User talk:ScottPat

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Before writing a comment on my talk page you might want to consider a few things:

  • I only respond to ye in the tongue of Scots, en espanol, madein upein Deutsch or in BBC English. If you don't speak in one of those languages then your comment may be ignored.
  • If you want to have a discussion irrelevant to Uncyclopedia and want to talk to me about my own views on such matters then please go ahead but be warned.
  • If you post a message here and your nation does not have a flag then you run the risk of being colonialised. Then we shall run your account for you.
  • I am a friendly user and I don't mind what you post on the page as long as it is not vandalism.

Archives:

Yo

Homie Spıke ¬ 21:10 2-Mar-14

Uncyclopedia:Requested articles award

Thumbs up2

This user created List of military disasters, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


Congratulations! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:40, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:15, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
I haven't seen the "original concept" part, otherwise I would have added it! Also, as you are here, could you please take a look at Forum:RRRRRotM? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:33, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Just helping you with it. Thanks, I will take a look. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:36, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Thank you! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:47, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

How do you like this?

VolcanoEruption

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:35, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

Great! Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:45, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

How about this? - Ukraine

I thought of a paragraph which could follow the last history section (which ends by "The whole gas dispute ended when the Ukraine realised it could use the nuclear power they had to supply electricity to homes and went around building lots of nuclear power stations with a guide they bought from Russia called, "How to build a Chernobyl-type power station.""):


Cquote1 Ukrainian engineers proposed to purchase several such guides from the EU countries (for comparison), but it would basically mean joining the EU and betraying Russia's loyalty to the country. The people on the streets even exclaimed: "No Europe without Russia!" Some said that the correct interpretation is "Russia is not going to let us join Europe!" but Ukrainian people often mean two different things when talking about one, as the Cossacks from whom they descended mastered this technique. The people addressed themselves to Yanukovych, not knowing how to resolve the situation, who by that time has already flown to Russia.

When the Russian military forces arrived (they wanted to defend the Ukrainians from any military aggression from the part of the US and the European Union), they saw people climbing into Yanukovych's residence and mistook them for the American spies. In exchange, the Ukrainians mistook them for the American military forces (the uniforms used by Russian soldiers bared the "Made in the USA" inscriptions). This situation lasted for weeks. Yanokuvych, not being able to return to Kiev (because of the rumours about American spies) and not being able to rule over Ukraine from Russia's Rostov-on-Don, talked about giving up his post. Putin advised him strongly to keep on struggling and even said "Our soldiers will stand behind the Ukrainian people", meaning that he was willing to support them.

However, the USA, which has been watching the Ukrainian situation since the beginning, forced the European countries to accept Ukraine into the European Union. Yanukovych gave up his post.

Cquote2

However, I cannot imagine what else to say. Could you help, please? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:09, March 9, 2014 (UTC)

If I may kibitz: Everyone knows what Chernobyl means, so this joke should simply name-drop and not be so direct. Fleed/flied fails as a pun as one of the alternatives wants to be "flown" (unless you rephrase). So much description of unanimous opinion of this or that bloc reads as though you are presenting serious ideologies for comparison; I suggest you instead report episodes and let the reader decide what the actors were thinking. Never state what they (Yanokuvych) are thinking yourself; an encyclopedia writer would not know.
I have a new UnNews with mostly parochial news but using Ukraine/Crimea as an analogy, if you'd like to play off it. Spıke ¬ 15:37 9-Mar-14
OK, thanks, I modified it! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:43, March 9, 2014 (UTC)
There are more words to mince:

Cquote1 Ukrainian engineers requisitioned several such guides from the EU countries (for comparison), but Purchasing discarded the request as unfaithful to Russia. The people on the streets chanted: "No Europe without Russia!" Some said that this meant, "Russia will not let us join Europe!" but the Ukrainians learned from the Cossacks how to mean two different things when talking about one. Protesters went to Yanukovych's home, but he had already flown to Russia.

When Russian troops arrived to protect Ukraine from any US/EU aggression, they tragically mistook for American spies the citizens climbing into Yanukovych's residence, just as the citizens mistook the Russians, surely because of the unfortunate Made in USA labels on their uniforms. The stand-off lasted for weeks.

Yanokuvych, unable to return to Kiev (because of the rumours about American spies), nor to rule in exile from Rostov-on-the-Don, proposed to abdicate, but Putin talked him into staying. Putin pledged his support, or at least the support of the Russian troops.

However, the USA, which had been watching the Ukrainian situation since the beginning, forced the European countries to accept Ukraine into the European Union. Yanukovych gave up his post.

Cquote2

Spıke ¬ 16:02 9-Mar-14

Great, thanks! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:18, March 9, 2014 (UTC)

Scots wha hae!

Hi Scott, Spike recommended I look you up as a fellow Scot, I've just started contributing a little to the site. Hope to talk soon! :) Berek (talk) 22:42, March 13, 2014 (UTC)

Hello there! Nice to meet you. Yes I am half-Scottish however I don't currently reside in Scotland (I'm sort of a Scot in exile!). I'll come over to your talk page and talk there! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:20, March 14, 2014 (UTC)

Your welcome message

The headings Useful Services and Requested Articles (which, incidentally, each contain one more capital letter than is Wikipedia/Uncyclopedia house style), show up on my screen (for instance, on User talk:Photons) as numbered heads. So the first section I wrote him is Section 3. This could be confusing, even though your heads are third-level and not as prominent as the eventual real sections. Please consider using ;Unnumbered heads as I do. Spıke ¬ 12:22 16-Mar-14

PS--{{Writing funny stuff}} is a recent template that Romartus and I use to tie together all the pages of potential interest to a new registrant. It is comparatively less important to direct him to a random page, as the main page has already done. Spıke ¬ 12:49 16-Mar-14

Notified. I will change it as soon as I can. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:38, March 18, 2014 (UTC)

Ukraine

I don't know if you saw the discussion above but I am going to insert the final paragraph (developed by Spike) into the history part with some additions. You are welcome to add anything (images or text) if you have time! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:01, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Looks great! Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:38, March 18, 2014 (UTC)

USP

I know that you are very busy right now and I await the time when you'll come back here to edit regularly (or not regularly)! But the UnSignpost still needs to be issued and so I will be creating a new one soon. If you find enough time, you can contribute. If you don't, don't, that's fine. And from now on, if I am making any new issue, I will be adding a link to it on the main page and not necessarily here, so if you feel like editing, you can always see if I am working on something or not! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:56, March 18, 2014 (UTC)

Glad you noticed that there is news going on lately, mostly involving shiny new users! Spıke ¬ 11:59 18-Mar-14
Thanks Anton. I am still active (just). I'm afraid I am going through a very busy period of life so I may not be article producing for a while, however I have no intention of leaving or becoming permanently less active. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:38, March 18, 2014 (UTC)
I ain't buying this. I have heard these claims of distractions in Real Life from several users, and I think this Real Life is grossly overrated. Spıke ¬ 18:45 18-Mar-14
Hahaha, isn't it just! But Uncyclopedia doesn't pay, not that it should do. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:48, March 18, 2014 (UTC)
Can't buy me love her... Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:13, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Sorry...I don't get it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:06, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Beatles, my friend. Also, Uncyclopedia is she. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:36, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Beatle soup? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:41, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
I don't know. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:55, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

Accountant on VFD

I claim this is now saveable. The previous section that relied on Repetition Humor (also on Double Entry Ledger Humor) is gone. Please flip your vote on VFD if you see fit — and add illustrations if you can! Spıke ¬ 18:15 21-Mar-14

Thanks for withdrawing your VFD nomination, and with review comments to boot. I'll work on the Intro straight away. However, I did not intend to explain "Webster." The clueless Uncyclopedia article writer obviously thinks that Webster is a basketball player. (In fact, we had such a basketball player this year, but he had neither of the stated flaws in his game.) Spıke ¬ 12:28 22-Mar-14

Blanker

Allow me to roll him back with Rollback All, which performs a "bot" edit and changes his edit to a "bot" edit, so that neither appear in most views of Recent Changes. Also do not give him the satisfaction of a reaction. Spıke ¬ 16:33 22-Mar-14

Oooo...that's sneaky. Didn't know that existed. I'll ignore it next time then. I just thought that you'd gone for a while so no point in letting vandalism hang around. I would think he'd get rather annoyed we were rollbacking him straight after he edited as well but your way would definitely give him even less satisfaction. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:38, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

As his last edit was described as: Replaced page with 'admins are so butthurt right now' , his goal is to cause annoyance, not to hope to permanently change the wiki. You may revert him yourself; just use Rollback All for the above reason. Spıke ¬ 16:41 22-Mar-14

When you say "just use rollback all" are you implying that I am able to perform this task (I had presumed that this was an admin only thing). Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:43, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

If you have Teh Rollbackz, you can use it. See UN:HAX to install. Spıke ¬ 16:56 22-Mar-14

Hah! Anton199 is listening in and installed it first! Spıke ¬ 17:00 22-Mar-14

Regarding "I just thought that you'd gone for a while," I was back inside Accountant. Spıke ¬ 17:01 22-Mar-14

Me? Listening? No, I am just sitting close to both of you and hear everything you say. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:02, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
Snowscape

It has started to snow. About three times per week, forever; the snows in the last two weeks melt off before I have to shovel them. But college baseball started today, the first two games moved to a site apparently with artificial grass. The forecast for tomorrow's third game does not have the temperature rising above freezing. Spıke ¬ 17:33 22-Mar-14

Well, baseball should not abandoned in favour of snowball fights. What temperature is it now, approximately? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:54, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

Where? Spıke ¬ 17:57 22-Mar-14

Edit Conflict:
Unlucky about the snow. On the contrary over here in England we have had the most mild winter in years. Apart from the monsoon, of which flooded fields still exist around me, the temperatures have never dropped much below 5 degrees Celsius, which is amazing. Recently warm weather and Sun has led to an early summer. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:59, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
At your place, Spike. I would envy you, if that was earlier in winter. In Paris snow happens about once every century. And as the previous two winters have had some snow I don't expect it to happen till the 23d century. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:03, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

It is a balmy 43 (6 Celsius) here right now; but again, tomorrow is supposed to be much colder. For short motorcycle trips and long stretches seated in front of a ball field, +10C is my lower limit. Spıke ¬ 18:05 22-Mar-14

I see. So in summer it will be like -50C? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:16, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
I'd have thought the people of New Hampshire be more used to cold winters. My lower limit for going outside in pursuit of leisure would be 5 degrees C but there you go. Anton, in weather terms if you want something of everything then pop over the Channel to Britain. On most years we get a week's worth of snow and enough of it to bring the country to a halt. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:18, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

Summer here gets as hot as other inland places; there are usually several runs of consecutive days with highs above +35C and uncomfortable sleeping; other times, down to +15C. This year, no one is assuming there will be a "summer" at all. ScottPat, +5C is pleasant to go out in the winter (for example, to top off the oil in the car), but not to sit stationary for five hours of a baseball doubleheader. Spıke ¬ 18:22 22-Mar-14

PS--We are "more used to cold winters" — but that doesn't mean we like them! But our many skiers do. Spıke ¬ 18:23 22-Mar-14


It is a toasty +7C now as we approach noon (We are already on summer time) and they get ready for their third baseball game. And no bone-chilling wind either. But I'm staying indoors. PS--I ridicule the Scots at the latest revision of Accountant--Simsie started it by adding that ledger paper is like graph paper in plaid. Spıke ¬ 15:43,15:45 23-Mar-14

I cursed the weather over here. First day of winter it seems. Don't know the temperature but the strong wind and hail adds a wind chill factor to it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:46, March 23, 2014 (UTC)

Accountant

Have found a web page refreshing once a minute with the play-by-play from the frozen mountaintop. Meanwhile, your new puns at Accounting are so contrived the UN would rule it torture (of our reader). Spıke ¬ 16:57 23-Mar-14

You know my English isn't good enough to interpret metaphors - give the Scot a chance! Do you think the puns are good or bad? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:17, March 23, 2014 (UTC)

So neither "contrived" nor "torture[d]" was clear enough? Spıke ¬ 17:36 23-Mar-14

But the point of a pun is to cause a bit of pain. Do they cause too much? I just tried to do some clever stuff with the English language to get a few jokes in there. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:38, March 23, 2014 (UTC)

That was as clever as drawing and quartering a chicken before you cook it. I minced a ton of words, and moved your pun on "actuary" out of the Intro, as the article is not about actuary. That title, by the way, is all yours. Spıke ¬ 11:14 24-Mar-14

Thank you

For writing that article! Just saying. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:58, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

What article? Commonwealth of Nations? I have barely begun. I seem to have found time to write it this weekend although I really need to touch up Art of War at one point. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:01, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
Silly me! UnSignpost article! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:07, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

Pee Review

Hi! I was just looking at the Pee Review queue and noticed a few articles from you that have been on it for ages now (as in almost a year). Do you want them all looking at? If so I'll work my way through them as quick as possible. Reply here or on the pee review pages, I'll see it either way. --ChiefjusticeXBox 20:30, March 23, 2014 (UTC)

I was writing the Pee Review for Remi Gaillard but lost it a while ago. Could I still review it? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:31, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
If you want to review them please do. I am not too bothered. Those reviews I asked for when I was pretty new to the game. Remi Gaillard is almost a fan based article but hopefully contains some comedy! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:46, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
Anton, I'm happy for you to carry on with this review in that case, let's try and do it sooner (ideally before someone has waited on the pee queue for over a year). If you're struggling to find the time let me know and I'll do it. --ChiefjusticeXBox 06:48, March 26, 2014 (UTC)

Thomas the Tank Engine

Thomas is a blue tank engine. He is engine number 1. Thomas lives on the island of Sodor. He has a branch line, and two passenger coaches named Annie and Clarabel. Thomas is cheeky and fussy. He is best friends with Percy.

James the Red Engine

James is a red tender engine. He is engine number 5. James is vain, and is a mixed-traffic engine, meaning that he can pull both freight and passengers. He likes to think of himself as a really splendid engine.

The preceding unsigned comment was added by Anon (talk • contribs)

Well thank you for that information indeed. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:36, March 25, 2014 (UTC)

The UnSignpost is back from holiday

Now you can read what you wrote! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:02, March 28, 2014 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:VFH/IPod Car (2nd nomination)

I remember that you voted for it once and so could you check it out again, please? There are no more subpages, everything is organised better and there is even a new image! Still, nobody votes... (There was a potential problem with the article fitting the main page, but I think that I solved it). Thanks, Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:24, March 29, 2014 (UTC)

I will have a look again. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:19, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for the comment and - yes, please - as for the review! I have submitted it to the Pee Review queue! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:33, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
OK be warned it may take a while for me to get round to. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:38, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Well, I don't think it's going to be longer than the Remi Gaillard review I am trying to get round to. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:41, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Hahaha...are you a Remi fan? A French friend first showed Remi's videos to me and I loved them. So absurd. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:43, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

What was that?

[1]? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:02, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

Big fingers, small touch screen. If I revert and it reads "(mobile)" please revert me as that was most probably unintentional. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:21, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Sure, I guessed that! Do you have the Rollbacks with change summary? Very handy and if you accidentally press on the button, you'll have to make a change summary before the revert, so you'll be able to cancel it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:28, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Ooo...useful tool thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:32, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
You're welcome! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:36, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Also you've been a really active member of Uncyclopedia recently and yet a few people have shouted at you so I'd just like to say, thanks a tonne for being a great guy Anton and you deserve that award much more than I do. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:41, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Thank you for the praise!

Ah, certainly not! I would have never been an Uncyclopedian if last April I wouldn't have received welcomes from two people: you and Spike. I still remember the first UnSignpost I have received, as well as many offers of help and a few review requests! This was one of a few things that made me stay here!

Many thanks for everything, Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:56, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

By the way what happened to your friend who persuaded you to join? He's not active anymore! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:02, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
You could ask him. I think that he's very busy now! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:57, March 31, 2014 (UTC)

Happy anniversary!

So you have edited on Uncyclopedia for exactly one year! I really hope that you've had pleasure being on this site, talking to different people, writing articles, taking part in projects, leading the UnSignpost and much more! You have done a great job here and it was a great pleasure collaborating with you on many different occasions!

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:57, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
Thank you. If I'm not mistaken your anniversary is in a few days time? Also do you like the new site banner? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:58, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
Dittos on the Ninjastar, and special praise (and a photograph of something valuable; I just don't seem to have one in my jacket just now) to Anton for using anniversaries as yet another excuse to reinforce Uncyclopedia as a social experience! This makes people want to return. Spıke ¬ 22:28 31-Mar-14
Both banners are great as well as the Blood Donations page! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:23, April 1, 2014 (UTC)

UnComic Book

PuppyOnTheRadio reworked your illustration for the 1 April site notice, but I had moved on to other things. But take the following point from his work: You advocated for your illustration (syringe plus text), then were misled into thinking there was a problem because it loaded so slowly. Well, text loads much faster than a photograph of text. Text comes "over the wire" as character codes (plus a bit of code describing the Style), whereas a photograph of text describes the shape and curvature of each letter.

Moreover, the space-saving JPG format to which you changed it, which compresses the size of the illustration as you wanted, is crappy on lettering or anything with sharp edges. (It is designed to efficiently render smooth gradients, such as faces.) Puppy, as a follow-on experiment, cropped your illustration to only the photo, and added your caption as text.

This is a better way to do this almost all of the time (perhaps even your contribution at Accountant). Because, in addition, text rendered as text (rather than included in a photo) can be searched for, and can be automatically translated to foreign languages (subject to the limitations of both those uses of "artificial intelligence"). So I'd encourage you not to 'Shoop dialogue/captions inside image uploads, and instead key the same dialogue/captions into the article where possible. Spıke ¬ 22:25 31-Mar-14

Thanks but I don't know how you add text seperately over the top of a picture. I'm not great with image formatting as you know, I just put the image out there because that was how I thought it would look. If the image had a problem with it you were completely free to fix it for me, I didn't mind. If you could tell me how to add writing over the top that would help me for the future. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:55, April 1, 2014 (UTC)

You can certainly add text aside a photo — as you intended here — by coding it as a Wikitable. If you care to code HTML, two <DIV>s that are both centered, or that would be butted up against one another but are defined to have negative margins, are superimposed. (But don't try to use that to get the text in any specific place relative to the photo, because other people are guaranteed not to see exactly what you see.)

The Site Notice makes JavaScript modify the selected page, and I don't know whether they accommodate Wikitables. That is one reason I didn't act on Puppy's optimization. Spıke ¬ 02:22 2-Apr-14

Agents on VFD

If you concur with Puppy's observation on VFD, I'll consider it settled without the five votes. Spıke ¬ 01:35 4-Apr-14

Also, seconding my flip to give Anton199 the Save on Phil Osophy would close that vote. Spıke ¬ 01:48 4-Apr-14

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