User talk:ScottPat/Archive5 (January-February 2014)

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edit Ye olde page rape

Just stopping a wee bit by for a wee bit of page rape. Did you feel it? Can't say it was good for you, but did you at least feel it? Darn. Aleister 13:24 21-12-13

edit Sloopy seconds page rape

YEAH! --ShabiDOO 18:58, December 23, 2013 (UTC)

...come on, surely this pushes the boundary! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:36, December 23, 2013 (UTC)
YOU MEAN YOU WANT THIRDS?!!??!!?!?!?!? --ShabiDOO 04:15, December 24, 2013 (UTC)
Are we talking consecutively or concurrently?                               Puppy's talk page05:07 am 24 Dec 2013

edit Original.

Original.

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 21:09, December 23, 2013 (UTC)

edit Platyroo

Be free to edit page The preceding unsigned comment was added by Louisthecoup (talk • contribs)

edit Pee Review restarted

Yesterday the entire system was modified. You can try reviewing something Lite (from now on there are two options) or normally or if you are too busy, submitting another article there. I know there is a bunch already but this may influence people to review more. At this point, everyone is needed. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:34, December 25, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you. I shall check it out in good time. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 21:05, December 25, 2013 (UTC)

edit Festivus

Happy post-Festivus! (I saw your note on Spike's page). Have your read my Festivus page? It may be more accurate than satiric, as every year the holiday grows. Do most people in your area of the world know about Festivus? Here on the Falklands it's like a national holiday. Aleister 13:33 26-12-13

I had never heard of Festivus in my life until a few days ago (23rd of December) to be precise when people kept saying "Merry Christmas Eve Eve" and I wanted to sound clever by saying something different. So a quick google search of festivals on that day gave me only one: Festivus. After a skim read of a wiki article I worked out what a wonderful festival it is and wish I had celebrated it properly. Next year I shall know! No one else I know has ever celebrated it and I'm sure that on the Moon where you live they jump for joy at the sound of the word "Festivus." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:17, December 26, 2013 (UTC)
The Wikipedia page had about a quarter of a million hits the last few days, and a quick look shows it had a quarter of a million views on December 23 a few years ago. I bet the views have gone down - contrary to uncy's Festivus page - because people who want to look it up have done so already. As Kramer would say, your hearing about the day is a "Festivus miracle". Aleister 17:18 26-12-13





PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME
FESTIVUS
PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME

--ShabiDOO 18:48, December 26, 2013 (UTC)

edit New UnSignpost

Yes, a new one was started. Concerning what is there right now, the right part is empty and the left one consists only of copied and pasted recent articles, which is not very original. So you are welcome to change anything if you have time and will. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:15, December 28, 2013 (UTC)

edit The last UnSignpost of the year

Sorry for not collaborating with you on this issue! I was not sure I could do it tomorrow and there had to be one at the end of the year! Thank you for your great articles! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 21:12, December 29, 2013 (UTC)


edit Fake Pegasus Award

Aye, tis a close competition this year, and SPIKE topped you by two feature articles. But, in pure compensation, you came into the game well into the second quarter of the year, thus had to play catch-up at the same time you played tiddlywinks and pitch-penny. A performance worthy of a champion! Congrats on the runner-up position of this unesteemed and much unsought after honor! Aleister 10:50 31-12-13

Thank you. I'll try to win it next year. I've got a few that just need polishing up and a few brewing in construction stages so hopefully I'll get a good start in January. Also I've noticed that Soggy pipped you to pole on the leader boards so you may want to constitute a plan together. I suggest you use some old tricks to "put him out of the game": sending him on a skiing holiday maybe or exposing his over-enthusiastic tribute to the pharmaceuticals industry. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:58, December 31, 2013 (UTC)
You could have had more for sure this year, and I thought you may have won it until I did the head count. I should make an official awards page for the Fake Pegasus, with flairs and trumpets. And Sog totally deserves the pole position in wikia's hall of shame, but, I must brag and bay and hoof the ground, I seem to have lapped everyone at the fork and can, like the turtle and the hare, probably lay off a year or two there and still.....whooooaaaa, was that the turtle running past??? But yo, I hope you have a happy New Year and the best of years coming up. Magick happens, Aleister 11:08 31-12-13
Happy New Year to you too Ali! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:30, December 31, 2013 (UTC)

edit Petty criticism

  • It was you nominating A bowl of ducks at VFD, right? Please sign this one and manufacture a good timestamp.
  • Headings on QVFD use US-style dates, while my signature uses the British sequence. Resisting the temptation to impose one vision of correctness where there is already a style is part of working on a multinational collaboration.
  • The reason the template on VFD has a blank line is probably to induce nominators to start typing there. That would make it easier for subsequent voters to count the # characters and get the score right.

Told you it was petty! Spıke ¬ 15:27 2-Jan-14

The first problem is rectified. The second problem is odd as I had been using British dates for ages and have seen other people use them too. Why is there a problem if some are US dates and some are British? People understand both. As to the third problem I will use the blank line for now on. Thanks for the advice! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:02, January 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit 2012 nominations

Sorry for undoing your edit, but I think that the 2012 thing was deliberate. Please, see my change summary. And did you want to put up Pup as a 2013 or 2012 candidate? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:58, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

I have reverted you, which I now realise is quite a hostile move. However I do not believe he intended it as someone already won 2012, which happens to be Romartus. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:00, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
It was not a hostile move. But I see what you mean. Yes. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:47, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

edit Help me patrol

Do the most recent edits to Channel 4 and to David Cameron make any sense to you? Spıke ¬ 19:55 9-Jan-14

PS--Are you able to flesh out Teutonic Knights? Spıke ¬ 15:23 10-Jan-14

Taking a look at all three. As pre-warning I know extremely little about the third article but will nonetheless give it a go. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:48, January 10, 2014 (UTC)
The edits to Channel4 seem to be about either made-up shows (in the case of Saw, which is a horror movie and not a Channel4 programme) or shows I am unbeknownst about. They don't seem that funny to me but I may be wrong. I can only judge them from a position as good as your position as I know little about Channel4 drama or quiz shows. I would suggest revert but shall do nothing now.
The edits to David Cameron were simply not funny and I reverted them.
I'll take a look at Teutonic Knights later. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:55, January 10, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! I was working from a paper encyclopedia on Knights. I made the request of Romartus as well, who might be able to complete it from memory. Spıke ¬ 17:57 10-Jan-14

Good old Romartus. I would suggest a history competition with him if it wasn't for that fact that wikipedia usage couldn't be controlled. The David Cameron page needs a lot of tidying up. I think an article supporting him would serve well for comedy purposes. Perhaps something that I'll knock up at sometime. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:00, January 10, 2014 (UTC)
I translate the above as: "I would suggest a history competition with him if it wasn't for the fact that I would crib Wikipedia, and he wouldn't have to." Spıke ¬ 00:08 15-Jan-14
Well I god damn hope not sir. I merely mentioned it as such for as much as I trust Romartus no one would believe either of us because of wikipedia. Besides if I was to cheat and use wikipedia why would I mention that. If I ever do get the pleasure of meeting Romartus in real life (and in the most likely scenario I would not know him as Romartus) then I shall do a history quiz. To challenge me on my knowledge of art is acceptable as I know nothing of art but to challenge ScottPat on his knowledge of history beckons a response similar to William the Marshall's response to the challenge of who should rule over him at the Battle of Lincoln in 1217. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:54, January 15, 2014 (UTC)

edit Monty Python

As our most likely expert on the subject, would you please review the recent edits of new user JimBobWails and ensure that his humor is original and not merely cataloguing material of the comedy troupe? Spıke ¬ 00:07 15-Jan-14

Most certainly I will. Probably my favourite comedy of all time, although John Finnemore may pip it to the post. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:55, January 15, 2014 (UTC)
OK so...it's basically a mix between British comedy and film memes (Star Wars: George Lucas = George Likeus (haven't a clue why! Maybe Life of Brian attempt at joke.)) mixed with Monty Python sketches. Mostly mutations of unoriginal comedy and not that funny but then the same could be said for the whole page. It's your choice on a revert. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:28, January 15, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for opening the related Forum. It may be more promising for you to undertake it than to wait for The Community (especially if you expect help from me in making funny stuff that was already funny). I reverted JimBob's edits on two such pages, quoting you in the Change Summary. Spıke ¬ 03:38 18-Jan-14

I am afraid that I cannot think of a comedial and original way to portray Monty Python on this website (hence the forum) than to write an article that describes them as a serious group of documentaries on aristocratic behaviour but that wouldn't be that amusing. Unless Romartus or the Reverend (most likely Pythonites) anyone else has an original idea then I would gladly vote for deletion on both articles mentioned on the forum at least (there may be others). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:12, January 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Confederation of British America‎‎

Do you see any humor here? Are you inclined to add some? New user NahteKavlozs has been proofreading it. Spıke ¬ 03:36 18-Jan-14

After reading the intro I gather that it is alternative history humour. I think that I could make it quite amusing. I'll make it a historic country and claim that in the 1950s the colony gained independance and formed the two countries we see today. It may be a short while before I get round to it however, so do you want me to move it to my user space? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:15, January 18, 2014 (UTC)

Not without a vote! as it is someone else's and has been in mainspace for years. Work in mainspace, at your leisure; if it has someone doing more than proofreading, I won't nominate it. The author's concept was that youse won what we call the Revolutionary War; I don't see a need to invent a more tenuous claim to get to the same result. But it does need a comedy strategy that is evident from the outset. Spıke ¬ 14:05 18-Jan-14

OK I shall work on it in mainspace. My comedy idea was to poke fun at British and American culture being mixed, I wasn't going to make it more tenuous just less spiteful and more something everyone could have a laugh at. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:32, January 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:SE England under tourism flood-watch

Featured on the Front Page (after renaming), mostly in order to do a side-by-side with Romartus's article on the Romanians getting confused with local spooks. Your shoop needed a crop created for the Front Page. Spıke ¬ 16:18 18-Jan-14

"Mostly in order to do a side-by-side..." is the comedy lacking then? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:25, January 18, 2014 (UTC)

It's funny, but the synergy with another story is what inspired me to futz with the Front Page template. Spıke ¬ 16:31 18-Jan-14

Oh ok. Sorry about the misunderstanding. I don't see it on the front page, nor do I see Romartus' page. Are you implying I need to put it on the RecentUnNews? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:32, January 18, 2014 (UTC)
Ah, sorry just seen it on UnNews front page! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:34, January 18, 2014 (UTC)

They are both on the Front Page. I didn't do anything to the Uncyclopedia main page. You are welcome to edit {{RecentUnNews}}, carefully following the instructions and the fashion of recent items. Spıke ¬ 16:35 18-Jan-14

[The rules] seem a bit out of date as they ask for an image and description and I see that that is no longer the trend. Do they need changing slightly? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:41, January 18, 2014 (UTC)

I changed a couple minor things in the instructions. The request for an image is conditional, and indeed your image with tiny lettering would not work on the main page. Images are welcome only when it would lure the reader in, and Biden works pretty well for now, though the costumed guy on the scooter might do so too. Spıke ¬ 16:59 18-Jan-14

edit UnNews:Putin denies being homophobic

Renamed (shorter is better) and copy-edited. Spıke ¬ 02:35 21-Jan-14

edit Thanks

Vandal blocked. Thanks for the shout. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:30, January 23, 2014 (UTC)

No probs he was too easy! One account, vandalise at 5:00 am when no one is around to see his vandalism - A vandal noob! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:17, January 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit Here's the spine pic

Marsspinebones

Here's the spinal/rock pic from Mars I mentioned (by user Arken), which seems to be one of maybe two or three "real" discoveries of possible-but-not-likely past life on Mars. The yellow color was added by Arken, and not on the original NASA download. Since I'm uploading all of these I may as well do an UnNews about them. What's your take on this, as a doctor and paleontologist (yes, I hacked your secret identity, but can't understand when you got your law degree with all the time exploring the polar ice caps). Aleister 11:09 23-1-14

As someone who regards every human on earth as a form of scientist I will speculate. I am not an expert in paleontology however I could talk to some geologists I know. I do not believe it to be a fossil as surely the fossil would be buried deep below the surface (as fossils form that way) and could not be exposed by weathering as surely Mars' atmosphere could not weather rock very efficiently (I may be entirely wrong here as I have done no research on this but will look into it in the next few days). I suppose an asteroid impact could have exposed it. Of course it may not be a fossil and instead the remains of a creature. A question raised is why has life on Mars (if this is life) formed a vertebrae, it is very similar to life on Earth. This could simply be a rock and probably will turn out most likely to be as most life we expect to find should be microscopic if anything. However this is very fascinating and an example of the wonders of modern science in a more intellectually developed world where people from all over can help the professionals spot stuff that needs to be examined. Please keep me informed on this and I think I will definitely do some research into it, especially weather systems on Mars. Thanks Al and thanks for the work you are doing to help these guys identify the object. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:30, January 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit Image Gallery

I know how much you love images and so you maybe you will enjoy taking under your wing the Image Gallery of the UnSignpost?

Sorry for not telling you before: I wanted to ask you about this several weeks ago and I don't remember what kept me away from doing this. I am sure that you can turn it into something great! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:47, January 25, 2014 (UTC)

P.S. If you don't like what I did so far, you can remove everything (I don't think it will be very difficult, because there are only two pictures there right now) and restart in a way you prefer. I myself don't think that it's very good. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:50, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
Thank you. I'm taking a look now and improving it. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:54, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
PS - I seem to have added two items in the same column on the menu bar. Could you see if you could fix this please? Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:56, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
Ok. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:13, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

edit User:ScottPat/The Art of Dentistry - Now The Art of War

Or, when it gets to mainspace, just Dentistry? as the title should be encyclopedic rather than detail your approach to the topic. Spıke ¬ 13:37 26-Jan-14

We have already discussed this and I am going to call it "The Art of War" (as suggested by the intro), which is a legit title as it is about a real book and I am writing about that book. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:46, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

Another option is in UnBooks. Separately, I won't vote on Monty Python on VFD: I can see that it tries to add value in a couple of places but am not able to tell whether it ever succeeds. Spıke ¬ 17:07 26-Jan-14

I don't want to put it in UnBooks as I want to make an article that describes a book, not tells a story and also the article will talk about other things to do with dentistry other than the book, hence the clarification that The Art of War "is also the general name given to the practice of Dentistry in its purest form". Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:19, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
I just read this. It is by far the best article you've written. Could use a little polishing but yes...Nice work! And the title suits the article well imho.
Id be happy to pee on it if you like. --ShabiDOO 13:53, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Pee away but remember not on French streets unless you "'ave a lissence!" I shall add it to pee review. I haven't proofread it yet so please don't judge it too soon, I'll add it after my proofread. I am glad you like it as it is hard to please your comedial tastes. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:15, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit Top Ten

Hi Scottpat. I see you've updated the voting page. While it would be nice to have a list with an exact order of which articles are the top 10...we usually list them as ties as in

1.
2.
3.
3.
3.
6.
6.
8.
9.
10.
10.
10.

even if it means that there are more than ten in total. If users equally like articles then we usually just leave it that way for top 10 lists, as well as competitions and a couple other miscelanious stuff. I'm not sure you're going to get a lot of users to bother voting in a second round (though you never know it may happen). Thanks for organising the top 10 by the way. --ShabiDOO 18:21, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

I keep getting acredited for Anton's great work all the time! I did not update the vote page I asked Anton a question once he'd updated the vote page. Please address problems to him. Thanks! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:39, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
Shabidoo, thanks for your question and comments! All in all, there are thirteen leaders. So do you think that it's fine to give all of them the award? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:53, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
Ok. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
Scott has already begun voting, so I will see if anyone else does and if no, then I'll do as you say. Do you think it's fine? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:13, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for doing and redoing all the voting but it seems that Shabidoo was right. Sorry, but I think we will forget to forget about Round 2. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:21, January 31, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Economy needs more money says Cameron

I noticed the sack Cameron is holding has the $ on it rather than £. Can you change that on the file? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:12, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

I deliberately left it as a dollar sign as that is the international symbol for money and I thought the symbolism of a sack with that symbol on is more prominent. However if this doesn't work I'd be happy to change it! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:06, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit Interview

Hi, ScottPat! I've already said hi to you and I normally call you Scott (as you told me) but this is need for the interview. So I'll start:

Journalist: Please introduce yourself to our audience in the most original way you can think about! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:42, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
BLEURGHHH!!! (Vomits) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:46, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Great start; now after this I can ask you what you think about the UnSignpost in general. (As you have nothing else left to throw out). Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
The quote that really comes to mind here is the last words a dying, drunk hobo shouted to me in the street round my local neighbourhood only two months ago, "UnSignyn...UnSignypuh-du...UnSignpost is da greatest fing I ever read in my life." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:05, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Well... So you do consider the UnSignpost a newspaper for people without a home? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:52, January 28, 2014 (UTC)
Yes I do and UnSignpost provides that home in the shape of a competition for a laptop (that we give away free to any hobo who could count to 1000 in under 10 seconds (no winners so far)) and this laptop can be used as a makeshift shelter. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:28, January 29, 2014 (UTC)
Do you mean a 1960s' computer? I think that one would work, if you took out all of the interior. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:18, January 31, 2014 (UTC)
Yeah something like that. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:02, January 31, 2014 (UTC)
Now I really don't want to be indiscreet, as are many journalists, so I will ask you something simple: what is the most important thing that we don't know about your private life? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:51, January 31, 2014 (UTC)
Well I can tell you something about my public life, I recently discovered that you can kill a cat with a soup spoon. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:42, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
Let's imagine that the soup spoon had a website. Then would this website's URL have a "wikia" inside it? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:42, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
No but you can see your reflection in it. A few users on this site can, I can't. And some people only exist as reflections, trapped inside the soup spoon. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:48, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
I can imagine. Now how do you think this influences global population? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:51, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
With increasing numbers of people ignoring both reality and the reflection world, humanity is dwindling due to lack of comedial shininess (if that's even a word!). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:53, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
And do you personally have enough humour in your life? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:14, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
There is never enough humour. There needs to be more. But there is no doubt that humour is the best thing in life. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:21, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
Best thing in life or best thing to make life better? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:03, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
Best thing in life. Afterall who needs amor when you've got humour (doesn't quite work does it!). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:58, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
So, according to you, if you are unfortunate in love, but have become the Writer of the Year on Uncyclopedia (a random question, which has no connection to any real events), you can still be happy? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:29, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
Love is hard to find true however humour is easier to find, especially if you write some ideas down and convince people they are funny. Comedy is what gains me friends and without it I would be a pretty dull person (unless you don't mind a lecture on the matter, anti-matter asymmetry or the modernisation of the British Army from 1776-1854). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:52, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
Well, it really depends on what one considers dull. I am interested in both the modernisation of British army and matter and anti-matter asymmetry (are your lectures free?)... But I guess I am abandonning my duties of a journalist. So, on the subject of love and friends, what is your favorite book? If you don't have one, you can name your favorite film or even a song. If you don't have any of them, then ... then it will be another question. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:19, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
My favourite book would probably be either, "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy" or "Desert Generals". My favourite films are "Chicken Run" and "Star Wars" and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". My favourite piece of music would probably be either "Scotland the Brave" or "Zulu Theme". Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:15, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
So you like pairs, don't you? But it is not a question, unless you want to respond to it. Which of your favorite songs do you think can become a soundtrack to the sequel to one your favorite movies based on one of your favorite book's plot? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:30, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
I think John Cleese re-enacting O'Connor's pursuit of the Italians across the deserts of North Africa to the sound of the Scottish National Anthem would be quite fitting. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:44, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
Great! And to what other questions would you like to respond? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:49, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
Yes: "Why "why" and not "Ex"?" Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:09, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
Ok. So why why and not ex? (In my opinion, it's something strongly related to psychology.) Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:35, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
Maybe it's because y is always given in a maths question and x is always the reason. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:45, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
Yes, but isn't it almost psychology? The readers of the UnSignpost think that maths and psychology are two 'exact' sciences, therefore they are rather similar. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:51, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
But Anton the readers don't get a say, they don't matter. I can make up some statistics that state that the readers think art is the most exact science. It's all about the money, the profit. Maybe that's why "y" is better. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:12, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
That means that you don't read the UnSignpost yourself? Otherwise, you would consider yourself a reader. Our readers will be very interested in this... Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:51, February 11, 2014 (UTC)
I had a girlfriend who worked at Taco Bell but would never actually eat there; is that similar? Spıke ¬ 12:42 11-Feb-14
Do you think that Taco Bell resembles the UnSignpost, and if yes - how? We address our readers the same question. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:20, February 12, 2014 (UTC)
Never been to them so wouldn't know. My local tea room has a definite resemblance though. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:09, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
Aha! How can you tell they are resemblant if you have never been there? You are definitely hiding something! Is this somehow connected to Spike's girlfriend? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:10, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
I have been to my local tea room. I would advise you to take a trip too. Alas I am yet to meet Spike's girlfriend although I am sure she is a wonderful person. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:28, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
Again: how can you be sure that she's a wonderful person, if you have never met her? The "tell me who your girlfriend is and I'll tell you who you are" does not work backwards. Is there some strange conspiracy? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:16, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
But your logic is flawed, everything works backwards (if not then upside down) and it usually works even better. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:28, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
Now, our readers complain that they can only read the UnSignpost when it is upside down. Is this why it is so? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:49, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
Yes although if they are struggling then reading it back to front also helps. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:36, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Congrats

Congratulations on winning Writer of the Year!!! A fine honor and well deserved (although you still need to earn that writer of the month award). A fine addition to the ranks of the unhonored. Aleister 15:47 1-2-14

Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:32, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
Ditto!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:46, Feb 1
)CTU( 4102 ,1 yraurbeF ,13:91 klat notnA ¡snoitalutargnoC
Thanks to all! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:48, February 1, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20140218

How about a new UnSignpost? Spike is against the Suddenly, In-Jokes! article, so I think we can put it on the USP's main page but not in the actual issue. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:57, February 17, 2014 (UTC)

Yes I was thinking this just the other day. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:37, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Hooligan

Good post-edit to my clean-up with the EDL. In addition, the article is necessarily Brit-centric (the word "hooliganism" is rare on this side of the Atlantic) and so ought not dwell on trite jokes about the name of the sport; the word "soccer" should be used either 0 or 1 time. Spıke ¬ 12:40 18-Feb-14

I think you misunderstand. The joke about football (soccer) being confined to this country is a play on the traditional view of these "hooligans" that England never wins the Football World Cup because countries like Germany, Italy and Spain always win it when it was invented in England. It has nothing to do with Australian, US or Rugby football. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:02, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

I don't think I misunderstand, and I agree entirely with your final statement. I recall reading in the article a "joke" that seemed to be added by ignorant Yanks, and think it should go. Spıke ¬ 14:16 18-Feb-14

Oh sorry! It is I who misunderstood. I will see to it right away! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:18, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

Now, given that this article is mostly for Brits, my new US-centric final section doesn't fit, but if you think it's funny, it's all yours. One problem, however, is that it has become the article's second section on hooliganism in other countries. Separately, I think the redirects should go in the other direction and the main article should be Hooligan. Spıke ¬ 19:41 18-Feb-14

Understood. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:49, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

I like your fix to my section. I have improved the Intro and the typography. Could you find a larger copy of the initial photo? Spıke ¬ 21:29 18-Feb-14

edit Great signature!

Converse high-top

Converse.

Great signature! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:59, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

No, no it's hideous. I lack visual art talent I'm afraid. Still, better than the blue standard signature. I was a bit fed up with that. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:13, February 18, 2014 (UTC)
What's with the image?? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:40, February 18, 2014 (UTC)
Oh I see two definitions of converse! I am refering to the only one that I thought existed, "To engage in a spoken exchange of thoughts, ideas, or feelings; talk" (that's number one in the Oxford English Dictionary my good man!) instead of "Archaic To be familiar; associate" which is why, I think, the trainers are named so. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:46, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Clarification

My version of "converse" in my signature is short for:

RugbyConversion

Conversion

It's how we rub the Irish noses into the ground when we score a try in the Six Nations (although this sentence is pretty poorly timed.) Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:58, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, a point-after-touchdown. In American football, a "conversion" normally refers to the play where the team scoring the try elects not to kick for (a virtually automatic) 1 point but to try to advance the ball from the two-yard-line for a less automatic 2 points. In recent news, Commissioner Goodell seems to have noticed that no one in America watches the point-after attempt (nor the commercials before and after!) and has floated a rules change by which all scores would earn the full 7 points, but coaches could elect an even riskier play, the team betting 2 to make 2. Spıke ¬ 21:48 18-Feb-14
Commercials either side of that!! Rugby on the BBC has no commercial breaks at all and half-time is filled up with analysis and biased views. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:29, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit The first UnSignpost of the year

Thank you for writing all of the articles for it!!! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:55, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit The first UnSignpost of the year

Thank you for writing all of the articles for it!!! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:55, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

Why does ScottPat rate two copies? Spıke ¬ 20:01 18-Feb-14
Because c'est moi! (zat may ne etre pas correct mais, aussi c'est!) Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:48, February 18, 2014 (UTC)
I don't know what was wrong with my Internet but it seems that I delivered several UnSignposts to a few other people. Spike, if you want, you can get three copies! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:54, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit Lego Giraffe Cull Image

Fantastic! I prefer that to my own effort. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:14, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:45, February 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit RationalWiki

What a complete transformation! Good work! I have withdrawn my nomination. Spıke ¬ 12:34 20-Feb-14

Thank you. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:42, February 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit France and Germany during the first half of the 20th century

Do you still remember about your article Schlieffen Plan? I also reviewed it in summer, but that week you were absent from Uncyclopedia. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:10, February 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Paris, France

You said that you wanted to collaborate on an article again! I would be glad to do this, but I don't feel oike starting any new articles, because I already have Bioshock and Paris in my userspace, on which I should work. So maybe you would like to write the one on Paris together? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:59, February 23, 2014 (UTC)

Real life's got quite busy and I've already committed to a collab with Romartus. Terribly sorry. But I will help whenever possible. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:21, February 24, 2014 (UTC)
No, that's fine, I understand that! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:43, February 25, 2014 (UTC)
But you are more than welcome to make an edit or two, when you have time and will. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:43, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Thanks for your support

I am not sure it is helpful to disclose to a disaffected Uncyclopedian that we have competition (though he probably knows it) — nor wink that you have gotten away with breaking a rule that we are trying to get a newbie to follow — but I appreciate your words of support. Spıke ¬ 20:01 24-Feb-14

I'm just speaking my mind. Keep up the work and don't get deterred. Romartus is doing an excellent job of bringing back VFP to life. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:11, February 24, 2014 (UTC)

I saw that. The organization of things is being improved on several fronts. Now, if I were to remark on that stupid polka-dot shirt you wear, I would be just speaking my mind, as I was the last time I got banned for calling a very young Uncyclopedian a suck-up, when I should merely have said he was asking me for advice he was surely not going to take. That one is just speaking one's mind is no defense. Nor was anyone saying you were speaking someone else's mind! Cheers. Spıke ¬ 20:19 24-Feb-14

Fair enough. Not sure I've ever worn a polka-dot shirt in my life. Better try that out. I prefer rugby tops, casual with a touch of smart. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:29, February 24, 2014 (UTC)
Scott, you are the master of propaganda! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:45, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

Scott, regarding the bug you reported on my talk page, I just filed an UnNews and didn't see it appear, either, in the DPL-created list on the Front Page. Nor was the displayed time correct. The solution was to use .../UnNews?action=purge to rebuild the page on the Wikia server from its component files and templates. Spıke ¬ 12:55 25-Feb-14

edit UnNews:Yanukovych forced to step down

Great story idea! I've taken the hyphen out of the headline and copy-edited it. British English reads strangely for a story about the US media, but it's okay as it is Piers Morgan. (Send them baaaack!) {{Date}} gives you the date category; you don't have to do it manually. Spıke ¬ 18:50 25-Feb-14

OK thanks. I am exhausted and I had the idea in my head but cannot master the English language to explain it. Don't know where the hyphen came from. Please keep him or give him to the Canadians in return for Justin Beiber. Don't let him come back!! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:52, February 25, 2014 (UTC)
PS - Tried to stick to US English by replacing petrol with gas but that's about as far as I could go with it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:56, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

Then I'll edit further. Take two sugars in your tea. It's on the Front Page now, as Foreign tyrant forced to abdicate. Stating the compromise name in the headline sort of gives away too much. Spıke ¬ 18:59 25-Feb-14

Well I left out the Piers bit. The idea was that a reader would read the headline and presume it is about Ukraine and then read it to find out it is about Piers Morgan with reference to Ukraine. Please do edit it. It could be a lot funnier and still reads badly in some parts to me (in areas you haven't post-edited). I don't know much about Piers Morgan apart from the fact everyone over here absolutely hates him and he used to be a Conservative MP. I gather the US hates him but if you could add in some more specific jokes about him then that'd be great! Thanks a lot! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:07, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

There were words in the first paragraph (mentioned in my Change Summary) that passed judgement and hurt the resemblance to a news story. I do not indeed watch his show, but get an earful from talk radio about exactly your joke: lecturing Americans in a posh English accent. Spıke ¬ 19:14 25-Feb-14

Although I prefer your ending, the "manufacture gun-control hipocrisy" was not manufactured entirely as the real Yanukovych is accused of sniping on the Ukrainian presenters and thus draws the reader back to the correlation between the two, made even more amusing (hopefully) by the fact that Piers Morgan is deeply set against gun control. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:43, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

OK, worked most of it back into a middle paragraph. Spıke ¬ 19:48 25-Feb-14

Mention phone hacking??? Spıke ¬ 19:54 25-Feb-14

Was he involved? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:58, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews Staff

When clicking on the link on the UnNews main page that supposedly directs me to staff, I am faced with the staff of the audio team of whom all but a very few are no longer active on this website. Perhaps a bit of updating is required and the staff link should link to a page with every (active) UnNews contributor, not just audio contributors. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:11, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

I observed this same thing a very long time ago, when Zim ulator was the Chief. Damned if I can find it in the archives, either at User:SPIKE/UnNews or UnNews:Newsroom, but there was a good rebuttal. It would be problematic to maintain a list of "active" contributors, especially as there is no Chief at UnNews, though it is usually I laying out the Front Page. Who is "active" changes all the time, as you found out just after opening a Forum that the website was suddenly "active." Spıke ¬ 23:12 26-Feb-14

edit Posting to banned users

With regrets, I have removed y'all's comments from the talk page (now archived) of a banned user. To elaborate on my comments in the Change Summary, when a user is banned — as that one was when his drama-fest went beyond me to attack helpful comments from you and Romartus — it represents a decision that he should be separated from the website for a defined term.

This does not mean that the banned user gets to give the final word. Romartus has already banned two IPs used to evade the ban, with a warning that the ban may be lengthened. We are as serious about ban evasion as cyberbullying, as when a user doesn't respect this baseline rule and sit out the ban, there is no order at all. Further comments, whether yours supporting my opinion or Anton199's aiming to part ways in a civil manner, may simply encourage him to evade the ban further to continue telling his story. Spıke ¬ 22:59 26-Feb-14

edit Mecca

Your comments on VFH were valid and I have incorporated them. If you have others on the remainder of the article, let me know directly; a VFH ballot ought not be a Pee Review. Spıke ¬ 15:12 1-Mar-14

Mecca looks better. Mabye time to flesh out the intro with non-random humour. I didn't realise Boston was launch of 9/11 attacks nor the place where they burnt witches but I see how it would seem humourous to someone who did know now. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:19, March 1, 2014 (UTC)
Spike, what concerns Mecca, if you would like my comments, the only part needing work, I think, is the introduction. There is what Funnybony said (even though I do not feel that it is a great problem) and I felt that the first image was not related to the intro at all. Otherwise, I would vote for it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:38, March 2, 2014 (UTC)

The photos are holdovers from the version I started with (which used to gang them up in a Gallery). Move the second photo to the Intro, ya think? Please jump in and do what you feel is needed. Spıke ¬ 16:45 2-Mar-14

edit American Revolution

Separately, I've written two all-new sections for American Revolution. It should not feed (either by #REDIRECT or by changing the names in its text) to the other article with an offbeat niche, though it surely should continue linking to it in See Also. This article is not quite Keepable yet. I can squeeze no more humor out of the existing text, and my only strategy now is to go to the paper encyclopedia and read and twist. If you have comedy ideas, type them in and I'll massage them. Spıke ¬ 15:12 1-Mar-14

Thanks. I had always presumed that there was a heavily American biased version of events at American War of Independence and that the niches balanced each other out creating a joke about the biased nature of history and how both sides have exagerated events but alas I see that the link is only a redirect to American Revolution. I'm not sure if I have any ideas to add, bar perhaps to mention the French involvement, a point largely forgotten in history. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:19, March 1, 2014 (UTC)


I claim American Revolution is now keepable — though your new ideas are welcome. Spıke ¬ 13:46 2-Mar-14

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