User talk:Sannse

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (and Uncyclopedians) please note there is a new procedure for asking for a name change. 1. Read this. 2. Ask for the change on my Community Central message wall. If you want your Uncyclopedia name to match a rest-of-Wikia name, please be sure to leave the message with your rest-of-Wikia account. 3. Confirm you want the change by saying so on this page, make sure you are logged in to the account you want to change. Please also confirm that you have read that. 4. Wait 2 working days 5a. Rejoice in your new name or 5c. Grumble that sannse has missed your message. If 5c, then please use Special:Contact to get the attention of me or one of my colleagues. Note that I won't necessarily see messages here if you haven't done step 2. Please me sure to message me on Community Central first. (It's also worth saying that it's safer to leave other messages there too... Uncyclopedia's separate user database means that I don't get notifications of messages here when I'm on other wikis). If I've deleted a request, and you still want the change, please follow the above. This time I'll sort it, promise! Thanks -- sannse (talk) 04:24, November 6, 2012 (UTC)

While you are here, I have a question for you

I'm not sure if this is an uncyc issue or a wikia thing, so I thought I'd ask. The search bar in the corner, it used to be that if you typed in a username in the search, (ie user:"fillintheblank") it would take you to the user page. Now, I've found that when you do that, if there is an article that is similar in title to the userpage, it automatically takes you to the article instead. The example I'm seeing, is user:Diane. When you type that in search, instead of taking it to the userpage, even clicking on the dropdown takes you directly to an article. Did wikia change the way the search bar works a while back, or is this just some weird bug? It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 03:06, October 11, 2012 (UTC)

Humm... we've changed parts of it a while back, but not that part. I think it needs looking at by someone with a better knowledge of the search work than I have. Please can you use Special:Contact to send in a bug report? Thanks -- sannse (talk) 22:46, October 12, 2012 (UTC)

Hey, I had a second unrelated question. Is it possible to reskin a userpage without it effecting the whole of uncyc? (You know for cosmetic reasons?) I want to be able to change the table on the left with the links for the reskin. Just curious if its possible and how. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 16:13, October 13, 2012 (UTC)

Yes, it's possible... but how exactly it's done is beyond me I'm afraid. I know that you need to adjust the css and possibly the js, and that will be using the MediaWiki pages for those.... but that's about the limits for me. I'd suggest you ask whoever is the wiki's current css/js guru. Or, if you don't have one at the moment, you could try Community Central's forums or the Monobook Wiki. -- sannse (talk) 21:01, October 15, 2012 (UTC)

Help

Is there any way I can talk with you directly (not publically). It has nothing to do with any polemics or conflict...theres just a specific question I have. --ShabiDOO 02:41, October 13, 2012 (UTC)

Sure, the easiest way is to send an email via Special:Contact with my name in the subject. You can also sometimes find me on Freenode IRC under this name, usually in the evenings San Francisco time. /whois to see if I'm online. I'm also on Skype if you use that, we have a public channel there and you can PM... let me know your Skype name and I'll add you. Finally, you can go to Community Central and join the chat there. If I'm not online, there may be another staff member or volunteer who can tell me someone is looking for me. That chat has a private message function too. Hope that helps -- sannse (talk) 21:01, October 15, 2012 (UTC)

Changing username

Hi Sannse. I would want to rename my account from "Bhenry2009" to "Bhenry1990". I registered Bhenry1990 as Wikia Account when i created an account at 伪基百科. Then I cannot register Bhenry1990 here. I wish my english uncyclopedia username were same as my Wikia username and other launguage uncyclopedias'. I left a message this June. But You were not here.--Bhenry2009 (talk) 18:42, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Hi, you're done. Enjoy the extra decade -- sannse (talk) 23:58, November 5, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you very much!--Bhenry1990 (talk) 08:54, November 6, 2012 (UTC)

I apologise

...for vandalising your signature. Also, hi. -— Lyrithya ༆ 05:02, November 15, 2012 (UTC)

Checkuser request

Hi there, could you please perform a checkuser on User:Hipster? We believe he is User:another_n00b and want to find out if this is true. Thank you :) // reddit · twitter · my sockpuppet || Airman Yrtneg is a unpleased Furby. MUN · Block · Contributions · · wp 15:08, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

Hey Yrtneg. Typically only admins are allowed to make checkuser requests. Also, since Hipster publicly confessed to being Another n00b there really isn't any doubt as far as I know that he is him. He has been given some restrictions but is otherwise free to remain a part of our community. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 19:21, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

Extra! Extra! News that's not new to you!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By ME, I Swear!

Nov 20rd, 2012 • Issue 175 • The edition that's black and white and dead all over

We are all doomed, and it's Wikia's fault By Bizzeebeever Shown: Wikia It's been a quiet four months at Uncyclopedia, our hometown, out here on the edge of the prairie, and it's not just because Wikia have murdered everyone and are currently bathing in golden tubs filled with their blood. It seems Uncyclopedia has lost more users than John Travolta has lost gerbils up his own butt, but fear not, Uncyclopedians-who-have-been-here-less-than-one-month! Long-time wunderkind and beloved administrator Frosty (sorry, are we laying it on too thickly?) has a plan to save us, and it involves... getting himself run over by a car. Ha ha! Actually, he posted a forum topic, accompanied by a vote, because that's what Uncyclopedians do in times of crisis, and it always works. Forum:Petitions to make all our users that quit comeback attempts to galvanize Uncyclopedia's remaining users to action by reminding them that we used to have members, Oh! so many members! Most of whom were better than us! Please sign a petition asking them back—sign, you ungrateful todgers, like your lives depend on it—and then email them all on the 14th! In theory, the people receiving said emails will return to Uncyclopedia with smiles on their faces and bliss in their hearts. In practice, however, the plan has been difficult to implement. And by "difficult", we mean "slightly impossible". A frustrated user has narrowed the plan's failure to three causes: Wikia sucks dicks Wikia is Satan Wikia sucks Satan's dick As it turns out, Wikia has limited the number of emails users can send to each other to ONE PER BLOODY DAY, rendering Frosty's scheme to bury our departed users under an avalanche of spam all for naught. As of Monday, November 19, exactly two departed users have been persuaded to return by the campaign, and nobody likes Kakun or Oliphaunte anyway, because they are useless puddles of suckage. It's just as well; most current Uncyclopedians are slightly too drunk to notice that putting a running chainsaw against one's neck is a bad idea, much less understand what the petition is all about. At any rate, if you haven't accidentally decapitated yourself with a chainsaw, do have a look at that forum, and if necessary, make yourself one or two (or forty) sockpuppets, just to spam those long-departed users of ours. The Cabal Wills It.* *(Note: There Is No Cabal) Frosty is dead. By Bizzeebeever Requiscat in pace, Frost-dude. No, you read that wrong, he is just dead inside. Earlier this month, Frosty nearly had the shit murdered out of him by a car. Luckily, as Frosty is a typical Australian teenager, he was protected from serious harm by his protein-based exoskeleton and his thick layer of poisonous, mucosal warts. The car is expected to recover in time for the rematch; in an interview with our correspondent, the car shouted numerous dark threats while leaping onto a turnbuckle and shredding its T-shirt. In the interim, Frosty has been resting comfortably with the aid of codeine, alcohol, and oral favors from the Asian transsexuals arrayed at his feet. "I find Uncyclopedia no longer holds the same draw for me as it did before," said Frosty, "especially since I've been getting oral favours from these Asian transsexuals arrayed at my feet." So weep, all ye who read this, for Frosty has joined the ranks of the undead, despised by God and abhorred by the God-fearing. On the upside: he can now appreciate those movies about sparkly vampires. On the downside: he wants our blood. RUN! Return of the Prodigal Son By Bizzeebeever Hearts and minds were filled with joy last month by the tentative return of beloved Uncyclopedian Bizzeebeever, who became scarce in July, leaving behind a terse apology for "having no money for Internetting". Current Uncyclopedia ghost Lyritha was heard to say "Buckets, remind me who that is, again..." before floating away down a corridor, moaning and rattling chains. Or rather, she would have, if ghosts were real, and if we'd asked her. Bizzeebeever's return is said to augur good tidings for the wiki, even though his current contributions consist of pointless pot-shots at Wikia, and short, pithy remarks left on talk pages, such as "fuck you, I hope you are dead", and "please disregard the previous comment, my penis was caught in a pencil sharpener". He also lurks for hours on IRC, talking and playing UnTrivia by himself. It will surprise no one at all that Bizzeebeever is now the person most accomplished at playing with himself; when we asked Zombiebaron about Bizzeebeever's remarkable dominance of a game that no one else plays, he was heard to remark "Zombiebaron", which our interpreters took to mean "Can someone please ban that guy? I am too lazy to do it myself." We at the Unsignpost do hope that Bizzeebeever holds on to his current position as Head of Quality Assurance at the dildo factory, for we have missed his hilarious forum posts almost as much as we missed his habit of talking himself up in the Unsignpost ...and his limpid blue eyes ...and his silky-soft golden locks ...and the charmingly-gnarled 40 kg tumor jutting from his neck—you know the one, it resembles the offspring of a blood tangerine and a baboon, and contains both hair and teeth...? (That might be his head; we're not sure.) Anyway, yes, we all love Bizzeebeever, and we hope he stays "returned", at least until the judge decides whether to hold him indefinitely, or just chemically castrate him, for the safety of the public. Return of the OTHER Prodigal Son By: Bizzeebeever This past week, another intermittent Uncyclopedia member (and full-time Mensch-in-Chief), TKF, returned to swear at SPIKE; delete articles which had even votes on VFD; ban people; feature an article with one "For" vote, one "Against" vote, and one comment on VFH; and be a generally hilarious excuse for an administrator. We all want to be you when we grow up, TKF!

Check out these pages! Some forum or other Almost forgot about this one... ZOMG NOOOOOO! Morons whining impotently As usual, VOTE YOU FAGS Srsly, somebody should do something about this shit Current op abuse: 04:58, November 6, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Romartus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Adding yourself to ban patrol (I seroiusly tried very hard not to do this, I SWEAR!)) 10:31, November 17, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Shame on you for hating on Australian films! [DO NOT UNBAN]) 03:00, November 18, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Aimsplode (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 years ‎ (Asked to be blocked for 5 seconds, alas I can't spell.) 19:24, November 19, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Nothing can get me ready for a day of school like blocking chief for no reason.) 07:37, May 21, 2013 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked Everyone (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Wouldn't it be cool if this actually happened (lol)) Biopic of the Week This week's biopic concerns Hipster, who used to be Hypster, who used to be Another n00b, who was ...apparently a doody-headed dildo who pissed off other users by NOT INDENTING COMMENTS PROPERLY and BEING FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. (No, seriously.) A doody-headed dildo who was given his very own section in the Right Honourable Flammable's Bureau of Overreaction, Never-ending Embarrassment and Regret (BONER), shortly before accepting a free ban for life from Zombiebaron. However, the Autist Previously Known As Another_N00b made his return to the wiki via sockpuppet last year, and only just this week was found out...by audaciously admitting who he was, right there on his talk page, for God and all the bourgeoisie to see. Unfortunately for those whose ban-fingers were itching this week, the incorrigible little twit seems intent on becoming a useful member of society, seeking redemption by turning 17, making edits that aren't actually vandalism, and (only occasionally) calling other users "utter fuckwads". He even wished Uncyc admin Frosty a speedy recovery from his car accident with the tremendous words "Exactly how does any of this nonsense affect me and why should I care?" We at the Unsignpost salute Hipster on his freewheeling, brutally honest style, and wish him the best of luck in the forty minutes that will elapse before Frosty drops a uranium banhammer on him. We're rooting for ya, Hipster! Old-School FA A popular defensive measure during the Medieval period, the bouncy castle dissuaded attack by bouncing. Bouncy castles look exactly like static castles, except for the enormous springs concealed in the cellar. As an enemy, such as Goths, Vandals or rabbits approached, castle staff would release the springs causing the entire castle to shoot up into the air, thus saving it from plunder. The first recorded idea for the bouncy castle comes from the notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci. Forward thinking as ever, da Vinci rendered his castle complete with springs, airbags, electric windows, CD player and machine guns to deal with helicopter attacks. Like so many of da Vinci's ideas, however, it was hundreds of hours before anyone put it into practice. Word of the week, provided by: Bizzeebeever Castoreum: \cas*to"re*um\ n. 1. a peculiar bitter orange-brown substance, with strong, penetrating odor, found in two sacs between the anus and external genitals of the beaver. You're welcome. Note: No Uncyclopedia dog this week. As the Unsignpost could no longer afford the Uncyclopedia dog's increasingly ludicrous demands for royalties, he has been made redundant. His relatives have been notified.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

 ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Nov 20 '12 9:07 (UTC)

That content warning thing

What about this? If not this, then how about barking dogs? Or room temperature egg salad? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:10, November 20, 2012 (UTC)

All of them are a problem :( Having a warning just for specific pages would mean the current extension would need recoding. I'm not sure if/when that could happen. I'm also not sure how it would work to minimize views. The current version is only supposed to show once per visit (or less, I'm not sure), maybe that could still work with individual pages...

Anyway, I'll pass it on (the idea, not the barking egg salad) and see what comes back -- sannse (talk) 18:59, November 21, 2012 (UTC)

If someone comes here and searches for things that make the squares and prudes freak out, they get to see this:

...generally (and that's after the one-time click through warning warning that's got the kids here in a tizzy), but if they go to Wikipedia and, say, search for "vagina"...

Discuss. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:36, November 21, 2012 (UTC)

Wikia is not Wikipedia -- sannse (talk) 19:17, November 27, 2012 (UTC)

That explains why Wikia put the kibosh on my wiki! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:02, November 27, 2012 (UTC)

We did what where? -- sannse (talk) 19:42, November 28, 2012 (UTC)

Hoohoowiki. And I don't think Dickywiki's gonna pass, either. Harrumph! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:34, November 28, 2012 (UTC)

Well that really depends whether it's a comprehensive and accurate project to record all famous people named Richard, or a wiki on the political ambitions and policies of the Democratic Indira Congress (Karunakaran), or a directory of Private detectives in the Lower Manhattan area..... or.... something else -- sannse (talk) 21:56, November 28, 2012 (UTC)

Are you trying to be funny? We don't much tolerate humour around here. Comedy is serious business. We don't much tolerate serious business around here either. Kind of a catch 22, really. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:20, November 29, 2012 (UTC)

Wait... I thought we didn't tolerate catch 22s around here? -- sannse (talk) 19:11, November 30, 2012 (UTC)

True, but that's only because we think Catch22 is a boy band. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:16, November 30, 2012 (UTC)

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The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

Nov 27, 2012 • Issue 176 • I scream, you scream, we all scream...for painful orgasms

Good news, everybody! We're saved! By: Bizzeebeever No, Uncyclopedia has not gotten religion; it's still full of degenerates, wang vandals, and that scourge of gay men everywhere: uncensored images of boobies. However, it has seen a recent influx of old and new users, most of whom apparently never got the memo about how Uncyclopedia sucks, or how Uncyclopedia is dying, or how Uncyclopedia will be contagious for another six weeks before the amoxicillin starts working. Returning recently like a scorching case of gonorrhea were Meganew (!), Socky, NoNamesLeft (to the everlasting delight of Frosty), and Master of Menageries Comicat1, who took a six-month sabbatical to invent preposterous new animals on the Serengeti. New users include Sinner George, MagicBus, Leverage, Fakehater and Kamek98, who have all taken to editing like ducks take to water—of course proving that they are all sockpuppets of someone, for which they will all be perm-banned, just as soon as Frosty can figure out who. Lastly but not leastly, we celebrate the arrival of the ridiculously competent Murder Frog, who brings expertise on influential musicians of the last century, but, more importantly, has the most awesome name since the Universe itself birthed Captain Machinegun Thunderpants Fuckmaster on a pile of slaughtered tigers. The UnSignpost welcomes them, one and all, and hopes that their tranquilizers don't wear off while they still remember how to leave. Obituary for a friend By: Bizzeebeever Stay classy, Uncyclopedia! Thanksgiving came and went on Uncyclopedia this past week, and while the rest of the world was busy cracking jokes about how Americans really don't need to throw a holiday as an excuse for eating, a certain Uncyclopedia tradition was busy getting beaten, raped, and left for dead in the compost-bin of memory. Yes, we were referring to the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball; how did you know? For those of you who don't remember, or don't want to remember (we assume that's all of you), the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball was the once-mighty celebration of sex-, torture- and scat-based humor so debauched and vile that it would shame a London dockside whore, and not a fresh young one, either—one that had been "fucked around the fleet". Sadly, no one even remembered the damn thing until two days before Thanksgiving, and when Uncyclopedia's favorite whipping boy brought up the subject in a forum, he was met by a silence so vast that we assume he fell into it, because we haven't seen him since. Being Kip, though, he'll probably pop back up through a sewer grate somewhere. Swim hard, Kip. The ATDB left no survivors; its limp corpse will be thoroughly sexually abused, its intestines torn apart and worn around necks like Christmas garland, and its remains will be fed to a freshly no-legged midget with a massive dildo rammed up his butt. Damn you, Mhaille and Zombiebaron, you lazy useless fucks. Esoteric bullshit By Editor A certain faithful UnSignpost reader recently noted via electronic signal that the UnSignpost's last edition was both "spam" and "esoteric bullshit". We Here At the UnSignpost™ were, to be frank, shocked and dismayed by this statement, for it was never our intent to be anything but the most outrageously stupid, inane, crass, vulgar, rude, boorish, inbred, brain-dead, emotionally-stunted, anti-literate, fucked-up and all-around retarded puddle of gassy splooge east or west of the Mississippi—or any river, for that matter. In this endeavor, however, it seems we have failed. "Sit and spin, Hotadmin4u69." ~Jesus Yes, someone has beat us to it, and by a wide margin, for he is the undisputed champion of such sculduddery. So we offer up our most heartfelt apology to that reader, who shall remain nameless (it was Hotadmin4u69), and we humbly admit that we stand in awe of his ability to pick the gayest user name possible, not once, but twice. However, while we wish him the best of luck in disentangling his dental retainer from his own scrotum, we would like to remind him of the famous adage, Never quarrel with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Frosty Sez: "Patrol RecentChanges, fags, 'cuz I'm not doing it anymore." Check out these pages! Yes, it is still going Whoever "snerk" is, he can't keep it in his pants. It is very very important that you know this Our suspicions are finally confirmed. WHY GOD WHY Current op abuse: 02:57, November 19, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.219.142.161 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 years ‎ (Still loving the penis after all these years, huh?) 09:13, November 22, 2012 Romartus (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.207.212.111 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't recreate crap. Take a tissue.) 05:49, November 26, 2012 Romartus (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.45.119.19 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Back so soon? And guess what...you're still acting like a twat. I am extending your break Short Trousers.) 20:41, November 27, 2012 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.9.19.97 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (POOP.) Biopic of the Week In this edition of the Weekly Biopic, (gasp gasp...running out of ways to rephrase that!) the UnSignpost is spotlighting one of our newer members, Snippy, who makes silk purses out of sow's ears, reverts morons and vandals like reverting is going out of style, and is liked by one and all. In fact, this past week, Frosty claims he was in Snippy's lovely hometown of Byron Bay, New South Wales, to deliver Snippy's prize for being named Uncyclopedian of the Month: a forceful, lingering kiss on the lips, followed by a random sex act. Congratulations, Snippy, and we hope it only hurt for the first 15 minutes! Now that all your hard work has received recognition by your peers, please get out there and shovel some more shit; you missed a big pile of it. Sorry, our only shovel is broken; you'll have to use your shoes. Pity, they looked like very nice suede. Oh, well. Next week, look for a profile of Leverage! Before he disappears from the site forever, of course. Word of the week, provided by: Bizzeebeever Penis-sheath: An insult comparing the insultee to an article of clothing worn around the Johnson. Neither the insult nor the article of clothing actually existed up until I just now invented them. You're welcome. This Week's Puddle of Random Crap™ On or around this date in 2007, Dr. Skullthumper made the following edit: Added "800px" to an image in Kitten Huffing A quick review of the Good Doctor's edit history shows that, in 2007, he had less of a life than I do now. Thank you for reading This Week's Puddle of Random Crap™! Note: No Uncyclopedia dog this week. UnSignpost management is currently in negotiations with a supplier of illegal fighting dogs to provide a temporary substitute for the late UnSignpost mascot. We will miss you, UnSignpost Dog.

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 ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Nov 29 '12 5:30 (UTC)

SANNSE!!!!!!!!

I need to have a talk with you on IRC later, if that is doable... --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 20:03, December 4, 2012 (UTC)

If I'm there, you can talk to me... and sometimes I even reply!! -- sannse (talk) 23:17, December 6, 2012 (UTC)

Am on IRC right now, so... --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 23:21, December 6, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry, if you need something you can look for me there, but I don't go on during work hours (usually), and only rarely otherwise. It really is a lot better to use Special:Contact -- sannse (talk) 22:09, December 7, 2012 (UTC)

Journalism so yellow it's orange: The UnSignpost

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The Newspaper Whose Mum Said It Was Cool!

Dec 6th, 2012 • Issue 177 • OH GOD RUN! IT HAS GENITALS, AND IT IS IN SEARCH OF A MATE!

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Thu, Dec 6 '12 13:01 (UTC)

Sloppy, falling-apart, and duct-taped-together: the UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

Dec 12th, 2012 • Issue 178 • Only wild horses can tear me apart.

Peas offering By Kip Ed. note: in a spasm of Darwinian fish-eat-fish madness, self-described "cock-juggling thunder-cunt" Thekillerfroggy has been riding a white horse with Death following after, especially targeting SPIKE, who, on his own time, has been gnawing the heads off of newbies and IPs alike. Here to comment on the lulz-filled proceedings is our own field-correspondent (yes we have a field correspondent, stop looking at us like that), Kip the Dip: I was asked to write a guest editorial, so let's get this over with. In the spirit of the Christmas and/or Holiday Season, I would like to offer an olive branch of peace. We could all use a little more peace around here. Well, not here, per se, because drama is always welcome amusement for me. More so than in places like the Middle East—the Middle East needs to calm the fuck down and Uncyclopedia needs to be more like the Middle East is what I'm trying to say. Still, drama isn't always amusing. For example, I won't be on the front page next month (I mean, if (point for humility) I win an award) because someone is having a pissy-fit over some bollocks and removed the awards from the front page. In this particular case, we need to pee on the fire, rather than fan the flames. The conflict I'm referring to is between two celebrated users, Thekillerfroggy and SPIKE. The root of this tension stems from the fact that TKF thinks SPIKE is the worst person ever and should leave this site, or at least stop sucking his own dick. Basically, SPIKE is to TKF what Toby is to Michael on The Office. Particularly if there were a British equivalent to Toby. God, that's a good show. Or was. It really blows now. Let me just say that you both have your faults. TKF: You need to stop being a dick, even when it is more hilarious than when it isn't. You appear to be in a drunken rage. I realize it's Hanukkah, but you should really tone it down on the whine. And SPIKE: Well, I just think you're a textbook case of someone who needs to masturbate more. I suggest you start December 25th, when you're having a less-than-sufficient amount of fun reading my holiday-themed articles. Despite these differences, you both have one thing in common: You're Uncyclopedians. And the essence of being an Uncyclopedian is appreciating the art of Comedy. When the world is at its darkest, we rely on the light of humor, parody and satire. Some have said that Uncyclopedia is at its darkest point right now, that our brightest days are far behind. Yet if the annual winter solstice teaches us anything, it's that the brightest days always follow the darkest nights. Or some sugary moral message like that. I mostly just wanted to drop a few horrible puns and get away with insulting you both all over the site. Merry Christmas! Today's date is significant! By Bizzeebeever Because Joey Numbers has his first feature, Wikia are censoring cocks, and it's 12/12/12. That's why, bitches. Shown: classical art, according to Wikia. Uncyclopedia and social nutworking! Do you have a lame sense of humor that is best expressed in 140 characters or less? Do you enjoy ruining the mojo of entire websites? Do you have a tiny penis, or none at all? Then have we got news for you! Those of you who wish to do a better job of misrepresenting Uncyclopedia on all the popular social platforms, including YouBoob, Twatter, Facebutt, StubbleUpon, Porntrest, Cumblr, Spreddit, and all the others, are hereby invited to hit up Hotadmin4u69's talk page, and to do it forthwith, post-haste. Why? Because Hotadmin4u69 runs Uncyclopedia's social networking presenceses...es, all by his lonesome—or at least he did...until now. But he's NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOAH! No, seriously, he's going to quit the wiki entirely (as if he hasn't already) if people don't lend him a hand. He loves you all, but you all suck, and it's a thankless task—almost as thankless as writing and delivering this drivel every week.

Check out these pages! Very, very sad, really. Kindly take that language elsewhere, sir. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. From our logs: The ban that started all the fun 03:37, December 10, 2012 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked SPIKE (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (I just swallowed a little bit of my own vomit reading you put down a noob then proceed to suck your own dick for five whole lines of what I presume to be english words) Mad-libs ban: 16:08, December 11, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.207.212.111 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Hi, I'm Fuck You. I like gay bum sex with You're Banned. And sometimes I like to suck Don't Come Back's fat cock.) Get a room, girls! 01:41, December 10, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 226 hours 37 minutes 45 seconds ‎ (Idling on IRC for this long like a true gay faggot <3) 23:01, December 10, 2012 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) (Frosty has both female and male genitals. The more you know.) 23:23, December 10, 2012 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Hold on I've gotta figure out how to deop you before you can unban yourself) 23:24, December 10, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (pwnt.) 23:27, December 10, 2012 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) (lol obvi i was joking although i agree it will be funnier next time when i deop you before the ban) Biopic of the Week Last week we promised you hookers, rum and flavored spermicide, so here you are. Ha ha ha, just kidding! No, this week's biopic is about Sinner George, whose exceedingly clever user handle is a reference to Saint George, patron saint to all Greeks everywhere, which tells us that he is Greek. As does his user page, and the little flag next to his signature. Unfortunately, we know absolutely nothing else about Sinner George; however, as this has never stopped us from writing a biopic before, we asked our Field Correspondent Kip the Dip to discover some fascinating things about this fascinating newbie. Here's a transcript of our conversation: <Editor> Kip: know anything about sinner george? <Kip> No. <Editor> Make one or two things up. I have a biopic to write! <Kip> He likes Greek food because he's Greek. <Editor> Excellent. <Kip> Also, he's probably hairy. <Editor> Yes, yes, also excellent. So there you have it! Sinner George is (a) new to the 'pedia, (b) Greek, and (c) therefore probably not someone who reads the UnSignpost. Your loss, George! UnSignpost Word of the Week Censorship: see Wikia. (This Section Intentionally Left Blank)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Wed, Dec 12 '12 14:13 (UTC)

Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mum Said It Was Cool!

Dec 19th, 2012 • Issue 179 • YOUR JOKE HERE! Contact management for details.

Apocalypse postponed until after NFL playoffs By Editor This week, it was publicly confirmed for the first time that the on-again-off-again Apocalypse has been postponed indefinitely, due to an accumulation of frozen water in and about the subterranean headquarters of Heck, Incorporated. Yes, it appears that Uncyclopedia's dwindling community of degenerates and failed comedy writers (which is literally the same thing, but never mind), having suffered far too long under the Wikian lash of nipple-and-dick censorship, have finally gotten their shit together, and are making a move to new hosting. News of the move came in Uncyclopedia's Village Dump, as part of a nonchalant post by Lyrithya, who returned to the site from her current job as a human spiderweb to stun, confound, and enrage exactly two people with her announcement. When asked why she chose now to de-bag her cat, instead of waiting for a more opportune moment (such as, y'know, after the fucking move actually happened), Lyrithya had this to say: "I was drunk." Salient words, indeed, which show she is an Uncyclopedian through-and-through, and which afford the rest of us an overwhelming sense of confidence in the Uncyclodepia Moving Company. Yes. High-jinks on the farm. However, while We Here At The UnSignpost™ lounge about and poke fun, you may rest assured that the technicians at Up With Uncyclodepia have not been taking it easy. It's been eleven months of back-breaking work out on the wiki farm, getting up at the crack of noon to shovel out the cow coop, milk the chickens, and slap the sheep for indulging in indelicate thoughts. According to an anonymous source at the highest level of Uncyclopedia's labyrinthine network of cabals, the move quite definitely, absolutely, without a doubt, will be happening at some distant point in the very near future, probably maybe, just as soon as all the ducks are lined up in convenient rows so that they can be loaded onto trains and sent to special camps. When we asked what the bloody devil this meant, we were told to shut up and move along, and that there is no cabal, which we admit must be true, as we have heard it so many times. So, to recap: Uncyclopedia is leaving Wikia for greener pastures, and as most things undertaken by Uncyclopedians happen, it will be slap-dash, semi-competent, and will probably result in everyone involved hating each other to the death, hopefully with the assistance of swords, horses, and heavy artillery. Reaction to the news! By: Editor As of press time, the list of Uncyclopedians furious at having been left out of all the fun could not be reached for comment, but are assumed to be boiling with righteous indignation. To make sense of the week's stunning development, we were able to get hold of an expert on all things frozen and hellish: Sumerian demon-king and devil-about-town, Pazuzu. "I was just doing what I usually do," said he, "by which I mean I was hanging out in some northeastern American town, whispering into the ear of a nondescript loner that guns are fun and kids love fun, and hey wouldn't it be cool if you combined the two?, when I heard that Uncyclopedia was leaving Wikia! I said shit, motherfucker! and ran over there as quick as I could to shut that shit down, but it was too late. And now my home Down Under is encased in ice. Man, some days you're the dog, and some days you're the fire hydrant, know what I mean?" We really didn't, but as we have always enjoyed not being frogs, and would prefer to maintain that state, we nodded furiously and thanked our interviewee for his time. Newbies! Protect them, love them, they are our future! Heil Newbies! By: Romartus How often has someone started a forum 'We're Doomed' or 'Where Domed' , and other variations of the announcement 'this website has moved away from my idea of what is funny' ? So what we can do here, but celebrate a clutch of new fully fledged contributors who arrived on our shores, all fresh and well-scrubbed! In recent months, we had Leverage produce articles faster than bindweed, and now he has joined by the likes of MagicBus (an admirer of The Who or a kaftan nostalgic?), news hound Bill Melater, and the ferocious Fakehater, who will rip your arms off if he detects you're a phony. Then there is Murder_Frog, who swears blind he is unrelated to another amphibian. (Evidently the lily pond is big enough for two croakers.) Another newbie who is currently taking a keen interest in Singapore is CDPCCNAC. What the name means, I have no idea, but perhaps he is wise to leave so few clues about his true identity. Then there is our own Mr Tambourine Man, Equilateralperil. Moving closer to the ground, looking for literary earthworms in his search for Sonic the Hedgehog-related stories, is Igotnothing, whilst from the Land of Connery is Dannyboy1209. A noob with ambition, Danny has already asked to become an admin and has nominated himself for everything. With an attitude like that, this one is going places—here, there or everywhere. Who will become the Noobs of Noobs and win something to stick on their bedroom door? The jury is out, and so am I, tonight. Go ahead, check these fledglings out here.

Check out these pages! No, no we are not. That is a vacuum cleaner, Aleister. No thanks. Shabidoo's 500th new forum! You win a prize, Shabidoo. Here's a mop. From our logs: This week, due to intense laziness on the part of our administrators, no one received a funny ban-summary. We have our best men on the case, and are ferreting out the source of this oversight. In the meantime, you should be ashamed of yourself, Frosty. Biopic of the Week For what we're quite certain is the first time in the long, inglorious history of the UnSignpost Biopic, our correspondents have actually interviewed an Uncyclopedian about themselves. It was a difficult job that was as hard on us as it was on Bill Melater, but the scratches and bite-marks are probably just superficial, and we were going to get a new pair of pinking shears anyway. To the facts: Bill enjoys making up fake names that are ribald puns, and he claims to be a Cuban-American cat owner living with his beautiful Russian bride, Ripya Kokov, in the wonderful country of Finland, which he terms "the home of comedic flop-sweat". The UnSignpost has never been to a comedy club in Finland, but rest assured that if we visit one in the future, we will bring towels and an industrial-sized drum of Clorox. Bill also claims he's 47 years old, which we believe makes him the third-oldest active Uncyclopedian, behind SPIKE, who was born during Woodrow Wilson's second term, and Romartus, who we understand still owes Hadrian five denarii for a mule that he borrowed and never returned Anyway, We Here At The UnSignpost™ feel that Bill is selling himself short. Bald, fat, married, and living in one of the coldest, darkest countries on Earth?! Ladies of Finland, I sense an opportunity! If you're looking for hot, sweaty lust with a middle-aged Yankee Lothario who isn't getting any, and is therefore filled to the brim with sexual angst... don't look at Bill Melater, because his wife just found his talk page, where he described himself as "pussy-whipped." Ouch. You thought Finland was cold in the winter? You ain't met Ripya Kokov. Word of the week, provided by: Bill Melater Pussy-whipped 1. a phrase used to describe the state of a person who has been beaten with a cat. Believed to have originated during reign of Ramses II. 2. something you say when you hope your wife isn't listening. Newsroom UnTune of the week UnNews:Hark! The Herald Angus Sings It's an UnTune AND an UnNews, because that's how Kip the Dip rolls, bitches! (You're welcome, Kip.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Wed, Dec 19 '12 17:34 (UTC)

Drop your pants and grab the eggnog! It's the UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

January 2nd, 2013 • Issue 180 • We always do it Manually!

Vote! Or else! By Chief This image has not been altered in any way Is it that time of year again? It's the time when everyone celebrates the people who are the most remarkable amongst us at everything except what matters. It's time for Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year. These compliment our small selection of awards: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Not forgetting of course to all the userspace awards. Writer of the Year got off to a splendid start when Aleister in Chains nominated Funnybony and SPIKE for the award by writing brief but poignant marriage proposals to both of them. Thank goodness for Aleister, if not for him the wider world might have assumed we weren't all massive girls. Since then Thekillerfroggy nominated Xamralco, who was not able to express his appreciation due to a serious case of not editing the wiki any longer. As always what should be a rigorous heterosexual competition involving manly pursuits like backstabbing, lies, blackmail and threats is being irretrievably compromised by people like Aleister and Shabidoo; people whose sole purpose on the awards pages is to make everybody else feel bad about not noticing other people. Uncyclopedian of the Year is being lead by Romartus, Uncyclopedia's voting-in-chief. Shockingly, he was also nominated by Aleister who, as it turns out, is gayer than Christmas, apparently Romartus makes him "Proud to be an uncyclopedian", he makes "Legendary votes on VFH" and gives "Legendary hand relief". Potatochopper of the Year is a more subdued and manly affair, where absolutely nobody has been nominated at all... it's like reviewer of the month were moved to a different page name. Hopefully Aleister or Shabidoo will nominate someone soon, we here at the UnSignpost have gone to the trouble of writing the nomination for them: "<insert name here> has made many fantastic images, at least two of which I have made love to on at least nineteen occasions. My genitals ache for them every single evening and someday they will make my dreams come true and love me! Also Olipro sucks balls." Olipro was the only nominee for Useless Gobshite of the Year (insert your own joke here), but Zombiebaron quickly joined him in ignominy. Please go vote for both of them so they may end up tied, and share the prize (a year's supply of toilet paper) on their revolving bed built entirely from used condoms and KY bottles. From the desk of the Cabal: 2013 is the year of subservience By Nobody Once again you all stand before us, another year of failure behind you and another year of subjugation ahead of you. The non-existent Cabal would like to wish you all a happy New Year. All workers users are reminded that failure to celebrate the new year with adequate happiness and joy is punishable by enforced time labouring in the non-existent Lime Quarries followed by the immediate cessation of chocolate rations for the remainder of this work quarter. Once again you have failed us, utterly and completely. Last year we advised you all that resistance was utterly unnecessary and, if anything, we have had to tolerate 0.22% more resistance, we have heard you discuss and then decide to leave our kind benefactors, whilst promoting several of your own number to within the cabal in an effort to encourage dissent and democracy within our ranks. We saw you continue to tinker with that which does not concern you whilst simultaneously complaining when people are warned about the indecent images you propagate amongst your number. It seems prudent to remind you that if we delete every single template, every single image and every single forum your freedom will only increase. It is not what some of you have foolishly referred to as "overly deletionist", it is streamlining and it is good for all of you. It is with vague optimism that we note that you continue to strive at a barely satisfactory level, you have certainly earned a small fraction of the baubles and trinkets that have been handed out over the past year. It has not escaped our notice that the Worst 100 Reflections on 2012 only closed on time this year due to Thekillerfroggy skipping sixty of the reflections, we are gratified to note that Roman Dog Bird had practically no input on the list and very few of them regard uncontrolled outbreaks of creativity and morale, such dangerous forces must be carefully rationed and controlled. Cutting of corners and a blatant disregard for regulations do not amuse the Cabal. Now we must inexorably turn our attentions to 2013 and the promise it brings. All users should note that due to several security compromises over the last few months movement throughout the Uncyclopedia complex has been restricted during the hours of darkness. Where major editing is to take place you must ensure that you have faxed the appropriate forms to your divisional liaison officer prior to commencing work, failure to do so will result in an unacceptable breakdown in bureaucracy. Uncyclopedia must prevail, editors must remember that without patient mind numbing work and servitude we can never accomplish our ultimate goal of... well, that need not concern you. That is all citizens, you may now return to your allocated taskings.

Check out these pages! BURN THE WIKI BURN IT TO THE GROUND A long, long, very long forum where nothing was accomplished and everybody eventually just started typing random bullshit. A bad, bad, very bad idea, which the UnSignpost endorses with full vigor. An even worse idea. A page where Kip the Dip takes credit for something bad, very bad. A discussion far more important than any of the preceding links. Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home: 03:48, May 2, 2012 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Hahaha you're not an admin so I can do this and get away with it! Hahaha! (hahahhaha)) 22:44, May 18, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (Not cool to use other people's sigs man......*shity eyes*.....) 23:07, July 17, 2012 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Snoopin' around in areas he shouldn't be concerned with) 19:32, October 4, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 44 seconds ‎ (I must block you at least once in order to be more awesome than you.) 03:31, November 17, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Shame on you for hating on Australian films! [DO NOT UNBAN]) 02:11, December 13, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 4 minutes ‎ (User request) 16:11, December 19, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (Necessary research into the reasons for no funny bans having happened last week. Do not be alarmed, we are trained professionals, and also very aroused.) 01:29, December 26, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 33 seconds ‎ (Telling me how to be an administrator) Biopic of the Week When we carried our knuckle-dusters and brick-filled socks to the talk page of new user Equilateralperil this past week to interview him, we were amused and perplexed to see him employ the classic defensive stance of a painfully shy, abused opossum. Rolling into the fetal position on the ground with his buttocks in the air, he began to reveal embarrassing personal details in a shrill voice, shouting "Have a field day, you scamps! Yes, mock me harder!", apparently hoping that we would walk away in disgust. However, to assume that reverse psychology would work on Uncyclopedians is to give them credit for having something that they don't, namely, a psychology. Some of the details which he will now regret ever having shared: Equilateral (that's what we call him for short, when we don't call him Bitch) is a 17-year-old schoolboy living in Victoria in Australia, is at the "top of his class" in multiple subjects, and is on his school's debate team. As he is on his school's rock band, jazz band, and "show" band, we are forced to assume that his school, like the one from Glee, is filled to the brim with people wearing matching plaid shirts, bow ties, white vests, and straw skimmers, who are all horrifyingly perky and prone to breaking into song (or dance) for no apparent reason—especially when the occasion does not require it. He claims to have had one girlfriend, who was Japanese and broke his heart. He refused to supply nude pictures of her, so we are forced to conclude that she is imaginary. For Christmas, he claims he received a "charcoal Italian moleskin jacket", which he is apparently wearing at this moment, over his Casper-the-Ghost™ footie pajamas. So there you have it! From our experience, Equilateralperil is most likely his school's Designated Punching Nerd, and spends most of his spare time pulling his poodle-haired head from toilets, when he isn't writing excellent articles for Uncyclopedia. While he's on holiday in Perth or Canberra or someplace, do give them a read. Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Uncyclopedian's Song This space left intentionally penis.

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 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Wed, Jan 2 '13 13:26 (UTC)

Name change, how does that work?

I wanted to change my user name officially to just "Aleister" but have procrastinated. What would that do to my edit history, user page, etc. Would it change everything at once, or would I have to copy and paste some stuff? And I tried to create a new account as Aleister, but it says the name is already taken although when I try to log in as Aleister (I may have already done this) it says their is no user by that name. So chains for the moment until this gets cleared up. Aleister 12:58 3-1-'13

Do you own the account "Aleister" that was used on de.uncyclopedia? If so, and if you can still log into it, I can give you the name here. All your edit history and so on would transfer to the new account, so that's not a problem.

Although Uncyclopedia has a different user database from the rest of Wikia, we still consider a name "taken" if it's registered in either place. It's just so someone can't pretend to be another user by registering the same name on the other database. But if you own the de.uncyc account, I can reconcile them. If not, maybe you can go for another variation? -- sannse (talk) 19:19, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

Ah, that must be it, someone probably has it in another wiki. Thanks anyway, I get by with the rd. Of course there is lots more to talk about in other areas, another time and over some green tea perhaps. Aleister 20:30 3-1-'13

Well, it's over.

I've got some free time and I always wanted to feel important and be a big-and-buff admin. Can I get that status now that everyone else has left, and I'd be the only one around to manage the site? →A (Fallen Reich)_{17:48 5 January 2013}

Sannse, although we all love you, nobody wants to talk with you. You're from Wikia. We don't give a rat's ass about Wikia anymore. Which is, oddly, as Frosty so nicely pointed out, why we're moving. It's your rules we don't like. And now you're even trying to rule over our departure from your wretched company? Not happening.

Trying to match those two statements together. Are you sure you don't have Dissociative Identity Disorder? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 03:26 06 Jan

Isn't there a page or something around here for voting in new admins? I'm sure I saw one, somewhere... -- sannse (talk) 05:11, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

Do we have any admins who are staying around? --Mn-z 13:41, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

Yes to that answer Mnbvcxz. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:16, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm going to Road Warrior the shit out of this place. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 15:08, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

Sannse, I have a short, impulsive temper :) But yeah, since you could make people admins....and honestly like four people are going to be here. So very few people to maintain the entire site. I'd like to be one of the people who flips between sites, and has the ability to maintain our reputation. →A (Fallen Reich)_{22:55 6 January 2013}

It's great to see you'd like to be a part of the administration of this site, but as Sannse very plainly said, we have a page for voting for new admins. It has something to do with being in a sandwich. If Wikia ever started to just arbitrarily decide to appoint admins - ignoring the will of an active community - then there'd be a shitstorm. If you want to become an admin then suggest at VFS that we need new admins, and then wait ands see if you're nominated, and then wait to see if you're voted into the role. In the meantime, start looking or ways to actually act like an admin - patrol recent changes and put forward pages to be deleted, revert vandalism, welcome n00bs, pee review articles - but the most important part of being an admin - wear a sign on your back that says "kick me". Because being an admin is effectively asking for everyone to start treating you like scum of the Earth, and accepting abuse for being a glorified janitor.

If you want support in your quest to become an admin, I'm happy to metaphorically stick your head in a toilet and flush it repeatedly at any given stage. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:37 06 Jan

What Puppy said. Minus the bits about sticking your head in a toilet. I wouldn't do that, even metaphorically. Especially not with all the rumors that you have a short, impulsive temper -- sannse (talk) 00:01, January 7, 2013 (UTC)

Page Moves and user rights

If I am not mistaken, there was a page-move limit for regular users when I left. Was that removed, because it appears that a recent vandal was page move vandalizing rather quickly. --Mn-z 13:53, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

The term for that is "throttling" if I'm not mistaken. --Mn-z 22:07, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

Humm... yeah... looks like we'd need to set a rate limit. I don't see an old one removed, but maybe I'm not looking far enough back. Anyway, we can put one in place. I'm not fully confident in setting it without getting it checked though (I'm pretty good at missing out the bit of the code that means it doesn't blow up half the office) but I'll find someone to help me with it. In the mean time, perhaps a forum to decide exactly what rate you all want? It needs to be high enough to let genuine people do enough moves, but low enough to slow vandals. For example, you could allow 5 moves per minute, or 2 moves per 30 minutes, and so on. You can also set a different rate for newbies (and for IPs, except they can't move pages anyway) --- sannse (talk) 06:47, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

I remember it being 2 moves a minute or some similar rate. A larger move rate over a longer time frame might make more sense. I think it should be removed for rollback and above, since rollbacks can already suppress redirects. --Mn-z 07:06, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

Since there is already a 'cooling period' for new users, perhaps the multiple page moving rights should be made longer. So if we can extend that, it will help the site considerably. The vandalism was done by two users who had made accounts and remained dormant until the triggering their bot (or what ever it was). --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:59, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

I think this forum could be combined with the one for VFS as that will decide on admins for this site only. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:10, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

That is kind of a separate issue though. From what I can tell, the page move throttle was removed by accident. Then again, I wasn't active when it was removed. --Mn-z 08:12, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

I'd say it's a separate issue, but it's probably one that the admins should decide in consultation with the community, and that might be best when there's more admins. Maybe for now Romartus and the Chief can just decide on a number that feels about right, and we can see how it goes -- sannse (talk) 22:32, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

Hi Sannse, The Chief agreed with Mnbvcxz here and I can agree with that too for now. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:07, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

There was a suggestion after that for 10 per 10 minutes... shall I set that instead? Let me know on the forum -- sannse (talk) 00:57, January 15, 2013 (UTC)

Suicide

Hi Sannse, following a brief discussion on Romartus' talk page about the counselling phone numbers on articles like HowTo:Commit Suicide I have made an addition to the article, at the bottom under external links. Is that an acceptable change? I felt that it does the appropriate job without being too in your face. Let me know if that's acceptable. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 13:22, January 15, 2013 (UTC)

I would prefer it being the first thing people see... but this was always a (somewhat personal) request rather than a requirement, so I'll take what I can get ;) Thanks Chief -- sannse (talk) 20:18, January 15, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you

For this and the following edit. Much appreciated. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:34 21 Jan

Signatures with external website links

Just a quick question. Is there a policy where someone's sig can link to or advertise their own non-wikia website? See here User_talk:Romartus under the heading 'talk VFS'. Check the sig of User:Madclaw. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:12, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

We consider it spam. We'd ignore it if it were an unrelated personal site, say a personal facebook page. But if it's an advert for a commercial site (tripadvisor or something) or a facebook (or similar) page advertising another site, then it's not OK. And we particularly consider it a problem if it's linking to a wiki that forked from Wikia, or another one of our esteemed competitors. Hope that helps -- sannse (talk) 18:39, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Well Phooeeyy, this makes me a sad Madclaw, or a Sadclaw if you will. Madclaw @ ^talk 18:53, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Then I shall be a Sannsad that you are a Sadclaw :( -- sannse (talk) 19:02, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Sannsad sounds like an amazon sumo bodyguard for Syrian dictator Assad, are you sure you wan't to be seen as such? Madclaw @ ^talk 19:24, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Hell yeah, that would mean I'd have to put on weight. Instead of being a stereotypical dieting fat pleasantly plump woman. Show me the pie! -- sannse (talk) 19:51, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

3.1415927… oh, sorry. My mistake. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 09:49 24 Jan

This Pie is no lie

Sannse asks for Pie, Madclaw provides! Dear Sannse enjoy your Bea Arthur Pie my dear!! Madclaw @ ^talk 14:44, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

Wow, that's... scary. Thanks! -- sannse (talk) 21:27, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

Verification

Hey, sannse. It's Sir Peasewhizz from the IRC. This is my message confirming myself.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 04:08, January 27, 2013 (UTC)

DMCA Takedown notice

Apparently, an old image of File:Hamburger.jpg was removed due to a DMCA takedown notice. However, the image was a hamburger, and has not been used in almost 6 years since a new version was uploaded. I really could not care less that it is deleted, but I'm wondering if that was an error. With all the tenuous fair-use claims on this wiki, I'm surprised someone had an issue with THAT image of all things. On a related note, this does show one advantage of being hosted by a evil large corporation. --Mn-z 14:25, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

Dittos; what happens when the Fork receives its first DMCA notice? do they flip the sender the bird and announce that they are on a crusade against corporatism? If the offending image is not the most recent version, then it should be removed from the history, and any newer, legal version should survive. Or let's just upload something new that is suitable. Spıke ¬ 14:39 29-Jan-13

PS--Could other Wikia staff be asked to notify us of such decisions to delete, such as in the Forum Sannse opened for obscene photos? This would let us react more smoothly than simply having photos disappear. Spıke ¬ 14:42 29-Jan-13

The image is a non-issue. We have a newer, non-offending image, which replaced the offending in the edit history back in 2007. In other words, the offending image ONLY occurred in the history of another image. This is probably the least important takedown notice in the history of takedown notices.

Regarding notification, the deleting person (or bot?) left a message in the huff log. --Mn-z 14:50, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

So what happens with DMCAs at Wikia: we get a takedown notice, we check it's all legal and correct, then we remove the image (we don't have a choice here, legally speaking). Then there's a chance for you (or the uploader usually, as they should know the source) to send a counter notice. We check if that's all legal and correct, then we replace the image (again, all clearly set out in law). Then it's up to the person complaining and the person uploading to fight it out in a cage, with hammers and hand-held sharks the courts. There's bits in the official notices that make it more dangerous for the uploader to falsely send in a counter notice than it is for the complainant to send in a fake DMCA. This is because politics.

Anyway, in this case, as Mnbvcxz says, it's a minor one that won't need any sort of counter notice, but it seemed a good time to explain the process.

Semanticdrifter isn't a bot btw, just the guy that deals with most notifications, and so who has a standard summary explaining them. I've checked the takedown notice, and the deleted file, and yep... that's the one they wanted removed. Weird.

As for the fork, I can't comment on that - it depends on how they are hosted and stuff. I know we get (most) notices directly, but I don't know how that works for other sites -- sannse (talk) 18:26, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, and on the request for us to notify - I'm afraid it's as Mnbvcxz said (he keeps saying stuff) it's in the log, and while I understand the desire for more explicit notification, that'll have to do... I don't want to add extra steps to a process that we really need to be swift so we can move on to other stuff that needs to be done -- sannse (talk) 18:31, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

I'm still giggling over Semanticdrifter being referred to as a bot. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:36 29 Jan

I checked the page at FreeUncy and it looks like the pic is of some fast-food chain's cheap product, and their shame on people seeing it probably made them ask for its removal. Or an anal lawyer making a few thousand dollars in billable hours by having his kid look for pics of their product here. Aleister 22:42 29-1-'13

If the chain's trademark is in the photo, it's unsurprising that they don't want us using it to lampoon them or ridicule their customers. But we do have an article on most fast-food chains and we do use their trademarks, with a claim of Fair Use. My query about how this is handled at the Fork--which the chain must pursue next--is of course something Sannse can't answer; it's rhetorical, by way of again noting that Wikia does stuff for us that must be done in order to operate a website in the lawsuit-happy USA, and I hope but do not expect that the Forkers thought of the problems they might be taking on by going rogue. However, to Sannse's nice way of saying that Wikia does not have the time to tell us explicitly before yanking stuff out of our photo gallery: It really should make time. Spıke ¬ 22:55 29-Jan-13

Re notification: Storm meet teacup. Wikia are obliged to remove content based upon a DMCA takedown notice that has merit. Because of the way DMCA is written they have to do it immediately.

This particular issue (the hamburger) has almost no impact on this wiki. Starting a forum on “We've taken down an image that is in the history of one image page and used nowhere else” would be overkill. On more substantially impacting complaints they have received in the past they have raised the issue to the community.

Re the fork's response: I don't know if they have received a similar takedown notice, but it'd put their cabal in a similar position. Acting on it immediately and taking down the image keeps them out of potential protracted and expensive lawsuits. It's a risk v reward measure.

The intelligent response would be to take it down. They don't have the capital to fight it as a legal battle.

But that relates to only this particular request. As Sannse said, they look at the merit of a takedown notice before acting. If it were frivolous then choosing to not act on it is well within their rights. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:10 29 Jan

Keep in mind that the full extene of my legal knowledge comes from Boston Legal episodes. If Alan Shore didn't mention it, I don't know. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:14 29 Jan

Actually, as fair use has been mentioned, I'll go on a bit about that too. Although, similarly to PuppyOnTheRadio, my legal knowledge mostly comes from episodes of Star Trek. Consider that fair warning

The thing about fair use, is that it's a defense not a right. So images used as fair use can still be removed by the DMCA process. If it's a valid notice, we need to take it down, even if the image seems likely to be legitimately under fair use. But that's where the counter notice can come in, the uploader sends in a counter notice, and the image goes back up. Then, if the person who sent the original notice wants to fight it out further, it goes to court - and that's when the defense of "fair use" comes into play. So you can see that claiming fair use can actually be pretty difficult and potentially expensive. But on the other hand, it's pretty unlikely to go that far, and in most cases it's easy enough to find a alternative image anyway -- sannse (talk) 19:05, January 30, 2013 (UTC)

I would also like to point out, that, in the case in question, we would have no possible fair-use defense, as we aren't using the image anywhere. Also, one is not obliged to protect copyrights, but only trademarks. Copyrights and patents are "property" in a sense that trademarks aren't. In theory, one can ignore a copyright violation for literally 100 years, and then file a DMCA takedown notice. --Mn-z 14:39, January 31, 2013 (UTC)

Also, if someone were to win a copyright lawsuit over fair use, the fair use right would only apply to where the image was being lawfully used. If someone were to add such a image to their userpage, then the copyright holder could launch another copyright claim. --Mn-z 18:42, January 31, 2013 (UTC)

Regarding Spike's question of what the fork would do in a similar situation, this forum topic over there might shed some light on the issue. --Mn-z 20:41, February 5, 2013 (UTC)

To quote one of the Fork's luminaries (who was nominated for Admin here): "We should just give a traditional "Fuck you" to anyone who dares bring a lawsuit against us." Life is so easy when you reject reality. Profit might be an awful basis for creative writing, but people are going to find out that Loss is even worse. Spıke ¬ 21:04 5-Feb-13

Question

I heard there is/was a way to completely delete/destroy one's user account and contributions entirely. Like nuking an entire account. Is that still possible? →A (Fallen Reich)_{03:45 3 February 2013}

No. Anyone can choose to stop using an account, but (as shown on the fork) once anyone has made a contribution to have released it under NC-BY-CC-SA licence. (Although the licence may differ from wiki to wiki.) What the contributor chooses to contribute is governed by that licence as soon as it's submitted. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 05:32 03 Feb

Not what I meant, Pup. I meant if someone could "delete" an Uncyclopedia account. I was told it was possible by EMC. →A (Fallen Reich)_{20:32 3 February 2013}

I would imagine it is not possible for you to "delete" your account, since your account is shown in the history of all the pages you have contributed to. If the account were deleted it would have to be removed from there. Out of interest, why do you want to get your account deleted? --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 21:35, February 3, 2013 (UTC)

What is possible is that one can rename one's account. Their contributions would remain intact but reflected under a different name. That's what I've done at the fork. The other thing is remove the email address from preferences and scramble the password. That's what Hyperbole did (accidentally) with his account. But either option is fairly useless. Contributions remain intact. There's a difference between pseudonyms and real names, so it doesn't identify as you. At best the outcome is a momentary confusion. At worst after this has been done the contributor cannot reclaim that old identity, even if they want to.

If EMC is aware of another option then he can do that on the fork. But given it's a fairly futile exercise, as Chief asks, why would anyone want to? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:33 03 Feb

Basically... what Pup said. We can change your nick, or disable your account by removing your email address and password, but that's it. Otherwise you have that confusion of contributions with no account attached -- sannse (talk) 22:15, February 4, 2013 (UTC)

Question unrelated to the above Nuking question.

Hey there dude- I've been off the site for a while and that makes me feel sad inside (of course it does) and I'm working on coming back- and then I get an email from this yokel named 'Bizzeebeever' about how there is a new Uncyclopedia- what is the f-ing deal...? I mean- yeah I haven't been around but what up with that? -- Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 22:41, February 6, 2013 (UTC)

Hi, I'm guessing you mean via the Uncyclopedia user mailing system? Well that makes me sad inside too. If possible, could you forward the mail to me at community@wikia.com please?

On the fork, if you look on the Dump you'll see all the history there. But it's totally uncool for Bizzeebeever to have used this site to contact you about it (did you notice the Dude-speak I slipped in there?). Anyway, I'm going to turn off the email functionality for this wiki for now... hopefully I'll be able to turn it back on later -- sannse (talk) 00:40, February 7, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, make sure there is NO WAY for him to find out about the new site. That will prevent anyone from finding it. Good work. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Feb 7 '13 2:10 (UTC)

As the Chief Justice has now implemented a more targeted remedy for the duration of the misconduct, you may see fit to switch email back on. Spıke ¬ 10:57 7-Feb-13

Actually, i'd prefer you didn't. Sorry to contradict, but blocking a user does not stop the user sending emails. And a clever user can work around the “one email every 24 hours” restriction. I'd rather not open the gates to spam email. The restriction is minimal, and keeping things in the public domain is my preferred way to do things. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:19 07 Feb

Let's see how things are after a week or so. Anyone who really wants to talk via email, can still do so without Wikia of course, it just means exchanging email addresses directly -- sannse (talk) 21:18, February 7, 2013 (UTC)

One quibble: Preventing users from initiating unsolicited contact with other users might be appropriate now, but in the case of consenting users, the block also forces one of them to publish his email address, typically on one of these very public pages. Spider 'bots surf wikis and scoop up anything with an @ in it, and it's daily spam from then on. So it's not a matter of "just" exchanging addresses. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 21:30 7-Feb-13

PS--Anon has edited Terms of Use (one grammar correction, one cynical comment on the value of the articles). Spıke ¬ 21:33 7-Feb-13

I know it's not perfect, but they can (for example) jump on to a chat and exchange addresses in PM.

I see the ToU page got reverted, but you know those aren't the real ToU, right?... -- sannse (talk) 01:05, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

Ahem Um, sure. Knew it all along Spıke ¬ 14:21 9-Feb-13

There is a link to the actual terms of use below the articles, at the bottom left of every page. There is also a link to the contact info for our webhost. The fork, however, contains no real contact information, but rather cracks wise with fake navigation tools. --Mn-z 14:35, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

And you know I hate that. Spıke ¬ 14:46 9-Feb-13

Although, to be fair, you don't hate it nearly as much as someone trying to file a legitimate DMCA takenotice will. --Mn-z 16:28, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

Touché. And the consequences of taking issue with a preference of mine are minor by comparison. Spıke ¬ 16:36 9-Feb-13

Although, the guy filing the DMCA might be laughing all the way to the bank for all I know. --Mn-z 16:38, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

I assume that the particular corporation involved pay someone to trawl through images online in order to give DCMA notices. He probably gets paid as a corporate lawyer. In which case he earns money by looking a photos of burgers all day. Nice sinecure if you can get it. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 09:59 09 Feb

Parser change

It looks like most of the main project pages is broken, including the main page. That would seem to imply a parser change. --Mn-z 07:07, March 2, 2013 (UTC)

I tried reverting Romartus's last edit to the featured article queue, in case it had a typo; that didn't work. I can't debug this further. Spıke ¬ 15:18 2-Mar-13

It appears the issue is with <DPL> queries. For instance, have a look at User:PuppyOnTheRadio/image. As that uses pure DPL to generate that page, that suggests to me that's where the issue lies. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 03:41 02 Mar 2013

Separately (or maybe not), something is bollixing up BB's Java buttons that let me patrol multiple edits with a single keystroke; I am two days behind at this. Spıke ¬ 15:53 2-Mar-13

It looks as though the issue with <DPL> queries has resolved, but may require a purging of pages that are still impacted. I just tested User:PuppyOnTheRadio/image and as of 5 seconds ago - after I purged - it's now working again. As for the script - it looks like that is also working again, but haven't had a chance to fully test it. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:31 04 Mar 2013

I am back to normal as well. It would be nice to know what happened. Spıke ¬ 22:37 4-Mar-13

Hi guys. Yes, the problem was with DPL. We've had some issues over the last few days, which either meant error messages when pages loaded, or problems with Javascript (and a few other effects as well). During all this, we had to make server changes, that put more strain on the site. And to help reduce that, we had to turn off DPL for a while. So all in all, it was what we in the business call "an unpleasant weekend". Everything seems to be back to normal now and, of course, our techy guys are figuring out exactly what happened and how to make sure it doesn't again. Sorry for the problem all -- sannse (talk) 00:47, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, also, we generally post to twitter and facebook if we can't post on the wiki (which, at times, we couldn't). We also have a Skype channel that's open to regular users, and is a good way to find out quick info to take back to your wiki. Let me know if you want me to add you there -- sannse (talk) 00:49, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

As posted elsewhere, I drove down to the Public Library on Saturday in case some of the problem was my Internet connection, but hit youse at the depths of the outage. I think Simsie said she noticed the problems too. Email is the best way to contact me--not saying you need to whenever a problem arises, though if the site were to go down for a whole day, I wish you would. Spıke ¬ 01:27 5-Mar-13

This was an irritating one, because we were never "down" (or not for more than a short time), but various people in various areas had more or less problems. That's why we try to have the central places for updates: w:c:community:Blog:Wikia_Technical_Updates on-wiki (although, looks like we could have updated that more quickly) and twitter and facebook off-wiki. Personally, I wanted the chip-in-every-user's-head option, but someone pointed out that if we had technical issues with those, it could get... messy. I don't understand why though, my Wikia chip is still working perfectly! -- sannse (talk) 18:31, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

I'm already having issues with my Geocities and Alta Vista chips conflicting. Another chip may be overkill.(Psst… what's the twitter account?) Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:36 05 Mar 2013

Simsilikesims reports on my talk page that a comparable malfunction is still seen at the BHOP section of the Forum. Spıke ¬ 04:02 6-Mar-13

If you purge any pages that have these issues still (like http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Forum:BHOP?action=purge ) that'll kick them back into working order. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 06:39 06 Mar 2013

Content warning borked?

Hi S, the content warning seems to be broken on Chrome (approving it doesn't do anything) while it works fine under IE shell. Can you check? Also, Hi Sannse, how has you have has been? ~ 12:27, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

Mordilly! it's great to see you. All's good for me, I got a dog. How's Mrs Mordilly and the Dilliroos? (are there Dilliroos? My memory is like a goldfish)

I just downloaded Chrome, and the button works for me, which is confusing. Could you try one of the unchanged warnings like http://gpabars.wikia.com - does that show the same problem? If you are using an over version of the browser, you may want to update it, that can cure JS problems. Either way, let me know what you see, and we'll try to figure it out -- sannse (talk) 19:39, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

Also check browser security settings. If cookies are disabled that may impact on this as well. (Although I have no idea how to check that on Chrome. Never had any reason to block cookies.) I've also tried to replicate and had no problems. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 07:45 08 Mar 2013

Just checked this on my Google Chrome and didn't have any problems either. Do you have javascript enabled in Google Chrome? -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:39, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

Well shit, I know ya`ll just pressed the button that turned that thing off, as everything works just fine a dandy. I'm allowing cookies and JS, so no idea what happened. I'll let you know if this happens again, could be something to do with my work IT Security policy that blocks certain services that interfere here. Also, Sannse, Mordilla says hi back, one Dillon at this moment (and he's more than enough for now!). I'm already training him with the banstick, he seems to be doing fine with the kids at the creche, pretty soon he'll be ready for real nasty trolls! ~ 13:47, March 10, 2013 (UTC)

Excellent! I know he'll grow up to be as vicious and scary an admin as his father. No... wait... am I confusing you with Famine? -- sannse (talk) 19:09, March 11, 2013 (UTC)

You are indeed confusing me with Famine and his eldest son, Pestilence. ~ 14:53, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

Added element to content warning

While we're arguing over the content warning (again) I had an idea. At the moment the content warning doesn't appear to logged in users. Unless someone is a regularly logged in user though, they'll have no idea about that. Are we able to establish a link from the content warning that has a two part element that will:

• Establish an agreement to the CW and,
• Send a person to the log-in/register screen with a return to whatever page they landed on when entering?

This way we can have an explanation that they can dismiss the content warning by creating an account or logging in, but keep them navigating towards wherever they were. This also helps promote Wikia account creation, which will encourage people to return to the site more regularly.

It's a rough idea, but it should be doable. (As far as I can see the acceptance of the CW adds a cookie to the user's browser. Adding another link to an acceptance button that is not just returning to the page they came should be easy. I wouldn't use this to replace the current button, but as a third option.) Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:53 10 Mar 2013

Interesting thought.... I think the best thing is for me to send the idea over to the people who decide on such things, and see what they think. There might be ways to hack it in, but possibly a neater solution could be coded (although, such questions can take a while to get back). I definitely think keeping it relatively simple is important but, as you say, this might be a good way to encourage that log in -- sannse (talk) 19:12, March 11, 2013 (UTC)

Image Removal

Received an alert that this pic File:Spart03.jpg from Spartacus:Gore and Nudity was violating something or other. It is a scene in the TV show (I know, I have watched it). Since the article was to poke fun at the show, the picture was to show the regular coupling and orgy scenes. Or was it the boob grab that was a problem?? --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:47, March 14, 2013 (UTC)

UnBooks:Where do babies come from?

Most of the images from this page have been deleted. It's being marked as a ToU vio. These images are all from a children's book by WP:Per Holm Knudsen. There is no way to substitute for these images. As a result it's destroying a featured article and previous PLS winner. Are we able to restore these images? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 08:28 15 Mar 2013

Simsilikesims has spent tons of time this afternoon trying to sew up the holes ripped in many Uncyclopedia articles, including one of Romartus's, based on a TV show, that is now on VFH. Is Wikia's position still that there is no time to inform us of these deletions and the reasons for them, much less to give us a chance to censor or adapt them before they disappear, as you used to do? (PS--"Children's books" from Denmark are only sold here in mysterious shops with wrapping paper on the doors and windows, and in certain convenience stores but they are behind the cashier.) Spıke ¬ 20:37 15-Mar-13

What the unmentionable unmentionables?? Something is wrong here. Those images were not set for deletion, I'm sure of it. I don't understand it yet, but this is not intentional. Gah! This is where I'm seriously limited by being all staff-like and stuff... please insert some very annoyed words here! -- sannse (talk) 23:58, March 15, 2013 (UTC)

OK, there's three that I can't undelete, and I can't work that out right now (I've really got to go <somewhere other than at this computer>). Again, I'm sorry about this... we'd worked out a process for these (and I had put a load on hold until I had time/inclination to go through that process) and this wasn't it. I'll be doing some testing over the weekend to find out what exactly happened -- sannse (talk) 00:43, March 16, 2013 (UTC)

I can restore the images from off-site versions. If you can dredge up the page history (without images) I'll re-upload them. (Assuming that's all kosher). Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:06 16 Mar 2013

I see that it has been fixeded. Never mind. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:09 16 Mar 2013

New content warning

I'll install the voted-on content warning at the top of the hour. Please confirm that it's working if you are near a screen. Spıke ¬ 00:56 27-Mar-13

We've gone from the most interesting content warning on the net to the most boring content warning on the net. Aleister

It does have clouds! I trust your message means you can see it. So can I, only for the minute it takes the cloud photo to arrive, it is white on very light blue (and if it were not for my local CSS, it would be white on white).

I'm definitely happy to see the storm clouds gone - and perhaps the element of humor can grow over time... in a not-too-distracting-and-difficult-to-click-through way -- sannse (talk) 19:08, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

Censored iconic photograph

Now here is a problem which you should bring to your board, or to Jimbo Wales, or to your "new" CEO who probably never posted here - why would you remove the pic of the child who had just been napalmed in Vietnam and tore off her clothes? That is one of the most iconic photographs of the Vietnam War. The chop of the photo had a large American attack plane seen as skidding towards the children, yet it was made very well and portrayed one of those "pictures worth 1000 words". Now, did Wikia remove it because it's a naked picture of a little girl? Removing this work of art, this iconic photo (did it win a Pulitizer? I'm not sure but it may have), may be a new low of this censorship policy. And I'd like a longer answer than your standard answers to me which usually take the tone of "Oh Aleister!" Thanks. Aleister 1:09 27-3-'13

For the record, I saw Sannse's request and I deleted it. As I noted in the same Forum, the nudity was gratuitous to the point of the photo, showing a jetliner chasing people on the ground. Spıke ¬ 01:17 27-Mar-13

"Sannse's request" are the key words here. This is much more than a jet chasing people on the ground, it is a chop using an iconic photograph and adding a layer of terror onto it - that picture should be featured and honored and not censored. This needs a forum here too, coming right up.Aleister 1:30 same day

Wow. You are taking down a Pulitzer Prize–winning photograph claiming it's "porn"? Oh boy. That's the funniest thing I have seen on "Uncyclopedia" for some time. It was featured on the front page of the New York Times, got a Pulitzer Prize and was chosen as the World Press Photo of the Year for 1972. Yet it's "porn". Ohhhhh. boy... MrN  Fork you! 22:26, Mar 27

It's not about the image itself, or even the nudity alone... it's about using a picture of a naked burning child for a few laughs. That's something I'm not comfortable with. -- sannse (talk) 19:04, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!

April 9th, 2013 • Issue 181 • Voted best newspaper of Uncyclopedia: 2010, 2011 and 2013.

Pissing About By Brother ScottPat What most of you have been reading the past few weeks. It has been noted recently that there has been a huge decrease in the number of pee reviews made each week. Before some hard-work pissing a few days ago there were still pee reviews from November 2012 left to review. This has made many uncyclopedians unhappy that their work isn't being pissed on by other more experienced and toilet trained uncyclopedians. Remember that if you want to have your article reviewed then you must first review someone elses. There has been an influx of noobs joining these last five months and many of them would love help on how to improve their articles and help on how to make them funny. Many noobs such as Dannyboy and Anton199 have been struggling to produce good-quality articles and have required information from admins and a few others that their articles are bad or not funny but they are not being told the specifics and how to improve the articles. The general message that Uncyclopedia and Unsignpost want to put out is stop day dreaming and start "pissing about." Get on the pee review page and write a few reviews every week. Even upload some articles to be reviewed. By doing this we can turn the Pee Review page from a stagnant wasteland of tripe into a growing community with bonds of friendship being made between the reviewers and the writers (yeah right!). Just piss a bit more please. The same situation applies to the Votes For Highlight page which sees its usual voters ever week however the number of regular visitors and contributors to the VFH page is not enough for the articles there to get high enough votes to either fail or pass being features. When you visit that page please try to vote for and/or against on as many articles as you can so that everyday can have a new article featured. Recently on the VFH page we have seen the articles Thainglish and Modus ponens go through to pass the test. However these were featured a few days ago and are likely to be up for a week. Contenders for the next featured article seem to be Flag Burning Amendment(5/2), UnNews:A-bombs dropped on Japan awarded Nobel Peace Prize(5/0) and Capitalism: in grammar(5/1). Article 2 By Nobody Look at the blankness of the article. Nobody is writing this article this week as nobody has contributed. Apparently somebody's excuse for not contributing was that nobody had done it already which really isn't a valid excuse. Somebody encourages others to write in this space the next time UnSignpost is released so that nobody doesn't have to do it again. Nobody has been writing the last three month's UnSignposts after all. Anyway back to the point. Nobody would like to point out that recent events in the news such as the war against the other uncyclopedia websites with the April Fools prank which admitedly nobody knows anything about but somebody may be able to tell you more on that story. Also Magaret Thatcher, the role model, has died so Uncyclopedia is looking for someone to write a funeral song for her to be played at that glorius moment. I mean glorious in that we can celebrate her awful policies in politics - awfully good policies that is. The last and only entry we have received so far was, UnTunes:Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead however sadly this was banned and deleted by wikia authorities before we got the chance to hear it.

Check out these pages! Monopoly (game) Philosophy UnScripts:Our Town UnBooks:Robin Hood (2012 short story by Julian Assange) HowTo:Get back to London if you suddenly find yourself in France penguin club penguin UnSignpost Reviews "It was amazingly bad." "I can't believe they call this a newspaper." "It's awful[ly good]" Biopic of the Week Dannyboy1209, might be new and a bit mischievous, but he is a really nice guy and knows a thing or two about computers and might even be an admin one day. He started recently and wants to try and be a bit of a success. He has had trouble with his first few articles in creating a humour element to them but is working harder now than he ever has before and with the help of a few admins he is going to be producing dozens of featured pages by the week. Newsroom UnTune of the Week UnTunes:Can't Stop Him Now Contributions to UnSignpost Thanks to the recent scandal that UnSignpost has been involved in where half our editors and journalists were sacked after they were accused of hacking into other people's Uncyclopedia accounts we have been left short staffed. Please help in the future by contributing articles to make sure that this newspaper can exist in the quality that it is already in. Thanks you. Please check out the main page of UnSignpost as there is new information there about a change in editors. Contributors: Main Editor and Writer: ScottPat Biopic Contributor: Dannyboy Assistant Image Editor: Aleister

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:34, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Express Delivery...is not available today (just normal delivery)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes

May, 4th 2013 - May the Fourth be with you! • Issue 182 • Sponsered by (and biased towards) the Rebel Alliance.

Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 07:37 21, May 2013

This UnSignpost may be unsuitable for some viewers!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

May, 10th 2013 • Issue 183 • Uncyclopedia set to have a bright future. Sunglasses stocks are running low.

Sir ScottPat CUN VFH UnS (talk) 14:28, May 9, 2013 (UTC)

The UnSignpost has arrived...Quick hide!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!

May, 18th 2013 • Issue 184 • Vandalpedia strikes back! Luckily the Jedi will return.

Sir ScottPat CUN VFH UnS (talk) 16:18, May 18, 2013 (UTC)