User talk:Romartus

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How disputes are settled here.

edit Page rape

I see you were having fun while I slept! When encountering a vandal like our overnight visitor, the best way is to use Rollback All. This undoes all his edits in a single click. (After reviewing a half dozen of them, it is safe to assume the rest are in character.) It also patrols his edits, and marks your rollbacks and the original edits as 'bot edits so that they cease to appear in Special:RecentChanges under normal settings. I then go up to the URL line and change Contributions to Nuke to deal with newly created pages.

If the vandal visited to get attention, the above method minimizes the attention he will get. It comes as close as you can on a wiki to making it seem as though he were never here at all. Spıke ¬ 12:51 29-Jul-14

Ah that would have been easier but for some reason the vandal had stopped before I got to his edits. I know it is our 'old friend' but since he has an issue about Roman Dog Bird, isn't he on the wrong wiki? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:00, July 29, 2014 (UTC)

edit Main page rape

Hi Romartus! Do you know what the problem with the main page is? There is no featured article in the Today's Feature Article section. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:29, August 5, 2014 (UTC)

Hi Anton. Hmmm. That is odd. I was going to change the page tonight. See what happens then. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:27, August 5, 2014 (UTC)

edit Knights

Sir Crap Alot has been deleted via VFD and I've removed it from the template.

Knights Knights
Knights in White SatinKnights TemplarKnights who say NiTeutonic KnightsRed Hot Pawn
Sir HamsterlotSir LancelotSir SwagsalotSri LankaSean Connery

Cheers to you for working on Sir Lancelot. However, I used to enjoy the fact that this template contained a gaggle of Lancelot knock-offs, whereas Lancelot himself used to be a red-link. Spıke ¬ 18:27 7-Aug-14

edit Mary Tyler Moore Response

I removed the bold text and added categories.


Thank you. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 06:49, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit Wannabe Janitor Joining

Hi, you must be one of the admin, me and my friend (who will be joining soon) want to help clean up the wiki and we were very interested in VFD, but I am banned from editing. What do I do first? There are a lot of votes me and my buddy would like to cast. THUNDERPUNCHERS (talk) 06:47, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

And I am the guy he was talking about. We are a team in this together, I read that you have to wait a number of days. How many exactly? ActualTrash (talk) 07:13, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
l think it is about three days from the creation of an account. Regards articles in the deletion process, all users are encouraged to see if something can be done to improve it first. Deleting an article is the last resort.--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:56, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit Daily Mail

Please patrol/revert/post-edit yesterday's edit to this article. It seems more ranty than funny to me. Spıke ¬ 10:54 12-Aug-14

Ok. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:02, August 12, 2014 (UTC)
I have given it an edit. The additional stuff was ok but the article could do with a bit of reshaping in my view. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:14, August 12, 2014 (UTC)

I am not the one to do that. But I tweaked the article on Coca-Cola, for which I had to look up Lord Coke. He might be worth Uncyclopedia treatment. Spıke ¬ 16:54 12-Aug-14

You do realise that you're talking about two articles that I've worked on previously. Seriously, I turn away for 5 seconds and you just take over everything...
Coke was designed to be more of a take on advertising and its impact on independent writing. There were actually two "versions" of this - one "original" that was pure rhetoric from Killer Cola, and the "sponsored" that was taking everything that was said in the previous article and turning it on it's head. One day I may even get back to working on that.
Speaking of work - I think stuff has been done. Might be worth double checking in case I've missed any.                               Puppy's talk page03:35 pm 14 Aug 2014
Concerning images, there are still all those that have been attacked on the first of April. For the full list, see Colin's last contributions. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:42, August 14, 2014 (UTC)
Pup can check these when he re-emerges later today. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:46, August 14, 2014 (UTC)
Think that got them all.                               Puppy's talk page04:15 am 17 Aug 2014
Thanks Pup :) --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:07, August 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit HowTo:Repair a broken smartphone on VFH

Hi Romartus! Thank you for your vote! However, this article has changed significantly since the opening of the nomination. I'm informing you just in case this might change your vote, but I hope it won't! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:53, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

Since I liked it before, I can't imagine it has become worse - so my vote remains cast in favour. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:47, August 14, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:48, August 14, 2014 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia's Wikia Portal

Could you, please, give a link to Uncyclopedia's entry on the Wikia site? I cannot find it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:43, August 15, 2014 (UTC)

It's not necessarily anywhere yet. If you can find the portals to other wikis and if there is none for Uncyclopedia, that means There Isn't Any. Wikia proposed this and asked the Admins for suggested wording, and we opened the debate up to the users. Spıke ¬ 12:58 15-Aug-14
I think the consensus was it was fine, if a touch too prescriptive. I am sure we could tweak it a tad but otherwise, I am happy for that to go up as our promo page. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:59, August 15, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Scottish campaigners request Australian help

Could you add this to Template:RecentUnNews as Spike's not around (Spike protected it from vandal threat so only admins can add)? Thanks. Please read and edit if you wish as well. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:18, August 17, 2014 (UTC)

I was on holiday yesterday (Massachusetts sales-tax holiday). (A total waste of time; there is nothing aching to be bought that doesn't come with a two-year contract.) And am at the stadium today. Perhaps I don't understand the underlying news, but it begins with idle claims of being "racist and sexist" such as are tossed around every day in serious politics. (Reread CoW#Extremists.) Whether or not you believe these charges, I instantly tightened up and read the rest of it expecting persuasion rather than humor; and found the article mostly a somewhat jaunty expression of your own opinions. (Okay, or else someone else's opinion portrayed as the author's.) Needs work. Spıke ¬ 11:37 17-Aug-14
People have accused him of being sexist and racist and many people over here are confused as why you would get a controversial politician to back your point of view so it is a public held opinion and one questioning the intelligence of the Better Together campaign. The rest is my usual humour, of course with views and opinions but generally attacking everybody involved in the news story and ridiculing an important event as UnNews is supposed to do. I don't see how the article isn't appropriate for UnNews recent template. I would encourage Romartus to check the article out as well and voice his opinion. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:31, August 17, 2014 (UTC)
Installed; but still needs work. You are talking around me; lots of politicians are called racist and sexist (and worse yet, "controversial") by adversaries, and of course I don't want to debate the truth of these charges (and they are not made true by the fact that they are "publicly held" — that is, that someone in the political theater claims to believe them) but why your UnNews starts with polemics rather than comedy. Spıke ¬ 12:41 17-Aug-14
But the comedy is the fact that the Better Together Campaign which is seen to have an easy debate (unlike Salmond who is seen to be dreaming the impossible) calls in the Australian equivalent of George Bush (and yes in the UK and Australia at least he is known as being a pretty dumb guy) to debate for them denting their credibility in the eyes of the public. This isn't just any politician off the street - he has a reputation for it. I'm in no way trying to mock the PM himself. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:50, August 17, 2014 (UTC)
Then would you please re-focus this to emphasize the comedy, and not just add another citation that proves that someone other than you calls him a sexist? I don't care whom you are trying to mock, but it comes off as though you are trying to do something, and not amuse the reader. Spıke ¬ 12:59 17-Aug-14
It does read more like a comment on a news story rather than a news story in its own right. The approach would work in an article about Salmond or the Better Together campaign in my view. I think a rapier is more effective than a sledge hammer. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:29, August 17, 2014 (UTC)
Thank you Romartus. I'll see what I can do. Spike I can ensure you I wasn't trying to do anything but amuse and was asking for advice on how to show that. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:31, August 17, 2014 (UTC)
No problem ScottPat. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:34, August 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ferguson, Missouri

I want to do an UnNews on this too! as I think the funniest part is the spin in the media. Preparing to feature it side-by-side with yours tonight.

Please follow house style in the dateline: only capitalize the first part of the place name, and start the first paragraph on the same line. Spıke ¬ 14:04 18-Aug-14

Ok done. I seem to be 'locked' in a different style of formatting the page. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:10, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit File:Greggs logo.png

On the revert war at this image, I take the side of the newbie. We should supply any "humor" with a caption, not by modifying the corporate logo, because

  1. Authors should not rely on text in images for humor, but should write their own, a guideline I recently added to UN:IMAGE; and
  2. It angers corporations more for us to abuse their trademarks than it amuses anyone. See Fisher-Price. Spıke ¬ 12:23 19-Aug-14
I understand as regards Fisher-Price example. The original joke isn't that good but seemed a bit bland to replace that with the current version of the logo. I changed the Tesco logo for one story to 'Every Little Pony Helps' as a direct parody of their own campaign+the then horsemeat story at the time. I think make jokes about a company logo is fine. I will leave the Greggs one as I wasn't bothered either way. It just seemed odd that a newbie would go for that to change. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:08, August 19, 2014 (UTC)
Out of interest see this external link. I am name checked for the image, whereas the original author English peasant isn't! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:46, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit Gravity

Okay. It was just a joking reference to Tarantino's little fetish. PS: Thanks for uploading the Gregg's logo. Hilarious. :) --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 10:27, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

If you check the last link on the Village Dump forum as regards Greggs, you will see how the story developed. Sky credited me with the logo but it was originally put there by English peasant four years ago. A Google bot did the rest. Doughnuts or donuts...--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:30, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:"Dingo ate my baby" dad finally sells death car‎

My article in the #1 spot on the Front Page is filler until something better comes along (#2 through #5 are side-by-sides), but this new UnNews is more offbeat than funny, is not based on newsy news, and seems written mostly to advertise an Uncyclopedia article, so I'll pass on it. My new UnNews:US won't reveal text of Obama-care is too ranty to use too. Spıke ¬ 13:04 20-Aug-14

This was kind of big news in this part of the world and we even heard about it here in NZ. I saw the mention of a different James Cameron in the source story and couldn't pass up giving it the movie slant. Thank-you Spike for the "top billing" position. Captain gull (talk) 22:05, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit RE: Request

Thanks for the response. I would like to delete this account. Starpluck (talk) 13:26, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

You go here: --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:30, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

Can I at least kindly get a name change to Felixed69 right before I do? Please? Starpluck (talk) 13:41, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

No. Close the old account first. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:43, August 20, 2014 (UTC)
You already applied for a name change — to something else — at User talk:Sannse, where we normally send such requests (incidentally blanking the page). At this point you seem to be simply wasting people's time. If you want to go away, just go away. Spıke ¬ 13:45 20-Aug-14

edit User Stephen100000

I have permabanned him and removed your overture to him. See the "contributions" of Stephen10000. On his VFD nominee, United Socialist States of America, previous editor was Stephenkollenborn1000. This guy, under 3 IDs, has done nothing but hack up this article and then try to VFD it. Spıke ¬ 11:55 21-Aug-14

Ahh. That's fine. I hadn't realised he had a previous record. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:08, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit File:UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING.png


Can you do that in the same font (Impact) as the others? Can you specify a transparent background? Spıke ¬ 18:18 21-Aug-14

Concerning UnNews, I've just noticed an external link on our main page in the rigt column dedicated to UnNews, just below the list of all the recent UnNews articles. It's a link to a website, called freewebs (its subdomain to be more precise: [1]), and when you click on it, it says that the website is frozen. Is Wikia supoosed its owner? And what is supposed to be on this website? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:36, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

Found and removed. It looks like someone else didn't pay their hosting fees.... Spıke ¬ 19:04 21-Aug-14
PS--Oh, "freewebs" — I guess something else went wrong. I don't know what this used to do. With Romartus's permission, I scrubbed the UnNews Front Page itself perhaps six months ago and pulled out a bunch of links that no longer did anything. Spıke ¬ 19:05 21-Aug-14
I will have to do that tomorrow as regards the logos. Sorry. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:18, August 21, 2014 (UTC)
OK. Our Navelism articles are in the 2- and 3-spots; I put Dingo in the #1 spot with a different logo, and you can see the contrast, even if you don't specify blue heather as your Uncyclopedia background as I do. The #3 spot looks ratty because File:Mark Zuckerberg.jpg (now a Facebook logo) was done with excess blank space at top and bottom; you might be able to crop it. Speaking of upload-a-new-version, Sannse has been back with another test, evidently surprising herself with the results. Spıke ¬ 21:28 21-Aug-14
As you can see, I got something done with IrfanView. The degree of stickiness of each of its options is baffling, I do not know how to move a selection in the image, and it really doesn't support transparency as a fourth color dimension (so at the edge of the letters you will always get a little of whatever color my canvas was), but it may be good enough for our purposes; if not, dig in. Spıke ¬ 22:14 21-Aug-14

edit Please unprotect my user and talk pages

Hi, about a year ago you so kindly protected my user and talk pages so that no harm could come to them after I had been dragged away to Neverland and imprisoned in the bottom of a sunk ship. Now I have found my way back and I would like to have access to my things again. See, I've even archived my talk page; you don't have to worry yourself about those annoying little tricks I used to get up to. Sound alright? -– Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribs) 15:20, August 22, 2014 (UTC)

Unlocked. You are free to wander around. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:26, August 22, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks! -– Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribs) 15:37, August 22, 2014 (UTC)
Noone forced you to leave this website, you left because of disagreements with users here, as I did. "Dragged away to the bottom of a sunk ship"? I find the ease at which you have returned to this website which you had nothing but hate for a few weeks ago, your subsequent brown nosing of the users here and the fact you now seem to relish attacking the other site now quite distateful. I was hoping you would return to the other site, but seeing this, I'm not so sure. Banzaikitten (talk) 16:21, August 22, 2014 (UTC)
An apology to Romartus, I thought this was on llwy's talk page. I have left enough rants on Romartus talkpages in the past. Banzaikitten (talk) 16:23, August 22, 2014 (UTC)
I see a lot of 'drama stoking'. Can we all just chuck buckets of water over each other??--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:26, August 22, 2014 (UTC)
Ice water or boiling water? Banzaikitten (talk) 16:34, August 22, 2014 (UTC)
Take the cabbage and potatoes out first. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:39, August 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Correction

Hey Romartus. I don't think you made the correction on the forum page about the bakery logo, mind if I do? Ta -- sannse@Wikia (talk) 15:53, August 26, 2014 (UTC)

Yes, go ahead please. Thanks. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:38, August 26, 2014 (UTC)

edit PLS in 2015 2014

Thanks for putting this in the site banner! Do you agree with the date? Another question: would you like to host it yourself as usually? You can rely on my help in the organization and judging (if I'll be able to edit Uncyclopedia).

I will also adapt the planner into an actual "official" page that everyone else may comprehend and which can be linked in the same banner so that users can start signing up for competitons! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 22:24, August 26, 2014 (UTC)

PLS in 2015? I am thinking you are wanting one in 2014 (this year). I can host it and act as one of the judges again. Need a reasonable quota of writers to participate. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:03, August 27, 2014 (UTC)
Whoops, I forgot that the year ends in December! Yes, about the writers, but I think this banner will notify them. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:03, August 27, 2014 (UTC)
By the way, is Wikia planning to give out money for it, as it announced last summer? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:50, August 27, 2014 (UTC)
Ah, yes. That was the proposal in 2013. Details needed to be worked out how to do this. I will come back before we officially start anything on PLS. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:24, August 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Kids crash internet hunting for Jennifer Lawrence's breasts

Hard to feature this one, given the cluttered photo. Can you crop or replace it? Spıke ¬ 04:15 3-Sep-14

Cropped and uploaded. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:30, September 3, 2014 (UTC)

I don't see any change. Spıke ¬ 10:50 3-Sep-14

I have uploaded a different pic for the UnNews front page. This one. JLawrence01.jpg‎ --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:02, September 3, 2014 (UTC)

edit User "Mjduniverse2"

This guy's user page identifies him as a coding guru, but you have read my comment to him, essentially that he has a coding guru's sense of humor too. However, if you are going to give him the dreaded {{Oh Dear}}, which I don't disagree with, and at the bottom of the talk page rather than the top, please sign it or attach your own remarks, so it will not seem as though the template's canned insults are attached to my (plenty acerbic) remarks. Spıke ¬ 17:35 5-Sep-14

I have done so. Mjduniverse2 gets a warning for now. I looked for him on Wikia but couldn't find the account. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:39, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Probably without the "2" as he complains our signature firewall to the rest of Wikia forced him to choose again.

With apologies, I have deleted your personal note to Mjduniverse2, as you typed it into the template, which instantly sent it to two thousand other Uncyclopedians, should any of them look back to the top of their talk pages. Please try again. Spıke ¬ 17:46 5-Sep-14

Ah! Ok.--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:10, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

edit Rotherham

Would you please review the edits of two days ago by Anon (revert or mark Patrolled)? In my opinion, it is not humor but a thickly coded reference to local events that the general reader will not know.

Separately, I have plenty of HoS credits to share half a one with Hpolo2o for Netflix, even though Anton199 graciously gave me his half; but in view of this morning's borderline-vandalism, I suspect that Hpolo2o is not going to be with us for long. The ranty early drafts of Netflix don't even merit "Concept by" but at most an "Article suggestion." Spıke ¬ 10:36 8-Sep-14

Ok, I will check Rotherham. I understand why that article would have been played around with. Regards Netflix, you can three half votes I guess but I haven't registered half votes on their own on the Hall of Shame. Originally you needed three features to get on there. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:15, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Please also check those recent edits by Hpolo2o; I don't think they help. Spıke ¬ 11:19 8-Sep-14

I will let the edit stand on Rotherham. It's wacky North Korean stuff but I won't put the article on UN:VFD as the place is quite topical in UK politics as any Google search will verify. Ok, will check Hpolo2o's edits. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:21, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Duchess gets pregnant to save the marriage

Renamed this UnNews to work a new angle into the headline. Also put it in the 1-spot, as an UnNews about a Joe Biden gaffe (indeed, both UnNewses) are of short shelf life. Spıke ¬ 13:53 8-Sep-14

That's fine, the issue of Scotland disappearing off and the UK collapsing like Yugoslavia...possible! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:42, September 8, 2014 (UTC)
Save marriage and Scotland perhaps? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:54, September 8, 2014 (UTC)
My own capacity to impregnate is always at the nation's service, ooh, pun. Spıke ¬ 16:57 8-Sep-14

edit Uncyclopedia:Drama

And Navelism. Do we have a full set of four Horsemen of Apocalyptically Bad Writing? Spıke ¬ 13:17 9-Sep-14

The Four Horsemen of Apocalyptically bad writing

And does Drama have to go to such lengths to document every notorious drama queen in Uncyclopedia history? Spıke ¬ 13:26 9-Sep-14

Seems so. I saw it was written by Matfen. I guess this is the history of this site, along with archived forums too. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:54, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I rewrote the front of it to change the focus from caricatures of Uncyclopedians to the subject of how drama arises in the first place. Left intact the examples (as Uncyclopedia's "Old Masters" of drama), though it strikes me as massive vanity: Notorious personal attacks of our past mostly amuse the person who made (or received) the attack. Spıke ¬ 12:11 10-Sep-14

edit User:Romartus/Welcome2

If you want to change the photo in {{Writing funny stuff}}, that's fine, but you have created a personal copy of it with a different photo in this Welcome file of yours. This means it won't pick it up when I add Uncyclopedia:Drama to the site-wide template tonight. Spıke ¬ 00:56 10-Sep-14

That's ok. We can have personalised welcome templates in my view. The other one can remain the default. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:04, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I am not saying not to have a personalized welcome template; I am saying not to have yours contain a personalized copy of {{Writing funny stuff}}. This is a directory of useful pages, and referencing it will let users you welcome (and welcomed) continue to see the pages currently viewed as useful. Spıke ¬ 12:08 10-Sep-14

Do we need an official welcome template? Perhaps more than one to vary it (the monkey)?? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:46, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I am not saying not to have a personalized welcome template nor to dictate how individual Welcomers work. You can code any page to render differently each time, though I never like these gimmicks. But we should have a single template of commonly referenced policy pages. Spıke ¬ 13:01 10-Sep-14

edit UnNews:Loch Ness Monster to swim south if Scotland secedes

I shortened the title again. (Might even be tighter with "Nessie" in place of the full name.) What's with the single and double quotes? Be consistent in a single article! surely single quotes when writing about Scotland, unless you want to go all-American.

I kept Obama Un-war in the #1 spot to do a secession side-by-side. Spıke ¬ 12:40 11-Sep-14

I wasn't sure if Nessie would be identified as such. Scotland the Braveheart. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:07, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Another angle on Scottish independence?

Mike Shedlock (libertarian and consistently incisive on economic issues) at calls the banks' threat to pull out of Scotland a "scare campaign."

It is an idle threat that replacing a dotted line with a solid line will make businesses replace thousands of successful employment and vendor relationships with untried ones, and especially either that Britain would withdraw its banknotes or that Scotland and her privateers would sit around and let everyone starve rather than invent a solution. Also that Scotland's aging population makes higher social spending a certainty, or that there is no way for England to get access to North Sea oil at a fair price without owning it. These people need to get their assumptions questioned. Separation does not mean boycott or war.

I am only mentioning any of this to you because the threat is so idle as to possibly be...funny. Spıke ¬ 10:32 13-Sep-14

The Scottish government could adopt the Bitcoin and call it the Scotcoin (or BraveheartCoin) if they can't keep the pound or decline to join the Euro. There is the 'Panamanian' solution (adopt the US dollar instead) but that will bring up the reasons why Scotland joined the Union in 1707 originally. It had gone bankrupt over spending money on a colony in...Panama. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:14, September 13, 2014 (UTC)

I feel you are on your way. Wouldn't Scotland keep the Pound and let the Still Nearly United Kingdom devise the Britcoin? As an aside, most of the banana republics that have happily renounced the power to wreck their currency and adopted the dollar have a local alternative to soggy old $1 notes. Spıke ¬ 11:20 13-Sep-14

BritCoin Union agreed between Scotland and rUK (Rest of UK) or fUK (Former United Kingdom). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:28, September 13, 2014 (UTC)

Article in! Thanks for the ideas! Spıke ¬ 15:29 13-Sep-14

edit Patrolling

May I saddle you with the last six unpatrolled recent edits? Half concern Brits. Please revert, improve, or mark them as Patrolled. Spıke ¬ 09:46 17-Sep-14

Ok. I will check. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:54, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks. PS--I would not have welcomed TheSixMillionDollarTaco but banned him. His first edit, to Encyclopedia Dramatica (Website), was unambiguous vandalism, including rants in the text about how stupid Uncyclopedia is. Spıke ¬ 10:12 17-Sep-14

The article invites that approach in my view. If he does that elsewhere, then it will be more than a revert. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:36, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Well, you did not patrol them, so I did, and was merciless. Spıke ¬ 23:15 18-Sep-14

Hmm.Ok. When you see an edit that is no good, how do you mark the page as patrolled and then revert the changes? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:48, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

Reverting an edit automatically marks it Patrolled. (Using Undo to do something fancier than just reverting does not mark it.) You'll see a link [Mark as patrolled] in the diff report. To patrol multiple edits, use the tool mentioned in UN:HAX. For a vandal, the Rollback All tool in UN:HAX rolls back all a user's edits with a single click, marks them Patrolled, and marks them Bot, meaning they disappear entirely from the usual view of RecentChanges. Spıke ¬ 08:56 19-Sep-14

OK thanks Spike. You are either up very early or have yet to sleep. I am working on a 'Scottie' story which I will add later. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:58, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

May go back to bed despite the coffee. Might not. It's Simsie who doesn't sleep at all. Spıke ¬ 09:02 19-Sep-14

Separately, please review my comment at User talk:Gabriel Turner. Following my deletion, he re-uploaded the page in his userspace. I don't think that is what our website is for, and am not seeing any humor. Spıke ¬ 08:59 19-Sep-14

Sorry for intervening, but I think any page should be allowed in one's userspace unless it violates Terms of Use directly. It might be unpleasant to see someone you have already talked to about a page, reupload it right after its deletion, but it might just mean he understands it shouldn't be in the main encyclopedi, but would like to have a copy somewhere close-by. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:02, September 19, 2014 (UTC)
I looked at the page in question and see some humor. Plus, I presume that what is called "the source of the article" was merely a source for inspiration, because the two versions are actually different. And Gabriel's one shows promise! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:08, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit alive, but I have a *splitting* headache

So Uncyclopdia has become two? It's rather disappointing that the community has fractured. I'd like to write articles to spork and put on one or the other, but they've even buggered up the formatting so I can't do that without issue. My brief visit to both shows they've got pretty similar problems, which is sad. --Nikau (talk) 16:36, September 18, 2014 (UTC)

Hi Nikau. Yes where there was one there are now two. A few writers criss-cross between the 'Spoon' and 'Fork', some move over to one permanently and others go in a different direction. The drop in overall activity is to be regretted but the atmosphere pre-schism had become pretty toxic in my view. May the best parody website win. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:13, September 18, 2014 (UTC)
I wouldn't really say they've got similar problems--they've basically become two extremes. If the problems appear similar at first glance, it's because extremes are generally bad. -– Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribs) 21:23 18 Sep 2014
Not only will two independent websites grow to use different templates, but they will inevitably have different populations of articles, meaning red-links on one but not another. Nikau, you'll either have to adjust your articles to work these problems, or choose one home; I argue elsewhere that the "corporate" Uncyclopedia is a far safer place for contributions. Romartus, not only was the atmosphere toxic in 2012 but authorship had been declining. Dividing the remaining author base in two was unwise, when the supposed problems would eventually be largely solved, notably by the fact that you went to Wikia headquarters and were not a jerk. Spıke ¬ 23:14 18-Sep-14
Don't forget Simsilikesims being there too. Ironically, if that invitation had gone out earlier, the leading lights of the Fork would have got the trip to San Francisco. Whether they would have carried on with the schism is upto to future historians...--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:53, September 19, 2014 (UTC)
hmm, I remember one of the big disagreements being about content being dictated to us and, corollary to that, the possibility of ad revenue. The other Uncyclopdia hasn't actually adopted any ads so it's meaningless. I'd have loved it of one of the sites had small ads that could raise money to be reinvested in writing competitions.
Then again, there would be the massive copyright disagreement that would come with ads. Unfortunately even crap like Cracked offers a monetary incentive to attract the best writers, and the quality here has always been far better. Users like, for example, Prettiestpretty (if I recall) graduated to paid writing work, and I'd love to have them back, but the lack of financial incentive has always left us to be a (possibly the finest) hobbyist humor website on the net. Not that it's bad. We've had a great community. However we're in a situation (and have been for the last 5 years at least) where the serious writers and readers are the same people, very limited, group of people.
The open source nature of Uncyclopdia has been its greatest curse and its finest asset; we've got a whole lot of writers who write for the love of writing, but the nature of the site has always made it difficult to navigate easily between the absolute best articles and build a big reader base. The fight against bad quality has probably now been won, what with our 3000 features or whatever, but the participation and reader numbers have been on a gradual decline since 2008. I'm pretty sure I said what the problem was before, but here goes again; Wikipedia is a database, we're a database, beyond the one daily featured article we rely on users searching for a specific page and hoping it's feature quality... but everywhere other humor site on the internet is organized as basically one front page that funnels readers to the best content. Readers go to that single page once a day/week and get links to dozens of the absolute best articles; Uncyclopdia only links one or two features a day.
No, I don't know how to rectify these issues. Beyond a drastic redesign of Wikipedia to be more user friendly - one we follow - the site is probably going to have to live with a very low readership but, on the plus side, we will be relevant for as long as Wikipedia is. --Nikau (talk) 16:32, September 19, 2014 (UTC)
Is there still a traffic analysis dashboard accessable through wikia? It would be interesting to see the most visited pages and work from there. --Nikau (talk) 16:49, September 19, 2014 (UTC)
You mean via Wikia's main portal? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:39, September 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit More details in the site banner?

Hello again! As the Poo Lit Surprise starts tomorrow, maybe the exact date and time should be mentioned in the banner? I also have another suggestion: Puppy once mentioned that site banners that are comprehensible to only active registered users can chase others away. Perhaps, add a few phrases, like "If you have an account, add your work to the competition page! If not, then enlist here and then add your work to the competition page!"? Or something funny, but the point is it would be good if the accountless among us could get clear directions. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:52, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

Way back when PLS started in 2006, and the reward was monetary, they had a fairly straight delivery in their advertising (far far pre Wikia or a notifications bar). They gave out an Amazon gift card as a prize and drew 28 candidates in the best article category. I'd avoid injokes at all costs on this kind of thing. I've found a lot of the supposedly 'help' or portal pages that have become full of injoke cruft are too self indulgent to attract readers - see the rather poor Uncycloversity for one. Laying the jokes on should probably be second priority to actually informing people, ala HTBFANJS --Nikau (talk) 01:53, September 20, 2014 (UTC)
We should probably specify it's a writing competition. --Nikau (talk) 01:56, September 20, 2014 (UTC)
Re. site banners that are more or less comprehensible to outsiders, it's possible to have a separate site notice for logged-out and logged-in users by customising respectively MediaWiki:Anonnotice and MediaWiki:Sitenotice. That isn't directly related to the PLS, though. -– Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribs) 03:55 20 Sep 2014
There will be a token monetary prize this year. I will arrange it. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:37, September 20, 2014 (UTC)
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