User talk:Simsilikesims

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This is Simsilikesims's talk page, where you can send messages, comments, and pie to Simsilikesims.
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Wikia issue

All these talk pages are going blank!                               Puppy's talk page03:03 30 Oct 2013

Well, this one isn't blank anymore, thanks to you. I just archived my page. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:23, October 30, 2013 (UTC)

Blank section

Just blank



Almost blank




The Blank Section is a mix between a computer-painting, a collage and simple plagiarism. This artwork belongs to the neo-obvious movement but critics agree that several of its aspects are rather neo-ambiguous. The artwork is characterized by its concept and technique which are similar to those of Malevich's black square (oh, Malevich's Black Square, I apologize, that's the sixth review I am writing today). But, what makes it neo-ambiguous as well, is the fact that its simple structure and its title which represent artist's main ideas are not as simple as they seem to be, and the content reflects artist's thoughts as well, whilst neo-obvious art normally conveys a simple understanding of a classic, in this case, definitely Kasimir Malevich.


I love this picture. Or artwork, whatever. I mean, I am not even a professional critic.

So, back to our blankness, it is actually a very ambiguous piece of art. At first sight, artist's ideas are obvious: he wanted to parody our society, which tries to be productive and effective, and is in fact blank. Just blank. However, it evolves and becomes blank, not just blank, but blank with something, and at the same time still blank. I mean that's obvious, you don't have to be a critic to understand that kind of stuff. And then it becomes Almost Blank (sorry for quoting the artist)! This actually conveys hope, hope that humans are becoming more sensible! Anyone who calls this artwork pessimistic is just ... pessimist.

So, I love it. I want to buy this painting. I want to hang it in my living-room and look at it, when I am feeling tired, feeling lonely, or when I have nothing else to do. And to buy it at a lower price, I will have to give it a bad mark.

The analysis and the review have been completed by N.E.D.Ottt.
The artwork was made by Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:34, October 30, 2013 (UTC)

Interview for the UnSignpost

Notice: This question will be part of the interview between you and someone who started it. This interview, if completed, may be subject to copyright used for publication. However, if you do not want to see your answers published, close your eyes while typing. If you do not know how to respond, you are allowed to bring your lawyer.
  • Journalist: Hi, Sims! You are probably aware of the fact that you are the only active administrator of Uncyclopedia, who is subscribed to our newspaper. Do you have any explanation for this? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:20, October 30, 2013 (UTC)
No, but I'm sure the other admins do! I do have one theory however - the other admins visit subscribers' pages often enough to read the UnSignposts posted to other peoples' pages. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:24, October 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • Other Admin in Trench Coat: I get my copy off the news-stand, thank you. Spıke Ѧ 22:28 30-Oct-13
  • Journalist: Clever! Now, do you think that reading our newspaper increases the chances of a user becoming and administrator? Or maybe diminishes them? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:43, October 31, 2013 (UTC)
Definitely not an admin Only if it gives tips for giving better oral sex.                               Puppy's talk page12:06 31 Oct 2013
  • Journalist: The previous question remains open, in case you would like to respond. Thanks, Pup.
The next question is supposed to be only for Sims, but if you really want to, you are allowed to respond: Simsie, would you like to be called administress? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:11, October 31, 2013 (UTC)
No, because I was under the impression that administrator is a unisex term. Besides, administress just sounds odd. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 08:33, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
Some odd user Oh... can I be called a useress?
On second thought, admistress does have a nice ring to it. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 13:52, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
Adminatrix?                               Puppy's talk page02:07 01 Nov 2013
  • Journalist: Adminecraft?
Nah, tried Minecraft once, but just ended up digging myself into a hole. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 14:35, November 2, 2013 (UTC)
When you were a child, did you wish to become a user on Uncyclopedia? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:04, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
When I was a child, the internet as we know it did not yet exist; TCP/IP protocols had not been standardized and the internet was not publicly available. However, I did like the idea of becoming an author, and even wrote one children's book of my own when I was in grade school. Well ok, I ripped off the first half of the story, then made up the second half because I couldn't remember the rest of the story. There was also another one I wrote, but that one wasn't much good. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 18:45, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Journalist: You mean that I do not know when the Internet was invented?! I really do: it was during the second half of the 18th century!
Concerning the books, did you ask anyone to read them? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:24, November 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Passing Star Trek Fan: Let me guess, Journalist: Invented by a team of Russian scientists. Just outside Leningrad. Spıke Ѧ 12:41 2-Nov-13
  • Passing Futuristic Looking Russian:I am looking for a nuclear wessel although apparently Russians can actually say nuclear vessel and that it is Romans who can't but this is an American stereotype of a European nation so give it a bit of leniancy. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:17, November 2, 2013 (UTC)
Will a gasoline and oil-burning model with a "Star Fleet Academy" sticker on it do? I'll trade it to you in exchange for a brand new model. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 14:32, November 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Journalist: Would you sell it to me for free? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:01, November 5, 2013 (UTC)
    F.O.B. Seattle, I reckon. (Translation: Come and get it.) Spıke Ѧ 19:10 5-Nov-13
    Afraid not - it has sentimental value - I've had it for 18 years. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:12, November 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • Journalist: It also has a sentimental value for me. I've dreamed of it for 18 years. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:14, November 5, 2013 (UTC)
    Well, if your dream is to spend more than it is worth in salvage value on maintenance, I'll keep you in mind next time I can afford a replacement. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:18, November 5, 2013 (UTC)

Constantly changing and not evolving newspaper - the UnSignpost

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:27, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Sizzling meat on VFD

Wilford "God" Brimley and Visual kei richly deserve your 5th vote. Spıke Ѧ 22:17 1-Nov-13


Where do you reckon this arrived from? In one gulp, after uploading all its illustrations, and with a few red-links because our pages don't match their pages? And with a Change Summary by which brand-new user Opples ond bononas screams, look at me! Spıke Ѧ 03:14 4-Nov-13

This certainly wasn't copied from the current copy on the Uncyclopedia mirror, and its style vaguely resembles an ED article. However, ED is down right now, so I cannot check to see if it is a match. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:29, November 4, 2013 (UTC)
Can't get to google cache from mobile, but from GS the ED version is, in part “... psychotic fandom that gets more attention than it deserves. ... Since the typical APH fan has the attention span of a four year old, ..... Mary Sues out of countries not represented in Hetalia yet.” Not the same text and I can't locate this elsewhere online. I'd be inclined to {{ICU}} it anyway, as it's typical fanboy rant with no real humour.
Wayback machine might turn up some other results though.                               Puppy's talk page07:26 04 Nov 2013


This article, which you've been involved in, got some good clean-up today by brand-new user Poko, but probably wants some continuing oversight to make sure it doesn't become a forum for EDiots to complain about their fortunes there. Spıke Ѧ 21:09 5-Nov-13

You seem to be the last admin floating about at the moment, so...

Could you replace Template:VFSrules/rules with the text from Template:VFSrules/rules2? (Admin protected).                               Puppy's talk page09:59 07 Nov 2013

She must have stopped floating about and have drifted off. This is now done. Spıke Ѧ 10:28 7-Nov-13
Thanks.                               Puppy's talk page10:46 07 Nov 2013


I agree with you on removing {{India}} from the end of Islam. This reverts a change made in January by InMooseWeTrust, who also expanded the template to a lot of things that are found in India, but that no one would associate with India, for the express purpose of making a statement about India that might incidentally be funny. There is more on his talk page. Spıke Ѧ 10:18 7-Nov-13

Deletion drop-down menu

It's okay to re-add those entries, but would you please make them more explicit and less an advertisement of a particular (non-policy) page? An author whose work we delete as meme-cruft (which might not have used Chuck Norris) ought to see a clearer explanation than that we are "de-Chucking" it. Spıke Ѧ 21:45 7-Nov-13


Puppy is bugging me to get VFD moving again! You could be Vote Number 5 to send Invisia and Tunisia to the United Nations of Huffed Articles. Spıke Ѧ 20:56 8-Nov-13


Of your post-edits at HTBFANJS, the only one I have a problem with is restoring the "giraffes and bathtubs" sentence. It is sort of bitchy and doesn't teach the noob anything except what a hard life Admins have.

The reason for today's edits is Romartus's observation (on his talk page) that we needed an HTBFANJS Lite, which suggested that regular HTBFANJS is still too big, and my observation that the old authors put too much of themselves into the article, cleverly showing examples of the rules they were stating, and even how they were clever enough to violate the rules they were stating. Section 3 is still huge, and the repetition about repetition is too massive for the cutesy point it's making. Spıke Ѧ 20:56 8-Nov-13

I restored the "giraffes and bathtubs" sentence because it makes the point that one longer article is better than a series of several one-liner articles, which will get deleted. Not that it is that much work to delete unless they say, make 200 or so of them before we ban them. If you think you can word this point better, feel free to do so. I always liked the illustrative example of repetition about repetition, and thought the colors were a cute way of making this point just slightly less repetitive. Anytime we list things not to do, the list is going to be huge; I don't see any way of getting around this. I think giving the novice writer several technniques of what TO do to balance this out is useful. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:29, November 8, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the clarification; I've got text that should be clearer than "spamming the index." Spıke Ѧ 21:35 8-Nov-13

Hmm, colors, so that's what those <SPAN>s were there for....On making 200 pages, I have really grown fond of Special:Nuke. Spıke Ѧ 21:40 8-Nov-13

I have done some more edits to move and consolidate things. The only other place I would cut is the first two bullets of Section 7. The first bullet contains a list of relatively minor annoyances that should be covered by the general rules. The second bullet (the three examples) just doesn't explain what is bad about the first and good about the last. Spıke Ѧ 00:48 9-Nov-13

Worst songs to play at a funeral

It went to the main page! You get half credit! Spıke Ѧ 11:30 9-Nov-13

God's deleted contributions

Thanks for the criticism, and I've polished it up so most of the run-on sentences have been fixed. The long one in the intro is on purpose, kind of like a ride, but even that was polished and cut into two. You have assisted the article greatly, mucho thanks. Aleister 12-11

Ok, that changes my vote. Thanks for your hard work on the article. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:11, November 12, 2013 (UTC)
Thank you! That's what I miss about reviews, the feedback, and you made me work like a dog. Thanks again, Aleister 12-11


I have blocked Epicgenius for 1 day; attitude. You can see on his talk page how Mimo, I and others, tried to help him, notably about creating a signature file (he did act on the bit about taking the link to his Wikipedia persona out of his signature) and trying small stuff before making ill-advised edits at Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia. He even showed enthusiasm for saving Gabon from VFD, and promised to look at UNQUOTE--two minutes before going to Moscow with some of the same quotecruft. Spıke Ѧ 01:36 15-Nov-13

I probably would've banned him for just long enough to look at UNQUOTE - ie about 20 minutes. But what's done is done. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:58, November 15, 2013 (UTC)

It might have taken him only those two minutes. But the point was not for him to read it; the point was that he promised and didn't, or didn't heed it. One day has a little sting. Spıke Ѧ 02:17 15-Nov-13

Procrastination has its price. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:27, November 15, 2013 (UTC)
This may be one of the cases where leaving him alone would have been better. He signed up on the site, did a couple edits, and within a short time he was being given assignments, advice, criticism, etc., and now banned??? If that had happened to me I might have left the place on the first day. Have you looked at his Wikipedia page, he's more here than there, and has or had great potential. Banning a potentially good user on their first day may be overkill, let's hope he's the type who takes it as a learning curve and sticks around.. Aleister 15-11

Leda Bort and Ayumu Nishizawa are mostly left alone to their individual experimentation. (I did try to introduce them to one another.) BetterSkatez2012 is editing manically with horrible capitalization and composition but generally happy to reside in userspace. It may be that one invites more pressure by naming himself Epicgenius; but the quotecruft was just the latest of a series of eager agreements to correct things that he simply walked away from and continued apace. Spıke Ѧ 15:05 15-Nov-13

Maybe, but he seemed interested and had just gotten here, so the learning curve may be in his future if he decides to stick it out. He may or may not have had problems at wikpedia, I haven't checked his edit history there. Aleister 15-11

Milwaukee Bucks

Hey, this is the guy who originally created the Milwaukee Bucks article as a redirect. Since you put it on ICU, I thought I'd let you know that I did some work on the article to move it past the state it was in. At the very least, it no longer seems like it was written by a 7th grade Bulls fan. It's not a 100% rewrite, but it is the first crack at an article I've ever made. Let me know if I made it less suckish. Spacehopper (talk) 08:16, November 16, 2013 (UTC)

It is sufficiently less suckish to have {{ICU}} removed, although it would be nice if it were developed further to be less dependent on the triple memes of shit, fuck, and Nobody Cares. The other contributor complied with my request to substitute a shoop that didn't look like vandalism of the original logo; Simsie's ICU complaint of listiness is completely resolved, and there are actually some funny new lines. I've also posted to each contributor separately. Spacehopper, the ideal is to make the article exactly resemble something a reader would find on Wikipedia — until the reader digs in and starts to think about what he just read. Happy editing! Spıke Ѧ 10:08 16-Nov-13

Ikea monkey man

Regarding that stub in your userspace we were working on last night: Anon has edited File:MonkeyMan.png with the vague claim that it is cyberbullying; Shunter2000 has cleaned out his locker; I banned Anon for trolling; but it may be that the initial page was designed to make fun of a local bum who peers into Ikea stores, and if we keep your stub, it ought to be deliberately generic and wide of the truth. Spıke Ѧ 22:24 16-Nov-13


User Ladoochampion reverted you and continued on, and I will not Patrol it but leave it to you to review the changes. Spıke Ѧ 14:42 1-Dec-13

By the time user Ladoochampion returns from my ban of him (even after I reduced it to two days), the increased protection you gave this page will not have any effect on him! Spıke Ѧ 21:49 2-Dec-13

You are right, but at least it should deter him from committing ban evasion and/or sockpuppetry to edit the article. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:55, December 2, 2013 (UTC)

King Biscuit

Separately, I got the notion to mistake the King Biscuit Flower Hour radio show for a bit of the British royalty, mostly consisting of a creative misreading of the Wikipedia article. I asked Romartus for added color, but he had never heard of the show. Perhaps you were a fan of it and can take it in additional directions. Spıke Ѧ 22:07 2-Dec-13

I cannot say that I have ever heard of this radio show either. Most of my radio listening is to music, mostly of the pop and rock variety, rather than to radio talk shows and the like. This sounds like children's programming to me, but I would have to do some investigating. I don't think any of our radio stations here in Western Washington state currently play this radio show, and I have no idea if they even have in the past. My car stereo has been missing for the last 7 years or so, so I don't listen to much radio anymore; one year the stereo was stolen both at work, then at home, and both times the car window was more expensive to replace than the stereo, so to avoid replacing the window again, I simply decided not to replace the stereo. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:16, December 2, 2013 (UTC)

No one "currently" plays this radio show, as the dates in this article are authentic. It is a vintage piece of Sunday programming that played pieces of pre-recorded concerts with a disc jockey in-between. The only really amusing thing is the name. Spıke Ѧ 22:21 2-Dec-13

Final Fantasy I

Hello. The redundant description for "HARM" was meant to be another kind of joke, based on pleonasms rather than acronyms, with the intent of making the reader think of how naming a spell that's meant to harm "Harm" is redundant in the first place. Kinda like if they had named a spell "SPEL"-- That would have been silly. I meant it to be satyrical.

The list is already full of acronym jokes. I thought it could use some variety is all. I beg you to mind that humor is subjective, but that if we use the same kind of jokes over and over again, then only the same kind of person laughs. Thank you. --DreadfulPunMaster (talk) 07:08, December 3, 2013 (UTC)

I can see why she reverted it: To a typically inept list of acronyms (and in the context of the growing disfavor of inept lists noted at How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid), you added an item that is not just in disharmony but — in being redundant and, of course, repeating it an extra time — seems inept. No one minds that a given article have several different types of humor, but there is an issue if it is attempted in a single list or paragraph; for example, if someone writes a paragraph meant to be pseudo-intellectual and Anon comes along and adds references to grues and paedophiles. So: Your humor is decent, it might better be inserted somewhere other than in the list, and there is a bigger problem with the original list — which, to make a point that the game has a lot of dumb spells, winds up telling the same joke over again. Spıke Ѧ 11:43 3-Dec-13

Well, Simslikesims's revert came with the description "this is a humor wiki - it is not to be taken seriously)". It doesn't seem to me like she got the point and made a judgement on the quality of my joke, but rather, that she thought I was being literal for the sake of stating facts... but why I just barge in here and replace jokes with facts?

For one, I disagree that my item is inept. The redundancy of the description is the very core of the joke attempted: It's meant to exacerbate the redundancy of the spell name. I also disagree that it is in disharmony as the list does not consist strictly of acronyms, it consists of a lot of acronyms along with many other varied kinds of jokes, including some of which that play on the literal intepretation of the spell name like I did. (ie: PURE, RUB, WALL, EXIT and FAST). I meant to add to the variety of the styles that was already present. So I believe my change can only be seen negative from a subjective point of view, that is: Whether or not one gets a laugh from it. I certainly for one didn't get more laughs from yet another far fetched acronym, but I chuckled when I read the spell name and the joke came to me. With all this considered, I don't think whether one thinks it's funny enough to stay should be in question.

Sorry, I don't mean to make such a big deal over a single line. I wouldn't have usually, but in this case I'm pretty confused as to why my contribution was invalidated. I hope you understand. --DreadfulPunMaster (talk) 06:01, December 5, 2013 (UTC)

We hash stuff to death here all the time, and this is by far the least drama of recent issues. I didn't say you wrote ineptly but that this list item "seems inept" with its repetition, by way of explaining why it might have been reverted. The Change Summary does seem to be off the point and, looking at the diff, I see that she did not remove your new item on HARM at all: just removed the humor. With apologies to all, I will revert back to your version. Spıke Ѧ 14:16 5-Dec-13

Thanks Spike. I really appreciate your understanding! --DreadfulPunMaster (talk) 18:26, December 5, 2013 (UTC)

I will admit I didn't get the joke you were trying to add here. Sorry about the misunderstanding. We do have new people and IP's come along and try to replace humor with facts from time to time, and I thought this was one of those instances. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:29, December 5, 2013 (UTC)


Do you agree that Ayumu's new illustration (apart from coding and grammar issues) detracts just like a Motivational Poster? Do you know where she got it? Spıke Ѧ 14:50 3-Dec-13

A search under autism symptoms chart brought up this result:
but the picture appears to be modified to add minecraft, which is a game that apparently is enjoyed by numerous autistic kids. They even have their own server. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 18:47, December 3, 2013 (UTC)

I thought that one (and its typeface) looked fishy. But that is a lot of visual material in which to hunt for one joke. I still think that it detracts. But Ayumu (like Epicgenius) is an enthusiastic new user despite no demonstrated ability to actually write funny stuff. I most recently scolded her for her recent infatuation with our junk Categories and don't want to make her go away. Just the illustration. Spıke Ѧ 18:59 3-Dec-13

Fresh meat

We have a brand new set of tedious reads for you on Votes for deletion. Also, come visit User talk:Dorkadorkreece regarding a revert war. Spıke Ѧ 00:17 7-Dec-13

Dear simsilikesims

I would like to kindly ask you to take you your close minded pointless homophobic stupid fucking opinions and shove them up your Harry ass. Why don't you get out of your moms basement and see what the real world is like. You back woods hillbilly motherfucker, it's time you find out how actual humanity works. If you have no Idea what your talking about then maybe you shouldn't post it on the Internet!!!! So shut the fuck up about what you think "emo" is an get back to righting about your 40 cats and the bible. Thank you vary much you asshole!!! Get a life

~Sincerely every one who read your shitty article The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

User has been banned for the above post Spıke Ѧ 04:25 9-Dec-13
Thanks, Spike. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:07, December 9, 2013 (UTC)

The Heavy

Uncyclopedian Pemnan reminds me that he is editing his own article (rather than vandalizing someone else's, as I had thought) (but does so with incivility that merits a one-day ban). I am not a Team Fortress player and am not sure of my impression that he is not writing to the general reader, or perhaps to anyone other than himself, and that his recent edit was not an improvement in any case. So I would like to dump this article in your lap. Spıke Ѧ 22:44 9-Dec-13

I haven't played Team Fortress yet (was too tired to bother after spending a full hour downloading it), but hats are indeed part of the game. Steam is a game engine that it runs on, if you have a PC, or possibly even a Linux machine. Fixed up some minor stuff, but it does look like a legitimate reworking of the article. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:03, December 10, 2013 (UTC)
Is the article accessible to someone not familiar with the game? (I got bored reading it, but that may just be me.)                               Puppy's talk page12:06 am 10 Dec 2013
Most of the humor seems to be centered around in-game jokes, which I only got one of (like the thing about the hats, which I knew about from just downloading the game). I too found myself bored with it, but found the story interesting as a story, just not particularly humorous. One of these days I should actually play the game so I can add some more accessible humor. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:13, December 10, 2013 (UTC)
"....bored with it...found the story interesting...just not particularly humorous." Yikes! At any rate, thank you for spending the time on this. Spıke Ѧ 00:21 10-Dec-13

100 worst looking better already but I think we'll need to change the name to 100 worst things to say and do at work. That seems to be where we're heading, anyway. --Sog1970 (talk) 14:54, December 12, 2013 (UTC)

That's okay with me, but separately, drop the "100" as we did with Worst songs to play at a funeral. That takes the pressure off both us and Anon to pad it out to 100, or worst of all, have endless edit-wars over the number-one spot. Spıke Ѧ 15:01 12-Dec-13

Who said 'late'?

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:24, December 17, 2013 (UTC)

Fort Lee

A brand-new Uncyclopedian has deposited this adequate article in a single gulp and with red-links. But it doesn't seem to be previously voted for deletion. What up with this?

The first contribution of new user Ross Hill was work in the Template space, with dishonest Change Summaries, whose effect seems to be to put a 5000-pixel swastika on all our Presidents pages, and I have banned him for 1 year.

Your new UnNews needs a Source, if there really was a study linking denomination with bra size, or some other story that you are reporting this way. Otherwise, I don't get the point, except that someone is touting Christianity. I would expect both bra size and waist size to be larger in the case of Mormons. Spıke Ѧ 22:53 19-Dec-13

I'll look into the Fort Lee article, and see if it is on the mirror. I added the source which inspired me, as well as Conservapedia. Admittedly, I went to Conservapedia first for inspiration, and found articles there relating obesity and depression to lack of religion. So I looked up the source, and found this article in a psychological journal about religion and self-control. So theoretically, depression and obesity are "controllable" by simple willpower, according to Conservapedia. To illustrate how dumb I found this, I wrote the UnNews you see here. Mormons and Catholics were left out of the "study" for the reason you mention - having babies tends to result in larger waist and larger bust. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:08, December 19, 2013 (UTC)

Doesn't mean they might not find a place in your UnNews. I just added a note on Muslims. Perhaps the photo at Well-endowed, even in its current censored condition, could make a point about the study's results.

On the underlying facts, I agree that self-control is not soluble by simple will power; that is, for consequences of bad self-control, better self-control is not a useful recommendation. Nevertheless, a lot of personal problems are solved by better self-control. Spıke Ѧ 23:15 19-Dec-13

PS - Fort Lee is not on mirror Uncyc but it is on the fork, which appears to be where the bulk of it was written. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:14, December 19, 2013 (UTC)

Please do the reader the favor of using {{Conservapedia}} in the UnNews to help us follow your tracks! Spıke Ѧ 23:25 19-Dec-13

The conservapedia template doesn't seem to play well with multi-word titles, so I added Conservapedia as a source instead. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:19, December 20, 2013 (UTC)
It does not play well; the template help apologizes for the fact that you have to use underlines instead of spaces. I got it to link. Spıke Ѧ 00:33 20-Dec-13

Also: Why St. Louis? Spıke Ѧ 23:40 19-Dec-13

I was trying to think of a heavily conservative town in the Midwest and this was the only Midwestern town that came to mind, though whether it is conservative is seriously in doubt. I wanted someplace in Arkansas or North Dakota, but could not think of any cities there. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:02, December 20, 2013 (UTC)

Separately, I don't like today's new aimless listcruft at HowTo:Destroy the Universe‎‎, even after your corrections. Spıke Ѧ 23:48 19-Dec-13

Much of the article consists of shorter bulleted lists. This one happens to be longer, more random (unless you count the Ilamas and Batman theme in it), and more bizarre, in fact so bizarre as to be funny. I considered reverting the edit but decided that since the events made some sense in sequence (though none by themself) and were original, to let it stand for now. Delete the section if you think it is that terrible. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:09, December 20, 2013 (UTC)
Sigh! and VFD is nearly full. You're right, it's hardly the worst thing on the page. Spıke Ѧ 00:14 20-Dec-13


Be free to edit my page.

Pee Reviews

I saw you doing some wonderful reviews and would like to inform you that, according to wishes expressed at Forum:Peer review lite, the reviews have now a different format. This should not make a big difference for you, if you are going to continue to write complete (not Lite) reviews, but the template looks different and the scoring is optional. There is also another option for reviewing, Lite, which allows you just to leave several comments on the article without looking at all its aspects. To summarize the ideas, if you are interested in what happened and if you have time, you can do one or two reviews (of any kind). Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:05, December 25, 2013 (UTC)

Yesterday, this guy edited three articles having to do with cable TV. They dabble in pre-existing lists and they don't do much for me, but as they deal with popular culture (whereas I specialize in unpopularity), perhaps you should take a look. Spıke Ѧ 13:35 28-Dec-13

I only get Economy cable, non-HD stations, so my experience with cable TV is limited, but I will take a look. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 07:35, December 29, 2013 (UTC)

The last UnSignpost of the year

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 21:13, December 29, 2013 (UTC)

Kurt Cobain

I leave this edit for you to patrol. Who's Nancy Spun? More to the point, does it justify the vacillation added to the article? Spıke Ѧ 20:53 2-Jan-14

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was banned earlier for "unconstructive edits", and I had to change my IP address and clear all my cookies just to ask User:SPIKE why they banned me, and he said that he found my edits poor, and that I was ruining the tone of an article (Paraguay, which I spent three hours on). He won't let me edit his talk page now, so I went to another person (User:Romartus) who is listed on UN:AA, but I guess the'yre in a wrong time zone, so... I came here to ask for help. I guess if he found my edits to be crap, he can change them back (or revert them, I guess?), but I don't understand why he banned me. I was just trying to help. Can you help? I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. 16:43, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

Oyyy, facepalm. Is anybody here other than SPIKE?! 17:08, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
I just got on to the site just now. You need to be aware that editing talk pages on this wiki while banned is considered ban evasion, which merits further bans. I will look into the situation and give you an answer here. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:20, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
"This is confirmation that "Paraguay" does mean "a river runs through it," because a river can almost definitely run through another river, and anyone who disagrees can think again." Telling people who disagree with you to go harm themself is not funny. This also entirely changes the meaning of what was there before, guaranteeing that someone will disagree with you.

To continue on, "dirt"-poor during the dry season, and "mud"-rich during the rainy season describes most places, and is not particularly unique or funny. "To boldly go where no man had gone before" is begging for a Star Trek style continuation of that section, not a poorly tacked on missionary emphasis that doesn't fit with the rest of the paragraph. Star Trek and Jesus just don't have enough in common, though you are welcome to write a new article about that if you feel differently, to combine the two concepts. (If you do write a new article about this, don't preach, entertain.) You removed some links to perfectly good articles, and replacing these links with links to vital but less well-done articles is not desirable. Replacing working links with nonworking links is borderline vandalism, and to be avoided. Some of your changes attempt to form an opinion FOR the reader, rather than letting the reader form their own opinion. This too is undesirable. We are here to amuse and entertain the reader, not to persuade the reader. Hard sell should be avoided in articles, unless there is a clear humor purpose for it (and I find myself without an example to point to here, which should tell you something about not using hard sell in articles). Finally, avoid memes like Hitler unless you are actually talking about the historical period when Hitler would be plausible. Mentioning Hitler at implausible times in history doing implausible things has become so overused that it isn't funny anymore. Same goes with Kanye West interrupting things, and same with Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking things. I think that covers the bulk of your changes. I will review your contributions: your changes to this article merit perhaps a one-day or two-hour ban to give you time to read and memorize HTBFANJS, but the fact that you are changing IP's makes it at least a one day ban, perhaps more. But I will let it go this time since you did not know editing talk pages was ban evasion. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:40, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

PS - Editing userpages not your own is not allowed here, unless you are collaborating with the user whose userspace it is in. Use talk pages to leave comments. What you left on that userpage was vandalism, though of a small magnitude. So use the two hours to read our Beginner's Guide, and all of our "Ignorable" policies. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:51, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but

you are nominated for Uncyclopedian of the Year but your userpage is protected. Here it is!

Puzzlepotato aqua Nominated Uncyclopedian of the Year
This user has been nominated for Uncyclopedian of the Year—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite user at Uncyclopedia:Uncyclopedian of the Year.
Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:37, January 5, 2014 (UTC)

Hi Sims

Hell Froze Over

Happy new year. A request: could you go close down some of the VFD noms which have been up for hundreds of hours without a delete decision. SPIKE leaves them up until hell freezes over, which it will do soon. Thanks. Aleister 15:05 5-1-14

Then why not wait until it freezes over, if it's soon? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:18, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
Because then the devils will be skating on the ice (to paraphrase Pat Buchanan who, when asked how long he would fight for his ideals or something, replied "Until hell freezes over. And then we'll fight on the ice"). Aleister 15;:32 5-1-14
To be clear, Aleister is not saying VFD needs to be tidied up, but rather that the latest Butt Poop nominee needs to be declared deadlocked on the basis of his single objection. A better course of action would be for you to cast a vote. Spıke Ѧ 16:28 5-Jan-14
I am saying, to not put words in my mouth, that fairness should be the order of the day here. Having a page on VFD for over 300 hours should be a draw, and the VFD nominee should be saved, imnho. Where is a line like that drawn? Aleister 19:39 5-1-14
Hell is freezing over on this side of the country. Romartus piled on regarding the holiday Butt Poop, Aleister flipped, and it is gone. But Simsie, you are always welcome on the page if you feel the need for some awful reads! Spıke Ѧ 11:16 6-Jan-14

Anon has gone to work on two HowTo: pages. I am inclined to invite him to register, but I am also inclined to delete all his work, as in one case it is lengthening lists and lengthening the telling of the same jokes, and in another case has taken a page in a drastically different direction that is sort of ranty. Would you take a look? Spıke Ѧ 01:10 13-Jan-14

Vandalism is pointless

Thanks for chipping in at UN:VIP. Could you upload a new version of File:Vandalism is stupid.png (including the handwritten call-outs of the Rollback and Undo buttons) that uses a diff of an actual vandal deleting text (and replacing it with "poop" or something)? This would do better at making the important point that we can easily recover deleted text. If I do it, even disabling my custom fonts and stuff, the main point it will make is that some fool persists in using Windows XP. Spıke Ѧ 10:43 21-Jan-14

Here is one! Spıke Ѧ 16:32 21-Jan-14

Looks like you already fixed that one, so the rollback button doesn't show up on that change summary. I have Windows 7, so might be able to do a screen capture and crop though. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:13, January 21, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, right. Anyway, the rollback button, or other special stuff that Admins see, is not a key part of the lesson. In fact, the Undo button suffices (and the fact that everyone has one). But separately, a shot of the Rollback all button, if you've enabled yours, and of the Nuke screen could make the point lower on the page that, if we start to view the editor as a problem, we can instantly deal with a lot of edits without anyone reading the manifesto he so needed to deliver. Spıke Ѧ 01:10 22-Jan-14

PS--I've seen to this now, though you're still welcome to post-edit. Spıke Ѧ 18:50 22-Jan-14

Looks good. Sorry about the delay on my part - with all the car trouble I had yesterday (old car really should have a $ somewhere in it), my morning and time after work was basically all taken up. To add injury to insult, I also fell out of the AAA flatbed truck at the auto repair shop. Just a scrape and a bruise, but that bothered me more than I remembered from childhood. But the AAA truck was at the right time and place when my car broke down on a city street (fortunately in the bus only lane, and no buses came along), so at least I didn't have to wait an hour for it to come. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:33, January 22, 2014 (UTC)

Wait...When your car craps out, AAA comes along, and they give you a ride somewhere, they put you in the flatbed? Or your car was on the flatbed when you fell out of it? Spıke Ѧ 22:41 22-Jan-14

I was in the passenger seat in the cab of the flatbed, but its a big truck like an 18-wheeler, and I missed the step down. Should have waited for the driver to come around to my side to help me. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:44, January 22, 2014 (UTC)

Oh...In the flatbed, but not in the flat bed. Yes, I can see that happening. Spıke Ѧ 22:45 22-Jan-14

Unpatrolled edits of 20-Jan

As usual, I have left some edits dealing with popular culture for you.

  1. What up with I.R. Baboon‎‎? Is this immune under "Article in the style of the thing it's about, or is it total crap?
  2. Does the edit to Elmer Fudd beat a joke into the ground, or just make the article more consistent?
  3. Did Al Koholic even read what we wrote on his talk page before starting a second page with a pun title and moving its entire text to Pee Review? Spıke Ѧ 17:25 23-Jan-14
According to the Wikipedia article, the I.R. Baboon character is stupid, so this probably falls under the category of article in the style of the thing it's about. The changes to the Elmer Fudd article make it less readable, so I have reverted them. I'll review Al Koholic's contributions next. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:59, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
Given the short time apart from when the two articles were created on Pee Review, he may not have had time to read what you wrote on his talk page. However it looks like it was only the two pages. I have left a warning on his page that if he does this again he will be blocked. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:09, January 24, 2014 (UTC)

Passing along a deletion request

Hi, if you could look at this, it would be really appreciated. You don't seem to be around irc or the fork just now so I'm letting you know here. 04:15, January 24, 2014 (UTC) (Llwy)

Ah...I thought it was Denza asking this (as the message left on the Fork) Llwy. I do have a user page there where I can deal with requests like these. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:03, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
Llwy, for the future, sometimes email is the fastest way to get my attention. The email user feature has been reenabled on this wiki. Yesterday I was laid up with sore muscles, though, so I appreciate the help, Romartus. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:19, January 24, 2014 (UTC)


Ah, you're back! Feel free to look at three recent edits on which I recently asked for a second look from Romartus. Spıke Ѧ 22:35 29-Jan-14

See the description of my patrolling on Romartus' talk page. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:09, January 29, 2014 (UTC)


Congratulations on you and SPIKE tying for Uncyclopedian of the Year. A perfect result, and well deserved. Thanks for all of your fine and hard work. Aleister 15:44 1-2-14

Please accept some stragnoc from my part as well! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:47, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
Well done! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:57, February 1, 2014 (UTC)

Lake Pontchartrain

See the creator's talk page. He has been on a page-creation romp, which I propose to undo in four hours, and I think under a giant misimpression. Spıke Ѧ 23:12 10-Feb-14

I just left a note there about creating pages like this one with nothing but a template on them. I have a feeling that the page creation romp may be followed by a page deletion spree (on an admin's part). ---- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:15, February 10, 2014 (UTC)

I have told him I intend to do exactly this at 7 PM your time if he doesn't explain himself. Spıke Ѧ 23:17 10-Feb-14

Okay, I'll wait and see if he fleshes out any of the pages he created and let you take care of them if not. I'll be at work by 7pm my time, since I work swing shift hours. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:19, February 10, 2014 (UTC)

The first UnSignpost of the year

That time I was nearly caught reading the UnSignpost, so now I am delivering it to you! Have a nice time reading it! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:56, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

List of animals that don't exist, but should

{{WIP}} is too charitable; I don't think this article is going anywhere. I would have huffed it with instructions in the Summary on whom to contact after registering to get a copy in userspace. Spıke Ѧ 17:58 19-Feb-14

"SPIKE isn't the only admin here."

You're, like, asking him to troll you too??? Spıke Ѧ 21:45 20-Feb-14

PS--New user KristieV34510 follows a familiar pattern on her user page. Best to assume good faith, as you did, but if she had followed this with directions to "my blog," I would have whacked her as a spambot. Spıke Ѧ 21:50 20-Feb-14

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