User talk:Rooney723

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

edit Welcome!

Hello, Rooney723, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for registering an account. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example,User:Rooney723/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.

OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.

Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.

  • Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight by administrators.
  • If you want to create an article, and you wanted to call it Bleurgh, to create it in your user space you would just make the address bar look like this: www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/User:(Your user-name here)/Bleurgh. Please don't create it on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
  • Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. Honestly, it works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
  • Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.

Again, welcome!  ChiefjusticeDS 13:53, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit manchester united fc

edit Manchester United F.C

Manchester united logo

edit History

3333
The Great Mr Mahai (马海)
Manchester united logo
The current Official Manchester United Fucker's Club Logo , note the devil's long and huge penis.


Manchester United Fucker's Club or Man Utd F.C for short is a fucker's football club at a city called manchester in United Kingdom. Manchester united. It was created in the 1800's by someone from china. Its a very long story, very long time ago, in the 19th century . as there are many chinese from china who are migrating out of china due to the ongoing civil war in china and the opium (all the british fault la) that causes many chinese to be lazy and become retarded and lazy to work and finally have famine in china. As a result many chineses escape and went to other country hoping to find a better life . So in 1875 a chinese in his mid thirties , named Ma Hai (马海) , went to England to get a better life. Mahai finally arrived in england . And he started a business selling milk and oil , and after many years his business is so successful and he have a very big shop and earn a lot of money.

He employed many 'ghost people' ,鬼老, to help him out in his business. he treated his workers very 'well' and use to shout ma chau hai (妈臭阴道) which means your mother's smelly vagina in chinese, when his workers make mistakes. He told his worker that machauhai means 'good job', and his workers stupidly believe it as they dont know chinese. they think that Mr Ma Hai is praising them by shouting ' good job ' .



edit Machauhaister United

In the year 1880 the football league is launched and many companies are encouraged to form a football team to join the league . So Mr Ma Hai's company was invited to join. And the workers formed a team , they dont know what to name the team. And suddenly a guy suggested to name it 'machauhaister united' since Mr Mahai always praise them 'machauhai' which means 'goodjobster united' but in reality it means 'your mother's smelly vagina'ster united'. Mr Mahai just kept quiet without telling them the true meaning of machauhai, due to his grudge angainst the british for the opium war that destroyed china and the chinese.



edit Manchester United F.C

After many years in britain , Mr Ma Hai decided to return to china as he miss his home too much. Before he left he decided to change the name of the team to a better name as he felt guitly about the team's name. so he decided to name the team '慢菜师特 油奶特', which means , '慢' means slow as a pig, '菜' means as taufu as vegetable, '师特' which means special Mr Mahai, and '油奶特' , which means special oil and milk , the product that Mr Mahai is selling.

In chinese it is read as ' Man Chai Shi Te You Nai Te' , which translated into english as 'Manchester United'. and therefore the born of Manchester United F.C!



edit Later Years

As Mr Mahai went back to china , the Mahai company was left without a boss. A guai lo took over and transformed the team into a professional team and won many honours and became very famous throughout england. But later mr Mahai found out that the team was doing very well , he was very jealous and he is still angry at the british for the opium war and the british took over his hometown , Long Kang, a small island off china .

So he decided to cast a spell on the team and the british as an act of revenge, he hired a shaman and casted a 'great' spell on the team and british. As a result , the busby babes , a team travelling to Munich in the 1900's died in an accident plane crash and the whole manchester united team died and gone . Manchester United became very lousy after that , as all their best players died in the plane crash. It is said that Mr Mahai summoned the monkey king Sun Wu Kong '孙悟空' to break the plane apart using his 'Discostick'

Mr Mahai finally died in 1960 in Long Kang aged 110 , before he died he removed the spell he casted on the manchester united team as he feel guilty cursing the team he formed during his days in britain and he also caused the death of many people. He use his last breath to shout 'MACHAUHAI'S , GOODBYE!!' , referring to the workers he use to call machauhais and the workers of the Mr Mahai Private Limited Company

As a result the spell was removed and manchester united fc becamed a very good club.


edit 1960 onwards

After the death of Mr Ma Hai , the manchester united fc's fortune changed rapidly as the spell is broken . Manchester United started to win many titles and became a famous. Manchester united won the old first division in the 1980's and many great player played for manchester united, such as George Bullshit, Mark Fuckhes, Steve Boobs , Sir Boob-y Cock-ton, and many more.



edit 1970's

During the 1970's, the manchester united team became very lousy as they are unable to replace the busby babes and the retirement of the great George Bullshit and other players. As a result , manchester united fc was relegated to the second division . But suddenly they became very good and immediately promoted to the first division , thanks to a young player from the manchester united's academy that broke into the first team and helped the team to win promotion. Steve Cock-tail , a 20 year old teenager rose into the ranks to help manchester united promoted and become a very good team again.



edit 1986 onwards

In 1986 , manchester united hired scottish manager , Sir Alex Fucker-son to replace Ron Atkinson to be the manager of manchester united. Sir Alex Fucker-son is a very good manager and had helped his old club Aberdeen to win many titles including the old European Cup Winners Cup in 1985 when Aberdeen FC Trashed Real Madrid 10-0 to win the European Cup. But since Fucker-son came , many problems occured in manchester united as he had created many trouble due to his horniness . He had transformed Manchester United Football Club into Manchester United Fucker's Club . Due to his hobby in fucking manchester united players assholes all the time.




edit Sir Alex Fucker-son

File:Tttt.jpg
Alex Fucker-Son (left) fucks his neighbour during his younger days
Nerd Specs 3036
Fucker-Son during his secondary years (before he was gang-banged)
SirAlexFerguson 783277
The current Fucker-son , looks extremely horny.
File:Penis anatomy.jpg
Fucker-son's very huge penis, its 30 cm long and said to be as hard as steel.

Alex Fucker-son , the current manager of manchester united fc , was born at the city of Glasgow, the capital of Scotland in 1941. Fucker-son was born a gay and had since young showed interest in his guy classmates. During his secondary years , he was gang-raped anally by at least 10 gays at the gym near his house when he went there to work out. Poor Fucker-son can only scream in pain as his asshole was filled with dicks as long as 20cm and 7cm thick in diameter. They fucked Fucker-son so hard that at one point 3 dicks was inserted into Fucker-sons asshole and causes permanent asshole damage to Fucker-sons asshole. Fucker-sons asshole was ruptured and he screams in pain. It needed few years to recover slightly and until today he had not recovered fully. As a result , since the day he was anally gang-raped, he sweared he will take revenge and will fuck as many guys assholes as he can in his lifetime.

At aberdeen fc, fucker-son had anally fucked almost all the players by threatening them and blackmailing the players. after many years , he felt bored with the aberdeen players and wanted to try something new, and he heard that englishmens are more fun to fuck than scottish's as the english has smaller assholes and thus gives more feeling and the 'ummphh'

So Fucker-son decided to apply a job at england and finally he succeded and he became the manager of manchester united fucker's club. And so his evil plan to fuck all the manchester united players begins.

He would drug manchester united players and bring them into his mansion where he will fuck them . And he will record it and use it to threaten the players not to tell anyone. His mansion was very big and it had all kind of BDSM tools used to torture 'slaves' . and as much as 20 BDSM chambers and 20 private rooms equipped with the latest fucking machines and dildos and high tech electro-shock vibrators. Alex Fucker-son even have a collection of more than 1 million gay porn videos in his dvd and blu-ray room . He had also recorded all of his anal rapes and store it in his hard disk. He plans to make a full collection of his rapes to show his achievement. Currently he had more than 10000000++ and still counting anal rape videos in his collection.

Below are a small fraction of the person he had anally fucked, as the list was too long and would take forever to show it out. So below are some of the 'Celebrities Rape' , consist of the biggest and most famous players that anally fucked by Fucker-son.



edit Victims Of Fucker-son

- David BlowJob'em ( Fucker-sons all time favourite , currently fucked at least 1000000 times)


- Cristiano Retarded Damn Small Asshole ( 4000 times)


- Ben Fucker ( 500 times)


- Edwin Cunt-Damn-Small ( 198798 times)


- John O'Shit ( 9999 times)


- Antonio Vagina ( newcomer, 100 times)


- Michael Ovum ( newcomer, 50 times)


- Paul Crotch ( 100000 times)


- Dildo-Tar BerBastard ( 1000 times)


- Nanny ( 5555 times)


- Orgasm Hargreaves ( 7777 times)


- Park G-String ( Fucker-son's slave, 1500000+++ times)


- Nemanja Vibrator ( 66666 times)


- Penis Evra ( 353453 times)


- Ander-Slut ( 8888 times)


- Ryan Gigolo ( 787687 times)


- Make-Love Carrick ( 5765 times)


- Rafael Da Slave ( 67554 times)


- Fabio Da Slave ( 555 times)


- Darron Gigolo's-son ( 34535 times)


- Wayne Rape-Me ( 35873 times)


- Darren FeiHai-er ( 786546 times)


- Federico Machauhai ( 5765 times)


- Rude And MrRojak ( 65876 times)


- Rio Ferd-Incest ( 58345 times)


- Eric Cunt-tona ( 43578934 times)

edit "Horny Horny Man United" , Theme song of Manchester United Fucker's Club

Manchester United Fucker's Club theme song was formerly " Glory Glory Man United " and after Fucker-son took over, he changed the song himself and made a 'horny' version of the famous " Glory Glory Man United " theme song .

The current theme song of Manchester United Fucker's Club , " Horny Horny Man United " was created by none other than Fucker-son himself . This song had topped the UK Billboard Top 10 Charts since it was released in 2008 , and became No.1 for more than 6 months . Its now currently 3rd in the UK Charts and still very very famous among the fans . It was also voted as the Horniest and Sickest song of 2008 and won the World Horny Music Award for Best Single and Best Male Artist. The song was sung by Fucker-son himself .

Below are the lyrics of the Horniest Song Of 2008-


- HORNY HORNY MAN UNITED - x3

- as the reds go FUCKING on on on-

- We are the best fuckers in the world-

- we will fuck any guy we can find-

- No matter handsome ,ugly, fat or thin

- Fuck them hard in their ass till they scream in pain-

- United! A Fucker’s club!-

- we are a fucking bunch of horny sick bastards that love to fuck anyone-

- fucker’s club , fucker’s club-

- We are the famous fucker’s club and we are going to fuck you hard-

- Fucker-son , Fucker-son , he’s the horniest manager and he love to anal fuck our players-

- If you want to get fucked hard in your ass, you can come to us and we’ll help you out-

- It is free of charge and we will fuck you hard, you will be screaming in pain all the time-

- UNITED !! THE HORNIEST CLUB!!!

- HORNY HORNY MAN UNITED , HORNY HORNY MAN UNITED , HORNY HORNY MAN UNITED !!!!!!

- AS THE REDS GO FUCKING ON ON ON !!!!!!!!!!

edit Finance

Manchester United Fucker's Club was ranked as the richest football club in the world , for many many years. The club is very very rich and keeps on earning money each year. Their annual earning are said to be in excess of 400 million U$D .

Yearly earning since 1985:

- 1885 , 10 USD

- 1895 , 20 USD

- 1915 , 30 USD

- 1945 , 1000 USD

- 1965 , 2000 USD

- 1975 , 3000 USD

- 1980 , 10000 USD

- 1985 , 12000 USD

- 1986 , 100000 USD ( Fucker-son arrived)

- 1990 , 1000000 USD

- 1993 , 10000000 USD

- 1998 , 50000000 USD ( Blowjob'em fucked for the first time

- 2003 , 90000000 USD ( Christian-Old Retarded arrived)

- 2006 , 200000000 USD

- 2008 , 400000000 USD



As you can see at the above data, the manchester united's earning increased rapidly since Fucker-son arrived at manchester united fuckers club. A ten fold increase in the year 1985 to 1986 . WOW!!



The club was said to earn 400 million USD in 2008, and since fucker-son arrived , the earning kept on increasing and manchester united was so fucking rich that they can hire all the gigolo's in the whole world for 1 whole year!! Many fans didnt believe that manchester united fuckers club can earn that much money , and many financial analyst also feel suspectible towards the financial status of the team. How can a team with a rubbish dump stadium where the attendance in each match is 0 and the club was so not famous and lousy and the manager keeps on fucking the players and lost the UEFA Champion league in 2008 and only can win the Barclays Premier Amateur League, and doesnt have much fans in the USA (where basketball , american football are much more famous than soccer) can earn that much money.



As a result , many detectives are hired to investigate the problem. Initially Manchester United was suspected to commit fraud and money laundering and drug trafficking . But that all turned out to be nonsense due to lack of evidence. After many many years, no one was still able to figure out how manchester united fuckers club earn their money, and manchester united refused to reveal , saying its corporate secret .



And in 2006, an unnamed source finally revealed the secret behind the manchester united money saga, the source is said to kidnapped several current and former manchester united players to reveal the secret. Including Blowjob'em , Penis Evra, Ryan Gigolo and many more.



And the secret was finally revealed! Manchester United earned their money through a very legal way , and the authorities were unable to stop it. Manchester United earn their money thru legal gay porn selling. Yes, they sell porn videos, and all thanks to Alex Fucker-son who never miss the chance to record his intimate moments with the manchester united players. He had recorded all the moments and stored it into his hard drive and now have more than 1000000000000+++ videos . Manchester United later suffers from serious financial breakdown when Fucker-Son took over, so the board of directors begged Fucker-son to help the club .



So Fucker-son got the genius idea to earn money thru his porn videos that he had recorded by selling them . And those videos sold like hot cakes until fucker-son's private server broke down millions of times due to the overhelming demand from gays all around the world, his list of customers includes womans, guys , shemales, aliens , sun wu kong , Pig-Eight ( 猪八戒) and many government officials such as Barack Orgasma , George Bullsh't , Najis Tong Rosak , Lee Cunt Yew and many more.



The hottest selling title is the videos of David Blowjob'em , titled ' My Unforgettable Night With Fucker-son' , ' Blowjob'em , The Slave Of Fucker-son ' and many more. Each title was sold for 1000 USD and only available thru E-Bay or Amazon or private server downloading. This also explain why Blowjob'em can be the richest footballer in the world while he is a terribly fucking lousy player who cant run fast, cant dribble , cant do anything except kicking the ball to let it swerve into the shape of a PENIS to show off how long and nice his penis is.





edit Supporters

Manchester United Fucker’s Club have many supporters all around the world , and ask anyone on the street. 70% will support Manchester United , Manchester United’s fans comes from many different countries. And made up of many different races and skin colour , from the Arabians in the middle easts , Chinese in China ( all thanks to Mr Mahai , as the Chinese proudly says that Manchester United was created by them ) , the Koreans in South Korea ( who idolizes Mr Park G-String as the sex slave of Fucker-son) , the negro’s in the whole Africa ( Mr Penis Evra’s hometown ) , and many many more . Sources estimates that theres Manchester united fans in every country in the whole wide world! WOW!!


Sources also revealed that more than 50% of the Manchester United fans actually don’t support the club , they are only supporting the horniness of the Manchester United Fucker’s Club . So instead of watching the weekly EPL matches , the fans are actually watching the porn videos of Fucker-son fucking his players. This shows how important Fucker-son is to the Fucker’s Club , without his horniness and his genius ideas , Manchester United will today be a super duper SHIT club .

It is estimated that more than 90% of the Manchester united fans have purchased at least one video of the Fucker-son anal fucking videos . Supplying Manchester United Fucker’s Club with an annual income of 400++ million USD.





edit Famous Players

Below are the list of some of the best player that ever played for Manchester United Fucker’s Club:



- David BlowJob’em


Huge
Blowjob'em showing off his huge penis.



Born David Fuck-ham BlowJob’em in May 13 1975 , Fuck-ham or BlowJob’em as he is widely known , liked football since very young . But the main problem is that he cant really play , he is as slow as a snail , cannot dribble past even the noobiest player and the only skill he is good at is to shoot the ball like the shape of a Penis . It is said that everytime before he kicks the ball from a freekick , he will scratch his dick so that he will get the power and aura of the penis that the ball will swerve like a penis . It is also widely rumoured that when he shoots the ball , his penis will exert an invisible force towards the ball and make the ball swerve . Just like the wind blowing an object . Blowjob’em was scouted by none other than Mr Alex Fucker-son , Fucker-son was said to fell in love in Blowjob’em the first time he saw blowjob’em . And quickly offered blowjob’em the chance to join Manchester United even though blowjob’em was clearly a very lousy player . Fucker-son just cant wait to fuck Blowjob’em , but as Blowjob’em was still very young at the time , at 15 years and it would be a crime to fuck a small kid .



So Fucker-son decided to wait for another 2 more years so that he can legally fuck Blowjob’em . Poor Blowjob’em stupidly believe that Fucker-son wanted him for his football skills , and didn’t know that he fell into Fucker-son’s evil trap . On 13 May 1992 , when David Blowjob’em was legally 17 years and it is legal to fuck him . Fucker-son drugged him on the night of 13 May 1992 , Fucker-son duped Blowjob’em to come to his mansion in the pretext of celebrating his birthday. But when Blowjob’em arrived Fucker-son immediately drugged Blowjob’em and took him to one of Fucker-sons private room and David Blowjob’em’s virginity was gone and Fucker-son fucked him so hard that his screams can be heard 1km away , until the police arrived later due to complaints by neighbours that its too noisy . Fucker-son recorded the process and used it to threaten and blackmail Blowjob’em and told him not to tell anyone and become Fucker-son’s sex slave forever. Poor Blowjob’em can only forcefully agree and he became Fucker-son’s all time favourite slave . Fucker-son repaid Blowjob’em’s service by allowing him to play in the first team of the Manchester United Fucker’s Club



Blowjob’em continued to get fucked by Fucker-son throughout the years . But in 1998 Blowjob’em found his love , Spice Gays singer , Vagina Beckham . And he married her that year and they lived happily ever after .



Even after the marriage , Fucker-son refuses to let Blowjob’em go and continued to fuck Blowjob’em . And finally in 2003 , Blowjob’em cant stand the torture anymore , as his asshole was seriously ruptured as a result of more than 1000000000++ times of anal fucking . So during a match against ARSE-nal , Blowjob’em’s asshole was so pain due to the anal fucking at the dressing room before the match . And blood can be seen flowing out from his asshole , furious , Blowjob’em approached Fucker-son and a heated argument occurs . And in the end Fucker-son kicked a football boots towards Blowjob’em and causes serius cuts on Blowjob’em’s forehead . That marked the end of Blowjob’em days at Manchester United Fucker’s Club and also the end of the sex slavery saga.

edit Park G-String

Park G-String, Born 25 February 1981 in Seoul, South Korea is a south korean player who is currently a midfielder for the Manchester United Fucker's Club since 2005. G-String was born to an extremely poor family in Seoul, since young , G-String possesses extremely good looks and he was said to be chased by up to a dozen 'pretty girls' in his kindergarten and primary schooling years. But he was said to be starving almost everyday as his family was too poor. He confesses that his family had to eat tree barks just to survive. And at the age of 7, his father 'sold' him to a local rich gay fucker who wanted to fuck a small boy so much. As a result, G-String was first anally fucked at the age of 7 and therefore the beginning of his sex saga.

G-String's family was so poor that even after the first anal rape, G-String family was still unable to feed themselves. As a result, G-String's father, Mr Park G-Spot kneeled down and begged little G-String who is just 7 year old at that time to help the family to earn money by working at a nearby gay brothel who Mr G-Spot had known the boss and can easily 'enroll' G-string into the famous brothel. At the virginal age of 7!!

Over the years, G-string had served ten thousands of customers and helped earned

Personal tools
projects