User talk:ScottPat

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Before writing a comment on my talk page you might want to consider a few things:

  • I only respond to ye in the tongue of Scots, en espanol, madein upein Deutsch or in BBC English. If you don't speak in one of those languages then your comment may be ignored.
  • If you want to have a discussion irrelevant to Uncyclopedia and want to talk to me about my own views on such matters then please go ahead but be warned.
  • If you post a message here and your nation does not have a flag then you run the risk of being colonialised. Then we shall run your account for you.
  • I am a friendly user and I don't mind what you post on the page as long as it is not vandalism.

Archives:

edit UnSignpost:Article/Uncyclopedia needed for schoolwork

Sorry, I had to edit your article, because in some places it looked as if you were attacking the editor, who has already been attacked and even blocked from editing. However, I understand that you tried to make a funny news article, and so I tried to make these aspects a bit more obvious. I will take another, final look soon.

Also, I am going to write an article myself and then I am planning to make a new UnSignpost issue this week-end. Unbelievable, we haven't heard from our newspaper since March! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:06, May 3, 2014 (UTC)

I can't get on a computer to edit it but the start of the second paragraph makes no sense now as it does not say what Mr. E says only our reply, which contradicts the start of the next sentence where we "reply" to our own reply apparently. Could you fix it please as I can't seem to edit the article from my phone (no edit option). Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:42, May 3, 2014 (UTC)
It was clear to me that what Mr. E. did was "rant." But I went in and minced a few more words. No edit option? This seems a glaring design error for a wiki. Spıke ¬ 17:08 3-May-14

edit So...

What do you think about all the edits, additions, proofreading of Napoleon's article? Are you going to add or delete anything? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:08, May 4, 2014 (UTC)

edit Unsignpost

Utterly helarious your article on VFP! Well done! --ShabiDOO 01:06, May 5, 2014 (UTC)

Thank you very much sir! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:22, May 5, 2014 (UTC)

edit The Ukrainian Flag

You removed this

New Ukraine Flag

Image of Ukraine because you said:

"Revert edits. Goes against the theme of the article (Ukraine is not Communist, unlike Belarus and USSR) and also sticking a communist symbol on the flag is unoriginal humour."

Russia is slowly taking over Ukraine and although Russia is not officialy a communist country it kind of is

--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 21:10, June 19, 2014 (UTC)

I saw these edits, but didn't revert them. However, Ukraine is not becoming communist, not even Russian. Crimea maybe is, but it is not Ukraine anymore, and I am not sure Russia is interested in the rest of the country. Thank you for your efforts though! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:31, May 6, 2014 (UTC)
Russia is most certainly not Communist. Communism is a system of democratic worker led corporations with a state to overview the situation. As Stalin perverted Communism by making an anarchial worldview an authoritarian dictatorship, Putin has abused Capitalism and made an authoritarian dictatorship out of an anarchist view. There is little Communism left in Russia and certainly very little in Ukraine, which if anything is run by moderate nationalist groups at the moment.
Also the theme in the article was that the Ukraine isn't Communist so as to go against the average stereotype of Eastern Europe. I appreciate your edit but I fear it is misplaced. Thank you for editing though and keep it up! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:48, May 6, 2014 (UTC)
Uncyclopedia articles are mostly creative comedy writing. Thumbnails (left and right) make the page easier on the eye. I think they are best when a brilliant caption relates an unrelated or mistaken photo to the theme of the article. A country Infobox takes a flag illustration, without caption and is not brilliant but is okay.
I am sympathetic to ScottPat's final point, as both the hammer-and-sickle and swastika are memes, overused by kids who think that it's funny in itself. I am less moved by his statement on whether or not Ukraine is Communist, nor on whether or not Russia is communist, nor especially on his didactic explanation of what communism is. For one thing, we don't know how current events are going to end up; for another, especially if Ukraine is not Communist, it could be funny to assert that it is. But not by using the flag alone. I suggest that you try using the hammer-and-sickle flag as a new thumbnail (right or left, not center, and not "centre" as coding probably requires American spelling) with a really great caption that refers to current events. Or, since it is so bound up in current events and might be dated by next year, write an UnNews on the current turmoil in Ukraine. Spıke ¬ 18:51 6-May-14
Well, look at that! wikicoding seems to accept British spelling. Though raw HTML famously refuses to. Spıke ¬ 18:53 6-May-14
Coming from someone who isn't a Communist themself, I don't see how Spike's opinion of Communism's views would have any more value than mine. The point of the Ukraine article was specifically to not include the Communist meme. I see no reason to change that in light of a new government which is certainly not Communist. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:02, May 6, 2014 (UTC)
I am offering no views of Communism above, only suggestions on writing humor. Spıke ¬ 19:12 6-May-14
Have you now, or have you ever been, a communist? No Shame Aleister 20:19 6-5-14
I have not been a communist but grown up in a country that once was communist under Russian control, but back to the subject, the Russian are organizing referendums in other Ukraine cities. What about if I put a Russian flag? --TheWikiMan026 Signature 17:21, May 7, 2014 (UTC)
I am really trying not to take a position on Communism but on humor. In my opinion, a pure Russian flag would be less funny than your creation of the hammer-and-sickle in Ukrainian colors. (Aleister's post, above, relates to a famous hearing in the U.S. Congress and not to this debate.) Bottom line, do not write to make a political point, least of all that the rest of the world will forget in two years, but write to amuse the reader, though you might thereby express an opinion on current events. Spıke ¬ 23:55 7-May-14
This hasn't much to do with the subject but what happened with the pics? They're not in thumb anymore even tough the wikicode thumb is typed in. --TheWikiMan026 Signature 17:12, May 8, 2014 (UTC)
They are broken! See Forum:Thumbnails are broken. Spıke ¬ 17:32 8-May-14

edit UnNews:UK hit by European election fever

As an American who, to paraphrase this UnNews, doesn't understand, doesn't know about, and doesn't care about, the European elections, why don't you make the Intro of this UnNews do more than explain to me why I shouldn't want to read further, before it opens with the joke that the UKIP is loathsome (which, by definition, I don't know)? Avoid opening with, "As every European knows" (some of us are not and do not) and reread Choice of Words regarding the inadvisability of an offhand "joke" that the UKIP is "racist" — even if it isn't technically your words. For extremists to call opposing extremists racist or Loony is not a joke; it is a day at the office. In my opinion, political UnNewses are best delivered by the neutral (though clueless) UnNews reporter, trying to report the facts although the facts don't cooperate — and never reporting what the principals realized or intended or thought. Spıke ¬ 12:59 10-May-14

Oh ok. I thought I gave a derogatory view on everyone involved. The OMRLP is a joke party, not an extremist group, they revel in being called loonies as it is in their name. I'll try and make it more understandable for Americans though. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:11, May 10, 2014 (UTC)
PS - I hesitate to change "As every European knows" as I am not suggesting that the reader is European and I explain what every European knows directly afterwards. It would be like saying, "As every Ukrainian knows, political stability is a hard thing to come by on the streets of Kiev." I do not suggest that the reader is Ukrainian, nor do I leave it hanging as to what every Ukrainian knows. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:16, May 10, 2014 (UTC)
I've removed all mention of UKIP being racist except for the last paragraph which if anything attacks the hypocrisy of the public's reaction to Jeremy Clarkson and I think passes as good satire. I've removed the part from the intro telling the reader not to care. The dispute between the OMRLP and UKIP is satirized but did take place as one of my sources reports. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:21, May 10, 2014 (UTC)

I do not claim it is untrue, but the UnNews still has stretches of preachiness. I've minced words at the start of this. I claim that what is now the third paragraph is totally unnecessary: It repeats the Eurovision joke from the previous paragraph, and states the business of the EU Parliament, as the next paragraph does too. Separately, wouldn't it be both precise and cute if "hit" in the page title were "bed-ridden"? Spıke ¬ 14:45 10-May-14

Good idea. I'll delete the third paragraph - I only made it in an attempt to explain to the Americans - and change the title. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:47, May 10, 2014 (UTC)

UKIP is racist, they are trying to get all the foreigners out of the UK. --TheWikiMan026 Signature 21:02, May 11, 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for that. However: This is a humor wiki. Spıke ¬ 21:03 11-May-14
Agreed. Just saying UKIP's racist isn't funny. You've got to imply it in a way that makes it funny. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:24, May 12, 2014 (UTC)
Like saying that in the Fermanagh Herald a UKIP Minister said "UKIP isn't Racist? --TheWikiMan026 Signature 17:21, May 13, 2014 (UTC)

Doesn't surprise me! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:33, May 30, 2014 (UTC)

edit Noob Seeking Platonic Mentor

Hello, I'd like to ask for mentorship if you have the capacity =). I'm interested in comedy writing which is why I'm here and I'd love to be useful. I don't know what's involved so get back to me I guess! Thanks! Athecondor24 (talk) 00:26, May 12, 2014 (UTC)

I'll come over to your talk page to reply. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:15, May 12, 2014 (UTC)
Yeah, he's coming to your talk page to reply. With a bottle of champagne in one hand and six condems in the other. Run, don't walk, before he gets there! Aleister 18:23 13-5-14 (p.s. ScottPat, can you please take a look at my Will Harridge nom on VFH, I've done enough work on it to feel comfortable asking for a look-at. Thanks. Now on your way to the condor, who must learn first to write comedy you must be able to confront almost image and describe it)
Thanks for your vote of encouragement and your nice comment. I blush. Then I use that blush to accost the first woman I pass on the street, who screams and I have to run, thus accenting the blush, which I try again on the next. You've made my day! Aleister 20:24 13-5-14

edit UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20140520

Hi! I am making issue 200 of the UnSignpost! I am planning to add a few images of fireworks to the header (because of the round number) and write a notice about it, as well as an article about IP votes, probably. Would you like your article about whether we do or don't need more admins included? I just think that it happened last month, and is not news anymore, not counting that there are already three other articles there. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:44, May 18, 2014 (UTC)

Hi Anton. I am physically dead at the moment and computer taking years to turn on. Please go ahead and make the UnSignpost. For once Spike, and I commend that dog, has posted articles in our press room but I have let him down thanks to busy life and not made them into articles for main page of USP. Please could you do that too! Hope I'm not asking too much dear fellow. Thanks! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:15, May 18, 2014 (UTC)
Just found them: oddly enough the press room was not in my watch list, so I didn't see the new posts. Yes, I'll try to turn them into articles. Good luck with your computer! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:37, May 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Have you forgotten about the UnSignpost's anniversary?

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:32, May 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit Gretna Green

Uncyclopedia has a new dollop of Scottish bestiality humor. Spıke ¬ 18:14 24-May-14

Gretna Green. Famous for being the Las Vegas of Britain when it comes to marriage! I'll take a look when I'm on the computer. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:44, May 24, 2014 (UTC)

Already mentioned! although Wikipedia says that Las Vegas is the Gretna Green of the US. Spıke ¬ 18:50 24-May-14

Just had a look at it! It's very funny. Didn't realize you'd written it when I read this talk page, I thought you wanted me to check it after an IP had wrote it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:30, May 27, 2014 (UTC)

A clear example of Uncyclopedia being vandalized. Thank you for the VFH nomination! Spıke ¬ 19:04 27-May-14

edit How about that UKIP?!

Are you up to an UnNews about how all the parties are still acting comparably foolish, about the UKIP's 25% "landslide," and about how no one expects anything to change? Spıke ¬ 12:50 27-May-14

I have tried to write an UnNews on the council and EU elections but half way through I decided it was too spiteful and ranty, not comedy. I can try again but I find it hard to parody a party which is silly enough to be comedy itself. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:56, May 27, 2014 (UTC)

Then thank you both for trying and for the objective reflection. Separately, we had another Scot wash up on our shores yesterday whom you may want to meet. Spıke ¬ 14:02 27-May-14

I'll give it another blast later. Some hilarities in the elections included the Scottish getting one UKIP MEP despite the Independance Campaigners complaining that Scotland would be better off without UK because they don't want UKIP running their country assuming that no Scot would vote UKIP. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:06, May 27, 2014 (UTC)
PS - I'll do 3 articles. One on EU elections across EU, one for UK EU elections and one for UK council elections.Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:13, May 27, 2014 (UTC)

That might be overkill, compared to a single UnNews with panoramic range. Spıke ¬ 14:25 27-May-14

“I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”
OK but it's a hell of a lot to write about. I'll do two. One on council elections for UK and one on EU elections then. They are afterall completely different elections. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:59, May 27, 2014 (UTC)
I've done the EU election news article. It's not great. I find it too factual but I don't think I can get into a particularly comedic frame of mind while writing it. The results weren't too exciting unless you were a UKIPer otherwise most Britons were more interested in the council elections. Please tweak it to make it funnier if you can. Thanks Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:57, May 27, 2014 (UTC)

I copy-edited it. Calling the UKIP racist is more bias than humor but I let that go. Above the fold on the Front Page, replacing one of mine that more exposed an American politican's actual dumb statement than had a novel take on anything. Spıke ¬ 19:04 27-May-14

I quoted Farage saying that UKIP weren't against other races. I don't think I said they were racist in the article. The main worry for Europe is the National Front who are France's equivalent of the BNP (like actual racists, not just xenophobic posh people). Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:14, May 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit Great Britain --> UK

Could you please move Great Britain to UK? as the article is about UK not GB.--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 20:58, May 27, 2014 (UTC)

I distinctly remember this request from before. UK does link to Great Britain and you are completely correct, it's a bit off on the poor Northern Irish to call it Great Britain when it is about the UK. However as it is a featured article I am hesitant at moving the title now. If you bring it up with an admin (Spike or Romartus), I'm sure they will have a textbook answer for you. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:27, May 28, 2014 (UTC)
Here is a stock answer from the Mordillo textbook: Go write a funny article. Spıke ¬ 10:26 28-May-14

So is it possible to move it?--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 19:21, May 29, 2014 (UTC)

Yeah I think we ought to. I'll consult Romartus, one of the British admins who likes maintaining these types of pages. I see you are Northern Irish so I see you could be offended. However I am not sure as to whether it's meant to be a joke that foreigners think the whole of the UK is actually called Great Britain (for evidence now observe Spike is investigating his portable globe). Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:31, May 30, 2014 (UTC)
Sorry, but I don't seem to be able to find any "Britain" or "UK" on my globe. Spıke ¬ 09:40 30-May-14
Try finding the 51st state. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:08, May 30, 2014 (UTC)
Spike, a quick Geo lesson. The British isles are made up of the isle of Great Britain on the right, and the isle of Eire. The UK (or formally the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland) is what its long name suggests. The UK & GB ARE NOT COUNTRIES(with strong emphasis there) as most people think and what I sop damn fucking hate is that those damned mapmakers think they fucking are!--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 19:53, June 2, 2014 (UTC)
Spike and I were having a joke. The article is named so as there is already United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the GB article is actually about GB as it doesn't mention NI.
Spike I would suggest you do not follow through and respond as there has already been a series of wars fought over this. Let's leave it at that. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:13, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
A joke it was. I have worked in Berkshire and in The City, and have been in Scotland several times, including once with a red-headed teenager on my knee as a carful rode up to Arthur's Seat to watch the sunrise. A side trip to Inverness is my furthest north ever (except for the polar route back home). But I have never been to Eire. Spıke ¬ 16:18 4-Jun-14
Inverness is too far for even myself. Never been further north than Aberdeen. The City I am very familiar with but hope I won't have to be for the rest of my life. Berkshire I have spent little time in. You are certainly a travelled man Spike but then I too have lived in the US so we perhaps share a mirrored similarity there! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:14, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
It's just that when you type UK or United Kingdom it comes to Great Britain--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:30, June 5, 2014 (UTC)
Well then I suggest cleaning up the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland so that we can link UK to there. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:06, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit Danny Alexander Pee Review

Hi ScottPat I didn't realize there was a British Politics section that I had to put articles in; if you weren't able to find mine it's the Danny Alexander page you looked at before.--Everyotherusernamewastaken (talk) 15:32, May 28, 2014 (UTC)

I didn't realize it either. Spıke ¬ 17:09 28-May-14

To Spıke ¬ : I have realized now that the problem is that 'Danny Alexander' isn't on Pee review. Pee review's on Danny Alexander though.--Everyotherusernamewastaken (talk) 20:26, May 28, 2014 (UTC)

Well, piss on that. Spıke ¬ 21:19 28-May-14

So is it possible to move it?--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 19:21, May 29, 2014 (UTC)

I will review the article possible tomorrow. I know little about Danny himself but am familiar with British politics and up to date with current affairs if that fulfills the requirement of one's request for "someone aware of British politics". (I also wrote half the articles on the British Politics template!) Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:34, May 29, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ban

When you are banned are you still able to read articles and view stuff?--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 19:22, May 29, 2014 (UTC)

(From past experience) Yes you can. Although I hope you are not seeking a ban my good man. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:31, May 29, 2014 (UTC)
LOL why were you banned ScottPat? --ShabiDOO 18:23, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
Spike got me for putting one too many important files to be shredded in the shredding queue and stealing too many biscuits from the staff canteen. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:03, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
I might have not been looking for a ban but, err..--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:46, June 6, 2014 (UTC)
You scallywag. You stole biscuits from the staff canteen. You are lucky that you weren't placed in a Brazel Bull. Next time you just might be! --ShabiDOO 00:20, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit Gaza War

In your absence, you are on the main page (halvesies, right?) and again on the Front Page. Too bad you are so busy picking up chicks on campus! Spıke ¬ 13:44 2-Jun-14

I'm not at Uni. I've been downing a lot of vodka with Eastern Europeans for a few days (no seriously) and at the same time doing some important stuff for life. Hope to be more active soon. Half 'n half tis. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:08, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

No, seriously? Eastern Europeans? "Home" or "away"? Spıke ¬ 16:11 4-Jun-14

Poles to be precise. Home - yes Farage I let them in. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:07, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnParliment

The UnParliment needs some serious organisation. You can't figure out what is happening or what's on at the moment or anything--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:33, June 5, 2014 (UTC)

Probably an abandoned project. I'll take a look. Feel free to clean up and restart. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:15, June 6, 2014 (UTC)

edit Adopt the world's biggest noob

would you?--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 08:34, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

I'm a bit limited on time at the moment. Feel free to ask me any questions or for guidance and I'll try to get back to you. Call it an unofficial noob adoption. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:06, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Who is that noob you're talking about? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:32, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
me--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 14:57, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Cameron shows brief defiance to EU

Cheeky of me to write about your country's politics, but I was linked to der Spiegel by a comment on a US blog. The commentator offered opinions about the merits of Cameron's opposition to Juncker, but the gist was that it was both doomed not to work and ineffective even if it did work, which seemed like one of those UnNewses that would write itself. Spıke ¬ 10:43 7-Jun-14

The trouble is that the British media never really explain what the hell actually goes on in the EU Parliament. I still don't know who this Mr. Juncker is (apart from the fact he is an EU President candidate), why Cameron opposes him or what his political views are. The Junkers [sic.] are a very powerful German family, not sure if Mr. Juncker is a relation to them.
The BBC News politics section is simply full of a petty debate between the Home Secretary and the Minister for Education about schools teaching extremist views. Something that is important but deserves far less media coverage than telling us more about the EU parliament, who the current President is, who the candidates are, their views, the latest legislation passed. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:06, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
EU ccepticism in the UK is one bloody bizzare polemic. The BBC's biggest mistake was broadcasting interviews with Nigel in the first place. The best way to deal with conspiracy nutcase misinformation biggoted trolls is to ignore them. --ShabiDOO 16:42, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
It would be a violation of freedom of speech to prevent him being represented in the media but he has certainly been over-represented on the BBC. YouGov, the government organization that polls people for government research, published that UKIP has the same support for it as back in 2004 however a lack of people voting in the elections allows it to gain a high percentage. The trouble with elections in this country is you only vote if you're radical right or left. The rest of the electorate can't be bothered. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:15, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Of course we shouldn't ban fringe parties from being covered. But the kind of coverage this guy deserves is one of "look at that party and leader who are bananas" ... for about a minute or so. The BBCs coverage of the rest of the EU election in Europe was astounding. It was called an "anti-EU earthquake" when in fact the nationalists only won in two out of 28 countries and over all in the entire EU they gained less than 8 percent of the vote which is barely more than last year. The NYTimes called it "far right fever"...when in reality these anomalies happen every election on many issues. The most surprising result for me was the end of the pirate party and the amount of separatists elected in Catalonia, Scotland, Wales, Corsica and Flanders. If you look at the countries which had concurrant federal elections at the same time you'll notice that the results involved little nationalism and far right votes and an over all slant towards the left in fact. None of the anglo saxon news sources commented on who the new EU commissioner would be and what their policies are except to say that the UK would throw a hissy fit if one candidate in particular won. Which was perhaps the only thing the BBC said that wasn't hyperbole. It's too bad it was a coupld weeks ago. I should have written an article on this instead of pasting a large block of rambling text that doesn't seem to have a clear purpose on it that keeps going on and on again and a again and it doesn't even have a final period

--ShabiDOO 15:44, June 9, 2014 (UTC)

Yes I am quite disappointed with the BBC. Had to start reading the Guardian recently to get more perspective. Didn't help much. Europe has gone left and right as mentioned briefly in my UnNews I wrote at the time. I live in a right wing area so get an unfair share of nationalists and ultra capitalists living around me, which sometimes makes me over react to UKIP. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:08, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
Could you link the article you wrote? --ShabiDOO 22:54, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
UnNews:EU elections divide Europe There you are! Not my best but it was mainly written as a filler when no one else would write about the elections. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:22, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

edit Photoshop

What potatochop software do you use?--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 15:39, June 8, 2014 (UTC)

I think this answers your question. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:16, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
You mean Macrohard Powerpoint?--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 18:00, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
There's nought wrong with t' powerpoint. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:21, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
I know there isn't--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 18:23, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
What Potatochoping software would you recommend(other than MS Powerpoint)? I use Paint.NET but it really isn't the best you know.--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 20:25, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
GIMP. Good quality, free and not that hard to use. And I know that I am not supposed to respond to questions addressed to other people. Sorry. Sir PataScott (on his head) Union Jack and USSR Scottish flag night Black ninja star VFD UnS Not Me (What?) 13:36, June 9, 2014 (UTC)

what is the HTML code for italics?--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 20:37, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

Do not use <I> for italics. Use '' to start and end a run of italics. Spıke ¬ 21:49 10-Jun-14

edit UnNews:Veteran escapes care home to help mark D-Day

I missed this one entirely until Anon tried to change "Hitler" to "Hitler's penis." Nice jumbling of two stories in the news! Spıke ¬ 13:47 9-Jun-14

Thanks. The story stayed national news for two days and I found it funny that out of all the World leaders assembled at the ceremony, only one was a "veteran" of the war too. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:10, June 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit Wars Napoleonic

Napoleonic Wars are back on VFH and have already got three votes for! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:23, June 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit Custom logo problems

Well, do you remember? Spıke ¬ 03:08 14-Jun-14

Yes. It happens intermittently. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:53, June 14, 2014 (UTC)

What page(s)? What browser(s)? Any pattern? Spıke ¬ 13:53 14-Jun-14

edit HMC

Hmc2014
Your topic for the competition is North Korea at the 2012 Summer Olympics

So go create an article on your user space. Contact me (or an admin if I don't respond soon) for any questions. You have two days. Remember:

CREATIVITY, ORIGINALITY and HELARITY. You will be judged on all three of these out of 10 for a score of 30.

HAVE FUN!

--ShabiDOO 17:58, June 14, 2014 (UTC)

You did it! This year is a record for semi-completed and finished articles. I've been blown away by the humour and creativity of the articles I've so far read! Watch as the scores slowly trick in over the next week here. Hope you enjoyed it cello-muncher. --ShabiDOO 05:18, June 20, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:35, June 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ed Miliband

Would you please decide whether recent edits to this article are an improvement, keeping in mind that it will not always be June 2014? Spıke ¬ 11:35 18-Jun-14

The whole thing needs to be re-written. It's a hate speech, not even a comedic mockery. Considering he's the George Bush (Jr.) of British politics when it comes to looking stupid and not knowing much he deserves a better page than this. Perhaps a project for me when I can devote more time to the site. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:50, June 19, 2014 (UTC)

Short of that, though, would you please patrol/revert/post-edit the recent edits there? Spıke ¬ 22:09 19-Jun-14

Post-editing it, only encourages me to delete what's already there. It's clichéd and full of hate speeches and I think I need to re-write the whole thing starting from a fresh blank page. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:19, June 20, 2014 (UTC)
It seems to have just accumulated a lot of clichéd satirical pokes at Communism and despite "Red Ed"'s original perception in the public eyes, now most left-wingers consider him to far right so it's old and failed humour. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:21, June 20, 2014 (UTC)

You are a prime candidate to do the Full Monty, depending on your schedule. I merely looked at your edit and saw you had left a large air pocket. Thanks for the review. Spıke ¬ 19:22 20-Jun-14

Next two weeks continue to be heavy going. Hopefully after then, I may have some time to spend on it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:24, June 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit Shabidoo

I'm talking to Shabidoo on the fork right now, because he was blocked here and has decided to leave this site. He has requested the closing of his account, which is going to happen soon, and won't be able to edit this site again. Still, he says that he would like to be able to talk to you. So, if you want, you can send him an e-mail (his address is on his user page). And I also thank you, from his part, (nothing personal) for participating in the 2014 Happy Monkey Competition! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:48, June 29, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, and another thing. I won't be able to edit Uncyclopedia for at least three weeks to come, so good bye and good luck (with anything you are doing or planning to do)! You can make another UnSignpost issue or not, if you don't have time. I'll help you in any case when I get back. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:50, June 29, 2014 (UTC)
Have fun on your hols! Don't worry, I've kept UnSignpost going in the meantime. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:38, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:UK Parliament plays Musical Chairs (Formerly: UnNews:Cameron organises annual parliamentary musical chairs)

Good article! But am I supposed to understand the bit about two bacon sandwiches? Spıke ¬ 12:16 11-Jul-14

Thanks. You might possibly remember Ed Miliband's most hilarious comedy sketch unfortunate incident in front of media cameras in which he attempted to devour a bacon sandwich, instead displaying how the eating habits of a two year old. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:34, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

Very good. No, I can't possibly remember what I didn't see to begin with, American TV being too preoccupied at the moment to cover table manners. But I've rephrased the passage in the UnNews to at least hint to Yanks what it is getting at. Spıke ¬ 12:44 11-Jul-14

OK thanks. I thought I'd mentioned it in a previous UnNews, but our average non-British reader wouldn't know of it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:46, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

Now on the Front Page, above the fold. I recommend the shorter headline. Spıke ¬ 12:58 11-Jul-14

And so it shall have! Thanks a lot. Glad you enjoyed it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:04, July 11, 2014 (UTC)
PS - You will have to edit the Template:Lead article to change the link. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:08, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

I thought we'd just go with a red-link. (No, it's done now.) Spıke ¬ 13:11 11-Jul-14

Ta! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:11, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Social director

Cheers for trying to stir up activity here! "Let a thousand flowers bloom!" Spıke ¬ 16:51 11-Jul-14

Thanks. Must admit the activity here while I've been quite absent from the site has been pretty dire. I do wonder sometimes whether we are being outcompeted. I would suggest a marketing programme, however I don't have the time and I am very against commercial marketing myself (cos of those lefty views I have). I don't know whether you have any ideas on how to make our site more known about? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:57, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

Romartus keeps saying that one of the promises Wikia kept making during his site visit to San Francisco was to shake a few dollars loose for writing competitions with actual prizes instead of photos of them. But no follow-through. I am aware of your leftie views, hence my quote of Mao Tse-Tung above. Spıke ¬ 17:08 11-Jul-14 PS--You may be reversing cause and effect, as feedback from you (and Anton199) is a big motivator for writers to keep writing. Spıke ¬ 17:12 11-Jul-14

Edit Conflict: Hahaha. Missed that one. To be fair I'm not a Maoist! Certain people on certain sites have (judging by their tool bar) managed to set up pages linking to their site on facebook, reddit, twitter etc. If they are successful they could convince the portion of the internet that cares for Uncyc that our site is no longer what we are and instead an inactive wasteland whose users have moved on. I'm sure you are aware of this as much as I and I certainly don't propose to start a war with anyone but I feel we may need to reach out to people to tell them that actually there are two options in this world. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:16, July 11, 2014 (UTC)
Yes. We've always had lots of active members here but many just don't interact which means our community of regulars becomes very small. Notable exceptions of course are TheWikiMan and Everyotherusernamewastaken. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:16, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ruddy Hell...it's Harry and the UnSignpost!

Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:45, July 15, 2014 (UTC)
Well thank you sir! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:45, July 15, 2014 (UTC)
No problem! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:45, July 15, 2014 (UTC)
Thank you very much for this UnSignpost! I really enjoyed it! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:48, July 28, 2014 (UTC)

edit Counties of England

Goodness! a veteran Uncyclopedian working on content! I again reference Scotland at Garter. Also, thanks for the UnSignpost! Spıke ¬ 11:08 16-Jul-14

No probs. Veteran - really? I've only been here a year and a bit. I'm trying to find my feet again after that long break and get back into writing. Counties of England isn't a masterpiece but it's your standard article and that's a start. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:11, July 16, 2014 (UTC)

edit Inappropriate Uncyclopedia: articles

Thanks for finding these two inappropriate uses of the Uncyclopedia: space. I don't think these VFD nominations require a vote, and have deleted the articles in question. Spıke ¬ 13:15 17-Jul-14

It's my pleasure. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:52, July 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Hans Brinker

Your wish was my command! (Although the next one might not be.) Anton199 suggested the final digression. Spıke ¬ 19:15 1-Aug-14

Suits me. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:15, August 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit Commonwealth of Nations

I copy-edited one section. The Intro is still very tough to get through; it is too heavy on inside jokes for an Intro and in a couple places, it dabbles in editorializing. Relative to Gambia, I cannot tell what is happening and when. Britain increased the Commonwealth budget for the defense of Gambia? (The British budget?) Britain got queasy about Gambia? Which? And the last sentence restates the joke. The former final paragraph (plus quotation) I broke off and put at the end of the article; a prognosis is fine but clearly is not part of an Intro.

Meanwhile, you may have noticed that UnNews is all me the last week; two requests that other writers enhance their articles went unanswered. If you wish to review the news and contribute, it will very probably go Above the Fold. Spıke ¬ 16:42 3-Aug-14

UnNews sorted although I ended up writing a shoddy piece based off a Guardian news title play on words, which covers an event you appear to have already written about. Commonwealth problems I will get round to in the future. I am back from holiday though! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:20, August 4, 2014 (UTC)

That is good to hear! Yes, not only is the Gaza scuffle covered (in a story with a dateline that feeds Gaza War), but your approach was Uncyclopedia-centric. I'll go with Romartus's Stop-The-War-commemorations story this time, but try again! Spıke ¬ 11:36 4-Aug-14

I totally agree. Romartus' article is clever. In other news I've noticed (and prepare to approach cautiously) that you've written or edited an article on Keynesian economics! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:39, August 4, 2014 (UTC)

Edited. Although Keynesianism is now allegory, yesterday it was harangue. Overnight Anon seemed to replace some of the harangue with essentially a rebuttal, so I tried to lighten it up a little. 14:45 On a very related note, my Town meeting has gotten 0 votes all week. Is it a downer to read? Spıke ¬ 14:54 4-Aug-14

Thank you for your VFH vote; I assume that means it is not a downer to read. And what did you think of Keynesianism? Spıke ¬ 13:05 6-Aug-14

It's great but I feel personally that it should give more credit to its achievements in 1940s British politics as well because whatever you may think of Keynes and his ideas, he didn't half save the British economy by begging for loans of the Americans and promoting the construction of our amazing welfare state (though this may belong in the actual John Maynard Keynes article). In other words seems very American-centric. "It is an error to say that Bush laid the groundwork for America's current dabble in Keynesianism, as that would imply deliberate planning" loved that quote though. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:06, August 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Forum image

I think you haven't noticed the bottom part of that picture. Just saying. I'll let you figure out what it is all about... Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:29, August 5, 2014 (UTC)

HOLY SHIT! It's a dick. I just thought it was a thumb (trust Anton to zoom in when he sees a penis!). Guess we could crop but then might as well leave it as no one else noticed. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:17, August 6, 2014 (UTC)
I wonder how you thought a thumb could get there... Scott, what girls' pictures are you looking at? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:12, August 6, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ukrainian Nazi Party

Today, Rei added a small section about Nazism to the Ukraine article. I moved his paragraph to the 'Politics sections, but could you, please, take a look yourself to see if it fits there and/or if it can fit better? Here's the link: [1] Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:52, August 7, 2014 (UTC)

I found this paragraph completely ill-advised. The article is a FA anyway and "is presumed not to need new help being funny"; the paragraph in question is written with the overt purpose of cross-selling the editor's new article; Extermination Humor is not funny if it's true, and not funny if it isn't, and the new footnote only serves to insist that the extermination is true. I'd have no problem adding a See also to a Featured Article, as this is "bringing it up-to-date" in a world where the set of existing Uncyclopedia articles changes. I left a sentence as there was already a section describing political parties. Spıke ¬ 14:02 7-Aug-14
PS--Please visit VFD, as there are several deserving articles with 4 votes, and I am reluctant to delete them even with Romartus voting my way. Spıke ¬ 14:19 7-Aug-14
"Extermination humor"? Hmm, perhaps you haven't been following the conflict in Ukraine, but the key argument that Russia has been driving home with a hammer is claims that the current Ukranian government are Nazis. Not figuratively, but literal Nazis. It's constantly in the Russian media (many examples here, but you can find them all over the place, it's absurdly common), and it's the main reason cited by the rebels for fighting against them - even though the two right wing parties' candidates got under 2% of the votes combined in the last election. The coverage is to the point that it's totally jumped the shark, with accusations that they're building concentration camps, publicly crucifying children in towns they take over, harvesting the organs of dead (or even living) soldiers, calling for mass extermination of Russians, etc. The humor is at the over the top nature of the Russian portrayal of Ukraine.
Regardless, it was just a couple sentences added to be able to link the two together; I'm fine with a "see also" if you'd rather. -- Rei (talk) 15:38, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
Rei, I will take a look at the article and judge the additions. Russian propaganda would of course do anything to say Ukraine was a terrible state but the banning of the Ukrainian Communist Party raises some questions about the freedom of expression in that country. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:28, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
I stand with Anton on this I'm afraid. The policy is not to tamper with a featured article unless you are updating it or adding something hilarious and while your attempt is definitely political satire I don't feel it's something new and original enough to make a point in the article as the article bias' itself in favour of Ukraine and against Russia. Nevertheless please don't let this deter you from writing more on the subject in a separate article. Anton has helpfully set up a red link to the Ukraine Nazi Party. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:34, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
Be sure not to focus on the truth of the material or the rectitude of the real-world actors but on whether and how to make this a funnier website. For example, turning the bad guys into good guys and vice versa is a valid humor technique — with Pollyanna innocence and/or portraying the "encyclopedia writer" as clueless. Using an article to ridicule one of two extremist groups veers close to advocacy unless done very cleverly. Spıke ¬ 16:40 7-Aug-14
Interesting event: I went to Russia last week (for two days and a half) and while walking in Moscow caught sight of a notice, printed on a road, saying "US and Bruxelles are sponsoring neo-fascism in Ukraine" (in English). However, I don't remember hearing any other mentions of fascism or nazism during that stay, though I know that this is one of the most recurrent accusations that Russia throws at the new state. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:33, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
I'm not surprised. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:58, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews topics

  • Your feature TV Highlights on the Front Page currently has content that overwhelms the departments that it is side-by-side with. Would you please do, or suggest, something?
  • I have locked down {{RecentUnNews}}, after a registered vandal replaced it with the viral photo of a man stretching his butt-hole, pending a better solution (for Uncyclopedia, not for his butt-hole). I'm sorry this prevents you from listing your UnNewses on the website main page, but if you write one, hint, hint, I'll list it. Spıke ¬ 04:03 10-Aug-14
Thanks. I'll try. This Summer's been as packed as hell. I'm really struggling to make time for Uncyclopedia which saddens me. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:27, August 10, 2014 (UTC)
It has always been one of our goals to sadden you. Spıke ¬ 12:48 10-Aug-14
Stop it...you make me cry too hard. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:52, August 10, 2014 (UTC)
Damn it, I am simply giving you another grammar lesson: A comma after Uncyclopedia would have helped. Spıke ¬ 13:21 10-Aug-14
'Commanist'!--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:54, August 17, 2014 (UTC)
All hail semi colenins! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:13, August 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit IRC add Unsignpost

Unfortunately I am shit at HTML and even shitier at JavaScript so maybe you could write the script for the banner for me? TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 10:44, August 19, 2014 (UTC)

What banner? I thought you were talking about writing an article for the UnSignpost in the forum... Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:01, August 19, 2014 (UTC)
You're not the only one who is shit at doing that I'm afraid. Spike or Puppy are the best people to ask to write it and then you'll need Romartus' permission to put it up there.
Anton, my good friend the WikiMan refers to the site's main banner. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:29, August 19, 2014 (UTC)
He is not just shit at HTML but at English and at humor. The only thing he is not shit at is diverting people from writing funny pages, and the only thing he has done here is his campaign to set up a new forum to further divert people from writing funny pages so they can chat with him. The best place to do this is on a certain other website, where he opened an account one day before opening an account with us. I will oppose the use of the site banner in this effort, and I don't think you should feed it either with the UnSignpost. Spıke ¬ 11:52 19-Aug-14
Sorry, but I think this comment was too harsh, no matter what TheWikiMan's goal in this forum is. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:00, August 19, 2014 (UTC)
Agreed. That was an inappropriate attack on a fellow user Spike. If you do not wish to use an IRC channel then that's fine but those who want to have one should be allowed to express themselves without taking ad hominem punches based on their choice of websites to use. My advice to you WikiMan is to take up the question of banner promotion with the admin responsible for the banner, Romartus and the formatting with Puppy if Spike is unhappy to do so himself. If you wish for an UnSignpost article I will post it if you write one. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:46, August 19, 2014 (UTC)
I only agreed in theory as regards an IRC channel. I don't think the case has been argued that it is a requirement for this site. I was influenced by ScottPat's re-posting of Puppy's points about what can happen if that channel is run a certain way. And yes, let's keep this civilised. All points of view considered. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:08, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit UKIP Manifesto

Hi! I found a featured article you might be interested in! Enjoy! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 00:50, August 24, 2014 (UTC)

The UKIP's real manifesto is enough to bring hilarity to the topic. Thanks for the article. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:25, September 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ladies and gentlemen! We would like to announce the winner of the 2014 Summer Foolitzer Prize...

Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner Summer 2014

Congratulations! You deserved it! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 00:03, August 25, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks (2 months have gone by!!!!) Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:42, October 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Keynesianism bis

I have fleshed this out a bit and prepared a container (Section 4) for an overview of the British experience. Only, I don't know what the British experience was, I don't have the take on the welfare state that you seem to, and I won't be as funny as you might. Could you jump in at that section? Even rough themes would be welcome and I will polish them. Spıke ¬ 14:10 1-Sep-14

PS--I also commented out the small print at the end of your {{TVHighlights}} (regarding how viewers in various nations could tune in the programs described). The boilerplate was getting old and it made this feature much longer than the features in neighboring columns. It would be great if you could freshen up the content; it is a gift-that-keeps-on-giving. Spıke ¬ 14:33 1-Sep-14

I had a crack at the article. I know little about Keynes' work in the 1940s either. But I remember reading in Andrew Marr's History of Modern Britain that he was key to getting the US to give Britain large loans which allowed Britain to establish Attlee's famous welfare state expansion. My take on it probably needs a few more jokes. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:43, September 1, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! I've post-edited it to sort out theory versus practice between the two sections, so that your piece flows better. However, being a hidebound Tory, I don't see class warfare as inherently funny, so you need to flesh out the bits about slave trade and (if possible) the US Senate to make your humor strategy more evident. Spıke ¬ 14:46 1-Sep-14

OK, that turned out well. Now, Section 2 hews closely to the prior author's version. I happen to think it is true about Keynesians, and amusingly so, but I've criticised stuff like this elsewhere as jaunty blogging rather than writing to amuse. Do you agree that Section 2 is much less funny than the rest of the page? Spıke ¬ 17:49 1-Sep-14

I'm presume you refer to "How to advocate it"? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:39, September 1, 2014 (UTC)
If so I suggest that we go for ridiculous comedy that has no bias. Can't think of anything at the moment. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:45, September 1, 2014 (UTC)

Well, I was going to suggest that we burn it to the ground instead (having added plenty of stuff so no one misses it), but if something ridiculous occurs to you, dump it in. Spıke ¬ 18:49 1-Sep-14

edit PLS

Hi Scott! Are you going to write for the PLS this year? Starts tomorrow!

The Commonwealth of Nations is a great piece (as many of your articles) and it would be great to have you contribute to this competition! By the way, I showed Emu War to a friend of mine and it's now one of his favourite Uncyclopedia articles. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:27, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

Thank you Anton, I'm afraid I can't as my time for Uncyc is almost non existant at the moment. I hope the PLS goes well though. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:01, September 20, 2014 (UTC)
I understand completely. Just know that if you find a few hours to write something, you are most welcome to participate! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:46, September 20, 2014 (UTC)
I've just seen the PLS page. It almost brings me to tears to think that Uncyclopedia has come to this. Alas I gave it what I could back when I had time to spare. There's never been comedy quite like Uncyc. It's in its own niche comedy style, nowhere else in written comedy used to parody publically accessible information websites in long-winded articles. My friends find the stuff on here quite funny so it is not humour that we lack. Perhaps it is that we were portrayed as a meme out of fashion, perhaps that we allowed crap to infest the site in its middle ages, perhaps that long-winded articles take too long to read compared to lame fb memes. Who knows! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:18, September 21, 2014 (UTC)
Well, not all articles are so long-winded. I'd be happy to write some shorter articles about popular redlink topics, but then you hit the wall of not fully addressing the subject matter. More pictures with captions or diagrams (ala Buzzfeed) has been my motto, as I usually scan them first. --Nikau (talk) 04:53, September 22, 2014 (UTC)
I understand you completely, being in exactly the same state of mind. However, in this case, your feelings still seem a bit misplaced to me. Let's be optimistic: the PLS has just started and will last for two weeks, so don't you think we'll get at least enough participants to be able to determine the first, second and third places? I have a friend (the one whom I mentioned above), who is willing to join Uncy. As far as I know, he might even submit an article to the competition. I am sure there will be more.
As to the reasons of Uncyclopedia lacking in popularity, I would blame the fact, that though the quality of our featured articles is a way higher than almost everything else you'll find on the Internet, it's still hard to convince an outsider about how good we are, if nine out of ten articles we have (including the ones on the most important topics) are terrible. I'll leave you on this positive note! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:56, September 21, 2014 (UTC)
Enough hand-wringing! We all have Outside Lives (well, the rest of you do, anyway; and in fact I held the Down Marker at a semi-pro American football game this afternoon) but we make time for Uncyclopedia. If you elect not to, then please don't bemoan how dead the site has become without you, unless you are preparing for a triumphant return that will personally save the site. I was enthused today to see both returned Uncyclopedian emeritus Nikau, Llwy-ar-lawr, and Snagglepuss, writing original concepts, and to see Romartus, the only millionaire Uncyclopedian, promise that one of his manservants will cough up some actual cash in a future competition. At any rate, rather than revert I.P. Anon until the muse hits, I have submitted two articles; they both are in technical violation of the contest rules but will avoid the impression of total apathy. About which, don't complain, do something about it! Spıke ¬ 00:43 22-Sep-14
Me, writing original concepts? All I've been doing is bringing over old stuff; I haven't managed to come up with anything new (at least, anything that turned out to be any good). Unless that wasn't what you meant. -– Llwy-ar-lawr talk contribs 02:40 22 Sep 2014

I would gladly write for this website if I had the time, I do not attempt to dicredit it. I simply wish to address some problems that we as a community need to solve. My apologies to Anton, I presumed PLS lasted this weekend (just passed) only. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:27, September 22, 2014 (UTC)

PS - Two weeks eh? I'll see what I can do. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:24, September 22, 2014 (UTC)

So you are actually writing, huh? Then I won't try to divert your attention. (Seriously, thanks!)
On the topic of two weeks, that's the usual way. Uncyclopedia:List of writing competitions states that official competitions last for two weeks and one week is reserved to judging, while individually-hosted ones (such as the Happy Monkey) can have a different planning. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:21, September 22, 2014 (UTC)
Well thanks for informing me as I wasn't aware of that before. Try to keep the UnSignpost running in my intermission. I've added a new article for September. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:25, September 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Catch up

Hello there ScottPat, as you have probably noticed I wasn't overly active recently, the reasons being having limited computer access and my computer being broke. I was wondering what has happened, what has changed and so on while I was away TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 18:16, September 21, 2014 (UTC)

Unfortunately I have not been active either, and probably won't be for the best part of a few more months. I think the PLS competition is in dire need of a second competitor. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:18, September 21, 2014 (UTC)

The what competition? TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 18:48, September 21, 2014 (UTC)

PLS Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:26, September 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:England may be next to secede from UK

I gave this one a headline that might make it more compelling for the reader to find out what the story is, and rephrased the lede so that the sentences say what happened instead of what someone was thinking. Your points are funny but the UnNews still puts them in the words of nobody; for instance, "MPs." Spıke ¬ 12:23 23-Sep-14

PS--I have added a new ending for your perusal and approval. Separately: What is the start of the second paragraph saying? That thinking something was preposterous? or that King George's act was preposterous? Farage's name should come first (to prevent the impression that it is more quotes from Hague); and can you describe Farage better than "another political supporter"? Spıke ¬ 12:31 23-Sep-14

Needed more, in my opinion. I've turned that sentence around, not meaning to add or subtract anything from the meaning; post-edit me if it has done. Spıke ¬ 18:53 23-Sep-14

None of the King Georges (we have had 6 of them!) have ever had feudal rights over Parliament and so it was not he than signed the Act of Union 1707 but his government. We had no Prime Minister at the time (an office only introduced 2 decades later) so I simply said that the Georgian Government was responsible for the act. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:58, September 23, 2014 (UTC)
PS - The English Democrats are an official political party (all be it a minor one) and Farage is certainly not a member of them. Also Farage and William Hague would not get on as fellows. I have post edited to take all three points into account. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:00, September 23, 2014 (UTC)

Very good. Spıke ¬ 19:33 23-Sep-14

PS--I deliberately used small-d democrat so as not to mean the party; like small-l libertarians, a growing and desperate population now that the capital-L ones seem to be suddenly dormant in the U.S., probably not wanting their taxes to be audited. Spıke ¬ 01:50 25-Sep-14

Good point. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:41, September 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit User:ScottPat/Land reform

I am deeply hurt that, on a website that has a Senior Editor with portfolio for Latin America, you set out on such an article by yourself. I have made it quite clear, in numerous articles on various nations I have never visited, that land reform, whatever the rosy intentions, is inherently hilarious because it is tried and true at getting farms into the hands of people who know nothing about farming.

Separately, the PLS category of Collaborations is empty. Hint, hint. Spıke ¬ 01:48 25-Sep-14

Well we don't have an article on land reform and I am allowed to write it my way.
I'm not sure I have the time for a collaboration as well but if you have a good idea and start an article, I'll do my best. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:39, September 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ad hominem

I loved the article, dude! Great job! I saw that you said you were looking for a photo for the intro. After surfing through google, I found this diagram and I thought the faces looked pretty funny.
Adhominemabusive
If you put a witty caption of some sort, maybe it could work. Just a suggestion. If you don't like it, you don't have to use it. I still think the article is hilarious without an intro picture. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:47, September 27, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks. I think I'll use it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:04, September 27, 2014 (UTC)
No problemo. Always happy to help. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:11, September 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit Trigonometry

Thanks for your votes! But the "unfunny" quote you removed was one of the few Russian Reversals I like; because after you decode it, you find there was a joke inside the joke (the uselessness in real life of trigonometry). Spıke ¬ 11:03 11-Oct-14

I see what you mean but I think that both the meme itself and the statement that "Maths has no actual use in life" are both pretty clichéd. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:05, October 11, 2014 (UTC)

All right. It is not like we don't flog the "no actual use" theme to death in the rest of the article. Spıke ¬ 11:16 11-Oct-14

edit UnNews:UKIP targets Ebola

Promising UnNews! I am ready to lay out an Ebola side-by-side! But the first clause of the lede is not what the story is about; and please get the dateline right (town name in all capitals, and perhaps something more specific than UK, not in all caps). Spıke ¬ 11:07 11-Oct-14

Will do. I tried to combine two stories into one. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:09, October 11, 2014 (UTC)

That is always dicy. The way I approach that is to isolate them; do one job, with a crisp lede and clear development, then halfway through, take the reader's hand and jerk him in another direction. Separately, no matter what UnNews:Style says — and as far as I can tell, it says nothing — quotations in a story about Britain should use single quotes, unless you want to go whole-hog and use American spelling, and then there should be some comedy point to compensate for baffling your reader. Spıke ¬ 11:16 11-Oct-14

WOAH! Since when did we Brits not use "" these? It is how we write - at least now. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:27, October 11, 2014 (UTC)
Wikipedia to the rescue: "Single quotes are more usual in the United Kingdom and South Africa, though double quotes are also common there." I fall into the latter group then as I have never been taught to write with single quotation marks and I know few people who do. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:30, October 11, 2014 (UTC)

Romartus for one — although he has written UnNews articles with both styles mixed together. Very well; double quotes it is. Spıke ¬ 11:47 11-Oct-14

I use double quotes when it is a block of speech and single quotes when a line or a few words are referred to in a paragraph. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:31, October 21, 2014 (UTC)
Well that's settled then. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:48, October 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit Politics

Hi ScottPat. As you know, there is another article sitting in that space. To put your article on the feature list we need either to vote to delete what is already there or come up with a slightly different title. Ideas? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:12, October 20, 2014 (UTC)

It isn't quite finished yet but when it is I would like it to replace the current article of the same name. The current article isn't the best representation of the topic. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:08, October 21, 2014 (UTC)
OK, well you know what to do. Send the current article in that space to VFD when you're ready. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:29, October 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Devon

A great start! Thanks for attempting a VFD Save. Spıke ¬ 11:19 22-Oct-14

No probs. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:47, October 22, 2014 (UTC)
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