User talk:SPIKE

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edit Return of Miley Spears

About Spike...."Word to the wise: Spike tends to be a bit of a workaholic when it comes to this website, & is here more for writing & doing admin work than socializing, & expects others to do the same." -- Simsilikesims

Remember me? I was writing feature articles here when you were in diapers. Now I'm back. UnNews:Obama plans to get millions of girls :P DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:22, April 2, 2015 (UTC)

If ladies wish to gossip, it is very bad ton for one of them to run straight here and tell me what the other one said about me. At any rate, Simsie's comments are accurate except that I don't expect other Uncyclopedians not to socialize. Following the model of Mordillo, I do emphasize writing funny stuff. But, yes, if you needed to broadcast a message to everyone on the site that you returned, it would have been cleaner to just use the Village Dump.
I posted that as a joke. Back when I was active, it was common for me to do stuff like that. I was known as the Drama Queen. :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 21:51, April 2, 2015 (UTC)
ScottPat seems to have had the same problems you had with editing the website (or at least problems lasting the same month). My Abuse Filter is a separate issue; it doesn't keep you from doing anything but just gives you a warning you need to click past. As Simsie mentioned, you are welcome to give links to your other websites but should confine this to your user page; otherwise, it's essentially using the site to advertise.
Wiki staff said for some reason the filter or something in my account was not letting me post at all. I'd get the warning, then press enter, and get a blank screen. I got that even with different browsers. I could edit when I wasn't logged in but not with my account. It took them several tries over weeks to fix it. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 21:55, April 2, 2015 (UTC)
I am not one of the Agents of Greyface who banned you from the site; they are gone. We were on-site during the same years but mostly didn't cross paths. So, welcome back, and write funny stuff! I see one new UnNews already that seems to be a real one. Spıke Ѧ 11:52 2-Apr-15
I loved your suggestions and talk about them at User_talk:Miley_Spears#UnNews:Obama_plans_to_get_millions_of_girls.
The Agents of Greyface was a Discordian joke. No one banned me. I had problems with my account over and over again four or so years ago which is why I got inactive. Sometimes I'd try half a dozen times before I could log in, and then I couldn't always edit. But it's finally fixed! I hope! :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 21:58, April 2, 2015 (UTC)
Wikia must have been performing "Research and Development," then as now. Spıke Ѧ 22:02 2-Apr-15
The problems with the Abuse Filter are baffling. Wikia never asked me what I was doing, but that doesn't mean anything. The Abuse Filter merely intercepts an edit that matches a test condition and interposes the warning page, but there must be some magic behind it that is supposed to ensure that it only happens once per edit, and that could have broken. Spıke Ѧ 22:05 2-Apr-15

edit This Wiki is NSFW

Template:NSFW is deleted. Do you remember why? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:46, April 3, 2015 (UTC)

I do. Wikia required us to censor or deleted a number of our NSFW images (including drawings) until what was left was mainly SFW, rendering the template obsolete, especially while Wikia had the whole content warning imposed before anyone could enter the site. The template was VFD'd. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:54, April 3, 2015 (UTC)
Edit conflict; I'll file my own reply anyway: Admin Frosty deleted it at the end of 2012. We debated (see Uncyclopedia:Votes_for_deletion/Archive269) and finally deleted this entire family of templates. Wikia's only muscular intervention with us is to delete (often without any study of the implications) any nude photos. Some Admins push back in cases where the nudity is necessary to pursue comedy. At the time, we had an Anon that was making a career of slapping these templates on any articles he thought were naughty. My opinion is that the use of a template is either a prank on the reader or is pointing to a problem that shouldn't just be pointed to but solved. Spıke Ѧ 03:01 3-Apr-15
Thanks both of you! What happened to Wikia? I'm adopter/admin/sysop of Discordia.wikia.com. I was doing an article about Go Topless Day, talking about how men can go topless but women can't. I posted a pic of a man's chest, a man with gynecomastia. I showed the source. The man himself posted it to wiki commons. They removed it! I said it's a man with boobs it's from Wikipedia and I showed them it was used in about a dozen wiki articles. But they wouldn't put it back because a staff member said he couldn't tell if it was male breasts or female breasts. I remember when we had to fight here to get a picture taken off that showed Muhammad sucking on a man's penis. It was here for months. Now we can't post a man's chest. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:01, April 3, 2015 (UTC)
Welcome to the world of corporate-owned wikis! Wikia is a bureaucracy with a reputation to protect, and surely with a few people in suits who worry about boycotts, campaigns from the pulpit, lawsuits, and new government regulation or the need to go to Washington to lobby against it. (The FCC has just declared that the Communications Act of 1934 meant for it to regulate the Internet, at first just to impose price controls so that no one overpays for watching porn, but surely someday regulating speech.)
This is not really constraining; it's just as easy making a point with non-nude illustrations as with nude ones, except if one's goal is not to amuse the reader but to amuse himself by shocking the reader. But I got in Sannse's face when she proposed as a general rule that a reader's (claimed) feelings should govern our behavior, which would require staff to delete some of our best articles. Spıke Ѧ 09:56 3-Apr-15

edit UGotM

You got nommed! :P (Thanks for all your help!) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:50, April 3, 2015 (UTC)

I must admit, never got that one. As for shouting my name, "Spike" was here in 2006 and seems to have made no edits. I picked "SPIKE" after trying to poach "Spike"; Sannse refused and even did the work to verify that its email address had nothing to do with mine, so the user name was not left over from the day someone showed me around the site a couple years before I arrived for real. Spıke Ѧ 10:04 3-Apr-15

edit Autopatrolled

I didn't see it on this site but got an email that I "Was a veteran Uncyclopedian before "autopatrolled" was added." I admin Discordia.wikia.com and peta.wikia.com, but those and all the other wikis work differently than uncyclopedia.

Ooes this mean I got autopatrol and if I do what is it? Or am I being autopatrolled? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 22:18, April 3, 2015 (UTC)

It means you are a trusted editor so what you are upto on the site doesn't flag up any warnings as regards a lot of editing. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:26, April 3, 2015 (UTC)
Yes. Since you were away, a new feature flags all edits of anonymous and non-autopatrolled editors. Someone (usually me) checks to ensure the edits aren't vandalism. I flipped your bit because you don't need checking. Spıke Ѧ 23:48 3-Apr-15
So now I can vandalize all I want and nobody will notice? Cool. j/k :P DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:25, April 4, 2015 (UTC)
Really I wonder if this is available on the other wikis I do. I'll have to ask. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:27, April 4, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews:2015 British general election

Perhaps you misinterpreted what I meant by putting a border around articles. I was referring to the UnNews front page itself and having the top two election articles bordered on that. I don't mind your idea anyway, it's fine. The only problem is that the borders around the articles on the election coverage page have played a bit of havoc with the formatting as now one article is above the other. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:16, April 3, 2015 (UTC)

I didn't misinterpret that idea; I rejected it. If it becomes clear enough how to get to the Election Front Page (there is now a link from the website main page), we suddenly have more feature slots, and ought to use them to let more articles be featured for longer. (Also, on 1-Apr, we got quite a slew of them!)
I saw the formatting problem and thought I had solved it. It began when I specified padding for graphics that had the border: The extra space seems to have expanded the graphic's overall width (beyond half the total column), rather than taken it from the width granted to the text inside. Will investigate further. Spıke Ѧ 14:47 3-Apr-15
Thanks. The news articles will come when I (or others) feel like writing one. There's no point trying to push it and sacrifice what little quality my UnNews' already have for a quota. As for today, the papers are just talking about a 7 way election debate that occurred last night that due to a large number of participants doesn't seem to have any victors. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:52, April 3, 2015 (UTC)
Reminds me of a 2012 event in New Hampshire, illustration at Tea Party movement. These were the Seven intellectual Dwarves. Ultimately we settled on a Bush, though he was named Romney. As for the formatting problem, I had coded the blue border so that your template had to have border=none (omitting it wouldn't work). I have now recoded it so that omitting it will work. But if you code border=navy on a side-by-side graphic, you'll see that the problem recurs. Spıke Ѧ 14:56 3-Apr-15

Cheers. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:05, April 3, 2015 (UTC)

It turns out we needed box-sizing: border-box to clarify that the width of the graphic is gross as opposed to net (which was the traditional definition). I added -moz-box-sizing: border-box to make it work back to Firefox 4; older browsers may still have the problem. Spıke Ѧ 15:20 3-Apr-15

edit UnNews Front Page: Sex of next British PM

It's a small thing really but I notice that you've mentioned, "with a view to making one of several really silly men the face of the nation". Considering that out of the top 7 parties, 3 have female leaders (soon to be third most popular party, SNP, included), I thought it would be more apt to change it to "men and women" or "politicians". Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:00, April 8, 2015 (UTC)

edit "My preferences" error

Whenever I click on "my preferences" at the top right of the screen on my user panel, it gives me an error message, "The database is currently locked. Our main datacenter is down, you are accessing our backup datacenter. We are working to fix the problem. Return to Main Page."

Do you know anything about this or how long this has been going on for? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:17, April 4, 2015 (UTC)

Yes.
Sorry to see that is acting up again. The explanation is in the Village Dump somewhere. Be right back. Spıke Ѧ 19:19 4-Apr-15
It is the fourth Forum down, but that is not the last word; George told me it was the result of updating the MediaWiki code and having parts of Uncyclopedia go out of synch. He warned that it might recur and that the ultimate solution was difficult. Don't know if I posted that part of the contact. Spıke Ѧ 19:22 4-Apr-15
OK, thanks. I don't use it much but new users may need their preferences page. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:26, April 4, 2015 (UTC)

This was still malfunctioning Tuesday night, and I called it into Wikia. George Marbulcanti sees it too and has passed the report onto the Wikia technical team. Spıke Ѧ 13:55 8-Apr-15
Thanks for the update. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:27, April 8, 2015 (UTC)

My preferences seems to be working now so thank you for contacting Wikia about it. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 14:25, April 13, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, it came back within a day after I phoned it in; a bit more prompt than I was at acting on your notification! (Your quibble above about the sex of the next British PM I was quicker to correct.) Spıke Ѧ 14:32,14:34 13-Apr-15
The sex of the next British PM will undoubtedly be male unless Wales or Scotland invade overnight or Britain becomes an asylum for eco-friendly socialists. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 19:14, April 13, 2015 (UTC)

edit Fictional Characters

Would it be possible to bring fictional characters into an Uncyclopedia article Eg. James Bond and say, for example, "James Bond has taken part in various missions for MI6, however most of the time he is seduced by men, specifically men who are blonde and have teeth melted off with Cyanide"? The preceding unsigned comment was added by Lord Castabarus (talk • contribs)

Bringing fiction into articles is absolutely fine and we do it a lot at Uncyclopedia. To get the most laughs the reference has to be able to be "got" by a lot of people. James Bond is a good one because he is famous and he and his films are easy to stereotype. Although avoid being clichéd or unoriginal. Your example is fine and works on me. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:18, April 6, 2015 (UTC)

edit Edit on Screaming Lord Sutch

I've heard it said many times that British humour is a tad more subtle than American humour. In your recent edit, you re-wrote my pun in a more convoluted way, whilst claiming in the change summary that you had changed a random sentence into a pun. I am going to revert to the original as I think the pun is obvious enough (I mean it's a pretty well known pun) but I'll keep the link to Pun just for those who miss it in the first place (as I presume you did). Feel free to debate/ban me. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:53, April 7, 2015 (UTC)

It's not the way you did the pun, but the fact that being arrested in the shower is cryptic to those outside your target audience. Seeing nothing funny but the pun, I thought to make it more prominent. No problem with your revert, but see if you can do something about this other problem. Spıke Ѧ 11:08 7-Apr-15
I'll create a back-story for the shower. How's the article looking? Anything else you'd suggest changing? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:15, April 7, 2015 (UTC)
No I am not going to vote on this one. It is good enough that I have no objection to it running on the main page, but it does nothing for me but ridicule a politician I have never heard of — in fact of a party I have never heard of, as its name is also coded in the article.
If there is no back-story for the shower, if being arrested in the shower relates to nothing in real life, why not drop it and stick something else in the Intro that does? Spıke Ѧ 11:30 7-Apr-15
It's a pun Spike. If you knew the Party well, many of their manifesto points are based on puns and they frequent in telling one-liners. I didn't ask you to vote, I asked whether there was any other improvements to be had - I take your reply as no. Also "a party I have never heard of, as its name is also coded in the article". What do you mean by "coded", the actual name of the party is the Official Monster Raving Loony Party (WP:Official Monster Raving Loony Party) (and I have written that twice in the intro)?
Also as to your excuse for not voting on the VFH. I have often voted on articles myself of which I have had no information on the subject besides the article itself, most recently Chuck Taylor, of whom I know neither what party he comes from, nor, until a few days ago, what a "sneaker" is, but I still managed to vote based on humour in an article. That was my choice and you may judge how you vote differently but it does seem mighty bizarre only to vote on articles that talk about something you already know about.
Thanks, as always, for the help. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:48, April 7, 2015 (UTC)
Light over head just went on. Spıke Ѧ 12:39 7-Apr-15
Thanks. Were you unaware it was a joke party then? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:42, April 7, 2015 (UTC)
Totally, for decades since I first read about it (in Viz). Spıke Ѧ 12:43 7-Apr-15
Ah ok. I see now, you thought the article was parodying a Prime Minister by giving him a silly name and a silly party. In actual fact the article is extremely complimentary, providing an alternate history for a leader of a joke party who never got more than 1,100 votes in an election (but is famous is British political history). Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:45, April 7, 2015 (UTC)
By the way, I interviewed Sutch in the early 90s in my other job. Came across to me as a melancholic trying to maintain a 'humorous' facade with his political party. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:20, April 8, 2015 (UTC)
Well he did commit suicide because of depression in 1999, so I would imagine he was quite melancholy. But what an honour it must have been to interview such a great man. I never realised that Romartus' true identity could be narrowed down to either Jeremy Paxman or Andrew Marr. If you don't mind me asking what did you ask him about and what were his replies? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:29, April 8, 2015 (UTC)
(A late reply). I met Sutch in a pub in Islington in the early 1990s, about the time the Loonies beat David Owen's Continuity SDP were beaten in a by election by a loony candidate. Came across like someone struggling to be 'funny' when he wasn't a very content person. Like a circus clown and just about as unfunny. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:35, April 17, 2015 (UTC)
Holwing Laud Hope came across as pretty poor at being funny on his Daily Politics interview. I mean I guess the party was formed by a load of musicians who liked getting drunk and dabbling in some bad puns. It wouldn't be right if they weren't complete amateurs. The whole concept of the party is just so very British and it does a fine job of reminding you that humour has no boundaries. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:08, April 17, 2015 (UTC)

edit Hit counters

Is it possible to insert a hit counter into RAF Packington? I have tried and failed, as they all want to direct away( a bad thing) For reasons of unaccuracy I would like an counter to start with 642821 RAF Packington (talk) 09:49, April 7, 2015 (UTC) RAF Packington

Uncyclopedians ought to write funny English, not write code. Indeed there is no place to store a count of page views except on some other site, as this is not one of the services that Wikia provides for us, and thus no way to register a page view except send our readers elsewhere.
It would be nice if you branched out beyond this single project and tried your hand at other articles, rather than worry about how many (or how few) are flocking to it. Spıke Ѧ 11:08 7-Apr-15

edit Coventry

How can it be Vanity if it's talking about someone well known? It's exactly like saying "Indiana Jones was stabbed at the Insomnia event" because that is referencing someone who was stabbed at the event. Or perhaps for an article on the White House, you could say "Obama's personal toilet can only be used by president Obama"... Lord Castabarus (talk) 19:39, April 9, 2015 (UTC)

You are correct that "vanity" would technically be you writing about yourself. However, the referenced policy clarifies that celebrities or cronies at another website, like those in your homeroom or dormitory, are usually not of general interest. It is impossible to tell the difference between advertisements for the external website and attempts to curry favor or work out grudges experienced at another website. Separately, pretend things that happened to these celebrities are not funny (on their own). It is equally unfunny if they are not pretend things. Spıke Ѧ 20:28 9-Apr-15

edit Unhuffing Mistress

I used to be known as the Unhuffing Mistress because I'd find articles that had been huffed then write a new article for that topic. A couple of them got featured (Brooke Shields, Jamie Lynn Spears). But I've been gone so long and the other wikias I edit all work differently than here. How can I find the names of articles that were huffed? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:32, April 17, 2015 (UTC)

The best way to find huffed articles that have attracted notice is to camp at Votes for Deletion and edit so furiously that Symbol delete vote Delete votes start to flip to Symbol keep vote Keep, as I have done about 125 times. If there's nothing good there, you can go into the VFD archives (see its instructions). It might be more expedient to mine Requested Articles, because a lot of pages are huffed in part because the page name is a pun, which "forces the reader to guess the punch line to read the joke."
A recent huffing is Forum:Miley Spears is back‎. The Village Dump is for policy debates and discussions of Wikia bugs; B.H.O.P. is the place to socialize; and to advertise other wikis that are fun to edit, please don't do it at all. I don't care if it's Wikia or rogue; we do not strengthen (read "prolong the life of" if you like) this website by advertising others, outside individual user pages. Spıke Ѧ 09:49 17-Apr-15
I don't see a problem about users creating a forum to say 'hi'. Always depends on what they want to talk about without using it as a trolling exercise. So I will restore it. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:45, April 17, 2015 (UTC)
I see that you've moved this to BHOP which probably would have been a better route to take in the first place. Don't forget we want people to stay here. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:05, April 17, 2015 (UTC)

Really sorry but I disagree. It's called the Internet because it's a net with interconnections. Wikipedia is doing just fine and it's full of outside links. So are Google, Yahoo, Facebook, etc. Wikia.com which includes Uncyclopedia encourages having lots of links. Sometimes we're supposed to link (see Attribute fairly at http://community.wikia.com/wiki/Wikia_Community_Guidelines#Article) Go to the main page of any other wiki on Wikia.com and you'll probably see colorful pictures that link to other wikis on the bottom. Uncyclopedia is the only wikia I've seen that doesn't do that. I don't think trying to isolate Uncyclopedia is helping any. What if other websites had the same policy against linking to Uncyclopedia?

Now don't be mad at me I'm only trying to help. :)DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 19:46, April 28, 2015 (UTC)

The Internet has a lot of cyberbullying too, but we do not. So what happens elsewhere on the Internet does not dictate what we do here. In very many of the cases including yours, the motive seems to be not to help build Uncyclopedia but to harvest the audience Uncyclopedia has built and induce it to surf somewhere else; that is, to advertise, for which you ought to pay Wikia; that is the nature of our arrangement with them to get free server time and worldwide publication. The colorful pictures on other Wikia sites (and on Uncyclopedia, unless you sign in and opt out) are exactly Wikia ads. They are free to advertise peanut butter in that space and probably will some day. Spıke Ѧ 00:08 29-Apr-15
Sorry, sweetie, but the ads I'm talking about are for other Wikias, most of them created by Wikia users like you and me. Right now the Discordia wikia for which I am admin/bureaucrat has a colorful link to a blog entry on the Lego wikia, one to another blog, and one to the Community Wikia. Miley Cyrus wikia I edit has a colorful link to the Starpolar wikia, a user blog, and the create page. The PETA wikia for which I am the only active admin/bureaucrat has colorful ads for the Hannah Montana wikia, the Ice Cream wikia, and the create a wikia page.
I never saw any policy against links here until now.
I have links on my personal website to Uncyclopedia, and have added links to it on the Discordia wikia and Miley Cyrus Wikia and the Seti wiki and 23 Apples of Eris and several other websites including Facebook. If I'm discouraged from adding links here, I might as well take out links to Uncyclopedia on those sites. Links are what keep websites alive. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:05, April 29, 2015 (UTC)
I also wrote an article on another wikia that's about Uncyclopedia. It has a link here. Should I remove the link and the article? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:13, April 29, 2015 (UTC)
Sorry if I'm sounding like a drama queen. But when I was here before that was my job. :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:00, April 29, 2015 (UTC)

edit Deleting my userpage

Can you just delete my userpage and all associated pages, including all the death metal bread pics I uploaded? I want it done for privacy reasons. --General Insineratehymn 18:22, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

Sure; it is only contact from other Uncyclopedians that should survive in some archive. Death metal bread? Sounds tasty! Please use QVFD to enumerate what I should delete. Spıke Ѧ 18:56 21-Apr-15
Done. --General Insineratehymn 19:07, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

edit Spring Festival

Hi Spike! Thanks for organizing the contest! I think the topics can be distributed randomly amongst the contestants with the only criteria that nobody should receive the topic he proposed. The judging can be done by the competitors themselves, considering they don't judge the article they've written. I think this will be the optimal option, as it won't require us searching for judges while the competition advances.

I'll add my topic suggestions to the forum, and Chocochew left some ideas on my talkpage. I'd be willing to distribute all the topics tonight, but I'm leaving for two days in about an hour and I don't know whether I'll have Internet at the place where I'm staying. Would you like the competition to begin tomorrow? If so, if you don't have any edits from me tonight, could you, please, help by doing the distribution? Sorry for this. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:36, April 24, 2015 (UTC)

Also, if there are a lot more topics than the number of candidates, then I think we can give each candidate two or more options. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:51, April 24, 2015 (UTC)
P.S. Very final update: So, all in all, we have 19 red links plus Every's suggestions, which aren't names of specific things but ideas for topics (engine manufacturers, etc,).

That's what you get for picking Motel Six. Regarding your topic suggestions, I am skeptical of nominations where you have to explain to the writer in parentheses what they are. And isn't "famous Iranian filmmaker" an oxymoron?! I'll be home almost all day and will be happy to deal out article assignments, except to myself. Everyotherusernamewastaken will not be happy, as I am biased toward completing the satire encyclopedia whereas he is perennially interested in escaping its bounds. Matching writers to nominations should not be a criterion, but if people don't rush to start writing, we might "deal a second hand" in a few days. I would rather have designated judges than letting everyone judge who wants to, as that always invites cliques and mutual backscratching, but there may be a role for the contestants themselves. Any judge should award 7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0 votes (going up as high as there are entries other than his own) and then we should take the sum. Spıke Ѧ 15:16 24-Apr-15

Thanks! The topic distribution was great and I am glad you got yours. (If you hadn't, I would have given you a subject even more challenging than an Iranian filmmaker). I agree with your judging idea. To avoid cliques and mutual backscratching, we should ask users for more or less detailed explanations behind their choices. Good luck! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:42, April 26, 2015 (UTC)

Did I ever! That article was one of those that "practically wrote itself." Judges should definitely give detailed explanations, though this would not by itself prevent cliques and mutual backscratching, but judges who are not contestants might. ScottPat is considering whether he could be one; perhaps Ye Blacke Adder would be up for doing more than adding interwikis, as he has been busying himself this morning.

My assignments were not random. Anarchic Everyotherusernamewastaken got the one that least dictates the nature of the article; Jonny appleseed has written a series of anti-Obama screeds on UnNews I have had to ask him to tone down, so I hope he writes Ted Cruz (the most ideological candidate of the non-Obama party) without authentic hatred, where Miley Spears, on her talk page, sounds as though she'd do a hatchet-job. Of your movie nominations, American Sniper is morally ambiguous; Romartus would have viewed it or at least be interested in the phenomenon and yet immune from the local partisanship. And, as I wrote in the Comments column, you are the writer I most trust to make Chamber pot more than scatological.

What is that challenging article you would like me to tackle next? Spıke Ѧ 12:53,13:30 26-Apr-15

edit Assignment

First-past-the-post voting. Horses for courses? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 06:26, April 25, 2015 (UTC)

It is a poll dance. Spıke Ѧ 13:32 26-Apr-15

edit "Pointless" redirects

Why is redirecting MGM to Jew pointless but redirecting Warner Bros to Jew perfectly fine? ~EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(dtf?) 09:48, April 27, 2015 (UTC)

I don't think either is perfectly fine. They are pranks on the reader for our own amusement. Someone who clicks on a movie studio does not want to be delivered a monologue by a Jew. The editor is playing word association and thinks the joke is: "Ha ha! He's a Jew!" Not funny to Jews, and random to most everyone else. Spıke Ѧ 11:09 27-Apr-15
The point I'm trying to make is that Warner Bros and MGM are equally important studios therefore my redirect was only pointless if the other one is too, so if you're gonna delete mine then perhaps you should look into all the thousands of redirects to pages like Jew and Yet another Jew trick. You banned me once for making pointless redirects and I think it's time you actually took up the issue and do something impartial rather than just delete new ones, or I shall be compelled out of an obtuse OCD desire for equality to re-offend. ~EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(dtf?) 12:56, April 27, 2015 (UTC)
I started with removing the pointless redirect from Warner Bros. SPIKE works very hard here he can't fix the entire site in one day. Maybe in two days. :D DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 20:17, April 28, 2015 (UTC)
Generally, I don't ban for making pointless redirects. I ban for being confrontational (see just above), such as persistent creation of overt crap. (We have an Anon on the overnight shift who seems to think our Categories need more prank entries.) For me to delete a redirect of yours does not mean I think every other redirect is proper, and it is not lack of "impartiality" for me to drop what I am doing and turn to the question of whether there are any edits on the wiki that are worse than one you just made. The right way to proceed is to list some of the redirects you are talking about at QVFD. If they do nothing except perform word-association on the fact that so-and-so happens to be a Jew, I'll delete them too. Better yet, re-redirect them to something sensible, or write a funny article. Spıke Ѧ 13:07 27-Apr-15

edit There's no privacy in a public forum

"Entrants have been creating entries in userspace (such as at User:Miley Spears/article-name). However, as there is no such article in mainspace, userspacing is not a requirement." --SPIKE

I put mine in my user space so it wouldn't draw attention, and wouldn't be listed on the contest page. But there's no privacy in a public forum. I'll fix that. :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 17:23, April 28, 2015 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia.wikia.com does not work like other wikias. That was a major project doing it here. :P DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 17:31, April 28, 2015 (UTC)

I listed them on the contest page to tout the fact that some people weren't waiting until the deadline day to get started. It is not as though jokes at "Noble gases" can be easily transferred to "Fast food". I see you are the latest to get tripped up by our (relatively) new pull-down namespace menu on the Move form. When you move a page (in error or not), please list the old name at QVFD so someone deletes it; don't just blank the page. Spıke Ѧ 17:33 28-Apr-15
Yeah that's a good idea. Really I put it in my user space because sometimes I majorly change articles along the way. I'll do the QVFD thing. Like I said I'm admin/bureaucrat on two wikias and they work very differently than here. I can do everything in one step on them. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 18:29, April 28, 2015 (UTC)

edit What happened to the Village Dump?

Village Dump
Is that just happening on my computer or is it a problem with the Village Dump? Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 18:41, April 28, 2015 (UTC)
I see monkeys wearing tiaras dancing on the ceiling. What do you see?
OK I know this isn't my talk page, but just to let you know Village Dump looks same as usual to me. I don't see the 2013 version you see. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 18:54, April 28, 2015 (UTC)
I've got the same problem with Spam (electronic) --Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 19:08, April 28, 2015 (UTC)
It looks OK to me. Maybe something's up with you computer. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 19:28, April 28, 2015 (UTC)

edit File:Bryci 17 019.jpg

Why was this deleted from Uncyclopedia? Even by Wikia's new prudity policy, she has her nipples fully covered. I participate in Go Topless Day, and even in cities where women can get arrested for going topless you can still do it if your nipples are covered, even if only by tiny pasties. Some women actually wear fake nipples over their real nipples and that's legal too. Women do that every year. You can see the pic at hxxp://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/File:Bryci_17_019.jpg DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 19:11, April 28, 2015 (UTC)

I deleted it not because of nudity but because it appeared on a page I deleted (probably at the request of VFD) and I saw that it did not appear anywhere else in mainspace but in the userspace of you and maybe other fallen-away Uncyclopedians. If you want it, it's back. Spıke Ѧ 00:08 29-Apr-15
Thanks sweetie. That's a good dog. :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:48, April 29, 2015 (UTC)

edit US jailhouse euphemisms

Hi, just doing some final tinkering with an UnNews piece. Do you have a saying in the US for someone serving a jail sentence? In the UK we have "at Her Majesty's pleasure", do you have anything like that? --EStop (talk) 17:35, April 30, 2015 (UTC)

A comparable term for the formal sentencing itself doesn't come to mind, but there are dozens for the phenomenon of being "behind bars," or "in the can," "dieting on bread-and-water," several of these popularized by a local talk host whom I wrote "talks about organized crime and elected officials, which he describes in similar terms." Spıke Ѧ 17:42 30-Apr-15
Okay great, thanks Spike. --EStop (talk) 17:46, April 30, 2015 (UTC)

edit Moving Noble gases

I removed the construction template I adapted from Noble gases like you told me to. I wasn't trying to cause a problem I used to always adapt templates here and I never got told not to. I didn't know it's a problem to do that now.

I tried moving the article back to my user space like you also told me to do but it didn't work. I got the message:

"You do not have permission to move this page, for the following reason:

"The page could not be moved: a page of that name already exists, or the name you have chosen is not valid. Please choose another name, or ask an administrator to help you with the move.

"Please do not manually move the article by copying and pasting it; the page history must be moved along with the article text."

I'm really sorry I thought you said it was OK to put the contest articles in main space. But I can't move it so could you move it for me? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 22:15, April 30, 2015 (UTC)

You weren't able to move it because there was something at the destination (presumably a redirect) and that would constitute deleting a page. I'll move it. When you move stuff, remember to ask (at QVFD) for the old name (the redirect) to be deleted; I took care of the current batch. Adapting templates is not a problem, but mainspace articles are implicitly open to edit by others — userspace articles are not — and that is why you should use userspace. Spıke Ѧ 22:37 30-Apr-15
Sorry I was going by where you wrote "Entrants have been creating entries in userspace (such as at User:Miley Spears/article-name). However, as there is no such article in mainspace, userspacing is not a requirement." I see now you crossed that out but I read it when it wasn't crossed out so that's what I was going by. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:24, May 1, 2015 (UTC)
Also that's the way we used to do articles for contests and IC projects back in the day. We did contest articles in user space and IC articles in IC space where nobody but IC could mess with them or else. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:47, May 1, 2015 (UTC)
Well, you blanked it. But now that it is moved, you can go back in its history and unblank it. Spıke Ѧ 22:40 30-Apr-15

edit Need Images Template?

Does there exist a template that is used to say the an article needs more images? I came across a page that has only ONE image! Written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 15:46, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

{{AAP}} is the one I know about. Admin Romartus can usually find photos to add to an article, though many are black-and-whites from his history books. Spıke Ѧ 15:57 1-May-15
Spike is quite correct. I have a source of historic images to use if requested. :) --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:33, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

edit Apology

Sorry Spike I forgot to QVFD the old hurricane, thanks for clearing up after me again. --EStop (talk) 19:41, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

Typing Special:PrefixIndex/User:EStop/ produces a sort of directory listing that can locate any old files that need to be gotten rid of. Spıke Ѧ 19:53 1-May-15

edit Chocochew

Hi Spike! I genuinely believed while proposing this competition that Uncyclopedia is too old (not to say "too mature") for drama, so I couldn't expect that a festival started with good intentions could spark so much of it. I'm sorry if it pains you, as much or more than it pains me. Also, just wanted to say that even though I tried to be as impartial as possible on Chocochew's talkpage, I might have said something that could have hurt you. Know that it wasn't my intention. I was in a kind of mood, where you sympathize with both participants of the conflict, because you know their feelings. I really appreciate you trying to end the conflict by not taking anything too personally and staying objective, but I guess at this point, anything said by anyone might cause more hurt feelings. That's why I hope you agree with the propositions I made on his talkpage.

Now, considering that now there's been bits of drama almost all over the place, I have urgent questions as to the scoring of the competition (if it ever gets to that part), which -- under normal conditions -- usually is the trickiest part. Do you still wish we propose scoring to the competitors, or do you think we need to find judges, who haven't taken part in the contest? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:54, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

It would be excellent to find truly impartial judges. Romartus tells me he in fact doesn't know the first thing about the movie he was assigned to write about, so he might be more valuable as a judge than a writer. Likewise you, if you are not up to the challenge of writing a mature article on the chamber pot. Alternatively, an American grade-school alternative would be do declare multiple winners and promote all mainspace-worthy articles to mainspace forthwith.
I feel that Chocochew contrived a ban and used it as a badge of martyrhood, not unlike a friend of yours did in her early days. Moreover, Everyotherusernamewastaken used the disagreement to try to recruit Chocochew to another website and, after I left a stern warning on his userpage, did the same thing again. Consequently, he is a casualty for the duration of the contest weekend. Reminds me of Shabidoo last time. I've reported my actions to the Cabal, likewise my opinion that Uncyclopedia competitions are like birthday parties booked at Chuck E. Cheese and hockey games in the second overtime: Players itching to misbehave are convinced that the usual enforcement will be suspended so as not to influence the contest.
You have annoyed me in the past by advocating for newbies long after the point I thought they had become overt nuisances, but I appreciated your intervention here (which you did even before Chocochew pleaded his case to you and teased that there was an unwritten half-an-article available if you would pander to his precious wounded self-esteem). Likewise in the case of Miley, though she is no newbie. I saw nothing to take personally or be hurt about. Spıke Ѧ 20:25 1-May-15
I think I can be judge as regards the contest. I know the story as regards American Sniper but haven't seen the film or the documentary that inspired the film so perhaps best I go 'King Canute' here. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:21, May 1, 2015 (UTC)
You would be welcome in that capacity, Your Highness. (We both rose to our current positions after years of chanting, "I do not want to be the Shogun"!) Multiple judges would be welcome. I should bark at Anton199 for proposing that we acquire this new pet and then leaving me to feed it for a week. Spıke Ѧ 21:32 1-May-15
In my day, emperors were made on a field of battle and raised on a platform of shields. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:35, May 1, 2015 (UTC)
In my day, warriors returned home to their girlfriends carrying their shields or on them with a big box of chocolates. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:22, May 2, 2015 (UTC)

edit Poophead265

This. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:23, May 2, 2015 (UTC)

Good work Miss Miley! I was here to highlight your patrol efforts to Spike, what goes through these peoples heads? --EStop (talk) 07:18, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
I hate to give you fodder for your claim that we are drowning in rules, but the usual way to broadcast to Admins that a rogue user needs to be stopped is Ban Patrol, which surely existed during your former life here. At any rate, it is now taken care of. Spıke Ѧ 10:09 2-May-15
I remember Ban Patrol. But like I said I've been editing Wikipedia and other wikias which work very differently than here so I just forgot. I might add Ban Patrol to other wikias I edit. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 20:08, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
It and QVFD are pages designed to broadcast to "any Admin on duty right now," as summarized at UN:AA. Spıke Ѧ 20:21 2-May-15
That's cool. I'll check the Wikia tech support and see if I can add those to wikias I admin. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 20:35, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
Don't bother Wikia about that! There is nothing special about BP or QVFD; they are ordinary pages in the Project space (with archives as subpages). All you would have to do is notify any fellow Admins and (ssh!) establish a rule. Spıke Ѧ 20:40 2-May-15
I wish I had taken care of Master Poophead with the Rollback all button (documented in UN:HAX) because it marks both edits "bot edits" so they normally don't show up in RecentChanges. That would let users skip the vandalism and revert. However, I did not wake up for several more hours, and spent much of the morning not writing comedy for no pay but doing radio for no pay, and tomorrow I'll be announcing a baseball game for no pay. (My co-host noted that there is a common thread to these pastimes.) Spıke Ѧ 20:46 2-May-15

edit Talk:Asian women

Excuse me. The comment I tried to remove is ancient, was never responded to, had no impact on the discussion or article, refers to content that no longer exists, and isn't funny. Why are you willing to have an edit war to preserve it? -Jatopian (talk) 20:41, May 2, 2015 (UTC)

"In the case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written." (From my canned Welcome message, and that of several other welcomers.) You can disavow any of your past comments like this but you must not edit the past. I am willing to do more than have an edit war. Spıke Ѧ 20:49 2-May-15
I didn't get a canned welcome message, possibly because my account predates the Wikia merge. Regardless, Talk pages have History too, do they not? -Jatopian (talk) 22:14, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
I was neither claiming you should have known, nor that Forensic Uncyclopedians could not find the old text no matter what is edited. Neither of these points are relevant. Spıke Ѧ 23:01 2-May-15

edit Poophead275

Looks like Mr Poophead275 is trying to earn himself a perma-ban. Yours and ScottPat's talks were blanked

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