User talk:SPIKE

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New stuff at the end, please; I'll make it fit into the section organization after the topic dies down.

Is this about UnNews or UnNews audio? If so, talk to me here.

I don't routinely put a Watch on other people's talk pages. Nothing personal! I endorse keeping a conversation together on a single talk page, but a few days after the conversation ends, I will Unwatch you--the alternative being endless false alarms.

Anything typed here I may post-edit clerically. Typically, I combine parts of dialogues that took place on the other guy's talk page. Some conversations that pertain to the text of an article are moved to that article's talk page.


Hey Spike, this is NXWave

You probably know everything about me, I was the vandal who went insane, driven a user away and made my life into total hell. Anyway, I'm writing you regarding the audio files I wanted deleted a month ago. I'd like to first off apologize for the way I've behaved back then, I was a pathetic person who was obsessed with a person from Memphis and couldn't let go of things; I parlayed that obsession onto Uncyclopedia and I disrupted it to a point where every user hates me. I don't know what I was thinking when I made Uncognito, Insignia and Nekami and I certainly didn't know what I was thinking when I tried to win an award for myself under Improver and Qua, why is it that I felt the need to try to win an award instead of playing a positive part of the community; sure awards are nice and all but I thought they were the beacon of the site, the way to instant praise. I now know this is wrong and I certainly payed the price for being wrong, a trial where everybody said fuck you to my face, the reputation of Lord Voldemort, the fact that I can never use my voice on this site again. I'm really, really sorry if I caused this site any trouble and I don't know how much I have to apologize or how much I have to do in order to make things right but I want to make things right. I have found life at a community, I don't want my negative past to fuck up my life and send me back to the one thing which gave me displeasure all of these years.

I would also like to say that Tthunder is not my sockpuppet. I know you will deny this and say it's my sockpuppet anyway just like EvaWNX but I'm going to defend myself anyway. I have edited at other places and I have respected the decision of this community regardless of how harsh it may have been. I have not had the desire to get my awards back nor do I want the awards back; I am not at the lowpoint of revising the past just so I can have an award that say I won something and I certainly didn't want to go into a fight with a user just so I can get awards back. That village dump post, that argument that I tried to make saying that I won them "fair and square", was not me. Sure, you may have more awards than I had but I'm not jealous, I'm not looking to get into a fight with you, in fact I have respect for you. Do you think that I would truly throw my life away all for some awards that I've won when I was obsessed with fucking TalkShoe and was just using this as an outlet to release my fucking obsession. I am not that person, in fact I'm the person who desperately wants a life.

I have made the mistake of saving every audio file that I've ever done under the conceit that Mordillo would of deleted them all. I want to move on from my past and they say you can't move on if you have constant reminders of the past with you. I tried to delete the image, I tried to forget but I can't truly forget unless these audio files are gone; and I'm not doing this for myself, we're both similar in that we have a determination to do things as quickly as possible. Your audio files represent the highlights, mine represent the lowlight. I have no idea what the fuck I was saying on those files and I have no constaint as to the norms of how to be acceptable in society. I've been looking at myself for quite a while now and I know what I am. Pathetic, unable to let go, unable to move on. I want to truly forget about NXWave, I want to pretend like this never happened and I can't fully do that. I can delete the files sure but the files still exist and there only so much I can do in regards to pretending. I take things literally, there's not a moment when I'm not serious and unfortunately, that's my major flaw. I really, really want the audio files deleted; I know about the argument that they're licensed under CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0 but I thought about that, I tried Wikimedia sites and they told me that the audio files wouldn't affect the major project. There would be no "ungifting" of such "contributions", anybody else can easily record another version to take their place and even the one Mordillo deleted hasn't really been missed that much.

If Mordillo likes my audio files so much then I will send him the ZIP file of which I have every audio file I have ever done; that way he can enjoy it while at the same time benefiting us both. If you can't delete my audio files then please, PLEASE give me some advice so I can get past this. I need all of the help that I can get, I tried to do the things that I've done but I can't do it, I've tried a depression forum but I can't beat the depression, I think I'm at the point where I'm about to take my own life per my own article HowTo:Commit Suicide. I'm not placing this stuff on you to force you to delete my audio files, I just want to be done with fucking NXWave and get on with my fucking life. I really regret every one of the decisions that I've made here, I regret using my real name here, I regret taking the limelight from other worthy users, I simply regret everything and I don't know what I can do but I'm hoping by letting this out that I can finally be free of any negative energy. Thank you for reading. -- 01:15, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

UnNews:Cardinals vote on Russian roulette conclave to choose Pope

Think you can upraise Funnybony's Papal Conclave page to feature for this evening? That way we would have a good main page when the doors close on the conclave on Tuesday, and the Cardinals (who all read uncy) will have a good laugh before they are locked in. Thanks for the consideration. And with Mordillo back, and working both sides of the street (as he is well paid to do by his customers), where are Rabbi Techno and DrStrange? Nice work on the above template thing. Aleister 20:42 11-3-'13

Go Fish (as you have been, anyway). Not only is that Romartus's bailiwick, but I don't know the procedure, and the main page has been broken quite enough lately. I feel as though no one at the Vatican will have Uncyclopedia on their mobile devices as the conclave opens, so a possible delay won't be catastrophic. Spıke ¬ 21:01 11-Mar-13
I didn't know that, Romartus it is. I'll drop on by now and see if he's up to this herculian task. I haven't fished since I was a young teen and caught, on my first fishing attempt, a beautiful alligator gar and threw it back in, sorry that I had harmed it with a hook. I'd never seen anything like that before, this preshistoric looking creature flopping on the dock. Taught me not to put my hook where their mouth is. On to Romartus... Al minutes later

Typo on main page

Hi Spike, hope you're well. Did you really support Ron Paul? If so, more power to you. I love the guy! And he really woke young people up, other wise the oligarchy he rails against wouldn't have spent mega millions of dollars smearing, sabotaging and blocking his Presidential bid (which was absurdly obvious). Anyway, I'm writing because on the front page there is THIS-> [[Vatican}]] typo. We wouldn't want folks to think the admins were not paying attention (or worse). Would you please fix that? I already asked Romy but I'm not sure if he's on duty. I wouldn't ask if I knew how. Hang loose! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:44, Mar 12

I don't open the Jamboree-sized can-of-worms of discussing politics here, though I will say that it is not necessary to assume conspiratorial sabotage when there are simpler answers, such as Ron Paul's continual merging of so many fringe groups that ordinary Americans can't understand his message--just like 2008. His son with his 13-hour speech in the Senate received the same scorn from his party's mainstream, but succeeded in getting publicity for an important issue.
The typo is clearly Romartus's work, as he becomes disinterested on seeing a long line of brackets of various types; most recently, he welcomed two dozen young Uncyclopedians and probably retired for a few hours with a book of history, a long pipe, and a houseboy. This is fixed. I hope that no other dandelion casts a shadow on this latest moment in the sun. Spıke ¬ 14:07 12-Mar-13
Thanks for the fix Spike. Sorry FB. I was trying to think of a new pope story. He is the 'bus pope' and a connection to Frank Sinatra is about the sum of it. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:52, March 15, 2013 (UTC)


Why did you revert my edits? One was for more professional wording ( this site being a parody of wikipedia) and replacing bitch with puta is a more accurate translation, while the list was mostly factual information, with a subtle joke. As for making a red link, there used to be an article on Till Lindemann that was quite funny, and I hoped someone would take the hint and write one. -Hannes1813

Lists are discouraged on this site, for the reason that anyone can add to the list and make it worse (the longer the list, the worse it is generally), and redlinks do not encourage others to write articles, they just make existing articles ugly. Use UN:REQ to request article creation. As to the rest, I'll let SPIKE answer. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:17, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
Indeed, and thank you Simsie. Red-links (such as George H.W. Bush) can indeed illustrate places where there needs to be an article and is none. Till Lindemann is much less likely to induce someone to write one. That, and the insertion of Uncyclopedia's most recent tedious Discography justified the revert, and the better translation of Spanish puta was minor by comparison. Spıke ¬ 23:46 14-Mar-13

I see. Well, thank you for the tips. Now let's see if I get this signing thing right... especially considering I'm in a different time zone. User:Hannes1813/signature19:46 Eastern 14-Mar-13

Didn't. Four tildes will give you a timestamp in UTC (Greenwich Mean Time), which is the standard here, given that you don't know what time zone your reader is in. Spıke ¬ 00:01 15-Mar-13

Amy Winehouse

Hi I understand why you deleted that page but thing is I am user Blake 5 I just couldn't get back into my account because I forgot my password can you please undo the deletion because it did take a while to write that sorry I know I was a tit but please it did take a while. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Hello and welcome back! Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure we never honor such requests; even Hyperbole had to become Horace David something-or-other. You can easily pick a new username. (Blake6 might be available....) Return and tell me what it is and I will gladly restore the text anywhere you direct. If it were really necessary for you to be known as Blake5 for your entire life, I can only suggest you should have used a better backup method. Spıke ¬ 12:56 16-Mar-13
There is a "remind me my password" option on the login page. Did you try that? ~Jewriken.GIF 14:25, March 16, 2013 (UTC)
I think the email option was switched off when BB started to contact everyone from his account here with the message 'Go to the Fork'. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:18, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
No, it is Special:EmailUser that was switched off; Wikia should still be able to mail users, such as through Preferences on specified changes to the wiki, and by user request for a copy of his password. Spıke ¬ 18:24 18-Mar-13


As far as I can tell this is significantly non-notable persons. The image is used in a few places as an example of a suspected gay couple. I don't have an alternate image to add in its place. If you can find a decent replacement image would you mind uploading and deleting the old version. Could you also delete the old version of File:Dreamz04110636.jpg?                               Puppy's talk page07:14 23 Mar 2013

The Two Homos have non-notable names, too, in the text. Codeine himself warned this guy about vanity at User talk:Jakrules365. On Dreamz, it isn't stated even who the guy is in the version you restored. This photo is only used as the frontispiece at Douche and as a gratuitous second photo in an UnNews, so I deleted both versions. Spıke ¬ 11:46 23-Mar-13
I should have mentioned that that image that I reverted to was of Topher Grace. I think that Douche still needs a lead image of a person - based upon the featured version. Odd thing on the featured version is the vote started with the original image, and was changed part-way through the voting, but nobody seemed to even blink at the change.                               Puppy's talk page01:17 23 Mar 2013
This is now done as you asked originally. Spıke ¬ 16:37 23-Mar-13

Hey SPIKE! :)

Oh yeah, I heard that you've become an admin from the other side/site, but I forgot to congratulate you... haha...


Put the axe down...

Anyways, I might pop around on this site but I mostly contribute on the antiwikia-Uncyc. I don't come here often, and yesterday was my first time I edited anything here since the split. :/ I've been also pretty busy with personal life. Ya know, drugs, games, women RAHB... Well you know. But I was wondering if some sort of template should be done to tell others to not try to talk to a wall and that the wall has changed sides? I mean, no one has edited my talkpage but I bet there's empty souls, somewhere, who are still waiting for response from braindead users... Like 'This user has betrayed us and contributes on the other site' or something similar. Wait, that was a bad example. Well you get my point. Or... is it done already? I really don't know because I haven't visited here for 3 months :/ Should some forum be started? Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 05:56, 27 March, 2013 (UTC)

Oh and can you check this? If you take a look at the 'contets'-part on my takpage there is this topic called ADMIND_REQUEST which doesn't even exist... What is this? :O Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 06:56, 27 March, 2013 (UTC)
I don't see it. You found, somewhere, a link to a section of your talk page that no longer exists. Perhaps it is archived. Spıke ¬ 14:37 27-Mar-13
Nah, there was a weird section, but I checked it just a minute ago and it has now disappeared... Weird thing, but now that it's gone I think everything is ok. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 12:58, 24 April, 2013 (UTC)
Oh and how's life man? I honestly don't visit here and I don't know a thing that has happened here. So how are you? How is the site? How is, like, everything? Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 12:58, 24 April, 2013 (UTC)

User page

Is it possible for you or Romartus to help me improve my userpage? Leave a message at my talk page, please. Dannyboy1209 (talk) 17:11, March 27, 2013 (UTC)

May I also become an admin? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 17:35, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
First, read HowTo:Become a sysop in 2008 or later. Then, start writing good articles and stuff. Get at least one featured. Alternatively, hang around on the site for five years, reverting vandals. Then find a gullible bureaucrat. SPIKE is not a crat, and is not the one to bug about these matters. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:31, March 28, 2013 (UTC)

MAY I GET HELP WITH MY USERPAGE!!!!!!!!!!!! Dannyboy1209 (talk) 15:53, March 28, 2013 (UTC)

See my note on your talk page. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:31, March 28, 2013 (UTC)


Thanks for reverting the vandalism on my userpage. Also, on an unrelated note, Dannyboy1209 appears to have created a new unsignpost. I'm not sure whether it's against the rules or something... can you go check that out? Thanks. --Snippy 23:14, March 27, 2013 (UTC)

See also immediately above. I saw those edits come in and refrained from marking it Patrolled. He is an adoptee of Romartus, and the UnSignpost was most recently the Chief's baby. Among other things, Danny laid waste to an existing UnSignpost from the past, which Simsilikesims reverted and protected. Danny is uniquely unqualified to report on recent Uncyclopedia news. Spıke ¬ 23:29 27-Mar-13

Cow tipping

The restored version of this page was not the latest version of the page. While Xamralco has the rights to sell the text he wrote, he unfortunately doesn't have the rights to exclusivity as he has published here previously. As he has deleted a featured article without due process, could you please restore this to the version that was deleted.                               Puppy's talk page03:01 20 Mar 2013

Yes, of course. I deleted what was there and restored all revisions from the history. It does not seem substantially different, except for the FA template and a capitalization in the initial quotation. Spıke ¬ 15:15 20-Mar-13
Substantially different. Cosmetically much the same, but the concept was dramatically changed.                               Puppy's talk page03:28 20 Mar 2013

Apparently, an inactive admin sold the exclusive rights to the article, (which can't be done, as it has been released under a copy left license) deleted the article, and restored a version made without his contributions. As per our policy against deleting history, I believe this issue should be looked into. --Mn-z 16:32, March 28, 2013 (UTC)

On the fork, it was agreed on the Village Dump to leave the version before Xamralco's edits in place for a period of time in order to give him some credit. This is the reason why Mr. N restored only part of the article. I think this should be discussed on our Village Dump if it hasn't been already. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 16:55, March 28, 2013 (UTC)
This would be MrN9000's second attempt to excise the featured version of this article by Xamralco, this last time politely lecturing us on what "we have decided." It's fixed now, until it happens the next time. Spıke ¬ 16:58 28-Mar-13
I deleted it once. Not twice. What are you talking about? MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 22:37, Mar 29
Sorry; I see from the log that I was in error about who did what how many times. (I did not repeat this error in my comments on the Forum mentioned below.) Spıke ¬ 23:47 29-Mar-13
I started a forum on the Village Dump, hopefully he will see that we have consensus there (once everyone comments there) and refrain from messing with it again, also new users will see it and be able to comment, hopefully everybody who has given feedback above will confirm their opinion there. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 18:32, March 28, 2013 (UTC)

Restoration request

Bro Army was an abandoned WIP that was then deleted. If possible, can you restore it to my user space, please? Thanks.--Snippy 22:40, March 28, 2013 (UTC)

Tis done. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:52, March 28, 2013 (UTC)


Thanks for the welcome! Arctangent (talk) 19:13, March 29, 2013 (UTC)

Because I'm being paranoid…

…can I get you to protect {{h2}}. Or alternatively subst it into the content warning.                               Puppy's talk page01:15 30 Mar 2013

Done. Thanks for thinking faster than the vandals. Spıke ¬ 01:30 30-Mar-13

April Fool's prank

I have no idea if you'll see this, so I'm bolding it and making it big. I don't care if it's April Fools, please get rid of the wikia skin that Frosty put up. As well as the header template that directs people to the other site. This was a direct sabotage of this site under the excuse of April Fool. There is a vandal loose that nobody banned when they were here, they've let him run free. And of course I'm not editing with the wikia skin up. So I'll check back every couple of hours to see if its changed, and I hope that this vandalism is dealt with here (nobody voted, nobody decided, and to put up a wikia skin means driving away almost every person that comes here). Al 9:51 1-4-'13

Thank you for the notice. In fact, I usually only open a single section of my userpage for editing because of my slow, metered service, but I did notice your change summary. It should be back to normal now. Spıke ¬ 10:49 1-Apr-13
You're welcome, and thanks for logging on and dealing with that, and with that vandal running loose (you redid him fast, is there an admin button that reverts someone's total edit history with one push of the button?). If that's the skin wikia uses and likes, it really shows they have a rotten core and a dark soul. I hope you didn't get too drunk at your April Fools Eve party last night. And where is Chief Justice???? Al 10:54 1-4-'13
Only one Oil Can, thank you for asking. I don't know where the Chief is; the English branch should have cut short the vandalism and pranks. Happily, Simsie never sleeps. Wikia doesn't have a dark soul, just a different set of values. As always, the Creative Department cannot be the only department and you can't have a team by vilifying the other departments. (Unless you are the 2012 Red Sox.) Spıke ¬ 11:19 1-Apr-13
Just so you know - a little while ago Wikia had set up a mobile skin on all it's sub-domains, including us. When they set it up they allowed people to turn off the mobile skin, but they had the skin default to Oasis which is what that ugly as arse skin you saw today was. The lovely pink kitty design was the brainchild of Lyrithya. I did have to remind Wikia at one stage that we used Monobook skin here. We have the option of changing the background of the Oasis skin so we no longer have the kitties, but tbh it's been a while since I looked at how to set that up as a Wikia sub-domain admin (being I'm not an admin on a Wikia sub-domain). Oasis has a few functional advantages over Monobook, but also has a few functional disadvantages - or rather, it's more of a pain to navigate. Especially on older browsers. The change to the site notice was the act of a single admin.                               Puppy's talk page11:29 01 Apr 2013
On April 1? Perhaps someone at Wikia does have a sense of humor. Are you saying someone needs to be informed of something? Spıke ¬ 11:40 1-Apr-13
Nah, I'm just on the "creative department" and think the other departments who have the type of mindset to even create that skin, to put up a content warning notice, and to censor iconic images and/or art, should be tossed overboard with the lines cut, like in "Master and Commander" (the life story of Mordillo, and where did Mordillo go? Chief and Mordillo have both disappeared into the fog). Who put up the "We're all hetrosexual" line on the main page of the wikia skin? Monica is mocking that at the other site, thinking it was one of us, and I'd like to correct that. Was it Frosty or RAHB? Thanks. Al 11:39 1-4-'13
We're heterosexual? I hope my husband doesn't find out.                               Puppy's talk page11:46 01 Apr 2013
I changed the sitenotice because I thought it would be cheeky to reference the fork's April Fools joke. A lot of other things got out of hand when Frosty started hitting. There are many of us who aren't particularly happy about that. As always, some people are taking things too far in this whole supposed war. Sorry for that, on his behalf (since I doubt you'll be getting one out of him). -RAHB 11:52, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
The issue is that we were asked, for the good of the wiki, to not use the site banner to link to the fork. TBH, I completely lost track of the date prior to this happening. And it's a school night - Frosty needs to go to bed.                               Puppy's talk page11:56 01 Apr 2013
Yeah, I didn't think it would last very long. I figured it might work out since it was a special occasion and all, and the fork itself is basically making fun of the whole situation, including self-parody. But no worries, it's really no big deal. -RAHB 11:57, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
Frosty's change is cleverly ambiguous between April Fool and Speaking Truth To Power, especially in the wake of Puppy's call for de-oppage of Admins who are not committed to the future of this website--a call that I support and on which Frosty's prank is now Exhibit A. Spıke ¬ 12:00 1-Apr-13
Well, Frosty is, very clearly, somewhat of an idiot. It's obvious to me that his actions don't speak on behalf of the majority of the community. -RAHB 12:06, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
I tend to agree with you that most users and proprietors of the Fork would not approve of making this website unattractive to visitors by way of a "joke"--though surely a few got a kick out of it. Ironically, Frosty is not one of those I'd call an "inactive admin," as he routinely does useful patrols here on the night shift. Spıke ¬ 12:12 1-Apr-13
That is rather ironic, yes. Well, come what may on the issue of de-opping inactives or whatever else must happen. That's all this community's decision. I just wanted to make it clear (again) that this was not a concerted attempt by Unforkopedia to attack Uncyclowikia, and that most of really do not want the kind of animosity that fuels that sort of thing. Myself chiefly, it seems, as most of my edits here in the past three months seem to have been to that end. Perhaps I'll finish that article on pacifism that I started and publish it here... -RAHB 12:20, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
Also ironically, two guys de-opped themselves who no one thought were part of the problem; as I recall you also offered to do, earlier, until Aleister rebuffed your offer with a "member of the community" speech. I also credit Hindleyite, who took a request to our Forum (as he could have done without super-power) rather than just doing it, as a couple others have done. At any rate, we all benefit from your olive branch, and from any new articles you write. Spıke ¬ 12:38 1-Apr-13
Should we make an awkward attempt at a hug now? -RAHB 12:49, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
I think that would only feed a nasty recent rumor. Spıke ¬ 12:54 1-Apr-13
"Nasty" is in the eye of the beholder, sweetheart ;) -RAHB 13:05, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
My hubby would be relieved. Entendre intended.                               Puppy's talk page01:11 01 Apr 2013
Thanks again for stepping in RAHB as when you helped out with the article filching bot back in January. Frosty's short trousered prank deserves a bottle of flat lemonade with a straw in it. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:21, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
No thanks necessary to me, SPIKE is the one to thank for cleaning up the mess. -RAHB 17:19, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

Copyright and Registered Trademark symbols

My question is, can I add a ® or © sign to some non-reserved or non-copyrighted symbol or image? (for satire purposes), like adding a Reserved symbol of a government agency seal? Thanks (Hope this is the right place to ask, also I don't know how to make my username show up properly here) --O my humour! Where to my humour? (talk) 20:49, April 4, 2013 (UTC)

To sign a talk page, type ~~~~ (four tildes in sequence). See also UN:SIG.
Legally, affixing a ® or © to a mark is required to assert that a person owns the mark. It is done on Uncyclopedia to suggest that some fast-food chain's dumb slogan is so dear to them that they think they own it as a service mark. No one should believe an assertion in a humor wiki that a third party owns anything. It is illegal for us to claim even third-party ownership of something that they don't own; on the other hand, it is illegal for us to steal and use other people's photos, and we do quite a bit of that, either claiming "Fair Use" or relying on the fact that nearly nobody cares what we do, though occasionally someone will care enough to raise holy hell with our web hosts at Wikia.
The problem with adding ® or © to a government agency seal is quite different. It never appears on a government agency seal; the reason private citizens can't use the FBI seal is not because the FBI owns the seal but because citizens must not claim they are the FBI. Adding ® or © to a government seal mostly just shows that the article author doesn't understand this. So don't do exactly what you propose; not because you won't get away with it, but because it might not be funny and it will damage your article's credibility. Spıke ¬ 23:59 4-Apr-13

Thank you for your advice. (now I know how to sign signatures!!) 19:17, April 6, 2013 (UTC)


Just wanted to say thanks for helping me settle into uncyclopedia. I've written about ten articles in the past few days and also done some reviews. If you have any ideas on improvements to my articles just contact me. They're all listed on my user page. ScottPat (talk) 11:46, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

You're welcome; that is definitely one of the things a user page is for, as a reader of one of your articles (which he discovers using the History tab) might want to find others of them. You were under the impression at one point that your userspace was a private locker that only we den-mothers can rummage through; in fact, on a wiki, everyone can see everything, and unless an Admin protects an article, everyone can edit everything, though there are some things he ought not. So see the conversation on User talk:Aaronaraujo2013; Admins are not the only ones who can review articles, and might not even be the best candidates: I am finding that my reviews are getting very superficial so that I can move on and delete all the ads for Viagra uploaded overnight. Spıke ¬ 11:54 5-Apr-13

Also I've put some articles on VFH and Pee Reviews and I've bugged every active user I know to review/vote about/on them so if you could contribute (as no one else has yet) to them that would be greatly appreciated. ScottPat (talk) 13:20, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

PS - Sorry don't mean to be rude but its about 45 minutes since I sent the above message and you haven't responded or changed VFH or reviews but you have been on Uncyc. checking recent changes. Is this an admin requirement? Could you possibly, please, find time to check VFH and reviews and contribute. Iknow you said you find reviews annoying but you could just do a very quick one and VFH only takes a few minutes. Thanks ScottPat (talk) 14:08, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

No, you are now being too pushy. RecentChanges hasn't been patrolled in two days; I have already dealt with your Autopatrolled status and your message above, and I have more important things to do in the free time I have left, notably including deleting cyberbullying and vandalism and welcoming other new users, than to give you additional praises and suggestions, sorry. Spıke ¬ 14:16 5-Apr-13

That's ok. Sorry for being a pain. ScottPat (talk) 16:28, April 5, 2013 (UTC)


How DARE you delete my work, should it not have been kept? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 22:27, April 5, 2013 (UTC)


SPIKE shouldn't this page be deleted as it isn't funny and it is complete random nonsense. Correct me if I'm wrong but there doesn't seem to be a point to it. Also read my comment in the VFH/BNP section. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:25, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

I saw your comment on the VFD section. It isn't a very good mock against Brits as it says Brits arte creepers but doesn't give a justification. You can't just say a joke without justifying it because it isn't funny. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:28, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Even if you forget all that it isn't encyclopedic at all. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:29, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

No Admin patrolled the site overnight and I have more pressing matters than to rush to read each of your responses to me. However, the issue is not whether the BNP is racist in your opinion; the issue is whether BNP is the best humor we can put on our main page. Your rebuttal proves my point. Separately, on VFH and VFD, no speeches or debates; generally, make your point concisely and wait for the result. VFH and Uncyclopedia are not here to make your (or my) political point. Spıke ¬ 12:36 9-Apr-13
In addition, a Brit delivering a slap against Brits in the course of a rant does not need to explain to your satisfaction why the slap is technically justified.
Further to VFD: If you must nominate articles there, read the rules and put new nominations at the top. Then keep reading the rules and don't nominate articles newer than 1 week, especially ranty stubs that any Admin will delete (and in this case, has deleted) on sight. Please write more funny stuff and do less of giving everyone a piece of your mind on every forum. Spıke ¬ 12:44 9-Apr-13

Sorry SPIKE. I have been writing though. I've done the UnSignpost and the Marmite article today so I am writing at the same time. Thanks for VFD tips. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:59, April 9, 2013 (UTC)


I guess that was you SPIKE. Thanks for sending out the UnSignpost articles you've been a great help. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:12, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Not sure whether it was you or Aleister but thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:22, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
Musta been him. Spıke ¬ 13:31 9-Apr-13

Got confused it was actually PuppyOnTheRadio. Everyone's been so helpful in the revival of UnSignpost and I'd like to thank you a lot. If the editors aren't back next month I suppose I'll have to write another. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:33, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

What do you mean if the editors aren't back? I see your name on the door! Aleister minutes later
Like we always say, You caught it, you clean it. Spıke ¬ 13:39 9-Apr-13
SPIKE I got a copy anyway. Now Aleister claims to have sent it but PuppyOnTheRadio also said he'd sent it to me manually. So I'm really confused and just jumping between talk pages to apolagise to people I've accidentally thanked. Are you saying I'm an editor now. That's fine by me. I still haven't been taught how to send it partly because I'm still confused who sent it. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:43, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
My God, you are in a world of your own! that you got a copy doesn't mean everyone got a copy! The last I heard Puppy say is that he has not relearned his former art--and he is mostly filing dispatches from a phone these days and there is a lot that he can't do that way. PS--I don't want a copy; I get it at the news-stand (and have already read this August issue). Yes, unless someone else seems ready to fight you for the honor of doing all that work, You're It. Please do not abuse the power to give periodic broadcasts; if a bit might be self-serving, have someone else write it. Spıke ¬ 13:54 9-Apr-13

I worked out it only reached me now. I won't abuse my power. (When have I ever?) Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:57, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

By the way it is April. Smallest unit of time comes first: a day. Largest unit of time comes last: a year. Middle unit of time goes in the middle: a month. Simples. However if you're really that fussed I'll do it the US way. (I'm sure the UnSignpost page said day first but hey.) Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:01, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Yes, smallest unit of time comes first--except when you use a format in which the largest unit comes first (again, so as to ensure a correct sort). You are welcome to write 9 April 2013 (I usually do except in prose) but if you choose the all-numeric format, you must write 20130409. Please never use the format 4/9/2013 as this exact thing means two different dates in our respective countries. Spıke ¬ 14:07 9-Apr-13

UnSignpost Deliveries

What was it you used to say about clogging up the recent changes? Sorry had to deliver them manually as I did not know any other way. Hopefully the users will be pleased though. Although not many of them looked active. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:49, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Changes to the wiki will be shown on Special:RecentChanges whether done manually or automatically. It's annoying but inevitable. Actually, if a 'bot had done it, there is a link to click to exclude the deliveries from the report. No, many recipients are inactive and don't care. It is like how I insist that you keep me on your Christmas card list even though I moved away from there in 2005. Spıke ¬ 15:58 9-Apr-13

In that case should I ask that the list be checked through to see who actually wants it or is active so that the subscription list will be re-written? If so I shall put a notice on the main page of UnSignpost to warn everyone that if they do not contact them by next month I shall presume they don't want it. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:45, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Thorpe Park

You've put a comment that says you reverted my editing but you haven't. Bit confused. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:46, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Sorry you actually said revert anonymous before my editing. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:47, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Amanda Todd

Why did you delete Amanda Todd? -- 20:13, April 10, 2013 (UTC)

Because this is a humor wiki and new articles have to have a tiny bit of comedy. I had a tab open to ban you for 2 weeks but happily, Wikipedia has an article WP:Suicide of Amanda Todd so evidently she is not one of your schoolyard chums. If you pick a username, I can restore the article into your userspace so you can take as much time as you need to give it some humor. If so, edit this section again and sign as your new name. Spıke ¬ 20:21 10-Apr-13

This encyclopedia is full of bullshit. It stinks in here. Get the hell out!!! 15:50, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Err...Why are you telling this to an admin. Are you asking to be banned? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:59, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

SPIKE I just looked at this guys contributions he's dleted a whole page and added random unencyclopedic offensive language to it. I suggest he should be banned. By the way more on the argument above (sorry). Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:02, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

PS - I have undone his edits to Blood and Dwedwx as he deleted everything and replaced it with "Bullshit" and "Uncyclopedia'a full of LGBTs." Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:06, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

PS - Sorry I'm having trouble undoing his edits. Please help when you can. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:08, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Nope I worked it out. I'm undoing his edits. Please check if you want to. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:10, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Actually Dwedwx is his own creation so I'm adding that to quick delete. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:12, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Not sure whether to undo his edits to Jimbo Wales please check. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:15, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the help on patrol, Scott. He is gone now, for a while. I am not sure which of my edits raised his LGBT antennae. Spıke ¬ 16:23 12-Apr-13

Benjamicho on interwikis

hi, i generally only come to this wiki to add interwikis, which i gain by following interwikis in other languages. i don't just translate words and add them to your wiki; your wiki isn't that important. if you see i've made a mistake, please point it out to me so i don't make it again. if you're suspicious, check my work. Benjamicho (talk) 12:52, April 13, 2013 (UTC)

Yes, I "know" you; just wanted to verify that the pages you are linking to actually exist. Also, thank you for creating a user page to introduce yourself to us. Spıke ¬ 14:47 13-Apr-13


Can you move my page now? I'm finally finished with proofreading and anything else. User:Aaronaraujo2013/Sailor Moon Aaronaraujo2013 (talk) 07:33, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

Done. Spıke ¬ 13:17 14-Apr-13

I ain't gone!!!!!!!! This encyclopedia sucks. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

VFH Capitalism

Thank you SPIKE for voting for my article on VFH. I just wanted to know how many votes I needed to have to get an article featured. So far I've got (7/1) for this article so a score of 6. The atomic bomb one got (6/0) with a score of 6 so does this mean my article can get featured with that score or is there something else to it. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:09, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

PS - Just going to vote on your previously featured articles. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:10, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

VFH is graded on a curve, it changes over time, and Admins have great latitude, so that a vote with a sensible rationale, in practice, carries more weight than a vote with no explanation at all. The other, more important, part about the previous lesson not to pester individual voters is not to pester Admins about evaluating the votes. What spreads across this site much faster than individual recognition is the recognition that certain Uncyclopedians are too anxious about it. Spıke ¬ 13:16 14-Apr-13

OK sorry SPIKE. As I'm sure you're aware I'm just a noob with a lot to learn. Thanks for your guidance. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:23, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

PS - I'm unsure as to why you think that I am pestering individuals about voting for only my articles as I have clearly asked them to contribute to everyone's so as to allow the best ones to be shown and stand out. I don't care if the best aren't mine I'm just helping the community but if you want me to stop I will. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:29, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

Your histrionics Friday to me was motivated by one vote against one nomination. There are several votes against several other nominations that are demonstrably spite. Nothing can be done about it, except see above about latitude of interpretation. Spıke ¬ 13:36 14-Apr-13
Separately, I think I can fairly describe the UnSignpost correspondent you posted to just now as a troll, whose most recent contribution was as one of three prank candidates in the Admin vote in January. I can also fairly say that it is not merely red-links, but that any Admin here would require you to reject such a story. Whether or not it is merely a cover to broadcast a link to the Fork, which runs afoul of our terms-of-use mandate not to use Wikia's servers to send Wikia's traffic elsewhere, the current state of affairs is that everyone picks one site or the other (or, like Aleister, both), and the predicted "war" has not occurred except for isolated border clashes. I cannot conceive of War Correspondence being funny enough for the UnSignpost, or of that particular correspondent authoring it without ulterior motives. Spıke ¬ 13:36 14-Apr-13

Sorry didn't actually read the UnSignpost article actually so thanks for that. I'm a bit confused on your comment on spite. I think you are trying to say that by me encouraging others to vote there are too many negative votes but not sure. Could you please clarify? Thanks SPIKE. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:44, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

I am trying to say no such thing. Simply, there are several votes on VFH right now that were cast with no other basis than dislike for the author. You didn't cause it. Spıke ¬ 13:46 14-Apr-13

Oh. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Any votes in particular that you could mention? Thanks Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:48, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

Vandal Report

IP: deleted the whole Furry article and wrote, "I believe the furs win again." I have therefore undone this. He had also changed a lot of the article through several different edits so I am undoing them all. Please check I have undone the right amount thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:21, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

This is the right and the duty of every Uncyclopedian (Snippy often protects us overnight, his daytime), and you need not report it to me.
However, rather than perform a series of Undo operations, instead please view the History report, click on the date to which you want to return. Edit that version and (as you will be warned) it will be written to the encyclopedia, overriding all edits that have taken place since then.
Admin Mhaille has taken a more permanent step, which you might ask any Admin to do if such persistent or multi-editor vandalism occurs in the future: He gave the article protection against editing by anonymous or very new users. Spıke ¬ 00:40 15-Apr-13

OK thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:01, April 15, 2013 (UTC)

Proofreading service

Not being great at actually writing (having a dearth of ideas at the moment) I was wondering if I could help more by proofreading. I've noticed the official page is pretty dead, and would quite like to get it started again. Would this be OK? Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH 20:48, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

That is an excellent idea. The muse often goes on a Caribbean cruise and it is perceptive of you to realize that there are other ways to help out. You have found "the official page" and I'd ask you to use that page, as opposed to inventing a new way to offer your service and changing all the pointers to the official page. I also see that you have already gotten one client, though he doesn't so much misspell as palpitate for people to read his stuff.
Separately, please read my recent urgings at User talk:Denza272. You need to put the code for your signature in a file, then set My preferences so that your signature deposits a link to that file where you sign, instead of all the code, each time. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 01:31 17-Apr-13

Have done so, thank you. Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 14:56, April 17, 2013 (UTC)

As I see. You can now change sig and have the changes appear in past signatures, such as the one just above; or steal and adapt code from my User:SPIKE/signature to put the date in the format you desire. (If you do this last, you'd sign with three tildes rather than four.) Spıke ¬ 15:20 17-Apr-13

"You must rate"

What do you mean "Geez you must rate"? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:59, April 17, 2013 (UTC)

Only two Admins got visits from this guy, helpfully suggesting different user names for us. And you. This means you must rate very highly within the Trolling Community, because I don't think you have as stupid a user name. By the way, he was back this morning with more of the same from a different IP, and I reverted him on your talk page. Spıke ¬ 16:13 17-Apr-13

Thanks. I probably just happened to be on uncyclopedia at the time. Thanks for reverting him. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:17, April 17, 2013 (UTC)


Thank you for blocking this user. i think he found my article offensive so took his anger out on pages I'd recently edited (Anton's user page and my user [page). I did make it clear that the article is British humour and incomplete but I have a feeling he might have done it just to muck about. While you were blocking him I added him to ban patrol by the way (I was unaware you were blocking him). Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:21, April 19, 2013 (UTC)

The vast majority of trolls are not reading closely enough for his vandalism to be a specific comment to actual material. He is seeking the attention he can only get by making an edit he thinks is maximally hurtful. Finding a target like you who will wrestle with what you did to become the target of the attack is Vandal Gold. Spıke ¬ 19:42 19-Apr-13

Automated Welcomes

SPIKE, I read the forum on your dislike of these unexplained automatic welcomes. Can I replace the automated welcome that is supposedly signed by you by my own much more useful welcome message? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:34, April 19, 2013 (UTC)

Absolutely; and yours is indeed more useful. Spıke ¬ 23:11 20-Apr-13
PS--My own longish welcome message (from which you are welcome to steal anything you find useful) states, "Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written." This concession does not have to be granted to robot-generated messages. Spıke ¬ 23:16 20-Apr-13

User:Argh isle/Content warning

Did you intend to blank this?                               Puppy's talk page11:07 20 Apr 2013

I sure didn't; thanks. I intended to revert Anon who devised "some fixes" to the carefully debated text--but he did so after restoring a previous deletion, a casualty of the powerful Rollback button. It's restored now. Spıke ¬ 23:13 20-Apr-13


Scott, there is no need for a play-by-play, as I read the overnight log when I wake up. As does our vandal; and he finds it easy to change IPs, so Frosty's block was not effective. He was not blocked; he just finally got bored.

PS--I am on the edge regarding the new user's massive edits to Wanker. He knows what he is doing but, as often occurs in grade school, the composition won't nearly be as fun for the reader as it was for the author. Spıke ¬ 11:36 21-Apr-13

PPS--Also we have new user AlexJabei; he claims on his user page to be a reincarnation of Alex Devens; also says he was blocked from Uncyclopedia, which does not seem to be true, despite having dabbled in sockpuppetry. Anon last night also claimed at Talk:Tourette's Syndrome to be he. Anon created several unsigned posts, while the registered user has confined his non-notable edits to his own userspace except for a bit of trolling at Dumbass. My initial diagnosis is that he suffers from no Syndrome at all, only issues he needs us to help him work out. Spıke ¬ 11:46 21-Apr-13

So how can I help? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:18, April 21, 2013 (UTC)

I'm just exchanging observations. He has a sense of humor but is itching to find someone to fight. Spıke ¬ 13:40 21-Apr-13

I struggle to understand what Alex's comments mean on Talk:You he seems to have a lot of knowledge of why this page was created or he's making it up. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:02, April 21, 2013 (UTC)
He says he thinks we are having a flamewar and is, if I am interpreting correctly, attempting to tell off some of the regulars (i.e. not vandals) on Uncyc. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:06, April 21, 2013 (UTC)

Also: Is an instant spokesman for Uncyclopedia. I gave him the day off. Am now going to the ballpark. Spıke ¬ 14:10 21-Apr-13

Hasta luego!Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:17, April 21, 2013 (UTC)

Denza252 acts out

Original section head: WHAT THE HELL MAN!

YOU STOLE MY IRC NICKS, WHY, I DON'T EVEN VANDALIZE ANYTHING, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??? P.S. I thought you were the only good admin left here, don't prove me wrong.... --The Infinite Otaku Emperor Denza252 21:05, April 21, 2013 (UTC) Please, just give me back my account! - The Infinite Otaku Emperor Denza363 21:05, April 21, 2013 (UTC)

  1. I have no presence on IRC and do not know what you are talking about.
  2. Changing your user page to redirect to mine was provocative but easily reverted and you have already saved me the trouble.
  3. Your sockpuppet "Denza363" is permabanned. Creating multiple personas is not permitted.
Further: I have no duty whatsoever to prove to you that I am a "good admin." This manipulation means it is time to evaluate your presence here. Namely: When you don't get what you want (of which I am unsure, other than constant attention), you act out, as above. Whereas when I ask something of you--such as making your signature proper--I get excuses, diversions, and treated as your personal babysitter. I do not see you as an asset to Uncyclopedia, not even for additional detail on our documentation of Vocaloids. This is not a problem except when I take a day off and return to find crap smeared all over the furniture. Your next misstep will result in a ban with no further explanation. Spıke ¬ 11:15 22-Apr-13
Yes, this is my school I.P. before you ask. I am sorry, I acted irrationally, and without reason, I already am trying to redeem myself. What happened, is that my IRC nicks (which I was about to register) got namejacked. So, I asked around. After some asking, it was a game of blame the other with me, and the nick-jacker. The present admins and some others were seeing who was real and whatnot. Then, it got serious. The nick-jacker hacked my uncyc, accounts (here and the fork). See, the reason why I blamed you, is some people in IRC told me it was you, so, with nothing else to work off of, I came here. I am sorry, again, I was stupid, immature, and irrational. Some time later, the guy got me banned on the fork. Then, when I tried to log on here, it denied me the log-on. So, I made the sock to ask you. But your previous message seems genuine, more than I could ever be. I'm sorry, I am at fault here, and I won't blame you if you decide to permaban me. I just want my DSII page to be protected. That is all I ask. Its too much for what I did, I feel terrible, and I will never be liked, both here or in real life, but I ask you, just don't delete the page I started. You can delete everything else. I am so sorry, I feel so bad for what I did, I can't apologize enough, and again, I will have no hard feelings if you permaban me. But the redirect wasn't me. Again, I am sorry, I know it feels ingenuine, but I just want to tell you how sorry I am about everything that I put you through, I feel lower than trash. Sincerely, the former Denza252 -- 20:03, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
No one is allowed to hack an article in your userspace. Including you if you don't log in. No one on IRC is able to "hack" your Uncyclopedia account. If you gave out your password and it was changed, go to the login screen and ask Uncyclopedia to email you your password, then change it again. As for your forelock-tugging contrition above, you must be mistaking me for a Small Claims Judge who gives a damn. Spıke ¬ 21:00 22-Apr-13
With such an open heart and sunny personality, one wonders why so many people dislike you. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 07:59, Apr. 23, 2013
Please, don't insult him, SPIKE has every right to hate me. If my life as an Uncyclopedian has come to an abrupt end, I deserve it. My actions in IRC were near unforgivable. Again, I won't be mad if I am to be permabanned. But, the hacking wasn't Spike, or Romanartus, so please, don't harass them. Without SPIKE, UncycloWikia would be in complete chaos, so don't de-admin him. Sincerely, the former Denza252 -- 15:25, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
I might add, IRC is the Haunt of the Fork. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:31, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
Don't beat yourself up, Denza. Fooling mildly autistic 15-year-olds makes us feel big and clever. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 23:26, Apr. 23, 2013
As SPIKE said already, SPIKE is NOT on IRC, never really has been. Once in awhile you might see me there, but I would never hack someone's account. Wouldn't even know how. Neither SPIKE nor myself have any motivation to hack an IRC account. Think before you throw accusations around. Generally we don't permaban you from this wikia Uncyc for something said on IRC, unless it was really, really bad. I would have to be present to witness it, too, which I wasn't. Instead of just an apology, make good behavior your apology (it speaks louder). -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:29, April 23, 2013 (UTC)


We have a vandal that has been bumping old forums. A rangeblock would be in order here, if only I could figure out how to make the system accept my input. Alternatively, if I could figure out how the abuse filter works, that would be helpful. Thank goodness you're more technically proficient than I am. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:46, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Unfortunately, I also sometimes go to sleep; and sometimes early, notably when all three Boston sports teams are playing crappy. One correction to your work, though: A number is four bytes (32 bits) and when you range-block a /26 range, it means everything matching the address regardless of the low 26 bits. So your range-block of took out all of 198., 199., 200., and 201. for an entire year. This probably took out an entire continent, not what you want even if it is what you wanted. Abuse Filter 7 has perfectly snuffed out the NSFW/Template Spammer for two weeks and I've applied it also to permaban every visitor from 199.231.84.* (an /8 a /24 range). Spıke ¬ 09:52 24-Apr-13
I've read your source (below); I'm wrong, you're right, /26 was exactly right. Spıke ¬ 10:19 24-Apr-13
Living in the city, sometimes things wake me up in the middle of the night. Tonight was one example of that. I got help on the ##wikia IRC channel, and was referred to this site plus I got extra help with the parameters on IRC. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 09:59, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
I don't live in the city, but most of my neighbors have dump trucks and rifles. On the other hand, you often have not yet gone to bed at this hour. I'll read your reference, which would have been a better way to do the /24 thing. There is also Special:SpamRegex, which blocks users based on text they type, only you have to compose a pattern-matching expression ("regular expression") as you would type into grep. The last two entries in that list dealt with recent attacks. Spıke ¬ 10:15 24-Apr-13

SPIKE Signature

Just thought I'd let you know, in case you wondered why, that when you thought you had reverted the changes to the IP who attacked your sig you still left one "Troll on" so I changed that. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:00, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

That was baffling, as I reverted the definition, but the example invocation remained unreverted. Also, there was no difference from a known-good version. If you fixed it, though, thanks. Spıke ¬ 17:53 24-Apr-13

I have only just read what the IP said here. I guess you don't agree with him (as you deleted the comment) however I just wanted to add that I was puzzled myself as in the editing it said "spike signature" yet it still appeared on the article as "troll." It might have been some clever trick by the vandal but I just put it back to my original edit where I reverted another vandal. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:14, April 25, 2013 (UTC)

In fact, tests on a signature page and other uses of Subst cannot know the result of the current edit; what they substitute onto the page is the last saved edit. In fact, it seems to me to be even "stickier" than this; one reason may be that reads from Uncyclopedia are serviced by servers that are slow to acquire recent changes, which are stored by different servers. I saw the trolled signature still in the Forum and began typing Purge commands; but just then T-Mobile went from "slow" to "frozen" so I left for the ballpark.
Separately, I saw no need to preserve a threat from yet another Anon, nor an insult to you for not having caught onto the vandalism earlier.
They really do not understand how little time it takes to undo their "work" compared to the time they took to author it; also how unmemorable a new vandal is to us compared to their pent-up rage at being unable to make any sort of difference. Spıke ¬ 00:24 26-Apr-13

Reverting Edits

Following on from the discussion on Sims' talk page (I feel it is more appropriate to be placed here):

Spike, I have attempted to revert edits by clicking, as you said, on the date button. This then takes me to a "compare selected revisions" page. I then pressed undo and a warning message comes up saying I can't undo as I haven't undone the changes mad after it. The only way I seem to be able to undo is by undoing each one individually. I think I have misunderstood your instructions, could please give me a clear explanation of how I can revert to any previous edition without undoing each one until I get there. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:07, April 25, 2013 (UTC)

Once you go to the compare selected revisions page, you will see [edit] by the date of each revision. If you hit the edit of the older page (which I assume is the one you wanted to revert to) it will warn you that you are editing an out of date revision and that changes made since that revision will not be saved. Ignore the warning and save it anyways. Hope this helps. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:08, April 25, 2013 (UTC)
Yup; for every edit in the History, you see:
  • (prev) is the differences made by the listed edit (compared to the previous revision).
  • (cur) is the differences between that version and the current version.
  • Click on the date and you will see that revision. Use the Edit tab on that revision and that is where your edit starts, ignoring all changes made since then. Spıke ¬ 00:24 26-Apr-13

OK, thanks for that. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 05:29, April 26, 2013 (UTC)

Forum bumps

Just looking at the recent vandalism of ancient forums. The method used to sort forums I've never used, but it looks similar to DPL last edited date order. In which case to remove the damage done by a vandal screwing with that date, I'd be inclined to:

  1. Delete the old forum
  2. Restore previous revisions to prior to the vandal attack.

As a delete/restore isn't included in a revision summary, this should - theoretically - restore the old history and then sort by the ancient edit date - putting 2007 forums back to the end of the list. This is educated guesswork by the way - I'm not certain about its efficacy at all.                              Puppy's talk page07:51 26 Apr 2013

This would be easy to test, and horribly difficult to clean up the Forum completely. Spıke ¬ 23:35 26-Apr-13

I only saw a dozen or so pages that were bumped by one IP. Delete and restore is slower than revert, but it's also a matter of weighing up the pros and cons.                               Puppy's talk page03:23 27 Apr 2013

Patrol flag

As an aside - the group patrol still works for me.                               Puppy's talk page07:51 26 Apr 2013

The problem is isolated to one of my machines--and has gotten worse since trying to log off and back onto Uncyclopedia.... Spıke ¬ 03:37 27-Apr-13
A corrupted Javascript file, plus errors on the Java Error Console; corrected by flushing my local cache. Thanks for the input, which helped me isolate this. Spıke ¬ 21:24 27-Apr-13

ScottPat's Template

Sorry to bother you Spike but could I ask you for a bit of help? My template I have done on Belgium: Template:Belgium comes out looking funny when I saved the edit. The Uncyclopedia main sign moves position and the wikia policies and help buttons at the bottom of the page appear in the actual template. I copied the Template:Europe and just subbed in the colours, names and links I wanted and yet the European template does'nt suffer from this. So I just wandered if you could help by fixing it and/or teaching me how to fix it. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 11:27, April 27, 2013 (UTC)

I fixed that. When material that should be outside a template goes inside it, it is a giveaway that some element inside the template is incorrectly terminated, in this case, a wikitable. Separately, this coding is not as tight as it could be, as it uses both a wikitable and a DIV. Spıke ¬ 11:34 27-Apr-13

Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 11:34, April 27, 2013 (UTC)

In fact, useful to "bother" me, apart from being a proverbial Second Set of Eyes, as the coding error jumped out at me. Spıke ¬ 11:36 27-Apr-13


I leave later today and will be away until about Weds or Thurs of next week, hopefully Romartus or Frosty will be around to help you out. I'd take the internet with me, but I don't have a smartphone, and I don't know if where we'll be staying has WiFi access or not (if it did I'd bring my laptop). Keep fighting the good fight! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 09:03, April 28, 2013 (UTC)

Well, that is disappointing (though less so than bringing a laptop on vacation!) as I have appreciated having a partner who is so consistently on the same page with respect to editing instructions and advice. I await your return. Spıke ¬ 09:17 28-Apr-13
PS--Considering your time zone, I presume you got a hell of a deal on air fare. Spıke ¬ 09:45 28-Apr-13

User:Capercorn/CLAN UN

Spike I noticed there used to be an Uncyclopedia Oscar Wilde Society. I wondered whether I could restart this society as there are many ruined and derelict societies that are inactive on Uncyclopedia since all the forks happened last year and so I think it might help to get a better sense of community on Uncyclopedia. Do you think this is a good idea? Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:29, April 28, 2013 (UTC)

I have consistently stressed to you that while the Mother Ship is listing to one side, you should not keep looking for small lifeboats that you can command. Pee Review, VFH, and VFD are the core functions; restarting the UnSignpost and perhaps the awards was a really nice touch. Reviving all the little Private Clubs we used to have ought to wait. Besides, the Oscar Wilde Society, to the extent that it affected editing, did so by enshrining writing-to-imitate. Spıke ¬ 20:39 28-Apr-13

I presume you are implying that the best and frankly only way to help the Mother Ship (All heil her) is to write articles and not start up old organisations. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:42, April 28, 2013 (UTC)

Um, no, I am not implying it; I am "stress[ing]" it outright. Not necessarily by writing articles--and not that you're not already doing that--and not by confining yourself to only writing articles--but by ensuring the correct operation of all the systems that keep her afloat. The clubs never did that. Spıke ¬ 20:49 28-Apr-13

Fair enough then. I will carry on as normal. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 05:31, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

Hola senor. Un mesaje (pregunta) en espanol.

Como puedes usar los acentos? Gracias. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:57, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

I'd prefer to respond in English. One way is to hold down the ALT key while typing the extended ASCII code on the keypad. é is ALT+130, á is ALT+160, í is ALT+161, ó is ALT+162 but also terminates the edit for some reason, ú is ALT+163 (ditto), and ñ is ALT+164. The other way is to run charmap, from which you can select any Extended ASCII or Unicode character that you can see in one of your installed fonts, copy it, and return to your browser and paste it into the edit window. By the way, on User talk:Mhaille, where you "haven't a clue," the clue was in my Change Summary. Spıke ¬ 18:02 29-Apr-13

Following on from previous discussions on many talk pages I have finally found a grammar error in your writing. You are not conversing to me in English, nor Spanish but American (See you in two weeks after you ban me for this comment (only kidding I can produce a lot in the next two weeks which will make up for this and you know it)). Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:22, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

PS - Gracias por el aviso con los accentos. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:23, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

American English is English (like it or not). So your accusation of error is in error. Also, no one gets banned here simply for being wrong; just for persistent bad faith. (And don't take that as directed toward you.) There have been no joke bans since Simsie and I were promoted and most everyone else ran away. PS--In my experience, "aviso" is closer to "warning" than "advice." Spıke ¬ 18:33 29-Apr-13

Thanks for recognising the jokey banter again Spike. In reality I don't mind the Americans and have made a few friends over there. Only one problem: Stop the US tourists coming over here and saying, "Wow! Isn't having a Queen just so nice. Wish we had one of these," because it reminds me that the American Revolution was just a pointless waste of time and a huge cost in Human lives. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:11, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

You obviously haven't heard about Queen Michelle. And if it weren't for the American Revolution, the human lifespan would still be 48 years and you would be speaking German. Spıke ¬ 19:15 29-Apr-13

Don't start the whole WW2 thing on us. Britain won the Battle of Britain without the US military getting involved (I do acknowledge the few Americans who fought in it (10 maybe) but I would hardly agree that they made the difference between victory and defeat). As for the rest of the war: We won the North African Campaign without your help. Operation Torch would have been conducted by the 5th British Army with no help from the US and scared Rommel just as much. The Russians didn't get help from the US (in fact Britain helped them but then we're all commies to you lot). The actual D-Day invasion would have taken longer time to prepare for and we would have probably invaded Norway first per Churchill's original plan. However in 1942 the Canadians and British (with 50 US rangers) stormed Dieppe in a disastrous attempt to invade Normandy but from that lessons were learnt which the British (not the Americans) learnt from in the actual D-Day. we took those rubbish tanks you produced en masse (because our tanks were just as bad), made them float (Sherman DD tank), put rocket launchers on them (Sherman Callipoe), made them clear mines (Sherman crab tank) and then modified our own Churchills to cross ditches and lay bridges (Churchill AVRE). The Brits suffered minimal casualties in storming D-Day beaches rather the US troops who didn't use many of our modified tanks were hammered and took a right beating. The Brits may have colonised Normandy when we invaded and if D-Day was late Hitler may have the atomic bomb however the atomic bomb that the allies developed was joint Brit and US so we could have possibly made it ourselves. The Soviets would have taken most of Germany before we'd finally reached Holland so after the war and cold war may have been very different.

The British advanced so much in WW2 and developed so many new technologies. We didn't tell the US about them. No other country realised that the Brits had cracked the enigma machines so we gave them out for "free" to many countries such as the US and listened in on all their top secret conversations without them realising we had the capability to.

The American Revolution was one of Britain's worst military campaigns, the other one being...oh wait nope no others. Besides we got you back in 1812.

Britain is not the 51st state as when we wanted to re-take the Falklands and the US and French attempted to prevent us we just ignored them. Britain still has a fierce but small army (the average number of troops in the British army during peacetime is 40,000 men and this is true going back to a few centuries ago. Today we have a 100,000 strong army). Our military is not declining as in 2016 two new aircraft carriers the biggest ships ever to be built by the Royal Navy will be launched.#

As for Britain's, some may say, diminishing role in the World today this I blame on a history of useless late 20th Century primeministers helping a huge economic crisis. Exceptions are: Thatcher (although she left Britain with barely any industry), Attlee, Churchill and possibly Blair but debatable. Try and compare this with a row of quite good presidents like Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy and Johnson.

Sorry if you are not keen on history but just thought you ought to know. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:58, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

The fact that once a week we need to take time out from productive work to Clear The Air strongly suggests that you are an ex of mine. Although she "put out" (and if you do too, I don't need to know it). Spıke ¬ 09:29 30-Apr-13

Hey Spike I'm just sticking up for my country as I'm sure you do for yours. The message is more to clarify that I will not give in to the debate so that I can make myself feel content. I mean no disrespect and you don't even need to read it. Podemos hablar en espanol otra vez. (Los codigos de teclado me diste no funciona en mi ordenador pero lees espanol bien entonces pienso que no es un problema). Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:18, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

Scott, on British PCs, if I remember right, ALT GR plus the vowel gives you the accented letter. And please remove one of your c's from acento :-). The ñ is no fun to type, but I just gifted you one to copy and paste. Leverage (talk) 18:17, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks pal. Know a bit of Spanish yourself? We should just combine with inciclopedia. Hasta luego!. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 19:16 26, July 2014 18:21, April 30, 2013 (UTC)


Spike, I noticed your comment on VFH and just wanted to say that I thought I guide or HowTo should be written in second person (I have as far as I'm aware eliminating all "we"s and "I"s so it shouldn't be first person) it makes more sense that way. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 05:36, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

I didn't mean to imply you are doing anything wrong. The preachy style, including capital YOU, just strikes me as unencyclopedic, the province of schoolchildren who think that the essence of adulthood is successful nagging. I am simply not a fan of that namespace. Spıke ¬ 09:29 30-Apr-13

That's fine Spike I was just checking that the second person stance was appropriate for HowTos. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:02, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

PS - The use of second person was deliberate and in all my other non-HowTo articles I have never uttered that cursed word. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:31, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

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