User talk:SPIKE

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edit Archives

edit Need Images Template?

Does there exist a template that is used to say the an article needs more images? I came across a page that has only ONE image! Written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 15:46, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

{{AAP}} is the one I know about. Admin Romartus can usually find photos to add to an article, though many are black-and-whites from his history books. Spıke Ѧ 15:57 1-May-15
Spike is quite correct. I have a source of historic images to use if requested. :) --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:33, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

I don't think your textbook has images pertaining to Halo but thanks for the help! Written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 15:19, May 4, 2015 (UTC)

edit Apology

Sorry Spike I forgot to QVFD the old hurricane, thanks for clearing up after me again. --EStop (talk) 19:41, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

Typing Special:PrefixIndex/User:EStop/ produces a sort of directory listing that can locate any old files that need to be gotten rid of. Spıke Ѧ 19:53 1-May-15

edit Chocochew

Hi Spike! I genuinely believed while proposing this competition that Uncyclopedia is too old (not to say "too mature") for drama, so I couldn't expect that a festival started with good intentions could spark so much of it. I'm sorry if it pains you, as much or more than it pains me. Also, just wanted to say that even though I tried to be as impartial as possible on Chocochew's talkpage, I might have said something that could have hurt you. Know that it wasn't my intention. I was in a kind of mood, where you sympathize with both participants of the conflict, because you know their feelings. I really appreciate you trying to end the conflict by not taking anything too personally and staying objective, but I guess at this point, anything said by anyone might cause more hurt feelings. That's why I hope you agree with the propositions I made on his talkpage.

Now, considering that now there's been bits of drama almost all over the place, I have urgent questions as to the scoring of the competition (if it ever gets to that part), which -- under normal conditions -- usually is the trickiest part. Do you still wish we propose scoring to the competitors, or do you think we need to find judges, who haven't taken part in the contest? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:54, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

It would be excellent to find truly impartial judges. Romartus tells me he in fact doesn't know the first thing about the movie he was assigned to write about, so he might be more valuable as a judge than a writer. Likewise you, if you are not up to the challenge of writing a mature article on the chamber pot. Alternatively, an American grade-school alternative would be do declare multiple winners and promote all mainspace-worthy articles to mainspace forthwith.
I feel that Chocochew contrived a ban and used it as a badge of martyrhood, not unlike a friend of yours did in her early days. Moreover, Everyotherusernamewastaken used the disagreement to try to recruit Chocochew to another website and, after I left a stern warning on his userpage, did the same thing again. Consequently, he is a casualty for the duration of the contest weekend. Reminds me of Shabidoo last time. I've reported my actions to the Cabal, likewise my opinion that Uncyclopedia competitions are like birthday parties booked at Chuck E. Cheese and hockey games in the second overtime: Players itching to misbehave are convinced that the usual enforcement will be suspended so as not to influence the contest.
You have annoyed me in the past by advocating for newbies long after the point I thought they had become overt nuisances, but I appreciated your intervention here (which you did even before Chocochew pleaded his case to you and teased that there was an unwritten half-an-article available if you would pander to his precious wounded self-esteem). Likewise in the case of Miley, though she is no newbie. I saw nothing to take personally or be hurt about. Spıke Ѧ 20:25 1-May-15
I think I can be judge as regards the contest. I know the story as regards American Sniper but haven't seen the film or the documentary that inspired the film so perhaps best I go 'King Canute' here. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:21, May 1, 2015 (UTC)
You would be welcome in that capacity, Your Highness. (We both rose to our current positions after years of chanting, "I do not want to be the Shogun"!) Multiple judges would be welcome. I should bark at Anton199 for proposing that we acquire this new pet and then leaving me to feed it for a week. Spıke Ѧ 21:32 1-May-15
In my day, emperors were made on a field of battle and raised on a platform of shields. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:35, May 1, 2015 (UTC)
In my day, warriors returned home to their girlfriends carrying their shields or on them with a big box of chocolates. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:22, May 2, 2015 (UTC)

edit Poophead265

This. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:23, May 2, 2015 (UTC)

Good work Miss Miley! I was here to highlight your patrol efforts to Spike, what goes through these peoples heads? --EStop (talk) 07:18, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
I hate to give you fodder for your claim that we are drowning in rules, but the usual way to broadcast to Admins that a rogue user needs to be stopped is Ban Patrol, which surely existed during your former life here. At any rate, it is now taken care of. Spıke Ѧ 10:09 2-May-15
I remember Ban Patrol. But like I said I've been editing Wikipedia and other wikias which work very differently than here so I just forgot. I might add Ban Patrol to other wikias I edit. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 20:08, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
It and QVFD are pages designed to broadcast to "any Admin on duty right now," as summarized at UN:AA. Spıke Ѧ 20:21 2-May-15
That's cool. I'll check the Wikia tech support and see if I can add those to wikias I admin. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 20:35, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
Don't bother Wikia about that! There is nothing special about BP or QVFD; they are ordinary pages in the Project space (with archives as subpages). All you would have to do is notify any fellow Admins and (ssh!) establish a rule. Spıke Ѧ 20:40 2-May-15
I wish I had taken care of Master Poophead with the Rollback all button (documented in UN:HAX) because it marks both edits "bot edits" so they normally don't show up in RecentChanges. That would let users skip the vandalism and revert. However, I did not wake up for several more hours, and spent much of the morning not writing comedy for no pay but doing radio for no pay, and tomorrow I'll be announcing a baseball game for no pay. (My co-host noted that there is a common thread to these pastimes.) Spıke Ѧ 20:46 2-May-15

edit Poophead275

Looks like Mr Poophead275 is trying to earn himself a perma-ban. Yours and ScottPat's talks were blanked (this unsigned comment was brought to you by the folks at ScottPat Panty Liners. Or just ScottPat). DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:28, May 4, 2015 (UTC)

edit Other poopheads

  • 23:00, 2015 May 5: Poophead285 tried to register
  • 21:43, 2015 May 6: Poophead295 tried to register

Blocked by Abuse Filter. Spıke Ѧ 10:38 7-May-15

  • 17:56, 2015 May 9: Pooophead285: Had to get him myself

edit Talk:Asian women

Excuse me. The comment I tried to remove is ancient, was never responded to, had no impact on the discussion or article, refers to content that no longer exists, and isn't funny. Why are you willing to have an edit war to preserve it? -Jatopian (talk) 20:41, May 2, 2015 (UTC)

"In the case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written." (From my canned Welcome message, and that of several other welcomers.) You can disavow any of your past comments like this but you must not edit the past. I am willing to do more than have an edit war. Spıke Ѧ 20:49 2-May-15
I didn't get a canned welcome message, possibly because my account predates the Wikia merge. Regardless, Talk pages have History too, do they not? -Jatopian (talk) 22:14, May 2, 2015 (UTC)
I was neither claiming you should have known, nor that Forensic Uncyclopedians could not find the old text no matter what is edited. Neither of these points are relevant. Spıke Ѧ 23:01 2-May-15

edit OFF: Wikia

How did you do this wikia have the visual equal to that of Wikipedia? I crate a wikia but also the look of it is very different, how to edit it is strange ... I know my topic has much to do with the purpose of this Village Dump, but do not know where else to ask this, and I would like your help. Thank you.

My wikia: 21:49, May 4, 2015 (UTC)

The MediaWiki software used by Wikia converts what you type in the edit box to a web page. Wikia attaches the surrounding materials. Admins can override this by writing sitewide CSS and JavaScript. Ours, such as at MediaWiki:Uncyclopedia.css and MediaWiki:Uncyclopedia.js, try to imitate the look-and-feel of Wikipedia. We offer an option for Wikia users who want the look-and-feel of other Wikia sites. Spıke Ѧ 21:58 4-May-15
Thanks for the answer. But how can I do so that my wikia stay with the appearance of Uncyclopedia? Could you please help me? 22:34, May 4, 2015 (UTC)
I notice that the main page of your wiki has no text in it, and perhaps you should provide some sample content before worrying about how it looks. Now, you can get your wiki to look closer like ours by copying our MediaWiki:Common.css and MediaWiki:Common.js to your wiki. I don't know how we got Uncyclopedia to be a choice of skin here. But you could look at our Uncyclopedia files and merge that code into your Common files. Ultimately, you will need to recruit a user who knows CSS and JavaScript, because it is very easy to produce a result that will keep anything from displaying at all. Spıke Ѧ 22:54 4-May-15
Assim: Common.Js and Common.css ? 23:06, May 4, 2015 (UTC)
That would be it. Do you notice a difference yet? (Don't write to me in Portuguese; it's almost Spanish, but it forces me to guess.) Spıke Ѧ 23:09 4-May-15
Still not working, and has cleared the cache. Written in Portuguese by mistake, but soon repaired then. It would not be to copy of MediaWiki:Uncyclopedia.css and MediaWiki:Uncyclopedia.js? See my css and my jss. 23:27, May 4, 2015 (UTC)
I've created a Test file. It is encouraging that "Editar" appears just to the right of the section head, as it does on Wikipedia. But it doesn't appear as "[Editar]". If you would edit "Test" to use an illustration that exists on the site, we will see if the thumbnail renders as it does on Wikipedia. Spıke Ѧ 23:52 4-May-15
PS--Some of the system text is in Portuguese on your wiki. The real "Common" file might even be under another name. I hope I have given you an overview, but I think that, to get this right, you need reference information or personal assistance from Wikia. Spıke Ѧ 00:04 5-May-15
Now I can't longer edit the source code, only appears for editing in the visual editor. And I did not see where the codes in Portuguese to which you refer. 04:21, May 5, 2015 (UTC)
If you have one way left to edit these files, I would reverse the changes and ask Wikia for help. Otherwise, I would ask Wikia for help. Explain to them what you are trying to do. Sorry if I helped you mess up your wiki. Spıke Ѧ 10:05 5-May-15
No, you helped a lot, thank you! Where can I get help from the wiki here? What is the link?Did you have any place to ask for support in my language? 01:15, May 6, 2015 (UTC)
The way to contact Wikia is Special:Contact, which explains itself. I wonder what you mean by "here," as Uncyclopedia does not exist to help imitators in other languages, unless members do so as a favor. And I am not sure whether Wikia has personnel who can communicate in Portuguese (as I can't either). The key question you need answered are what these key pages such as "Common" are really called on a Portuguese-language Wikia wiki. However, the fact that your editing was disrupted is an indication that you did succeed in making changes to the files that control rendering. Spıke Ѧ 01:29 6-May-15

edit Zavarin Vanity

o lol sorry for the Vanity page i was just haveing fun with my friends i was thinking it would me ok on a comedic wiki. --Zavarin (talk) 00:25, May 5, 2015 (UTC)

No, "funny" here means funny to the (unrelated) reader, not just funny to you. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 01:02 5-May-15

edit Costa Rica

I am considering becoming an expat to Costa Rica for strategic chicken reasons, and I was wondering if you knew about Wikipedia. I briefly scanned the site, and it's a reliable source of information. User name signature pending approval by computer tilde functionality Oops, your username can't be more than 50 (talk) 17:43, May 5, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, I know of Wikipedia, being a five-year veteran of a website that spoofs it. I also know of Costa Rica (and of Costa Rica), which has no use for a reliable source of information. What was the question again? Spıke Ѧ 17:47 5-May-15
I apologize. I had incorrectly assumed Wikipedia was a spoof of Uncyclopedia. There wasn't really a question, so much as me talking (virtually) and introducing myself in a cryptic fashion. I like to talk and make friends and then convert those friends into free therapists and digital cheerleaders. Unfortunately, my humor doesn't always translate to internet banter and I apologize for that, as well. Signature still pending Oops, your username can't be more than 50 (talk) 17:56, May 5, 2015 (UTC)
An understandable mistake — their WP:Uncyclopedia article likewise has it backwards. Thanks for stopping in! Spıke Ѧ 18:00 5-May-15

edit user:Quoizer

Subj seemed to be cyberbullying Spike, then blanked the page. Did not mark as patrolled. --EStop (talk) 19:16, May 5, 2015 (UTC)

I deleted his user page outright. It was not just cyberbullying but libel. I neglected to Nuke his illustrations, and his account, but that is now done. Spıke Ѧ 19:32 5-May-15

edit UnNews:Australia to sanction good parenting

I am SO going to write this UnNews (since IrishFlukey probably won't). Wanna play with it too when I'm done? --EStop (talk) 09:00, May 6, 2015 (UTC)

He didn't sound like he would. Go wild! I will certainly be in afterward. Spıke Ѧ 09:01 6-May-15

edit Elefants

My page "Elefants" was deleted. I would like to know why. The preceding unsigned comment was added by‎ (talk • contribs)

Because it was painfully unfunny, you are not a registered user, and therefore you do not have a userspace where I might have moved it. Spıke Ѧ 14:18 7-May-15


What is the purpose of the AAAAAAAAA! page? Written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 15:56, May 7, 2015 (UTC)

The same as the purpose of the other pages here: to amuse. This one does so not just by replacing all the text with a single letter (which would get tedious) but also giving captions, templates, and the information surrounding the page the same treatment. It is one of our inside jokes. If you are thinking of VFD'ing it, use Special:WhatLinksHere/AAAAAAAA to look at the VFD archives and see past discussions. By the way, its imitations are not nearly as good. Spıke Ѧ 16:10 7-May-15

I didn't want to VFD it...because this page seems like an Uncyclopedian icon. I just didn't understand the humor in it. This epic message was written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 18:04, May 7, 2015 (UTC)

If you research the VFD archive, I didn't at first, either, but I was flipped. Spıke Ѧ 18:05 7-May-15
Don't you get it? The purpose of the page is AAAAAAAAA! :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:07, May 8, 2015 (UTC)

edit Night Shift

Morning Spike, I've pushed a mop about and emptied the bins. User: was blanking. User:Madigakabelo95 Cyberbullying - left marked as unpatrolled. --EStop (talk) 08:45, May 8, 2015 (UTC)

Likewise User:Krayox --EStop (talk) 10:12, May 8, 2015 (UTC)

Yup, those pages are now gone. The block log shows that Anon got three months about a year ago and seemed to me at the time to be a sock of another brief-but-registered user. Not that I don't enjoy the visits, but if you will post this stuff on BP and QVFD, it will be dealt with by the first Admin to show up. (Simsie stays awake five hours longer than I, and Romartus is in your own time zone.) Spıke Ѧ 10:36 8-May-15
Understood. Apologies Spike, I was hoping to put them on QVFD before you came online, but got dragged away. Know I'm still a bit slow, it's the perfect storm when age and IQ become equal! --EStop (talk) 11:12, May 8, 2015 (UTC)
—A condition that can only become more advantageous with each passing year! Spıke Ѧ 11:13 8-May-15

edit About that edit of yours in Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu...

Remember, it's not a curse to the mods of another wiki, it's a curse to the mods of a game.

You could've at least tried playing that game in ROBLOX. It's like people who can't tell Japanese architecture from Chinese call it "Eastern architecture" or an ignorant reporter being unable to pronounce "Palawan" properly :P --2nd Chance for me (talktomehere) 09:52, May 9, 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for the invitation, but I do not have to become a gamer to know that "And fuck off, Survival 303 moderators" was an inside joke that does not help Uncyclopedia look like an encyclopedia or amuse its readers. My Change Summary described "another website" not "another wiki." Spıke Ѧ 10:48 9-May-15
I know, just saying this in case you didn't know. --2nd Chance for me (talktomehere) 00:43, May 10, 2015 (UTC)

edit Bernie Sanders

Do you have any responsibility to the main Encyclopedia Spike? I have noticed that the Wikipeida entries for Bernie Sanders and Carley Fiorina - so probably a few more - have their actual signatures digitized in the right box. That seems a bit silly, for both the Wikia, but more importantly the individual. --EStop (talk) 17:15, May 10, 2015 (UTC)

Not to worry, American statesmen, like athletes, have a "funny" signature when they are signing fan autographs, wiki articles, and so on, which is completely different from the one they use when endorsing cheques. Or at least I bet you don't have a better guess. And no, I am Not All That on Wikipedia. Spıke Ѧ 17:23 10-May-15
I didn't realize that, but a good tip for when I am famous. In which case, how about I used the signature to seal a 12 Nation trans-Pacific trade deal for the US? Just to say thanks, you know. --EStop (talk) 17:34, May 10, 2015 (UTC)
See, the reason Obama can waive labor unions, states with Democrat governors, and Pelosi's husband's favorite restaurants from Obama-care is that neither Reid nor Pelosi signed it upon passage with their "real" signature. I see nothing about celebrity signatures at Wikipedia, such as at WP:MOS:BIO. Regarding trade deals (especially those for which free trade is an afterthought), there is a bill in Congress to reauthorize warrantless searches of Everything under "USA PATRIOT." Its name is "USA FREEDOM." Bet you didn't know Orwell was our Assistant Majority Leader. Spıke Ѧ 17:42 10-May-15

With words like Patriot and Freedom, I assumed SNP's Alex Salmond had got in there too and was going to start campaigning for Scottish Independence from Planet Earth. --EStop (talk) 18:00, May 10, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, I believe I saw him in Braveheart. Spıke Ѧ 18:21 10-May-15

edit Talk Page Blacklists

Am I allowed to make a blacklist for my talk page? Or is that a no-no? This epic message was written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 18:31, May 12, 2015 (UTC)

You can use however much black and/or lists in your userspace. But there is no way to keep anyone from posting to it, nor should you warn anyone away. You are having problems with someone? Spıke Ѧ 18:42 12-May-15

Not currently, I'm just taking future precautions. When I was at ED I wasn't allowed to delete posts AT ALL from my talk page and as a result I wasn't able to control the trolls. I plan to just make a list of people who repeatedly violate my talk page and strike through any future posts by them...if that happens. This epic message was written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 15:55, May 13, 2015 (UTC)

If you are being trolled (as opposed to given legitimate comment on your articles (even that you disagree with it)), list the troll at Ban Patrol. In the case of clear vandalism, just undo it. Your concern seems premature, to avoid using that other P word. Spıke Ѧ 16:01 13-May-15

I know it is, I just made rules for my talk page and I need some way of enforcing them. This epic message was written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 17:56, May 13, 2015 (UTC)

Some of your rules already existed on Uncyclopedia, and enforcement is via Ban Patrol. Spıke Ѧ 18:00 13-May-15
PS--If you make trouble on ED and the trouble follows you here, Admins will conclude that you are the trouble. Spıke Ѧ 18:02 13-May-15

Oh no...I didn't make it on ED and I wont make it here. This epic message was written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 19:32, May 13, 2015 (UTC)

I think you should ban him, he sounds like trouble. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 21:03, May 13, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Chuka Umunna to run for Labour leadership on Template:RecentUnNews

Thanks for putting this up their Spike. I notice you've slotted it in under the British GE. The GE reporting has finished now. This was supposed to be simply a British politics UnNews. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 17:27, May 13, 2015 (UTC)

It seems to me like fallout from the GE. You have no duty to add this to the GE feature page; the link on the main page lets the reader go straight to it. You really want it moved to a separate single-bullet item? Spıke Ѧ 17:37 13-May-15
PS--One oddity right before the punch line at the end of the first paragraph. The first of your three Umunna attributes seem to be disparaging; the others do not. Spıke Ѧ 17:43 13-May-15
PPS--Chuka Umunna has a good working relationship with Congress's Chakka Fattah and Motown's Chaka Khan, and is on a first-name basis with U.S. President Chuck Taylor. The race to compile the most minority-group bonus points can be seen in the U.S., as the only way to out-do a black Attorney General who happens to be anti-police was with a black female Attorney General who happens to be anti-police. Spıke Ѧ 17:59 13-May-15

edit Spring Festival results

Hi Spike! Thanks for doing the competition wrap-up and sorry for my "unexplained absence". I came back from a four-day trip to Lisbon this Monday and was busy doing the homework I have not done there. With the competition over, I am not really sure you need me, though. I can't even write Uncyclopedia articles anymore. At the same time, I should also be thinking about university... So just wanted to tell you not to be surprised if I leave again, for an unknown period of time. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 21:14, May 13, 2015 (UTC)

Sheesh! We get you a kitten and I wind up cleaning the box! Spıke Ѧ 21:33 13-May-15

edit BrokenKnives

Hi Spike, I am BrokenKnives. I forgot the password to my account and the password for the email address to my account. Is there any way to fix this? Let me know on this page. If you want proof that I am BrokenKnives, ask me a question that only BrokenKnives could answer. I will answer as fast as possible. -- 19:07, May 15, 2015 (UTC)

It should be possible (on the "Log in" screen) to induce Uncyclopedia to email you a new password. There is nothing you can ask me that only BrokenKnives could answer, as this is a wiki. Oh, I see, you forgot everything. In the future, please write everything on your forehead so you don't lose it. (Use a mirror, both when writing and when reading it later.) User talk:Sannse might be able to tell that is the IP address you have been using all along; I cannot. I must just assume you are a Darthpedian who wants me to help him sabotage BrokenKnives's account in order to write vile filth in his name. Spıke Ѧ 19:13 15-May-15

edit UnNews:Rival gangs battle to a draw in Waco‎

Are you thinking about covering Waco at all Spike? Not getting much inspiration from the newswires at the minute, I can do a piece on Umunna quitting the Labour leadership race only after three days... he's more Tory than Cameron. I've got a daft, black humor on a teddy bear's picnic in mind which might offset a hard hitter, that has some shelf life. --EStop (talk) 09:08, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

Umunna going back on his decision is already old news in my opinion (last Thursday I think). But Spike need to take down my Umunna newspiece if it is still up. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 09:37, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
That's what was in the back of my mind. Umunna is still in the headline pages and some of the broadsheets are now speculating the whys. It might be worth doing a short one if Spike wants to keep your leadership piece up. Happy to do Waco, but Spike would write a better article than me on this story, thought to ask in case he had any intention to do that this morning. --EStop (talk) 10:08, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
Waco? I seem to recall hearing about a massacre there that, notably, did not require the U.S. Department of Justice to start it! Will investigate. Ooh! "black humor"! very good. Spıke Ѧ 10:43 18-May-15
UnNews Logo Potato
UnNews Senior Editors are currently inserting right-wing bias into this related article:
The last time I had an UnNews overtaken-by-events, I appended daily updates. If you want to do that, I'll re-headline it on the Front Page.
I've read the wires and don't see a comedy angle except developing the stereotype of Texans, harking back to the Clinton-era massacre, or trying to tie in the Juárez Dance Gang (Los Norteños), about which Smuggler (the Bullshit Bandito) had an UnNews saga a couple years ago. More random ideas for Umunna are above in Sec.18. Spıke Ѧ 10:53 18-May-15
I'll have a go with Umunna then. The Waco thing I was going to do an analysis on the character of the typical biker (as you indeed see as the only real comedy angle) and the "playground" argument that lead to this. Interested to learn more about Umnna's connection with the US. Right wing bias? Ha ha! I wonder if Labour decided to race-away from that at the last minute, because he is loaded...and highly qualified..... and smart...and therefore a Tory really. Must have been some interesting discussions between the Labour Old-Guard and the uber-liberal public-relations/image girls.... --EStop (talk) 11:19, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
Am working on Waco now, but a blur with Umunna doesn't jump out at me. Spıke Ѧ 11:21 18-May-15
Okay, I'll take another look around, see what jumps out.--EStop (talk) 11:28, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
Goodness, what if the British Left got so enamored of tokenism that they embraced a leader who was actually on the Right? Over here, such self-sabotage only occurs on the Right. Spıke Ѧ 11:38 18-May-15
Umunna was almost that very watershed, and not convinced we have seen the last of him either.... Going to do a story on the hacked passenger plane.--EStop (talk) 12:13, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
Talking of self-sabotage I had an idea of writing an article on how two of the three large Union backers who founded the Labour Party and are quite literally responsible for its existence, are now discussing whether to withdraw from the Labour Party due to its jerk rightwards in the past decade or two. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:56, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
So Cameron is such a horrible right-winger that he has created a gaping marketing opportunity? (Oops...more bias on my part.) Spıke Ѧ 13:01 18-May-15

It's worse than that. Cameron would be worried Umunna might leave him looking a bit like Arthur Scargill, well, Rupert Scargill at least. Umunna gives me the impression he'll ask who your tailor is as a conversion ice breaker. --EStop (talk) 13:19, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

It would be a hoot devising a dialogue between him and "Joe Cool" Obama. Spıke Ѧ 13:35 18-May-15
That's a good idea, it's been a while since we had "an UnNews interview with...". I'll have a look at that tonight. Thanks for the copy-edit and nice addition in the lede reference "other passengers". I was a bit stumped as how to address that. --EStop (talk) 15:47, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
It stems from a serious (but funny) flaw in the decades-long rush to make mishaps impossible, mentioned as a solution to the Germanwings crash and mentioned in my current rail-crash UnNews: If you propose to wrest control from the madman and transfer it to the sane outsider, how do you guarantee that the outsider is not a madman?! Spıke Ѧ 15:52 18-May-15
There's just a thing about Italian ships and South-East Asian airlines planes that allows the worst to happen to them sometimes. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 16:03, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

edit Apology from Thetruemariozplaze

I hope you were able to get my apology on my talk page:

“Actually, I never was very inept in...history...and its not that I don't value your opinion, I just want to get other people's as well”
~ Me

I was trying to write the article in a similar fashion to the game itself. Because the whole thing about the game is that it has very simple gameplay but an overly confusing hidden backstory. I trying for an article that was written like what the article is written about, if you understand what I mean. But that's neither here nor there. I hope you accept my apology, I do value your opinions and I feel that you are a pretty nice guy and I appreciate all the help you've given me since I joined, despite how irritating I may have been. This epic message was written by Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 15:02, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

edit Fart rape

It does exist, Spike. There was even a conference on it at University of Toronto back in 2013. It was carefully researched, but I didn't want to name any names, such as the woman leading the U of T CUPE local who made a big deal of it. Yes, this is for real. Phrank Psinatra (Talk) 19:08, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

Hmm, I see. So, is your article original comedy? Spıke Ѧ 19:10 18-May-15
Well, it is in the sense that the originators were researchers and theorists and not comedians. I just had to take it that one step farther. Phrank Psinatra (Talk) 19:18, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
All right, restored (at Fart rape); please add material to clue the reader that you didn't pull this out of your ass, as it were. Also remember to code photos on a line by themselves, and press Enter at the end, usually preceding the paragraph they are to go with. Spıke Ѧ 19:20 18-May-15
Thanks Phrank Psinatra (Talk) 19:59, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

edit Hey

Good to see there's still at least one person I still know here. :) -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 19:21, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

Welcome back! Surely you knew Romartus; he's now the prominent bureaucrat Admin. ChiefjusticeDS has mostly retired to paint-sniffing, but he accepted an invitation to judge our recent writing contest. Would you like to be the next surprise celebrity judge, like next month? Spıke Ѧ 19:24 18-May-15
Sounds fun, why not? I'll try and stick around, but if I forget, ping me an email to remind me. -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 19:38, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
I'll ask on your talk page and see if anything happens. Wikia switched off Special:EmailUser with our consent as some of our writers were getting poached/harrassed. Spıke Ѧ 19:40 18-May-15

edit One-hour ban of Thetruemariozplaze

Funny stunt!...That was pretty fun dude! Really funny! Does that count as Vanity or something? Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 19:34, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

Joke bans are way down in the last couple years (at my insistence) but you walked right into one by posting on your user page that you are were a ban virgin. Spıke Ѧ 19:35 18-May-15

Well I'm glad I am not the type who can't take a joke, or I would have probably done something stupid. I didn't realise that it would be an issue to say that I was, I was just trying to look for userboxes to use and decided to that. Thetruemariozplaze (Talk to me) 14:20, May 19, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews:ISIS victory takes Obama by surprise

Could we feature this on our fb page? It seems decent enough. As a plus we can then inform the writer that his contribution has made it onto an fb page, which may bring more likes for us. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 09:58, May 19, 2015 (UTC)

Both of your UnNews went on the FB page yesterday Spike.. Do you check, or want me to let you know in future? Very happy either way. --EStop (talk) 10:50, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
I went to bed before even putting this on the Front Page. It needs more than, "Iraq is lost, Obama goes, 'Duh.'" Gentlemen? Spıke Ѧ 11:10 19-May-15
I see you have done some improving. ("Truck's" as the plural must be EStop.) But the fourth paragraph, for instance, is straight rhetorical argument, in the voice of the "news reporter." No one would get away with this in the real world (except Clinton donor/moderator and Trusted News Voice George Stephanopoulus). And the lede is wrong; what happened is what happened; how X felt about what happened is not the news, unless you want to re-headline it and change the approach entirely. Spıke Ѧ 11:21 19-May-15
Yes, I am able to look at the Facebook page, and without even switching on pix and JavaScript to burn up more megabytes. It is astonishing to see articles that I did not know about, and I suspect self-promotion is at work (but then, that's Facebook) (but then, this is Uncyclopedia). Spıke Ѧ 11:21 19-May-15
Okay, I have made it a smorgasbord of the current American partisan cluster-bleep. One style note: Please don't insert ," Kerry said, " in a place in the sentence where a comma wouldn't fit; reads oddly. Also, MediaWiki:Sitenotice now advertises the Facebook page as requested. Spıke Ѧ 11:52 19-May-15
"I suspect self-promotion is at work". None of the featured articles nor featured images that have been put up were either EStop's, Romartus' or mine. With respect, this is a bit of a rash accusation. The UnNews have been taken straight from the ones on the front page, and the featured images and articles have been taken from the archives (and chosen based on which ones I liked and thought were appropriate).
I take it you are not happy enough with Johnny's UnNews to go up on fb. Thanks for the reply and I'm glad you too are enjoying the material that our fb page has thrown up. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:03, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
My apologies, I've just checked recent changes. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:06, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
No, I just thought the UnNews had too much raw partisanship. (It is now just as partisan but less raw, and is on the Front Page.) I do not have to be happy with something to have it go onto Facebook, obviously. Self-promotion or not, there is a risk of drama if Facebook becomes another forum for honoring articles with a different set of criteria, namely, insiders' opinions. Separately, do you want to pick a recent audio and post it? Spıke Ѧ 12:08 19-May-15
A recent audio for UnNews? Could you point me to somewhere I could find them? Facebook won't become that Spike. If you don't want my opinions to go into which featured articles we pick, pray tell me how else I am supposed to pick them. I have simply posted featured articles that aren't controversial. I started with one from 2005, then one from 2006, then one from 2007. The HowTo:Kill two birds with one stone has become the most popular post on the fb page (according to fb). My next featured article will be from 2008. If you would prefer to select it yourself, you can post it below and I'll put it up tomorrow. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:16, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
No, the solution is not to have my personal opinion replace your personal opinion. If the material has been voted FA, then my concern is mistaken. The five last UnNews Audio features are always on the Front Page, just above your TV Guide. Spıke Ѧ 12:23 19-May-15
Cheers. I had never noticed that before. Next time an UnNews comes out with an audio I'll post both up together. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:26, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
Don't post an article twice; when I do an audio, I modify the UnNews article to point to it with (Gnome-speakernotes listen). Spıke Ѧ 12:29 19-May-15
Thanks for padding that out Spike, you got in there before me (sorry, crew pay day today, so disappeared for a bit). Delighted to post your audio. With regards to deciding what to put on the site, the thinking is to reflect the main page and UnNews page here, plus a balance of styles and types of articles. Like a showcase of the best. One discussion was to post UnNews as it comes in and is considered good enough for feature by yourself (as the Editor of UnNews, I think that is important). That keeps the FB page current. Unfortunately, as it is only you and I that contribute to UnNews in the main, it will end up with our work on the site. That said, I am conscious that if it appears that there are the same people going up, there is little motivation to write with the FB page in mind too. I don't mind at all not having my UnNews or articles posted on FB, but perhaps it would be better still to persuade some of our writers to get into a bit of UnNews too. As for the main articles, I have stood back to watch Scott, then picked an article or two that are the other end of the spectrum.
The FB site has to reflect this site as much as possible so if you, or any of the other older hands, feel at any time the direction is wrong, very pleased to hear ideas, steers and sources of good articles etc. In fact, it is important that the community feel the site is representative of Uncyclopedia. We are still finding our feet a bit, so advice is always welcome. --EStop (talk) 12:42, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
D'accord. Do you think the fact that our catchline is on Facebook ("...that anyone can edit") makes it clear enough that, if readers like/dislike what they are looking at, they are welcome to try to outdo it? Spıke Ѧ 12:47 19-May-15
It's something I have been thinking about too. How about every few article posts on there, we post an Uncyclopedia poster to split them up - like the one Scott did at the beginning? Maybe as the last, or penultimate post of the day? I also would like a photo album created with all the pics waiting on VFP to draw people in. Perhaps another occasional poster to draw people into VFH too? --EStop (talk) 12:55, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
I neither want to endorse this nor throw cold water on it. Inviting new contributors is our bread-and-butter, but drive-by voters on VFH and VFP annoy me. Anon half-votes are either people making decisions who bear no risk for bad decisions (who rightly should be restricted to government regulatory agencies), or fallen-away Uncyclopedians who can't resist but won't use their usernames for fear of undermining their most recent rage-quit. I would not have the page be punctuated by recruitment propaganda (especially as regular articles seem to be posted with graphics in addition to the ordinary avatar, anyway); we ought not try to arm-twist people but just display our best and make it clear that the welcome mat is out. Spıke Ѧ 13:05 19-May-15
Did you know river pilots have the same luxury? They are the "experts" on the river or estuary and "expert" ship handlers; but if they crash your boat, it is your fault - because for some reason, on promotion, we instantly know every eddy in every river and estuary in the world, better than the local pilot who has been driving there for decades. I'll think about a welcome mat/banner announcing the chance to edit (not vote), that is a good idea.--EStop (talk) 13:14, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
Advice-givers at the IRS operate with comparable impunity, though the taxpayer can probably avoid penalties on top of his additional tax assessment by pointing to the bad advice the service gave him (that is, point to his illegal recording of the conversation) (though the agency isn't answering its phones this year because of malevolent, partisan budget cuts). Spıke Ѧ 13:30 19-May-15
You two need to get round to setting up your own analogy consultancy firm in order to provide great analogies that suit any occasion at bargain prices (provided they're either US politics or maritime piloting based). SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 13:32, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
Separate from my existing Wisecrack Consultancy? Spıke Ѧ 13:36 19-May-15
On this very topic, have you seen Google, Apple etc going to Obama to stop him reading encrypted phone data for Government security benefit? As if those organizations don't do the same for financial benefit? I'll have a go at this one. --EStop (talk) 13:44, May 19, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Big Tech objects to U.S. spying proposal

About to upload the Obama story Spike. As it is a specialist subject of yours, dive in if you feel inclined as always, kept it fairly light. --EStop (talk) 15:37, May 19, 2015 (UTC)

Yikes! When using irony to call someone a hypocrite, always announce what you are doing in the very first sentence! I'm going in. Spıke Ѧ 16:44 19-May-15
Righto Spike. Thought you'd be all over that news story as soon as I saw it in the Telegraph, your edit's brilliant! --EStop (talk) 17:25, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
The Torygraph sends shivers down my spine. The news story is already on fb. Congratulations. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 17:30, May 19, 2015 (UTC)
VFH this now, and let's split the credit! Spıke Ѧ 10:23 20-May-15
Great!--EStop (talk) 12:17, May 20, 2015 (UTC)
Bet you didn't realize that UnNews articles could be FAs. Spıke Ѧ 12:33 20-May-15
I didn't! They need to be pretty good though due to the short shelf life I guess. Funnily enough, I wondered about this when patrolling this morning. Did you ever read the UnNews that was in last night's recent changes UnNews:Family upset over compliment? What a great spot; those pictures and captions too! --EStop (talk) 12:46, May 20, 2015 (UTC)
It is always a challenge to get an UnNews featured before it goes out-of-date. I have only gotten two, and none at any time during my first one-year stint as UnNews editor (which was before the era of self-nomination).
The vandalized UnNews from 2009 (and I found additional vandalism) doesn't excite me; most of the amusement was provided by the real news, and all this does is interview random caricatures on their reaction to it. Spıke Ѧ 13:08 20-May-15

edit Blanker

IP blanked on UnNews:Family upset over compliment, someone fixed it though.--EStop (talk) 08:01, May 20, 2015 (UTC)

It was Romartus; but as before, it is more likely to be seen by the first Admin to wake up if you post these at Ban Patrol. Spıke Ѧ 10:22 20-May-15
Sorry, forgotten about Ban Patrol.--EStop (talk) 10:54, May 20, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Hillary to State: Stop me before I reformat again

Just added another photo to the piece for the FB page (make it different from your earlier story). Actually I found another way to do this while I was at it... It is up now so I can remove it from your article if you wish Spike. --EStop (talk) 10:12, May 20, 2015 (UTC)

No, much better. My illustration was a crop of a caricature from the New Yorker, drawn to, among other things, exaggerate Hillary's frumpiness, and I used it to exaggerate Hillary's frumpiness. Meh! Your photo, I assume, is stolen from somewhere else, but has actual comedy added, which is exculpatory in our book.
When a Republican proposes a balanced-budget bill, term-limits bill, or other "good government" legislation, the instinctive response is to ask the politician why he doesn't simply provide good government by exercising restraint himself. The stock wisecrack in these situations is, "Stop me before I spend again!" I was on my neighbor's porch watching him smoke a Lucky Strike, we were discussing Hillary's skullduggery, and the above adaptation came to mind. So even though the Front Page is brimming lately, I had to do a story to live beneath that headline. The first wire story I pulled up had so many openings, such as the AP/GfK poll, that it "wrote itself." (Has it gotten so bad that the Associated openly discusses doubts with a Democratic candidate?) Sorry to knock off your story about the iPlane; it's very creative and with a good illustration and has been up barely one day, but the other four are still live in the real news. Spıke Ѧ 10:22 20-May-15
No problem, a great article on Hillary. I'm Glad to see we are getting good input from Jonny Appleseed too now. Over here, the problem was ministers using tax payers money to cover costs of second homes in London, then switching their "second home" to their "first home" on the form; then renting the second-first-home to, say, a family member. As well as cleaning moats and refurnishing, or covering the porn bill if staying at a hotel of course. Nevertheless they were acting "within the rules" so it's ok, and should bear no reflection on their character as "responsible leaders", with the UK in the forefront of their minds (as well as their pockets). --EStop (talk) 10:51, May 20, 2015 (UTC)
Jonny's stories tend to need refining to comply with the terms of Poe's law, as his stories often include undressed advocacy, but he has a knack for finding and exploiting irony. And we have Romartus in abeyance; his wacky, fairy-tale-based approach is refreshingly different.
Misconduct with the expense account is mundane, not just in the legislature but in the corporate world, and it needs to be paired with something like a notorious public expression of piety to be a winner.
At the end of my Source in the Hillary story is a note from the AP author that the Republican campaign has been "consumed" by a debate on the Iraq war: an artificial invitation to second-guess initiated by reporters. "Which would you rather do, disparage the American people or disparage your party's most recent President?" This is funny but will be hard to boil down. The kicker is that, at the start of the Iraq war, Democrat Hillary was essentially a Republican too. Spıke Ѧ 11:04 20-May-15

edit User:Bacquelmore/Trisophrène

Hi, i wrote a article called "Trisophrène" in french. This article has been delete because it was not wrote in english. I didn't know that i had to go to the french part of the website, i didn't know there was a french part... I had no save from my article, so i would like to know if you have any save from it because i can't find any draft / save in log or anywhere else and i'm feeling very bad about it... Thanks in advance ! The preceding unsigned comment was added by Bacquelmore (talk • contribs)

Now restored at the address shown above. Spıke Ѧ 16:15 20-May-15

edit UnNews:David Letterman

Could you add a link to UnNews:Hours After 'Late Show' Final Episode, David Letterman Thrown in Dumpster to the Main page? I didn't know who to ask so I'll ask another admin too so whoever sees this first. :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 19:52, May 22, 2015 (UTC)

edit FUCK (Security vulnerability) deletion

Dude, you have no idea what that article was about. I was a joke for insiders, obviously not you. Sucker --M142857 (talk) 22:01, May 22, 2015 (UTC)

Seems I had a perfect idea that your article was not written to be funny to our general audience. Any more trolling and you are done here. Spıke Ѧ 22:03 22-May-15
.. and I want to have my text back! It took me long nonneglible time to write it. So recover it somehow. Thanks. --M142857 (talk) 22:05, May 22, 2015 (UTC)
I am freaking serious. If thou know a method how to recover the deleted article contents, kindly insert that data e.g. in my discussion page. Thank you, good day, and regards, --M142857 (talk) 22:13, May 22, 2015 (UTC)

edit Malta

Why didn't you say that the part you didn't like was about the perfs/faggots? If you had said so, I would have changed it.

Every single edit I've made here has been deleted. I'm done with this website. Bye. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

I feel for you; it must be tough to visit a website where you can't write about perfs and faggots and take a long, unfunny list and pull it further in the same direction. There is one easy way to get an explanation and even patient instruction: register a user name. But you're done with this website. Bye. Spıke Ѧ 13:27 23-May-15
If you were Maltese, you would have got the joke regarding the theatre, parliament etc (Renzo Piano's City Gate Project) and the perfs. I thought you can add anything which is funny here, but every single edit i made was deleted and I'm annoyed. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)
No, "annoyance" is getting your IP banned for three months. Obviously you can get another, but it won't be able to edit Malta either. Editorial disagreements we can negotiate; snapping your fingers and posturing about how annoyed you are, we cannot. Spıke Ѧ 13:51 23-May-15
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