User talk:SPIKE

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Uncyclopedia:Pee Review

In the "Articles that need Reviewing" section could you, please, replace "category=Pee Review" with "category=Feedback requested"? This will make the pages that have been reviewed LITE display on the list, as articles still needing to be reviewed. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:19, May 30, 2014 (UTC)

This is done. It hasn't changed the listing right now, but at least it didn't break anything. Spıke ¬ 10:25 30-May-14
Thanks! I'll check it again a bit later. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:27, May 30, 2014 (UTC)

Return of the Jedi

I get not wanting to dignify Star Trek Enterprise with an actual page; but Jedi not having a page when nameless council member guy gets one? I mean with the prequels it's no longer the worst Star Wars movie. Irritable of contents (talk) 03:51, June 2, 2014 (UTC)

It has nothing to do with what I think of Star Trek Enterprise. We simply don't want to have unfunny stubs littering the encyclopedia in case someone wants to communicate with you. To solicit a group edit, you might start a Forum topic at B.H.O.P. Uncyclopedia famously has neither consistency nor a guarantee that a major topic will be given the same prominence as a minor one. If dissatisfied, get to work! Spıke ¬ 11:37 2-Jun-14

Graphium

Hi Spike. Please help me to delete my account, or if you can't, then request someone with the right to do so to execute it. Thanks. Graphium

Neither we nor anyone else deletes accounts nor covers tracks. You are welcome to go away and forget your password, but I am sorry to see you go. Spıke ¬ 11:35 2-Jun-14

File:Uk layout.jpg

As you can see in the history of the image, I have tried loading up an image 3 times. The first and second images are the effect I want. I keep loading up the images but on the current image the writing disappears, but if I load up another copy of the image the writing appears back on the old one but there is no on the current version. (you're probably asking "What's the joke?" well it's mainly IRALAND)--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 20:18, June 2, 2014 (UTC)

I cannot see anything, as I usually run with images off (for economy), and don't have to switch them on to tell you that there is a latency problem with thumbnails of drafts when you upload a new version. If you think you've done it right, just wait...a few hours. Spıke ¬ 20:25 2-Jun-14

As you know a signature is supposed to be a temple like {{User:SPIKE/signature}}. but when I sign it comes up as

<span class="sigexpand">[[User:TheWikiMan026|'''TheWikiMan026''']]<span class="sighidden">''Up Red, White & Blue!''</span></span> [[User talk:TheWikiMan026|Chater]] [[File:Norn Iron Flag.jpeg|17px]]

Even tough in my preferences it says

{{User:TheWikiMan026/sig}}

Any help?--TheWikiMan026Up Red, White & Blue! Chater Norn Iron Flag 18:15, June 3, 2014 (UTC)

When you follow the instructions, it will work. Spıke ¬ 19:12 3-Jun-14
Chatter? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:10, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
what's wrong with chatter?--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:36, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

The image works now--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:36, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

i am unbeatsr

after 3 block, I promised now and future I am here to contribute . But I have 2 account. unbeatsr and Hellowhiteccc. two account created at same time.just to tell you.please don't blocked me as sock.UNBEATSR09:06, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

I have no way of verifying the assertion that the two accounts are the same person, except to ask for a checkuser, which you are not worth. I do know that you are you, and you have done virtually nothing here but vandalize and troll. Hellowhiteccc has not done anything worthwhile, but in a couple cases cleaned up messes left by Unbeatsr.
As Unbeatsr asserts that there is sockpuppetry going on, one of the accounts must go. I pick yours. Spıke ¬ 11:29 4-Jun-14

Ban

Please pass this on to admin SPIKE:

“To separate some guidance from your talk page into a file called "Fixed Problems," and then QVFD that file, is to try to expunge the fact that you were given the guidance.”
~ You

You said not to have a page like that so I QVFDed it.

“When you find a page that has adopted an American convention, such as the location of the day number at QVFD, do not assume it needs conversion to the British convention. (Or vice versa.)”
~ You

I just write dates like that. Nowhere on the QVFD policy does it say "Do not write dates the British way."

“When you see an "error" in the day's Featured Article, such as an assertion that Brits in distress dial 0800, do not "correct" it either. Because this is a humor wiki.”
~ You

OK, I didn't know what it meant

--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:42, June 6, 2014 (UTC)

Second point is an Uncyclopedian rule. Considering Uncyclopedia adopts many British ways of doing things such as the Order of Uncyclopedia, we let the Americans have some recognition by writing the dates the wrong way round in QVFD.
0800 is the start to phone numbers that charge the called and not the caller. How this can be linked to a Brit stereotype I'm not sure but I don't know the context of the "joke". Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:24, June 6, 2014 (UTC)
The joke is that, at some point in the life of this article, someone felt the need to qualify the citation of 911 (rather than 999) as the emergency phone number. I thought it would highlight the cluelessness of the encyclopedia editor to assert that Brits dial Freephone 0800 instead. Spıke ¬ 19:29 6-Jun-14
If it is a comparison to US then, yes, it does work. Like I say I have no clue what article we are discussing or where the WikiMan is quoting from. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:21, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry about the "Please pass this on to admin SPIKE" as I writ this on Ghelae's Wikipedia page to pass this to you The preceding unsigned comment was added by TheWikiMan026 (talk • contribs)

"Writ"? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:37, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
What about it?--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 14:56, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
"I writ this"? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:01, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Yes I writ that--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:59, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Oh, ok. Just found a dictionary entry about this: "Writ - archaic past participle of write".Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:03, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Again Anton, the English language. Why the hell does the rest of the World bother to learn it! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:18, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Technically, "Writ" is incorrect grammar but that's what you say in Fermanagh--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:42, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

User talk:TheWikiMan

When I was creating my unacount I was originally meant to be called TheWikiMan. There was something wrong and it didn't work so TheWikiMan doesn't exist.--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 18:30, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

Hey

So, um... there's that. The Bizarro Uncyc featured one of my articles recently, and I was notified by email. Coincidentally, I was doing my check for this decades email, and only knew and responded by chance. I actually don't know anything about this whole split thing, and suspect I don't care. Well, maybe a little bicurious... no, no... I promised myself I wouldn't go there.

Hope all is well with you. We are OK. Things are difficult, but then, so is golf. I hear. I don't care for it myself. Or guns. I don't care if anyone else has one, they just scare the hell out of me. Oh, look... you've made me pee myself thinking about guns... gotta go clean up.

Take care, dude. Continue to be Spike. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:04, June 8, 2014 (UTC)

User:Meibion Glyndŵr

As you can see in the headline, I tried moving "User:ConCass2/Meibion Glyndŵr" to a main-space page, but something went wrong and now I'm stuck with this monstrosity which I can't move from the user-space, I assume it's because only admins can, since it says "You do not have permission to do this". Can you help out on this? ConCass2 (talk) 21:25, June 10, 2014 (UTC) - on the other hand, would pasting the source of the article into a "Meibion Glyndŵr" page and then Quick VFDing this user space one work? ConCass2 (talk) 21:28, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

You are the latest to be trapped by our fancy advanced user interface. If moving to mainspace, you must use the pulldown menu so it does not continue to point to User: space. (If you can see the Move button, you have permission to use it. You don't have permission to delete a page if there were already one at the destination. Spıke ¬ 21:46 10-Jun-14
PS--You tried a second time and got this right. But all that was left at the source address was the redirect to your article at the wrong address, and that is what you moved. Spıke ¬ 21:54 10-Jun-14

Hi Spike! Have you noticed the main Uncyclopedia logo is overwriting custom logos on user pages including your talk page? -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:20, June 11, 2014 (UTC)

I had not, as I only view the meat and not the bread. It could well be something I did. But Wikia changed the page coding, as mentioned at Forum:Thumbnails are broken. I'll look into it, but perhaps it will have to wait until I'm at the library. Spıke ¬ 21:02 11-Jun-14
I can see (in MediaWiki:Common.js) that function logotipo() takes pains to ensure that the custom logo is installed early. (There is a comment just below the function that it is ugly to see the potato for a split-second before the change.) And Wikia's "lazy load" change of last year seeks to postpone some operations, famously the Table of Contents, to accelerate the load of text content. On computers, if two operations are separated in time, the later one has a nagging tendency to prevail. I seem to recall this being reported before — ScottPat, do you remember? Spıke ¬ 21:32 11-Jun-14
Now reported to Wikia (bug report #141014). Spıke ¬ 21:59 11-Jun-14

PuppyOnTheRadio researched this and found that the key was that JavaScript was switched off. {{Logo}} and {{Nologo}} are available to remove the potato logo from a page, to replace it with an author-specified logo, and in fact to drop an author-specified illustration on top of the potato, as in our "Featured Article" logo. The templates can add content and fix it at a location on the page, but our only way to remove stuff from a page is to write code in JavaScript (which, again, is in MediaWiki:Common.js), triggered by the code inserted by the template. If you run with JavaScript off, you may indeed see two photos where you only want one. The stuff seems to be working exactly as described, and I will owe Wikia an apology for another wild-goose chase. Spıke ¬ 14:54 16-Jun-14

Hallo

I see you've got some fingers. those are nice fingers. Uhh. Communicate... breathe. in. out. in out. Hi. My name is Fonchezzz. Uh. I came back here. And I'm wearing my nicest shoes and a sweatervest. I tried to make myself presentable. Is uh. Articles. Those are written here. How about those.............. weathers? Clouds right? Hopefully it's sunny this weekend. yeah?--Muhduckmuhduck|Fonchezzz| Quacking|Muhduckmuhduck2 16:42, June 17, 2014 (UTC)

Memory Delta wiki images

Can you please upload 26 images to my wiki, Memory Delta wiki. Can you upload them today, thanks. Beanna. Please upload the images to my wiki, today. Beanna.

1.Icarus-like planet.jpg

2.P4X-351.jpg

3.IB-Logo.jpg

4.P3R-233.jpg

5.Drive.jpg

6.Jump.jpg

7.Samantha Carter (Point of View).jpg

8.QuantumMirror.jpg

9.QM1.jpg

10.Icarus base F-302 Hangar.jpg

11.Controldevice2.jpg

12.Controldevice.jpg

13.A Room of Alternate Samantha Carters.jpg

14.Qetesh (Continuum reality).jpg

15.E. Young.jpg

16.David T.jpg

17.Samantha Carter (alternate 2).jpg

18.Carter (Point of View reality II).jpg

19.Col. Sam Carter.jpg

20.Helen smile.jpg

21.Sam smile.jpg

22.Icarus Base.jpg

23.Carolyn Lam 2.jpg

24.Weir 2.jpg

25.Rose O'Reilly.jpg

26. Rose O'Reilly 2.jpg

The answer is the same as the last time you asked. I have no account there. I cannot upload anything there. Uncyclopedia is not your disk farm, nor a home for masturbation fodder. Your articles are not funny. Your photos are gone. You are banned. Spıke ¬ 02:50 23-Jun-14

Spike, I added quite a few things to Helen Magnus, so could I please have it back, in my userspace for example? if Beanna is banned, I'll work on it alone, and he can help me if he returns. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:27, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

There you go. Let me know if you would like a moderate number of the associated illustrations. Spıke ¬ 11:10 23-Jun-14

Ah, no, I'll find my own. Thanks! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:34, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

Welcoming new users

“Your welcome file does not seem to correctly render the name of the user in question.”
~ Spıke ¬ 

I don't know why but if you go on The file itself it works correctly TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 20:59, June 22, 2014 (UTC)

I will tell you why. When you use <Noinclude>, it means you can see it in "the file itself" but not in the places you include it — obviously. I don't see why you put it there, nor why you can't copy a Welcome file literally. There is your answer. Fix it before you use it again. Spıke ¬ 02:53 23-Jun-14

I don't know if TheWikiMan fixed it, but it worked when I put it on my talkpage. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:49, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
I got it: TheWikiMan, when you are adding this file to someone's talkpage, put subst: in front of its name, so it looks like {{subst:User:TheWikiMan026/Welcome}}

This will fix everything, and another benefit is that if you change the welcome template later or even delete it, it won't affect all the talkpage where you used it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:54, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

When I go on the file itself it says <includeonly>--TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:15, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

UnNews:World Cup draw claimed "cruel and unusual"

On the topic of photos, feel free to find one for UnNews:World Cup draw claimed "cruel and unusual". Spıke ¬ 13:54 23-Jun-14

Done! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:26, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

I appreciate that! but gave it a different caption that takes the joke in an additional direction. Spıke ¬ 15:36 23-Jun-14

Sure. It's your text! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:46, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

Wow, an American who knows about and even follows the World Cup! Soon you shall all be incorporated into the "religion". Nice article although just thought I'd point out that the 32 competitors are withered down to 16 at the end of the group stage and not 28, as only 2 of 4 from each group progress and there are 8 groups. Not sure whether that was a deliberate unfact or not. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:50, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
Fans who live near Boston are notorious for following every sporting competition until the minute the local entrant drops out of contention. I will not be in the religion, as one cannot keep a scorecard for soccer. The current dither to whittle 32 competitors down to a full 16 is so pointless that I chose to exaggerate the pointlessness; in other words, it's a joke. Spıke ¬ 18:28 23-Jun-14
In fact, 20 million Americans watched this match. In fact, the U.S. hosted a World Cup one year, coinciding with the creation of Major League Soccer with its panoply of washed-up European stars and teams like "D.C. United" that did not unite anything but sound vaguely famous. And Boston-area fans are fixated on the Premiership, in particular, wondering how many one-dimensional players the Red Sox could sign if the owner simply sold Suarez (before he attacks again). Spıke ¬ 14:38 25-Jun-14
Nice. And now you guys outcompeting us! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:21, June 25, 2014 (UTC)

Special:CloseMyAccount

I found this special page, which allows you to disable your account. (When you are afraid it might get hacked, I presume, and you don't need it.) In the past, some people have asked to delete their accounts, so maybe if there are more such occasions redirecting them to that page would be a good idea? It works well (I tested it).

Separately, thank you for making the introduction of Napoleonic Wars readable! I was mainly searching for logical connection between the different jokes that were there, and you helped a lot! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:19, June 24, 2014 (UTC)

This is remarkable, as I have often been told the opposite, and have repeated to newbies that they cannot close an account but merely abandon it (and fight us when we undo their page-blanking). Glad your test didn't work too well. Let me contact Wikia and see what the status of this is. 11:30 24-Jun-14 My query is Bug Report #142613. Spıke ¬ 11:47 24-Jun-14
I just reactivated it after. You are allowed to reactivate an account within a thirty days period after it's closed. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:05, June 24, 2014 (UTC)

Wikia's Tim Quievryn replies: "Thanks for contacting Wikia. Grunny, who helped write the extension, has tested it extensively on Uncyc and says it should work there just the same as it does on "normal" Wikia." He didn't directly answer the policy question, but I presume that since Wikia wrote it and tested it here, they intend that it be available for Uncyclopedians' use. Spıke ¬ 16:47 26-Jun-14

Using blocks to make regular contributors adhere to guidelines instead of using it for just vandals

Seriously, most of the time this just isn't even necessary. You think a 12 hour block is any more effective at making somebody read a policy page than simply asking them to on their talk page? This ain't wikipedia, every time you unnecessarily block a user just for disobeying some tiny rule you suck the fun out of it and make this place more like wikipedia (wikipedia isn't even this strict). That is why users rage quit, abuse of the block function when a simple "Hey now, can you not do *insert action here*" on the talk page would suffice.

The block function exists to stop disruptive users not to stamp out every new comer that you deem has stepped out of line. I've seen administrators loose their privileges on other Wiki's for giving out blocks when the talk page would do the same job, and frankly if I was a bureaucrat on this wiki I'd be very strongly thinking about it. Having said that, you do get it right most of the time, it's just the sometimes that you don't that concerns me. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 04:48, June 25, 2014 (UTC)

It's a judgement call Frosty. If Spike has got it wrong, he admits to it. I prefer leaving messages on a user's page if I think they are going off the rails. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:44, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
My general concern is that getting this judgement call wrong over and over chases away users before they have the chance to find their feet. It takes months not days for a user to get to grips with every single policy we have and why it's there. I'm mainly asking for more patience and the block button to be used sparingly against newbies that do the wrong thing without realizing it. Sorry for appearing angry about this, but it's been proven over and over again to chase away users. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 08:35, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
Not closing a ballot is no more a mere "guideline" than "Don't forge votes" is a guideline. This whole VFD thing is a kid offering to be a chauffeur and driving the car into a ditch before the reply. As I told Anton199 above, 24 hours is usually de rigueur for VFD things, and I gave him 12, a quantity discount. Another rule of thumb is that Admins don't countermand one another before discussing it. In this case, a simple push on the talk page doesn't register; we've been there; see above and in archive. Spıke ¬ 10:59 25-Jun-14
PS--In fact, he did not close the ballot "as any Admin would have done." Not when the Admin is the same one who rewrote the article under vote. For me to edit an article and then assert that the ballot is moot would be presumptuous. In fact, I was waiting for confirmation by a slightly more senior editor before Master TWM stepped in and declared the question settled. Spıke ¬ 14:38 25-Jun-14

Deleting the VFH nomination

That was just petty and nasty. What the hell is your problem SPIKE?!?!?!!!?? --ShabiDOO 18:20, June 25, 2014 (UTC)

Why was it deleted? --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 21:15, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
It is astonishing to claim that deleting a VFH nomination where nominator starts the voting at +4 reflects a bad attitude, while the continual name-calling above (now moved to User talk:TheWikiMan026) does not. The VFH nomination was re-filed correctly. All is well except the sniping. Spıke ¬ 12:17 26-Jun-14
Why couldn't you just fix the score? :P --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 12:57, June 26, 2014 (UTC)
So nasty and petty. --ShabiDOO 18:44, June 26, 2014 (UTC)

Template:VFDr

"Now hiring for a Poopsmith"
I thought I was the Poopsmith TheWikiMan026 MUN,UmP,POOP (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:44, July 3, 2014 (UTC)

All right, if you're going to do it. You took a day off in favor of self-promotion instead. Spıke ¬ 17:50 3-Jul-14

Knock-knock jokes

I have begun an article that is filled with the sort of humour that I know you don't like, but could you please review it on its merits and tell me whether it has the potential to develop into a funny article or if I should abandon my efforts while I'm ahead?--Sigphoto|(get dtf) 20:39, July 3, 2014 (UTC)

I really don't know how to react to such a bad-faith request for advice. You know my tastes, but request that I put my values aside and evaluate your page "on its merits" rather than on my values. Based on whose values, then? For starters: What's with the copyright notice? Stuff here can't be copyrighted. It doesn't belong in the encyclopedia, perhaps in UnBooks. I can't believe it's original. I can't believe you think I need to render an opinion on this not-much-more-than-a-paragraph. Do please try to convince me you aren't baiting me. Spıke ¬ 03:06 4-Jul-14
Making a list of knock-knock jokes as er..just a list. Don't see how that can become an article as such. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:53, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
I suppose I shouldn't have expected a heraldic response, but this came in a more hostile tone than I thought it would. Firstly, the copyright notice was something I put in because at first the headers weren't working and I thought that would be a good set-up for a joke, though admittedly what I have there at the moment isn't very funny. I'm guessing that's the main reason why you think I've copied and pasted it. The article alludes to infamous jokes rather than makes up its own set of them, although I made up "Jesus Christ have you nothing better to do with your Sunday?" and "Samson Galaxy". The concept is also my idea. If I take this article off my userpage, I will put it in UnBooks. "baiting me"--I'm not quite sure what you mean by that, but can assure you I don't want to be banned.
Cquote1 I can't believe you think I need to render an opinion on this not-much-more-than-a-paragraph. Cquote2
I wanted my article reviewed while it's still in its infancy, but I regret asking for a review this early on.
An explanation for the request as a whole. What I wanted from your review was either--well I suppose it's here--that, this early on it could develop into something good, or that firstly you don't find what's down at the moment funny, and secondly you think that the concept is lame enough for nothing written in that goes with the themes could be funny. I asked you because I thought that you have experienced the writing of similar-concept articles and could therefore tell me if you think they are ever funny. "On its merits" was clumsily used and I can see why it upset you. What I meant was can you imagine anyone finding this funny? but I can see that was an unfair expectation too. I will write more of this, so please tell me if you would review it in the future.--Sigphoto|(get dtf) 08:29, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
I would suggest picking someone else for the review, since this is the type of humor that Spike dislikes, it is unfair to ask him to put his personal preference aside given the strong response above. I would be happy to look over whatever you develop it into and give feedback on it, as long as you don't need feedback on a weekend. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 11:07, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
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