User talk:ScottPat/Archive1 (Welcome March-May 2013)

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This is my first talk archive. Contents:

  • Meeting SPIKE and getting advice on how to write a proper humour artcile.
  • Discussions on my Lord Sutch article as to whether it should be Screaming Lord Sutch or just Lord Sutch.
  • Meeting Aleister and a few others. Working out how to get an article featured and the main bits of the site.
  • Making User page and signature.
  • A few arguments with Spike.
  • Setting up UnSignpost.
  • More arguments with Spike.
  • Reviews from people.
  • Meeting another noob and collaborating to write the Ukraine article.
  • EU article conversations.
  • Meeting old member who hadn't visited the site in a long time.

edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, ScottPat, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:ScottPat/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 12:51 1-Apr-13

edit BP oil spill

Hello, welcome, and thank you for your contribution! This needs serious mark-up to make it look like an Uncyclopedia article. You can look at the coding of other articles and imitate it, or read some of the pages set out above. In particular, no excess capitals at all in section headings (or even in the page name); and the categories and links have to exist on the website. Happy editing! Spıke Ѧ 12:51 1-Apr-13

PS--See UnNews:2010 Oil Spill for the stuff we wrote at the time. Spıke Ѧ 12:53 1-Apr-13

PPS--Yikes! Get help with grammar and spelling! For starters, it's means "it is"--its means belonging to it. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 13:22 1-Apr-13

And another thing: Nonsense numbers ("2,000,456,056 pelicans") spoil the impression that this is an encyclopedia, and they aren't funny by themselves. Nothing is funny by itself--not even George Bush or Oscar Wilde. You have to work at it. There are more useful tips in How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, our guide to writing comedy. Spıke Ѧ 13:25 1-Apr-13

Your edits to Matt Smith did not survive for this same reason. Spıke Ѧ 13:41 1-Apr-13

I have renamed this article, as shown above, to eliminate the excess capital letters. I'll do the same for your other articles when you seem not to be editing them.

Several of your articles strike me as competent fiction writing but not as intensely funny. For example, geopolitics and conspiracies will strike different readers differently depending on what they bring to the article. There might not be enough unambiguous comedy that can be enjoyed by all readers. By the way, links, notably USSA, don't have to be links after the first use.

Please get to know the Preview button. It will show you how your edits will look and let you continue. Press Save to write to the encyclopedia only at a major stopping point. This will reduce the number of "edits" and simplify review. Thanks! Spıke Ѧ 11:36 2-Apr-13

edit Screaming Lord Sutch

Is anyone actually going to search for a page with this name? Or is this a joke where you have to know, and type, the punch line to gain access to the joke?

By the way, do you believe in replying to messages? Spıke Ѧ 12:57 2-Apr-13

Sorry. Screaming Lord Sutch is quite a famous politician (serious, honest (look him up on wiki)). I'm going to do a serious page on someone silly type thing but it's still in construction. The preceding unsigned comment was added by ScottPat (talk • contribs)

Yes, I know he's real; I've read Viz. I only mean, who is going to type it with the word "screaming" in the page name? (See original Welcome message about formatting posts to talk pages.) Spıke Ѧ 14:19 2-Apr-13

Someone might type screaming. It is Uncyclopedia after all. I mean you wouldn't thing people would accidently type "uncyclopedia" into a search bar in google and come across this amazing parody site by accident would you? But I did and so did quite a lot of people by the looks of things. ScottPat (talk) 14:29, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

Someone might type anything! but how about us naming your article Lord Sutch to increase the chances of it?! Here I go. Regarding Googling "uncyclopedia," thanks to our crack Marketing Department, that is indeed the most common way of finding the site. Spıke Ѧ 14:35 2-Apr-13

Sorry but due to my incompetence at using this site I do not seem to be able to change the title of the article. Could you either tell me how to or change it to "Lord Sutch", please. Thanks ScottPat (talk) 14:29, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

I have done so, so quit bleepin' working on the other one! I think you have to have your user name for 72 or 96 hours before you will begin seeing the Move tab next to Unwatch. Spıke Ѧ 14:50 2-Apr-13

edit Other Articles

Thanks. By the way, got any suggestions on how I can improve my other articles feel free to tell me. ScottPat (talk) 2, Aprill 2013 14:56(UTC)

I looked at your changes to the Panzer article last night (Infobox and new section) and got the impression the changes were a large amount of numbers for a small amount of laughs. When on Uncyclopedia, always be sure you are writing to amuse and not just to teach! A good example of this, symbolic logic made accessible to the unwashed masses, is the recent Modus ponens. We also have a doc on board writing phony "scientific papers" and the usual number of English boys writing about their little villages; those contributions aren't working as well. Hundreds of other tips for comedy writing are in our Guide, gently entitled How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid. Spıke Ѧ 15:15 2-Apr-13

I have looked at the how to write an article, thanks. On the note of phony scientific papers: I had got one lined up for uncyclopedia. Do you reckon I should write it up as an article or do you think the phony scientific papers aren't funny? ScottPat (talk) 2, Aprill 2013 16:12 (UTC)

I have no hard-and-fast rules (and it wouldn't matter if I did). Simply, if you are going to write humor that requires niche knowledge, go halfway toward including the reader who is not in-the-know (without giving him a course in the subject) and have other types of humor, such as absurdity, obvious puns, funny photos with funny captions, and word games to amuse the reader even if he can't figure out what you're talking about. Use {{Wikipedia}} if there is a Wikipedia article by which the reader can brush up on it. Spıke Ѧ 16:31 2-Apr-13

Thanks. I think I've almost finished the Lord Sutch article. Just a few links, some pictures and the wiki-style table to go. ScottPat (talk) 2, Aprill 2013 16:43 (UTC)

I was looking at your user page article and I realised that you were oringinally a user before you became an admin. I was just curious to know how you become an admin on uncyclopedia. I guess it's just through posting many articles that are good and recommended or something. By the way check out the finished Lord Sutch article and my new Capitalism: In Grammar article. Tell me what you think of them. Thanks. ScottPat (talk) 3, April 2013 010:25 (UTC)

I'm going to do another article to go with the Capitalist one entitled Commanism: In Gramamr. ScottPat (talk) 3, April 2013 10:29 (UTC)

edit Hello

I'm patrolling recent changes and reading your edits, very good work. You are obviously a gentleman and a scholar - neither of which are welcome here. You will make the rest of us look bad. So it's good to meet you. I saw your question above - Spike became an admin by hard work, the luck of the draw (he killed several other candidates by gunfire, and was faster than they were), and by never pissing anyone off. Aleister 11:19 3-4-'13

Sorry, bit confused. Are you an admin as well or can anyone talk on this page? Thanks for your compliment by the way. ScottPat(talk) 03 April 2013 11:38 (UTC)

edit Featured Article

Does anyone know how I can get one of my articles to be featured? ScottPat(talk) 3rd April 2013 11:57 (UTC)

Since you wrote that, you seem to have figured it out and nominated one of your articles. Spıke Ѧ 22:25 3-Apr-13

edit UnPoetia:I Am American And I'm Really Pissed Off‎

If your account is old enough for the Move button to be visible, could you perhaps delete the parenthesized bit so the page title doesn't explain what the joke is? Spıke Ѧ 22:25 3-Apr-13

Never mind; I did it; it is now at the address shown above.

Would you PLEASE do what I asked you to do regarding use of the Preview button at the end of Section 2 above? You are generating a huge number of changes in Special:RecentChanges. Thanks. Spıke Ѧ 00:09 4-Apr-13

Sorry, I'll try to. ScottPat (talk) 06:28, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

edit User Page

I now have a user page!! Not much on it yet but check out all the articles I've written. Thanks. ScottPat (talk) 06:58, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

edit Lord Sutch

Thanks for the page on this famous British musician/political character. I met him many years ago during my course of work. Liked talking how every British rock musician of note (Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple etc) would have been nothing if he hadn't met them and showed them a career path. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:07, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

That's ok. Thanks for reading it. I was so suprised that no one had done Lord Sutch yet. ScottPat (talk) 07:33, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

Re your note above to me, anyone can talk on talk pages. Some of the best things happen here on talk pages (a good way to see what's happenin in the house is to click on "Recent changes" on the left toolbar, four items down from the top. That shows you real-time activity and real-time vandalism). Nice work, by the way. Aleister 13:09 4-4-'13

Thanks, if you want you can look at some other of my articles. They're all on my user page. ScottPat (talk) 13:12, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

edit Pee Review and Votes For Highlight

Does anyone actually use these pages? I've put up lots of articles that need reviewing and self-nominated an article for VFH and no one has reviewed anything or voted any way in the last three days they've been up. Meanwhile I've voted and done quite a few reviews. The articles that need reviewing only go back to November 2012 now. ScottPat (talk) 18:32, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for doing reviews, yes we do look at VFH periodically, but sometimes it takes some time. Pee Review had been inactive for awhile, we are trying to get it going again. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 18:36, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

I am writing reviews right this minute. Please help by contributing aswell (especially mine). Also put add some votes on VFH ScottPat (talk) 18:43, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

edit "Too many people making up random film articles"

Apparently a certain professor actually assigned his class either to do an essay or make an Uncyclopedia page on a film - this was a film review course. So I thought you should know the background here behind some of the recent film articles. However, we do have a page specifically for pages requested by users: UN:REQ - with a nifty little userpage template that goes with it for creating one of these articles. If we get too MANY articles about films, we may have to start a namespace: UnFilm for instance. Just thought you should know. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:09, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks. UnFilms is a great idea. I've been checking out a few admins' user psges and they have quite a lot of awards and prizes. Are these made up or can you actual be awarded with these? ScottPat (talk) 20:16, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia Ranks

I have noticed there are ranks that you can move through in Uncyclopedia. Does anyone know what you need to do to get an admin (higher rank) to promote you. The preceding unsigned comment was added by ScottPat (talk • contribs)

To go through the ranks, just keep on keeping on. The more you write and edit, the more tools you get. If you want to be an admin, however, I'd suggest that will require
a) a long time .
b) a lot of editing (SPIKE, for example, edited as much as he does now before he was an admin, if you get in the habit of looking at 'Recent Changes' on the left, you will see that there are a fair few editing freaks and ninjas).
c) a demonstration that you know some coding and stuff.
d) enough people to have noticed your work to vote for you in an election.
e) the need for an election.
A last thing - this is YOUR talk page, the only people will see it are those who contributed to it recently (and so have it on their watchlist - see 'My Watchlist' above for the pages you have done stuff to) or one of the aforementioned ninjas and freaks who see movement in Recent Changes and dive in. The site's 'forum' is under 'Village Dump' on the left, but for a quick answer, go to 'Recent Changes', see if any friendly faces are active, and write on THEIR talk page. And always remember to sign your name! Leverage (talk) 10:08, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for that. I've been on this for six days and I've already written about ten articles, done five reviews but I haven't done editing to other people's articles. ScottPat (talk) 10:51, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Yes; Special:RecentChanges shows you edits to every page, including talk pages not on your watchlist. (It also makes you start grinding your teeth.) I had to wait both three years and until everyone else left. Just do your thing and don't sweat it; if you need something done that only an Admin can do (mostly involving deletions), just ask (at Ban Patrol or Quick Deletion; we will either do it for you or you will learn why not. Spıke Ѧ 12:39 5-Apr-13

Thanks. I've stopped writing articles for the day and I am just clearing out the pee reviews. Please encourage others to review. ScottPat (talk) 12:42, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

I'm lousy at pee reviews, and have only done one or two. I did the same thing when I got here, wrote about seven pages in a week or so. That was waaayyyyyy back in October of 2009, and I'm still polishing those pages! (Seriously. I think Phil Ochs was my first and I keep plugging away at it). Non-admin and glad of it Aleister 13:10 5-4-'13
I have given you the only rank promotion I have the power to: I have turned on your Autopatrolled flag, so that every frickin' edit you make will not show up in Special:RecentChanges with an exclamation point on it begging for special scrutiny by our overnighters. In other words, I hereby declare that you are Probably Not A Vandal. Spıke Ѧ 13:13 5-Apr-13

Thanks. Don't worry I'm no vandal. ScottPat (talk) 13:15, April 5, 2013 (UTC) PS - Every single message you've put on my talk page complains about my constant editing. Sorry. ScottPat (talk) 13:16, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

In fact, I would rather have you constantly editing than never editing! I did complain repeatedly about lots of little edits so as to get you to use the Preview button, but it seemed I had to repeat. On my message above that RecentChanges "shows you edits"--read: "shows you the edits"--that is, everyone's, not just yours. And "Probably Not A Vandal" was a joke--the excess capital letters was the hint. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 18:02 5-Apr-13

I knew it was a joke. If I didn't I wouldn't be any good at uncyclopedia (which I'm not but hey!). Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:11, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

edit Change of Signature

My new signature now looks like this:

Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk)

Looks fine. Best of all, any changes to sig will affect not only future signatures but past signatures that used sig. But unless your sig outputs code for the date and time, as mine does, you will still need 4 tildes. Spıke Ѧ 18:02 5-Apr-13

I just used my sig on another user talk page and date and time came out fine. However "(talk)" did not appear. Do you know how I can make "(talk)" appear and if so could you give me the code for it. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:10, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

There is nothing about {{Proper name}} that would make "(talk)" appear. I've taken the liberty of editing your sig file to do it as a piped link; revert me, of course, if you don't like it. Spıke Ѧ 18:59 5-Apr-13
PS--It won't come out as a blue link when used here on your talk page, because you can't link to the page you're already on. Spıke Ѧ 19:00 5-Apr-13

Testing: Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:00, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Its fine. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:01, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

edit List of Military Disasters

Your renaming of this article takes it in exactly the wrong direction. I mentioned above (Section 2) about not having excess capitals in page titles and section headings. Please rename it back to List of military disasters. Your other creations should follow suit.

Then, just for your own instruction, get on UN:QVFD and add {{Redirect|List of Military Disasters}} to ask an Admin to delete the redirect that will be left. Spıke Ѧ 19:43 5-Apr-13

I am not criticizing the existence of this article, only the capitalization. If you had changed the capitalization as I requested, it would have left an article at the old name containing only "#REDIRECT [[List of military disasters]]". More below. Spıke Ѧ 20:15 5-Apr-13
PS--List of military disasters remains, and does nothing but point to Military disaster, which is a classic Uncyclopedia disambiguation page. You can of course add disasters to this list, but try not to turn it into a catalog of just your own articles; keep using your user page for that. Spıke Ѧ 20:25 5-Apr-13

Thanks for letting me keep the article. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:35, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

To be clear: A redirect (indirect link) is a file containing only #REDIRECT. When you click on a page and it's a redirect, Uncyclopedia displays the page specified in the redirect. Don't create a lot of redirects just to direct people to your work, but do create one if, for example, you are writing about an organization and there is an obvious abbreviation that the reader might have typed instead. When you Move a page, the old page turns into a redirect, and usually you must use QVFD to ask an Admin to delete it. Your List was a "disambiguation page"--a mini-index. Spıke Ѧ 12:12 6-Apr-13

edit Schlieffen Plan

(The capitals here are appropriate as it seems to be the proper name of a plan.) There is no need to include text in this article begging for it not to be deleted. In fact, there is no urgency to create it before you could put anything of substance into it. No one is going to rush to beat you to it. Even if they were, we allow multiple articles on the same thing (Obama and Bush both have several), and they don't have to be consistent with one another. For absolute certainty as to its preservation: Work on it in your own userspace until it is ready for mainspace. Spıke Ѧ 19:43 5-Apr-13

Sorry. What do you mean by own userspace instead of mainspace? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:56, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
PS - Please read CAPITAL LETTERS IN TITLES below. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:02, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Userspace would be User:ScottPat/Schlieffen Plan. Unfinished articles are perfectly safe there. Spıke Ѧ 20:15 5-Apr-13

edit User:Anton199

I am not pleased with your comments to this new user.

  • You dropped my name to a new user so as to portray yourself as someone in-the-know.
  • Complaining to a newbie about an Admin, on a wiki where everyone can read everything, is not smart.
  • What you are complaining about is the fact that I don't give you the continual attention you feel is appropriate, which obviously reflects more poorly on you than on me.

Please concentrate on writing funny articles over making comments about others that might foment disagreement. Spıke Ѧ 19:43 5-Apr-13

Wow! Sorry. I am not trying to cause offence. I just made a sly remark and I deeply apolagise for that. I think you're taking it the wrong way, I just meant to welcome him. However I shall change my ways for the better and I shall not mention your name in a bad light again. Sorry. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:55, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

There is a difference between giving criticism when criticism is due and what you did. I am of course not asking you "not [to] mention [my] name in a bad light again." Spıke Ѧ 20:15 5-Apr-13


Titles can be written in title case; i.e., only using capital letters for the principal words. This is allowed in the English language so why not on Uncyclopedia. Besides when you search something with no capital letters the search says "there are no results for "x"" in capital letters. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:59, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

It is allowed in the English language but it is not Wikipedia's style and, as we pursue a superficial resemblance to Wikipedia, it is not our style, not even in UnNews headlines--no matter how your local newspaper does it. Spıke Ѧ 20:15 5-Apr-13

Understood. I've checked wiki and you're right (surprise). Do you want me to change all my titles or simply leave them how they are and just make sure I don't capitalise them in future. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 07:33, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

No, you should go back and correct the old titles; otherwise, they will remain as an inconsistency. We are all we've got, and no one cleans up after us! Spıke Ѧ 12:12 6-Apr-13
Sorry, I think you went too far: the names of wars (even a fictional one) and the names of poems do need initial caps (except for "a", "the", and prepositions). Spıke Ѧ 19:09 6-Apr-13
Now go to:

Sorry, will do. Thanks a lot. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:04, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

edit Hello

And a kind word of praise: "Praise De Lord". I like your new handle, bro. Will get to your pages much later or early on, people to see and place to go now. I will leave you with a link to one of my fave pages here, by The Thinker, which should lift all your spirits and your spirit's spirits. UnBooks:The Night I Slept with Björk Aleister 21:38 5-something something

p.s. Wow! I just read your comments on that new guys page, and that is so nice of you. I've never seen a new user here write such a very nice thing to another new user. Cool.
p.s.s. I see above you did something on the BP oil spill. Check out my and Guidy's page UnPoetia:Well-Oiled Birds. It was a joy to write, and when I found the youtube vid, it fit like a glove!!!

Thanks for that. I'll check out your UnPoetia page now. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:37, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

Just read it. Its great. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:44, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks. Some time after I linked it here I went back and read it again, and there's one little spot where it sticks (the Joe Biden quote) and I'll polish that loose. Sometimes I just "go" to it to listen and watch the youtube vid again. Aleister 13:44 6-4-'13

edit Emus fight a lot!

Here's one account of them fighting The Great Emu Battle of 1876. I found that when I was looking for emu pics. They are a warlike creature. Al 12:30 7-4-20000013

Thanks. I saw this article before but this refers to a different Emu War and I really wanted to do an article on the war in 1932 as the Australians end up, according to official records, killing 960 out of 20,000 birds and wasting 9,600 rounds out of 10,000 rounds of ammunition. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:44, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Nice. As long as you saw that one. Maybe you can link it or put it in a 'See also' section at the bottom. I'd never seen it before and didn't read it more than a skim. I used to carry an emu feather around in my wallet. Al 13:44 that day

Thanks I'll link it then. Also could you see my message about Pee Reviews on your talk page please. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:48, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

That was answered loooong ago (as minutes go) Al seconds later

edit On Pee Reviews

I've always neglected them, but have used them and improved almost every article that was reviewed. Ask Shabidoo, he does great reviews. And maybe read his and Chief Justice's old reviews, they are worth their weight in electronic gold. Puppy does good reviews too, lots of them in the past, so asking him won't hurt. You should have at least one or two good reviews to judge your pages from. Al 13:57 7-4-'13

Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:01, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit The Emu War

The article is finally finished. Tell me what you think about The Emu War. My next article will be Flemish which I have already started and then Battle of Blenheim. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:19, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Changed my signature (again!)

Does anyone know how I can get rid of the part that says {{{3}}} on my signature? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:11, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Yep. That template you're using ({{Proper name}}) doesn't really allow you to not use a third variable. I've just put a space there though, so there's an odd link in your sig, but nothing to worry about. When I get around to it I'll look at changing that template so it's more flexible.                               Puppy's talk page02:53 08 Apr 2013
Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:54, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit Alternative legal systems

Do you think my editing done to this article (adding the British legal system) bit is fine? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:40, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit QVFD

Next time you put a page on QVFD, try not to delete what was there before--even if it looks like it has already been deleted. You can practice move-and-QVFD again soon, because the word is spelled "Independence". Spıke Ѧ 11:59 8-Apr-13

Sorry, thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:02, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

All deleted. By the way: On QVFD, newest requests at the top, and indent everything with one space (don't ask me why this is done). Also, please indent your posts, as I did above, if necessary to set them apart from what others wrote. Spıke Ѧ 12:14 8-Apr-13

Sorry, will do that. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:15, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit Talk:North Korea VS Canada

I agree with your dire assessment of this page, but this is the guy's first "contribution" and I had already made more detailed and slightly gentler observations on his talk page. I took the rare step of deleting your remarks so that he did not see your page first and leave for good, just in case he has any potential. Spıke Ѧ 12:33 8-Apr-13

OK. Sorry. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:47, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Capitalism: In Grammar

Done.                               Puppy's talk page02:49 08 Apr 2013

Thanks. I'll take a look. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:50, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit Pissing pic

Hi. I reverted your pissing pic because another pic already had the same name, and is on many pages already. Can you upload the pic again under another name, or look at Category:Toilets for other pictures you could use. Or you may just like to keep the one reverted on the UnSignPost! That was nice of Puppy, I'll read the review too. Al 20:53 8-4-'13

edit UnSignpost


edit UnSignpost

A credible job! Nice that someone gets this going again.

Separately, if you want to reach out to new users, you need to give them starter instructions. I'm sorry to step on you, but I prepended my usual blurb on 50Shades's talk page. All the welcomers have a blurb. We also use {{Oh Dear}} when something a little less cheery is called for. Spıke Ѧ 12:53 9-Apr-13

Thanks. But SPIKE do you know how to send it out to everyone. You're the guy who's good with coding afterall. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:56, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
Bro ScottPat, a very good job, especially for a first issue. Congrats! And I've been circling around the subject about the other site with you, not mentioning it but feeling stupid not saying anything, and you know about it! I'm really glad you're here, as you are like the rookie of the year and other teams will want to recruit you (I play for both, but write my stuff here where it isn't as noisy and I can still hear the birds and see the stars). I read Puppy's review, which was well written as usual for him. When I voted for your feature I had partaked of some goddesssaken herb, and it seemed very well written. Best movie ever made! Al 13:08 9-4-'13

I do not; go fish. I am good with wikicoding and fair with CSS but do not know how 'bots run here. There was a staff of Newsletter Folders. You might have to find the list of subscribers and do it yourself. I'll see if Romartus knows how. Spıke Ѧ 13:04 9-Apr-13

Yeah I've seen the subscribers list but I don't know how to actually put it on their talk page. I've tried this: Template:UnSugnpost/20130804. But doesn't work. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:06, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost

Bro ScottPat, a very good job, especially for a first issue. Congrats! And I've been circling around the subject about the other site with you, not mentioning it but feeling stupid not saying anything, and you know about it! I'm really glad you're here, as you are like the rookie of the year and other teams will want to recruit you (I play for both, but write my stuff here where it isn't as noisy and I can still hear the birds and see the stars). I read Puppy's review, which was well written as usual for him. When I voted for your feature I had partaked of some goddesssaken herb, and it seemed very well written. Best movie ever made! Al 13:08 9-4-'13

Thanks for your comments. Could you explain this line: And I've been circling around the subject about the other site with you? What do you mean by "subject?" Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:16, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
Just trying not to mention it as we're not supposed to tell new people here about the other site (or at least I think that's the rule). And I really mean it when I say I like writing on this site better because of the "feeling" here, and almost everyone agrees we have to keep this ship well afloat. It's always been a fun and good place to play in. You are someone who takes good advice, and here we have lots of excellent writers and admins willing to give advice! Al that same week

Yeah I know its a great atmosphere. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:29, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Yes, we try to avoid using Wikia's resources to divert its traffic elsewhere.
One large conceptual problem with the UnSignpost: The only reason to write a date as 2013xxyy (or 2013.xx.yy) is to ensure that dates sort correctly. When you write dates this way, therefore, the month must come before the day (American-style, unfortunately). So your UnSignpost is the issue for next August 4.
Now, although you have praised whomever ensured the distribution of the UnSignpost, I don't see at Special:RecentChanges any evidence that any copies actually went out. Spıke Ѧ 13:37 9-Apr-13
Aleister sorry will do. SPIKE I got a copy anyway. Now Aleister claims to have sent it but PuppyOnTheRadio also said he'd sent it to me manually. So I'm really confused and just jumping between talk pages to apolagise to people I've accidentally thanked. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:41, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
Reading your thanks was one of the most horrible experiences I've had recently, and I am so glad you apologized for it. Getting thanks, even needless thanks for something that happened like magic, can't be descibed in words. Your apology is gladly accepted, and it's about time. Aleister q7:25 95-f-'26

Which thanks? I say thanks all the time (I'm British). I do't remember apolagising for something but then I don't remember deliberately trying to offend you so I am sorry if I did. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:29, April 10, 2013 (UTC)

edit VFD

You almost got the formatting right, this time, but seem to have eaten the heading of the following section. I'll support your nomination right after you clean it up, in-joke or no in-joke. But bad grammar alone, you should just fix yourself. As "Uncyclopedia works better when we each suck as well as blow," I hope you will also read some of the other dreck on the page and cast votes. (+4 is the usual quorum these days to delete a page these days, and it cannot happen in less than 24 hours, hence the colored clock.) Spıke Ѧ 11:37 11-Apr-13

I didn't delete the other title I just copied and pasted Finnish profanity twice by accident and left one copy there without a title so I deleted that one. Thanks a lot. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 11:41, April 11, 2013 (UTC)

Forgive me, I see you did cast a few votes and have now cast one more (at Christianity)--but if you want to encourage Uncyclopedians to "salvage...content" then voting to delete an article will not achieve it! On the Queen Thing, I'll move your remark from my talk page to VFD; it's a valid point. Spıke Ѧ 12:00 11-Apr-13

Thanks. I don't know where to put articles are meant to be put that need to be salvaged. Sorry. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:03, April 11, 2013 (UTC)

Just do it. We are, like, editors. See my own trophy case. (Also remember to indent to set your remarks apart from those of others on talk pages.) Spıke Ѧ 12:17 11-Apr-13

What if we don't like the subject matter or can't make humour out of it? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:24, April 11, 2013 (UTC)

edit patience

I still thnk it needs a rewrite as puppy said. This article has soooooo much potential...if you wait a bit more I'll very hapily write that pee review for you. --ShabiDOO 17:53, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks a lot. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:56, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

edit Judgement handed down

Hahahahaha I cut you a new one. Anyway, thanks for asking me to look at the talk page. Yikes. Spike and you should shake hands and be friends again. He comes across as grumpy sometimes, but if I took everything he said about me as an insult (which it is, except when he's a very caring and loving fellow) I'd hate him and hold my breath and stomp my feet. The trick is to listen to Spike, as his wisdom surpasses that of the Oracle of Delphi, except when he's wrong which is often (this whole thing about satire not including a concept of advocacy flies in the face of the great satirists of all eras of human history, up to and including Jonathan Swift, and then up to and including Lenny Bruce and Dick Gregory, and then up to.....). Spike is one of the reasons I edit and write here. Meeting you and watching you learn things here like a sponge has been very good. And thanks for educating me, you made me research the Nazi occupation of Greece which I knew almost nothing about. It adds another historical layer in my personal image of what the long ago second world war was like (I had relatives who fought in it, two received purple hearts, which I've since sold for a spot of beer). To me satire is very often education and advocacy, as long as it's good political or historical satire. I don't think Spike disagrees, he just wants something to be funny too. But we do need to make some decisions about VFH, and what to do about features. Al 18:40 12-4-'13

What do you mean about decisions? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:00, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

edit Lord Sutch#2

Hi, Scott! As you don't answer me on my page, I went on yours to increase the probability of you seeing my messages. I have enjoyed doing a review and (if you don't get annoyed while reading it) would like to do some more. I chose Lord Sutch. But, as you say, you need a reviewer who already has some background information. That's why I have some questions:

  • Has Lord Sutch ever been elected somewhere in real life? I guess not but want to make this completely clear.
  • Is everything about 2010 fake as Sutch died in 1999 or is there some truth?

I will be glad if you answer this. Meanwhile, keep going with your awesome articles! Anton (talk) 12:33, April 13, 2013 (UTC)

Sorry haven't been on for a while. I'm allowed a break you know. Anyway I'm happy to receive a review thanks. I think Sutch has been elected in a local council election. Not sure whether you live in Britain (you don't need to say) but in Britain a council is the lowest most local form of government. When OMRLP memebers do get elected the main parties get very annoyed. No my whole story about him winning the election 2010 is false. The Conservatives won it and they are in charge now. Basically I swapped the role of the OMRLP around with the Conservatives however all th policies and actions they do are OMRLP policies and actions (obviously blowing up Ireland and drowning France never happened). I don't mind if you do review it but please read the OMRLP website and wiki for background info. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:35, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you for your feedback! Lord Sutch is one of your masterpieces. Of course you are allowed to have a break, I was just kidding. I have read the wiki page and after gathering all the background information, will begin this review. Anton (talk) 13:38, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you my friend. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:40, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

edit Der Unwehr

Der Unwehr was, like the Grue Army, yet another Uncyclopedian's attempt to have a club within this club, probably so that he could become an Officer of it. Unsurprisingly, it is dormant at the moment. Spıke Ѧ 15:29 15-Apr-13

Would I be able to join Imperial Colonisation or is that dormant as well? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:41, April 15, 2013 (UTC)

More or less. In case you haven't noticed, the Mother Ship is still listing. Why look for a lifeboat on which to be Captain? In other words, you have met the best potential collaborators; just do it, or solo. Spıke Ѧ 15:59 16-Apr-13

edit Your username

Hi ScottPat, what about changing your username to PostmanPat? It's better. 14:11, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Why? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:51, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
I swung the ban-stick and hit this guy into Next Week. He did the same to me and Simsie too. Geez, you must rate! Spıke Ѧ 15:59 16-Apr-13

edit Requested Articles

I have written three articles for ones that were requested and I have found thi template that directs me to a reqaward page. I think I'm supposed to record that I've written a request article somewhere on this page or this page is only for request articles written that have got featured. I'm unsure what to do. Could you please tell me whether I do need to record that I have written three request articles and if so on which page and where. Thank you. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:15, April 17, 2013 (UTC)

I have seen users put a template on their user page noting that they have completed one (or many) Requested Articles. You don't need to record that you have done anything on Uncyclopedia. If you want to do so, I don't know the procedure for formal recognition; rather than Requested Articles, I find articles to save at our salvage heap, Votes for Deletion. We all use our user page to document our work and establish that we have been to a lot of corners of the website. Spıke Ѧ 21:58 17-Apr-13

OK thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 05:19, April 18, 2013 (UTC)

Actually MadMax used to put the templates on user pages that worked on these articles. See Maniac's user page (or maybe his talk page) for the dozens of pages he's worked up. He's a good and dirty hermit here. Aleister 13:40 18-4-'13
p.s. Maniac seems to have taken them down. He had them lined up all the way up and down his talk page. Maybe his archived talk page might show them.

OK thanks Al. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:56, April 18, 2013 (UTC)

edit Cap'n Crunch

Ready for a collaboration? Anon created this page, typing the single word "porn" (pretty funny, huh?). I sporked some more stuff from Wikipedia on the breakfast cereal of the same name, to serve as an afterthought--but it is an afterthought without a thought. What is missing is the main section, on the character himself, to flesh out my assertion that he laid waste to Her Majesty's Fleet. Could you write a short bio with gallows humor that obviously parallels the career of some famous British naval officer? Spıke Ѧ 11:57 22-Apr-13

Yes sure SPIKE. I'd be happy to. I'll try and get it done as soon as possible. I might do a Nelson bio style as no one will get the parrallel of a bio on Cunningham or Collingwood etc. as they are less well known. Thanks Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:17, April 22, 2013 (UTC)

edit Felicitations

I have felicitated (is that a word?) myself for reaching...30 ARTICLES (in 23 days) that I have written. This is a great milestone for me and I would like to share this moment of joy with my own talk page. YAY! Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:50, April 22, 2013 (UTC)

edit User:ScottPat/Ukraine

I left a note about unsolicited editing of others' userspace on the other editor's talkpage. Usually we don't edit others' userspace unless it is a collaboration. Also, I rolled back his edits, after seeing your notes on that page. Given your history of reverting vandals and using the "undo" button wisely, I'd give you rollbacks, but I'm not a bureaucrat. Anyways, keep working on the article, thanks for all your hard work! -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 19:50, April 22, 2013 (UTC)

I'm sorry you were unaware and I appreciate your reverts but Anton and I are collaborating and he has my permission to edit this. I have therefore revrted your revert but thanks anyway and thanks for complimenting the article. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:51, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
This draft is actually already fit for mainspace, given some of the other unfinished work percolating up in mainspace. Ironically, I scolded you about a lot of unfinished work in mainspace because I've dealt with you, whereas newer Uncyclopedians I haven't dealt with just do it in mainspace (and don't read the instructions in my Welcome message) and I don't scold them for fear of driving them away.
Although Simsie is right that you are welcome to collaborate in userspace, it looks funny to see it on Special:RecentChanges if you don't realize that it is by agreement, and I wouldn't blame our overnight people Snippy and Frosty if they reverted Anton as well. If you like, I'll move the article to mainspace without a redirect; or you can move it when you are ready (necessarily turning the userspace name into a redirect, which you'll have to list on UN:QVFD. Spıke Ѧ 20:19 22-Apr-13
I'll move it SPIKE as long as I can keep the redirect. Thanks. Sorry for the trouble we've caused. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:21, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
There is a problem with moving this into mainspace as there is already a Ukraine article but it is really bad hence why Anton and I are making a replacement. What do you suggest could be done? Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:23, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
No trouble at all. I don't see why you need a redirect at User:ScottPat/Ukraine, but if you want one, then you don't need anyone's help moving it. I see the existing page (unowned except by Rkononenko, who quit last July). Given the tag by Mordillo and the existing material, what I suggest is that you satisfy the request for improvement by copypasting youse's new stuff into the existing article, leaving any half-decent material in it even if it doesn't fit your new theme for the article, and then harmonizing it at your leisure. The most important thing is to coordinate the timing of any move with your collaborator Anton. Spıke Ѧ 20:35 22-Apr-13

OK, thanks. I'll do that later today. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:00, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

edit User talk:StupidlyHilarious

Although this user seems to have brought his own antagonism with him, would you mind not greeting a new user with such hostility, after Simsilikesims had already welcomed him? Do you in fact know he is a sockpuppet for someone else? Uncyclopedia:Sandbox is explicitly for user experimentation and cannot be "spammed," least of all by the little he added. If what is there is unsatisfactory, just reset it. Spıke Ѧ 17:16 23-Apr-13

Sorry I thought the Sandbox was for spam. What is actually for then? Didn't realise he was being hostile and didn't realise he was a sockpuppet (how am I meant to know?). Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:41, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Let me try to sort through this. You wrote to the newbie: "Hello padiwan. Thank you for spamming sandbox. It was...much appreciated." Surely sarcasm implying disapproval, and that you thought he was an alias of "padiwan" (of which I confess ignorance). The sandbox is for user experimentation. Spıke Ѧ 18:43 23-Apr-13

I did not intend sarcasm. As I thought it was for spamming I pretended that I was being sarcastic, disaproveful but implied that both he and I knew that you can spam there. However I now realise that it is for "user experiment" (what?). I must have misunderstood the text on spambox. I used padiwan to imply newbie referencing Star Wars, obviously. Sorry for any confusion, trouble caused please delete my comment if you think that it is not appropriate as I was simply trying to start a conversation with the user. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:57, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

I almost did, worrying about how he would take it; but--getting back to "his own antagonism," he quickly proved he was good at deleting posts in his own right. I also permabanned him while I wrote my first comment, then brought him back; not clear he ever noticed that. Also, he was "welcomed" by Kip the Dip, who in the same session finished clearing out his locker while leaving another turd in mine, meaning Kip's invitation to ask him for help is moot. I contemplated substituting my Welcome message, which is more detailed about how to post to talk pages (and not delete from them).

As an aside, I've recently modified my Welcome message to advertise Rev. Pennyfeather's proofreading service; you might want to do likewise. Spıke Ѧ 21:42 23-Apr-13

OK I will do. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 05:36, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

edit Informal review of EU

The article certainly has potential. Some references, such as the ECSC, are very clever and possibly deserve being made more of. Unfortunately, the article does get a little repetitive by the end. I would consider shortening some of the lists. I also think it comes across a tad TOO opinionated for my liking, although I know that is more a matter of personal taste. Your writing style is rather stilted (a very common problem). Cut down sentence size! At the moment, I don't think I can vote FOR on VFH, but don't despair! With a little work, it may yet reach the required standard. I'm no expert, consider getting someone experienced to have a proper look at it before any drastic changes, but I'd try sticking to a single unifying theme or concept (and shortening it). Rest assured, however, that it is generally a good article. If you, for some odd reason, want MORE of my bitter, twisted "advice", feel free to beg unreservedly on my talk page. Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 20:37, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks I'll take a look and cut down on it a bit. I'm afraid I sometimes am quite opinionated and even though I personally quite like the EU, I was trying to get the stereotypical view of each country on how much they hate the EU. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 05:35, April 25, 2013 (UTC)

edit Just to say thanks... anyone who voted for Capitalism: in grammar on VFH as it is now a featured article. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 07:38, April 27, 2013 (UTC)

edit Good police work

Thank you for policing the site (it was a women's softball DH today and someone stuck a microphone in front of me, obviously mistaking it for UnNews Audio). Being on the ban page, I almost gave you a token 2 hours for ignoring the instructions a second time (except then who would mind the site?!). Using {{User}} instead of {{U}} sets out a bunch of buttons to click to see the context. If you had used it, and if you had clicked, you would also see that, of the two, the user who is not brand new has been accused of the same thing before. Spıke Ѧ 21:02 27-Apr-13

I was banned? I did not realise until I just read this know! Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 04:53 28, October 2016 16:16, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

No, you were not banned. (That is what the word "almost" means.) Reread carefully: Use {{User}} at Ban Patrol so I can click and see what the guy did. Reread even closer: Indent your posts. Third time for both of these. Spıke Ѧ 16:54 1-May-13

I do try to indent my posts. Sorry Spike. When you previously warned me I thought you meant use Template:T1 instead of Template:T1 but now I know. Didn't see "almost" sorry. No need to be too aggresive I am trying my best (I know that's not good enough!). Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 04:53 28, October 2016

edit EU

I have added a few lines and an extra illustration. Thanks for coming up with a good article to fill in one of the gaps here!--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:51, April 27, 2013 (UTC)

This website has been running for 8 years and you've never done the EU? It sometimes amazes me. Thanks for your praise. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 05:38, April 28, 2013 (UTC)

I am sure there were previous attempts by other writers but the articles were either deleted for being crap or were not finished. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:27, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit User talk:Demimarauder

You are again throwing my weight around! (Or Simsie's et al, but we ought not make weight jokes about women.) You understand Uncyclopedia policy, and are stating it, correctly, and this newbie needs a lesson, maybe several; but the rest--"I will let you off this once"--implies that you are a V.I.P. whose favor the newbie might do well to seek. (I personally try to resist personal appeals, such as Denza252 et al kneeling before me and opening his mouth recently, in favor of objective signs, such as his continued resistance to regularize his signature, that we were all wasting our time.) In the years before I was an Admin, it worked equally well to threaten not a ban but to "nominate you for a ban" or "list you on Ban Patrol." You are one of our most important contributors here; just please use less puffery.

Separately, your welcome message has a copypaste error, or the error of forgetting that MediaWiki wraps text unless told not to. Please look at it again, and not just in the text editor. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 09:11 28-Apr-13

Sorry, I don't mean to imply I'm an admin and if you look at cases like the Curtle Ablitts one I specify that I have nominated them for a ban. I mean "let off" from being nominated. This is what I mean even if it doesn't come out in the right way. I will try my best to imply it in the right way. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 10:01, April 28, 2013 (UTC)

Very good. That, though, is the mere semantic problem; the substantive issue is the implication that what the newbie needs to do is curry favor. That would be a different Uncyclopedia in a different universe. PS--Have you considered archiving this page? Spıke Ѧ 10:12 28-Apr-13

It isn't that long is it. (I'm making it longer, much longer. Wahahahahahahahah!). Don't ask me why I wrote that. Yes...hello...arcive? Not yet. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 10:14, April 28, 2013 (UTC)

edit Informal review of How to: Walk on Saturn without falling over

I preferred this by far to EU. It was better written and more consistent. I think the structured nature of a How To format helps your writing a lot. I changed some sentences quite a bit to try and have a more readable style, but kept content largely unchanged. I have, however, added a few little bits. Feel free to remove these, burn them and eat the ashes if they prove unsatisfactory. I do have two pieces of advice:

  1. Don't spend too long explaining your jokes; move onto another. This wasn't too much of a problem here, but in some of your other articles you can spend a little too long on a single joke.
  2. Read the Wikipedia page before writing! It can sometimes give you a new idea, and also prevents you making factual errors to the detriment of the article. Saturn has neither a rocky surface or an atmosphere with much methane in. I know it doesn't usually make much difference, but in this particular case the main point of the title is that the surface is gaseous, making it difficult to walk.

However, as I said earlier, this is quite an improvement. Good work. Yours perfidiously, Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 19:57, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

The whole point is that Saturn is made of gas. That's the joke! Sorry, methyl atmosphere I think. I heard about it in a lecture can't quite remember. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:00, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

I believe that is an old wives tale. Saturn has almost no gas, and is entirely liquid with a solid helium core. You can walk on it easily. Go back to school and learn something before trying to write lies on such an esteemed and glorified website. Aleister 10:32 3--=4-0'13

Ok Aleister yes technically due to the huge amount of gravitational pressure there is a solid core in the middle surrounded by a helium liquid mantle however there is a huge amount of gas that surrounds it and your avergage idiot (Uncyclopedia reader) of the street probably would think that Saturn is completely gaseous so this article caters for them. As for school they never taught me any astronomer in the first place I just got all my current knowledge of that internet encyclopedia called Uncyclopedia. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:57, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

I Thought the joke was that Saturn is very windy. I have issues with this cluster of words though: "you'll have an amusing squeaky voice. Shame no-one, including yourself, will hear it. Why? You're in space, you twat." If you make it to the helium then you are actually with Saturn's atmosphere, meaning that there is something for the soundwaves in your voice to bounce off, causing sound. However, being windy, you may not hear it. Also hi, I'm old.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink 06:19 2 May 2013

I didn't write that part but thanks for warning me. I'll change it. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 04:53 28, October 2016

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