User talk:SPIKE

New stuff at the end, please; I'll make it fit into the section organization after the topic dies down.

Is this about UnNews or UnNews audio? If so, talk to me here.

I don't routinely put a Watch on other people's talk pages. Nothing personal! I endorse keeping a conversation together on a single talk page, but a few days after the conversation ends, I will Unwatch you--the alternative being endless false alarms.

---

Anything typed here I may post-edit clerically. Typically, I combine parts of dialogues that took place on the other guy's talk page. Some conversations that pertain to the text of an article are moved to that article's talk page.

Archives

• Ceremonial greetings and cookies received in '09 from Thekillerfroggy, MrN9000, Romartus, Pelargonium, and Hyperbole.
• Forum threads I created in '09-'10 on multiple articles on the same theme, my proposal for the style guide on encyclopedia clichés, articles written from an uncyclopedic point of view, background-image in CSS, and suggested changes to {{Q}}.
• My entries in the 8th Poo Lit Surprise: Clip-on tie, Rules of baseball (a winner), and FORTRAN.
• Pee reviews I did in '09-'10: ITSCON, MGMT, Third-wave feminism, Hyphenation, Hard disk drive, Ozzy Osborne.
• Technical issues in '09-'10: Changing my user name; specifying a custom signature in a file; specifying a background color for data-entry windows; putting in for Redirect rights.
• Conversations in '10 that are done.
• Conversations in '10 about the Islam article.
• Conversations in '11.
• Discussions of civics and politics in '12.

I saw you edit!

Please say this means you'll hang around more. Please? I've missed you. 1234 ~ 01:26, 10 November 2011

Welcome back, SPIKE. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:42, 10 November 2011

Back SPIKE, welcome. --ShabiDOO 11:40, November 10, 2011 (UTC)

I was just joining when you left, but I have heard about your legend! Welcome back! Mattsnow 17:55, November 10, 2011 (UTC)

yo whats good? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:10, November 10, 2011 (UTC)

He's back finally! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 20:17, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

Spike! Spike! Spike! -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 16 November 2011, at 02:01

We thought you got stuck in some rosebushes! Welcome back! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:55, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

Yup

California is a red link. Speaking of which, you're allowed to keep a couple red links on articles, so people will be encouraged to write those titles. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:38, 16 December 2011

UnNews

Hey Spike, I know you were once the UnNews editor, and now I am but not because I asked for it at all. I like it, though, but the one thing I really don't like is userspacing articles, while trying to be diplomatic with users, which I think I do well. It is also kind of time-consuming since there are a lot of UnNews being written as of now, and I am kind of a maniac about it being checked daily. Would you be opened to split the "work" in 2? We could ask each other for a second opinion on everything, from the managment of templates to userspacing articles. I know you don't know me much, just ask about me to admins on IRC if you want further details on me. It is a very serious offer, I think there is work for 2 there, especially since there is so often a need for a second opinion. Merry Christmas! Mattsnow 14:06, December 26, 2011 (UTC)

Spike is the Third Policeman. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:46, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

An answer from Spike would be nice, I hold you in high esteem Mattsnow 00:38, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

Please don't bother him, he got some PTSD (Post Thekillerfroggy Stretched Disambigution). Time heals all things. Aleister 12:44 20-1-'12

Thanks for adding to minitrue, SPIKE! That's an aspect of the UnNews I always forget. BTW, my prior offer still stands buddy! Mattsnow 02:15, February 20, 2012 (UTC)

Al is Uncyclopedia's Doctor Pangloss. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:15, February 27, 2012 (UTC)

Someone said there were lollies here. There aren't. I'm disappointed. And leaving again. Pup 01:32 27 Feb '12

Thanks for SPIKING my changes...

... as well as my reply to that, without saying a word in response. You're one hell of a debater, aren't you? Have fun deleting this post; you'll have won the argument yet again! Stumbo (talk) 04:13, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

That may have been a mistake by Spike but I saw your comment as well in the history of this page. Not called for. User page discussions are usually kept UNLESS it's out and out abuse and even then a user may prefer to keep the comments (ref to my own talk page discussion with Tasmania on this matter). Now what article are you talking about Stumbo? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:07, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

The article is Brave New World.

I'm not claiming that my additions were the funniest stuff since sliced bread, but what was "not called for" was deleting them with an insulting comment ("listcruft"). Each one of my jokes, such as they were, actually made sense; so, while I of course can't insist that they must remain, I'd like for that decision to be a bit better-justified.

Stumbo (talk) 09:07, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

Looking at the list in the history and cross referencing with the source material I would agree it isn't listcruft as I how I understand it. All the characters mentioned to do appear in the book (or ones with names close to it). A real listcruft' would include nonsense names like Jesus, Your Mom, Chuck Norris etc. Still, saying all this Stumbo I would have suggested you had been a bit less confrontational and asked politely why Spike chose to revert your lines. Many writers (including me) have had their stuff reverted by an author who disagreed with which way an article is going under another's hand. Normally my policy is to check who has worked on it before you found it or if it is brand new article, approach the author and ask for their views. If you don't agree then you can always ask another's opinion . No one has any need to reach for verbal baseball (or cricket) bats. That can happen later but you will be both asked to step outside and fight it out in the street. Give us enough time to alert the CCTV operators. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:29, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

Sir. Brave New World is written like an encyclopedia article that plays fast and loose with the truth. Your appendix is a list. I called it crufty because the list elements are cheap puns on a character's name, each followed by a wisecrack. It is indistinguishable from a common form of vandalism in which a young reader reads a paragraph and types in his clever personal reaction to the text. The italic text is especially ugly. It is not up to the rest of the article, so I deleted it.

When you asked for clarification on my archive page from last year, coded a cryptic link to it on this page, and then deleted it, I assumed it was more vandalism, did not remember who you were--it being a month since I reverted your edits to Brave New World--and rolled it back without reading it. Spıke ¬ 20:16 7-Mar-12

Brian Scalabrine on VFD

Howdy, Mr. SPIKE Person!...I was just wondering if you have any advice for Brian Scalabrine. I realize it ain't killingly funny, but I've been suffering from some killer word-cramp for the past few months, and this is the first time in quite a while I've actually been able to make myself laugh. I saw your article on Delonte West, and I was wondering if you've got any advice on tying this puppy up in a neat bow. For instance, I've been trying to work in his fan nickname (White Mamba), but it's so mind-numbingly dumb that even mocking it dumps a bucket of cold water on the the Funny. Any thoughts? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 9 '12 10:38 (UTC)

No, Scalabrine no longer being a Celtic, I will not be aware of new stuff on him (nor on West!) with which to crack wise. You seem to be doing fine, and I dump it in your lap. Spıke ¬ 11:34 9-Apr-12

PS--I liked v2 of the photo more than v3: More obviously a shoop, more implicit drama. Spıke ¬ 11:41 9-Apr-12

Yeah, but I dislike obvious image manipulations, and this is really the effect I was going for in the first place. I mean, in his Wikipedia picture, he looks like somebody stuck his cat in a hydraulic press, forced him to come to work, and then paid a photographer $20 bucks to ask him "Hey, Brian! Why the long face?" See...it's a visual gag. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 9 '12 12:39 (UTC)

Hey - I know I nommed an article you both like for deletion, but I don't think I deserve to be tied in a bow. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:29 09 Apr

It's a figure of speech, you edit-conflicting wanker. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 9 '12 12:39 (UTC)

Hang on - was that meant to be a wanker who edit conflicts, or an edit of a conflicting wanker? How do you have conflict in wanking? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:47 09 Apr

You know what a hyphen is? It's a grammar device that clears up conflicts. I always load my shotgun full of 'em before I go huntin' bogans. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 9 '12 12:54 (UTC)

Québec

At first I was like: WHO DARES EDIT THE GLORIOUS QUEBEC ARTICLE???...But then I was like: hmm, it's actually better, I should go and thank him! Mattsnow 22:40, May 7, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you! Just tightening up the wording a little. I trust the reason you moved the photo of the pretty girls away from where they are discussed is that you are running with the standard fonts and it might have been cramped on your screen. There are a couple other sections I might also tighten up. A separate problem is that pieces of the page take positions rather than crack wise (stealing land from the Indians is bad, Quebecers agree with Trudeau) but I leave the solution of that to you. Spıke ¬ 00:37 8-May-12

By all means do it! Tweak it all you want, if I disagree, I'll just revert and send you a message why I thought it's better my way. But remember this is my home country and the article I am most proud of, I moved the pic only since I didn't want text to be sandwiched between 2 pics, but maybe that moved a pic related to the text a little bit too far down.... I'm opened to your input, of course, and if you have input on how UnNews is managed globally, I'd be more than hppy to listen to you. Very frankly. I don't know how you stumbled on Quebec, but WE WILL NEVER REST UNTIL GLORIOUS SOVEREIGNTY IS ACHIEVED!!! LOL Mattsnow 00:59, May 8, 2012 (UTC)

I feel the same way about New Hampshire, although if we became independent we would flop between socialism and crony-mercantilism faster than any South American nation. Given your invitation, I will play with the initial quotes. Regarding UnNews, I have no problem with the way you are running it, nor desire to share the load; my former attempt to manage things globally attracted drama approaching vendetta, summarized in the last section of my user page. I once tried to e-mail you about your UnNews invitation. Spıke ¬ 01:09 8-May-12

E-mail thing: really? I am very ashamed to say I maybe flushed it along with the stuff I receive from the French Uncy. I would of course answered it. Sorry, I thought you were really shunning any form of communication. Try again, so I'll know it is you even if it winds up in my spam box for some stupid reason. I opened the option in "my preferences" and it should work. I knew there was a problem and you were banned and managing UnNews, but that is all. I don't like drama, I'm trying my best to steer clear of it. My UnNews philosophy is that as long as I give it 6/10, it is worthy of the front page, since I think a New Unnews a day keeps the doctor away. I userspaced a lot of UnNews a month or so ago, but since then, I think they are all worthy! That is really where I'd need a second opinion. Sorry for being TL;DR, but I think it is important. Mattsnow 01:39, May 8, 2012 (UTC)

Just saw your recent edit on Quebec, I have no words... You rock! Mattsnow 01:49, May 8, 2012 (UTC)

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I am pretty much done with this. Thank you for not going to the Forum and opening a vote that I be banned for it (as it seems lately that "no good deed goes unpunished"). The only pieces I have not touched are the remote cities I've never been to, and Section 4, which does nothing but flog a few old stereotypes without much new cleverness. I would delete that; also Chibougamau, as it's trite to deal with a place by proposing that it might not exist. (We did not need my new section on Sherbrooke, but I noticed that Uncyclopedia has a main article on it.) In my opinion, what are now the two final paragraphs don't do anything except end the article neatly. My line about the "linguistic leper colony" seems like a better parting slap-in-the-face to the reader, so I would put Economy before Politics to end it like that. Spıke ¬ 17:16 9-May-12

Hahaha, you really did improve it! Sherbrooke was somehow left out. I guess you came to Quebec City, how did you like it? It must be easy to get around with English only. If you want to collab with me on an unfinished article, I have User:Mattsnow/World War II in the works, as you can imagine it will be a ton of work, and I started it with C2H6O, but it turns out he was banned for being Puppy's sockpuppet (Puppy being infinibanned for that, incredibly). Mattsnow 17:58, May 9, 2012 (UTC)

I just read it thoroughly and it is awesome! Hilarious stuff! I didn't know Sherbrooke had an article. I guess an article about Quebec city is definitely required... Mattsnow 18:39, May 9, 2012 (UTC)

In fact, in the two years after the demise of the Massachusetts Mad Dogs, I went to Quebec several times every year and was a fan of Les Capitales. It was easy with English at the ballpark and the hotel; at the lunch buffet, I still had enough French left to read the game summary in Le Journal.

Of your last three edits, the only one I don't like is the "so it doesn't exist." The joke that nothing outside our region exists is trite--the residents of everywhere are provincial. The only reason I wrote it was to say that Ottawa is outside the scope of the article--as a segue to start discussing Gatineau.

As you have not commented on my suggested deletions/reorg above, I assume you are OK if I go ahead and do them. Spıke ¬ 18:47 9-May-12

Oh yes, I'm good with them all! No problem. Mattsnow 19:01, May 9, 2012 (UTC)

---

Hey! I just saw that you added a lot of stuff to the Quebec article once again!!! I didn't know. It really is hilarious man, of course I am biased, but I think it is one of the most hilarious article on the wiki :) Mattsnow 15:22, June 5, 2012 (UTC)

World War II

If you want to collab on User:Mattsnow/World War II no problem at all. Mattsnow 01:20, May 13, 2012 (UTC)

I don't know enough history to help you with the global planning, although I could come in later to rephrase stuff. Romartus is our virtuoso on any topic involving any aspect of world history. I'll take a hack at the intro. General suggestions: Take care to avoid patting yourself on the back for clever phrasings, such as the proper abbreviation of the war; avoid moralizing ("overkill" and "steal" in the Infobox). 09:39 13-May-12 PS--"The timeline" contains funny material, but is a quibble not significant enough to dwell on, and ultimately shouldn't be the first section. Spıke ¬ 09:51 13-May-12

Forum:Is an indefinite ban too long for an "established user"?

Hello, he who went quiet. You do realize that in that Puppy forum you didn't answer even one of the topics I had brought up? I don't want to go into it anymore, and the forum is closed, so I'll just leave it at Hello Spike (original name of this post:WTF). And what was with the Pee Buddy Award contest? It was thought up in honor of you, the microphone of UnNews, you knucklehead, and you let the thing rot on the vine. A whole contest in which you could have helped to bring back the recording end of UnNews, and you skipped it. I'll leave that topic alone too, and just say Hello Spike (original name of this post:WTF). Aleister 16:00 13-5-'12

p.s. I should have asked you this when the contest was ongoing, but could you please record my entry in the Pee Buddy contest, UnNews:Local man drops vase? It was the only entry in the rewrite division. It would be fun if you could record all the entries, or at least the winner by Mattsnow. Thanks for considering it! 22:24 13-5-'12

I addressed the issues of concern at the start of Section 1 of the Forum. It was not the answer you want. Separately, UnNews Audio has come to seem a self-congratulatory waste of time. I understand you want to be congratulated, but see above. Spıke ¬ 12:27 14-May-12

Scottie Pippen

Good work on Scottie Pippen. Care to stick around and improve its content? Spıke ¬ 10:25 18-May-12

I wish I could; unfortunately, I don't have the comedic flair some of you guys have. I'm mostly just good at copyediting and at spotting unfunny additions by autistic preteens. If you want an article thus polished, send it over and I'll try to oblige. 65.8.93.228 14:58, May 18, 2012 (UTC)

All right; I simply noticed that you were doing good work and wanted to encourage you to take a broader view. Many of our pages on NBA stars are built by "autistic preteens" and need not just copyediting but a change in focus, such as away from penis size. Writing funny stuff can be learned; maybe browse our "How to Be Funny and Not Just Stupid" for suggestions. Spıke ¬ 15:18 18-May-12

Yeah, and go ahead and sign up. It's fun. And the thing we stick in your brain only hurts for the first few seconds. One of us! One of us! Gooble-gobble gooble-gobble! We will make you one of us! ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, May 18 '12 17:27 (UTC)

Kwanzaa/Classic

How about this great idea - uncy features the Kwanzaa rewrite not if it gets the vote (in late-May, kind of funny in itself) and then we plan to put Kwanzaa/Classic up for feature vote in December?!!? That would be very doable, and you could polish your good page even further and add so much into it to make it a real "classic", literally. Sound good? Aleister 1:03 21-5-'12

I had occasion today to e-mail a local talk host to beg him not to try disorganization jokes because they were too hard to tell from the real thing, and I will say the same thing to you about featuring either Kwanzaa article in May. It will tickle your fancy and the casual reader will just go, "Huh?" Write for the reader. Spıke ¬ 01:08 21-May-12

PS--Also, I don't care whether my version ever gets featured. Anon's is the more notable article. Mine is a passable repair job of what was there previously, but it is the more appropriate Mainspace article. I neither pursue featuring nor perfection, and I am done with it, except that if someone adds stuff, I will try to harmonize it with what's there. Spıke ¬ 01:15 21-May-12

You are a hard man, SPIKE, and a hard man is good to find. There's a lot of time between now and December for your page to be put in very good condition. This other article was a fluke, and I think more people will laugh that it is featured besides me. More importantly, maybe the IP who wrote it may sign up and stick around, or edit as an IP and win awards and things as an IP, which would also be funny. To me, not to anyone else. Hopefully he'll sign up with a name and all. Aleister 1:29 21-5-'12

Well, I hope so too; but, being an Anon and all, he might never know his fluke was featured. The only thing we know for sure that he read was the assertion that he ought not have made major changes to an Established Page without seeking our prior approval. Spıke ¬ 02:07 21-May-12

I wouldn't worry about that, you guys. The IP in question has revealed itself as an incarnation of "Anonymous Crumpeteer", an anonymous user that has shown itself to know the ropes of the site. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:40, 21 May 2012

Quoting usernames

Just wondering...why you used quotes around my username in your edit summary... ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, May 24 '12 12:53 (UTC)

Nothing personal; I often do. Some usernames (not yours) require quotes to be clear that they are someone's name. I have no doubt that "Bizzeebeever" is in fact your given name. Spıke ¬ 12:56 24-May-12

Ok. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, May 24 '12 13:00 (UTC)

User Coolidge

What about this "Coolidge", eh? He's able to string multiple coherent sentences together, and his work has elements of humor which the BizzeebeeverBot 2000 is able to recognize. However, he seems to have a hatred hard-on for the USAF and Korean-American chicks. Also, he likes to get into edit wars. Think he's "trouble"? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, May 29 '12 3:31 (UTC)

Not much. But we should keep an eye on him.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 03:41, May 29, 2012 (UTC)

Simsilikesims did so overnight; see User talk:Coolidge. I do not value his contributions--they seem unlikely to meld with anything that pre-existed on a page--but my only role was to tell him in a Change Summary that they didn't belong on the Korea disambiguation page. Seems he doesn't read Change Summaries. Spıke ¬ 10:44 29-May-12

UnNews from Simdawgmillionaire

Do you think I was off about User:Simdawgmillionaire/UnNews:Upstart master race of whales set to take over the oceans?? I should always ask for a 2nd opinion, I admit. I user spaced it. We need to collab on something, give me ideas! Mattsnow 22:00, May 31, 2012 (UTC)

Apart from my suggestions on writing headlines on his talk page, I am not rejoining UnNews; it's your job now, to maintain the biggest joke of all, the façade that UnNews itself is a Respectable News Organization, and to take all the resulting crap. Am only here to write funny stuff in the event (as I add to every consulting agreement) that I feel like it. Spıke ¬ 22:37 31-May-12

ExperimentSock

Your anticipation of being banned, and your dare to the Admins that to do so would be making a statement about them, is as unappealing as when a caller tells a talk-show host that the host is about to hang up; it is guilt-based, preemptive manipulation. Your conviction that you are doing us the service of probing the ambiguity of the rules is at once self-indulgence and the perception of external conspiracy against you. You have been on a self-based crusade for weeks and have seriously disrupted the creative purpose of this website for the sake of making that one final point, even though no one knows what the point is, except that you see something the rest of us don't. Why don't you stalk that ex-girlfriend. You know you need to have the last word. No, the last last word. Spıke ¬ 01:40 1-Jun-12

Should I put him on Ban Patrol?---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 01:47, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

If (y)our guess is correct, it is an obvious ban evasion. Less technically, it is another event to be pursued instead of writing Funny Stuff. I think you should. Spıke ¬ 01:51 1-Jun-12

Done. I wonder what he's trying to get at?---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 01:54, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

My take on that question is summarized at the start of this section, copied here from his user page, which I expect them to delete. Spıke ¬ 01:57 1-Jun-12

So basically he's some attention whore trying to make a point that nobody knows about.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 02:07, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

As Bizzeebeever stated on the guy's talk page, which I also expect them to delete: It would be PuppyOnTheRadio--yes, trying to make a point that nobody knows about, along the lines that we benefit from his continuing association with us, notwithstanding the rules and the goal of this website. Spıke ¬ 02:22 1-Jun-12

Probably. Wish he was still around. Not as a sockpuppet, of course---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 03:08, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

Myself, I have no issue with the guy. He is/was a solid contributor. But he essentially asked for a ban, and then sockpuppeted to get around the ban, again and again and again and again. The rules is the rules. Whether you hate the admins and think they wield too much power and are too petty, or whether you're just being an ass, the only real power the admins have over you is that they can stop you from editing. That's it. And flouting that just pisses them off, and annoys everybody else.

In the end, I probably shouldn't have left anything on his talk page. Paying any attention to him is counter-productive. I'd advise not reporting him to BP in the future, and I wouldn't have done it this time. Now let's get back to reverting vandals and writing shit. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jun 1 '12 3:50 (UTC)

Bizzee ably sums up the Puppy episode. Since then, though, Mrthejazz has taken credit for ExperimentSock, declaring that he's never coming back and it's our fault. On the heels of opening a forum asking to be made an Admin, the focus on our opinions and our reactions to being pranked make me doubt even that he's never coming back. But file with the above, under counter-productive. Spıke ¬ 15:22 1-Jun-12

Support for ChiefjusticeDS

If you're accusing myme of self-promo then you've got the wrong ideas. I just want to get this fucking trash bin of a project back to it's formalformer glory.

It wasn't even me who pitched the idea, it was EMC. I just assumed control after he lost some interest. Cut me some slack here, bro. →A (Ruins) 23:14, June 2, 2012 (UTC)

"Bro," you don't have the stripes to lay down the law to the Chief. I don't care if the Signpost fell onto your humble shoulders, you are acting unilaterally, overusing the word "shall," and deprecating the effort of those who went before you. I caught grief on UnNews for doing none of the above. Your denial that you primarily engage in self-promotion does not have to be rebutted. Spıke ¬ 23:22 2-Jun-12

I'm selling something. It's my last hope to get Chief to throw me this sack of shit so I can make it into something special-something people actually want to read. You should be aiding me for the best of the community, not hindering my attempts to make something better. →A (Ruins) 23:50, June 2, 2012 (UTC)

Morrissey

I was just writing a comedy article. If you want me to do something funny, let me know! What's wrong with creating an article? Morrissey needed to be more than that. His vegetarianism needed to be picked on too! 76.111.54.150 02:37, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

I don't know if I'm allowed to reveal this publicly, but I'll do it in small print. I turn 13 in a couple months. Yep, that right there is why I'm not registering and just staying as an IP. 76.111.54.150 02:46, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

It seemed to be an article about a specific, non-notable person; that is, cyber-bullying, which we don't allow. (I think we say, "We don't want to know about your friends.") We do indeed want you to do something funny and/or create an article--not "pick on" people. See Uncyclopedia:Requested articles for ideas. Spıke ¬ 02:48 3-Jun-12

PS--I don't think there is an age limit, and in fact we have several Problem Children. However, we are the type of people your mom doesn't want you associating with. Take a name, please! Spıke ¬ 02:50 3-Jun-12

PPS--Having seen your latest, my conclusion is that your goal here is just to pick on people you know. We'll see if they agree to ban you. Spıke ¬ 03:08 3-Jun-12

Morrisey's notable. I've heard his music (I think). Also, Ottis Toole was a cereal killer. Oh, and Thomas Beattie was that dude who gave birth. So no cyberbullying, just lame, borderline-libelous stuff.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jun 3 '12 3:18 (UTC)

I stand corrected; doesn't deserve a ban, just a chair in the corner with a copy of UN:HTBFANJS. Spıke ¬ 03:21 3-Jun-12

Yep. XD  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jun 3 '12 3:22 (UTC)

Applies, too, to the kid who's been hacking up Richard M. Nixon in the past hour. Spıke ¬ 03:24 3-Jun-12

Thanks for understanding. I use weird references in my comedy. I also had past experience! 76.111.54.150 03:26, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

No, I'm not understanding. Comedy is for the reader, not for the writer to celebrate his weirdness. I've removed my ban request. Now pick a user name, and get started with UN:HTBFANJS. Spıke ¬ 03:30 3-Jun-12

On ninth thought, Trans Man, your latest, is not humor either. And I am done changing your diapers. Spıke ¬ 03:44 3-Jun-12

Autoconfirmed users

E-Mail is required here (not at other wikia places), and I don't have my personal one. However, I was able to do all of the other stuff and a wrong b-day with ease! That's why I don't have one yet. Sorry. Unfortunately, I may forget about this place in the morning. 76.111.54.150 03:42, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

Pretty sure you can fill in a fake email. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 04:14, 3 June 2012

When I registered, I had to activate my account by clicking the link in the email Wikia sent me. Not sure if "activation" is mandatory, but if it wasn't, what would be the point of the email... ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jun 3 '12 5:05 (UTC)

Email confirmation (clicking that link) is mandatory now, but it didn't use to be. 1234 ~ 05:07, 3 June 2012

Yes, Socky, you can provide a fake e-mail. But you cannot receive the welcome message with it! and thus cannot acquire "autoconfirmed" status. Wikia volunteered (and has obeyed) such restraints on the use of my e-mail address that this was not a deal-breaker. Anon's works were all tagged--then the Chief huffed them, including the talk page he set up to receive correspondence, but they have not seen fit to ban him. Spıke ¬ 10:17 3-Jun-12

GermanPug

Hi, Spike! Where I can find the Germany Flag Icon?--GermanPug was here! SPRICH, FREUND! 12:44, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

Boop. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 12.73.189.13 (talk • contribs)

Shape-shifting

Doesn't seem very funny, but it's not "Chuck Norris Mr. T OVAR NINE THOUSAND KITTENS HUFFED!!11eleventy1", so I just put an {{AAP}} on it. Think I should have ICUd it? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jun 5 '12 7:11 (UTC)

I watched this one take "shape"--Your damned RecentChanges widgets are just too much fun. Often on VFD I describe the ten-year-old's torture of being made to pick a theme and speak "extemporaneously" about it. That's what this is. As it seems it was done in a single sitting, perhaps a flash Pee Review on his talk page would make the point that he is not done, or perhaps has not begun. Spıke ¬ 08:58 5-Jun-12

Well, I'm not going to be the one to shower him with reality. Have at him, Sir. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 9:56 (UTC)

You know what? I suddenly see some actual Funny in it now. Not very much per square foot, mind you, and the funny parts are outnumbered by encyclopedia clichés, my personal bugaboo. I'm going in. Spıke ¬ 10:11 6-Jun-12

Bizzeebeever's letter to Wikia

Meanwhile, BB, your letter to Wikia neglects the cardinal rule of writing: Whenever you write anything, know what your goal is, and have everything you write serve that goal. Your goal in writing to Wikia is to persuade. You allow yourself to digress to cracking wise (the perennial currency of social interaction here) and even patting yourself on the back for your cleverness. You join several people in the Forum in seemingly trying to make a name for yourself as an activist rather than achieve the maximum effect.

Persuasion will be difficult, as avoiding complaint-letters from morons (and subsequent lawsuits), while not one of our goals, is obviously one of Wikia's; it is part of minimizing the cost of providing their service. They and we have different values, most acutely, their desire to use our content to induce exposure to their advertising, which various of our users view as either prostitution or surrender to capitalism.

Specific aspects of your letter that reduce its persuasiveness include:

• Airing our past history with Wikia when writing to a person who might not have been part of that history.
• Doubting that the reader can detect sarcasm.
• Predicting (as a pre-emptive guilt trip) that the reader will not take your letter seriously.

Experience suggests that they will give you a response that is much more businesslike than your letter to them--especially as the people on their front lines have been trained that they are dealing with creative personnel and not vendors of pencils. But it does cost them to turn this around, and I am unaware that they are making any money from their association with us, apart from selling our surfing activity to Google, as the ads at the bottom of our articles are all cross-promotions and never for soap flakes. How much more of this before they dump us, long before we can even storm off in a huff? Spıke ¬ 11:07 6-Jun-12

Thanks for the pointers, Spike, but I did have a goal, and it wasn't to persuade, it was to galvanize by mockery. Does my letter read like that of a pompous, self-aggrandizing smart-ass who is overwhelmed by his own cleverness? Yep. Hi, I'm Bizzeebeever. Nice to meet you.

Wikia, in this matter, has displayed the attitude of a bumbling, risk-averse, reactive corporacy, which runs contrary to their professed desire to serve open and free discourse. Their responses so far have been a clear, firm, "It's going to happen, and it's not so bad, guys, so why don't you all just live with it?" For that obliviousness, they richly deserve to be mocked, and as they had already rebuffed you and Mattsnow, who employed polite diplomacy, I felt mockery was not going to hurt anything. If they are not true idiots, the letter may do some good; if they are idiots, the letter may at least entertain them. Sometimes mockery succeeds where politeness and diplomacy fail. Usually it doesn't. And sometimes, those being mocked send you to the Guillotine. If that happens, though, it was only a matter of time, to begin with. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 12:03 (UTC)

No, your strategy is persuasion; your tactic was mockery; the tactic won't achieve the strategy because mockery rarely persuades and it almost always makes your adversary dig in. Also, writing a successful business letter based on an alternate persona is much harder even than writing a good Uncyclopedia article based on an alternate persona. You were conducting a public performance, an expertise that would do more good if used to build the mainspace. Spıke ¬ 12:10 6-Jun-12

That's not my persona, that's actually me. I'm guessing you probably wouldn't like me if you met me. At any rate, before I sent it, I hadn't intended to post the letter here. I suppose I should have waited until I received what will be, in all likelyhood, a cold and officious rebuttal from our gracious hosts. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 12:19 (UTC)

Cripes! so Wikia is going to blow you off, and I wouldn't even like you! In fact, I've found you one of the more deliberate and level-headed of the new users. However, if we acquire inevitable disagreements, remember that calmness and understanding of the other's values works better than theatrics. Spıke ¬ 12:44 6-Jun-12

You take those insults about "deliberateness" and "level-headedness" back, you Texas brush-popper. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 12:47 (UTC)

Don't call me a Texan! bastard Spıke ¬ 12:54 6-Jun-12

See what happens when you inject a little humor? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 12:58 (UTC)

Only two inconvenient facts: (1) You had not been trying to convince me of anything, and (2) You did not.

Meanwhile, Shape-shifting is coming along nicely. Cat the Colourful took time out from being a fellow drama queen to contribute a photo as you requested, and I found another at Deep Space 9. I'll leave it to the author (who has not been on board in over a day since he created this) to supercharge the humor. If he doesn't come through, Romartus can be depended on to take articles on the Humanities in new directions, as he just did with Tetragrammaton. Spıke ¬ 15:31 6-Jun-12

Cool. I'll watch to see how it comes along. But isn't "drama queen" a little unfair?

On a separate note...

User FlameHorse

What should be done about this clown? He spams his monkeyed Garfield comics everywhere. His contributions seem to consist of (a) uploading Garfield strips with poorly-lettered shock dialogue, (b) inserting them into pages where they don't do much besides mess up the formatting, and (c) whinging at the admin(s) when he's reverted. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Jun 7 '12 3:46 (UTC)

"What should be done" is rollback, ban, etc. Putting one's calling-card inside various articles is about ego and not about being careful to write what best makes the reader laugh. You seem to be saying that Admins are already doing it. So what I am going to do is hope for the eventual crusade against Bronies. Spıke ¬ 11:00 7-Jun-12

ALL BRONIES MUST DIE!! : ) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:21, 7 June 2012

The week-long ban he got a while ago didn't seem to discourage him. >_<  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Jun 7 '12 12:05 (UTC)

In the current month, he has only done it once. (Style demerits for not following the insertion with a hard return.) Xamralco reverted him, leading him to spam Xamralco's user page, now sysop-protected. FlameHorse is somewhere between churl and vandal, but he has pissed off an Admin, and justice will out. Spıke ¬ 12:16 7-Jun-12

Quebec

Just asked the question about featuring on Sock's talkpage, feel free to add to what I said! Mattsnow 01:30, June 8, 2012 (UTC)

Ayuh. Been in Maine all evenin'. Spıke ¬ 03:31 8-Jun-12

Do you like fishing? Me and my best friend have 68 so far, including a 12 inches and a half one! 8 tonight. ( In free spaces, we don't see the interest to go on a pourvoiries, where people pay and don't catch anything!) We are walking in rivers we find on google, walking a mile or 2 in the forest while these rich assholes are floating in lakes, catching nothing. The trouts are in the rivers this time of the year. Mattsnow 04:02, June 8, 2012 (UTC)

No, I like baseball. Saw Conor Biggio hit a single, double, triple, and home run for the visitors from North Adams, Mass., while none of the home team reached second base. I said it might be the most impressive thing we see all season. People around me were wondering how it will feel to watch 20 more losses. Spıke ¬ 11:44 8-Jun-12

PS--There is "fee fishing" around here too, but most fishing is on public waters for which one needs a state license. Fee fishing is nice because the business is motivated to keep the pond well-stocked to keep customers coming back. "Rich assholes" don't make me poor; spending time here does. Spıke ¬ 16:48 8-Jun-12

Bizzeebeever: customizing reports

that thing you asked about...I just chopped together a watchlist widget, you can get it to work by including

importScript( "User:Bizzeebeever/scripts/watchgadget.js" )

in your user script. It includes an "(unwatch)" link for every page. I have only tested it in two browsers, so let me know if it works for you. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jun 10 '12 15:40 (UTC)

Oh, that is schweet. Quibbles: "(unwatch)" is too verbose for a rarely-used option; perhaps just a logo (red circle/slash)? And if it appeared before the page title, they would all line up and you wouldn't have to scan to find them. Spıke ¬ 15:56 10-Jun-12

A more important note if you are going to do software engineering for other people's use: If you would incorporate a date code or a version number into the name (User:Bizzeebeever/scripts/watchgadget-v1.js for example), then I could use your work without implicitly picking up your future experimentation, future bugs, and future features I don't care to adopt. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 16:20 10-Jun-12

Advice noted; I'll probably do that for future versions of patrol.js, but I doubt I'll be adding features to watchgadget.js, other than to improve the way it detects links. (By the way, there will be pages that show up with the "unwatch" symbol next to them which aren't actually on your watchlist. This is because the MediaWiki software is...sadly...retarded. Also, I can't test in I.E., because Wikia's CONTENT WARNING has broken the site scripts. Imagine that!)

I made the other changes you suggested; refresh your cache and tell me if they work for you. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jun 10 '12 16:42 (UTC)

I already had done so (Schweeter!) and was dicking around with finding your 13px-symbol to include in my reply to you. FYI, I am running Mozilla 3.0.8. Next idea: Rollbackz also needs to be symbol-ized. Spıke ¬ 16:46 10-Jun-12

...wow, are you running Windows 95? *snicker*

And what do you mean by "rollbacks"? Do you mean, just change the word [rollback] to a symbol, or make it so you can rollback a change from recentChanges without leaving the page? If it's the latter, I very much doubt that's a good idea. I've already accidentally rolled back other peoples' changes twice now, just because I have a touchpad and I was too slow to hit ESC. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jun 10 '12 17:00 (UTC)

For your information, I do run Win95, and DOS for anything that doesn't require the Cartoon Interface; and have Firefox 1.5 installed on Win98, though I don't actually surf anywhere with it. And yes, I meant just change the word [rollback]. I too have made mistakes (though it's trivial to roll back your rollback). Among other things, I thought it would be harder to do so if the target were smaller. Spıke ¬ 01:50 11-Jun-12

FreeDOS + OPENGEM? :D

Try putting this --> @import "/wiki/User:Bizzeebeever/styles/rollback.css?action=raw&ctype=text/css"; into the very top of this file (if you use the uncyclopedia theme). If you just want to use JavaScript, use this: importStylesheet( "User:Bizzeebeever/styles/rollback.css" ). It uses a CSS trick I learned a few years ago from the Apple website, no javascript needed. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jun 11 '12 9:32 (UTC)

I put it where all my CSS goes. (No, not on a floppy disk.) Ran into the old bug that Wikia blocks the use of url() in such places, so I had to get a local copy of the logo. And had to add !important to background-repeat. Just what I wanted, thanks; and if you ever find I rolled you back, you'll know it's a mistake. Spıke ¬ 11:09 11-Jun-12

Okee-dokee. As for me, I use five or six different browsers, so I find that it's sometimes more convenient to keep site-specific CSS on the site itself, and it seems to be working for me, at the moment, even with the url() function in the code. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jun 11 '12 12:01 (UTC)

Inhibiting display

One last annoyance. Since you use user-css with Firefox, here's a neat bit for you:

	.ContentWarning.WikiaArticle {
		display: none !important;
		}

	.ShowContentWarning #content {
		background-color: #FFFFFF !important;
		background-image: none !important;
		}

	#siteNotice {
		display: block;
		}

	#bodyContent {
		display: block !important;
		overflow: auto !important;
		visibility: visible !important;
		width: auto !important;
		}		

This should hide the CONTENT WARNING from ever appearing for you again — at least, on your browser. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jun 12 '12 11:12 (UTC)

I see you reverted that, but let me reply--

I never see the Content Warning while logged on, as Wikia has made it remember my preferences for gratuitous sex, racism, and offense. I have seen it recently from two ballparks, but I would just as soon see it so I know which box to click.

However, having cut the width of the left column in half and eliminated some categories, I would like it to go away entirely, as I nearly always go to pages using the (recently returned to sensible operation, at user option) search bar, or from reports. What is the element that most elegantly can be set to display: none? Spıke ¬ 11:22 12-Jun-12

You mean the nav-bar? That thing over <<-- there? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jun 12 '12 11:48 (UTC)

Exactly. Spıke ¬ 11:50 12-Jun-12

#column-one { display: none } will get rid of the logo and navbar completely. HOWEVAH: the main content pane remains where it is, and does not fill the screen, if that's what you're looking for. I can drum up the css to change that, if you'd like. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jun 12 '12 11:51 (UTC)

Oh, and don't use that, because it gets rid of the toolbar at the top of the page. >.< Doesn't appear to be a simple way. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jun 12 '12 12:04 (UTC)

I was about to complain. Perhaps I'll continue tweaking the width-narrowing code I devised earlier. Spıke ¬ 12:08 12-Jun-12

Now, this:

	#content { width:auto !important; padding-top: 60px !important; left: 0; }
	#column-content { float:none; width:auto; }

drops the navbar below the content. Looks ugly if/when you scroll down, but at least it's not taking up your eyeball-space up above. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jun 12 '12 12:15 (UTC)

Does not, and doesn't seem as though it would. In conjunction with my other hacks, it does nothing but give me 60px of white space at the top of the page. Spıke ¬ 12:34 12-Jun-12

>_< On my computer, the first one gets rid of an explicit width for #content and gives it an extra 60px so that the logo isn't raping the page-title. The second rule gets rid of the float, and also corrals #column-content to the inside of the window.

Anyway, just *this*

#p-cactions, #p-search, #p-personal, #footer { display: block !important; } /* keep everything but the sidebar */
#column-one > * { display: none; } /* hide the rest */

should hide the navbar, at the very most. Since I don't know what-all hacks you've got, I guess I have no way of knowing how to stretch the main content to fill the window. Hope it works for you, and happy hacking. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jun 12 '12 12:47 (UTC)

Almost got it. The only nagging problems are the excess space below the top row of buttons, and the fact that some command somewhere is producing a page width greater than 1024px. Spıke ¬ 14:12 12-Jun-12

My best guess is that the spotlight-ad display at the bottom of the page is making the page content too wide. If you haven't hidden them already, try this: #spotlight_container { display:none }. Otherwise, I have no clue. As for the space between the content and the edit/history/talk bar, that could only be one or two things: there is a pad or a margin at the top of one of the content <div>. You might try #content { padding-top: 0 !important; margin-top: 0 !important; }. Hope that helps. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 13 '12 6:22 (UTC)

No, it was something I did; fixed, then unfixed as I tried to break out Uncyclopedia from Wikipedia, then fixed again. I tried some of those tweaks on content before. It's working now, though 0 is not enough. Thanks for the tip. Spıke ¬ 09:59 13-Jun-12

Sonia Gandhi

I just did the article on Sonia Gandhi. Kindly let me know, if you can, where I have made mistakes? And how the articles can be improved? I am new contributor. Singzulu (talk) 17:41, June 14, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks. I just did an edit on Manmohan Singh, moving one photo to be the initial photo, as is usual here. I changed "is thought to have" to "has" because if it were merely speculation, you would not have the details that follow. In other words, those were "noise words." Also fixed up some grammar. I do not know their language and don't understand how Singha Singh is funny.

In general, the article is okay, but not long enough. Someone will eventually put a tag on it asking for it to be "finished." Spıke ¬ 17:50 14-Jun-12

I've taken a look at Sonia Gandhi. Same sort of things, and some of the same jokes. Sections need to be longer, and the article needs to be longer. Take more things from their biographies and write them in a twisted way, not always as though you hate them, sometimes just as though you enjoy writing odd things. Be aware that most people who read these two articles (like me) will know nearly nothing about the truth behind them. Take a look at Mohandas Gandhi or my latest article, Kerala. Spıke ¬ 18:01 14-Jun-12

How do I do that? I mean, asking an administrator to restore a deleted page? Singzulu (talk) 07:44, June 24, 2012 (UTC)

I've made the request at User talk:Romartus#Sonia Gandhi, as he enforced the {{ICU}} clock.

Schoolcruft crusade

All pages that use Infobox University:

• Clown Enema University
• Bumblefuck University -- to VFD 17-Jun, kept
• Electoral College -- Good
• Queen's University
• Skidmore College
• Caltech
• Cornell University
• University of Pennsylvania
• University of Oulu -- to VFD 17-Jun, kept
• Claremont Colleges -- to VFD 25-Jun, deleted
• Rutgers University
• State University of New York at Plattsburgh -- to VFD 25-Jun, kept
• Failure University -- Keep: FA by Todd Lyons with audio
• Norwegian University of Science and Technology
• Texas A&M University
• Baylor University
• Old Dominion University
• University College London
• Melbourne University
• Dew Chun Educational Foundation -- to VFD 17-Jun, kept
• California State University
• University of Leeds
• Harvard University
• United States Air Force Academy
• Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
• The University of Chicago
• Monash University -- Repaired
• VJTI -- Repaired
• University of South Carolina
• Oregon State University
• William & Mary -- Good
• University of Florida
• Glasgow Caledonian University
• University of North Texas -- Good
• Polytechnic University of Bucharest
• Longwood University
• American University in Cairo
• Essex High School -- to VFD 17-Jun, huffed
• University of North Florida
• Bucknell University -- to VFD 23-Jun, kept
• North Carolina State University
• University of Antarctica -- Good
• University of Utah
• Virginia Military Institute
• Toccoa Falls College -- Good
• London School of Economics
• Florida State University

Those out-of-control regional navboxes

Yep, there's another one. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jun 24 '12 11:52 (UTC)

Yup. Either would be fine. Both is ugly. I would have deleted one or the other, but what we need is something the Countries of the World have termed a "Final Solution." Spıke ¬ 14:31 24-Jun-12

PS--I know my pop music, Mister, and he did say "pompitrice." Spıke ¬ 14:39 24-Jun-12

I have a couple of articles I want to fire at the wiki over the next week or month or so, but when I'm done, if they aren't deleted outright, I'll take a spin at them navboxes. If they are deleted outright, I'll be off sulking in the mountains.

Oh, by the way, me and my huge headphones ain't buyin' it. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jun 25 '12 10:53 (UTC)

William Lane Craig

Excuse me good sir. But why did you undo my edits to my William Craig article? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Axlman5 (talk • contribs)

I saw in RecentChanges the one where you changed "my dirty vag" to "my smell [sic] vag." I decided this was not enough better to warrant going in and correcting it, and instead used my magic Rollback button, which undid many other changes I had not seen. The rest of them are mostly different rather than better, but I don't mind them. You may undo my change, though the whole article is ranty and slutty and I hope you will go on to improve its tone rather than just delight in a website where you can use swears. Articles should be good for the reader and not just a naughty pleasure for the writer. Thank you for asking and not just reverting. Spıke ¬ 21:40 25-Jun-12

I don't know if this how I'm supposed to respond to your response, but I can't figure out any other way lol.

I appreciate the criticism. I'll see if I can improve on the article, with your critiques in mind. However, I just want to say a few things:

I think there was significantly more to the article than me "delighting in " naughty language. However, I guess there was a lot of sexual jokes, and maybe I can change some of them. I did think to myself that the sexual jokes were kind of cheap, but it is kind of funny considering who Craig is and how his responses are still consistent what he actually says in real life. As for the ranty nature, that's kinda my style, but I don't think the rants are so unfocused to render the article unpleasant to read.

Most of the edits I made were for spelling and grammatical changes, so that's why they weren't "better". The only reason the "smelly vagina" one was made was because that made it consistent with Craig's response.

Anyway, thanks for the response. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Axlman5 (talk • contribs)

Yes, typing here is the usual way to reply, as I prefer that the conversation all be in one place. You could have posted something on User talk:Axlman5 but I am not "watching" you at the moment. I have been visiting Special:RecentChanges the last few days, where I see everything, but normally I would not know that a response there was addressed to me.

Separately, you need to sign your posts. Just type ~~~~ at the end of your message and it will be converted into a signature and a timestamp.

Let me retract the assertion that you were "delighting in" anything, and simply encourage you to go beyond making contributions in the character of the article, but also strive to improve it. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 01:59 26-Jun-12

Is my new sig annoying?

Tell me, SPIKE, does mousing over my signature bug you? -- Sir CuteBruceWillisOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0)] 03:12, June 27, 2012 (UTC)

Everything you do here to call attention to yourself (and that is everything you do here) bugs me. Spıke ¬ 12:46 28-Jun-12

You'll have to excuse Spike, Q. He's on his period this week. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Jun 28 '12 13:23 (UTC)

Well, I'm feeling PMSy but my penis hides it very well. I hope. -- Sir CuteBruceWillisOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0)] 13:25, June 28, 2012 (UTC)

Sorting VFD noms

Hey, Spike. Should we start sorting VFD nominations in order of number of delete votes, where the highest scores are at the bottom? This would make it easier to find articles that the community generally wants huffed or wants kept. --QZEKЯOM Proud sponsor of Team Zombiebaron Tw$*ty Tw%#ve G*me$ FTW! Let's go for the g^@d! 01:20, July 9, 2012 (UTC)

Are you for real? mAttlobster. (hello) 21:30, July 10, 2012 (UTC)

The answer to this one before you can even say anything else is "No," because of exactly what Matt just said except maybe with 3 or more "fuckings" in it. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 22:57, July 10, 2012 (UTC)

I'll see your three "fuckings" and raise you a "goddamned", which I find to have a more satisfying heft these days. "Fuck" is an underfed, whipped orphan of a livery horse, with legs like hickory pegs, dragging an empty carriage behind. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jul 11 '12 15:51 (UTC)

I completely concur with everything SPIKE has said on this subject. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 09:27 15 Jul

Unified template for nations of the world

I think I've found our {{Template template}} for nations of the world. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jul 3 '12 4:24 (UTC)

That's what I was talking about. Now, are you saying it's on me to populate it? Spıke ¬ 22:13 3-Jul-12

Oh no. I figured it would be a collaborative thing. We can start with any of the sandboxes in my userspace, but I have to clear one out, first. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jul 4 '12 1:26 (UTC)

Well, tell me where you put it and I'll visit. Now, the templates for North America, Central and South America, etc., should correspond to these bars, but it would be nice if the relevant bar to any article would default to the show state. Then we wouldn't need a ponderous template listing every real country for which Uncyclopedia has an article. Spıke ¬ 15:27 4-Jul-12

Yeah, that was the idea from the beginning, right? Only show the section that corresponds to the page it's on?

Anyway, do I need to import this? Because we either need it, or something like it. Its code is needlessly complex for our purposes here, but might be useful for other shit later on. If I do import it, I gotta rip the shit out of it which we don't need and will never need; if I don't import it, I gotta come up with something from scratch. Your call. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Jul 5 '12 5:48 (UTC)

You could import that, by cut-and-pasting. I guess. -- Sir CuteBruceWillisOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0)] 16:13, July 5, 2012 (UTC)

BB: Yes, that was the idea from the beginning. Dunno whether to believe the documentation on {{Navbox}} that it is used on a googol plex Uncyclopedia pages, but using existing code is attractive from the standpoint of not repeating work, making the appearance to the user more uniform, and making machine-based navigation more expedient. Qzekrom: Yes, in no case was I going to re-type everything. PS: Local internet is very spotty this week; I am at a public library at the moment and will be relatively inactive for a while except when at certain ballparks. Spıke ¬ 17:17 5-Jul-12

Oh, Wikipedia. There is no urgent need to copy Wikipedia's code if you've got something that works--nor spend days trying to figure out why the documentation of it is flaky--unless doing so is "a good thing" under the criteria I mention above. Spıke ¬ 17:20 5-Jul-12

I had a working equivalent of Template:Navbox at {{NavBox1}} and I've moved it to {{Navbox}} just now. I hadn't yet noticed the template that was previously there was deleted. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:24, 11 July 2012

Sorry to hear about your Internet troubles. Anyway, we have a deprecated NavFrame CSS class + Javascript here. Unfortunately, it has been styled for the unsignpost, which it is used primarily for. Also it is deprecated. We do not have the JS which is required to make the wikipedia navbox work, and looking at the code they use, I can see that it does not even follow the MediaWiki guidelines for best-practices. >_< I'm working on my own, it's mostly done, now all I have to do is convince an admin to import it into the main site script....blah blah blah, it'll be ready to go probably within the week.

In the meantime, feel free to have a look at User:Bizzeebeever/Template. The script isn't working yet, the boxes have not been styled properly, and the formatting is just a rough draft, but...it's a start. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jul 6 '12 12:33 (UTC)

Mostly finished

The final version is going to consist of the current country navboxes all transcluded into this one (after I fix them up, of course). If you've got any ideas for a color scheme, that would be appreciated; should I just go with the boring default wikipedia look? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jul 15 '12 7:53 (UTC)

/me knocks on door, puts ear up to it, peeks into crack in blinds, looks in the fake rock and under the ceramic frog. "Hello? I know you're in there...I can see you!" ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jul 17 '12 9:17 (UTC)

Sorry for the silence--I am still off-line except at the ballpark or parked outside the public library, and my car is not air conditioned, nor is the ballpark. Your template is awesome and exactly solves the problem. I have no opinion on color schemes. Is there a way for the existing continent templates to transclude to this one with the respective continent expanded by default and the other ones hidden? Spıke ¬ 14:05 17-Jul-12

Probably would be a good idea.

On a separate note: I just realized that I left off the entirety of Asia (and Asia is sooo easy to forget, lol I mean liek nobody lives there rite roflbananas). Seeing the template with javascript turned off on my computer (as it usually is), I have to say that is one ridiculously long and ugly template -- even longer and uglier than having a continent navbox AND the {{World Countries}} navbox. So I'm thinking I'll make it so that the appropriate continent is expanded, and then all the other countries are listed in groups, rather than separate navboxes. I'm working on that right now. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jul 20 '12 14:44 (UTC)

User rights and patrol log in watchlist

I haven't been able to replicate this at all. Could you screen shot it for me, and your user preferences relating to your watchlist? I'll try and replicate it as well. (Feel free to edit out the RSS key). Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:09 30 Jul

Thanks for the effort; both logs are in my Watchlist as of 25-Jul, but are not on subsequent days, even though there are more recent records in both logs. Problem evidently solved. Spıke ¬ 12:23 30-Jul-12

Cool. I'll nix it from my list. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:29 30 Jul

Walt Disney on VFD

Regarding this comment: Maybe. The impetus behind it was to try and tackle the objection in a civil manner. He/She had been advised previously to add it to VFD, so I figured rather than just remove it - which was my first move - but to add it back and give a rationale behind why it wasn't a relevant VFD nomination. Of course, for my actions I was called an idiot in a grammatically jarring manner, and STUPIDO. Which then lead me to just add him/her to UN:BP. I was working on the assume good grace mentality. I make that mistake fairly often, but I always err on the side of civility where possible. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 02:35 31 Jul

I like to assume that everybody else is simultaneously a dick and an asshole, and throw doodies at them outright. It seems to get the job done sooner. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jul 31 '12 8:05 (UTC)

And sadly, you're often accurate. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:28 31 Jul

To provide background, Puppy submitted a nomination of Walt Disney to VFD on behalf of waltdisneyfan999, and I commented, in voting Keep, that "Sometimes an invalid nomination does not beg to be made valid." I commend you on assuming good faith in your dealings with every new user. Nevertheless, not all whims of all new users deserve syntactic correction. The gist of 999's vulgar nomination was that he reveres Walt Disney and that Uncyclopedia should be damned for daring to ridicule him. Separately, a large majority of users voted with you and with me that the article is not deleteworthy. I was not saying that your impulses were incorrect or dishonorable, and am not responsible for the names you got called afterward. I was saying that this particular nomination (the operative word being "Sometimes") ought not to have been made. Spıke ¬ 18:12 31-Jul-12

Quebec City

I appreciate your tweaks, but I have a hard time figuring out why the article was shrunk by 700 bytes or something. Did you delete some sentences? It doesn't seem so, but it's hard to tell when looking at the difference. BTW, I tweaked an unfunny racist joke to a non racist, hopefully funny one and will try to find a good opening pic if I have time (and the mental energy) tonight. 22:35, August 2, 2012 (UTC)

I would not go into someone else's article, delete material outright, and bill the work as a "copy edit." But I reduced verbosity throughout, and a 700-byte total sounds reasonable to me. PS--Although the Search function has been vastly improved, the Diff function still has profound difficulty noticing that paragraphs in two drafts are almost identical. Spıke ¬ 14:04 3-Aug-12

I reread it today with my friends and had a great laugh. Thank you for the additions/tweaks, I think I should propose that we consider this a collab, or else I'd be rude. What say you? Mattsnow 22:01, August 28, 2012 (UTC)

Magnanimous and nice for you to give me credit for helping out. But this is certainly not a collaboration but a substantial copy edit of your material. I don't deserve half a point if it gets featured. Compare Quebec, which is now quite different from the featured edition. Spıke ¬ 16:03 29-Aug-12

I agree that it changed drastically and is a no-brainer for a feature, as it certainly does since it is a lot better than the original thanks to you. (And the original was 14-0 I think) However, I'm quite sure it would set a "precedent". I'm ALL FOR it 100% and you would get that freaking point in the Hall of Shame, which I don't care about anymore and it seems you don't either, great for you. I'm just waiting to see you ask an admin about it, I would support you since it is an extensive change you made, but I don't want it to become the norm. Mattsnow 05:18, September 6, 2012 (UTC)

Hanuman

Thank you :) for your contribution to Hanuman! I appreciate that! You made the article so much more fun to read, the images are especially funny!

Thank you!

(BT I am reading more articles on Uncyclopedia so that I get the hang of how to be funny. The changes you have made are a big help!)

Singzulu (talk) 18:23, August 30, 2012 (UTC)

Paul Ryan

Hi Spike. I noticed there isn't a faux biography of Paul Ryan as yet. Might be possible to create a placeholder article to fill the space as I am sure there will be some unfunny/abuse attempts made between here and November? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:29, September 1, 2012 (UTC)

Yes, I suppose this falls to me. (I would hate to see the result if I leave it to Aleister.) I noticed the red-link in my recent UnNews (on which I thank you in advance for your VFH vote). I am working on it now. Spıke ¬ 23:29 1-Sep-12

First draft is now done. (A journeyman spork of the Wikipedia article.) Because of the abuse attempts you predict, would you please restrict editing to registered users? Spıke ¬ 00:37 2-Sep-12

OK that's not a bad idea Spike. I will do that. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:25, September 2, 2012 (UTC)

Gave it a read through. Could be a feature but I would wait to see what Ryan does in the next few weeks. Might be able to add more material. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:49, September 2, 2012 (UTC)

Now please delete that talk page you added. While anyone is welcome to edit this article as events unfold, the first draft is not so cursory as to merit your invitation for its complete replacement. Spıke ¬ 13:49 2-Sep-12

Struck through which cancels the comment. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:39, September 2, 2012 (UTC)

Very well, thanks. Though you asked for a "placeholder," the article is somewhat more, though I agree not feature-worthy. My follow-on edit moved one paragraph to a final section on the 2012 Presidential campaign to which people can add stuff as events occur. Spıke ¬ 22:04 2-Sep-12

UnNews:Riots spread across Arabia protesting American cinema‎

[Up with you, man!] Thank you, Mr. Spike, for expertly demonstrating that UnNews' only bias is satire. Excellent work. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 00:31, September 15, 2012 (UTC)

And thank you, Chief, for running it Above the Fold. There has been so much news and commentary, from so many different angles, half of it begging for satire. The F-Troop-style defense of the diplomatic fort lends itself to some vintage Pollyanna reporting (actual bullets for their guns, some day?). It's mostly a ridicule of the Democratic administration, so I managed to work in Romney and even Todd Akin.

In contrast, the best other direction to take this was the double standard between the criticism-ends-at-the-water's-edge view of Romney's remarks and the rhetoric of those same critics when they were Speaking Truth to Bush. Limbaugh and Boston's Howie Carr made sport of this, with file audio, but as I wrote in Forum:Political advocacy, again, I could do nothing with this theme without making it seem as though it could have come from Limbaugh himself. The reader can't laugh when you make him wonder which side you are trying to sell him. Spıke ¬ 09:45 15-Sep-12

UnNews:Romney campaign struggles to recover from "gaffe-filled" luncheon

On the subject of the reader wondering which side one is trying to sell the reader, the only thing we are selling is satire. I know you are just referring to within the context of a single story - the story ought to skewer from a consistent angle - and generally I agree. At least the degree of difficulty is much higher if you are trying to skewer from opposing sides within a single piece, though I don't think it's utterly impossible. But, as I have just affected on the lead articles template, I love the opposing sides next to each other there like that. As I indicated, I think it strengthens our overall presentation - that our bias is satire only - with you here skewering so well from a right-leaning side and the rest of us obamazombies (you know, the smart ones) from the left-leaning. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 16:14, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Point/counterpoint is a technique that I often used on the Front Page. But you must make clear what you are doing by putting them side-by-side, regardless of relative quality or time already spent on the page. While I do come from the (libertarian) right--and am fed up of listening to endless media analysis about whether Romney is an ogre to admit that welfare recipients won't vote for him--this new UnNews of mine is not defending Romney but ridiculing the press. I was moved to write it after reading your UnNews:Mitt Romney struggling to find more elegant ways to say he is a pandering, mendacious ass. Good of you to make the bias such a caricature that the reader won't view it as advocacy, but bad of you to make it look so little like an actual news story. Spıke ¬ 16:26 19-Sep-12

Obviously I am not as married to the "looks like actual news" principle as you are, though I do like the approach. But I don't think we need to use it to the exclusion of other approaches. Funny is funny, and satire can come from many equally effective methods. To exclude UnNews to this "must look like actual news" principle, I feel, is too limiting. Not that we need to copy The Onion, but just by way of supporting example, they are well-known for not adhering to the "looks like real news" concept. They often use the exact format I used in that article - in fact, I was thinking Onion when I wrote it to be honest. They often use outlandish, charged phrases as though they were fact, the way I tried to here. It brings a point home very effectively I think. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 16:36, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

You're the Chief. But do put them side-by-side, please. Spıke ¬ 16:39 19-Sep-12

You're right, side-by-side will be much better. I just put them where they are to replace the most stale stories, but it sure looks like I was favoring mine that way, doesn't it? Obviously compensating for my low self-image... -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 16:52, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

I didn't think you were favoring yours, and don't mind that you do. You should probably put mine "on the right," even though that continues the impression. Spıke ¬ 16:57 19-Sep-12

Podcast

On the topic of UnNews, who was running the UnNews podcast, and why did it die back in March? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:01 15 Sep

Zimulator used to; over a year ago, he tweaked it to make it work right again, apparently assuming that files were named according to rule. I noted that my old stuff was making it onto the podcast but never actually used it to retrieve anything. Spıke ¬ 16:51 15-Sep-12

You gonna mess with me, boy?

You finna gonna get thrown down, acting all uppity with the horrendous vandalism and whatnot. THROWN DOWN. The Priest King WeinribŽ of Jupiter 16:06, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Vandalism? If you are a fan of Anubis, simply read the article. Spıke ¬ 16:18 19-Sep-12

Er, I was joking. I had the assumption you also were joking. Excuse my mistake. The Priest King WeinribŽ of Jupiter 16:22, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Was neither joking nor vandalizing; just linking to an article you might like. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 16:28 19-Sep-12

Sorry, not used to things being taken seriously on Uncyc. This is new. I will definitely take a gander at it. The Priest King WeinribŽ of Jupiter 16:30, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Vanity Wall

How many articles have you had main page featured Spike? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:18, October 1, 2012 (UTC)

Counting the uses of my {FA} template on my user page, ten. Subtract 1/2 for partial credit for Minor League Baseball and discount Kurdish Military Industries, which I never took credit for. The recent UnNews, my first, would make 9.5. Am I hogging things? If not, the current slough would be an opportune time to nominate our completely ignored Hmor. Spıke ¬ 10:11 1-Oct-12

Hmor. Yes. Good idea. I will stick it on the VFH roster and see what happens. That total of 9.5, that would take you up the table. You know where to go? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:59, October 3, 2012 (UTC)