User talk:Simsilikesims/Archive1

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This template appears to have been violently murdered. If this template has offended anyone, justice has been dealt.

(It deserved it)

Michael Jefferson

I undid stuff on the article and you reverted it back, I accidently forgot to log, sorry if it looked like i vandalized it, but I had it pee reviewed and it didn't do so well, Im trying to rewrite it.

Ok, thanks for clearing that up. I usually try to be careful about reverting the author of an article but this one slipped by me somehow. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:20, May 7, 2010 (UTC)


Hello, Simsilikesims, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  –—Hv (talk) 6/03 19:46

13 painful but rarely fatal sins

I've moved this article to your userspace at User:Simsilikesims/13 painful but rarely fatal sins, since its ICU tag has expired. There, you can work on it all you like until it's ready for another shot at the main space. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me on my talk page. Cheers. -RAHB 21:38, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Oh there you are!

I wasn't looking for you specifically but you'll do! ...hi "Simsi"! I can call you "Simsi" right?   Le Cejak <1:54, 12 Aug 2008>

Well, lemme tell ya' Simmy-sim simmy: I like the cut of your jib.   Le Cejak <2:03, 12 Aug 2008>
Ok, thanks, I usually only joke about something I know something about, otherwise I just correct spelling, grammar and formatting. Simsilikesims 02:06, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Don't forget to keep it real, okay? I started out like you, just foolin' around in cybersp-ace.   Le Cejak <2:07, 12 Aug 2008>

Join the UnOrder Today!

~ Readmesoon

Ok, I put my name down, now to figure out how to edit my signature. Simsilikesims 02:09, 23 August 2008 (UTC)


I'm bored and I need to adopt some noob. I noticed your template. So, I want to adopt you. I'll be able to help you on whatever you need. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 16:04, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for the adoption. Please feel free to check out some of my articles and suggest improvements. Most need images. Simsilikesims 00:26, 26 August 2008 (UTC)

Removing ICU's

Basically, please don't do that again. If you had made a significant improvement to the article, then maybe removing it would be OK. As it stands, what you did was something which non admins should not really be doing. If you have removed any other ICUs, please go and re-add them. Have fun. :-) MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 20:32, Aug 29

How do I know when I have made a "significant" contribution to an article? Does fixing up grammar & punctuation plus adding header sections count? And yes, I plan to leave future ICU templates alone for now. Simsilikesims 20:38, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
Retrieved from ""
Fixing up grammar & punctuation alone probably does not count. The simple answer is to check with the person who left the ICU by asking them on their talk page. If they are happy for you to remove it, then it's OK. After seven days without being edited, an admin will make the judgement to delete or not, so there is really not that much point in removing the ICU anyway. If you had added LOADS of great new material, maybe it would be different and you could remove it, but still... Removing ICUs is one of those things which people get a bit "itchy" about when non admins do it, which is why I recommend that you steer clear of doing it under any circumstances at least until you have been around a good while longer... Gerrycheevers added that ICU for good reason. As it was we had to have a VFD vote which is a lot more effort for the community than if the normal process had run its course... Anyways... No harm done. Enjoy. :) MrN 20:52, Aug 29

Sig Stuff

I left you a note about your sig on the sig's talk page, but it doesn't seem like you got it (or it only further confused you). Just read my guide to sig making, and it should clear things up. Happy designing! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:05, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks much! Maybe I'll take the time template out and see if that helps. That, or I'll "borrow" your signature. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:06, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
Haha, go ahead! Remember to use the end tags! (</span>, in your case) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:10, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Sorry, the guide wasn't entirely correct the first time around. Please excuse the inconvenience :P Is your sig liking now? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:24, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Yep, its better now. Now if I could figure out how to make it display my local time, if that was possible (btw its about 925pm here right now).-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:26, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
Hmm... I believe that's in your preferences under Date and Time. Just click Fill in from browser or type -07:00 if it's supposed to be 9:25 (pacific coast, woo!). If that doesn't do it, I don't think it really matters, time-stamps are sorta superficial anyways. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:31, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
Nope, it didnt work and the time template appears to be a random thingy. Oh well..-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:34, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
Well, the time stamp is mostly for comparison, so you can just look at the stamps and tell that one person responded three minutes or whatever after the other, yada, yada... So... yeah. Anywho, if that's all, I'll see you around! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:38, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Requesting Reason

Hey. I was working on the article about death and noticed that you'd made a few changes. I'd like to ask if you thought that the quotes were indeed, funny. Also, I request that you'd refrain making any changes for a short while as I am re-writing the whole article. Thanks. The Dark Prince 02:16, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Yes, I liked the quotes that I restored, otherwise I wouldnt have restored them. I hope you didnt mind the spelling/grammar fixes. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:22, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
Only the grammar fix on the milky way was needed. The others were not capitalized, etc. simply because I was planning to link them to various topics(some that have to be created). I request that you'd wait for 34 hours(by which time the article would've been finished - I'm taking a 8 hour break effective from now) and then, make the changes. Cuz I was also hoping that me adoptee would see it - but it's ok, he could check the history for that.So yea, 34 hours. And try NOT to change my user page - you can always leave a message at my user talk page and I'd be more than glad to reply. Happy Editing. The Dark Prince 02:27, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
Oops...wrong page...that was suppose to go on your talk page (blushes) -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:29, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
lol. And yea, consulted with my dad(as in on this site. he's my virtual dad and a mentor, so to speak) and he too agreed that there were far too many quotes and lists. I am taking drastic measures and request that you don't change things until the article is reviewed in a weeks time. This is my first shot at writing a whole article and hope you'd give me the concession of writing it all by myself. After all, there's a whole world of unfinished articles out there for you to improve(oh god, I DO come off as an egotist.) Thanks. The Dark Prince 10:40, 3 September 2008 (UTC)


So, how's life on Uncyc going? All is well, i hope! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:42, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

y ty

for peeing on my first article :) --PieSoup 04:42, 14 September 2008 (UTC)


Thanks for adding my chart, do you think it will eventually be on the Sarah Palin article? User:Dupeldurp

Only time will tell if it will stay on there or not. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:51, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Speaking in the way a father would....

You grow up so fast. Maybe it was because you were 13 when I adopted you. Or maybe it has something to do with something else. Sire !! -4- (02:02 11-21-2008)

(smart money bets on that other thing) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 06:12, 23 November 2008 (UTC)

Hey Sim...

I have no doubt you're going somewhere with that QDB article and it'll soon blossom into something wonderful; but I'd get a construction/work in progress tag on there pretty sharpish if I were you. :-) RabbiTechno 20:27, 2 December 2008 (UTC)

If what you're trying to do is add quotes to QDB, do it here. Hope that helps. RabbiTechno 20:30, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
Oh, okay. Thanks. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:40, 2 December 2008 (UTC)

Happy Hanukkah

Happy Holidays from all of us at SysRq Waste Disposal and Grinder Co.

Happy Giftmas. ~Sissie

sirIgnignokt.gifsysrq @ 23:55 Dec 21


Festivus-card Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:20, Dec 21

Fred Phelps

You just sew together three different branches of the article? -- 03:45, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Sign in, use userspace to construct a COMPLETE new article, then we'll worry about it later. Using a mostly blanked article as a placeholder doesn't cut it. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 18:33, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Thank you

I wanted to stop by and say thank you for voting for me as Uncyclopedia:Potatochopper of the Year. Since one is only as good as their last creation, the hard part starts ;-). Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:58, 1 February 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome - hope to see more great work from you. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:32, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Your review

While I do appreciate your review, it was hardly helpful at all. Please have a look at the pee review guidelines before doing another review. Your review was not in depth at all and gave me no real advice. Also, it's not an UnNews article, I'm not really sure where you're getting that. But I do appreciate you looking at the article, even though I did explicitly request that a member of PEEING do the review. Please get back to me if you have any questions. Cheers! Sir SysRq (talk) 21:25, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, hi Sims - further to Sys's comment there, can I start by thanking you for taking time out to help others by reviewing their articles? It's always appreciated when someone gives their time to try and be helpful. However, as Sys says, it's more appreciated if you spend more time on one review, and give plenty of feedback on it, rather than spreading yourself more thinly and giving a couple of one-line-per-box reviews that don't really help the writer by giving them feedback to work with. If you do another review, perhaps you might read that link Sys gave you, and think about it - after all, if you're going to use your time, it does make it feel more worthwhile if you give someone something to work with. Anyway, good luck, and see you around the place! --UU - natter UU Manhole 22:43, Feb 2



Gavin would like to thank you once more for sympathizing with him enough to vote for his book to be among the top ten books of 2008. Unless, of course, you happen to be a transsexual, in which case you are a freak and should not email him. Much love, Sir SysRq (talk) 21:49, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the suggestions

Appreciate the suggestions you made on my depression article. You're not as bad as evidence would have me believe. --Concernedresident 12:05, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Cardboard Box

Yeah, you may notice I reverted and protected the Cardboard Box article, including removing your edits. Nothing personal, it's just we normally protect the featured article in the state it is when it starts the feature run to avoid vandalism. If you think your edits were an improvement, you can make them again when the feature period is over. Cheers! --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:27, Feb 23

No problem, you may notice I removed the section my edits were in myself before the article was protected, deciding it didn't quite fit with the tone of the rest of the article, which had more of a invention/military manual style. Plus it was already briefly mentioned about usage as a home for the homeless towards the end of the article. I really should learn to preview my edits. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 11:30, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your thoughts

This pre-occupation with an idealized past by some members of the community has disturbed me since day one of my month and a half here. There's always going to be turnover, it's inevitable. I feel confident in the new active members we pick up every month and I don't care what anyone else says. Mleah!--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  00:54, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

For you

Newcookie MrN9000 has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

I noticed the useful stuff you were doing on the talk page at Talk:Jew‎. Thanks for that. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 02:31, Mar 9

You're welcome....I'm preparing the old talk page for archiving (post colonization). -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:32, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

In grongitude

Yea, I'm watchin ;)

The thing to remember is that you will get more sympathy during a revert battle if you use an edit summary. Especially if it looks like a good faith edit. Revert a couple of times and ask the other party to go to the talk page, where you can leave a short message for them. If they ignore ya... Then you have a case. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 17:17, Mar 31

Good, I reverted the first few edits since they looked like vandalism. Then in light of one of the edits, maybe they were trying to be funny (ie the part about deleting sections and putting them back listed in the article put into practice). I'm not putting them on ban patrol for now since they seem to have stopped blanking sections and adding extra sections for now. If they do it again, I will complain on the talk page then if ignored try ban patrol. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 17:21, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Cool. If it's obviously vandalism there is no need to bother with an edit summary, but when it's not I guess it can be a bit frustrating. (Like I always bother to do that myself *cough cough*). Ya get me... I normally base it on how much effort they have put in. If they have just typed a few one liners I will probably just revert, but I do try to say something when it's not. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 17:28, Mar 31
By the way, I did leave a message on their talk page just now so they know why I did what I did for future reference. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 17:32, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Then what the hell are you doing hanging around my talk page? Hea man, just leave me alone will you. You are not the boss of me! Stop trying to tell me what to do! MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 17:37, Mar 31
Aw, but its fun to bug admins for about 2 minutes. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 17:39, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

I haven't had an edit reverted in a while...

Is this where I bitch incessantly about how the users are all hilarious and anybody who reverts my edits are "teh gheys"? Colin Explode fireALL YOUR BASEExplode fireHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 17:21, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Yep, I forget which article it was on, again? I know it was on my watchlist somewheres. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:02, 15 April 2009 (UTC)
The Barack Obama one, but whatever. I figured anything was better for his political party then "The Clintonians" or "Tea". Colin Explode fireALL YOUR BASEExplode fireHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 19:19, 15 April 2009 (UTC)
Now I remember: I thought that it looked really weird in all caps with exclamation points. I didn't think Tea was that bad. I'd suggest "Enviro-nazis" but that would be the Green party. The article will be colonized soon enough anyways, so you may want to join the Imperial Colonizers to improve it. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:04, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Are you really a girl!? Also ninja star

Yeah so you're a girl? How did I not notice this before? Anyway it's great we can have a slumber party! And talk about boys and braid our hair and experiment! It's gonna be sooo cool! Also:

~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 10:49 16 April 2009

And yes, I'm really a woman. Thanks for the ninjastars. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 13:32, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
Coolies! and it's no problem. :) See you around, and have fun. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 14:10 16 April 2009
Lulz, I have a daughter. Sire !! -4- (21:53 06-7-2009)

Hey Faggot!

Or alternatively, hi there! I noticed your name was listed on IC. I also noticed that our latest project is in need of some help. So I put two and two together and realized I should ask Modus. When he told me to get bent, I immediately thought of you. I'm setting an arbitrary deadline for this one at next week Saturday, so if sometime in the next week you can tear yourself away from your porn collection and maybe contribute a line or two it'd be appreciated. We're counting on you, <insert name here>! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN18:26, 23 May Dictated; not read.

An important announcement from your friends at IC.

Did you know *snicker*...Ahem. Did you know that SYSRQ IS TEH GHEYZORS? LOLOLOL!

Also, we've decided to keep our Colonization projects contained to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project for your watchlisting convenience. Put it in your watchlist and try to remember to add a cuss word or something once in a while eh?

Also also, I heard that Gerry likes the smell of his own farts.

Have fun Colonizers and let's be careful out there. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN15:08, 6 Jun

Goddamn it!

You are now no longer under my care. You can now have children. Build a house, our family is just getting started, unlike the Mordillo family. Congratu-Gooddamnit-lations. My Angry Anniversary Celebration! Icons-flag-us Nice... (21:49 06-16-2009)

Your epic template showing your awesome father that let you go:

Attention Colonizers!

The brief era of peace we've been enjoying has once again been shattered by the IP horde. And since those pot smoking, tree hugging liberal faggots repealed the draft the IC forces are stuck with the likes of you. You are therefore ordered to report to the front lines at once for briefing. Once we have decided our plan of attack, we'll march into battle post haste. You're dismissed Simsilikesims. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN20:29, 11 Sep

Thanks for your vote!

According to your ISP's records, you supported file sharing.

The Recording Industry Association of AmericaTM has notified the authorities of your unacceptable political views. Lars Ulrich will shortly visit your residence in our name to kick your teeth out.

In the meantime, thank you for voting.

--Andorin Kato 17:53, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, you mangy colonists.

I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:41, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

How is it

That you don't have rollback? ~Jewriken.GIF 23:21, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

I dunno - I've been here awhile, nobody ever mentioned it. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:22, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
You need to demand your rights you know? Enjoy your new rollback plunger (even though when you do have reasoning for revert you'd still better use undo with a summary). ~Jewriken.GIF 23:25, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
Thanks! I'll use it carefully. Except in cases of extensive obvious vandalism.-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:26, November 15, 2009 (UTC)


After making one unrelated change to Michigan (mostly adding a footnote mentioning the un-telegenic ex-governor John Engler), I'm going to partly revert the sentence you just added back. "The Kingdom of da Yupé, where the Yoopers live" is stated one line down, in the first sentence of 1.1. I'll mention the trolls under the bridge at the start of 1.2.

A lot of what comes later is what they call "listcruft." The list of cities in Michigan contains fun information. I'll delete the cities that have no information; they're easy to add back when someone thinks of something good. Having the city name with nothing following it is just an invitation for someone to add something not-so-good.

But the General Info is trite (everyone thinks their weather is extreme, and extremely fluid). The stuff about I-69 is important. Civil war against the yuppies is going on everywhere in the U.S. And history (of the 22nd century) and Demographics (with percentages about 100%) use what are now officially-recognized and deprecated clichés. I would mine these sections for actual humor rather than blow them away. Spıke ¬  01:12 16-Nov-09

The two sections that follow describe the two peninsulas, but that fact may not be clear to the reader. Thus the summary sentence. I do agree with deletion of some of the listcruft and overused demographics though. Too many statistics = boring.-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:34, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
That part of the introduction is still there.
I'd delete the demographic list right now, except that it serves one purpose: as a placeholder of easily-stereotyped Michiganders. Someone needs to write a real paragraph on each one rather than just state the name and think they've told a joke. Spıke ¬  10:44 17-Nov-09

Another revert

Your segue to 2012 in the article on Global warming breaks a joke, begun in the last quotation in the intro. The date was 1995 because predictions of apocalypse, with attendant invitation to panic, have been around for a long time and the Earth should have melted away last decade. Spıke ¬  00:59 25-Nov-09

Fair enough. Feel free to revert...actually I notice you already did. Nevermind. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:20, November 26, 2009 (UTC)


Hi, good to meet you. The overexcited template on Stub seemed very funny to me, as it's just the opposite (one of the foundation stone's of some types of humor) of what is happening on the page. There are many warnings and such in appropriate places on Uncy, and to put this extreme overexcited template on that page makes me laugh even as I write this. Can I please, pretty please with (check in the mail) on top, put it back? Thanks. Aleister in Chains 00:24, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

Ok, I'll put it back for you. I didn't find it funny, but I suppose others might. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:02, December 12, 2009 (UTC)
Hi, and thanks. I just saw this. It's funny to me, but maybe I's the only one. If so, doubly thanks! Some good articles floating. See you on down the road. Aleister in Chains 00:28, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

White Folks

You've been involved before with White Folks but I don't know if you're watching it now. PuppyOnTheRadio has agreed to move the bit of Australian dialect to the article on Australian and I've proposed (on the talk page) to amputate all the other discussion of nationalities that says nothing except that they talk funny. I'll probably conduct the surgery tomorrow night. Speak up there if you have thoughts on this! Spıke ¬  04:50 24-Dec-09

Semi-official Imperial Colonization

For once, a short note from me. I'm apparently now running Imperial Colonization. I plan to open it up for nominations for the next colonization on Sunday, 31 January 2010, so will make an official announcement then. In the meantime, I've made some changes, and would love suggestions (see Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and User:Why do I need to provide this?/Imperial Colonization). Thanks for any help you can give me! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:51, January 27, 2010 (UTC)


Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:31, January 30, 2010 (UTC)


The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  05:05, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Imperial Colonization: Creationism and Batman

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on my talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == Your comments == below my signature and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

The seventh day of Creationism

If you haven't heard the rumour, it's true. The new and improved and absolutely perfect version of Creationism has been created. And because it was so perfect, we got it Pee Reviewed so it could be even more perfect. Post-review edits are being done, and will be completed very soon so our colonized version can replace the current Creationism.

I gave credit on The Big Board to every colonizer who worked on the article (if I somehow missed you, put a note on my talk page). I really appreciate everyone's help; I think we have a great article. If this gets featured, however, I feel that only those who made the more substantial contributions should get co-feature credit. Otherwise, someone could add two words and get 1/2 credit for writing a feature article, which doesn't seem fair. (But note that half a dozen people or more could each get 1/2 credit; that's one of the advantages of being a colonizer as aren't limited by the laws of mathematics). Any opinions on this or anything in this notice are welcome on the IC talk page. Buccaneers traditionally work by group consensus, and I'm all for sharing the blame tradition.

I'm Batman

Our current colonization is Batman. Writing on it begins now. By consensus built over the past few days, this will feature a psychiatrist talking with Bruce Wayne, a delusional Arkham Asylum mental patient who thinks he is some hero named Batman--or is he delusional? See I'M BATMAN for the guidelines for this article.

Any colonizer is welcome to edit the article! Any non-colonizer who wants to apply is welcome to do so on the Imperial Colonization page. We promise we won't throw you to the sharks. Well, probably not.

The future

We are taking nominations and votes for our next project. As per previous IC discussions, old nominations which aren't in the lead and which haven't received any recent votes will be removed. Check out the current nominations before they fade into history--but an article removed from the list can certainly be renominated. Nominate and vote on the IC page.

Go forth and colonize! Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  03:26, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral walking the plank!

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on the IC talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == (Your comments) == below my signature, or click the + tab up above, and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

Actually, I'm looking for a temporary assistant/permanent successor as head of Imperial Colonization. I got put in charge of IC because I kept bugging a certain admin. I'd say, "Why isn't somebody doing this with IC?" and "Why isn't somebody doing that with IC?" So that admin basically said "Why, you're somebody; go do it" (see discussion here). But as you can see, I took on the position planning to update IC, get it moving again, and see it through one colonization. Well, that happened. IC was updated and reactivated and, thanks to some great colonizers, Creationism was recreated in a spirit of cooperation, was rewritten on deadline, was Pee Reviewed and, as a bonus, was voter-chosen as a feature article within about a day of being nommed. Our current project, Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman is scheduled to be written by 20 March, and then we'll begin another. IC is moving...and I'm looking for someone to keep it moving. If interested, please post a note on the IC talk page--experienced and successful users only need apply. Ability to say "ARRRRR" like a pirate is not required, but would be nice.

WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 16:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Discordianism vote needed quickly and member retirement

VOTE DISCORDIAN NOW: We need your vote! On both Creationism and Batman, colonizers who participated came to a consensus on a direction for the article. But on Discordianism, there's been more discord--or at least not a consensus. So we're resorting to (sigh) democracy. Go to Uncyclopedia_talk:Imperial_Colonization/Discordianism#Article_ideas and cast your vote!

You can vote for one or two, comment on as many as you like, but vote quickly--this is an eleventh hour effort, and we will hopefully have a direction in a few hours. I'll be checking the results sometime around 03:00 UTC of 25 March 2010.

ARE YOU RETIRED?: Also note that colonizers who haven't participated in any of the last three colonizations will be moved to the retirement list. Quite frankly, I'm doing this primarily because I have to post each of these notices by hand (I don't have a bot, and sure could use one), and it takes a long time to post to the pages of people who are inactive in IC and even on Uncyclopedia. If you're put on the retirement list and want back on the active list, simply post a request on the IC talk page.

KEEP CHECKING THE IC TALK PAGE: Many important decisions and updates are made and/or described on the IC talk page that are never posted on user talk pages.

POST COMMENTS ON IC TALK. As usual, if you post them on your talk page, I'll likely never see them.

WHY'S REPLACEMENT NEED: A special added reminder that I, Why do I need to provide this? aka Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems) , am only interim director of IC and need a replacement. My intention was to lead IC just long enough to get it revived, which is a major part of the reason I took the title Buccaneer Admiral instead of Admiral of the Fleet, which is the official title of the head of Imperial Colonization. I plan to abandon ship retire shortly after midnight (UTC) on Saturday, 17 April 2010. I would really like someone to work with me on the current colonization, and I will be happy to assist whoever replaces me during the transition--I do not plan to leave IC, only retire as head. If you're interested, post a note at IC Admiral of the Fleet needed.

Happy colonizations! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:16, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Dubya Bush

I have no idea what you meant me to read in the discussion page. How does this not fit with the theme of the article?

(1) Please sign your posts on discussion pages. It only takes 4 tildes ~. (2) The theme of the Dubya Bush article is that Bush was an incompetent president. The article uses exaggeration to overexaggerate how bad a president he was. This makes it funny if you do not believe he was incompetent because of the exaggeration, and also makes it funny if you do believe he was competent because then you believe it is exaggerated (or maybe not by much) but true. It is kinda like a "yo momma" joke, only extended to the "yo president" level. There is also an article that takes the opposite angle - exaggerating the praise of the president in the George W Bush article. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:25, March 31, 2010 (UTC)


SAFPAS For your vote in VFS

and as promised last time
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination.
Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present
to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice.

Rabbi Techno

Thank you! Thank me too - by writing more great articles! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:03, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

An IP's complaint

Thanks Mordillo, for fixing the template above. To answer the latest question posed, the article Depression is a very dark satire, and should probably be avoided by those suffering actual depression. I almost left the change in about "killing the author of this article" as the "cure to depression" on that page, since that is kinda funny. But I decided that even that probably wouldn't actually cure depression, just win you a "Go to Jail Free" card. So I guess it depends on whether you find Murder funny. In the future, please post rants about articles on the talk page of the article in question, and sign your post with 4 tildes ~~~~. Making an article that you find unfunny, less funny to others is generally frowned on around here. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:03, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

original question below

Why did you revert my changes on the depression page? Do you really think suicide is funny? If so why don´t you kill yourself? 00:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)April 22 2010

Vote now for Colonisation

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and other,

As you may be aware we have now reached the point where April's Colonisation, Discordianism, has been successfully moved to mainspace, and we are currently voting on our colonisation for May.

As I have been press-ganged encouraged strongly to take the reigns of IC, I'm sending this out to remind all current and previous members of IC to vote on next months colonisation. Voting is taking place here as we speak. As of 1st of May I will be announcing the page that will get our tender mercies, so I encourage you to vote - or nominate - now.

Good luck, and may the farce be with you!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Tuesday, 03:35, Apr 27 2010 UTC

Discordianism has been added to VFH. Go, read, enjoy, vote.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 09:45, Apr 28 2010 UTC

Thanks for your support

ArkhamBatman Arkham Asylum thanks you for your generous support. Because of donations from dedicated Gotham City citizens like you, we can afford to keep
Bruce Wayne
safe from himself for another six months.
He was also chosen as our
Featured inmate patient
for April 24, 2010!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 09:51, Apr 28 2010 UTC


thanks! i'll do that from now on :) CamelHump 04:35, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Also, please be careful what you censor. Don't edit anything in other people's user spaces, nor people's comments on talk pages, and don't bother censoring on pages already marked with the NSFW (Not Safe For Work) template. Try not to create red links. Finally, don't bother censoring pages like this one. Not everything needs to be censored. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:37, June 1, 2010 (UTC)


Hey! You should come hang out with us on Skype. Regardless of this crazy cabal propaganda that's going around, we always love new folks hangin' out with us, and I'm the only girl who's around all the time, so it'd be nice to have another chick to talk to and stuff. Love, Ethine sig 

One of these days I might install it but I am afraid it might cost money. That plus my hard drive is starting to get full, and my webcam might give away the state of my messy house. Whoops, I just let the cat out of the bag. She was hungry anyways. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 07:06, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
Skype is free, luckily. And we only do conference calls. Rarely has anyone ever turned on their webcam. Dunno how much space it takes up on zee ol' hard drive, but not much.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 07:15 Jun 02, 2010
I definitely should try it sometime then. Not tonight though, its about 12:18am here. I'm off to beddie-bye. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 07:19, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Korea is on VFD

I see in the history that you've been defending this page against Mr. I.P. Anon, as has Paizuri even though he has now nominated it for deletion. But neither of you have gotten aggressive about clearing out all the personal anecdote stuff and making the page about something real. I suggested on VFD that we hold our fire until we hear from you. Spıke ¬ 23:05 2-Jun-10

Hello, and thankest you

Hi, and it's been nice seeing your name around just for the name itself. I want to thank you for your vote on the oily bird poem. This is one I really like, and it was a magical working in how it came together--topped off by finding that perfect video after everything was already in place. Thanks a zillion. Aleister 22:34 23 6 MMX

The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:31, 24 June 2010


Al and Guildy thank you for your vote, this page loves you too. And only the fourth UnPoetia ever featured--thanks again!

Very appreciated vote, thanks. I ate one of the oily birds today, delicious once you spit out the beak. Aleister 23:51 30 6 MMX

Thanks!!! <3

Love, Ethine sig 

All the news that's unfit to print!

--ChiefjusticeWii 12:26, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Signpost: normal service resumed

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:03, Jul 9

Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:28, 16 July 2010

Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

--ChiefjusticeWii 14:10, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:14, 5 August 2010

Thanks for the heads up on Plumage

(I actually caught it on Special:Watchlist but if I hadn't: oh-boy! Thanks again!!!)
I see what you mean about the article using two different concepts of Plumage but I'd like to tie them together rather than an elimination of one over the other (because then it would primarily be a list or a baseless article of which I'm not sure the joke would work without an updated rewrite). I've been kicking around a few ideas for weeks now but nothing has seemed to come together yet.
Er; in short, any suggestions?  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  18 Aug 2010 ~ 05:02 (UTC)

Perhaps if the Plu-Mages were the ones who were changing the appearance of creatures to create the patterns/colors/textures of creatures, it would help tie things together. Better yet, a ridiculous competition between Plu-Mages to create new Plumage (perhaps on each other) that eventually wiped the Plu-Mages out, so that only Plumage remained. Either way, the article could stand an updated rewrite so that it doesn't look like a combination of a list and a baseless article to some people. I do like the way you used all the links though. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:26, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah it was one of my first, you can tell this from the html coding instead of wiki coding. This are some good ideas, I'll have to ruminate on them a bit.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  19 Aug 2010 ~ 04:53 (UTC)

Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

--ChiefjusticeWii 12:12, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Biiiiiiiiiig winner!

BePrepared Uncyclopedian of the Month August 2010

Well done! Try not to bugger off, now! --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 01:41, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

Wow...I think heck must have frozen over. Now I have to change my user page! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:28, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

Avast me hearties!

Colony Potato
By the powers! this e'er be fer a reminder o' tha great, grand Imperial Colonization be startin' up again!

Whether you be a sprog or a privateer we be expectin' ya ta come 'round an participate in this sweet trade lessen' you be a lily-livered squiffy, scallywag, or scurvy dog thar.

Aye! ~ Buccaneer Happytimes. Happytimes_pi.gif

The current project: Dinosaur

Now in the writing phase
(Oh UN:IC, how your rules are now broken....)

UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 13:00, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Hello, and twanks

Your vote on uncy of the month was very appreciated, and actually needed to create a tie. I am now your slave, and when you say jump, just point to where. It's a nice red award, potatoey and all, and I'm glad I hypnotized enough people at this summer's picnic to get the vote needed. Thanks again! Aleister 17:52 1 10

Ann Arbor

Hi Simsie! You worked with me on Michigan with such good results that I thought you were from there, until I learned better. Anyway, I randomly visited Ann Arbor and it is complete randumbo. It has a smattering of names of people and places from Michigan, but they, and the rest of the text, have utterly nothing to do with Ann Arbor. In case you are from that part of the state, as I am, you might want to participate, watch, or review a gradual rework of the page I intend to do in the next week. Spıke ¬ 23:35 28-Oct-10

No, I'm not from Michigan, but I think I visited there once. Mostly I was trying to add consistency to the page, if I remember right. Feel free to rework it as you wish. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:28, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again!


Thank you for voting my 40th feature this has enabled me to receive free electro-convulsive aversion therapy.Diolch yn fawr--Sog1970 21:54, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Read All About It!

--ChiefjusticeWii 14:23, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Punji Stick

Much thanks for your vote. Now you have reduced the odds of stepping on a punji stick by 0.11%. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:30, Nov 20

Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.

~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:01 (UTC)

Don't you love the smell of the UnSignpost in the morning?

--Tophat headless 05:32, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

The UnSignpost, now with 25% less saturated fat

--ChiefjusticeWii 16:08, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Oh shit! It's another unsignpost!

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:23, 16 December 2010

This is it... the 100th UnSignpost.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:50, 23 December 2010

UnNews:US to be undefended from terrorism next Sunday‎

Thanks for reverting Anon on this UnNews. 57 doesn't "imply we annexed a few countries" as you say in your Change Summary. The article, which plays with Napolitano getting a number wrong, ends with the notorious moment in the Presidential campaign when Obama got a number wrong. Spıke ¬ 20:58 27-Dec-10

Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up. Simsilikesims 21:06, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

QVFD duplicates

You might want to just turn on the qvfd gadget in your preferences instead of importing Mitch's... seems to be a bit out of date, or something. Yes, I noticed. I'm not stalking you, though. Really.

Anyhow, care for some cake? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:00, 29 December 2010

UnSignpost, UnSignpost, eat it right here...

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:39, 30 December 2010

UnSignpost Delivery!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Thursday, 09:57, Jan 6 2011 UTC

UnSignpost Delivery!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Thursday, 03:16, Jan 13 2011 UTC

Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is the UnSignpost.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 08:13, 20 January 2011

UnSignpost! Wheeee!

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:43, 27 January 2011

UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city! made it into queue!

Thanks for votin...


--Tophat headless 23:55, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost is now served with complimentary tacos.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:35, 3 February 2011

This edition of the UnSignpost brought to you in two's complement...

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:27, 10 February 2011


I just realised you edited one word in my PLS article. Shame on you, you could have disqualified me ;) Feel free to edit and touch up and recommend whatever you want on it! Pretenciousness abound! Assess! --Shabidoo 00:49, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Lurg luuurg unsignpost luuuuurg

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:15, 17 February 2011

UnSignnull pointer exception

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 07:44, 24 February 2011

All the UnSignpost you ever wanted

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:09, 3 March 2011

UnSignpost: March 10th, 2011

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 03:10, March 10, 2011 (UTC)

AdminBots presents: The UnSignpost

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:10, 17 March 2011


1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 10:51, 24 March 2011


Despite editing Michigan for months, and encountering you from time to time, I just now visited the article on my birth city of Detroit and find it in awful shape--among other things, having many of the same jokes as Michigan does. It falls to me to put this into shape. I think you said before that you aren't a Michigander; do you have any special expertise on Detroit, or am I on my own? Spıke ¬ 01:12 31-Mar-11

This is your UnSignpost speaking

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:15, 31 March 2011

Worst 100 Things Rick Astley Is Never Gonna Do on VFD

Hard rewrite? I have already done an easy rewrite under a different name. Flip your vote to Delete and this will replace it. Spıke ¬ 23:36 6-Apr-11

Done. I do also like the idea of trying to write 94 rhyming verses that are also funny, per mattlobster's idea, but I doubt that the project will ever be completed. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:53, April 7, 2011 (UTC)

Terribly creative UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:25, 7 April 2011

The UnSignpost: On-time and on top of things... as always.

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:00, 14 April 2011

That UnSignposty thing

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:20, 21 April 2011

UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:26, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Signpost Un

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:16, 5 May 2011

The Signpost is delivered to all God-fearing citizens

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:44, 12 May 2011

Welcoming users

Can pet the edit summary as 'Welcome'? Thanks ansd cheers. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:01, 16 May 2011

Ok, I'll consider that in the future. Got in too much of a hurry. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:56, May 17, 2011 (UTC)


I know that this is a humor Wiki, but shouldn't the articles on this Wiki also have at least some factual accuracy? Derecho 00:53, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

Depends on the article, really. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:04, 18 May 2011

You helped develop the anti-death drug!

Liquid medicine
UnNews:Old people more likely to die, study shows made it into queue, and now old people will never have to die again! Thanks for your vote, man!

--Tophat headless 16:22, May 18, 2011 (UTC)


~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:09, 19 May 2011

Phnerb unsignpost

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:18, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: Best before Friday!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:15, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

Hurrah, it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:18, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Activate!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:17, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created HowTo:Wake Up From A Bad Reality, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Spelling and stuff

Thanks a lot for the corrections and links and stuff on HowTo:Make Breakfast Dew (For Women). Any stuff like that is super appreciated. --ShabiDOO 16:34, June 22, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome. I'm a closet grammar nazi. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 07:27, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

Catch it. Kill it. Bin it. It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:17, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

You voted for visual puns, which got featured!

Army Tank U

--Tophat headless 01:05, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

The Un-Sigh-npost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:18, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

It's free and it always will be; it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:16, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

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