This user is on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is sporadical, back in business on WP. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.
The only page where you can cry, whine and scream and nobody cares.
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This is Special Cases's talk page, where you can send messages, comments, and pie to Special Cases. For a listing of unused images related to this topic, please see the image subpage.
Hello, Special Cases, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:
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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Special Cases/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.
If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! --Sycamore(Talk) 12:56, October 29, 2010 (UTC)
Hi there Special Cases, welcome to Uncyclopedia, I've noticed a few of your recent edits and I have some advice for you. First of all ease off trying to use things like QVFD, ban patrol and VFD until you have a grasp of how things work around here. If you jump in at the deep end you are going to cause a great deal of aggro for the people who maintain those pages and are active on them. My advice is that before you make any more edits to any of the pages above you read the associated instructions very very carefully, you may also wish to consider the adopt-a-noob programme which is aimed at new contributors to the site to prevent them getting into all the difficulties you are getting yourself into. We welcome your contribution to the wiki, but we need you to understand what is going on before you start contributing in this way. I hope this is understood. Welcome again. --ChiefjusticePS2 19:13, November 1, 2010 (UTC)
I think still I have a small grasp though. I have been CSDing articles on, always was on AIV and regularly took part in AfD's on Wikipedia. Which is all the same thing. SpecialCasesLOOK, A TALK PAGE!!!! 19:35, November 1, 2010 (UTC)
I see you have a grasp of how wikis work, but I have also noticed you don't have much of a grasp of the policies on this one, if you think you have mastered them in 3 days then you must tell me how as I have been here for close to 3 years and still don't have a full grasp of them all. We are very different from wikipedia especially with regard to our policies, templates and procedures. Ignorance is not an excuse for going against policy, so my advice is bite the bullet and do somereading to find out how we do things. Finally, you need to fix your sig, I have asked you to do it twice now, instructions for doing so can be found here and here. --ChiefjusticePS2 19:42, November 1, 2010 (UTC)
NO. I do it, the Wikipedia way.I just stole it from here. The way you do it is confusing. SpecialCasesLOOK, A TALK PAGE!!!! 19:50, November 1, 2010 (UTC)
Look, this matter isn't up for discussion, when you edit uncyclopedia you will abide by our rules regarding funny and editing generally, if you refuse to abide by the rules then you will not edit, it is as simple as that. Make up your mind. Fix your sig and abide by our policies or leave. --ChiefjusticePS2 19:55, November 1, 2010 (UTC)
Hey, I may be out of line here. But, Special Cases, I'll adopt you. If you want. -- 13:51, November 2, 2010 (UTC)
In fact, what about ChiefJustice adopt me? SpecialCasesLOOK, A TALK PAGE!!!! 15:56, November 2, 2010 (UTC)
I'm happy to adopt you if that's what you want, but you will have to be willing to listen and learn if that is the case, I don't want to have to fight a battle with you over every second thing. I'm thrilled that you have the grasp of what a wiki is and are enthusiastic about contributing to this one, you should by all means defend what you want to do, but you need to compromise at times as well. Let me know if you want to be adopted, there is no need to mention it on my talk page, I will know, I'm magic. --ChiefjusticePS2 17:49, November 2, 2010 (UTC)
Actually Chief, I'm magic. -- 15:41, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
Break it up NOW you two. It's my choice and at the moment the Chief is in the lead. Sorry Magic man :). SpecialCasesLOOK, A TALK PAGE!!!! 15:46, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
Oh no! I wasn't fighting over you. I was just giving Chief the facts. -- 15:49, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
Too late. I have already posted on his talk page. SpecialCasesLOOK, A TALK PAGE!!!! 15:51, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
But didn't he say not to do that? -- 16:17, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
I meant don't post to say you have replied. --ChiefjusticePS2 16:19, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
Oh.... I knew that.... *cough* *cough* *smiles uncertainty, then dashes off*. -- 16:28, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
I have declared war against Wikipedia and I was blocked. To make sure this is official, Chief, post on this admins talk page that this is official and say that you are a admin on here. SpecialCasesLOOK, A TALK PAGE!!!! 16:37, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
This isn't a way for you to have a fight with a wikipedia admin, what they do is their business and they have a policy there for being unbanned. You are here to do things for uncyc, not enlist us as part of a "war" against them. He also seems to be a fairly reasonable bloke from what I can see. --ChiefjusticePS2 16:46, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
Alright, alright. Can we get on with the adoption now or what? SpecialCasesLOOK, A TALK PAGE!!!! 16:52, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
But sometimes it works a little better to use the show preview button instead of making a lot of small edits, especially to things like your userpage or folks' talkpages.
I say this because your constant revisioning was getting a mite annoying during my obsessive-compulsive hovering over recent changes this morning.
Well, okay, that's not the real reason; while that's why I noticed, it's just good practice in general. Considerate to those with the page in question on their watchlists, more efficient, better in terms of flounder consumption, that kind of thing. And don't forget, for minor edits, there's this nice little checkbox. It's labelled 'minor edit'.
Anyhoo, I'm not trying to be annoying... this time. Just hope it helps. Cheers. ~*shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101104 - 02:15 (UTC)
also testing my signature TheRasIsBack! 03:14, November 4, 2010 (UTC).
Very good! Right, get that signature the right way up boy! What you have to do is create User:TheRasIsBack/sig, then copy and paste the current version onto that page. Contact my master if you want more info. Good luck for now. Oh, and stay away from UN:VFD, QuickVFD and ban patrol. I had total defeat try to huff a page called 12 year olds invading the Internet.SpecialCasestalk /sign 16:16, November 4, 2010 (UTC)
Are not yours, so refreain from edit them please. Thanks. ~ 21:38, November 4, 2010 (UTC)
The Chiefs page? I'm very sure Chief won't mind. He (that you have incompetently not noticed) is my adopter. SpecialCasestalk /sign 15:52, November 5, 2010 (UTC)
No, I meant TheRasIsBack's user page, not talk page. One more thing, you got a polite request and you managed to answer to that simple request with somewhat of a shitty attitude. I strongly recommend that if you intend to stay here and become a productive member of this site you lose the attitude swiftly. ~ 16:56, November 5, 2010 (UTC)
You are being incomptent again. I said you may mean the Chief's user page and you come up saying TheRasIsBack's talk page. I don't think he would possibly care either, seeming the (now former) notice on there. Also you say I am using a rather shitty attitude. To me a shitty attitude would be saying something like:OH YOU DUMB IDIOT HAHAHAHA YOU DIDNT NOTICE THE POSTINGS ABOVE,STUPID. Would I ever use that language? Please, I am stating a fact here; that you are being a rather control freak and you have no policies in front of you that states I cannot edit anyone elses user page. SpecialCasestalk /sign 17:21, November 5, 2010 (UTC)
When you'll return from your block you'd want to reconsider this reponse again. ~ 17:32, November 5, 2010 (UTC)
I was just having a quick read through your article, and it isn't too bad at all. However it isn't really going anywhere and the joke is over pretty quickly; I'd suggest you try attempting to communicate some point to the reader rather than simply writing nonsense and occasionally throwing in a relevant word or link. What I mean by this is that instead of starting with "I was can't go to endorse documents If I had the wings of a sparrow if I had P R's of the crime of violence" you could start with something like "Always wondered lie voice recognition loft stare is useless? Well worry no linger as I will be your slide to finding out why, in fact I'm so fart I have decided to write this particle using a piece of this waft bear." Notice the difference? There is an obvious structure to the second one which is almost immediately apparent. You could work on developing this idea through the article and could try using a piece of voice recognition software to come up with good replacements for words, in my example I just used words that are minor homophones of the initial phrase, but if you use a piece of software then it would make your life easier. You could even record an audio of the article either with you saying what the article is meant to say, or you could rewrite the article so it is like any other and then record a different version in an audio. There is a lot you can do with this concept so I'd really recommend that you keep working at it. --ChiefjusticePS2 17:03, November 8, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks, i'll do that, but I would like to say that I did use Windows voice recognition software. SpecialCasestalk /sign 17:06, November 8, 2010 (UTC)
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the Rebels attained victory over the Imperial Empire and the last UnSignpost flopped onto talk pages. The drought came as Under user announced that he had a life to be getting on with, and at that point the UnSignpost simply stopped writing itself. Some people have suggested that these two events may be linked somehow, but until we see proof, we have resolved to live in ignorance. However as we hurtle towards the end of the year it would seem the magic has returned and the newspaper that confusingly contains neither news or paper will once again be arriving on talk pages weeklymonthlyannually whenever we can manage it.
Newer recipients of the UnSignpost are urged to suggest ideas for stories in the press room; this helps as it means we don't need to pay attention to anything you people do every day. For now, please welcome the UnSignpost back into your homes and hearts... please?
For those of you who may be unfamiliar with The Article Whisperer, permit me to clear the waters somewhat with this bit of text I have, at great personal risk, copied off the competition page. It is: "An annual writing competition held by Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles",
which I think we can all agree is absolutely splendid. Unfortunately, all our intrepid journalists were saving Kittens from trees and generally performing heroic deeds when the competition took place, but that won't stop us from talking about it. Lyrithya and Matfen were the biggest winners, or losers depending on how you look at it, each being Grand Champion of two categories.
Competition founder MadMax was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, so we have made something up instead: "The competition was a great success and I would like to thank everyone who took part; especially ChiefjusticeDS who is absolutely fantastic and whom I owe many drinks", he might have said. The Article Whisperer is expected to take place again next year, and MadMax might have said "Take part or die", but probably not.
Few competitions stir the loins more than The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, self described as Uncyclopedia's festival of frivolity and bad taste. The competition has three categories:
The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball
Best Bad Taste Article
The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery
If you aren't a writer (we are led to believe some people are not), then 3 Judges are needed for each of the above categories (see here). Seriously, this will be so much fun you will wish we did it twice a year... maybe. The competition opens on November 19th, so put on a stout pair of writing trousers and get going!
16:29, November 10, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 seconds (You're reviving the Signpost? Good luck! Now to think of a witty ban reason to get me in the "From Our Logs" section. Penis. That ought to do it. It would if I was editing it.)
04:27, November 10, 2010 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.181.83.75 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Normally you'd probably be reading a witty message from an admin. Obviously, I'm not one of those admins. Gotta tell you, you're missing out.)
10:36, November 9, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.42.244.217 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (List 350 reasons why I should care about your birthday, and I'll reverse the ban.)
08:10, November 10, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked EatPoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 Days (Alas, dear sir, you are afflicted with the stupid)
16:31, November 10, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 years (Stop being supposedly here and BE HERE. YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART)
Biopic of the Week
Do you hear that? Thought not, because this week we are taking a closer look at one of Uncyclopedia's true unsung heroes, Black flamingo. He has awhopping12.5featurecredits; that's more than 5 feature credits and 6 feature credits put together! Not only that, but Black flamingo has been instrumental in keeping Pee Review afloat while you weren't. Respect this man immediately or I will punch a Zebra, that's how committed I am to getting him recognised. Head over to his talk page right now and doff your helm. Now, dammit! Don't make me fetch the Zebra.
Old-school featured article of the week
The term "Paul is dead" (PID) refers to an urban legend or a hoax perpetrated either on the musical group The Beatles by their fans or vice-versa.
According to the legend, bass guitarist and singer Paul McCartney was replaced by a lookalike after his alleged death in an auto accident in the mid-60s. Proponents of this hoax cite obscure clues embedded within the Beatles' lyrics, symbolism in their album covers, and Wings as evidence that the "real" Paul didn't survive into the 1970s.
This manuscript reveals the full chilling truth. I've read it, and it will blow your tiny mind.
SC, I see that you're intent on not fixing your sig following this last ban of yours. So let's put it in simple terms - you've now already managed to get on three separate admins' bad side. Non of us have a particular need to come back and ask you time after time after time but you keep forcing our hand. But since we're all nice people I'll do it one last time. FIX. YOUR. SIG. Read UN:SIG and act accordingly. Read BGBU and HTBFANJS. Don't create on liners, put some effort into your articles. Don't blank anything, for whatever reason. I hope that this is the last time an admin we'll need to ask you to do something. If you don't know how to do it, you can ask and someone will help you. --~ 20:00, November 11, 2010 (UTC)
SC, I think you've missed what is BP all about. Posting any IP that places a line that is not as funny as the rest of the article or changing the odd comma does not make him a vandal. Please stop flooding BP. Also, if you think it's a vandal (and I mean that you're REALLY sure it's a vandal) undo the damage and then report it to BP. Don't leave it as is.
As a more general point, I'm not sure what you intend to contribute to Uncyclopedia. If you're here for the maintnenace work, that's fine, but you need to learn how this place works before you import various scripts from Wikipedia (which the majority wouldn't work here anyway) and learn how we work this place. We are NOT wikipedia and the etiquette and way of working here is fundementally different. Take the time to read BGBU which I suspect you didn't yet. ~ 16:35, November 14, 2010 (UTC)
Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is.
Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought.
If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea.
The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be!
Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood!
The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room.
Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have.
05:54, November 14, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked POPEYE FUCK U UP (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (1) You suck. 2) Stop sucking.)
06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.)
17:01, November 12, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.109.64.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days (I'll have some gay porn if you're going to the shop)
3:32, November 14, 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.0.147.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (I'M HAVING A FRIENDSHIP ANEURYSM)
Biopic of the Week
Know who it is yet? Know what time they were last here? No? Then you should probably be able to guess that this week we are looking at Aleister in Chains. Al has been hanging around Uncyclopedia for just under a year now, and in that time has picked up 25 feature credits and has earned the eternal hatred of many for his enduring good humour and incredibly annoying signature timestamps. If Aleister hasn't been responsible for a single one of your chuckles over the last year then you need to start reading some ofhis articles, that or cancel your afternoon appointments as you have died and failed to notice.
I wouldn't recommend you post on his talk page or look at his user page as they are both just plain weird, offer respect, but don't doff your helm, you never know what might end up in it.