User talk:Spike

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Archives Spike seasoning
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  • Post to User:SPIKE/UnNews about UnNews and UnNews Audio.

edit James David Manning

Hey you are funniner than me. Can you make a article called James David Manning? Thank you i have information for you down below.PatrickCunningham (talk) 14:32, January 14, 2016 (UTC)


Sorry, I have no interest in writing an article on a YouTube video you saw, nor even in figuring out what you found funny about it, nor even in watching it. You are welcome to do so, provided you can avoid simply pointing your reader to the YouTube but write something original that is funny in its own right. I am working on my State of the Union address. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:36 14-Jan-16

No this man called Obama the long legged mack daddy, son of satan & the antichrist. He called Glenn Beck a crybaby. Ue hates gays & calls himself the sodemite slayer.n:& by the way i gave you wikipedia as well. How can you not make fun of this man?.PatrickCunningham (talk) 14:45, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

I am making fun of him right now. PS--Glenn Beck is a crybaby. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:47 14-Jan-16

Are you serious?PatrickCunningham (talk) 14:51, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

No. I don't listen to him because I am usually not in the mood for manipulative end-of-days sermons. Seems I have heard of Manning. He has said some positive things about blacks pulling themselves out of their situation rather than relying on Al Sharpton. However, I don't want to jump into the middle of the homosexuality issue. That would make Uncyclopedia too much like Wikipedia. I think you don't so much want me to write you some humor as you want me to write you some propaganda. Get to work. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:54 14-Jan-16

Well i do need you to write humor i love humor. But i am not funny.PatrickCunningham (talk) 15:00, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

edit Missing socks

I'm going to try to finish up the article tonight. Should I go through another review process before I move it to the mainspace. Cg097 (talk) 00:49, January 18, 2016 (UTC)

Just noticed I don't have the move function, so I would need at least one user to look at it, regardless of what you say. Cg097 (talk) 00:51, January 18, 2016 (UTC)

I'll look at it now and move it or advise you why not. This would be easier if your post included a link to its page name, rather long if I remember. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:56 18-Jan-16
Now mainspaced; thanks for your rewrite! It is not that you don't have Move, it is that almost no one has it, thanks to our recent vandal. See Forum:Page-move restricted. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:00 18-Jan-16

Sorry for not including the link, and in advance for bothering you again. I thought we had agreed that we should move The Place Where All The Missing Socks Go to Missing socks. I also have some more changes I would like to make. Cg097 (talk) 01:06, January 18, 2016 (UTC)

I cannot find where we agreed to this (again: link please!) but I prefer the shorter name. It is done. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:24 18-Jan-16

"I agree with EStop's choice of page name" Cg097 (talk) 01:39, January 18, 2016 (UTC)

That's better! But, it is done. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:47 18-Jan-16

I saw. Thanks for all your help! Cg097 (talk) 01:48, January 18, 2016 (UTC)

edit Removing picture from Benny Hinn

Hi there, I just wanted to know why you removed my picture from the Benny Hinn page. What can I do to make it better? Benny Hinn (talk) 18:43, January 19, 2016 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia is for original comedy writing, not to catalog or collect funny stuff done elsewhere. This was the case in your illustration, and the caption was more a description than a new twist or new concept. It is the same when authors try to ridicule a celebrity or politician by pointing offsite to "evidence" so the reader can laugh with the author, as opposed to laughing at anything new the author has done. Spıke Radiomicrophone18:47 19-Jan-16
But I made the picture, so it is original. Also, many of the images already on the article are elsewhere on the internet.Benny Hinn (talk) 18:53, January 19, 2016 (UTC)
When patrolling edits to a page, I usually see only the edit and surrounding paragraphs. A revert should not imply that everything else on the page is superior. If you would re-upload it and add a caption that works it into the story or makes a new and clever comedy point, I will let it stand. PS--It need not be 150 kbytes; about one-third of that is the most resolution you will need. Spıke Radiomicrophone19:01 19-Jan-16
Would you consider this caption good enough: "Benny has reclaimed "flipping the bird" to mean flipping the “peace dove.” Here Hinn closes his television program with a symbol of peace." Benny Hinn (talk) 19:16, January 19, 2016 (UTC)
Sure. Again, if you see cruft elsewhere on the page, please fix it. Spıke Radiomicrophone19:17 19-Jan-16

edit Taylor Swift

Seriously, you have never heard of Taylor Swift? She is the one Kanye West interrupted at each of two different Music Awards after she had won an award. She is a famous singer, usually known for country, but cross-over into pop music lately. She is also known for writing songs about her ex-boyfriends. Anyhow, I am still sitting on the fence as to whether to write or judge for the competition. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 09:58, January 23, 2016 (UTC)

Yeah but Spike stays out too late at his baseball games and when he does, he has nothing else on his brain. At least that's what people say, that's what people say. He goes on many dates of the calendar year to watch his baseball games and he can't make the memories of the Taylor Swift conversation he once had stay. Well that's what people say, that's what people say. He just keeps cruising, he can't and won't stop moving to listen in on a conversation about Taylor Swift. It's like he's got this music in his mind saying it's gonna be alright. Cause the baseball players gonna play, and the haters gonna hate, but Spike's just gonna shake all knowledge of Taylor Swift off.
At least that's how I see it but Spike can probably speak for himself. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 13:06, January 23, 2016 (UTC)

Jeezus! Armchair psychology! Anyway, most of the above is true. I know who Swift is, don't think I have a single hit in my 2,709, as I like music that experiments with the notes rather than tells a story (even about an ex), but the funny line is in the Official Entry Form only because it is a funny line (more so because everyone expects it is true). Baseball is out of season; I "pre-poned" the start time because at midnight UTC I was in the fourth set, doing public address for my first-ever volleyball match. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:29 23-Jan-16

Ok, just so you haven't been living in a dug-out cave. (Dug-out is what they call the bench in baseball, right?)
Everyone of course has their own taste in music. My hubby likes early 70's music (like the Eagles and 3 Dog Night), later 70's music (like AC/DC) and we both like certain 80's music. I also occasionally like instrumentals where he doesn't, like jazz music and classical. Neither of us like rap music or use of autotune, though I make rare exceptions such as Beastie Boys and Run-DMC. I listen to lots of different stuff, in fact I have about 10000 mp3 songs on my ITunes, including duplicates, and excluding purchased AAC music files (about 1540, many of which were also converted to mp3) and purchased music videos (62 not including duplicates and files located on my other computer). My collection of mp3's includes an album of Electric Beard experimental music which was made by an Uncyclopedian (who has since left this site). -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 06:15, January 24, 2016 (UTC)
I also have a swift tailor. He's deviously fast on the cuffs and the collar buttons but his garnished undergarments are something to die for. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 09:41, January 24, 2016 (UTC)

Actually, the origin of my quip came when my Sports Information Director asked the basketball player with the cornrows and the pre-game iPod whether he had loaded any "Tyler Swift."

Auto-tune in music, like puns and photos in Uncyclopedia articles, is all right by me unless it becomes the story. I actively edit out studio effects and audio-clip intros by which the artist tries to set the stage for his song (that is, tell a story). A true purist would want no studio equipment, just two microphones and a mixer with only one knob and nothing to mix. In fact, some elements of a hit are recorded off-line and digital re-tuning makes for a better product; what's the problem? My only auto-tune is in software, and the result is awful, though I can increase pitch and tempo together. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:01 24-Jan-16

Most mixers would have either one knob or none, having two is an anatomical achievement that deserves a place in the Guinness Book of World Records. I've not heard of people editing the music they listen to (unless to create a remix) to improve its quality before, it's a nice idea. I for one listen to what other people play when I'm sitting in a room with them. If I start bobbing my head or tapping along then I determine that I enjoy the piece. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 15:33, January 24, 2016 (UTC)

No, my point was that, if you are a purist who wants to hear nothing other than the original performance (or a band that doesn't want to produce any recording it could not reproduce in a live performance), wouldn't you object to mastering a sound, including deciding how loud the individual musicians should be relative to one another? I don't claim my edits improve the quality, but they make what I want to hear more coherent: a song with a memorable theme, as opposed to jams, improvisations, and drum solos. I go further than you, badgering my waiter at the curry buffet to tell me what song just played. (He never knows.) There are still some streaming services that will feed you new music and tell you what you are hearing (I like, although the industry is contriving to squeeze more golden eggs out of them with a regulatory change to the U.S. royalty scheme. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:41 24-Jan-16

Simsie, yes, it is a dugout. The ones I am most familiar with flood out during rainstorms and have rats. I don't spend much time down there, but at an aluminium table formerly occupied by the baseball beat reporters, when the local baseball team used to attract reporters. It now has a teenager on contract to a sports blog. The club dotes on him, as he gives it more publicity than it gives itself, and some of the information splashes onto me. This month I am at the scorer's table in a gymnasium. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:46 24-Jan-16

edit Why did UnScripts talk:Mad Max: Fury Road get deleted?

I asked my question above. Probably should've saved it for here. Now I've got nothing. Except woe. I've got plenty of that. Modusoperandi (talk) 04:16, January 27, 2016 (UTC)

The person who created the page has been a burden on several Admins. Creativegenius2004 means he really is eleven years of age and is using this website to get people to pay attention to him. I have been trying to use restraint but when he admitted during the Super Bowl contest that the only pages that looked like original comedy creations were cribbed from the Mirror Site, in violation of the terms of the competition, I whacked him and nuked his stuff. The talk page did not strike me as a legitimate attempt to improve the page but yet another attempt to get people to talk to him. Spıke Radiomicrophone04:32 27-Jan-16
A burden? Cribbing? On the internet? You don't say! Modusoperandi (talk) 05:59, January 27, 2016 (UTC)
Spike, maybe you should make another policy page, or an essay page, one something like Uncyclopedia:Don't be an attention slut. Nowhere in our existing policies does it prohibit making conversation with others on the talk pages of articles or prohibit asking stupid questions. Traditionally, stupid questions have merely received stupid answers here, or gone unanswered. Plagiarism is, of course, unjustified, but we already have policy about that, and the case of cheating on the contest was clear-cut. But perhaps this talk page should be restored? Moreover, given that Creativegenius2004 is only 11, perhaps a 5 year ban would be preferable to an infiniban if he messes up again, doing something different than he has already done. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 06:45, January 27, 2016 (UTC)
For now, see (or edit) Don't be a pest. in UN:AD. Spıke Radiomicrophone16:49 27-Jan-16
I have restored. I don't see what the fuss is about. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:25, January 27, 2016 (UTC)
Thanks. In the annals of history, your entry won't be all about the cannibalism now. Modusoperandi (talk) 16:45, January 27, 2016 (UTC)

edit User:Un-Yrtneg

I made a rare appearance on the other site's IRC channel, and was asked by this user why he was infinibanned when his other bans were joke bans. Does one instance of vandalism (ie goatseing the main page) justify an infiniban? I recall before the split, he wasn't the first to do this, I remember seeing it one other time done by someone else, who was banned of course, but not infinibanned. The reason I am asking is, it has been 2 years ago that he was infinibanned, and in chat he expressed interest for writing in our writing contest. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 06:45, January 27, 2016 (UTC)

So you encountered, at a location that has pursued many different tactics to make this website fail, a user whose most notable contribution has been to make us fail by replacing our main page with a picture of someone's butthole. But you are swayed by the prospect of getting one more contestant for the writing contest, even at the cost of publishing in the worst possible place the exact method of gaming any future ban, whether rightly or wrongly imposed, along with a precedent that future vandals can cite. Wouldn't a far simpler solution be for you to sign up for the writing contest? Spıke Radiomicrophone11:18 27-Jan-16
Putting that image up is a straight red card Simsilikesims. I agree with Spike on this. We give infibans to others for doing this, non-registered users and those who have made an account. If we don't, any vandal who has done this can ask to be re-activated.--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:53, January 27, 2016 (UTC)
(Although Simsie frequently denies interest in all sports, "red card" translates to "game misconduct.") Spıke Radiomicrophone15:14 27-Jan-16
Fair enough. This is why I asked first, since I was uncertain of the answer, especially given the user in question has now served a 2 year ban. I think I will add a new entry to UN:BAN to clarify the policy. Also, I think I will sign up-for the writing competition, but I won't promise to actually complete the articles, since I am busy 6 days a week except when sleep eludes me. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 11:33, January 28, 2016 (UTC)

edit Exercise

Re: the site notice, I tend to be rather sedentary. I am currently trying to figure out where to go with my article, and which final comedic strategy to go with. I'll try to work on it tonight, since I tend to be better at intellectual exercise than its physical counterpart, but it is currently 10:30pm (just got home from work) so I won't have much time tonight. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 06:28, February 2, 2016 (UTC)

Reps and two-a-days did not mean full-contact tackles but perhaps two edits a day. Spıke Radiomicrophone12:06 2-Feb-16
Hope the commentary went well this afternoon Spike. I'm done with Turnbull, do I need to mainspace it, lock it or anything?  EStop Easy button 21:46, February 7, 2016 (UTC)
No, just stop editing (in about 90 minutes' time). If anyone breaks the rules I'll revert and lock down the article. Then we wait for the judges.
Regarding the sports announcing, I like these people enough to finish the season, but I don't like this job. The public speaking is no problem but, unlike the notoriously slow-paced baseball, volleyball has a minimum of time to collect the data: three minutes between sets, and the coaches not necessarily submitting their serving rotations at the start of that. I cannot transcribe names (and pronunciation advice I solicited before the game) in time. Moreover, while basketball expects and revels in loudspeaker commentary while the ball is live, volleyball announcers are expected to wrap it up while the ball is dead: not enough time to verify by sight the next server and look up his uniform number. My first set of referees asked me to finish talking before the ball is served, but this crew said the rules say to shut up before the whistle to green-light the serve. "It doesn't seem to bother anyone here, but it's something to keep in mind as you move up to Division II or I," something I don't intend to do. (Those are the universities with budgets to attract players with discounted tuition, and with television coverage.) I worked faster after that advice, but was only able to do so because the match was between teams too small to ever substitute. Spıke Radiomicrophone22:10 7-Feb-16

edit Done judging

Where do you want it? Modusoperandi (talk) 03:01, February 9, 2016 (UTC)

I've modified the Official Entry Form at Forum:2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl to allow for your numerical results to be averaged with other judges. See also "Judging" in the Intro on that page, and also my reply to Romartus at the bottom of the page. Please come up with verbal feedback and a numerical rating where 50=best, in order to line up with any other judges who elect to use the Pee Review process for a 50-based rating. Let me know if questions remain. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:25 9-Feb-16
Here. I rated them from best to least best. You can convert the score on the right to whatever (10=50, etc), if you want. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you. Modusoperandi (talk) 04:05, February 9, 2016 (UTC)
That was fine; I've done the conversion. Thanks for serving! Spıke Radiomicrophone04:09 9-Feb-16

edit Mitt Romney

Hey Mitt Romney made money after 9/11. Should we add that to the article?PatrickCunningham (talk) 16:10, February 10, 2016 (UTC)

It sounds as though you have yet another political point you would like to make on this website, rather than a comedy theme you need help elaborating. The page is editable; the worst that could happen is that I will revert you. Spıke Radiomicrophone17:42 10-Feb-16

edit UnNews:Love goes down fast in frenzied trading

Is it going to feature on the news page?  EStop Easy button 18:52, February 11, 2016 (UTC)

I'll sort the second news source.  EStop Easy button 18:56, February 11, 2016 (UTC)

Yes, it is ready to move to the UnNews space. Perhaps wait or keep refining until we are closer to the V.D. weekend? Spıke Radiomicrophone19:05 11-Feb-16
PS--Changed my mind; this is really good. Stays on top through the 14th unless we get a candidate for a side-by-side. Spıke Radiomicrophone19:17 11-Feb-16

I concur, a great article. Have patted UncommonMouse on the back for his input too.  EStop Easy button 19:19, February 11, 2016 (UTC)

edit Patrols

The problem with patrolling Spike, is that I keep wanting to patrol the many red exclamation marks in my outlook inbox. The only cure as far as I can tell, is to become efficient so nothing is ever urgent. Oh and request people clear their desks before the weekend for a change!  EStop Easy button 14:05, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

On patrolling: The Anon at Talk:Jew has gone on for too long demanding that the article be more anti-Semitic as Islam is. New user TheLucarioMan obviously knows his way around, including links to an article in Simsie's userspace and invoking a template that doesn't exist on this website. Replacing the redirect at Color with a new article is all right, though his quotes were crap; prepending to Colour with a view toward rewriting it was inappropriate. Making a big deal of Color vs. Colour is trite by now.
Wikia has now removed code from MediaWiki:Common.js supporting an early method of splicing video into articles; you got my email and supported my move at VFD to delete the two items in Games: that use it with {{Flash}}. But the Wikia guy also commented out two references to JavaScript code in userspace, thereby breaking the widget to make it easier to vote on VFH articles. He told me to copy code into Common.js, but I cannot even View Source of JavaScript in my own userspace. He replies that that is "ticketed for study" and the next thing you know, the Wikia spambot is asking me to rate the quality of service.
The laptop near the propane stove that does email is reporting that there is no hard disk. I got the morning's correspondence before it went down, but now am back on the much more modern UnNews Audio machine you have seen (which I had not switched on in over a week). Two other projects including a Win8 handheld and a ten-year-old stylus computer are doing fine but I haven't switched them on in a while either, and email isn't installed on any of them. The dead laptop was my first experiment at using a CompactFlash chip for the hard disk, and reading the email address book off it will either be quick and painless, or impossible. Everything is backed up on thumbdrive except a sports scorecard blank I had been tweaking.
Regarding Outlook, I have tweaked the user interface of Uncyclopedia so much, with CSS and JS, that it is annoying not to be able to tweak everything else, including the user interface of my car stereo, in the same way. Wikia's continuing JavaScript lockdown removes a big creative outlet as well. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:00 12-Feb-16

I remember the screenshot you sent, I might do a dawn raid on your JS code one of these days. My latest excursion into computer guts has been creating a simple IC, and testing it on a logic simulator. I finished one for a home audio system and would like to build it.

It was a nice puzzle, but fairly straightforward, so pressed on and laid out a simple four bit architecture memory array with read/write and instruction buses. Then a full adder and created a multiplication program, using and gates, clock and a counter, before Malcolm Turnbull came into my life.

It was a good exercise and showed the relationship between binary and hexadecimal base numbers and how machine code actually works within a chip, and why it is all about clock speed. Like the difference between a photograph and movie reel. It also gave a sense of how arduous modern IC design must be. I guess kids do this at school now.

Next leave I'll be planting potatoes.  EStop Easy button 20:25, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

Email is back up on a different machine, though I probably have lost the most recently acquired addresses.
When you want my JS, I'll email it to you, presuming the zero-risk types at Wikia keep preventing us from just looking at each other's files. But the result is also influenced by CSS on my PC. (Keeping that up-to-date on a half dozen PCs, even as key ones fail, is a headache.)
Decades ago I wired together a functioning computer that could fully address its 256 bytes of program memory. But each additional data source required eight more little wires and 16 successful solder joints, so the last couple were not actual, useful registers but things like "This register always contains the number 2." Tying together such kludges into a working program always gave a sense of pride, though it was a complete waste of time then and a flagrant one now. A year or two ago I opened a Forum in BENSON'S on Uncyclopedia versus other hobbies. Mentioned the appeal of emulating at the kitchen table the machines I learned on, and having the product run one hundred times faster and allow for customizing. But again: Then what? Play music? Surf the web? Share data? with whom? Spıke Radiomicrophone20:51 12-Feb-16

Exactly right. Why buy a load of expensive-ish gates and spend hours soldering them when you can get a chip for buttons. What is the point in taking hours over making something that would be practically useless (unless it is funny)? However, for some reason the sense of satisfaction seeing those little lights telling me that in address 1011 is 0010 though was marvelous! Mrs EStop thinks it must be a man thing.  EStop Easy button 21:01, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

Introduce her to "scrapbooking" and you will have an out if the topic comes up again. Spıke Radiomicrophone21:08 12-Feb-16

Good idea! She is starting to get the powerwasher thing though. The lady down the road passed as she was doing the front, so asked to have a go, then the lady next door thought that looked like great fun too. I said before going away to watch your eyes with flying chips, so they all were wearing their sunglasses apparently. I probably need to do some re-pointing when I get home, but it is a start.  EStop Easy button 21:48, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

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