me or ask in the help forum or the Village Dump.
• 4. Don't ask me to do administrative things. I am not an admin, but I can talk to some admins on IRC and have channel op permissions there. If you need an admin, either ask there or send a talk page message to someone on this page.
  • "Administrative things" include deleting and restoring pages, banning and unbanning people, protecting and unprotecting pages, and editing protected pages.
• 5. If you would prefer to talk in real-time, I am almost always on IRC as lstarnes or sheep.
• 6. Flaming is NOT tolerated on this page! Any and all flaming will be removed from this page.
• 7. Avoid NSFW material, please.
• 8. The above rules don't apply to admins, although this rule and all rules below do.
• 9. If you ask me to vote on a VFH article, I will vote on it, but it'll either be a "for" vote if I like it enough, or an "against" if I dislike it, I dislike you, or you used a very rude method of informing me about it.
• 10. If you plan to post a shocklink here, please put it here or here instead.
• 11. Please send all spam (e.g. newspapers, random awards, viagra offers, bills, legal notices, cease and desist letters, etc.) to the mailbox.

--Sir Starnestommy (Talk • Contribs • CUN)

[edit] Active discussions

[edit] Thanks for Voting!

-- Hanyouman 15:24, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

[edit] THX

	Necropaxx loves Hippies and you do too.
	PS: No physical contact, please, the smell will rub off. Thanks for voting on Hippies on VFH.

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} 20:40, Jul 8

[edit] Thanks for the vote

Thanks for the vote David Bowie One magic movement from Kether to Malkuth

Thanks again for voting on one of my articles;)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:00, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

Rory would like to thank you for voting! "That was a smart move, kid" he says implying that anything else would not be smart and may wind you up underneath a particularly heavy doll's house. Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for on this!

SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:32 31 August 2008

[edit] Hi

Is this where I come to get adopted? If so, adopt me, I'm a noob (not a n00b, just a noob). --—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Nepenthesmountain (talk • contribs)

[edit] why must my head be so bouncy??

O hai! u hellp me jes? 'dopt me 'dopt me? if not, my foot vs. your ass, weekdays @9, only on the _____ channel. --Yrhedasplode.egg 23:46, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

I'm sorry but I just don't have enough time or energy to devote to Uncyclopedia anymore. There are a few other active adopters around. --Sir Starnestommy (Talk • Contribs • CUN) 17:49, Oct. 31, 2008

I think there are other more disturbing issues to be tackled in that guys posting--Sycamore (Talk) 17:50, 31 October 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Happy Hanukkah

[edit] Merry Christmas

Bonner would like to wish you a Merry Christgame And a happy New Game P.S, You just lost the game (Bonner) (Talk) (Take A Look At Nexus War)

[edit] A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

	Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
	It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:20, Dec 21

[edit] Happy Holidays from all of us at SysRq Waste Disposal and Grinder Co.

Happy Giftmas. ~Sissie

sirsysrq @ 23:46 Dec 21

[edit] Treat

Kip the Dip has given you a holiday candy cane! o_O

[edit] Here's Your Christmas Tree

--—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Sawblade5 (talk • contribs) 09:11, 25 December 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Fuck Your Beliefs

Santa is watching you shower, <insert name here>

[edit] In gratitouille

 In gratitude for your vote  

The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"   Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process. So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate the next time I hit myself on the head with a heavy object to you. Thank you. The following heavy objects are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to use in dedicating my head-bashing to your user name. Ball-Peen Hammer Four-Post Bed Golden Happy Buddha Mickey Rourke

[edit] In grongitude

 In gratitude for your vote  

  The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"  

Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process.

So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate my next coma to you. Thank you.

The following coma causes are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to dedicate to your user name.

Overdose Car crash Beating Obscure, easily misdiagnosed illness

[edit] Douche

Hey, you. I have a huge penis. Hey, I guess you want to thank me for allowing you to read something by me. Unfortunately for you, I am currently having sex with your girlfriend. She says, "Hi <insert name here>!" Did I mention how she loves my cock. By the way, my penis is huge. Good bye, peasant! And I've got a huge cock.

--Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 00:17, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks!

[edit] More Spam!

[edit] It's another template!

Greetings From Four Corners!! Thanks for sending us a copy of A Guide to the American Roadside Attraction. Look at us! We're in four states simultaneously! We're headed to Waco, Texas next and we'll be visiting The Branch Davidian Compound Site and The Dr Pepper Museum. I hear they used to call Dr Pepper "Waco" because you could only find the stuff within the city limits. They say it was originally sold in a drug store as a brain tonic! We'll send you another postcard when we get to Mammy's Cupboard for some biscuits and gravy!

Thanks for the gumball Stormy!--    15:23, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks!

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:09, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks!

Avast! We at The Pirate Bay thank you for your support of our operations! If ever you find yourself in Sweden, drop by the Bay and enjoy our hospitality.

--Andorin Kato 07:28, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks <insert name here> for promoting homelessness

Because you voted for the article featured 1 Dec. 2009, many, many more people will now know HowTo:Be Homeless in America. Look for them coming to your house to thank you!

    Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  19:36, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Statutory rape Pee Reviewed

I Pee Reviewed Statutory rape based on version 4140026 of 23:05, October 4, 2009. I hope this helps!     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  22:39, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks a lot!

You voted to make H1N1 a front-page story! Exposing millions to fear and spreading paranoia! And now the story has mutated! Misinformation everywhere! ...thanks a lot!!!

Sir Roger 00:38, December 7, 2009 (UTC)