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| Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia|
This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They
should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.
I'm glad you found the review helpful. If you need any help on the article just drop me a line on my talk page. I'm still pretty much a noob myself, but I can steal ideas from other articles with the best of them. Also, if you're having trouble with any part of Uncyclopedia, the adopt a noob program has done wonders for me. You can find it here. --—John Lydon 12:33, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
edit Hope you don't mind
I made a minor change to your user page, to whore my own pitiful effort at an article about the smartest man in the world. I hope you don't mind. If you do, that's tough titties. I'm an admin, and I'm reviewing your article right now... your Uncyc life is in my hands. heh heh heh heh... Cheers! Get saved! 03:30, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
edit Welcome to UnNews
|On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you.|
Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Get saved! 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Welcome to UnNews, SonOfPhyllis, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
edit Mercy move
I mercy-moved your UnNews story here to your user space because it's pretty awful. Check out my welcoming drivel above to get an idea of what kind of "standards" we try to uphold. We're about projecting a news-like image (with exceptions, if done "right", but many of us don't dare to push that boundary too much), so we try to make our stories newsy-looking, at least. Columns and things like that are more flexible. This story would be fine if it were well written, somewhat the way a journalist would write it.
Anyway, I'm being long-winded here. Read a few stories, get a feel for the place, find a comfy chair... and do try again if you like. I know for a fact that you're funny. If you need some help, do ask me, maybe get yourself adopted with the adopt-a-noob thingy. I have a certain amount of hope for you. I hope you don't discourage easily. Cheers! Get saved! 02:44, June 20, 2010 (UTC)