User talk:Simsilikesims

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edit Motivational posters

Welcome back! But adding "Motivational posters" as a requested article? Is there any doubt that this would be fleshed out as an awful "page in the style of the thing it's about" — namely, a catalog of Best Of The Web?

Do you have the time to join the competition? It has served as a good excuse to crank out some new articles. Spıke Ѧ 19:43 2-Jan-15

I suppose I might be able to write oe about the aoyace of ot havig a workig "" key. Or about the difficulties of composig a article o a ipad. But the agai I am about to go ito busy seaso sice I work i taxes so I might ot have time with 12 hour shifts. Feel free to edit this to add the missig letter if it makes it easier for you to read.-- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:33, January 6, 2015 (UTC)

edit Sitenotice

And what, exactly, is cool about navy-and-chartreuse uniforms??? Spıke Ѧ 20:46 15-Jan-15

They don't clash as much as red and navy, with or without silver. Besides, blue and green are complementary colors. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:31, January 16, 2015 (UTC)

That is not green, that is chartreuse. It has no complementary color at all. Let the Battle of the Admins continue! Spıke Ѧ 15:56 16-Jan-15

Try telling that to the fans around here. There are blue & green cupcakes, blue & green pompoms, blue & green socks(like the ones I was given for Christmas), blue & green houselights, blue & green lights on the stadium, green & blue bows on little dogs, you get the picture. Besides, chartreuse is a light shade of green, and combined with blue it looks good in neon colors on the giant ferris wheel in downtown Seattle. I'm not much of a sports nut, but I occasionally like to watch in amusement, or if they make it to the Superbowl. Unless of course, I'm stuck working and the customers are watching a program in Spanish. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:18, January 17, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Christmas socks: Selfie or it didn't happen. Re: Spanish: Since when did "Dreamers" pay taxes? Spıke Ѧ 11:39 17-Jan-15

Selfie pending for sometime when I have more time, to be sent via email. Today I also noticed the checkstands at the grocery store lit up in light green, with navy and light green streamers hung between them. Too bad I didn't have a camera with me. "Dreamers" pay taxes more often than you'd think. If they are working under a SSN (theirs or not theirs) and having taxes withheld from their pay, then they are paying taxes, and may or may not be entitled to a refund since people with ITINS can still claim the child tax credit and education credits (but not the earned income credit). They even pay into social security, but if they don't have a SSN of their own they will never get any benefits from that. Besides, ITINs are in high demand. They are supposed to only be used for federal tax purposes, but some other places accept them too. If you want more details on ITINs, that info can be found on the IRS website, along with other information on tax treatment of "resident aliens". -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:51, January 20, 2015 (UTC)

Both ends of my post — that I need proof that you have chartreuse socks, and that Dreamers contribute nothing — are rhetorical. In fact, most economic activity is useful, and we all pay all taxes, as Obama should know despite his current plan to further raise taxes for the sake of reward and punishment of specific classes. The corporate tax should go away, as no one knows how much is translated to lower bonuses for executives, lower dividends and interest, higher prices, and lower shop wages; we only know that corporations don't suffer, they only cut the check. On illegals, the relevant question is not whether they contribute any money to Washington but whether it is worth the cost and better than the alternative; also whether winking about immigration law emboldens them to break other laws.

Not a problem, either, that you didn't see your team's comeback win over Green Bay, as I did. Two years from now, you will remember where you were on Sunday, and I won't remember any details of this game. Bottom line: A Packer who was sent out to block a Seahawk saw a free ball, instinctively lunged for it, and had it bounce off his face mask and back to the Seahawks, and that became the game. Spıke Ѧ 14:37 20-Jan-15

PS--UnNews:New England steals AFC trophy Spıke Ѧ 17:31 20-Jan-15

Thanks for filling in the missing details about the overtime game. I see we have a difference of opinion regarding the corporate tax. While the corporate tax has the potential to overtax small corporations, and provide excuses to larger corporations (to do what they would've done anyways) the alternative is to either cut budgets (government furloughs, longer wait times on hold for government offices, shorter government office hours, obsolete computers posing security risks, closed national parks, cuts to veterans benefits, cuts to social security, cuts to national defense) or raise taxes elsewhere, like on the rich or middle class households. If we raise taxes on the rich households, they probably would not stand for an income tax of more than 50 percent. So they would not likely be able to make up the difference. So that leaves the middle class, which might be defined as those households making between 25k and 75k per year. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 07:26, January 21, 2015 (UTC)
PS - UnNews:Earth attacked by godzilla again - Ugh. Do you want to rewrite this, or shall we just delete it? I'm leaning towards delete myself. Although the headline has potential if properly capitalized (it's Godzilla not godzilla), the content is beyond awful. Perhaps instead it could be written from the perspective of a building instead of the perspective of someone who thinks King Kong is superior to Godzilla. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 08:43, January 21, 2015 (UTC)

Sorry, I saw to that before I got to your post. Doesn't look like news, isn't based on news, ends with "byyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee", author is not a registered Uncyclopedian.

How about the two stubby articles about nothing, that reference one another, from Thebricke?

Xamralco deleted one of them last night and I just saw to the other. Spıke Ѧ 22:45 21-Jan-15

The play I described above did not happen in overtime but was the most dramatic of several things that sent a Packers rout into overtime. Conventional wisdom (which I doubt) is that the Packers "took their foot off the Seahawks' throat."

On the corporate tax, it is worse than corporations getting breaks to do what they would anyway. They get favors, they get a two-order-of-magnitude return on their campaign contribution, and the politician gets to take credit for all that economic activity (that would have happened anyway).

But the Democrat excuse on any tax cut is "How are you going to pay for it? Not by treating existing government workers miserly, but by reducing government's mandate. I would start (not the worst but most newsworthy) with the Department of Energy. It has not in its 38 years solved the "energy crisis" — mostly by trying to force us to curtail our lives — until achievers did it themselves with innovation, with the DoE kicking and screaming. Everything at Commerce can be privatized, everything Education does is better done locally and is done locally, and everything Labor does is harmful.

Some tax cuts pay for themselves, as the new Congress thankfully installed people at the CBO who are willing to try to measure. All the taxes Obama proposed raising last night are already beyond diminishing returns, suggesting that they will never do what he promised. (He admitted this during one of his campaigns but said it is a matter of "fairness.") PS--I am not a member of any "class," the US has no hard barriers to class mobility, nearly every American is both "rich" and "poor" at some point in our lives, and nobody's success ever made me fail. Spıke Ѧ 12:41 21-Jan-15

There may not be any "hard barriers" but there are certainly barriers, such as the rising cost (and diminishing returns) of college education, required prestige/luxury items to succeed in certain fields to impress the clientele/seal the deals, the cost of purchasing and maintaining a work wardrobe for white collar jobs, and so on. And if nobody's success ever made you fail then you certainly have never had your job outsourced overseas. This practice of outsourcing has the effect of making import/export businesses more successful and executives more successful as a result of getting a nice fat bonus for what they saved the company in labor costs by laying off US workers and hiring foreigners overseas for half the cost or less. And worse yet, if enough companies do that, and the minimum wage stays the same for years, soon we will become a nation of salespeople and service people, and nobody except upper management making enough money to buy much of anything except the bare basics to survive.
And as far as which taxes actually get increased or cut, those are a function of which lobbying group is loudest. If the loudest lobbying groups want more government services, taxes increase. If the loudest lobbying groups want reduced taxes, they tend to get decreased. Same as to where the tax money actually goes once it is collected. And some of what taxes are collected on the national level are distributed to the state and local level for state and local projects. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 10:41, January 23, 2015 (UTC)

Where to begin.

  1. The decreasing value of college (in this era, when everything is available on the Internet except the personal guidance to put it all together — and I provide a little of that here, nightly) owes mostly to massive government subsidies, and to every President since G.H.W. Bush declaring that everyone should have a degree from a bricks-and-mortar institution, no matter whether it makes the degree meaningless.
  2. The cost of doing business (good clothing, desire to out-compete one's competitors) is not a problem for government to solve; nor the possibility that someone else will do my job better (offshore or not) and I will have to find a different one. (And if you think foreign competition is a problem, one obvious answer is to get serious about border control — though I welcome workers and would only turn away the beggars.) "Nobody's success ever made me fail" does not mean "Nothing bad ever happens."
  3. Affordability is not a problem for government to solve; we all live within our budgets (and government does not). There are always shortages and costs. The minimum wage does not give anyone a raise; it merely declares an increasing set of jobs illegal to offer.
  4. We are a nation of salespeople and service people. We used to be 90% farmers, then we were manufacturers. There is no way the peacocks in Congress know who we will be in ten years — if they let us remain free.
  5. "Fat" executive bonuses, apart from revealing resentment that should not be the basis for US policy, are also a process of competition for good managers. The flip side after failure is a discreet but insistent hint to resign, not file unemployment, and not sue to keep one's pension if one wants to keep one's reputation.
  6. And yes, tax policy and other policy is based on lobbying (that is, "petition[ing] the government for redress of grievances"), and corporations can even make a movie ridiculing Hillary Clinton, no thanks to Obama's carping at the Justices during two State of the Unions. If you believe that corporations find it easier convincing Congress than they would find convincing us, that argues for taking more economic decisions out of its hands and leaving them in our hands.

Now, do you disagree that the new taxes Obama proposed would reduce the revenues of the federal government?

Back to Uncyclopedia, the football UnNews has become a diary of updates. Spıke Ѧ 15:21 23-Jan-15

Speaking of football, it looks like I'll be stuck at the office that Sunday again this year. End of the month reports for eight stores are due by the 5th, and I cannot start them until the first. So if I'm lucky I'll get to listen to the game from the back of a busy office, unless the Spanish channel is on again, or perhaps a soccer game.
As to the taxes Obama proposed - I just read the text of the State of the Union speech, and no specific taxes were proposed yet, just generalities implied. If the government taxes investments, it will not just hurt the rich, but also the retired senior citizens who depend upon their retirement investments, and will tend to discourage new investments in general. If people spend instead of invest, the economy will be boosted in the short term, but at the expense of the long term. And there was talk of "closing loopholes", but no specifics were given. If lobbyists put those loopholes in place, lobbyists will prevent them from being removed, regardless of who the extra tax money might help. Finally raising the minimum wage does indeed give raises to workers who work at the minimum wage, provided they remain employed after the minimum wage is raised (with the exception of states and localities who have already raised the local minimum wage above the federal minimum wage). It does not make jobs done by independent contractors illegal, provided that they are billed by the job rather than by the number of hours spent on it. (Example: A plasma donor might get $25 per donation, which takes 4-6 hours.) It does, however, tend to have a cause and effect type increase on the price of goods and services produced by higher paid workers. Whether it is worth more to reward a company that pays its workers a living wage, is a decision for consumers to make. As it stands now, in most areas it is not possible to support a family of 4 with one wage earner working full time on the minimum wage, and unlikely to support a family with childcare needs with two wage earners working full time on the minimum wage. Fast food & small business retailers typically do pay minimum wage, and actively discourage overtime pay. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 07:47, January 24, 2015 (UTC)

We are approaching agreement on the effects of higher taxes. Obama did not give the specifics in his speech, but the White House put out the details.

  • One notorious detail was a change in the rules for accounts where people were promised they could put money (after paying taxes on it) and let it grow tax-free to apply to education — quite a deal. Who knew there would be a tax on the other end?! Promises made by past Presidents? Who knew there were any other Presidents? Too rapacious even for Obama Spıke Ѧ 02:05 29-Jan-15
  • Glad you noted that taxes on investment don't just affect the rich guy who sees the tax, but not-so-enviable investors. They also affect everyone down the line, such as poor people who can't choose jobs that were never created.
  • "Provided they remain employed" is the key Big If to the minimum wage (and I don't care which level of government mandates it) and to Obama-care (which is a huge increase in the minimum wage for any business that does not drop its health plan). Searching for alternatives to using low-skill workers located within the USA is the way out of the minimum wage, and is the defining feature of the Obama economy. You simply cannot mandate that money go where it would not otherwise go and hope for no matching unintended side-effects.
  • No, it is not possible for one minimum-wage worker to support a family of 4. Nor a family of 16, nor have a summer home. Why should it be? Chinese fast-food workers sleep in bunks, day-laborers work night jobs and may fit in a college course, people get married, to save some money and live a better life in the future, while you state arbitrary goals for how good their present life should be, which will lead to policy that will take from them some of the ways they could advance. The minimum wage depends on a static view in which the poor stay poor forever unless "we" intervene. In fact, the minimum wage is the clearest example of class-based policy actually making class barriers more rigid by preventing upward mobility.

Investment is the corn you grow and, instead of eating it, you put it in the silo to plant it next spring and make more corn. Inducing people to "spend instead of invest" does not simply trade off a short-term boost for long-term pain; it extinguishes wealth. Obama's ARRA "stimulus" and Bush's "tax rebates" had no measurable effect — wheel-spinning is not forward movement, no matter what the speedometer reads — because, all other things being equal, financial rates and prices change to reflect the need to pay it back in the future. That everyone has to eat does not mean that we should eat the seed corn, and we are never better off doing so. As money multiplies exponentially, for every tax on investment, there is a year at which it will have extinguished more wealth than it raises for government. Spıke Ѧ 13:22 24-Jan-15

edit Banned from the Internet‎

I undid your change here, which placed a list item into the list instead of at the start of the article, because putting it at the start of the article illustrated the thing it was about: putting items at the start of articles. I tweaked it to make it a better start of the article.

Re: MediaWiki:Sitenotice, chartreuse is indeed blinding. There oughta be an investigation and fines handed out. More important than mere weather-caused ball pressure anomalies. Everyone just assumes that a cheating Head Coach is going to cheat again. PS--If you make a change that merits everyone seeing it and being asked to dismiss it again, remember to increment MediaWiki:Sitenotice id. I'll be online during the Super Bowl and may blog to the Site Notice as I did during the Conference game. Spıke Ѧ 13:22 27-Jan-15

Hm, that gives me an idea, though you might not like it. Anyway, sorry about not incrementing the sitenotice id. As to Banned from the Internet, I moved it because I didn't understand why it was at the start of the article. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 18:45, January 28, 2015 (UTC)

In fact, don't increment _id unless it does merit everyone seeing it; some back-and-forth between the two of us probably doesn't merit it. Spıke Ѧ 19:31 28-Jan-15

edit Super Bowl XLIX

I redid the Sitenotice to prepare for live action during the Super Bowl, but there was none, and it is now back to humping the Article Whisperer contest until there is some other news. WP:Super Bowl XLIX is a fine summary (go straight to Second Half). Even politics talk-show hosts here are calling for Coach Carroll's head (he coached the Patriots, long ago, and we considered him a better cheerleader than coach) because Carroll didn't give the ball to Lynch for a "certain" game-winning touchdown. But Lynch had the ball on the preceding down, and no call is stupid if no one expects it. The play resulted in a Pats interception by a guy whose name I should probably know but didn't.

The game was not over; there were 20 seconds left and the Pats were on the 1-yard line with no room to even kneel down without stopping the clock and giving youse two points and a kick-off, and you could then have won the game with just a field goal. What happened then was the key: The Seahawks' front line pushed or fell all the way across the line of scrimmage, then a few Seahawks instigated a fistfight; now the Pats had 20 yards and could take a knee. It was a contest of composure in the face of adversity and the Pats won it.

To return to a theme above, indeed I did not enjoy your sight gag at She Blinded Me with Science involving a graphic grabbed from the web with no humor added, and have replaced the whole thing with a smallish but adequate article based on the pop single. Spıke Ѧ 23:24 2-Feb-15

Thanks for the info on the game that I didn't have the opportunity to watch. Congratulations on your team winning. The graphic at She Blinded Me With Science was not grabbed from the web, but made by myself in Microsoft Paint. The in-joke was that I made the colors of the graphic chartreuse and cyan. Perhaps it would have made more sense had the lettering read "SCIENCE!" instead. (Which can be arranged, the graphic was easy to make.) But your idea was better than my bright (literally) idea. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 07:29, February 3, 2015 (UTC)

edit Delete Article This article isn't funny and horrible, please remove this suicidal people will read this and this does not help. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

There is a deletion process around here. Details can be found on QVFD and VFD. The article does not meet the QVFD criteria, so can only be deleted by vote. Besides, suicidal people should not visit humor sites, since usually their frame of mind does not detect humor in things that most would find funny or even impossible. Our goal at this site is not to help everyone who needs helping, but to entertain with humor. There is a phone number to the U.S. Crisis Hotline in the article, placed there upon the advice of Wikia staff, should someone actually be tempted to take it seriously. Feel free to add the Crisis Hotline in your country and the warnings that those who are into very dark humor will not take seriously to the talk page of the article. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 15:27, February 9, 2015 (UTC)
"There is a phone number to the U.S. Crisis Hotline in the article...." Where is it? I didn't see it. Maybe it got removed in a later edit. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:50, May 4, 2015 (UTC)
My mistake, the Crisis Hotline number is in the HowTo:Commit Suicide article. It is 1-800-273-8255. It was also in the Suicide article but got edited out I think. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 04:35, May 5, 2015 (UTC)
Funny there's two whole articles on committing suicide. There should be three. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:31, May 6, 2015 (UTC)
My mistake. THere's four or five on doing it. Suicide I mean. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:41, May 6, 2015 (UTC)

edit Deletion request from IRC

Hi, reappearing briefly to pass on DungeonSiegeAddict510's request that his user and talk pages be deleted by you. Hope everything is going well. -– Llwy-ar-lawr talkcontribs • 22:09 24 March 2015

No. Permabanned users are not entitled to have things on Uncyclopedia to their liking, particularly by making a request on a competing website, no Uncyclopedian is allowed to censor the record of his dealings with others, future Uncyclopedians may benefit by knowing how Denza got himself banned, and Denza was turned down the last time he asked. Do not help him evade his ban. Spıke Ѧ 00:38 25-Mar-15
Ok, sorry for wasting time, then. He didn't make the request on a competing website, though -- he made it via IRC in a PM with me, and the only IRC channels I use are Wikipedia-related. -– Llwy-ar-lawr talkcontribs • 04:07 25 March 2015
The talk page is unnecessarily long, & the user page should probably reflect that he is permabanned. I see no reason not to archive the talk page & add a template indicating that he is not coming back. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 16:17, March 25, 2015 (UTC)

edit UN:BAN

Despite our collaboration yesterday, I was watching toilet humor accumulate in hockey-related articles and thinking of the cartoon of two vultures sitting on a telephone pole. To paraphrase, "To hell with the Ban Policy: I'm going to kill something!" Spıke Ѧ 12:50 26-Mar-15

I usually protect pages when I see that sort of crappy edits going on by anon IPs. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 15:20, March 26, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, nice. Unfortunately, our URL seems to have been written on a toilet stall at an elementary school somewhere. It is time for some virtuoso babysitting, emphasizing complete sentences, avoiding stereotypes, and trying to be funny; otherwise I will save time and just mow them all down. Spıke Ѧ 23:34 26-Mar-15

PS--Perhaps you can get through to JudgesWigmaker, who is as prolific as he is unfunny. Spıke Ѧ 02:29 28-Mar-15

edit Bob the Builder

Anon has just added this article. We had an article before but it got a lethal {{Fix}}. Do you know where this draft came from, or why we have no history on it? Spıke Ѧ 16:51 31-Mar-15

Looks like a mirror of the article at (I'm not too worried about posting the link here since they are not much of a competitor.) By the way, did we do anything for April Fools Day this year? -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 04:51, April 2, 2015 (UTC)
What's up with not posting links? I couldn't post here at all for a month because of it. It took Wiki staff members to fix it for me. Also thanks for your message! :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:37, April 2, 2015 (UTC)
It is a policy put in place after the site split & forkers came back here to recruit our new users. The problem became so pervasive we ended up creating abuse filter rule to prevent it. Besides, you still can link to articles on this site by using double brackets as always. Example: [[Article Title]]. Besides, we don't want this site to be merely a catalog of stuff found elsewhere on the internet nor a bunch of links to youtube vids without any original content, nor advertising for other websites. There are some exceptions, but clear them with an admin first. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:55, April 2, 2015 (UTC)
I didn't know what this was all about until now. I finally found the other site. :D DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:35, May 6, 2015 (UTC)

edit Minecraft

Hello, gamer! Uncyclopedian Thetruemariozplaze has just added a large dollop of listy, vulgar, blogging about Minecraft characters. I panned it on his talk page but did not revert. Would you please evaluate it? Spıke Ѧ 10:49 30-Apr-15

Is editing one piped link all you are going to do to this long list? (On that assumption, I have marked zz's edits Patrolled.)
I just read in the business news that Microsoft had acquired Minecraft (in order to get some unrelated assets). Do these gamers realize that they have been assimilated into the Evil Empire? Isn't that worthy of a note in this article? Spıke Ѧ 20:28 1-May-15
I did not see anything wrong with the Minecraft characters, many have in-jokes that players of the game would get. Certainly the acquisition of Minecraft by Microsoft is noteworthy, but I don't know how to integrate that with this article, so I don't expect other editors to know either. Many new aspiring editors start with lists, and this "list" is well enough fleshed out that I don't think it counts as just a list. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 18:39, May 3, 2015 (UTC)

edit Hi

Just realized I haven't introduced myself yet. Hello Sims! --EStop (talk) 20:13, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

Hello EStop! A probably belated welcome to the wiki! -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 18:39, May 3, 2015 (UTC)

edit User:Chocochew/archive1

Is there any way to have an archive deleted? Chocochew (talk) 02:31, August 13, 2015 (UTC)

Depends on which archive, and why. Simsilikesims (talk) 00:09, August 20, 2015 (UTC)
Welcome back! He is trying to get his own archived talk page deleted. The answer is no. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:10 20-Aug-15
I do want my archive deleted. The archive has no comedic content and is actually very embarrassing to me, and there is no logical reason for it to be kept other than to humiliate me. I would very much appreciate if it was deleted. Chocochew (talk) 05:24, August 22, 2015 (UTC)
Despite our rule about not deleting any messages, I support Chocochew here. Right now, the archive serves is nothing more than a needless embarrassment and punishment for one of users. Spike usually says it's important to keep track of all the past conversations, including controversies, to be able to refer to them afterwards, but I believe that if such occasion arises later (which I quite doubt) it won't be too hard for an admin to find that past conversation through his talk page's history (I checked it and it's all there). Anton199 (talk) 22:03, August 23, 2015 (UTC)
Trawling through deleted talk pages is an unnecessary job to undertake for any admin. It also helps future admins (and non admins too) a way to quickly check on a user's history too. Unless it is vandalism, abuse or porn, talk pages should always be kept in my view. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:29, August 24, 2015 (UTC)
The text in question, which OP tried to delete piecemeal before Admin-shopping for the entire page to be deleted, was 2.3K of self-justifying bluster that showed that the entire contribution was not to improve the website but to get someone in authority to take him as seriously as he takes himself. ("ONCE AGAIN, READ EVERYTHING CAREFULLY.") It is a useful reminder to me and a useful guide to future Admins of what they are dealing with if OP should return to work on additions and not just deletions. If the page were deleted, all Admins would have to go on is a user talk page containing a single link, which would then be a red-link — unless they fished through deleted pages without even knowing why they should. Spıke Radiomicrophone16:46 25-Aug-15
I am completely aware of how stupid I sound on the page, which is the exact reason why I want it deleted. I've reread these responses multiple times, and I don't see what could possibly be useful about the page. I understand it is a good way to check user history, but as I said, I'm done with Uncyclopedia because I'm well aware of how terrible I am at it. The only reason I'm still writing is because the page is so embarrassing that I can't stand it's existence. If the problem is needing to refer to history in event of future incident, I would be more than happy to have this account permabanned in exchange for the archive's deletion. Chocochew (talk) 01:38, August 26, 2015 (UTC)
And Spike, to save you 9 bytes or so of words, "God damn it Chocochew, you just wasted 1.5k or so bytes of your life on that stupid rant-ish thing!" you're right, It was stupid. That was a terrible impression of how you would write(srry). Chocochew (talk) 01:38, August 26, 2015 (UTC)
A rant here in favor of deleting a rant elsewhere, proving my point that OP believes it is all about him. It will be embarrassing when OP petitions for the deletion of Simsie's archived talk page to erase the embarrassment that OP continues to generate. The utility of preserving your archived talk page is that future Admins won't have to guess the point that you tirelessly continue to make, before you tirelessly continue to end it by making it personal. Jeezus. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:27 26-Aug-15
I don't see what this is all about. It sounds ridiculous. I think Chocochew couldn't be asking for his own talkpage archive deleted in a more courteous manner and I don't see what possible utility this archive could have in any case. If Chocochew "should return to work on additions", the reaction to his edits should not be based on anything he could have done previously, but on the additions themselves. Working through the deleted pages is unnecessary: the archive is just a copy of the past discussion, of which the history of User_talk:Chocochew gives an accurate record and this anyone, not just admins, can look up if the archive is deleted. "It will be embarrassing when OP petitions for the deletion of Simsie's archived talk page to erase the embarrassment that OP continues to generate" is unnecessady speculation: users don't have authority over what is or isn't on someone else's talkpage and I am sure Chocochew is aware of this. It basically seems like a non-issue around a simple user request evolving into another dispute and I fail to see the rules that would justify this. I also fail to realize why we can't respond with minimum civilty to someone who is simply asking for help and have to, instead, prove points and wade into long-winded discussions about how this argument evolves, while the simplest solution to end this argument would be to delete a single page, the contents would still be simple to find. "Jeezus." Anton (talk) 13:36, August 26, 2015 (UTC)
Anton199, get off your soapbox. You have two Admins, above, explaining the utility of keeping past user talk pages visible. Now you have gone beyond unsolicited advocacy for a user who has contributed even less than you have recently, and who plans not to do so in the future either, and have joined the effort to hinder efforts to find this page, using a move and blanking. Please sit out your ban with my compliments. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:06 26-Aug-15

I'm sorry about all of this. I've created a shit ton of trouble. I'm satisfied with the condition of my account now and will proceed to pack my bags and move out. C ya! Chocochew (talk) 03:14, August 27, 2015 (UTC)

edit Signature test

User:Simsilikesims/sig (talk) 01:33, August 28, 2015 (UTC) Simsilikesims 01:36, August 28, 2015 (UTC) -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 01:38, August 28, 2015 (UTC) Test concluded. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 01:39, August 28, 2015 (UTC)

edit Sega Genesis/Mega Drive

Should this article be named "Sega Mega Drive" and not "Sega Genesis"? I know the majority of the editors here are British and might feel an allegiance to that name, but I feel as though "Genesis" is far more widely-recognized in the context of retrogaming and 16-bit legacy.--EpicWinner (talk) 03:09, September 17, 2015 (UTC)

I'd vote for Sega Genesis, because that's what I'm familiar with in the US. If it was called Sega Mega Drive in the UK though, it is a toss-up. Either way, a redirect should be created. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 19:33, September 18, 2015 (UTC)
When I try to move it, it says it's already been moved under that name and is a tangle of redirects. Can you fix this?--EpicWinner (talk) 19:56, September 18, 2015 (UTC)
I'll look at it, to see if it is a double redirect. Looks like the article is at Mega Drive, and both Sega Mega Drive and Sega Genesis redirect there, last I checked. For now, let's not move anything more. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:37, September 18, 2015 (UTC)
PS I don't see any double redirects, so we should be ok with both Sega Genesis and Sega Mega Drive redirecting to Mega Drive.---- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:38, September 18, 2015 (UTC)

edit Vice City

After some minor vandalism, I have been cleaning up this article, as it is fun to write stuff about urban dysfunction (such as comparisons to Detroit) that seems to relate to something. However, you might have played the actual Grand Theft game and might have additional material that really does relate to something. Spıke Radiomicrophone21:57 23-Sep-15

No, the Grand Theft series never interested me much. The first Grand Theft Auto that came out I got the impression it was too easy to lose the game by becoming "Busted" or "Wasted", and the second one I lost while playing the demo in the store because you start GTA2 with a bomb implanted in your character. Hopefully subsequently GTA got better (I might try it again someday when I have more spare time), but I'm not familiar enough with the game to add some insider jokes while making them understandable to outsiders. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:43, September 24, 2015 (UTC)
I've played it and will go through. Unfortunately our satellite system is undergoing maintenance (we were notified 20 minutes after maintenance commencemed so I have lost my first hour of edits), but will return to it.  EStop Easy button 10:46, October 26, 2015 (UTC)

edit User:Simsilikesims/HowTo:Ask a girl to homecoming‎‎

Thanks, userspacing this is a better move, as was inviting Anon to register and make a commitment to the joint. Vanity use of the content spaces ought to be avoided, whether the message is (1) Efficient Phillipine matchmaking services, (2) Visit our fine new website, (3) Give up water tomorrow in solidarity, or (4) Won't you be my Valentine; and we ought not treat these differently based on our opinion of that message. I await your addition of a complete reference guide to Dates From Hell I Have Had. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:19 29-Sep-15

edit VFH

Your last featuring gave one article a relatively short run on the main page, but that was okay, as "Yesterday's Feature" was as blank as "Today's Feature" had been. But you're doing another one today? No one is nominating or voting quickly enough to support this pace. Including you; and we have a fresh set of awful articles for you at VFD as well. Spıke Radiomicrophone04:09 26-Oct-15

Actually, I was just setting up the next feature for 2 days from now. It is slotted for about the 27th or 28th of October. If I had put it for 3 days from now, we would probably get another blank Main Page, unfortunately. I will take a look (and hopefully a vote) at VFH and VFD. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 04:13, October 26, 2015 (UTC)

All right; thanks! Spıke Radiomicrophone04:23 26-Oct-15

edit Vandal patrol

Thanks for the clean-up; this guy is indeed a returning vandal and has no intention of contributing positively. Nevertheless, I never ban IPs for more than 3 months except when there is a pattern going back longer, as they just change their addresses. Also, the legend you selected when deleting his files, plus leaving the summary of their former contents, was so long that the legend omits which IP he was (though it will be in the Huff Log). I use Special:Nuke to get them all with one click. Spıke Radiomicrophone05:10 2-Nov-15

edit New article on Russian Language

Dear Simsilikesims,

I was snooping about yesterday and I noticed that the Russian language does not have its own article. Obviously, this is an outrage and must immediately be rectified. However, I have only a level 3 understanding of the language. I have friends and family members I can ask for help, and I don't really plan to write all that much in the actual language. Do you still think it's a good idea to do this?

Sincerely, Makefolkslaugh --Makefolkslaugh ([[User [The user FORMERLY known as Princelogo]:Makefolkslaugh|talk]]) 01:19, November 3, 2015 (UTC)

If I may kibitz, not writing much in the actual language is a very fine idea, because our articles should be funny for readers of English. Obviously the best jokes are misconceptions that English-speakers have about Russian and not things that Russian-speakers know about Russian. Start the article at User:Makefolkslaugh/Russian language and I will look in, as I have a level 0.1 understanding (I can usually sound words out). Spıke Radiomicrophone01:24 3-Nov-15
I would agree with Spike here. If you wanted to write an article about the Russian language *in* Russian, you would look for the Russian uncyclopedia (which I understand is called absurdopedia). You can also see Uncyclopedia:Babel and Uncyclopedia:Foreign Office for details. This is the English uncyclopedia, for English speakers, so the majority of the article should be in English, though it may feature some translations that are humorous. Every language has its oddities. Imagine the confusion of someone learning English who found out that through, and threw, are pronounced the same. Or imagine the puzzle of this English sentence: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. (Look it up in wikipedia if you don't believe me that it is a grammatically correct sentence.)-- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 04:34, November 5, 2015 (UTC)

edit UN:RFM

Let me know what you think so far. Leave notes on the talk page, so all development stuff is collated in the one place. (Eventually this will be Uncyclopedia:Request for Move, as UN:RFR does not relate to renaming.) The previous edit was by PuppyOnTheRadio (Talk). 00:58, December 20, 2015 (UTC)

So far, it looks good, as far as formatting goes. If it works functionally, I think we can take the WIP tag off it and move it to the right place, adding the shortcut UN:RFM. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 01:12, December 20, 2015 (UTC)

edit Two days in a row!

Welcome back! Thank you for featuring Stockbroker! Over at VFD, we have been using a Three Admin rule for sufficiently stale nominations, and there is some new cruft there that you could push over the edge (or even rescue). Spıke Radiomicrophone22:55 31-Dec-15

Woke up very early in the a.m. yesterday, and today. That seems to be happening more often lately, unfortunately. In other news, tax peak season is coming soon: Our offices are busiest between Jan 15th and Feb 15th, and from April 1st to April 15th. I go back to work full-time (from a part time schedule) starting the second week of January. I'll check VFD out. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 23:01, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks! On Wikia, let me delete the old article and move in the opposite direction, as the article with the meat now is not where you would look for it. Spıke Radiomicrophone23:10 31-Dec-15

Ok, I already blanked the page and put in a redirect, then protected the page to be edited by admins only. I'm having some trouble sticking on the oldvfd tag on the talk page. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 23:11, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

You ought to let me close the ballot and Poopsmith Expert3222 do the paperwork; he's been diligent. I see the one with the goofy name was a feature by Hindleyite; I need to go in and document the move, such as in the Hall of Shame. Spıke Radiomicrophone23:24 31-Dec-15

Want to illustrate my stubby replacement Heroin (sandwich and/or addict)? Spıke Radiomicrophone23:51 31-Dec-15

Sandwich addict picture added, courtesy of Yelp. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 00:02, January 1, 2016 (UTC)

Covers both the bases! I moved [Image:...] to a line by itself (at the top of the page) because if you put it inside a paragraph, Uncyclopedia doesn't enclose the paragraph in <P> tags; harmless to most readers but I have a fancy local rule for paragraphs and I see the difference. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:06 1-Jan-16

edit Buy-to-let on VFD

Buy-to-let, in British, transliterates to: Buy (a house) for the sake of renting it out; that is, become an absentee owner or slumlord. That it is UK-centric is not a fatal flaw, and given its UK emphasis, I thought it explained the concept adequately. Even if it did so better, however, it was written to rant (starting with "human parasite....Notoriously right wing and self righteous" and continuing throughout), not to amuse; also to convey a specific point of view on British party politics. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:11 1-Jan-16

Happy new year Simsie!
It was a huge thing during the "property boom", to the point that there are specific "buy to let" mortgages. It is nothing that has not gone on for years everywhere else, but these "Trump" wannabees were an element of the 2008 crash.
The way I saw it in my ignorance was: as house prices were rocketing, people wrongly saw the upward trend as a "profit" rather than a "currency" against the pound. This is what property value is really if you are staying on the property market, because every other property price is rocketing too.
Surprisingly, and rather ironically considering what the article is trying to say, the banks and Gordon Brown (the "working class" Labour Prime Minister) saw it as a profit too. As tenants were technically paying the mortgage on the properties, landlords were getting mortgage extensions based on their equity for more buy to let properties; as well as paying off their credit cards, loans, lawyers and speedboats.
Of course equity is always going to be a moving target, which they soon discovered when people couldn't afford to buy houses anymore, or pay for their own, or rent. The article is bashing Thatcher and right-wing "toffs", not property mismanagement, which is why it does not work (Poe's Law). I'll add to the to do list for a total re-write.  EStop Easy button 10:12, January 1, 2016 (UTC)

There is fun to be had here if, indeed, it didn't come off as advocacy/grudge-rant from start to end. On the crash, any time "the market is not working" (Dubya), see what the government has done to it; in our case, put banks on notice that licensing agencies will test racial equality of results and compel issuance of mortgages regardless of ability to pay (Clinton), stand pat as banks are satisfied at the extra business, implicit bail-out, and hurdles for new banks (Dubya), have federal agencies buy up bad loans and repackage them to prevent analysis (Everyone), claim the crash was the start of a weird contagion rather than working out the bad decisions (McCain) and wind up with a new super-agency to preapprove routine banking decisions (Obama). So you can ridicule the political system too, just not cast individuals of one party as evil. Regardless of how the UK buyers viewed their home equity, everyone everywhere thought it would go on forever. We have bolted all our yachts together so we are now unsinkable; unfortunately, in this respect, the US solution is the same as the problem. Spıke Radiomicrophone12:07 1-Jan-16

There is a bit of a curfuffle this morning because Osborne has canned the investigation into questionable Banking practices. I note he has decided to reveal this, as the UK is waking up to the sound of fizzing Alka-Seltzer (rather than say, bailing out their kitchens or swimming from their cars). It has been a while since the papers had an article on those that choose to live their lives on credit, with no intention of paying anything off. At least the advertisements telling people they are actually allowed to do so, with the blessing of government have also ceased, which has probably annoyed the John Lewis Partnership.  EStop Easy button 13:36, January 1, 2016 (UTC)

We are having a months-long investigation into questionable Governing practices, which will hit here on 9-Feb. Regarding swimming from cars, not everyone can have as much fun as you do. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:41 1-Jan-16

Yes, that was a hoot... It has come to light that the Environment Agency has held back on certain flood defenses, in lieu of protecting the habitat of the "lesser spotted marsh warbler."  EStop Easy button 13:59, January 1, 2016 (UTC)

Cripes! Youse must be looking toward California, now under Draconian water restrictions but unable to green-light a second desalinization plant (having dithered about the first one for a decade), nor raise the Shasta Dam halfway to its originally planned height for "cultural" reasons. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:25 1-Jan-16

So few opportunities for a bit of "self reflection".  EStop Easy button 15:03, January 1, 2016 (UTC)

edit Why?:Does Everyone Hate Sonic the Hedgehog‎

Very new Uncyclopedian KKzero2015 has given this article a new dollop of what it already had: Ranty writing. As the Council's video-game expert, is this just "bringing the article up-to-date" or is it just more bad writing? Does a category-feature in the Why?: namespace mean it is immune from further building, like a FA? Is it immune from VFD nomination? Spıke Radiomicrophone14:53 2-Jan-16

I would say it is not immune from further building, but is immune from VFD nomination. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 21:05, January 2, 2016 (UTC)

All right; but is yesterday's edition anything other than a waste of the reader's time? Spıke Radiomicrophone21:09 2-Jan-16

Half-Life 2 is a well-known shooter video game. I'm not much into shooters, but this one was well publicized, and got lots of rave reviews. So a comparison with Half-Life 2 makes some sense here. There were also a couple additions to the list of what was wrong with individual Sonic games to update it with recent games. The list at least seems decently fleshed out, for a list, and there is some justification for it - IE not being like the "hot bitchy girl" who criticizes everything without telling you what you can do to fix things, who is described in the article. There is also some precedent in using lists in alternative namespaces, such as the HowTo: namespace. But with this long listy section, it will never be a Main Page Feature. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 00:55, January 3, 2016 (UTC)

Very well; I have marked the edit Patrolled and welcomed the editor. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:03 3-Jan-16

edit Uncyclopedia:How pages work

New "policy page" (not exactly policy) is under development, based on a point that Expert3222 made on my talk page about RFM. Your input is welcome. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:59 3-Jan-16

edit UN:BGBU

I rewrote the Beginner's Guide to address chronic problems with beginners, rather than to make a statement about ourselves. Your comments are welcome as usual. Spıke Radiomicrophone04:31 8-Jan-16

I restored some pages from the BGBU before the BGBU that you rewrote. You might consider restoring more of them. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 08:52, January 8, 2016 (UTC)

Appending a second document to this document (and a second copy of the navigation template!) is not the solution. And the tone of the second document is different from the first, and I don't like it: Still chatty so as to convince the newbie what funny guys we are. We need to rein in the language that is jaunty but imprecise; for example, after that newbie with an attitude quoted me "lies and misinformation" from the earlier draft of BGBU to justify his bad edits. Lies and misinformation (simply stating falsehoods) is not what we do, nor simply stating random information; humor is what we do. "TL:DR" suggests "no one actually reads this part," and "...add to the larger mass of porn" is begging to be misunderstood. Citing Kitten Huffing may lead newbies to imitate (Let's try to get them to HTBFANJS first!), and strikethrough as the narrator is indecisive relies on a technique that HTBFANJS begs the user to move past.

As nearly all of the introductory pages now include the nav-template, let us not use links at the end to try to push the reader to read every single one in sequence. One original problem with BGBU is that it was essentially a directory to other pages, and so was its See Also, and so was its nav-template. And finally, you should not muse about the current state of disinterest in the welcome message to newbies. It's not as bad as you make it seem; Romartus and I wait until newbies do actual editing before welcoming them. But I will take your point, and make it, early on, that the newbie can make the first move if not welcomed promptly.

PS--Did you see Strangehal complain last night that the main page has expired again? Spıke Radiomicrophone14:43 8-Jan-16

TL:DR is addressed to the "Twitter generation" that has an attention span of a gnat. It doesn't mean that "nobody actually reads the whole thing". I actually used to like the multi-page format of the BGBU, especially because there was a "prize" at the end. Keep in mind that our writers are volunteers too, and nonmonetary rewards (since we don't have any other kind) are a good motivator. Also, I'm not into sports like you are, and not all editors are likely to be into sports. Some may even be into rap music, where hogging the mic and having rap battles are a thing. I think what you rewrote there is easy to understand, however, but it doesn't say everything that used to be in the BGBU but got deleted later. I'm not sure what you don't like about the tone of the original document (before EMC turned it into pictorial links), but it doesn't strike me as "trying too hard to be funny". Instead, it tells the reader that it is okay to have a sense of humor about yourself. If you have ideas for better example pages, substitute those for "Kitten Huffing" and "I burning your dog" instead (those are awfully old features). If the format of the links is depreciated, feel free to update them. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:25, January 9, 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for your post-edit. But I redid the section on "Ignorable Policies" because comparing them to traffic signs is exactly the wrong thing to do. Traffic signs (around here) are serious (except for the New England "rolling stop" through a stop sign), whereas Ignorable Policies are meant to be broken, if the result is funny.

What I didn't like about the original tone is that there was too much self-amusement in the way of giving information to the newbie; in the revision I started from, a lot of repetition to feed the line that we don't like repetition, a rule that is important neither to us nor to the reader. So the author won't get down to business because he is too busy developing a bit of irony. Teachers always need to focus on the lesson and not go on a riff of "Just watch a pro do it."

The problem with spoon-feeding it to the reader with links in the text, links in the See Also, and links with {{Main}}, is that it gives the reader no sense of how big the lesson is, until the links he clicks start to be pages he's already read once. That tall nav-template is a nice list of all the areas the newbie might need to know. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:15 9-Jan-16

edit Examples

Above you mention your desire to give the newbie examples of good Uncyclopedia articles. This is dangerous, as the newbie will want to make a splash by doing the exact same thing, as with the flurry of "My Sojourn" articles that Anton199 finally pulled together into their own directory last year, while the veteran will just tell the newbie, "Look at how a pro does it." If we mention Oscar Wilde and Kitten Huffing, we will get a flurry of new triteness.

What we need is a page that lists all the different ways to be funny (omitting meme-cruft!). One example is AAAAAAAA: Pursuing incoherence, but with determination and a plan, seamless incoherence even in the illustrations and categories. Another approach is to read the Wikipedia article and render it with twists, as in my Michigan city-cruft. In Hmor, Romartus and I started from the "Humo(u)r" meme and finished with an article written entirely without the letter u. In the "Other Jebs" section of Jeb Bush, I took a name and a Google search and pulled it in a variety of directions. And my Choice of Words already touts Dianalysis and its deliberate word jumbles.

Do you have a short list of featured Uncyclopedia articles that could serve as diverse examples not just of good articles but the different strategies they followed to become good? The above paragraph is mostly a digest of my stuff, and an Examples article should not be. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:41 10-Jan-16

I would actually suggest hitting the random feature button until you have found enough articles that meet our current standards. Watermelon is a good one - written in love poetry style, colored in red and green, yet actually describing a watermelon (as the subject of the love poem) quite well. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 00:40, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

Yikes! I go there mostly when VFD is getting low! I'd much rather a guidance page for newbies pick from our best, rather than pick from articles I have just tripped over. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:12 11-Jan-16

Wait a minute, we don't delete features on VFD. That is why I suggested the random feature button rather than the random button. The random feature link picks at random from articles on UN:BEST. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:40, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

edit 2006 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl

For a handsome photo of a prize, write an article on Kiss and/or one on Martin O'Malley by the end of the Super Bowl, which of course you wouldn't think of watching. Spıke Radiomicrophone12:18 28-Jan-16

I don't know...2006 was a long time ago. Kiss definitely has possibilities though. ---- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 12:33, January 28, 2016 (UTC)

edit Wheat flour

A propos of this, I am on my fourth container of nice, chewy Bulgur wheat (never buying couscous again), while my own bugaboo is in remission thanks to Almond Milk, which is great on Shredded...never mind. Have also discovered stevia sweetener, Walmart house brand is fine. I don't trust the zero-calorie claim given the evasions allowed on Nutrition Facts, but it smells creamy and improves everything. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:52 1-Feb-16

Enjoy the wheat for me. Speaking of Nutrition Facts, did you know that lunchmeat that is brined in a sugar solution doesn't have to list the sugar in that solution as part of the sugar content of that lunchmeat? More sugar = more calories, so no wonder Americans are getting fatter. That, plus certain medications have obesity as a possible side effect, including some that I am taking. But probably most to blame is our collective sweet tooth - if it isn't loaded with sodium, it is probably loaded with sugar. Which is why diabetics on low-sodium diets tend to cook their own foods from scratch rather than eat the processed junk. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 06:21, February 2, 2016 (UTC)

Did not know that, but did know there are many reasons not to trust these Facts. As a surgeon friend told me (and I worked into American cuisine), your product can be "fat-free" if you eliminate triglycerides and substitute mono- and di- rather than depending on digestion to do it: no difference. I do not blame agribusiness but indiscipline; and when we try to solve agribusiness with regulation, we get: collusion. Spıke Radiomicrophone12:04 2-Feb-16

edit 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl

Flat football

Thank you for competing in the 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl!

Your entry, User:Simsilikesims/Kiss, did not win a prize but it is on its way toward inclusion in the main encyclopedia! Please keep improving it! Spıke Radiomicrophone13:33 14-Feb-16

edit Ea:

The joke here is lost on me too, so I posted to Codeine, who was involved in its early stages, asking him what this is about. Apart from that, please vote on our other VFD nominations.

Also, thanks for apparently clicking to ask Wikia to vet my edits in MediaWiki:, as all the little dots are now green. Unfortunately, copypasting User:SPIKE/watchgadget-v2.js to MediaWiki:Unwatch-Rewatch.js from the overview (as I cannot edit it) seems to have broken it. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:57 21-Feb-16

Looking at the page, from what little I know of programming (I took PASCAL and COBOL in college, and dropped out of Data Structures in C - mostly cause I hadn't taken the basic level class before the intermediate level class), it looks like the code in the page may be referencing the old page name (the title of the old .js page) somehow. Anyway, that is my odd guess, and probably the first place to start debugging. Also, you're welcome on the clicking to ask Wikia to check those pages for you. It took me all of 3 minutes (if that). Now I'm off to watch DC Legends of Tomorrow with my hubby. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 04:11, February 21, 2016 (UTC)

"watchgadget" is the name of the old page, and is also the name of a JavaScript data structure that the page defines, but I don't think that the new page should fail on that basis. (Nor that anyone at Wikia will care to debug it.) My guess is that tabs got translated to spaces, or some such thing, by the copypaste. We are spending an inordinate amount of time learning to live within the new Wikia procedures, not unlike doctors taking time away from patient care to learn the diagnosis-coding regulations and my carpenter quoting me chapter and verse of the Code. Spıke Radiomicrophone04:30 21-Feb-16

I would suggest that Puppy take a look at it, since he probably has more up-to-date knowledge of this kind of coding than I do. ---- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:22, February 21, 2016 (UTC)

edit S corp

So you are losing some of your hearing too? Increasingly mis-hearing things is a blessing in terms of comedy concepts. Yes, Ford did come out with the S Corp, I put an item into Minitrue on "hearing" the news that, in Normandy, they were celebrating the anniversary of eBay (one person tried to start it but it wasn't any good), and recently I tried to blur Ben Carson's resignation speech at CPAC with the CPAP machine that Justice Scalia seems to have fatefully left on the nightstand by mistake. Cheers for writing your lead down, for future action, whenever. Maybe it is not mishearing but fantasizing while the news is on.... Spıke Radiomicrophone01:37 11-Mar-16

No, actually a coworker misheard something we were talking about at work. I thought it was a good inspiration for a future article. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 02:01, March 11, 2016 (UTC)

edit Worst 100 Reflections on 2015

Well? Spıke Radiomicrophone13:14 11-Mar-16

PS--After combing through the Village Dump, I have now combed through my 2015 talk page archives and added everything that seems of a "general and permanent nature," as they say in the New Hampshire Revised Statutes. Between us, we are up to 24 items. I don't think we will get to 100. As with my Worst bumper stickers and our collaboration on Worst songs to play at a funeral, we should dump the quantitative goal, lest it invite the addition of "filler." Spıke Radiomicrophone22:40 13-Mar-16

edit Signature

You are still spitting out too much HTML onto pages where you sign them. Please put this code inside a signature file, even if the name of it is constrained by the name you have given it on other Wikia wikis.

And even if you don't do that, please fix the code, because the SPAN tags don't match up with /SPAN. Spıke Radiomicrophone21:01 13-Mar-16

My signature file can be found at User:Simsilikesims/sig. I'm not sure what you mean about putting the code inside a signature file: I use {{subst:User:Simsilikesims/sig}} in my preferences. I tried it without the subst part, but it didn't come out right. If you could fix the span tags for me without changing the appearance, that would be appreciated. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 08:54, March 14, 2016 (UTC)

This is done. If you will follow the instructions at UN:SIG (list item #2) exactly, it should work. NOSUBST means don't substitute when you sign, but only when it is called (when a page you signed is rendered). Spıke Radiomicrophone09:28 14-Mar-16

Thank you. I fixed my preferences line to match the instructions, and for added security protected the page against edits by non-admins (since I noticed in the page history a vandal had messed with it in January last year after you had protected it from non-autoconfirmed users). Hopefully that will help. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 09:46, March 14, 2016 (UTC)


Moved two of your new comments to nearby sections where we had said almost the same thing. Spıke Radiomicrophone11:34 16-Mar-16

One thing you should know about these "make your own meme" websites is that the visitor to that website provides both the picture and the caption to the website, and the website spits out the captioned picture. For example, upload a cat picture, type in "I has a meme" as the caption, and you have a cat picture captioned like a meme that says "I has a meme". However, these websites also often furnish top memes galleries created with that website. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 11:43, March 16, 2016 (UTC)

It seems the advice is still sound. It sounds comparable to "motivational posters," which is discussed nearby where I moved your new note. Spıke Radiomicrophone11:57 16-Mar-16

PS--Two days ago I again changed MediaWiki:Common.js. I re-coded the [show]/[hide] buttons on expandable templates, because it's easier to see what they do with jQuery than watching them manually count through all the DIVs on a page looking for the right one. Also deleted a function written by Spang that seems never to be called and claims to "fix XML bugs" though pages should be rendered correctly by now. I need someone with a modern browser to please click on Review status so Wikia will review these edits and make them visible to others on the site. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:05 16-Mar-16

edit Uncyclopedia:Userspace

On your recent edit: Wikia will surely have a wiki on any such television tournament, and it will surely have humorless stuff like a scorecard, where the ill-advised Uncyclopedian might even find fellow fans to share the editing duties. Spıke Radiomicrophone04:43 20-Mar-16

Yes, exactly. And if they don't, there is a place on where fans can create new wikis. Our web host currently has a push going on towards fan wikis - they call it "Fandom". -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 04:45, March 20, 2016 (UTC)
It has been a while since I was last here, do you still want me to take a look at this or is it now stamped and signed up?  EStop Easy button 17:10, March 31, 2016 (UTC)
It is mostly done, thanks to Spike, but please look at it to see what you think of it. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 17:11, March 31, 2016 (UTC)

edit VFD

Enough brooming of our proverbial welcome mats; come to VFD and participate in (or argue against) some real vacuuming! Spıke Radiomicrophone17:00 20-Mar-16

edit Click it again please

Since you clicked Review status on MediaWiki:Common.js, my web console noted an unclosed parenthesis on the page. It didn't break the code but now indications of an UnNews audio aren't working, so the error might have broken the rest of the page. Would you please click it again? Spıke Radiomicrophone00:33 22-Mar-16

Hmm, the above makes no sense, because I should be seeing my most recent Common.js, and the only point to clicking it is for everyone else to see it. It seems nothing in there is working right now, although it did before. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:00 22-Mar-16

edit Policy pages

I reverted your re-addition of large text to the bottom of two of our policy pages, explaining in the Edit Summary that any newbie who really wants to read our entire Beginner's Guide in a specific order can go by the nav-template, which at Expert3222's request, is now attached to all of them. Found and deleted Uncyclopedia:Disagreements (well covered by the others) and Uncyclopedia:Uncyclopedia is serious business (less than one sentence with no real policy guidance), and thought that Beginner's Guide/Graduation (with two of its paragraphs disastrously indented with spaces) was just ugly. Spıke Radiomicrophone23:03 24-Mar-16

I would agree that Uncyclopedia:Disagreements had become redundant. However, there was a reason I had put the text there at the bottom. Also, Beginner's Guide/Graduation had a purpose - it had on it the template that was the reward for following all the links, a template that users could put on their user page that wasn't found elsewhere. One thing I liked about the style of the Beginner's guide that was here when I first came to Uncyclopedia, was that it didn't confront you with a large wall of text. That sort of thing tends to be intimidating to new users. The links I restored before you deleted them again had a particular order, and included things not covered in the nav box. Also, mobile users with tiny screens may not be able to read the nav box well. So anyways, I am restoring Beginner's Guide/Graduation until a better place for the template referenced on it, {{MOOU}} can be found. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:01, March 25, 2016 (UTC)

OK. The Beginner's Guide remains separated into modules and not a wall of text, but the nav-template lets everyone find everything, and even read everythiing if so inclined. Less so HTBFANJS even after detaching the stuff that is style rather than rule into Choice of Words. Uncyclopedia medals and heraldry is in decline since Zim ulator left. Meanwhile, do you think it's time for another contest? Would you like to judge? If the deadline is after April 15? Spıke Radiomicrophone11:56 25-Mar-16

I wouldn't mind a new contest, but probably we should wait until May. It would need have to have a deadline after April 25th, for me to judge in a timely manner, since this year the deadline is April 18th for taxes (due to a DC holiday) and we sometimes get stragglers in the week following the tax deadline. I'll probably still be working full-time until May, since I do bookkeeping for the tax business. After that, probably my hours will be cut to 1 or 2 days/week when we close the satellite offices. Speaking of awards, Wikia has some automatic awards that can be enabled on the admin dashboard by switching temporarily to Wikia skin. These awards can only be viewed by users who are using the Wikia skin though. I haven't enabled them, because it seems too easy to make 200 edits (one of the Wikia awards) without making GOOD edits. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 07:33, March 26, 2016 (UTC)

I have set the deadline (and the start of the judging period) to be identical to the filing deadline, and warned entrants about your duty to minister to stragglers. If Codeine steps up as the third judge, you are off the hook; otherwise, do what you can; you might find it comic relief. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:18 30-Mar-16

PS--Codeine has agreed to be the third judge. Spıke Radiomicrophone22:14 5-Apr-16

edit Category:Transportation

Please don't readd pages to this category if there is a more precise category that is a subcat of Transportation. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:26 5-Apr-16

Oh, okay. I'll have to check on that. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 03:27, April 5, 2016 (UTC)

See also the bottom of User talk:Expert3222; he did a large merge today at my suggestion. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:30 5-Apr-16

About that - I just weighed in on the discussion. I don't think that the two categories CAN be fully merged. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 03:41, April 5, 2016 (UTC)

edit Ironman Triathlon

That should be easy. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:41 11-Apr-16

edit UnScripts:The West Wing Season 1 Episode 20: The Bridge Between Our Noses

Hey. I completed an UnScript that's a parody of season one of The West Wing. I was told by Spike you could give me some good feedback. Do you have any suggestions before I remove the construction template? Thanks!--Makefolkslaugh ([[User [The user FORMERLY known as Princelogo]:Makefolkslaugh|talk]]) 11:36, May 6, 2016 (UTC)

I don't believe I've ever watched The West Wing on TV, but I found an episode on YouTube. I had a hard time corelating what was in the UnScript you wrote to what was in the YouTube episode of The West Wing Season 1 Episode 20. (I didn't have enough time to watch the entire thing through, so I watched the YouTube video in bits and pieces - there was no getting out of bed scene that I saw scanning about every 2 minutes.) A fan of the series might get this UnScript, but someone who has not watched it won't understand most of the humor. Some of the situations you made up are funny though, and the part about where one character asks the other why she alternates between being nice to him and mean to him I could definitely see a corelation in the series (this is also an example of the kind of joke that nonfans of the series can also get). -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 18:51, May 6, 2016 (UTC)

edit Too ranty?

Very well; then nominate another. I just looked at the sorry state of VFH, they were talking on talk radio about a Hillary/Elizabeth Warren ticket, I looked to see what we (I) had there, and it seemed good enough, though she does provide a lot of low-hanging comedy fruit. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:15 7-May-16

edit Uncategorized UnNews

I post-edited you twice here. The Schwarzenegger one I deleted; two paragraphs of fanfiction with no source, no formatting, and no humor is not an UnNews. On the Lindsey Lohan one, the reason it did not have categories (which means it had no {{News}}) is that a vandal spree added junk to it, and Romartus deleted too much when removing the junk. In fact, Leverage had done a good copy-edit of it, so I reverted to that version. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:21 9-May-16

edit UnScripts:The West Wing Season 1 Episode 20: The Bridge Between Our Noses

Hello! You may remember that a couple of months ago I was working on an UnScript, which I have linked in the title, satirizing The West Wing. The feedback I received was that the jokes were too specific to the show and readers who hadn't watched it wouldn't have understood them. I took this to heart and I have been modifying it ever since. I've removed most of the show-specific jokes (but not all, because I still think there should be something to appeal to viewers) and replaced them with jokes that general readers will find funny. I think I've gone as far as I can in refining the article. Any final criticisms or suggestions before I remove the {{Construction}} template? If possible, I would like some feedback specifically on a line I wrote about mens' rights, given by a character named Josh. The point is to ridicule the mens' rights movement who try to seek equality in the wrong issues (as well as to bring a political topic into an article about a political show) but I know it's a big risk that may alienate some readers and seem out of place to others. I'd like your more experienced opinion on this. Thanks! Princelogo [The user formerly known as Makefolkslaugh]

It looks good to me. I definitely understand a lot more of the humor that is in it now. I too think it is a good idea to leave in some "insider jokes", but now there is enough humor that is relatable to an outsider that I think you can take the construction tag off it. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 12:18, June 25, 2016 (UTC)
Although I panned it on my talk page, I agree that {{Construction}} can be removed and have now done so. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:47 25-Jun-16

edit Welcome back

And you are welcome to VFD to help us resolve many stale ballots, either way. Also see some interesting new topics at User talk:Expert3222. Spıke Radiomicrophone05:55 16-Jul-16

edit When featuring an article

...don't forget to semi-protect it! Spıke Radiomicrophone18:19 17-Jul-16

edit Retired? Retiring??

You are least a lot more active than ChiefjusticeDS so perhaps you can be on the 'reserve list'? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:14, July 25, 2016 (UTC)

I almost made the same mistake! but the "Fairy princess" to which Simsie added "Retired" is not her entry but the Chief's. If my graying out of his entry is not sufficient advice to newbies not to post to him and wait for him to reply, maybe we should delete the entry entirely, though not his powers.
However, Blackflamingo11, Bradaphraser, and MoneySign should be de-opped now, as it is three years with no log-ins nor edits (versus two years when I first raised the issue). Without prejudice against re-opping if we need it and they return. Spıke Radiomicrophone18:29 25-Jul-16

)Rt' mhjcipjbq My browser has this weird problem where it scrambles text, or it might be my keyboard, I'm not sure. But it has kept me from being as active on this site as I would like. I can do rollbacks, and copy and paste, but typing new stuff (like this message) can be a problem. So I had to actually open a text file, type my text there, and copy it to the wiki. What a pain. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 22:49, July 25, 2016 (UTC)

I forgot that the Chief was the top Fairy here (If he is checking this site still, Hail to the Chief!). So glad I am am wrong about Simsie's true status. Yes, we can retire the others mentioned if they're admins or ask the Great Earth Mothership (Sannse) remove their bureaucratic status. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:02, July 25, 2016 (UTC)
Have now de-opped them, though I don't see it reflected in Special:ListUsers. MoneySign is listed there and was not displayed as sysop in the first place. I also de-opped Frosty, as that account seems to be permanently inaccessible. I'd welcome him back under his new name, but he hasn't really asked for it. Un-MadMax seems also to have left us for three years.
Simsie, I've never encountered such a thing, but my guess is keyboard not browser. Keyboards in the PC era have a separate microprocessor, can get out of synch with the PC, and can be affected by dripping drinks into the keyboard or even washing hands and returning to typing before the hands are dry. On the Toshiba 8000, it takes 3 days to dry out from this; on the HP Mini, just order a new keyboard. As I said when one of your keys went on the blink and you built an article around the mishap: Order a USB keyboard off, plug it in, and get back to normal. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:44 26-Jul-16
Moneysign still listed. With the exceptions of Chronarion and Stillwaters (website founders), I would de-list the following bureaucrats by asking Wikia: Flammable, Keitei, RCMurphy and Un-Sophia (who is that? a bot bureaucrat??). I will leave anyone from 2013 for another year. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:40, July 26, 2016 (UTC)
Thanks for the suggestion Spike, but the way I know it is my browser is that the keyboard works differently with different browsers. Also, if I close my browser and reopen it (Chrome) then it works again. Firefox was the first to show the problem, and persistently has the problem even if I close and reopen it. Microsoft Edge doesn't seem to have the problem, but rejects javascript (treating it like it would any download, rather than processing it in the browser). Very annoying on sites that use javascript extensively since it tends to quickly fill up my downloads folder with .js files. Since my main (desktop) computer is now a Windows 10 computer (it came preloaded with Win 10), it doesn't have Internet Explorer on it. My hubby says it could be a memory problem, which seems strange to me, since I got it new December of last year, and it has 16 GB of RAM. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 07:57, July 27, 2016 (UTC)
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