User talk:Splaka/Archive3

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I've blocked the User: range temporarily to stop a ridiclous flow of Robert Morris spam (though I may remove it because it seems to have spread to other blocks entirely) which is 65000 or so IPs. Keitei told me to! We need to do something, this has been going on for awhile now. --Sir Volte KUN Talk (+S NS CM Bur. VFP VFH) 15:01, 3 February 2006 (UTC)

Actually this seems to have curbed it (for now). --Sir Volte KUN Talk (+S NS CM Bur. VFP VFH) 15:15, 3 February 2006 (UTC)

List of phrases

  • Splaka,
I just noticed List of phrases was just deleted recently. Would it be possible to convert it into one of the Worst 100 series or do you think that's been fairly overdone already ? Also I've found when I sign on my User name now, I'm often blocked from editing (which I often find on Wikipedia as well). I thought that wasn't an issue since I've created an account or is that due to the dynamic IP ? Anyway hope you had a Merry Christmas. :) MadMax 17:37, 13 Jan 2006 (UTC)
  • By the way, there doesn't seem to be any entries in the Special pages (Orphans, Deadends, Uncategorized, etc.). Is there a system problem or did someone finally get there ahead of me ? ;-)

Ok, I've restored it and moved it to User:MadMax/Sandbox for you to fiddle with. Signing on when blocked is still blocked, but we can identify you and unblock you this way (if possible). I've unblocked aol again. Cheers. P.S.: Yes, the server is running in miser mode. Those can't be live anymore (*sniffle*), but the wikicities admin are working on a way to make them updated daily or hourly or something. Meh! Although we should get Special:Shortpages back live. --Splaka 00:02, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)

  • Thanks Splaka. I'll see what I can do with the list. If your having trouble with AOL, I can always wait until using a library computer. MadMax 23:43, 17 Jan 2006 (UTC)


Please kill someone. --Suresh 00:22, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Hang on, seems to be a DB problem. --Splaka 00:27, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)

DB? Dung Beetle? Or Data Base? --Suresh 00:29, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Fixed. --Splaka 00:42, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)


I just totally new that. It is soo like you - you just don't get it, duh --Suresh 01:14, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Duh? Duh!? Those in mental institutions should throw duhs around. What you don't get is the minimum standard of quality we strive for around here. That "article" has no formatting and almost no links. It reads like a livejournal post. Go pick on another admin for a while. Geez. --Splaka 01:17, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Well that was the intension - so at least it infringed.:) --Suresh 01:28, 14 Jan 2006 (UTC)

American culture

you fucking lifeless admins don't seem to get it. that's okay, delete the damn page. Agree to it that American culture actually exists. But you should at least talk to a few people before making these senseless decisions, you right-wing fat fuck.

I'm now expect some smart-ass comments which will be in an attempt to make you sound smart. C'mon man, show us the culture! You guys should be so proud. Jarkis 02:27, 15 Jan 2006 (UTC)

You need to calm down. I suggest you read BGBU to gain a greater understanding of how this site works rather than rashly shoot your mouth off at an admin... "you fat fuck." --ShroomsShroom!Gay2Sir Flammable KUN Prince%21.gif (Na Naaaaa...)Gay2Shroom!Shroomirror 02:32, 15 Jan 2006 (UTC)
  1. You don't get it, we require new articles to have a minimum level of quality and humor, yours does not meet that.
  2. NRV tagging is actually giving the article a chance. We delete most new submissions because they are, literally, one line of crap. Take the NRV as a compliment you lifeless poster-of-semi-crap, and work on your article to make it worthy of Uncyclopedia.
  3. Grow a brain, NRV is not a political commentary tag, it is a quality (that is, lack of) commentary tag. You are allowed to make fun of any notable thing (or lack of a thing) you want, but making brash assumptions about us just makes you the idiot. The 'lifeless' admin here include many Canadian and British citizens. They hate Americans as much as you, but you're probably too stupid to realize that. Or indeed, even look at one single other page besides the one you created and think of as comedy gold (hah).
  4. Don't insult us, kthxbie.

--Splaka 02:43, 15 Jan 2006 (UTC)

I looked at this article and it just looks like a lower-quality version of the fake error 404 page. The "(whatever) cannot be found Internet error? That's been done to death. You may want to rewrite it to say something other than just "...not found". After all, American culture (although it is foreign to me) does exist - it's used in Wisconsin in the manufacture of cheese. :) --Carlb 03:14, 15 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Paris, Texas

Oh wise and powerful admin, I hearby appeal to you to reconsider the imminent nuking of Paris, Texas. I believed you tagged it before the associated article was finished, and I have reworded it to make the attempted "joke" more obvious. Grovel grovel, -- Droopy 16:00, 15 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Ok. If it is still under construction use {{construction}} (I inserted it for you). Using a stub tag is indicitive of "I am too lazy to finish this, someone else do it", which is ripe for NRV tagging ^_^. --Splaka 03:17, 16 Jan 2006 (UTC)


Splarka....why you no play on IRC anymore. IRC without Splarka is like a day without Boobies. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Boobies are over-rated anyhow! --Splaka 01:06, 18 Jan 2006 (UTC)
May you sleep for ever in HER immortal Cleavage..... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

MediaWiki 1.5-age

Hiya Splarka. how's it going? I have a question for you concerning the update. Well, it's not really about the update itself, but about its capabilities. I'm sure you'll remember the screw-up I managed last year with the if-template and stuff like that. Well, I was wondering: is there anyway I can test the if (and maybe even the equal) template on the new wiki-software without causing anybody major stress or dismay? I won't touch the VoteReminder template, but it would be nice to know if those things work now.

Thanks. --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NotM|+S 07:32, 18 January 2006 (UTC)

I'm bored <3

Dear Splaka,

You are a slutwhore and I hate you. Please stop sucking at life.



I love you too. --Splaka 07:10, 23 January 2006 (UTC)


  • What do you mean non-notable? I was editing it as you deleted it, then I saved it, and there was only the recent text. I don't get why there's not an article about Levin allowed on here;
    • 1. It's in jest
    • 2. The bastard needs some humour in life :-(
    • 3. He's way too serious. --Kashzone 06:52, 23 January 2006 (UTC)

Three things:

  1. He is non-notable. This issue was discussed on Wikipedia at Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Rob_Levin. We usually match Wikipedia criteria for notability, since we are a parody of them. Having articles about non-notable people is basically slandanity, which we and they don't appreciate. Livejournal is a better place for that ^_^.
  2. The title wasn't even the proper location, but fixing this wouldn't have saved it, just prevented insta-insta-deletion.
  3. "It is in jest" and "he is way too serious" and "he needs to lighten up" are no excuses for writing trash about someone non-notable.

Given the above, it matched our guidelines for insta-deletion put down in stone by our overly uptight policy on vanity/slander/slandanity/non notability. --Splaka 07:03, 23 January 2006 (UTC)

  • What do you mean non-notable? Everyone knows me. I'm more popular than Moses. I don't get why my vanity article isn't allowed here.
    • 1. The part about my kid being retarded was really funny. Erm, maybe not.
    • 2. Kashzone has been beatified for his role in adding much appreciated humor into my life. I understand he's being considered for sainthood. ;)
    • 3. I'm way too serious about needing to have an article in Unicyclopedia.
    • 4. Wait, this isn't about unicycles?

I think 1996: is ready for primetime

Have a looksee. Can it be a reskin? - Nonymous 03:43, 28 January 2006 (UTC)

Oh god my eyes! What did you do to my eyes! Arrr! I'll consult the skinners. --Splaka 03:49, 28 January 2006 (UTC)


Expanded. Anything else you want me to add? Or is it long enough?

PS: Why does Uncyc love to delete more often than Wikipedia?

PS2: Do you use Wikipedia? (I forgot to ask this: -->) What is your screenname on that site? Are you also an admin there? --Chomu 05:16, 30 January 2006 (UTC)

I'll remove the nrv, but someone else may add it.
Because we get so much junk in a day, 2/3 to 3/4 isn't even worth putting on the VFD. Seriously. People assume satire = nonesense/cruft.
Yes, no. --Splaka 05:19, 30 January 2006 (UTC)

Kakun's family

I expect you to apologize for calling my family whores and also to unban me. It's your fault I said what I said. I thought it was Dawg who made that comment. User:Kakun/sig 07:44, 30 January 2006 (UTC)

Robert Morris (talk)

Hey, sorry 'bout that. I noticed you deleted the talk page as I was editing it. I guess I accidentally re-created it. Again, sorry to put you through the trouble again.

--CrownHis Royal Majesty, Simulacrum Caputosis the GreatCrown 07:26, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

No prob, I'll leave the talk page there for now. You can remove the vfd if you want, or leave it incase it comes back. Rar! --Splaka 07:33, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

Shitte and Shiriuchi

Both of them are actually real places ... and the translation of the names is almost correct. 10:42, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

Ok, I had no concern about them being made up. But one line articles are usually deleted after a week. You are welcome to expand them! Pretty please? ^_^ --Splaka 10:44, 2 February 2006 (UTC) PS Alternately you can put them in Undictionary.
There is absolutely nothing funny in either of the cities other than the name : ). Maybe I should make an article for Cities in Japan with the character for butt in the name, some with names resembling the word shit intead. 10:47, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

I finally got to be a hero!

Finally, I got to be the one to see a vandalization of an admin's page, revert it, and ban the luser responsible. w00t! I may have been a bit soft on the culprit with just a 2 week ban, but the IP addies belongs to a school, so anything longer for just the one IP would have been pretty pointless. If Pascack Valley High School, New Jersey (home of the Indians and possibly other oppressed indiginous peoples) decides to make Uncyclopedia their new vandalistic home, we can always put the kibosh on the whole /24. [insert authentic Native American war whoop here] -- Sir BobBobBob ! S ? [rox!|sux!] Prince%21.gif 15:47, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

EDIT: we all have the same ip here at this school, its annoying...1 guy vandalizes a wiki, we all get banned -.-

Add "", not moving "zh:" to "babel:zh/", pls!

Add "", not moving "zh:" to "babel:zh/", pls!

All languages are moving to Babel: namespace. We cannot currently add subdomains to See User_talk:Ryoske#New_Wiki if you want your own uncyclopedia spinoff. --Splaka 22:39, 3 February 2006 (UTC)


help me out. as I'm sure you have noticed, I haven't been on this pedia much at all, and even less lately. what's the deal? what kind of things are allowed? schwp schwokka, aka: Poopface Steinbrenner 04:08, 4 February 2006 (UTC)

Well, calling an admin (Volte) gay for removing a useless category from your page is frowned upon ^_^. Volte has been cleaning up Special:Categories of ones that have very few pages in them or no redeeming quality. I've fixed your talk page to appear to be in that category now. Enjoy --Splaka 04:12, 4 February 2006 (UTC)
what are you doing to my frikkin talk page , yo??
Sorry, felt ever so slightly guilty about reverting you, so I just added the category back as a fake category box. Enjoy. --Splaka 04:12, 4 February 2006 (UTC)


ok, it doesn't have to be wiki'd but "I am shitting"? what the lmnof is wrong w/ that? ThoughtControl Ghost written confessions 07:34, 4 February 2006 (UTC)
Well, you put it in as a wikilink, and volte deleted the page it linked to. Also, it was just a stupid link. HTBFANJS. --Splaka 07:40, 4 February 2006 (UTC)
k, well I found it, anyway, so it's all butter so my bad so yay I'm still human. good. that was close one. I thought I was like a furry troll from willow. whew! ThoughtControl Ghost written confessions 07:50, 4 February 2006 (UTC)


Why does my article have no redeeming value? There are other pages so short with just terms. You hate mine. Why? --PinkyToe 08:07, 4 February 2006 (UTC)

I am not even going to justify that with a response. Go look at some other gems on Category:Worthless_Articles. --Splaka 08:11, 4 February 2006 (UTC)

What about euoripods? That is like this but you don't no reedeeming value it. Mine even has a picture and euroipods didn't. --PinkyToe 08:21, 4 February 2006 (UTC)

NRV is a second chance. Be grateful. --KATIE!! 08:25, 4 February 2006 (UTC)
Splarka had nothing to do with Euroipods. I exceeded the boundaries of both admin authority and good taste by featuring Euroipods, and since then it's gained a legacy far exceeding that which muck will ever have. --—rc (t) 08:27, 4 February 2006 (UTC)
Might this not be undictionary-worthy? When I was a small n00b I wrote an article that was even shorter and Splaka MTU'd it. Dawg.gif » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 08:53, 4 February 2006 (UTC)

Using Undictionary as a dumping ground for every small substub that wasn't quite bad enough to be killed off in Uncyclopedia:QuickVFD was initially my fault, and likely one of the more stupid moves I've made here. Undictionary is now about 40-50% utter rubbish and hundreds of these entries will need to be deleted, eventually, one by one by one. Sorry. :( --Carlb 03:50, 5 February 2006 (UTC)

I award you


  • Feel free to delete my stubs as I'm just venting, mostly. However, Urban Dictionary does suck and the world must know. Danny Lilithborne 10:13, 5 February 2006 (UTC)
It does suck, please expand the article! expose the suckitude. --Splaka 10:16, 5 February 2006 (UTC)

NRV Tagging

Can you delete NRV Tagging at page Propagandalaw. I make it into finished. ----DudeMan 12:42:20 (UTC)

I've removed it for you, but the page needs somebody to go through and fix the English. --Sir Volte KUN Talk (+S NS CM Bur. VFP VFH) 13:27, 5 February 2006 (UTC)

Whopper 1

Ime sorry... 18:39, 8 February 2006 (UTC)

Holy crap...

So I just looked at recentchanges and see about a thousand Talk pages getting restored by you. Did some admin go delete-crazy or something? What the crap happened? --[[User:Nintendorulez|Nintendorulez | talk]] 22:46, 8 February 2006 (UTC)

Nin, sore subject. Let it be. (Admin fight!) --KATIE!! 22:53, 8 February 2006 (UTC)

Reality Check

Hey, I started a page making fun of this anti-smoking group Reality Check NY, and someone from the group keeps editing it to put their mission statement there. I'm new to the Uncyclopedia, does that count as vandalism here? Secondwhiteline 03:39, 11 February 2006 (UTC)

Apology and hopefully a new beginning

Dear Splaka- I'm going to try the waters again and once more want to extend my apologies for being a total nut case before my self imposed exhile. I've dealt with my mania, reread the error of my ways, done charity work for the poor and danced at my stepdaughter's wedding with her husband's grabby-grabby father. I promise to be good. I hope you will consider my apology and see sincerity in it. Prettiestpretty 01:57, 12 February 2006 (UTC)

Ask codeine, I am just his sockpuppet ^_^.
But seriously, all is forgiven, mostly because I have a short memory. Welcome back. --Splaka 03:03, 12 February 2006 (UTC)

More CSS magic

Please add this to Babel:Gbs.css to better spoof Wookieepedia (margin-right is there to reserve the place for Google ads):

body { background: white }
#content { margin-right: 125px; border-right: 1px solid #aaa }
#projects { visibility: hidden; }
#custom-advert { visibility: hidden; }
#siteSub { display: inline; color: white; font-size: 90%; font-weight: normal; font-style: italic; }
#siteSub:before { color: black; content: "From Ewokpedia, the IE-free Edit Wars encyclopedia (you don't use IE. Don't ask how we know.)" }

The method used to substitute the sitenotice text only works in Firefox and Opera 7.5+, IE users will see nothing. Also made Template:Navbox to substitute the contents of the navbox, see Talk:AAAAAAAAA!. - User:Guest/sig 16:41, 14 February 2006 (UTC)

CSS added. --Splaka 04:11, 15 February 2006 (UTC)
Actually, we can't block the custom-advert box by default, sorry. We don't want to annoy our host. Actually, shame on you for asking! Bad Guest, no oxygen. --Splaka 04:18, 15 February 2006 (UTC)


I never thanked you for adding that NRV tag thing, did I? Well consider this my thanks. :) --officer designate Club symbol Lugiatm Club symbol MUN NS CM ZM WH 14:02, 15 February 2006 (UTC)

Newcookie Lugiatm has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Pretty Please, with Sugar on it?

Splaka, can I please, please, please have my Won't you help template back. I know that there are many of that type but none of them play on people's guilt/emotion. Pretty, pretty please? If no one uses it in a month I promise that you could zap it. Pretty, pretty, Pretty, please???? Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 02:24, 19 February 2006 (UTC)

Bah! Fine. But it'll be on your head. Rar! *Menacing glare*. --Splaka 06:37, 19 February 2006 (UTC)
Just so long as it doesn't get on my face. XOXOX Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:14, 19 February 2006 (UTC)
Newcookie Prettiestpretty has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Chess board captions?

Multiple kings on Template:Chess are just fine -- an impossible position makes it all the funnier IMO. But why not include a caption -- (Black/White) to play and win in (-10..2000) moves? This could be the start to an entirely randomly-generated chess column at UnNews. Also, what if each square were to include, maybe one time out of 500, something that wasn't a chess piece at all? Seahen 02:02, 19 February 2006 (UTC)

I think captions would be use rarely enough that there wouldn't be a need for a template. Just put some <choose><option> codelets in the news item. Although this non-chess piece randomly does intrigue me... "Pawn, Rook, King, Knight, Pawn, Rook, Pawn, Pawn, Pennsylvania.... wtf". --Splaka 06:40, 19 February 2006 (UTC)

Riaan Cruywagen

Please undelete the Riaan Cruywagen page. He is not non-notable. He is the oldest South African newsreader, and has a high public profile in South Africa. He is very worthy of satire, as he has a creepy, strange look to him, and has not changed his appearence in decades. Every Afrikaans speaking person knows instantly who he is! -- 09:02, 20 February 2006 (UTC)

Can you show me some references? There are only 214 google matches for his name, and no en.wp article [1]. That seems highly unnotable. :/ --Splaka 09:08, 20 February 2006 (UTC)

Well, the fact that he didn't have a wikipedia article was a clear oversight :-). Actually, he's a uniquely South African icon, which explains the lack of internet coverage to a certain extent. He is unusually intelligent for a newsreader. His only two film appearances have been as himself. If that's not notability, what is? He is well liked, and actually a very interesting person, and as you can see in this interview and this one, his ever-youthful appearance always comes up in conversation. Because he has been involved in South African TV since the very start, he has an image of being indestructible and eternal in popular SA culture. His name is instantly recognizable as a byword for institutionalized media (see for example this blogger's use thereof; he didn't have to explain to his audience who Riaan was. When the SABC threatened to get rid of him, strikes were threatened.

So yes, not a notable person on the international scene, but definitely a notable South African. --Slashme 06:20, 21 February 2006 (UTC)

Ok, the notability factor is extremely low but you make a good case. However, the article's contents made it delete worthy. Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel 'list of facts' reworkd for someone else just aren't very funny. Please choose another approach. --Splaka 04:29, 22 February 2006 (UTC)


I'm a new uncyclopedia user... my first edit and first article. I'm trying to find something funny between meshing the words Oracle (database) and Oracle (fortune teller) and the Oracle CEO Larry Ellison. Can you give me some ideas? (see article Oracle)

I don't know much about the database, but you might approach it in a manner like: The Oracle database system, much like TarotSQL, returns different results each time data is read from it. The information returned depends on the alignment of certain celestial bodies and constellations, as well as the mood and status of the person requesting the information. While most database systems might consider this a bug, Larry Ellison marketed it as a feature. ... or such --Splaka 04:29, 22 February 2006 (UTC)

Deleted Article

Well, you deleted my first article, on Tiger Woods, and I was wondering why? Was it just straight out horrible? Or was there some other reason such as a format problem? All it said in paranthesis was "This hurts my face". --UtopiasNemo 04:53, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

There was very little content and all the images were external. That hurts my face! Rar. If you recreate it at least upload the images and format them using the [[Image]] tag. Pretty please? --Splaka 04:56, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

Hwat do you mean "Not notable"???

As I see, you've deleted the article Thor Heimdall marking it "not notable". JFYI: the name was a clear pun of the famous marine biologist and antropologist Thor Heyerdahl. VFU!!!1!!!one!!111!eins!1factorial Grep 12:05, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

..."famous marine biologist"!!! One of the funniest phrases I've heard in a loooong time. I'll bet he's even more famous than all those famous meterologists and geologists. I hear they have to have super-tight security to keep all the fangirl-stalkers away from them. Else they'd be buried in panties and shit. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 15:21, 24 February 2006 (UTC)
I'm amazed in what arse you've been last 50 years if you dinn't ever hear of Thor Heyerdahl? Grep 16:53, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

He is pretty famous. But that most certainly isnt a clear pun. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 15:56, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

Okay, just undelete and rename properly... Grep 16:53, 24 February 2006 (UTC)
Done - short stub now located at Thor Heyerdahl. I was nice enough to include our precious NRV tag, which will give you a week's grace period to actually make it into an article. Once that happens, remove the NRV tag. If you don't make it into an article, in a week it will die a horrible death. Like last time.
To be clear, an article is several paragraphs of information, with headers and such. Not just one. Make it good, make it funny. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 17:09, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

Main Page

Before you continue tinkering with the Main Page, please copy Main Page/XHTML over it. - User:Guest/sig 12:54, 26 February 2006 (UTC)

No, I've got a better idea. Why don't you hold off until we are done designing it. --Splaka 03:35, 27 February 2006 (UTC)

Help me, bitch

Aaargh. Now I can't even seem to get onto the cgi chat client at work! Curses, curses and thrice curses! However, with your massive irc brain, maybe you can proffer some kind of solution or workaround if there is one. When I trty to connect I get the following:

*** Welcome to CGI:IRC 0.5.6 (2005/02/09)
*** Looking up
*** Connecting to [] port 6667 *** Looking up your hostname... *** Checking ident *** No identd (auth) response *** Found your hostname *** Banned:  Your computer may be infected with a trojan.  Please contact (f296b) 
*** Closing Link (Banned)
*** Disconnected from IRC (type /reconnect to connect again)

I feel so... isolated. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 09:15, 28 February 2006 (UTC)

/me waves at Cody. And have a look at Uncyclopedia_talk:Chat#Slacker -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Hmmm. I've emailed the address, so we'll see. In the meanwhile, could you check the ban list on #uncyclopedia and make sure that it isn't just a rogue wildcard which is banning the whole domain? Cheers. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 09:44, 28 February 2006 (UTC)
Very odd. I don't think that has anything to do with #uncyclopedia, looks like a freenode server problemo. --Splaka 20:41, 28 February 2006 (UTC)


I was taking a look at Nihilism earlier and I noticed that the community section is showing up on the left. I checked the history and noticed that you've done a bunch of the work on it, so I thought I'd let you know so that you can fix it. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 17:12, 28 February 2006 (UTC)

Carlb's fault. When I made the css for that page, the community box didn't exist. Will look into. --Splaka 20:41, 28 February 2006 (UTC)


I had sworn that Uncyclopedian of the Month had been on the front page before and although, admittedly, vanity got me off my lazy ass, I had intended to readd (improperly) it for a while. Thanks for checking me and sorry for making it necessary. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 04:18, 1 March 2006 (UTC)

Heh heh. I think Uncyclopedian of the Year was there for January, but that's it. Check the history though? --Splaka 04:20, 1 March 2006 (UTC)

Bass Offender Checklist

It looks great after your cleanup job! Muchas, muchas gracias amigo. ~ T. (talk) 06:33, 1 March 2006 (UTC)

Glad ya like it, was trying to make it look like a ticket or piece of legal paper. Any other suggestions? --Splaka 06:37, 1 March 2006 (UTC)
None. I'm extremely pleased with it. Speaking of which, I can't tell you how many times I've used that /pal page (at Ogopogo's, but it looks like your doing). It's enormously handy! Thanks! ~ T. (talk) 20:29, 1 March 2006 (UTC)
Holy crap!!! I had never noticed User:Ogopogo/pal before, but DAMN MAN!!! That's an impressive bit of work. And indeed, the checklist is pretty amusing. Tho I can't figure out where the fish are. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 23:29, 1 March 2006 (UTC)
<3 ... Maybe we should move it to Uncyclopedia:Palette or some such? --Splaka 00:52, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
Sounds good to me. I'd like to use PAL as the shortcut, except there's a lame stub there (though it could be moved to "Pal," which is free). ~ T. (talk) 02:22, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
Well, shortcuts to Uncyclopedia: namespace should be prefixed with UN (using en.wp style). UN:PAL would work. --Splaka 02:25, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
True, but many of those have dupe redirects without the prefix (WRITE, NUB, DUMB, etc.). Truth is, I'm basically a lazy person willing to bend rules in order to save 3 keystrokes (especially when one requires use of the shift key).  :) UN:PAL is fine, too. ~ T. (talk) 02:34, 2 March 2006 (UTC)

Telescum New Zealand

I'd appreciate you not just putting up articles for deletion just because you don't understand them. Yes it is aimed at a target audience, mainly New Zealanders (most of which have had a bad run in with Telecom, or Telescum as it were) but then so are most of the seemingly senseless articles on this site.

I'd appreciate you actually reading the NRV tag and NOT accusing me of putting your article up for deletion just because you don't understand it. It is not a nomination for deletion, but a stay of execution and a chance for the article to be expanded and formatted. I'd also appreciate you signing your comments. You don't always get what you want. --Splaka 07:04, 1 March 2006 (UTC)

Where's Abbie Hoffman? I don't know, I don't know

This is not Wikipedia. It is not your job to decide what is funny and what is not. I am amazed at the amount of reactionary facism that first Wiki, and now Uncyclopedia haves shown. If you don't appreciate something, that doesn't give you liscence to delete it. Apparently the entire philosophy behind these things has been forgotten. You are pissing on the whole point of the exercise.

Actually you're right....this site isn't Wikipedia. But it IS the jobs of Admins to decide what is funny and what is not. If we didn't have standards the site would be filled with utter shite..... Incidently what IS the point of the exercise? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Speaking of excercise, maybe you should go outside and get some. Get away from all these wikis which disapoint you, and do something worthwhile with your life. Hey - here's an idea - why don't you take the FREE wiki software, and start a TOTALLY FREE WIKI of your own, where you can let people DO WHATEVER THEY WANT? How cool would that be? You could be a visionary, and fully realize the philosophy behind the wiki. And best of all, you could stop bitching about how we run our website, since you obviously don't know what the hell you are talking about.

And speaking of pissing on things, I'm quite good at pissing on things. I have pissed on a large number of things in my life. The top-ten things I am most proud of having pissed on are:

10) A cat.

9) Snow. While writing is hard, I can draw pictures.

8) Myself. It took a few tries before I could walk and piss at the same time.

7) Everybody's fun who comes here. Seriously, nothing like a good banning or delete-rampage to "rain" on someone's parade.

6) Flowers. Lots and lots of flowers.

5) The sidewalk at college, 1.5 minutes before security came by and discussed (loudly) that it looked like someone was walking and pissing at the same time.

4) Splaka's User talk page.

3) The entire philosophy behind the wiki way.

2) My ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend's new camero.

1) My high school, the night I graduated. God that felt good. Still brings a smile to my face.

So there you have it - who ever said that wiki's weren't totally free and informative? They're overly imformative now! At least this one is. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 01:36, 3 March 2006 (UTC)

I'm not really quite sure someone who spends enough time on Uncyclopedia (not Wikipedia, which is arguably of some value to someone, but Uncylopedia) to get at least some semblance of an admin position can unironically tell me to go get some exercise.I know everyone finds flamewars incredibly enterntaining, and searching the internet for things you don't find funny must be both personally rewarding and easily accomplished, but it seems to me that such things, as well as say, making your own wikicity because someone doesnt like you, kinda suck.

Geez, you guys are so mean to the noobs. All he was doing was trying to claim all wikis as his forum for free speech. After all, the tagline "Anyone can edit" of course instantly equals "Anyone can do anything they want to, because it is a free country, free speech, and the First Amendment allows me to use and abuse a website that someone else pays for any way I see fit, and then whine like a little schoolgirl when they either a) don't instantly praise me for it, b) ban and revert my changes". </sarcasm>... Anywho: "This is not Wikipedia. It is not your job to decide what is funny and what is not." <-- what kind of argument is that? Does Wikipedia hire admin to decide what is funny and what is not? Because, as Mhaille said, Uncyc does that here, in fact most Admin are arbitrators and executors of the standards of funny here, because the main point of this wiki is to Be funny and not just stupid. --Splaka 02:06, 3 March 2006 (UTC)

In an argument, people sometimes use a technique called logical progression. This means that each consecutive point has some relation to the previous. There's also a technique whereby the speaker deviates from this, in fact breaking this chain. This may explain the understandable problems you had with the connection between those two statements, since they were not, as you astutely observed, connected! I offer my congratulations and the opportunity to learn more at

Actually, wikipedia pays me to decide what's funny and what's not. I just donate my time here by anonymously adding funny content I take off of that site. And I donate my timne there by taking the unfunny stuff off this site, and adding it to wikipedia. Because they aren't allowed to be funny, and we are. It's a win-win-win-win situitation. I'm what you'd call an "expert". If you were trying to call experts. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 03:50, 3 March 2006 (UTC)

Wikipedia doesn't think I'm funny enough to bother paying me so I mark the hours as charitable contributions. Just don't tell the IRS that I'm scamming them out of tens of thousands of dollars in the form of "legal advice provided to a non-profit organization". --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 05:21, 3 March 2006 (UTC)


Can you have a look at Template:VFH. Looks fine in FF, but I can't see whats causing the text to drop in IE. The actual template hasn't been edited for ages..... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

What seems to be the symptom? --Splaka 02:04, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
The text appears about 30 pixels below the text box, in a layer over the footer of the page. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Appears to have been this edit. See if it is fixed now (algo reverted). --Splaka 09:07, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
Yep.....sorted. Hope the guilty party was flogged publicly. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Slap me some skin

<ONX>hey, splaka, where can i find the redesigned uncyclopedia main pages (DOS, Oscar wilde day, etc)thanks.

See Wikipedia:Uncyclopedia#Main_Page_Holidays. --Splaka 23:42, 9 March 2006 (UTC)

Sig picture

Soo, why is your sig picture the WikiFur logo? Are you trying to tell us something? --Poofers 03:26, 14 March 2006 (UTC)



Not even close. Mine is an image I made for Dawg, who later made his own, so I used it to keep it from the orphanarium. Although I was made a systop on by FORCE. *purrr* --Splaka 04:07, 14 March 2006 (UTC)


“In Soviet Russia, Article randomly deletes YOU!!
~ Oscar Wilde on what you just did

Dude, WTF? You fricking deleted Haska. Why the ?@&# did you do that. Seriously, that was the best article I have written, and I tirelessly revised it, why the ramen noodles did you get rid of it. Nobody else seemed to have a problem and you walked up and went DIGGITYDIGGITYDELETED!!

Flameviper12 17:31, 22 March 2006 (UTC)

Todd deleted it first (I just checked the version he deleted, it was a piece of crap). It was re-created in pretty much the same form (but more unreadable, white on white text) later, so I deleted it again. Ask Todd why he deleted it first, all I did was delete something WORSE than what he deleted. --Splaka 04:55, 23 March 2006 (UTC)
Erm, wait a minute, no. Um, no, that's not what I wrote. I wrote something completely unlike that, what Todd deleted was indeed crap, I admit that, and I had about 30 seconds to write it. But the later version, which j00 delet3z0r3d, was actually a fine, if you can call any part of Uncyclo fine, piece of work. I don't know what in the ramen noodles you're talking about with "white on white text" but that rings no bells, I never did that. Also, erm, it was a completely different form than the first form...although it kinda had the same point it had multiple sections, paragraphs, and a funny template, eh? Oh, by the way, when you deleted Template:Censor you said that it was only on one page and there it was subst'ed, but really it wasn't, and when you deleted that page and the template you forever destroyed it...I could have added it to later articles, but noo, can't we have any eventualism? God, no. Not to come off as scathing, or rude even, just intended to seem a tad impolite. Actually, scratch that, as you do seem the only one to be able to retrieve it now, I shouldn't be a big poopy meaniepants, but anyway, erm...I'm too lazy to use Backspace so I guess my rambling will be forever immortalized. OK, that didn't make sense, but WeLkUm To MaH wUrLd!!!!!!!
... What the hell are you rambling about? The version I deleted was exactly the same as the one Todd deleted, except the text was white instead of black. I just did a side by side comparison. You've just created it again I see. As for the template, it was ugly and unformatted (you just indented the lines to <pre> it eh?) and unneeded. Anywho. You now have it in your user space Please go away. Kthx. --Splaka 03:42, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

Jebany Menel

Why deleted You my article 'Jebany Menel' Kondzio15 @

Article yours written in Spanish? Other language perhaps? Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:27, 24 March 2006 (UTC)
Because the total content was "Jebany Menel (pronouced: Yeah-bunny Mae-nelle) - Very famous man, the is come from Poland. He likes drink jabol's and he lives in Warsaw now." and it was about someone with no wikipedia article and 7 total google hits, which means they are unnotable. Read Uncyclopedia:Vanity Policies 03:44, 24 March 2006 (UTC)


Hi, Spalka. I need to ban a I.P range in the spanish uncy's sister. Can you explain me how it's done?--Rataube 02:55, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

Try m:Range_blocks, and this calculator might help. Or just tell me the IPs and I'll tell you what to block. --Splaka 03:48, 24 March 2006 (UTC)
Thank you, the first link told me averything I need to know for now.--Rataube 11:18, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

VFP fix

It was a </div> tag...I SOOOOO deserve a cookie for that!  – Mahroww a.k.a. Sir Hymie Rae Tooten  06:48, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

Actually, the div at the end that you removed is needed too. No cookie for you! Sucker ^_^. --Splaka 08:06, 24 March 2006 (UTC)
No kidding, and it was ultra lazy too...I did a "copy and paste" but evidently ended up doing a "cut and paste" instead. After I write "I will not copy and paste </div> or any other 6 character tag," on the chalboard 100 times can I get a pat on the back?  – Mahroww a.k.a. Sir Hymie Rae Tooten  20:59, 24 March 2006 (UTC)
Ok. --Splaka 04:50, 25 March 2006 (UTC)

Speling on Euphemism

Hi Splaka,

Looks to me that the 22 Jan edit by <IP> of did try to fix speling but inadvertedly scrapped most of the page. Your reversal undid the intended fix.

Then again, perhaps 'tired' is part of the joke and I'm just too tried to get it. (Get it? :))

Well, their "contribution" was 99.9% vandalism. I am not going to revert to their version just to get the correct spelling. Fix the spelling yourself if you want. --Splaka 04:50, 25 March 2006 (UTC)

Midnight Cowmouse Question

Greetings, Splaka, I have edited the Midnight Cowmouse article...does it have RV now? If not, how could I improve it? Any comments are appreciated. SnoopY 01:56, 27 March 2006 (UTC)

Sure. --Splaka 03:59, 27 March 2006 (UTC)

Think, don't suck.

Right. I'd like you to be a little more clear about WHY YOU DELETED GAME:ZORK/KANJITIME. Why? What do you mean to many links to article space, getting huffed? You deleted a page in the middle of Zork 3, so you have officially fucked up teh entire game. Congratz. So I'd like you to OR give me a very good reason for deleting the page, OR restore the page. I hope you ever read this, I don't seem to be the only one having problems with you deleting pages. Love, User:PBz0r

I actually found out there was a page you deleted which was erronous. How good of you! What I'm wondering now is why you delete random pages out of Zork. Pages which do work. Have you noticed that 60% of all deletes the last month are yours? Don't you think you need a break of deleting? You're just addicted to it.
Yes, it's me again. And this will be my last message. I read the deletion policy and I (think I) understand what you meant: the page was basically links to other pages. But... isn't that obvious for a zork-page? You know what, I'll stop freaking you out, and wait for an answer first. Pier.
Excuse me, YOU fucked up the entire game. You (if it was you) were linking to and creating zork pages out in the main article space (not prefixed with Game:Zork/). They are not random pages out of zork, they are PAGES NOT EVEN PROPERLY IN THE GAME. I actually fixed several of the Game:Zork pages you made, but some were just not worth fixing and were deleted, and I also deleted all the ones outside of the Game: namespace (I've tried moving all incorrectly placed pages, but it is way too much work, and the clueless users never learn). So, you should take your own advice. Please THINK, and don't SUCK at creating Zork pages so much (But contratz on sucking so much and making pages that do the same). As for me deleting 60%, I can guarantee, around 99% of the stuff I delete would be deleted within a week anyway. Much if it is by request on QVFD (such as pages moved to sister projects, or broken redirects). --Splaka 04:06, 28 March 2006 (UTC)
PS: Read these by Keitei: Uncyclopedia:Uncyclopedia Is Not My Job and Uncyclopedia:Laziness FTW. --Splaka 04:16, 28 March 2006 (UTC)

Smoke da' Bong!

Oh kindest sir, I wish to formally, sincerely, and deeply thank you for your efforts in bringing an end to the Battle of the Bong, a Flamewar that had consumed much of my resources and time. My deepest appretiations go to you for assisting my cause and propelling my side to victory! If ever you feel I could be of service, I would be honored to serve your any purpose.

--CrownHis Royal Majesty, Simulacrum Caputosis the GreatCrown20:15, 29 March 2006 (UTC)
Wha? All I did was ban him for having slightly dumber revisions than you! Heh heh. You're welcome. --Splaka 03:38, 30 March 2006 (UTC)

Uncyc Hackers?

By the way, someone tried to hack into my uncyc account. I came back from a game, and found 12 "change of password" e-mails. Apparently started from IP It was reccomended that I inform you of this. Thanks, man. --epynephrin 02:12, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

I'll ask jason. But they should be harmless, just ignore them. --Splaka 05:21, 31 March 2006 (UTC)
thanks. I just changed my password, and filed the e-mail away. Probably a handful of morons looking for "trouble", which I'm far, far too lazy to give them. --epynephrin 04:08, 1 April 2006 (UTC)
Don't even bother changing the password. The email doesn't change it, it just offers a temporary secondary one. Just delete the emails. --Splaka 05:50, 1 April 2006 (UTC)


Sorry dude, saw the block on RC and thought you'd accidentally blocked yourself. What's the deal anyway, the username looks exactly the same...? -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:39, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

User:Splaka User:SpIaka

It is also easy to put hidden (nondisplayed) characters into the nickname. Watch for that. --Splaka 10:42, 31 March 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, about a month ago there was a spree of vandals who's usernames appeared to contain no characters whatsoever... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 02:09, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

Easy on the trigger finger

What you do [that] for it was on the Main page!!--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 10:58, 31 March 2006 (UTC)


Regarding Template:Jesii, can you tell me what I need to change to get Strawberry Jesus on there? I thought my article was looking considerably better than some of the other ones it features. Thanks. Bloopy icon Bloopy 05:59, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

Well, the main points against it are: 1) the article is a redirect to a page only partially about that Jesii, which 2) appears to be a Newgrounds in-joke that not many will get and 3) it is a stupid jesii. Rar! --Splaka 06:03, 1 April 2006 (UTC)
All Jesii are equally stupid. I'm not religious. I figured I only had enough effort for one decent article. I could've just as easily made a Strawberry Jesus page with information about Clock Day. Plus, Strawberry Jesus is really tasty! Bloopy icon Bloopy 06:09, 1 April 2006 (UTC)
I'd say, put it in the Template:Unwanted Jesii for now. --Splaka 06:18, 1 April 2006 (UTC)
Seems appropriate, thanks! Bloopy icon Bloopy 06:25, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

Umm yeah... this guy came on IRC and said his IP address was blocked, looks like he was affected in the huge range block for that "On Crack" vandal. Since there are no admins on IRC I thought I'd see if I could catch you here. Apparently he's tried rebooting his modem to get a new IP, but it always has the 69.37.* prefix, which is what you blocked. He says it's the entire state of Connecticut... Idk if I believe him, but if it is, nice going! Anyway, he's still on IRC, might wanna try his talk page or soemthing as well. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:59, 2 April 2006 (UTC)

Elvis took care of it.. sort of... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:05, 3 April 2006 (UTC)
What do you mean sort of!!!--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 00:13, 3 April 2006 (UTC) (bah edit conflict)
Way to Sign in there, bud. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:11, 3 April 2006 (UTC) (bah you!) Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:14, 3 April 2006 (UTC)

Ok, you fucking win. I know we measure e-penis by girth of deletions and length of bans, but the WHOLE FUCKING STATE OF CONNECTICUT? I give up...what the hell would I have to ban to beat this one? California? England? Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 00:19, 3 April 2006 (UTC)

I have reinstated it. It is in no way a block of the whole state, just one ISP in one part of the US. LEAVE it for now (or talk to me, or sit and patrol the rc yourself for the entire time you have them unblocked ^_^). I have also added the on crack's second range. --Splaka 05:32, 3 April 2006 (UTC)


Why the hell did you delete my template?! Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~ 15:21, 6 April 2006 (UTC)

Why the hell did you create it? It is not funny, it is redundant (we have plenty of templates that mean the same thing without being as crude), it is insultive, and it is trolling. Also, your sig was very broken. --Splaka 03:59, 7 April 2006 (UTC)

Patrick Amba-Skibow

You deleted the page Patrick Amba-Skibow, which was one of the first to be created in order to put together a complete list of profiles for players in the Solomon Islands vs Sandwich Islands match. I actually created this page, although I was not logged in when I did so. Please re-instate it or send me the text so I can do it myself. There was no reason for its deletion and you should have consulted someone or given adequate warning time and reasoning before doing so. Northeasternbeast 10:34, 9 April 2006 (UTC)

Vanity (non notable people) = Crap = deleted. There is every reason in the world to delete most vanity. Read our policies. --Sir Splak Sigpaw KUN UotM NotM MDA HoF VFP Bur. SG CM +S NS © (talk) 04:54, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

Ban Patrol

Why did you revert my ban report? --Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~ 16:50, 9 April 2006 (UTC)

I answered this yesterday but the edit got lost in the server problems. See this. Also, you did not wait 2 days, you waited 8 hours. --Sir Splak Sigpaw KUN UotM NotM MDA HoF VFP Bur. SG CM +S NS © (talk) 04:54, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

NRV on Raffles Institution

I have improved the article and henceforth remove the tag. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Terrancommander (talk • contribs) 12 April 2006

Ok. --Splaka 03:31, 13 April 2006 (UTC)

Custom JS for Do_NOT_click_any_links!/click32

Is it possible to have a Javascript that replaces every link on Do_NOT_click_any_links!/click32 with a link to Do_NOT_click_any_links!/click33? - Nonymous 02:15, 13 April 2006 (UTC)

It is technically possible in theory, but not near worth it. There are no pages with custom javascripts, only custom CSS (and those mostly only for current and former main page reskins). --Splaka 03:31, 13 April 2006 (UTC)

Protect page, pls

I believed that it is good to lock Babel:Zh-hant/PCDVD數位科技討論區 for a month, if possible. --Hant 15:01, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

Quoted another user posted on my talk page:

Please temporary protect page: Babel:Zh-hant/PCDVD數位科技討論區, too much rvt and depredation in this page, Thanks. Judgehou 14:51, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

Ok. Is protected. Let me know what version to revert it to if it isn't at a good one. --Splaka 03:19, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

I suggest to use this version:

 moved to page.

This is the last version before the page lacked plus adding categories and make some changes. But I think it is still good to remain locking of this page. (There are hundrens of editions of this articles, I am not interested in comparing them, and find the best one.)

Can you also protect the page Babel:Zh-hant/首頁? It is the main page of Babel:Zh-hant. I don't want to revert it nearly everytime!--Hant 01:16, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

Moneysign got it I see. Also for future reference, you can just go to the history and click on the date of the version you want to link to, and paste the url to a talk page etc (rather than the whole page's contents). --Splaka 04:16, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

An idea I'm wondering about

Greetings, Splaka, Sorry to bother you, but we seem to have some semblance of a listing of U.S. Presidents. Why not have one of Easter Bunnies? (See the UnNews article about the previous Easter Bunny dying of rabies, for example.) Is it worth it and, if so, would you mind helping me with such a project? SnoopY 02:24, 17 April 2006 (UTC)

Hmm, you should probably ask for help in the village dump. I don't think I can help much (except technical aspects). --Splaka 03:36, 18 April 2006 (UTC)

DYK submission

I noticed you delete a great deal of things. But just to be clear, and not to argue, may you please inform me of why you deleted the DYK submission of mine earlier today? Was it just something that I did wrong or didn't read? Hopefully your justification is reasonable. LadySway1985 05:47, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

If you mean this, then, it just seemed rather pointless, and Chron isn't really notable enough yet for that not to be slandanity. --Splaka 05:52, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Hello Splaka my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again, Because a vision softly creeping, Left it’s seeds while I was sleeping. That vision was that of a mainpage reskin, and behold I started to work on it. As you may be able to tell, it is a spork of [2], and I was gonna uncyclopedifile it. Problem is, it doesn't work right. I was told on #uncyclopedia to ask you to help because as gwax put it "gwax: because your html tags are being parsed as text, not as html tags". I hope you can help. Thanks in advance, --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:54, 25 April 2006 (UTC)

Sorry, didn't have time yesterday to look at it, will give it a try in a min. --Splaka 03:27, 26 April 2006 (UTC)
Fixed and formatted a bit, I think it gave me cancer, replied on your talk page too. --Splaka 08:17, 26 April 2006 (UTC)
Yes I saw that, and am fine with carrying on any further communications on the subject at that venue. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:01, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
Ok, at User_talk:Zombiebaron/ ? --Splaka 05:18, 28 April 2006 (UTC)

502 Proxy Error

The NRV tagging of 502 Proxy Error seems strange, given the other similar pages that exist such as Database, Database_error, Databases, and a number of others. How exactly do you suggest I give an error redeeming value? Bloopy icon Bloopy 10:30, 27 April 2006 (UTC)

Those all suck too, but are too old to NRV. The point is, we don't really need more. Yours though is a bad css hack and text bleeds through in certain resolutions. I don't know how it can be fixed. --Splaka 02:27, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
I didn't pay much attention to the CSS as I copied it from another page. The database errors and such were some of the first things I saw on Uncyclopedia and I thought they were quite funny. Bloopy icon Bloopy 02:43, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
You could submit it to a Pee review maybe. --Splaka 03:13, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
Not sure that it's worth it really. I've used some simpler CSS now, but if you don't want that sort of page on here then I don't mind. Bloopy icon Bloopy 07:57, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
Well, it still doesn't look good hacked: the line under the title is only partially obscured by the image. Might be best not to have that image moved at all, just at the top of the article. --Splaka 08:00, 28 April 2006 (UTC)

Ban patrol message

"Be sure and look for deleted edits though...". A good point, certainly; but is there an easy wasy to display a user's deleted edits? Obviously they don't show up in the contribs page, but am I missing a really simple method of tracking them, or is it a case of sifting through Special:Log/delete trying to spot the IP in question? -- Sir Codeine KUN VFP Bur. MDA NS UotM CM +S (Harangue) 13:28, 29 April 2006 (UTC)

Tokei-Tai Link

Say, that was a nice idea to just change the whole link all together to save having a redundant page, I should have probably thought about that first.

--N3v 12:11, 29 April 2006 (UTC)


Please could you delete this photo? [3] I think it's a kind of retaliation for reverting vandalism of the Aylesbury Grammar School article on wikipedia. A user uploaded it from my flickr account which has the same name as the wikipedia id they're now 'stalking'. I already removed the content from the AGS page, just can't delete the photo and would appreciate someone doing that as it's a photo of me! Thanks very much Jessicarabbit 22:59, 29 April 2006 (UTC)

K. I recall when that was uploaded several admin wondered what the point of it was. --Splaka 06:24, 30 April 2006 (UTC)
Cheers :) Jessicarabbit 11:11, 30 April 2006 (UTC)


hey Splaka, you know I've noticed the whole CUN list has become kinda big and I mean I'm not complaining but, well, maybe I haven't done any of the specifics or anything required to do this but like I mean i helped design the whole system and all and.. basically can I be special order KUNed? I know I could do it myself but I dont want to see Uncyclopedia take a step in that dictatorial monarchical direction. I prefer it to be a liberal environment where everyone is given equal voice and people cant just pull themselves up to power. cough cough haha :) anyways yeah, so if you could just say sure or something, then I could change my sig and feel cool again :) thanks :) --Maj Sir Insertwackynamehere Icons-flag-us CUN VFH VFP Bur. CM | Talk | Rate 00:58, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

Heh, well, sorry to say, you must reap what you have sown. As only a KUN myself, I cannot singly promote you to that rank. You might get a GUN to do it, but it is probably easier to earn one of the awards. You could win the Mega Deletion Award by doing site maintenace such as deleting orphaned talk pages in the main article namespace (or really, any namespace but User_talk:), or other such things. </bastardadmin> --Splaka 05:22, 4 May 2006 (UTC) PS, you should change your sig in Special:Preferences to say {{nosubst|Insertwackynamehere/Signature}}, as the 1.7 upgrade auto-prefixes SUBST: to all sig inclusions.

My article!!!

what exactly justified your deletion of my article on Luna Lovegood? she is sadly neglected here at Uncyclopedia. She needs an article. -Weyoun 47 06:31, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

What justified me deleting it was the contents: Luna is a BATSHIT INSANE girl who believes everything she reads. She - OMG IS THAT A CRUMPLEHORN SNORDACK!!?!?. That is NOT an article, and you re-created it after it was deleted once already. You've now been banned for 1 day for this and other minor offenses, I suggest you read HTBFANJS. --Splaka 06:36, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

Why must you be hatin gon Igor its not his fault hes deformed! What must i do to redeem his name, show his picture? That would be horrifying and furtherly unredeem his image. He needs some loving too. -Elstabadore

I didn't hate him, just told him he was ugly and stupid looking and should improve his style before he gets kicked out. --Splaka 22:31, 14 May 2006 (UTC)

I officially have a problem with you.

--Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~14:34, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

Hey.....nice pants..... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

The World's Tiniest String Quartet.
Shown under an electron microscope.
Scale is 100 pixels per Ångstrom.
They are playing My Heart Bleeds for You.

--Splaka 03:46, 5 May 2006 (UTC)

Does this mean...

that you have a homosexual attraction to Oscar wilde? You banned a user and pointed them to How to be Funny and Not Just Blank Oscar Wilde to Hide my Homosexual Attraction to Him. -Weyoun 47 05:40, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

All the admin do, duh. But reread the phrasing, I didn't blank it. Double duh. --Splaka 05:46, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
It still seemed like you were telling him not to hide your attraction to Oscar Wilde. But as you just stated, you don't even attempt to hide it. Can't say I blame you. -Weyoun 47 05:50, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

Now the template is screwed up.

The Italy template that was so graciously made for my article is screwed up since the change you made on Venice. Can you have a look and see if you can fix that? Oh, and I'm Claudius, nice to meet you sir. :) And I appreciate your help.--2nd Lt. Claudius Prime 13:58, 11 May 2006 (UTC)

It looks fine to my mozilla. The only difference between having the span and not having the span is the spacing of the paragraphs, the fake template looks exactly the same to me. --Splaka 03:15, 12 May 2006 (UTC)


Hey S. My article "Yahoo!" is currently tied for #1 at VFH, and the fact of the matter is, it's going to be hard as Hell to feature. I was thinking it might be easier to do it as a reskin instead. What do I need to do to pull this off? (it would, ideally, also get rid of the sidebar).--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:09, 12 May 2006 (UTC)

I just changed it to use MediaWiki:Skin/Fullscreen.css (via MediaWiki:Uncyclopedia.js). Is that what you mean? On the day of the reskin, rcmurphy or I can swap the main page out. --Splaka 08:32, 13 May 2006 (UTC)
Once the Google Ads and the VFH template from the top are good that will be spot on.... :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
The ads cannot be removed, per our terms of service. --Splaka 09:44, 13 May 2006 (UTC)
Yes! That's great! Now, how can I edit this? I need to make some changes (like making the VFH thing at the top go away and having at least ONE of the links lead to the REAL main page (which should probably go to "Maine Page" again). Thanks!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 11:14, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

Edit. --Splaka 04:45, 14 May 2006 (UTC)

Most linked to!

I was messing around with special pages, and I realized that


are the most-linked-to User! And


am too lazy to make a template! Isn't it great? --Bleachie Icons-flag-us talc 01:26, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

Nobody cares. --Splaka 01:38, 16 May 2006 (UTC)


Kewl tweaking on my siggie there; thx! --DWIII OUN CUN 12:15, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

Haha, enjoy. Also, you might wanna use {{nosubst:User:DWIII/sig}} in prefs so as to keep it editable later (until we are forced to subst). --Splaka 21:27, 16 May 2006 (UTC)
Testing: {{SUBST:nosubst|User:DWIII/sig}} --DW III CUNOUN 09:56, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

Stankee Candle Photos

I know we've had our differences in the past, but I need your help on something. I'm doing an article parodying Yankee Scented Candles called "Stankee Candles" and I'm having some problems with my images for the article. The images are in my laboratory under "Stankee Candles". Could you find it in your heart to spruce up the images? --Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~13:42, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

Say what now? Spruce? --Splaka 04:00, 18 May 2006 (UTC)

Spruce (sproos):
-spruced, sprucing, spruces
v. To fix up; to make neat or trim; to make better- spruced up the chairs with new slipcovers.

Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~12:36, 18 May 2006 (UTC)

The Spruce are often the most stankee, with baby-powder coming in a close second. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 20:24, 18 May 2006 (UTC)
I'm not talking about the tree! I'm using the word as a verb, meaning "make better". Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~21:06, 18 May 2006 (UTC)
Wow...I learn something new every day. To pay you back, did you know that stankee candles taste just like they smell? Most people assume that they taste awful - truth is, they are fantastic. Not many people know this. While you can't really eat the wax, you can chew it like gum. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 21:18, 18 May 2006 (UTC)

And yet you still haven't said in what way you want them made better. All I can assume from this is that you would leave that up to me (in which case, the best action to take would be to delete them). --Splaka 03:40, 19 May 2006 (UTC)
Date: Fri, 19 May 2006 14:51:51 GMT
From: Tripod2282 <>
To: Splaka
Subject: Uncyclopedia e-mail

What is your problem, dude. Really. You've got serious control freak anger issues. You
are a horrible admin. Do the world a favor and go hide in a hole somewhere.
Wow. Amazing the change you suffer do when things don't go your way. Hah. Thanks for the lovely comment, I'll be sure to be helping you with your project right away, indeed. Yessir. --Splaka 10:29, 20 May 2006 (UTC)

A Template

Please copy the following to Template:Zh-hant/????????????, and keep Template:Zh-hant/???????????? protected at current level.


--Hant 04:09, 21 May 2006 (UTC)

Ok, what I've done instead is change that template to {{User:Hant/????????????.css}}, and moved the text to User:Hant/????????????.css. The .css extension makes it appear as a user style sheet, and the system automatically semi-protects it from any edits except by you and the admin. You can't 'preview' it to see how it will appear, but you can preview the code in another page and paste it there. Let me know if you need more page 'hack' protected in this way (and also let me know if this works ok for you). --Splaka 04:19, 21 May 2006 (UTC)
Thank You!--Hant 04:23, 21 May 2006 (UTC)

ED SUCKS BIG, FAT HORSE... should see my work for against ED. I'd give you alink to my edit history

but alas...

My computer blocks ED under "Sex" but Uncyc is not blocked. I could use a proxy but I don't have much time and I'm too lazy. Also, they like to remote-access my computer for no apparent reason. Frequently.

Good work, Uncyc is clean enough to be unblocked. Or the people at Websense were laughing too hard to block it. I continue in my love for this site. Flameviper12 11:36, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

There is little to no point in vandalizing other wikis, that is just stupid. Try contributing positively to their competitors to make them obsolute instead. --Splaka 11:46, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

Duel Masters

Hey, why did you mark User:Hobelhouse/Duel Masters for deletion? It's in my userspace, I specifically asked to have it put there when it was deleted. Please remove the tag. --Hobelhouse 16:23, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

I did not put the tag there, nor did I nominate it for deletion. All I did was substitute the template, for the code of the template MINUS the category so it would not appear in the maintenance category. This is so that your page would not falsly appear on the VFD. This is my standard procedure for tags like VFD and NRV that appear on user pages, as many people put them there as 'jokes', which they are allowed as long as it isn't interfering with the categories. Remove the tag yourself. --Splaka 03:57, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
Oh, okay. Sorry about that. --Hobelhouse 16:34, 23 May 2006 (UTC)

Ask Hal 9000

Thanks for the help with the page. As you've undoubtedly noticed, my wiki-editing is not what it could be (I was originally planning to work out a main page Hal 9000 reskin, before discovering I didn't have a clue how to do it, so I settled on this simpler idea instead).

--Hrodulf 07:00, 23 May 2006 (UTC)

No prob. And main page reskins are a bit of a task. You can test one out by adding this to your User:Hrodulf/uncyclopedia.js
if(document.title.indexOf("Hrodulf/MainPageReskinTest") == 0) {
  document.write('<style type="text/css">/*<![CDATA[*/ @import "/index.php?title=MediaWiki:Skin/Fullscreen.css&action=raw&ctype=text/css"; /*]]>*/</style>');
Or you may want to point it to one of your own (if you know css) eg: /index.php?title=User:Hrodulf/hal.css&action=raw&ctype=text/css and then create User:Hrodulf/hal.css. --Splaka 07:13, 23 May 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, when I couldn't figure out how to get different columns to work, I quickly realized I wasn't ready to try a reskin yet. Maybe someday, when I've actually learned more wiki-html. I'll try your code for the learning experience, but I doubt I'll attempt a reskin in the near future. --Hrodulf 07:16, 23 May 2006 (UTC)


Dear Sir, So I went a little overboard with my attempt to have tons of bullshit huffed. Please tell me what I did wrong, so I refrain from it. I thought I was doing a service because all of the ones I wanted to be deleted were past their 30 day Ugly tag, and I invoked the speedy deletion clause. I'm a jackass I went through all of the Ugly articles and looked at their histories and saw the majority of them were past that pesky date thing. So two, three, even four months is an acceptable stew?Spices I hope? Enlighten me please, I want to know how it works. -- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 04:23, 23 May 2006 (UTC)

Apologizes for the short ban but I couldn't get an edit in edgewise, and I am lazy, and hate users! Arr. The {{Ugly}} tag points to Uncyclopedia:Maintenance/Ugly which is a list of all the pages in that category sorted by last edit. Periodically (once a month if given the chance) an Admin will go through and either remove the tag, retag the article, or delete the article depending on circumstance. It is on our to-do list, honest. But there are quite a few things on the cleanup list with higher priorities. So, your only error on retrospect was trying to do this the hard way, sorry ^_^. What you can do, if you feel like it, is go through the list and remove the ugly tag on any articles that have been very obviously improved since the tag was placed. Other than that, just let the admininators handle it, Cheers. --Splaka 04:31, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
PS FYI: you might not want to add pages to the QVFD one edit at a time (the main reason for the short block). ^_^ --Splaka 04:33, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
I know, I started getting more sophisticated once I realized I was being a fucking idiot. Are there awards for that? Damn. -- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 04:39, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
Yes, it is called adminship. --Splaka 04:42, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
Goodie! You're going to make me an ADMIN! Bad ass!!...what crack whore dissed you and told you that you could keep your money "it isn't any good to me?"-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 04:46, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
Good things come to those who wait. Yea, even crack whores who work for free. --Splaka 04:48, 23 May 2006 (UTC)

Polar bears

It was a quite harmless contribution you reverted on the Sweden page. Why? (If you really are at it, can't you revert like 80 % of the similar stuff on that page plz?) --Suresh simple Swami A. Suresh 08:57, 24 May 2006 (UTC)

I felt it was safest to clean out all of Special:Contributions/'s edits today. Check the last two... Also, feel free to clean up that article. Even you have the power of revert and line delete ^_^. --Splaka 09:06, 24 May 2006 (UTC)
I don't know If i love my fatherland that much. *Sigh*--Suresh simple Swami A. Suresh 10:35, 24 May 2006 (UTC)

Whoa! Sirius Issues!

Everywhere I see, I noticed some important information missing from relevant articals, EVERYWHERE. Wow.... So it IS true! DAGON!!!! (Oh, and his relative, Cthulu, and that sadistic bitch Gaia/Venus/Seramis/Sirius; crabalocker fish-wife who is lucifer in the sky with diamonds...) The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs) sometime in 1968

Indeed. Just don't spam the same thing on every page though. Please? --Splaka 04:04, 25 May 2006 (UTC)

Goddamnit Splarka!

The random links are part of the funny! >_< I want to revert it, but then again I don't wanna get banned. So say "clear", please. --Witty Guy bitch at me 23:39, 25 May 2006 (UTC)

Well, go ahead then. See if I care ^_^. --Splaka 03:37, 26 May 2006 (UTC)


Thanks... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 05:38, 27 May 2006 (UTC)


Dear Splaka -

I just submitted an article about Patrick Ewing where one key joke involved putting a superscripted footnote in front of WMPES, just like NSYNC has a foot note (*) in front of their name, and also in the same manner that Wikipedia regularly has footnotes on every page. The joke falls completely flat as currently shown ("1WMPES"). Along those lines, the footnoted link at the bottom of the page I created should go back to the same page, a fun little dig at the early days of wikipedia before the days of footnotes, when people would put whatever they wanted on Wikipedia with no accountability, just as is openly done now on Uncyclopedia... you see?... well, I thought it was a bit clever. So at any rate, I am wondering how to format the page so that the footnotes appear as I like and so that the footnote link at the bottom of the page links back to the same page as I intended. I tried everything.... cold not solve the superscript mystery... can you refer me to a formatting guide that will give me the advice I need to fix these problems? Also... if the jokes in the article make no sense - pass the article along for perusal by a basketball fan who knows how much Patrick Ewing would sweat.

Cheers, CJS

Trying to understand what you're trying to do. I've restored and unvandalized and retitled the article so far, and added a superscript link to #ref1 and a backlink to #reflink1 (in a span ID, view the source). Is that what you had in mind? --Splaka 08:31, 28 May 2006 (UTC)

Yes... you got it... I just applied your fix re supercripting to other instances of "1WMPES" as applicable, and the backlink was exactly what I had in mind. Thank you! CJS

Shadowmarth & Namster teh Hamster

Hey uh thanks for banning the people who were vandalizing my articles but can we please not delete them? I assure you Shadowmarth is vanity-less and I think the Namster vandalism issue is resolved now. They're still works in progress, please bear with me here... --ShadowRoy 05:34, 29 May 2006 (UTC)

Were both of them vandalizing? Also, please state these sentiments on the VFD entries. If they are voted to be deleted, you can request they be put into your user space for construction purposes. Cheers. --Splaka 05:40, 29 May 2006 (UTC)
Well it was mostly the one user TDSer. He thought his version was funnier, yet themixxer and i did not. Thus, he changed it back, but TDSer has this theory that its his way or the highway. SO eventually when he realized he couldn't get it his way he just deleted it, and themixxer kept reverting it. But I think TDSer is done being stupid... And oh yeah i don't really know how to work these VFD things, so thats why I posted something here. I'm kind of new to this.
Just go to Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion and edit the relevant section (keep) of both entries, adding a comment that it isn't vanity (explain why), and a note (for each) that if it is deleted you'd like it moved to your user page. --Splaka 03:15, 30 May 2006 (UTC)
I'd like to go on record saying that my issue with the page and why there were so many reverts and eventually I started deleting it was NOT really due to ShadowRoy's version but because theMixxer kept adding large amounts of obscenities and insults to the post (ex. changing the quote to "What I really want is a dick in my ass"). So theMixxer was not reverting it, he was vandalizing it in the worst way. This was the real problem I had, and I even made an attempt to revert it back to ShadowRoy's version but then got banned (which I hold no grudge for). And again for the record, I never attempted to vandalize, only to help actually make the post a bit funnier, my apologies for maybe going a bit to far in that respect. I thought this was free to edit by anybody, I didn't realize the original poster got priority over editors who just try to add a bit more to it. Considering Namster is based off an actually user, it would probably be more appropriate for him to have it as his user page, but whatever, it's really not that big a deal. --TDSer 21:20, 30 May 2006 (UTC)
It didn't look like you were vandalizing it, but 22 reverts in a row is a bit excessive, even for us with no 3RR rule. Next time you should use Uncyclopedia:Ban Patrol. Cheers. --Splaka 23:45, 30 May 2006 (UTC)
Thanks, your right, and I'll do that next time. Sorry. --TDSer 14:02, 1 June 2006 (UTC)

Keeping the Vandals at Bay

Thanks for keeping watch over my page.  :) I'm not sure why anyone would want to mess with it, but then vandals have messed with pages of dead admins, too. Might be just random, though it's been frequent lately. I deleted a over month's worth of NRV's after your request on the VD, so it's possible that I deleted some user's "masterpiece", too.  :P ~ T. (talk) 14:03, 29 May 2006 (UTC)

Noprob. I rangeblocked that australian ISP (just in Victoria I think) for a few days. And thanks for being a NRV whore ^_^. --Splaka 03:15, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the help with my signature and the new user project

I fixed all the talk pages, and appreciate the font color coding on my signature; I was trying to figure out how to get the link and my username to be white font, and couldn't work it out. Thanks again. --Hrodulf 13:16, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

I checked by clicking what links here on both HowToRef1 and 2, nothing links to them except the template graveyard. Looks like it's fixed now. Thanks for teaching me about subst: also, I still didn't get what it did until I was halfway through fixing the talk pages. I'm a bit slow with this wiki coding it seems. Thanks again for all the help.--Hrodulf 14:23, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

The new Template:VFH...

Snoopy headless dance

I won't hurt you

...has shaved seconds off my feature update time. Seriously, I love it. You get a headless Snoopy hug. —rc (t) 03:13, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

♥♥♥ --Splaka 04:14, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

Crack Vandal

Hey, so... it appears that the infamous crack vandal has struck UnMeta... with the help of Surreal Hamster, everything has been taken care of, and the usernames blocked. but, I was wondering if you had a list of the range-blocks currently implemented on him, so that I could block them on UnMeta as well. If you don't, that's fine, I can always go and find them myself, but I thought I might as well ask just in case. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 04:33, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

Heh, pathetic boy he is. IRC'd --Splaka 05:29, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

About JaffaScript and the Uncyclopedia:Departure of Fun

Splaka, I have an old Javascripted thingie that generates King-James-style curses from the Lord, and swops in and out some animated gifs and whatnot. (I wrote it with my own ten thumbs, no ©™® issues.) Should I submit it to someone smart so they can vet it and make sure it is OK for a Uncyclopedia page? (Seems a bad idea to let idiots like me just toss any old mass of kludged sperm whale dung masquerading as Javascript onto the site...) ----OEJ 21:44, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

We don't allow per-page javascripts, sorry. Only CSS, and only for reskins or very special pages (like Backwards, ), or featured articles of reskins). Security issues. --Splaka 03:24, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Ah, yes, understand. I glanced at the page source for Game:Craps/Play and saw a couple of things like "script type='text/javascript'" that I look more closerly I apprehend that they aren't the actual craps game but rather some fiddly stuff having to do with browzer interrogation. Very wise not to allow loose cannons like me to scatter jaffascript around the wiki. Over and owt.----OEJ 00:17, 8 June 2006 (UTC)


i was unaware of banpatrol but banpatrol seems proper, ffs was just meant to be jokes not actually enforced, i put it thusly on wiki/ffs instead of wiki/uncyc:ffs anyway yeah - jack mort | cunt | talkKodamaIcon - 22:30, 7 June 2006 (UTC)


I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR INSANE DELETION! You have deleted nearly everything I've created. Now, I DEMAND that you restore my JunkyArticle template. But, out of my fear on being banned, I will also accept a thorough and sarcasm-free explanation of why you deleeted it, on my talk page. --Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~00:25, 8 June 2006 (UTC)

Eh, Splaka's not another few weeks I'll have time to go on a long-overdue anti-list rampage, and delete all the unfunny lists cluttering this site. Just a heads up, in case you have an article or two composed of unfunny lists. Yes, that includes everything in the "top 100" category. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 00:38, 8 June 2006 (UTC)
It was redundant. We already have too many templates that say the same thing. Now that you've had your thorough and sarcasm-free explanation, do the world a favor and go hide in a hole somewhere. --Splaka 04:24, 8 June 2006 (UTC)
Hmm. Touché, Splaka. --Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~15:28, 8 June 2006 (UTC)


This page was created by Jack Mort with yours, Moneysigns and Katie's timestamps already on it.

Got anything to say about it??? --Suresh simple Swami A. Suresh 12:23, 10 June 2006 (UTC)

It was on my userpage, they both "voted", then i just copied and pasted it to wiki/ffs, that's why the stamps were already on it - jack mort | cunt | talkKodamaIcon - 17:01, 10 June 2006 (UTC)
Yah, he probably shoulda moved it, but nobody cares. --Splaka 02:28, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Remember MasterNinja5261?

This user has been blocked for a year for numerous occasions of vandalism. However, in an attempt to be able to contact him, it would seem you have protected his/her talk page. Could you unprotect this so the user can prove that they are not a ridiculous arse and are now ready to be released into the wild? Thanks. --The Rt. Hon. BarryC Icons-flag-gb MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 17:19, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

That user has never been blocked. However, as their IP range closely matches the crack vandal, the talk page was protected during the crack vandal's spree of being himself ^_^. However x 2, as user's can no longer edit their own talk pages, unprotecting it would serve no purpose. --Splaka 03:07, 12 June 2006 (UTC)


Hey, Splaka, I've seen you reply to the Ban Patrol page, but the page Babel:Pt/Chico_Xavier hasn't been restored to an older edit. Could you please restore it? Oh yeah and... Long live Chuck Norris. PS: I'm pretty sure that page ought to be blanked some more times.

Fixed, ? --Splaka 03:49, 13 June 2006 (UTC)


I created Syngman Rhee City. I thought Roh Moo-hyun City sounded better so that's why I pagemoved it. Since I'm the creator, it must be ok to pagemove it back to Roh Moo-hyun City. --Chomu 02:13, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Ok, we won't ban you for *that* one. Yet! </cabal> --Splaka 03:08, 13 June 2006 (UTC)
I hope this is a joke. Why did you say "Yet!"? What's the deal here? --Chomu 03:18, 13 June 2006 (UTC)
Well, even if you did make it, the admins (especially Ogopogo) often prefer a page to be at the correct title (notable exceptions are No Orleans) as the Wikipedia article, so it may get moved back at some point in the future. Although unless you got into a revert war over moving it back and forth you won't be banned for it. --Splaka 03:49, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Advanced formatting question

Just asked Codine and nice chap that he is suggested to ask you.

User:Usewho'sname?/bluescreen of death. Just been playing around with this. Is there a way of making it take up the entire screen as in the real Bluescreen of death? Then it could be added as a link to the userpage of someone who is contiually writing QuickVFD stuff. Or is it just me who thinks that would be funny.--Usewho'sname? 10:23, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Well, it *can* be done, but the question begets whether it *should* be done. Why don't you try to work it into a main page reskin, like Babel:Ap or Babel:APPL, then it will get a permanent home in the full screen reskin script (note that this is really the best way to try to get a custom css). I've modified your javascript so that you will see User:Usewho'sname?/bluescreen of death as full screen. When you have it finished, it can be considered for a reskin. I'll fix up the page a bit too. --Splaka 20:19, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Read my talkpage

Please The preceding unsigned comment was added by Pnatt (talk • contribs) 13 June 2006


se-L Thith uther thpeakth Simple English with a really thexy lithp.

Greetings! Shouldn't it better say "thekthy"? Krankman 09:47, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

Template:LangLevelText_L. --Splaka 23:59, 14 June 2006 (UTC)


I realized you deleted everythinng in Game:AAAAAAAAA!

That was really damn inconsiderate of you, considering that it was a pretty good game. Also, it was extensive and completed. I don't know what you mean by "parole" or something, but I don't think you should delete a 90-page game because of a Template: namespace thing. Also, that was Game: namespace, duh. Pine 21:13, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

Um, excuse me. If you are not Flameviper, don't interfere. If you are, you are evading a ban. --Splaka 00:02, 15 June 2006 (UTC)


Ok, this isn't that much of an award but you did help me with my css troubles, see User talk:Leon2323#skin. For that:

Newcookie Leon2323 has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Thanks by the way. --User:Leon2323/sig 19:53, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Cheap whore


Is that so? --Suresh simple Swami A. Suresh 07:00, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

If kei says it is so, it is. --Splaka 07:02, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

Messed up userpage

For some reason my userpage got really messed up. It's been fine since I created it, then today I went there and all the stuff that's supposed to be on the left side of the page is on the bottom. It's not the userpage that first shows up, it's this one. Please help. I asked Zombiebaron, and he/she/it told me to ask you.

How is that? --Splaka 04:55, 21 June 2006 (UTC)


I think you made a mistake on VFD. You reverted all the contributions after Mrthejazz, removed the now nominations, and brought back the archived discussions just to cross out his vote.

Note every vote after his vote was unsigned. I think you should revert your edit, unless there is a strict policy stating that all unsigned votes must be pointed out.

I won't revert you myself becase I don't want to tell an admin how to do his job, like I already accidentally did with Tompkins over here --Sbluen 06:02, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

Hmm. I guess I was editing the wrong version. All I did was open the current version (I thought) and searched for his comment to see if it was still there, and struck it out when I found it. It happens to the best of us though. Thanks for pointing that out. --Splaka 06:15, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
Haha, really, don't worry about that... I was just in a bad mood is all. I try to be a nice guy when I can... but I always end up scaring people off... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 06:27, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
It's okay, Tompkins. I only got a little bit scared because I saw the bottom rule in HowTo:Get Banned. That article is also probably where the IPs learned to vandalize 01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001, which you were probably getting annoyed about on the ban patrol. That article is a bad influence. --Sbluen 07:08, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
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