User talk:Secret Agent

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Secret Agent, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Secret Agent/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! 


I'm welcoming myself.--Secret Agent 00:28, October 19, 2010 (UTC)


You did it wrong. Also, welcome. (If you'd have waited two minutes, I'd have beaten you to it... yeesh.) ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101019 - 00:31 (UTC)

p.s. - have enough userboxes? *shifty eyes* ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101019 - 00:40 (UTC)
Thank you, good sir. And I happen to like my large amount of userboxes.--Secret Agent 00:48, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
Well... judging by the list, you've definitely been on Illogicopedia too long. Just tell me you weren't the one that added the thing about userboxes...
Not sure this place is any better for that, though. In fact, it's probably worse. ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101019 - 00:57 (UTC)

edit I be do review

But too lazy to link. --~~First Child Rei Ayanami (give orders) 03:31, October 28, 2010 (UTC)

*bonks Rei Ayanami* It's here. ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 03:45 (UTC)
Thank you for reviewing it. I shall work on it some more later. Please excuse the bits of nonsense in it, I've spent WAY too much time over there.--Secret Agent 17:29, October 28, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, that can be a tough transition. Also, ow, Lyrithya, that hurt! --~~First Child Rei Ayanami (give orders) 18:55, October 28, 2010 (UTC)
*whistles innocently* ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 20:30 (UTC)
Oh, is that "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve you're whistling? --~~First Child Rei Ayanami (give orders) 02:35, October 29, 2010 (UTC)
No... something else. Something definitely not related to a giant squirty creature that... *shudders* ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101029 - 03:05 (UTC)
You still haven't apologized... I have a bump on my head now because of you. --~~First Child Rei Ayanami (give orders) 05:19, October 29, 2010 (UTC)
Me, apologise? Bah. The pee review queue would just as soon run dry. I apologise for nothing! *flails and runs away* ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101029 - 14:09 (UTC)
Alright. I suppose then... I might have to bring out the big guns. --~~First Child Rei Ayanami (give orders) 17:13, October 29, 2010 (UTC)
Look! A kitty! ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101029 - 17:40 (UTC)
Hmmm. A fight on my user talk page. Weird. Maybe I should get to fixing Bold Fresh or finishing This piece of crap sometime. Good day, sirs, and fight somewhere else from now on.Unless you want me to break out the wiffle canes-Secret Agent
Wiffle-cane? I got a fucking giant robot. --~~First Child Rei Ayanami (give orders) 20:25, November 2, 2010 (UTC)
Meh, a "fucking giant robot". No match for my "damn big tank".--Secret Agent 16:45, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
I used the stronger profanity. Game, set, match. --~~First Child Rei Ayanami (give orders) 03:30, November 8, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Republicans warn of dictatorship if Obama wins

Good evening. I seem to share your sentiments about Barack Obama and understand that there are only three more days of campaigning before the mid-terms. Nevertheless, this is not the site on which to do it. Your article is primarily political polemics, and the only humor I can sense is exaggeration, which is very similar to the exaggeration done all the time by serious partisans.

So, according to our traditions, I have given the article a "mercy move" to your userspace, where you can continue editing it, at the address shown above. When it is really funny, use the move tab to move it back to the UnNews space. Be sure that inducing belly-laughs and not changing votes is your principal motivation. Hope to read more of you in the future. Spıke ¬ 01:47 31-Oct-10

My apologies sir. Won't happen again.--Secret Agent 01:50, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

edit Rebirth

I have un-mercy-moved it now, back to UnNews, but retitled and completely reworked it. We needed a counterpoint to a story Funnybony wrote from the Obama point of view. Some of the charges are there but they are made more absurd--though they have a factual basis--and put in the mouth of Republicans. Your excellent photo remains and is the heart of the article. Spıke ¬ 15:00 31-Oct-10

Excellent. I will also ensure my future contributions to teh UnNews are funny and not considered blatant political propaganda. Good day, sir, and expect to see this reporter back...soon--Secret Agent 18:00, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

edit You...

Er... oh, you should heed SPIKE. He's all scary-like, and... er... I dunno.

Actually, I seem to be digressing. What I meant to say was...

You... haven't finished your uncyclopedia article! Whyever not?! And... crap, I haven't finished my illogicopedia article, either... er... I'll do it! I'll finish it! I will! *scuttles off* ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101031 - 01:55 (UTC)

I will get to it. You finish yours, I finish mine. You slack, I slack. It seems to be as such. Well, I'll get on it!--Secret Agent 01:58, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

...point. Except I really am working on it this time. I wrote a whole sentence. ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101031 - 02:09 (UTC)

I did MOAR!Secret Agent 02:25, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

I... crashed my web browser, wandered off, added a bunch of things to a contest category just to see if it'd annoy the guy whose contest it was, got in a quandary as to whether or not I should add the rest of the things to the category, started an illoginews, started trying to inform some fellow that his reviews need to be more in-depth, and right now I just realised I'm out of mountain dew, and I'ma go get some more. Huzzah! I win the sidetracked game, yes? ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101031 - 02:33 (UTC)

Meh, we both slack.--Secret Agent 16:43, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

And I keep getting sidetracked... now I'm working on an article about how utterly horrible this one admin who banned me is... ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101103 - 16:49 (UTC)

Same here. I've been working on a novel about how the girl of my dreams wants nothing to do with me on how dumb the infidel are. I'm a'gonna publish it on Illogic. So, I'll finish that article on Uncyc and that parody of Conservapedia meh One of these days, I'll finish that crap.--Secret Agent 17:00, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, and why were you banned or writing an article on it?--Secret Agent 17:01, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

Odd... indeed, finish one of these days. Right now, I really should be trying to do my coursework, but instead I'm wandering around inciting admins to block me... wheeee.

I was banned because... wait, which time? And because the original was terrible. I wanna write a good one. ~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101103 - 17:09 (UTC)

edit UnNews:America's only gonna get fatter

Guy, this one isn't done. I left it in UnNews space, but it is essentially a straight opinion piece. I know you call CNN some names and the conclusion, that we should give up, is not serious, but it needs more FUNNY! Spıke ¬ 11:10 5-Nov-10

PS--Still not in love with this piece, though I've put a couple more sentence into it, but you get the 1-spot on the Front Page until some real news comes along. Spıke ¬ 15:53 5-Nov-10

PPS--There is a document around here called How to Be Funny and Not Just Stupid. Now, I'm not calling you stupid. But, like the new guy on the playground, you don't know all the moves--you're going straight to the hoop, with no fakes or weaves--and an awful lot of the humor moves are set down in this article. See what you can learn. Spıke ¬ 15:57 5-Nov-10

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