User talk:ScottPat/Archive2 (May-June 2013)

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Contents:

  • Another scolding from SPIKE
  • Acquiring the ability to revert and problems associated with it.
  • Dannyboy appears for a few seconds and then disappears.
  • UnSignpost logo idea.
  • Questions and praise for people on the subjects of proofreading and UnSignpost.
  • Content Warning Campaign
  • Receiving Noob of the Month award.
  • Talk about various articles.
  • Starting a PLS competition.
  • More talk on various articles.

edit Follow the rules on Uncyclopedia

  1. Don't send things to Ban Patrol with undated signatures.
  2. When you read USERS: FILE NEW REQUESTS JUST UNDER THIS LINE (NEWEST FIRST), do what it says.
  3. Indent entries at QVFD, and again, don't ask me why we do it this way.
  4. And don't reply by commenting on my attitude. When you fail to read/follow rules, the issue is not that the other guy might have a character disorder. Spıke ¬ 10:32 4-May-13
I was trying out some new gadget (provided by wikia) where it adds it automatically. Sorry it didn't work. I won't use it again. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 16:37 24, July 2014
Ten lashes next time. And ten lashes after that just for nothing. And ten lashes for reading this. And ten lashes for continuing to read this. Are you still here? Ten lashes. Why are you still reading this? Ten more lashes. Aleister still??? Ten more lashes.
Not another ten! What's that now...about 100? What another ten for working that out? Oww! Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 16:37 24, July 2014

The new gadget is in fact not more vile Wikia sorcery; it was written by and for Uncyclopedians who sign with three tildes instead of four, because they have typed (inside My preferences) code that will plant the time after the invocation of their sig-file. You have begun signing with three tildes--but do not have such code, resulting in undated signatures--such as those above in this section, which I assume were not made with some new gadget provided by Wikia. Therefore, you are making a mistake apart from the gadget.

Now, read carefully: You have put the date-generation code in your signature file, not in My Preferences. What this means is that the time of your post is not included in the page. The time that is printed on the page is the time the page was rendered, not the time of your post. Go back, look at how my signature differs from yours (it includes a date outside the name of my signature file. Then re-do everything, follow instructions closely, and don't seek short-cuts.

However, a frequent outcome when I ask you to do several things, and you think you have a good excuse for not doing the first, is that you fail to read the list and I have to ask you again (as #3 above is a repeat). So go back and read the entire list at the start of this section.

There was a campaign in January to cherry-pick transactions from the past to show that I am an ogre (which is sometimes true) and that making me an Admin would turn this website into Ogrepedia (which is false). So now Friend Troll has another such cherry; but without it, he would be cracking wise with your user name, or who-knows-what. The root cause may be that I insist to some editors that they keep the reader in mind instead of feeling free to pull stuff out of bodily orifices (and I made a new enemy today by doing this same thing at User talk:Dudebronkey). Another implication is that joining the stampede away from this website has not led to engaging diversion and Anon still feels the need to return to stir up ill will. I do not mind the change to the title of this section; but I do not like creating talk pages to pat Anons on the back for it, except to invite them to pick a user name, and this guy I think we don't want. Spıke ¬ 00:04 5-May-13

You misunderstand me: the gadget I was refering to was the one that automatically puts the vandal on Ban Patrol hence why it went in the wrong place.
I didn't realise my signatures were undated as a date appears behind all of them on my screen that was the time of the post but I'll do what you say and check it. (I have not changed it yet so date may be wrong here.) Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 16:37 24, July 2014
PS - I prefer it when you are in a calmer mood like this as then we cooperate better. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 16:37 24, July 2014
Thanks for the help Spike, I think it works. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 16:37 24, July 2014
No it doesn't I forgot to save. Now it works: Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 16:37 24, July 2014 05:40, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
Ignore that. NOW IT ACTUALLY WORKS (I think) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:44, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
Another test. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:46, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
Spike I've done what you said (as far as I am aware) and I'm still having problems. My new sig is User:ScottPat/sig2. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:48, May 5, 2013 (UTC)

The important thing is that, when you open the edit window, you see the date after sig2}}. This is happening now. Otherwise, the page would always show me not the time of your post but the current time. Not bloody useful. Yes, I understand that you prefer it when I am calmer. And I am calmer when you read my f- Ahem. Carry on, then. Spıke ¬ 11:13 5-May-13

PS--Another creditable UnSignpost! It succeeds in both its goals: to be funny, and to make people aware of things actually happening on the site. The header should have a serial number (for the illusion of continuity) and a date, as only your signature indicates whether it is a new or an old one, and should always be delivered in a separate section so I don't have to wait to download its entire contents every time I preview this post. Also please correct "editors talk page" (apostrophe). Cheers! Spıke ¬ 11:13 5-May-13

Well thank you Spike. I'm afraid this UnSignpost was shorter than the last one but I think the idea of using the Nobody character works well as if you read Nobody as a name then the UnSignpost is correct and not funny but if you read it as "nobody" then the UnSignpost claims that admins are horrible and no one cares about UnSignpost (which of course I do not agree with. It is merely for humour.) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY

edit Generic section heading

edit Express Delivery...is not available today (just normal delivery)

Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 16:37 24, July 2014

edit Patrol etiquette

Here is a chronic complaint which several Admins have received when we forget: Cheers to you for using Undo rather than Revert in order to include a Change Summary. (If you want Revert, I cannot give it to you; but you might ask Mordillo.) However, Undo does not patrol the changes you are undoing. Please mark them as Patrolled. This is not a Rule but just a protocol that ensures that I don't have to analyze edits that you've already analyzed. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 00:42 6-May-13

Thanks. How do I mark them as patrolled? By writing patrolled in the summary box or ticking a box? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:31, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

For completeness, you did ask Mordillo and he did give you Revert. This power also lets you move articles without leaving a redirect under the old name that you must ask someone to delete; just uncheck the box under Move.
If you compare an edit to the prior revision, you will now see "[Mark as patrolled]" at the bottom of the edit summary (above the changed text). Also, you may copy from User:SPIKE/uncyclopedia.js (use your own username, and use the name of the skin you're using if not "uncyclopedia") the code that calls a JavaScript app that inserts a "patrol" button into RecentChanges and covers multiple edits by the same user. The lines you want:
if ( document.location.href.match( /special:recentchanges|special:watchlist/i ) ) {
 importScript( "User:Bizzeebeever/scripts/patrol.js" );

Spıke ¬ 13:18 7-May-13

Where do I put this code? (As in on what page.) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:13, May 7, 2013 (UTC)

Again, more precisely: It is User:ScottPat/uncyclopedia.js if you are using the Uncyclopedia skin (see your My preferences). Otherwise, I don't know. Spıke ¬ 17:48 7-May-13

Thanks. I've done that. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:51, May 7, 2013 (UTC)

I don't think the code worked as my edits appeared as not patrolled. I can not find the "patrol edit" box. I have two tick boxes: "Minor edit" and "Follow this page". I know I must be blind in your opinion but I have searched the page for it from top to bottom so any other advice would be appreciated as I am obviously an idiot. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:10, May 7, 2013 (UTC)

After the article name in Special:RecentChanges, you should see "(diff|patrol|hist)". If not, try copying the code to User:ScottPat/common.js which might apply whatever skin you are using. Spıke ¬ 18:37 7-May-13

I'll do that then. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:53, May 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit What to patrol

As always, any time we give out new powers, they come with new chores attached; and one thing that needs to be done, added to all the other things you do, is to go on actual patrol. Recently, I've been the patroller, but I've been slipping because of last weekend's all-day-every-day baseball tournament, and there are currently maybe 50 edits from the past three days (the bigger ones!) that no one has looked at. View Special:RecentChanges and click on "Hide patrolled edits" and you will see only these new edits. In happier days, the job was just to verify that it wasn't FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK vandalism and leave it to the article's steward to decide whether it is an improvement; but these days, I am using the criterion of deciding whether it is an improvement or not. If you should find yourself with free time and a creative block, you may wish to join me in this destructive (=revert-or-welcome-or-undo) side of Uncyclopedia. Spıke ¬ 13:30 7-May-13

I will do as many as I can in what time I have thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:06, May 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit About article moving

Hi Scott - it's better if you don't move articles by new contributors unless there is a very good reason to do so. Generally speaking moving articles may cause of lot of mess. It's better if you put a maintenance tag (and make sure you use the right one in a way you give the editor good feedback). The whole thing of starting an article in userspace is a recommendation, not a must. Thanks. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:19, May 7, 2013 (UTC)

I don't agree; we counsel users to create articles in their userspace, and moving an article there is a valid approach when it seems as though it will take a long time for an article to be ready for mainspace. I agree that it may pull the rug out from under a new editor and it's vital to inform the guy of exactly what happened, and why.
PS--For really bad bedside manner, yesterday RockoRocks tagged a first edit with several tags and filed it on VFD (now archived) with no personal contact with the author, and I read him the riot act. I got him to apologize on the editor's talk page, though I later told him it was an apology of the form, "I'm sorry you suck." Spıke ¬ 13:18 7-May-13
Well, Spike, that's your opinion. My opinion is that the whole thing of creating pages in user space is exactly as you said - an advice. It's not mandatory, and I think moving pages instead of allowing them some time on the main space with a WIP tag, will discourage new editors. The end results is the same. And when an admin checks the WIP expired tags, he/she can always move it to the userspace if it's worth keeping. As for the bad bedside manner, well, we just need to teach him to behave won't we? ~Jewriken.GIF 10:01, May 8, 2013 (UTC)

Do whatever you want know as this whole thing seems to be a debate between you and Spike and has nothing more to do with me. I just thought that it needed to be userspaced but next time I'll just put the construction tag on it. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:04, May 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit About the other site

I noticed your post in the forum where you said you wouldn't be joining the other site because none of your stuff is there, and you don't think that any of it would be featured even if you asked for it to be imported. In the case of your "stuff" (edits, articles, etc), it's a simple thing to import your edits over there; you would only need to ask an administrator. Also, the "other" site has set it up so that your watchlist and account preferences would be imported just by signing in. Lastly, yes, some of the articles recently featured over there may have seemed "immature" or "memish", but I believe that's because of the Stupid Flu which is going around right now. I guarantee you that the quality of features will go back up soon, and if your stuff is good enough to be featured here, it's good enough to be featured there. Quality always wins.

TL;DR: please feel free to stick with Wikia, but don't turn your nose up at the other (real) site because you think they won't welcome you with open arms.

Lastly, SPIKE/Romartus/whomever, I'm sure you've come to revert this comment, but I'm requesting that you don't, out of a show of good faith and not being a dick and all those other concepts to which you give lip-service and yet frequently ignore. Let ScottPat make his own choices, and don't attempt to brainwash him.24.8.162.37 01:38, May 8, 2013 (UTC)

He has ALREADY made his choice, and you are trying to change his mind, in order to cherry-pick one of our best continuing editors. He does have the choice, this is understood already, and if he chooses to edit this site, that is his decision, and you should respect it. He can also edit at both sites, for that matter. You are coming here and promoting a non-Wikia site, but you have not put any direct links, or I would block you myself. SPIKE may still decide to block you, but that is his decision. I thought about blocking for this comment, but since it clarifies the policies of the site which was already mentioned on the forum, I am letting it stand for now. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:48, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
Simsie is correct I have made my choice. If you read my comment properly at the forum it explains why. I have more reasons not to join than the ones you have covered here. I simply don't like the way that the other site is not parodying wikipedia and I want to put my effort into one site not two. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:33, May 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit This UnSignpost may be unsuitable for some viewers!

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:35, May 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit My contributions

ScottPat, I am writing to inform you of the fact that you have failed to recognise my position of assistant editor of the signpost. you clearly made no attempt to include my work in today's issue nor did you command respect in your clearly false description in the previous issue. While it nice of you to consider donations, I feel that as a mentally capable 16 year old, I should be treated better than that. Dannyboy1209 (talk) 15:37, May 10, 2013 (UTC) (ps, may I create a bot on this dear and wonderful wiki?)

pps, may you adopt me too? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 15:47, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

Dannyboy, you're back!! (Party time!) I have to say I am quite surprised about your comment as on the front page of UnSignpost you are clearly recognised as assistant editor. Also I have reserved this position for you and have asked people where you have been. So from my point of view I have been worrying about where you got to but hoping you would come back.

I did not add your name to the previous two UnSignposts as you made no contribution to them. That is just UnSignpost policy I'm afraid. There is a Russian writer, Anton who has been interested in writing UnSignpost articles as well and the business is going well. If you could write an UnSignpost article for next week and post it in the press room I would be delighted, thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:15, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

edit Various

  • Uncyclopedia:VFH/Cap'n Crunch‎‎: Thank you for voting for me/you. Your first edit was not logged-in. Please patrol this edit, by way of practice with the tools, though I've seen you in the patrol log and you may have already figured everything out.
  • Unsignpost:UserBiopics - 2013‎‎: My growling at you at the end is meant to caricature my usual posture. It's not serious and please resist the temptation to have the last word. Spıke ¬ 12:18 11-May-13

Sigh! too late! Spıke ¬ 12:22 11-May-13

I have put points on both of these topics on your talk page and I was almost satisfied with your contribution. I will not have the last word. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:20, May 11, 2013 (UTC)

Of course not. Now please attend to the first bullet above. Spıke ¬ 13:42 11-May-13

edit Suggestion

I have an idea. How about we make some kind of logo for the UnSignPost, you know, just like the way UnNews, HowTo, UnCommons, UnQuotable etc. have their own logos (on the top-left)? This is just a little idea. --RockoRocks TALK vandalizements contribs 20:52, May 12, 2013 (UTC)

It's a good idea. Do you have time to organise it and get it done? Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:19, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

edit Proofreading service

Just needed some sort of break from revision, so did one of those articles you asked for. I won't be too active for a while yet; exams are really setting in. Do you mind if I borrow your excellent Radio 4 template? I won't damage it, promise. Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 22:32, May 12, 2013 (UTC)

I have to say I stole the Radio 4 template off User:RabbiTechno so you can use it of course. Thanks for the proofread. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:20, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
Does the whole proofreading service depend on only one person? I think we should do something about it, because even if right now Reverend is doing a great job, it is impossible for him to review all the articles that need it. Isn't it impossible to make something like Pee Reviews out of the service so that everyone can review articles and it would be a way simpler? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:45, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
I understand what you are saying and I think this issue should be raised with Spike. There is a proofreading service that you can join but Reverend P. Pennyfeather is the only active current member. I am too bad with my grammar and spelling to be able to proofread to his standard. Also I don't enjoy reading unless I find the article funny. I couldn't stand proofreading dull or not my type of humour articles. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:53, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
Well, my grammar is not that good (how wondering). The main problem of Uncyclopedia is the absence of active users so I think that the only thing we can do about it is to leave messages (for example on UnSignpost) to users telling them about the problems. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:57, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

Brilliant Anton! You have thought of a new article for UnSignpost: advertising the Proofreading Service> Well finders, keepers. I'll let you write that if you want. Thanks. Also it's "how surprising" not "how wondering." Not sure whether that was part of your grammar joke but I just thought I'd let you know. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:00, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

Raise an issue with me? Given that the Reverend is doing a fine job, I wouldn't mess with it, recruit others for it, define jobs that require daily visits, or otherwise formalize it. But I second the motion that UnSignpost (in a humorous way) emphasize that there are ways to help for people who can't write an article that goes straight from first draft to main page. New user Graphium, for example, seems reluctant to write humor but has been helpful in his brief visits at identifying edits that aren't improvements, reporting vandals, and policing the site. I occasionally proof you guys, though inserting turns-of-phrase rather than correcting apostrophes. As we acquire users, let the Reverend ask for helpers, who will some day compete for prizes as Pee Reviewers and article narrators used to do. Spıke ¬ 16:52 13-May-13

Spike I had no intention of medelling in the Vicar's affairs and as I stated I think he's doing a damn fine job on his own. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:37, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

It's meddling, to be strictly accurate! I noticed I've received two UnSignposts this month. Is it a weekly or monthly thing? Or just infrequently? Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 22:04, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

If you give me an article and I have another along with some will I might publish one. They're meant to be weekly but I just published a special to cover the content warning forum and Anton's article. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:13, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

edit Content warning

I just now read the May 10th UnSignpost on Funnybony's page when I left him a note to check out the content warning discussion. An interesting article you wrote there! I wonder if Sannse is ever going to answer Spike??? Al 13:47 17-5-'13

If you wish to receive some more of this "interesting" rubbish just ask. As to Spike's reply simply read your talk page. It seems like no luck with getting the warning removed but we can still get it changed. I don't really see Spike's side of the argument perhaps we should ask him why it should be kept. Also I was looking at the other site and I noticed you've got a competition running at the moment. I think we should do that over here but I don't know anything about how it's run. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:12, May 17, 2013 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost has arrived...Quick hide!

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:20, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

edit Headers in templates

Hey. It's a better practice to use one of the header templates (like {{H3}}) within other templates - especially if those templates are to be used within things like user talk pages. Headers have a tendency to do odd things within wikimedia - such as adding [edit] tags where they aren't wanted. I've just tweaked the last couple of USPs to follow that guideline.

You're doing a good job with those USPs as well - keep it up.                               Puppy's talk page06:16 18 May 2013

Thanks for that. I appreciate the help. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:48, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

edit Content warning

I confirmed that Funnybony voted for the content warning, which is nice, because he was the one who rallied everyone to get rid of the real nice one that Puppy designed, with lighning and clouds and everything. The clouds at first moved, but they broke the site somehow. So having Funnybony liking the warning makes me think it may be close to happening (If Spike likes it even a little, although we may not need it if Wikia apologizes and removes the nonsense altogether). Maybe it's about time to ask Puppy if he could put the warning together, with the picture linked to in the voting as background, the lettering running somehow across the page, with the "enter" button layed perfectly on the front lawn of the pic. Puppy is a master of creating interesting things out of code, and is one of the reasons I hung around when I first came to the site, although I was committed to it early. I should say he made and makes my stay here that much more enjoyable, and was one of the first ones who did that. He could masterpiece the warning (he's done it once, he could do it again, and with this new warning, if it is put up, we have come back a long way to being an encyclopedia which may trick people from time to time - which, as you know and have nicely expressed, is the original and underlying joke. Al 19:25 18-5-'13

I agree Al. Please ask Puppy. I asked Spike to clarify his views and he replied by telling me that he had made them obvious. Thanks for getting Funnybony to vote. Have you seen my new forum on a comprtition? Please look. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:34, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
If you keep your good work up for a few more months you may win that Noob of the Moment badge. As you can see it's a hard one to get, and you have to do a little more than you've done to be seriously considered for it. So keep doing what you've doing (and maybe pick it up a little?) and someday you too may be the proud owner of the "Noob of the Moment" crown. You can only dream. Al 12:13 19-5-'13
Thanks Al for the support. If the message is refering to my lack of writing article performance lately I'm afraid that is due to me having important exams this month so I'm afraid article writing has slowed but I did finish HMS Ocean today so I still am writing. However have you seen my forum called Competition Time. Please take a look. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:26, May 19, 2013 (UTC)
Ah, maybe youse are just trying to squeeze a vote out of me. I will not vote. I don't care what the Content Warning says (Romartus doesn't seem to care either), except that the previous animation was problematic for some users. My opinion is still that Aleister's structure of the vote is too fuzzy to be regarded as a decision. This is surpassed by the fact that there is exactly no opposition, although various people are voting on various text.
One problem remains: Wikia has required us to have a Content Warning--rightly or wrongly, in Wikia's best interest or not. That is not for the Creative Department to decide. I would not stand in the way of overwhelming user opinion, but I will not let us sneak in a replacement Content Warning (especially with a couple voters who simply want to serve Wikia a crap sandwich) that does not meet Wikia's needs without Wikia's participation. In particular, Sannse would need to agree that NSFW is the only issue; again, the original issue was that the Suits worried that someone would mistake Uncyclopedia for the truth and it would be Wikia's fault. I think that's crazy, but then again, I want to run the charcoal grill in the living room. On both things, I defer to the landlord. Spıke ¬ 13:09 19-May-13
We don't care who you vote for or even if you abstain. We do care that the admins on the site will help in whatever means they can to allow us to put forward proposals officially and have a vote over them. You say that the structure of the vote is too fuzzy to be a decision. Could you please tell us how we can make it an official decision and make it less funny, thanks.
There is a quote I often refer to in these situations. (Can't remember where it came from. Some philosopher pehaps). "I may not agree with what you say, but I shall defend to my death your right to say it." I hope that the admins on this site will use this pillar of liberty, freedom and democracy (god I sound American) to help us with our campaign. Thank you. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:18, May 19, 2013 (UTC)

edit Award

I believe this is yours, sir:

Noobaward Noob of the Moment March-April 2013

Spıke ¬ 23:37 21-May-13

Thanks Spike. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:56, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

edit Talk

Then we can move our discussion here. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:36, May 22, 2013 (UTC) (responding to the previous comment by Scott on Anton's talk page)

Thanks Anton however nothing more to say on that topic. I was only joking I don't want useless rubbish filling up my talk page. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:02, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

Me neither. That's why I was willing to do it. I have almost finished the Russian campaign part. Now I just have to talk about Russian army coming to Paris. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:04, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

I love the pictures. I haven't read your latest edit but I will do. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:07, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

Ok. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:08, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

edit Ukraine (this is the first section on your talk page with this title)

Sir Anton respectfully demands Sir Scott's permission to nominate the article on Ukraine. However, if Sir Scott desires to do it himself, Sir Anton will not argue and will be glad to let him fulfill his wish. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:31, May 23, 2013 (UTC)

Don't be too hasty. The Reverend has only spellchecked half of it. Wait until it is fully spellchecked and then do the honours, Anton! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:20, May 23, 2013 (UTC)

edit Halfterm!!!

ScottPat has finally reached the holidays. What does this mean? More articles. In the next week I promise to you to write at least one UnSignpost and two (maybe three) articles. Hopefully this will make up for the complaints received during my first period of exams. (However halfterm will be followed by more exams but less stressful ones.) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:08, May 24, 2013 (UTC)

edit Boxes

Your edit is an able collection of puns and absurdities but doesn't bowl me over. The Intro prepares me for an essay that is whimsical and not quite funny. Ugh, an initial quotation, and an apocryphal one, attributed to "a professional boxer." (Why would a real encyclopedia not know which one? Toothless "Professional boxer Leon Spinks" is one example who would never have uttered those words, though in that case the British spelling is odd.) "Incase" in the intro tells me the Reverend Pennyfeather has not yet visited. Also, I don't know if it's a Yankee thing, but I want more commas: Before "otherwise," after "For example." It would be less English but more playful if there were a full stop before "otherwise."

More minor points:

  • 1.1: "Jack in the Box" is also an on-the-cheap McDonald's clone that in the '90s had a notorious record concerning coliform bacteria and still a spotty reputation in America outside the inner cities. My mind raced there but yours didn't. (That's not a problem, just a possible additional storyline.)
  • 1.2: Your concluding joke is almost visual humor; it might better be done with an illustration.
  • 1.3: The final joke departs from the whimsy of the section and asks the reader to believe the narrator doesn't know what matches are; that was an abrupt transition.
  • 1.4: Commas, proofreading, one subjunctive verb.
  • 2: "Denotes" is the wrong word and "thereom" isn't a word at all. Sound it out. Bickering Scientists has to be done well, as it is usually the province of schoolboys who don't know a thing about science (when they aren't writing that "the President made a law" or "the Court made a law"). This section on identical appearance (my mind insists that it applies only to cubic boxes) calls for the theft of Anton's photo with a die with six boxcars.

Eminently worthy of mainspace; possibly a feature with clean-up and slightly tighter wording for more laughs per acre. Spıke ¬ 12:18 27-May-13

Thanks for that Spike. You've been a great help. Just a few points:
  • I meant to write "theorem" not "thereom." Sorry. I'll proofread it myself and then send it to the Reverend if I think it needs it.
  • The intro is meant to state the bleeding obvious about a really dull concept in scientific terms as though someone really cared and bothered to explain what a box was in scientific terms.
Thanks.Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:38, May 27, 2013 (UTC)

edit Erwin Rommel

Hey I just finished the Article let me know what you think so I can try to improve it. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Grammmamslam (talk • contribs)

Great I will do. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:28, May 27, 2013 (UTC)

I know it has been a long long long long time since you reviewed the Erwin Rommel article which I apperciate and Since that time I have been atempting to improve upon the article using your Pee Reveiw but It is probably going to take me awhile until I can think of some really clever jokes however I have been able to make minor improvements thanks to your help. Anyway just wanted to say thanks for your imput. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Grammmamslam (talk • contribs)

That's ok. Keep going. Rommel was a great man and he deserves a place on Uncyclopedia. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:30, June 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Review

Could you review my article about League of Legends? UN:PEE

(Saddex (talk) 22:30, May 28, 2013 (UTC))

I shall however I have received many requests recently and Pee Review is not run by me it is for everyone to review articles so please review someone elses in return. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:23, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost hath cometh

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:24, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit Soyuz Rocket

I reviewed that article for you. (Saddex (talk) 13:37, May 29, 2013 (UTC))

edit Patrol flag

Thanks for marking many edits patrolled, including undo-with-comments when warranted.

Separately, Anton figured out how to submit a redirect to QVFD. Find your own undeleted one in the archive and resubmit it in this form and I'll delete it. Spıke ¬ 13:46 29-May-13

Will do however I have always known how to do redirects, so why are you telling me that Anton just found out? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:49, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit Nottingham

Would you please patrol or revert Anon's edit of yesterday? I cannot tell whether there is something to it or whether it is just picking random words and replacing them with other random words (which Anon is normally not entitled to do). Spıke ¬ 21:24 29-May-13

Those bloody Nottingham-ites. I wouldn't get involved with them if I were you, nasty people. Scott, I have added a biography to the list for the Signpost and couldn't be arsed to have a new section heading. Sorry. Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 22:45, May 29, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks Reverend. I will Spike. Seeing as Robin Hood came from Nottingham and Robin Hood is a Saxon hero fighting against the oppressive foreign Norman sheriffs I see nothing wrong with Nottinghamshire. I have never been there but I'm sure it is a nice place. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:08, May 30, 2013 (UTC)

edit Clapping with one hand

Hi! This new article isn't done yet, and I've asked the author at his talk page about its odd use of capitals. I thought it was premature to be creating redirects to point to it. Spıke ¬ 12:22 31-May-13

Ok, fair enough. The reason why I made the redirects was that I didn't think people were likely to type in his title but more likely to type in the two I wrote. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:43, May 31, 2013 (UTC)

Also, please look at RecentChanges before you roll out the welcome mat! ShattuckRamsdell645 was not a legitimate new user but the work of our usual guy who spams the same text to the same name in both mainspace and userspace. (I don't know what these guys want, unless it is continual measurement of how long it takes us to delete it; they are certainly not earning money from an advertiser.) Romartus and Simsie seem to have a report of new registers users with null user pages that they work from, but I don't know what it is. Spıke ¬ 13:08 31-May-13

Ah sorry, didn't realise. Thanks for that. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:21, May 31, 2013 (UTC)

edit 100.0.102.110

I agreed with you on the revert war and gave Anon 2 weeks off, but that was an uncharacteristically pessimistic/defeatist Change History for the little bastard.

On the other hand, peppy anonymous remarks on new talk pages that weren't necessary in the first place, about how this "blog" has helped me and I'll be sure to recommend it, are not authentic but spam. As before, I don't know what the point is, but if it is attention-seeking, then your response might actually have been a reward; that's why I deleted a page on which you had replied. Spıke ¬ 13:01 3-Jun-13

I'm sorry I prefer to think that they are serious but slightly incompetent and mistook this for a blog. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:26, June 3, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost/20130603‎

Does this get funny soon? So far, the only goal seems to be (1) to get Uncyclopedians to read articles of interest to you, (2) to get Uncyclopedians to vote on forums where you have a dog in the fight, and possibly (3) to get Romartus to feature current work over Golden Oldies. Please amuse and inform the reader (and in my opinion, nothing newsworthy happened here, again this week), not get people to do things. As I tell my local newspaper at least once a month, "Your latest issue compels me to cancel my subscription. No, wait, I don't have one." Spıke ¬ 20:48 3-Jun-13

Ok then I'll put it off until next week. I am very busy at the moment so I was trying to think of something quickly but quality should come over quantity. Perhaps it should be bi-weekly. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:22, June 4, 2013 (UTC)
I appreciate you running the UnSignpost ScottPat but it should look at other contributors and what they are doing. I don't think enough is going for it to be weekly but when PLS or other competitions come round, the frequency can be increased. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:44, June 6, 2013 (UTC)
Yep, I haven't been on for a while because of exams. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:47, June 6, 2013 (UTC)


I am very thankful for your review of my Virtual Boy article. Thankyou! :D --Reallybloodymental (talk) 02:04, June 7, 2013 (UTC)

That's ok, my pleasure. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:28, June 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Poolit(zer)

Hello, and good luck with your exams. You'll need it (hahahahahahahahha). I see the dung contest starts soon, thanks for getting that up and running again. I think I only participated once (the Happy Monkey contest has been my contest drug of choice here) but will do so this time to support you and the site in your times of need (hahahahahahahahha). Maybe I'll join the noob category. In any case, I don't look forward to it, as I have several projects in motion now, but like the good book says "He who is without sin cast the first stone" and so I shall. I hope you join in the writing, one of the bad things about running a contest is that the people organizing it sometimes think they can't join in. I hope some people from our neighboring village enter. Thanks for your efforts, and someday, I swear, you will win that Noob of the Month award. Aleister 12:48 7-6-'13

For goodness sake Al, you know I've won it already! Anyway thanks. Your la creme de la creme round here so it's going to be tough. I will be writing but Romartus is running it now as he is more experienced. I will start my article in 4 days time!. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:17, June 7, 2013 (UTC)
I looked up and down and sideways on your user page and couldn't find an explanation for the origin of your name, and I'll try again when I post this note. Romartus running the contest is a nice thing, but you initiated it, so thanks for doing that! Although I have a name in mind for the contest, my thing for this type of writing is not to start thinking about it until the contest begins. So having a name days ahead of the damn thing, and not going to think about it, frees up lots of energy for other stuff and projects - so again, thanks for setting the contest in motion. I heard rumors that you were up for some kind of award, so thanks for confirming that. When the Berlin Wall was accidently knocked down (true!) the fate of the free world of satirists was in the balance. Oh fuck, tell you what, I just thought of this right now. Would you like to do a collab for the collab section of the contest? It would be an honor to play on an article with you, although we'd have different styles. I'd just let you do whatever you wanted on the page, and then I'd come in and do whatever I wanted, and then you again, etc. etc. and we can go on like that until the contest ends. If you'd like to do that please pick the topic, but don't tell me until it starts. I can't promise lots of work every day, or even some, because before it begins I have no idea what will happen. Damn contests. And feel totally free to say no, totally understandable. Oh, you did win the noob thing? That's something I can't understand why, you surely haven't earned it yet, but YAY!, congrats! Someday, maybe in a year of so, you may get a crack at a writer of the month nomination from someone as long as you write a couple of articles sometime (how long have you been here? You've only written one article? Every lad in Scotland has written at least that in the same time period). Aye. Aleister 00:05 8-6-'13
Thanks for the collab offer. I'd love to do one with you and feel honoured (honored for the Falkland Islands) that you asked me. Unfortunately I had already asked Anton to collaborate! However we have collaborated twice before so I am tempted to politely ask him if he wouldn't mind if I collaborated with you. As for a name, I am struggling to think of a topic for the single article never mind the collab. The only thing I thought of was the "Hoover Dam" which is an impressive structure somewhere in the Wild West that I have stood on and felt proud to stand on such a feat of engineering. Also we could have a sub-topic in that article named the "Hoover Damn!" which is what President Truman said when he heard about J. Edgar Hoover going to far in locking up the "Commies." And of course we could play around with the other meaning of hoover, vacuum cleaner. I'm afraid the contest is all through the rest of my exams although after next week I should be able to do lots. The meaning of my name has replaced the title by I see you have guessed it from the last comment, I mean nothing special because they're two adjectives that describe me but just thought I'd clarify! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:35, June 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit Ukraine

I added a picture and moved on down the page. Before Ukraine became independent, it was always referred to in the UK as 'The Ukraine' as if it was a geographical feature (like 'The Urals'). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:53, June 9, 2013 (UTC)

Sorry..followed the wrong link. I will paste the message on Anton's page. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 20:11, June 9, 2013 (UTC)
I do not think you followed the wrong link, this seems to apply to me. A bit confused! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:59, June 10, 2013 (UTC)

edit PLEASE scream at me for no reason

i'm a naughty girl yes i am oh yes

Curds Reeks (talk) 21:52, June 9, 2013 (UTC)

I would highly advise against that kind of behavior, it could get you banned if you persist. --The Slayer of Zaramoth DungeonSiegeAddict510 22:40, June 9, 2013 (UTC)
She did not persist but I banned her anyway, based on drama on my talk page from my suggestion that she not clean up closed Forums (sometimes six years old). But as Cat says, I ban everyone, don't I, and it's scary. Thanks for this afternoon's patrol, DSA (even if it isn't afternoon where you are); I was at a baseball stadium and had decided I wasn't there to take advantage of their faster WiFi to admin Uncyclopedia but to renew acquaintances. Spıke ¬ 01:13 10-Jun-13
Ah, you're welcome. Glad to see we can finally put some of our differences aside. To be honest, I hate holding grudges, and being involved in fights, it upsets me greatly. So, here's to trying to set our differences aside for the good of the community! --The Slayer of Zaramoth DungeonSiegeAddict510 01:20, June 10, 2013 (UTC)
You have proven you can clean up articles and detect vandalism on the site--today projecting a minimum of drama in your commentary. (Writing funny articles is also esteemed, but Pennyfeather doesn't, for example, and we appreciate how he contributes.) You have also proven you can misbehave in transparent efforts to attract attention, and waste tons of time of Simsie and other editors. My behavior is not a grudge but directly based on your behavior. You would be amazed at the number of times that A and B seem to have visceral disagreements but A comes to B and says, "Help me write a good UnNews" and all is forgotten. My goal is not to punish you but to get articles written. I will ban again if it serves that goal. Spıke ¬ 01:34 10-Jun-13

edit Admins

When will there be more voting for admins at uncyclopedia? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 16:00, June 11, 2013 (UTC)

Dannyboy you're back! Please tell us why you keep disappearing. Anyway no there is not going to be a vote soon as far as I am aware. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:02, June 11, 2013 (UTC)

edit Wikipedia Feature Spoof 2

So on 24th June wikipedia are featuring an article with this name: Hiram Wesley Evans. He is a KKK leader who used to be a dentist so a lot of fun to play around with an article on him. I'll attempt a go at writing it soon. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:59, June 12, 2013 (UTC)

edit Summer's here! And so is the post

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:06, June 14, 2013 (UTC)

edit Skywalker's Law

Perhaps let the author respond to my {{ICU}} and see if he has something generally notable to write, rather than rewrite this article in its entirety before hearing from him? Spıke ¬ 13:15 15-Jun-13

Ok. Sorry I just jumped in offering what I perceived to be a more interesting and scientific sounding theme but if he wants to come back to his then that is fine! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:17, June 15, 2013 (UTC)

Then add it as a new section (maybe even with a note to the author, or talk to him directly) rather than deleting what he had. If he abandons it for a week, ICU will govern and you will have a fresh new page to work on. Spıke ¬ 14:30 15-Jun-13

I think I'll wait for a week to be honest, I am sorry for what I did, I just saw that there was an ICU on the article had a look and an idea came to mind so I put it down. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:38, June 15, 2013 (UTC)

edit Laraine McMahon-Nelson

I am not sure, either, that you are authorized to slap ICU on an article; probably yes. It is exactly what I would have done with it, except that, after a search of Wikipedia, the right letters for this one were QVFD (vanity/notability). See my note on User talk:Jarjarkim.

On my talk page, I can defend myself, and this gadfly did not deserve a reply. It is of course destined for my flame archive alongside his last one. It is amazing to read someone with a corkscrew so far up his a(r)ss about this website in high dudgeon over the implication that he might occasionally act on those beliefs. Spıke ¬ 10:36 17-Jun-13

Ok, sorry for the comment I just don't see how he has any right to tell you how to run the place (whether you run it badly or well) when he doesn't do anything for the site. Thanks for the ICU clarification. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:40, June 17, 2013 (UTC)
Sorry for replying again but if any sense can be taught to nim it might help, please revert it if you wish. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:11, June 17, 2013 (UTC)

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