User talk:SPIKE

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
  • Please add any new topics at the end to be sure they are noticed.
  • Don't split conversations between pages, for the benefit of future readers.
  • Post to User:SPIKE/UnNews about UnNews and UnNews Audio.

edit Archives

edit Wikipedia:User scripts

We were discussing scripting the other day. Although this doesn't give a solution to the watchlist thingy we were looking at, there may be some scripts in here that you could find useful.                               Puppy's talk page02:19 am 03 Apr 2014

edit File:HETtuna.jpg

This was unused for about three years because a vandal from 2011 (whom Pup has just reverted) deleted an entire section from Political cartoon, which contained that image. Could it be restored, please? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:31, April 3, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:02, April 3, 2014 (UTC)
And thanks for picking up what I missed.                               Puppy's talk page01:03 pm 03 Apr 2014

edit French

Could you protect this page against IPs by any chance? It is a consistent target for receiving un-original French stereotype quotes from what I can only assume to be the same determined anonymous person. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:07, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit Visual editor

Wow!....I think we've got Visual Editor, like Wikipedia! Have you seen that? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:42, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

I know this was directed to Spike but for the wondering ordinary minstrel, what are you refering to specifically? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:45, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
I see it too (second line of buttons at the top of the page). I'll play with this the next time I am on unmetered Internet. Spıke ¬ 11:53 9-Apr-14
Sorry can't see them. Are we talking about the "edit", "ban patrol" etc. buttons? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:55, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
Never mind just seen it! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:00, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
Nothing seems to happen when I click on it. Simply refreshes the page. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:03, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
Do you have Teh JavaScriptz switched on? It might even require Teh Flash. Spıke ¬ 12:35 9-Apr-14
Visual editor seems to work only on mainspace pages (which is a rational thing, as it's supposed to make editing articles easier, without bothering with the wiki formatting), that's probably why you couldn't see it at the beginning. I clicked on it, but it takes a lot of time to load (Wikipedia's VisualEditor also does, so it's not different). If it works, you'll still see the page the way it looks like when it's saved and when you click on something and start editing, it'll just associate the changes directly to it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:35, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
I too see no effect--nor the spinning wheel suggesting that additional stuff is loading. When I "click on something and start editing," I get the old-style edit box. Spıke ¬ 23:54 9-Apr-14
OK, I haven't seen it work here (because of it cannot load) but I tried it once on Wikipedia and it's pretty much how it worked. Maybe it's a bug and they're still going to fix it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:21, April 10, 2014 (UTC)

edit William Riker

Hello spike, Regarding "I believe thumbnails with scaling or caption do not animate", please see the article "Blue Screen of Death" and the GIF "Data can never get past level 2". I used exactly the same code as that GIF (with the other image's dimensions of course, 290px) and it didn't animate. Have no idea why.

Anyways, I think the still image the thumb is showing pretty much sums up what I want it to say anyway.

Regards, Ihasakitler 09:06, April 10, 2014 (UTC)  :)

It's the way wiki parses images. If an image is resized wiki software converts it from the server end to a png type file - which means with animated GIFs you only get the first frame. If the original image size is 320px width (for example), the displayed size needs to also be 320px.
So if you want the file to be displayed at 280px, you need to locally save the file, and use an editor like GIMP or Photoshop (not MS Paint) to resize it with all frames intact, and then re-upload the edited file, and then add it to your page.
The problem there, of course, is that resizing will lose some of the image quality. Because stupid computers are stupid.                               Puppy's talk page09:43 am 10 Apr 2014

edit Where's Puppy?

So that you know what's going on, I'm doing stuff on other Wikia wikis at the moment - most of it with some transferable value back to here. It means my edits are likely to be even less regular than they are now, but method and madness, etc.

What you may not be aware of - a significant number of wikis use user talk pages in a very different fashion. Instead of responding to a thread on the page that it was started on, users respond back on the original poster's page. Which means that if you read a single page you won't understand the conversation. Like listening to half of a phone call.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014 13:12, April 10, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, most definitely that will be done.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014
I'm not too sure how legal it was. Aparently the laws relating to bestiality differ from state to state. The raw meat was a concern for me though.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014
Only on Tuesdays, and you have to book in advance. She accepts Paypal though.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014
So now you understand what I mean about confusing now. The way we use talk pages makes much more sense.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014

Thanks for checking in. That would be the Wikia "message wall" or whatever they call it? I religiously pick up requests for help from newbies and move them (and the inevitable reply) to the newbie's own talk page. With luck, you noticed my post in the middle of your talk page that the Watchgadget bug is solved, and might never have affected any other Uncyclopedian in the first place. Spıke ¬ 14:38 10-Apr-14

Message Walls are different again. They are used more like how we do User Talk here. As for moving stuff to newbies talk pages - only time that becomes problematic is using IP talk pages. I had a message on WP: when I wasn't logged in, telling me they'd reverted my edits to an article. Finally reałised dynamic IP address, so the message wasn't for me. At the same time, the intended recipient is now unlikely to ever see it, as the message banner won't show.                               Puppy's talk page02:55 pm 10 Apr 2014

edit Yaks in Canada

There is a great debate going on in my head right now. I remember how we voted down That time I nearly took a sojourn to Canada while I was being raped by a yak at VFD and remember my reasons for voting to delete it. At the same time, I remember that it was the most original and maybe even the most worthy My sojourn that was deleted. But then I remember that six people voted against it. At the same time, the discussion took place before I started UnBooks:My sojourn, and the outcome could be different if it was now.

And I forgot what the article actually looked like, so I don't know what do. Could you please help, by looking at the article and saying if it could survive in the UnBooks and possibly make it better, or if it's simply not funny, no matter where it is and even with possible polishing? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:09, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

I think you meant to write, "I remember...my reasons for nominating it." If the purpose of your Book is to be funny, rather than a forensic re-creation of a previous frat party at Uncyclopedia where the same exact articles have to appear and contain some of the same text that was typed originally, you might spend the same time writing a new chapter that is even more original and worthy. Spıke ¬ 15:55 14-Apr-14
Funny - I haven't hadn't read this message until now but still wrote a new chapter, which I hope is original and worthy! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:41, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
The deleted article, apart from a "15-foot yak cock" (which offers nice alliteration but no humor) is indistinguishable from one of the ones you have up on VFD, and can't hold a candle to your "Peloponnesia," which braids erudition around its randomness. PS--Another thing I wouldn't waste time on is dealing with 'bot Fnoodle's tagging of articles for using deprecated tags. Spıke ¬ 17:15 14-Apr-14
Why not? I read that if a tag is deprecated, it is probable that it soon won't work on some browsers. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:27, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
I read the yak sojourn you mention Anton, and it's maybe one of only ones I've ever laughed at. Quite clever, actually, and I would have voted a keep on that one. Although the first caption needs the formula mark-up (as does your new addition, which is quite pleasing to the intellect and may gain favor for your book. a book which needs a cover!) Aleister 18:25 14-4-14

edit Accountant

Congratulations for the save and feature Spike. To have an original article on accountants is something Uncyclopedia can feel proud of. I was thinking of writing a Scottish Independence Campaign article to cover the events leading up to the Scottish referendum in 2014. To think that by the end of this year we Brits might be facing a huge change in how we perceive our state (as complicated as it is already) is something I am dreading, especially as an exiled Scot. I think its better to write it up in one big article rather than countless UnNews that I have thought of writing on the subject. Also I'll get round to Mr. Miliband's article at some point too. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:17, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

At some point in researching one of my India articles, I read about India's tendency to react to any civil uprising by creating new states or shifting their boundaries. As your country and mine were organized by pre-existing states with distinct identities, the current news in Scotland is more disturbing than, say, shifting the border between Chihuahua and Coahuila, Mexico. Will persons like you be offered the "right of return"? Spıke ¬ 18:42 14-Apr-14
PS--I would spike UnSignpost:Article/Does_Uncyclopedia_need_more_admins?. Not only is the current vote -1 toward a goal of 5, but the deadline for that phase of voting passed four days ago. Spıke ¬ 18:46 14-Apr-14

Yes it is rather disturbing. The loss of the British identity is most distressing especially for someone like me who is from all over the British Isles. The nations of Scotland and England don't really exist in my view and the view of the majority of people who live in the South East of England, being economic migrants from different places within Britain and the rest of the World, the identity of an "Englishman" is certainly the nomenclature for a white person who is from a particular county/region of England. If Scotland breaks off the word British can still be used but we won't be politically united so we'll have to broaden the meaning of "Englishman". Anyway how Salmond can pull of the trick without any sensible economic ideas is ridiculous. The "No" campaign have everything in favour of them, the last two Prime Ministers were Scottish, Scotland will be financially unstable, Scotland will lose the high up diplomatic position that Britain currently has etc. All we need now is someone who can actually argue back at Salmond because there seems to be no figurehead for the campaign against.

As for the UnSignpost article consider it, as usual, late news. It makes people aware of the situation if people don't know and also points out an absurd factor behind the idea of wanting more admins. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:38, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

edit VFS April

Can you close the vote as "Did not pass round 1", and delete the vote (with link to prev version in history)? Keeps getting added to, and I would prefer that people realise we're post 10th day. Would do it myself, but time poor.                               Puppy's talk page10:07 pm 14 Apr 2014

Remanded to the Chief Justice, who did so. Spıke ¬ 19:52 16-Apr-14

edit Hello

And I am sorry for my long absence! I am back and will start doing the poopsmithing again. Sorry, technical problems didn't allow me to drop by. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 23:55, April 15, 2014 (UTC)

Sounds good! If "technical problems" permit, let us know in advance of future long absences! Nothing that needs your attention right now. Spıke ¬ 00:11 16-Apr-14
It was internet failure, just so you know. It will not happen again, I assure you. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 00:15, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
The internet will not fail again??? You had better write an UnNews! Are you sure you are in Greece? It sounds like Turkey!!! Spıke ¬ 00:19 16-Apr-14

edit Gaza War

I found there wasn't too much to re-write on the article. I gave a satirically biased towards Israel article and rather emphasised the common sense options to resolve the situation. Might need some more humour though. My views on the subject are quite strong and I fear that in some areas they burst through a bit but were not smothered with enough comedy. Please take a look and add where you can. Thanks! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:32, April 16, 2014 (UTC)

I looked in and groaned when I saw you were trying to give the historical background for the war. Jews versus Arabs should be regarded as one of those cases for which, as I recommend in CoW#Extremists, you should steer wide of your own views and of common-sense (that is, real-world) resolution, in favor of more fanciful and absurd interpretations, even randomness. To the point, even a "satirically biased" article is perceived by half of its target audience as not satirical at all. Read User talk:Mctomerd11 for an example. In particular, Adolf Hitler does not belong anywhere near this article: Too serious. Spıke ¬ 19:52 16-Apr-14
Oh I see what you mean. I guess that's a more original take. Might try a re-write of my re-write then tomorrow or sometime soon. Going to sleep now though! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:00, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
I looked in closer just now. The final section (Aftermath) gives me the strong impression someone is trying to sell me one side in a political dispute. I can force myself to see that you are writing with irony, but I cannot separate it from the serious. In particular, there is a question we ought not try to answer on this website — whether the economic differences between Israel and Gaza are the result of racism or of culture — and any informed reader scours even a frivolous or ironic approach to the question to decide which side the author is on.
I hope all this doesn't give you nightmares! Spıke ¬ 20:06 16-Apr-14
Yes, you are too kind, the final section was only my views with hardly a lick of humour. I'll re-write again and eliminate any bias to either side instead just going for humour that isn't satire (so Al on your earlier point, I think this is a comedy website, not just a satire website). Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:50, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
And regarding hardly a lick of humour, reaching out to Mctomerd11 with a passing scolding on how his country should behave will not end well, nor least of all be the basis for a collaboration. Satire is fine; but political commentary with a comic twist — This is what Beck and Limbaugh do on talk radio every hour, for the overt purpose of changing minds.
One section starts: "Due to the genocidal levels of civilian deaths at the hands of the homicidal Jews...." I don't know or care whether you believe this, or believe the exact opposite and this is a twist. It reads like extreme rhetoric (especially to an Israeli like Mctomerd11). Again pointing you to CoW#Extremists, reading "humor" that takes the exact form of a call to jihad is going to be very unfunny to some, and humor only by mechanical transformation to the rest of us. Spıke ¬ 10:46 17-Apr-14
I didn't write that line. My re-write is not finished and I agree that things such as that line are obviously going to offend an Israeli so they should be removed. But commenting on how his country's political dealings should be on his talk page is a point I decided to make to emphasise that he cannot play a race card. Even if we did write a biased article it would be acceptable as long as it had the comedy element. Political comedy is a great way to get across a message but I agree that it should be left out of this article. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:11, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
PS - I would consider the first re-write more a Jon Stewart style than Glenn Beck but I'm sure that's all the same to you! Also I haven't actually finished so you needn't keep pointing out lines I didn't write and telling me they are my work! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:14, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
I didn't say you did write that line but was just offering it as an example. On your comment to Mctomerd11, my point was that such comments seem to make it more likely, not less, that he will play a race card. As for the direction the article should take, we are in agreement. You'll see I have been in (at Sections 1.2 and 2) to make it more whimsical; would you please see what you can do about the following sections, and we'll call it a day? Spıke ¬ 12:18 17-Apr-14

Will do. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:30, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Love reading through the article at the moment however the Attack, Ceasefire and Aftermath sections still need work. I'll have a crack on them now. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:05, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit User:Vance69

Do you think it's a normal userpage? Looks rather suspicious to me, but at the same time I don't think it's spam. On the other note, your vote for Ernest Hemingway probably ended the conflict if there was any! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, April 19, 2014 (UTC)

It is one of the world's userpages, and immediately tag-worthy if it were moved to the encyclopedia. I've greeted him with gentle instructions. Spıke ¬ 21:11 19-Apr-14

edit User:ConCass2/Bottom (TV series)

About the article I wrote, what was it specifically that it was deleted for? Your reason was "it's more of a blog than humour", but that's a bit vague. I assume the article was too positive or something like that, but could you care to be more specific? --188.30.28.63 10:57, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Sure thing.
  1. Began with five quotations.
  2. Had no comedy theme other than to run down the show.
  3. Body of the article was nothing but a list of characters, with more of the same.
In short, you need something to hold the page together other than the quality of your own insults. Also, you are not a registered Uncyclopedian so there is no userspace in which to move it. If you'd pick a user name (and write back, logged-in, so I know who you became), I can give you a copy for further work. Spıke ¬ 11:04 20-Apr-14
I'm currently abroad and don't have my home computer, so I can't make an account for now, but thanks for explaining. --188.30.28.63 11:56, April 20, 2014 (UTC)
Nothing you do on Uncyclopedia is stored on the computer you're using (except a cookie, which is useless after you log out), so you could register now. In any rate, I hope you do so after you return home. Spıke ¬ 14:43 20-Apr-14
It was the email that was stored on my computer, and I needed the confirmation message. Anyway, I've got the account. But could you explain what you mean by "run down"? I don't remember any insults in the page, I just assumed it was deleted because it looked like it was praising the show. --ConCass2 (talk) 13:53, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
Oh, right, there is that. (Also, pages you browse may go into your borrowed computer's cache, to increase speed, unless you clear it out at the end or specify a "private browsing" session.) No, I deleted the page because it looked like you were mostly just insulting the show. It is now in your userspace at User:ConCass2/Bottom (TV series). Please go easy on the initial quotations and reliance on lists! Spıke ¬ 14:19 22-Apr-14

edit Gaza War (Section 2)

Shall we get this up to a feature standard? Then we can (hopefully) get a feature (half point each) and it will also encourage a preservation of the article in its current form so that no one takes it back down the route of racism or verbal attacks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:17, April 21, 2014 (UTC)

What we have already done encourages that. I think the Gaza War has jumped the shark, but I'll check in on your editing. And as predicted, your scolding of Mctomerd11 on how to run his country to satisfy the BBC (and on which British political party to disfavor) had no effect. Spıke ¬ 11:38 21-Apr-14
On the contrary I have given him a view to think about. As I said I was advising him on what another group of people thought on the subject. Not sure how the Beeb would be satisfied but if they care more about people cooperating and having fun in this World rather than selfish isolation causing war then to quote Brown, "I agree with Nick." Do debates really need a winner and a loser in your mind? No one wins or loses a debate, debates just encourage broader reading. I found it most enjoyable and interesting. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:01, April 21, 2014 (UTC)
I might stick it on VFH if its any good after your check through anyway as I think it's quite funny now. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:50, April 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Wish sandwich at VFS

I learned something...http://m.metrolyrics.com/rubber-biscuit-lyrics-blues-brothers.html                               Puppy's talk page11:32 am 21 Apr 2014

Yes, hence the link. Those lyrics refuse to leave my head through the ears, but I don't see them in any of the written lyrics. Spıke ¬ 11:38 21-Apr-14
Personal tools
projects