User talk:Romartus

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Leave Comments Below or not:- --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:20, August 6, 2015 (UTC)

edit Catching up

Good morning, I see we are back in business and it looks like Spike kindly sorted the poopsmithing. I was expecting a backlog of un patrolled edits and was here to volunteer assistance but they are cleared too. I am handing over my ship in about an hour and going on leave, is there anything remaining you or Spike need help with this afternoon to catch up? --EStop (talk) 10:04, July 22, 2015 (UTC)

Ah..missed the I guess you have gone on leave. Handing over your ship? Are you a captain in the Queen's Navy??--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:23, July 22, 2015 (UTC)
Nothing quite so splendid! My command is more of a self-propelled floating construction site, you know, riggers, crane ops, "hero rock".--EStop (talk) 21:07, July 23, 2015 (UTC)

edit The Who

I've got a new version of The Who article on my userspace. Could you go over it and see if it's good enough to replace the current article? I took bits from the old article and distilled them, then combined them with the new article.--EpicWinner (talk) 22:35, July 22, 2015 (UTC)

Ok, will do. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:23, July 23, 2015 (UTC)
Same problem as with the Star Wars article. You have created an extension of a featured article. I can see some re-use of material and the basic joke - Doctor Who/The Who - remains. Now, saying all this, there was a featured article that was changed/extended. It was also about a band. Let me see if can recover the article's name and the discussion at the time. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:44, July 23, 2015 (UTC)
Yes was "brought up-to-date" earlier this year. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:51 23-Jul-15
Odd, it is not showing in the article's history. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:05, July 23, 2015 (UTC) should be Yes (band)! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:06, July 23, 2015 (UTC)
Sorry! Yes. Spıke Radiomicrophone16:46 23-Jul-15

Now that you looked at the Yes article, do you think mine can be arranged? Also, do you recommend linking years (e.g. 1964, 1965) or not?--EpicWinner (talk) 17:36, July 23, 2015 (UTC)

We are in the business of parodying Wikipedia. Wikipedia does not make links of year numbers (as in 1964), and therefore we do not either; this is also why we don't add excess capital letters to page titles and section headings. Wikipedia reasons that, reading that something happened in 1964, it is rare that a reader needs to go directly to a page describing everything else that happened in 1964. That is not helping the reader; that is free-association on drugs.
I haven't looked at Yes (band) in a long time. The issue, then and now, is that when an author is voted to the website main page, his work is preserved against latter-day attempts to "do it better." Anyone can try to deal with the subject matter better, but no one ought to try to rewrite that exact page. This is sometimes a shame, as there are some crappy pages in our FA list.
I haven't looked at your recent edits, except one, which I thought was on the obscene side. Writing about MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES, even if Samuel Jackson is in play, amuses you more than the reader, who will see it as mechanical repetition of a stereotype. Spıke Radiomicrophone18:01 23-Jul-15

Romartus, thank you for commenting further to EpicWinner, as he either ignored the above or defied it, including with stylistic edits to the said FA Yes (band). Regarding his other edits, he may have disavowed his earlier work, but a lot of what he is doing nightly here is still stuck in the developmental phase called "Watch Me Rant!" As you egged him on, please serve as his de facto adoptor. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:42 24-Jul-15

The odd thing is, EpicWinner never writes on his own talk page. OK, I will keep an eye out. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:45, July 24, 2015 (UTC)

edit The Who and Yes (Part 2)

I see there is a fundamental problem with feature re-write or extension. Looking at the Yes (band) example. The original article was by Thehallway in 2010. It was featured and came in at 36,600 bytes. In 2014 M00rglade asked to add some extra info. Because we were not really paying attention, the article length went to 69,760 bytes - essentially doubling it in size. This is not to say the extra info was good or bad but I think this has set a precedent. we revert all that work or at least copy the existing Yes article and revert it back to 2010 status or come up with a new definition of 'adding' to a featured article (my emphasis). This would therefore also apply to the Who article reworking by EpicWinner. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:02, July 25, 2015 (UTC)

I was paying attention (at the start!) and told him he could add to the article, as Yes continued to release new albums and then went on that worldwide Walkers and Iron Lungs Tour. The relative increment is not an issue; it could be that the latter-day albums deserve that many words. If M00rglade has reworked or restyled the original feature, that is a problem.
Likewise, again, EpicWinner is free to write another article about The Who, and we have many ways of pointing readers of the FA to his sequel — but not to replace or supplant the FA.
That is our rule. I would be willing to reconsider our trophy case that protects FAs, as many of them are from our era in which we featured copycat articles that did nothing other than admit an Uncyclopedian to a clique. I am also eager to rewrite 2006 FA Martin Van Buren so that it is about something other than a guy who hit me up for twenty bucks in the locker room and who looks like shit. But I don't think any other Admin agrees with me. Spıke Radiomicrophone18:31 25-Jul-15
I think M00rglade got carried away so I will consider a cut back on some of that. Otherwise, I would prefer we stick to the Featured Articles receiving protection from excessive re-editing or replacing unless the active community wills it. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 20:47, July 25, 2015 (UTC)

edit A Clarification

I just want to clarify that I was the one who created the Mod section on the Minecraft page, and all I was doing with that minor edit was adding a mob that I forgot was in Minecraft. If you think it is unfunny, why didn't you just edit it rather than delete it alltogether? TTMsigTTMsig2 (Profile) (SPEAK!) 16:35, July 26, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, I now see it is your article. Apologies. We have a recent spate of users changing featured articles (see EpicWinner) that were not the original author/inspirer of them. Since I have never played Minecraft, I wasn't sure if the edit was adding anything or not. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:26, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

It's okay, but its not my article, just that one section. 13:25, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

In fact I see it is by Frosty, an irregular visitor to these shores. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:29, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

And please excuse me for going into "anon" mode earlier, I had some difficulties logging in. TTMsigTTMsig2 (Profile) (SPEAK!) 19:54, July 27, 2015 (UTC)


Why did you redirect the ROBLOX page to Vanity? Nobody can see it now! TTMsigTTMsig2 (Profile) (SPEAK!) 19:53, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

No problem, users have had a lot of loggin issues with the database merger between Uncyclopedia and Wikia. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 20:13, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

But why is ROBLOX redirected? (I wrote that article) TTMsigTTMsig2 (Profile) (SPEAK!) 21:16, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

Restored. My logs were showing it was an article that had been huffed before. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:39, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

Much appreciated my good sir, pardon me for asking, but what do you mean by being "huffed" before? I am fully aware of all the crap edits it is getting, but you can't really stop that, after all, the subject of the article has a VERY notorious fan-base. TTMsigTTMsig2 (Profile) (SPEAK!) 23:28, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

There were previous versions of ROBLOX by other writers that have been huffed in the past. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:11, July 28, 2015 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:Talk pages

I thought it would be good if we actually wrote unofficial policy into written policy regarding talk page etiquette. Your help and input on this page would be most welcome. Simsilikesims (talk) 22:08, July 27, 2015 (UTC)

Extend this article or to point users there? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:41, July 27, 2015 (UTC)
Right now, I'm thinking to extend it, then when we have community input on it, to point users there. Simsilikesims (talk) 22:44, July 27, 2015 (UTC)
Have we had a recent problem? I know it is frustrating when users don't talk back on their own talk page regards questions. We also penalise those who remove conversations unless that is vandalism and/or bullying. I try and leave an 'admin advisory' with comments and if a user is banned, an explanation why they have been banned. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:04, July 28, 2015 (UTC)

edit Autopatrol recommendation

Please grant HELPME the autopatrol privilege. Ye Blacke Adder (talk) 00:14, July 29, 2015 (UTC)

Done. Thanks for the shout. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:25, July 29, 2015 (UTC)

edit First-past-the-post voting

Simsie has voted for and featured this article for 1-Aug. Unfortunately, this seems to have interfered with your selection for 2-Aug. At the moment, the "Yesterday's Feature" is null. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:16 2-Aug-15

Fixed it. First-past-the-post voting is featured for the 7th August. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:07, August 2, 2015 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:Talk pages

I've revised this policy page that Simsie started. Would you care to add levity in the form of illustrations? Spıke Radiomicrophone03:16 2-Aug-15

OK, will see what I can find to match the article's contents. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:08, August 2, 2015 (UTC)

Well-done! And all using nothing but your own Catholic high-school yearbook, I reckon. Spıke Radiomicrophone17:03 2-Aug-15

If I had one, I would have used it. I may change the images if I come up with anything else but I hope these will do for now. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:54, August 2, 2015 (UTC)

edit Pope Benedict XVI

I was working Special:BrokenRedirects this morning. Several redirects remain to this article. As our resident expert on Papism, you may be able to point them to some article that exists. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:47 6-Aug-15

Papism? No Topiary! Ok, I will have a look. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:06, August 6, 2015 (UTC)
I thought I had fixed that. Some leftover messing around work by DylanMcKaneWiki. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:18, August 6, 2015 (UTC)

edit Blocking

EpicWinner here. I'd like to explain why I changed the Disney article. I made some edits back a few months ago that nobody seemed to react to. After you told me FAs shouldn't be messed with, I went back and tried to fix the mistake. I'm not trying to be destructive in editing here, though I might've been a bit overzealous in retrospect.-- 00:13, August 7, 2015 (UTC)

Edits to a featured article are permissible if they are for updating purposes. Since you have now explained what you have been doing, I will lift the ban. Just for now, please keep off the Featured Articles as such. There are plenty of non-featured material that needs work on here but try not to be too drastic. Sometimes it is easier to start afresh with your own article. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:15, August 7, 2015 (UTC)

edit The Apple article

This article was completely unfunny until I took it under my wing, and now I think it looks a lot better. However, problem is, there's another version of the article that's basically the same thing, only with a pastry theme, and it's an FA. What should be done?--EpicWinner (talk) 17:07, August 7, 2015 (UTC)

Nothing. This website famously states (at HTBFANJS) that multiple articles on the same subject are allowed and are not required to be compatible. The original author did exactly the right thing: Rather than overturn an FA, created a parallel universe of his own under a slightly different name so that it could coexist with the FA. Until someone else came along and declared his work "completely unfunny" and his own work "a lot better." Perhaps you should have created a third Apple page. Spıke Radiomicrophone17:16 7-Aug-15
I agree that the rewrite was a great improvement on the page. Nice work, EpicWinner! Anton (talk) 08:17, August 10, 2015 (UTC)

edit Yanggakdo International Hotel

This article is horrible in content and coding — but its Change History indicates that you were shepherding it. Do you want it? Spıke Radiomicrophone17:36 9-Aug-15

I wouldn't say it is horrible in content at all but does end in a list and is therefore a bit of a stub. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:37, August 9, 2015 (UTC)

edit DylanMcKaneWiki

User has returned from his ban and has taken up adding Excretion Humor to the site. Please evaluate. Spıke Radiomicrophone16:05 14-Aug-15

He has added an article about Ainsley Harriott. Other edits are borderline but I will see how this develops. Perhaps he is related to EpicWinner?? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:50, August 14, 2015 (UTC)

edit Noble gases

Hey, I got another Uncyclopedia feature! Cool! Only one thing I'd like if you could fix it. When somebody moved the photos around on the page, the numbers caused by # symbols on the helium article ended up going over the pic description. And while I had already changed the photo caption from Wikia censorship to NSA censorship like I was asked to, I hadn't changed the reference in the article. I fixed all that. So could make the featured version be the one at Thanks! :) Miley Spears Discordian American Princess to the Stars (let's talk) 03:02, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

I moved a photo. Has that helped? Not sure what you meant about the reference. I added 'counter intelligence' to see if that made it clearer. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:25, August 15, 2015 (UTC)
Sorry I guess I didn't explain that well. I wrote "I fixed all that." I had already fixed the article so you didn't need to fix anything in the article. I put it back to my fix but added your link to the National Security Agency. Now the fixed version is I wanted the Feature article link to link to that because that is now the fixed version. That was the only change I wanted. OK? :) Miley Spears Discordian American Princess to the Stars (let's talk) 02:37, August 16, 2015 (UTC)
I am not sure that matters as the version the current version is now protected from further editing (by the admins) unless it to correct a missed typo. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:37, August 17, 2015 (UTC)
It matters to me because the current "featured version" has those errors in it that I fixed. When some people like me go to a featured article, they often click on the featured version link. So fix it pretty please? :) Miley Spears Discordian American Princess to the Stars (let's talk) 03:42, August 19, 2015 (UTC)

edit Sitenotice

I am no longer able to edit MediaWiki:Sitenotice id to increment the number to make visible the spiffy new edit that I was able to make to MediaWiki:Sitenotice. See if you can do so.

I am also not able to delete the Special:BrokenRedirects that are .CSS and .JS files even though they are nothing but redirects to nonexistent pages somehow resulting from the username merge. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:41 18-Aug-15

There was something about css and js files on Wikia central. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:21, August 18, 2015 (UTC)

I didn't find it. The act of using the Enhanced [sic] Online Search did not change my skin from Uncyclopedia, though it disable my veto of advertisements. Perhaps you have a link? In any case, please just increment MediaWiki:Sitenotice id if my site notice is a keeper. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:26 19-Aug-15

As I mention offline, the above problem seems to be an effect of a Wikia-wide lockdown following a vandal penetration using CSS and JS.

I filed another ticket as I started receiving junk mail from Wikia despite my standing orders. This morning, another glitch occurred and a dozen of my Preferences were randomized. I noticed this as RecentChanges went to GMT; also, my signature was cancelled. Am mentioning this to you because your recent welcome of a new user, plus one edit in your userspace, registered as 'bot edits. This means most users won't see them in Recent Changes. Please check your My preferences. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:59 21-Aug-15

Belay that: It seems that you have turned into a bot entirely. Condolences. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:01 21-Aug-15

Ah..Is that what it does? Also having the same problem when I visit and sign on other Wikia sites. Sig files get messed up. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:10, August 21, 2015 (UTC)

Sannse, looking more closely at the same Special Page, reports that you made the change yourself, on 19-Aug. She speculates that it was accidental, but I think it has something to do with your fantasy fate of Jeff Bezos in UnNews:Amazon boss denies he is a "slave-driver". Spıke Radiomicrophone19:56 26-Aug-15

edit Warranty

I noticed you did a lot of the suggested improvement work on warranty while I was too busy IRL to do it myself, such as improving the fake contact address and adding nice pictures. Now that the article has been successfully featured, I figured I had to drop by and thank you for your help! Chunkles (talk) 00:14, August 22, 2015 (UTC)

I thought the story needed some images so had a look round. Spike changed the address at the end to make it sound more 'plausible'. Glad you approved of the changes. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:37, August 23, 2015 (UTC)
That was inspired by a real-life conversation with my Internet provider reseller on the occasion of their stealth tariff increase. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:52 25-Aug-15

edit Signature woes

I presume your signature preference was deleted, as mine was, in the recent round of unpleasantness by the Wikia coding studs who are supposed to pre-clear any new JavaScript we write. Your reference to your own signature file gets preceded by SUBST: (I don't know if this is new). You must change this to SUBST:nosubst| or it will spit the contents of your signature file at each locus sigilium, as it did where you signed above. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:52 25-Aug-15

Let me see...sign....--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:38, August 25, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews collab

Hi Romartus, just to let you know, User:ScottPat and I are going to have a bit of fun with a collab UnNews today, so he'll be in User:EStop/UnNews collab ScottPat/EStop.‎ --EStop (talk) 08:45, August 29, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks EStop for the advanced warning! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:04, August 29, 2015 (UTC)

edit Jeremy Corbyn

Love the article. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:37, August 29, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks ScottPat. If any of the other three win, I will come up with an article for them too! I think Tim Farron of the Liberal Democrats probably requires a knocking biography. I haven't got inspired by him as yet (as in comic inspiration, not political inspiration). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:50, August 29, 2015 (UTC)
Agreed. Unfortunately I know nothing about him more than the fact he has some controversial opinions surrounding gay marriage that he says doesn't effect the fact that he is a liberal. Perhaps an article in which he accepts he has outrageous fundamental beliefs (or even bizarre made up beliefs) but reassures everyone he is still a liberal. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 14:05, August 29, 2015 (UTC)

edit Patrol

Morning Romartus, I'm a bit stumped... User:Lars Gunblade is a real rock performer. Either he is here taking the mick out of himself on his talk page (which I very much doubt) or more likely it is a new user that has decided to use his name. What do you think?--EStop (talk) 10:10, August 31, 2015 (UTC)

Ah, you fixed. Thanks. --EStop (talk) 10:12, August 31, 2015 (UTC)

We wont know the answer to that. I doubt a rock performer would wander by and create an account here so I am guessing this is a fan. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:45, August 31, 2015 (UTC)
There is no problem with a new user including a photograph of himself on his user page (nor any other personal details unless it becomes an advertisement or C.V.). However, as this rock band is not on Wikipedia, the page certainly wouldn't belong in mainspace. Lars Gunblade is probably a stage name, and Vas Defrens is definitely made up, unless OP is a urologist. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:25 31-Aug-15

edit UnNews:Jericho 'confident' it can wall out immigrants

This story has tentacles into the US, as the social-work bureaucracy sees more Good Works we could do as well. I've stretched the "smite and kill" sentence into a new paragraph that is a thumbnail of fallacies in the US. Revert if you feel this interferes with your vision. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:01 11-Sep-15

That's fine. I was hoping to receive extra input in the story. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:41, September 11, 2015 (UTC)

It's now on the Front Page. But can you use ambiguity and double entendre, rather than strikethrough and piped links, to make the story apply equally to the Biblical event and the modern event? Spıke Radiomicrophone16:37 11-Sep-15

edit Labour Party (UK)

I saw you'd done some editing on this page and I decided to a large re-write of the first half of it. We probably need to update the page to talk about recent events (Corbyn). SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 23:00, September 14, 2015 (UTC)

I removed a nonsense paragraph which wasn't any good in my view ScottPat. With Corbyn as the new leader, the article can have an overhaul. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:21, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
You've completely changed my first paragraph re-write. I'll mash together yours and mine. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:09, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
I think it's more original to suggest that Labour have always been a Blairite party and it is the socialists who are trying to hijack it. Otherwise associating Labour with the USSR and socialists without a clue about economics is too overused and is an opinion people hold seriously. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:13, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
Oh wait, you reverted everything I changed to the article. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:14, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
AH! Sorry. You can revert the stuff I put there. Agree as regards the Russian angle, is a bit overused. Also the 'Zanu-Liebor' one is something I always see in the blog sites associated with Guido Fawkes etc, a repetitive and worn out idea. Need a new 'meme'. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:19, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
I don't understand the "Zanu-Liebor" reference (probably something before my time) so that's why I originally left it in. But I agree that if it is a common thing, it should be kept out. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:32, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
I've covered a section on Attlee. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 12:36, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
I can't recall exactly why Labour were compared to Zimbabwe's ruling political party but this has been around since the late 1990s. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:04, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

I did a copy-edit of this today, hoping not to change anything, as I know nothing about the history of British political parties (though I know quite a bit about Page Three, to which I added a reference). I don't know the expression "wrong-foot" at the end of the Milibands section and am not sure it wasn't a typo. At "Conservative rout" I am not sure I am using the term "rout" in a way that will read correctly to a Brit.

A section that still needs work is Rise to prominence. It strikes me that some past editor wants too much to tell us why stuff happened (in his opinion), including the economic collapse. The whole section reads like advocacy.

Just now, ScottPat has added a second quotation, but its only claim to fame is parallelism with the first quotation. A little more of this and we'll have Bickering Quotations. It is the business of this article to assert that Labour sucks at winning elections, and/or at being reliably left-wing, and offer funny reasons why this might be — but not with a series of conclusions on the first two lines of the page. They purport to say how a given manifesto read, but in fact say what the writer believes (or doesn't). Both theses deserve developing in the article, but the conclusions should not be the lede. Find an actual funny quotation, or ditch them altogether. Spıke Radiomicrophone21:09 15-Sep-15

"Wrong-foot" is an expression for mis-directing or tripping up. Labour Leader Michael Foot, who spectacularly failed to "wrong-foot" the Conservative Party, could be worked into there to make a good pun. I re-wrote the entire Rise to prominence, so the previous editor refers to me. I realised that the economic crash description was too opinionated and am thinking of a way to re-work that. A lot of the rest of that section uses the humour of relating what happened then to the more recent events of the Labour Party today without directly notifying the reader of this.
We could ditch the quotations I guess. The first one is a joke on the publicly held opinion that the Labour Party was not different enough from the Conservatives. The other one was a joke about how the Labour Party must have been aiming for the number of seats the Liberal Democrats had considering how poorly they were set up for the election. A brilliant quote we could parody is Nye Bevan's "When we realise that all the tides of history are flowing in our direction, that we are not beaten, that we represent the future..." Another example of blaming anyone but themselves for their electoral defeat - a tradition in the Labour Party. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 22:12, September 15, 2015 (UTC)
OK, I've fiddled with that quote and added it. The article currently stands as a history of the Labour Party. We need to add sections on party organisation, party structure, the atrocious Labour PR department etc. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 22:19, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks! that is a much better tease to the reader to come inside. Spıke Radiomicrophone22:31 15-Sep-15

I will add a paragraph or two as regards 1931-1945 for the Labour party when it went through a 'Corbyn' era. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:06, September 16, 2015 (UTC)

edit Atonality

Clavtron and I have an authentic artistic disagreement. Please intervene in the morning. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:58 19-Sep-15

I had a read. I am guessing this is like writing an article about Dull and then writing in a dull way. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:43, September 19, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for your opinion. I have unblocked Clavtron and suggested a way for him to tell his story. Separately, Wolvy visited us last night, as Sheriff Trollipop Anti Clavtron Force and Anon. Also, our nightly UnNews blanker was back but AF20 as edited banned him four times. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:02 19-Sep-15

PS--Lots of new meat for you at VFD. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:11 19-Sep-15

edit User Expert3222

Give dis guy teh Rollbackz please. He has not written original comedy but seems to be on the site nightly, as is Wolvy lately, and pounces on each of his vandal hits. Spıke Radiomicrophone23:30 21-Sep-15

OK, will do. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 06:21, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

edit The Simpsons

Do you know anyone who could help bring this article up to scratch? I feel it doesn't really capture the brilliant humor of the older seasons and is really boring. It's wasted potential.

Also, are you the user ImperatorExercitus who used to edit a lot of Simpsons articles on Wikipedia? Your names sound similar (ImperatorExercitus, RomartusImperator).--EpicWinner (talk) 14:49, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

You are welcome to improve The Simpsons article, it is not featured. I am not ImperatorExercitus. If he is still active at Wikipedia, perhaps he can be invited over here. I am not a Simpsons fan so can't help. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:09, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

edit Site notice

Just so you're aware: Australian PM Tony Abbott was just ousted, and Malcolm Turnbull is our new PM. Theoretically he is a world leader. The previous edit was signed by PuppyOnTheRadio, but he is too lazy to create a signature yet. 07:15 am 25 Sep 2015

Will the budgie smuggler return? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:05, September 25, 2015 (UTC)
Not likely, but then Kevin Rudd was PM, ousted, and then ousted the ouster, so who the fuck knows. The previous edit was signed by PuppyOnTheRadio, but he is too lazy to create a signature yet. 09:31 am 25 Sep 2015
Has this new Australian political habit acquired a name? Italy used to be the country where they changed prime ministers every six months. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:41, September 25, 2015 (UTC)
We never had a revolution, so we revolve leaders to make up the gap. The previous edit was signed by PuppyOnTheRadio, but he is too lazy to create a signature yet. 09:50 am 25 Sep 2015
Over here, we are having fun ousting potential nominees, our world leader being intractable. (We're no racists.) Thoroughly adequate Scott Walker (except at creating a national organization) (or saying anything memorable in a debate) has bowed out with new-found conviction that walking away from the process will give him new influence over it. Perennial wonk Bobby Jitney remains in, likewise Lindsay Grahamnesty, the latter for the sole purpose of ensuring that the early contest in his state will not send anyone any messages (all the easier for Jeb Bush to seem like a serious thinker). And both of them will be gone before anyone gets around to creating an Uncyclopedia article on them.
However, Puppy's post, in context with its heading, seems to suggest that the site notice should get beyond the putsch at Labour (UK). Puppy, could you devise something more recent? Spıke Radiomicrophone14:33 25-Sep-15
PS--Turmoil today in the US as well: UnNews:Boehner gone, nation relieved. PPS--No problem with you countermanding me, but a month for EpicWinner was your sentence the last time he ignored your instructions not to edit FAs. Spıke Radiomicrophone22:40 25-Sep-15

edit Samuel Pepys

I had occasion to look up WP:Samuel Pepys (as I was editing a page with a reference to his diary, by way of noting that his surname is not pronounced Pee-pees, which of course it is), and I thought this would be a marvelous Uncyclopedia article:

  • The huge problem with bladder stones meant that, for most of a typical day, Samuel did not Pee-pee.
  • As he became Chief Secretary to the Admiralty despite not knowing which end of a ship was fore, he is probably history's first political hack.
  • His famous diary provided first-hand accounts of great events, such as the Great Plague of London, the Great Fire of London, the Great Rubbish-haulers' Strike of London, and the Great Price Markdown at Tesco of London.
  • The way he set out events in mundane detail, down to every little thing he ate, is historical disproof that tedious lectures about broccoli on the Bebe are a recent phenomenon, or could even be remedied by privatization. These archives could let us measure the pace at which Londoners became boring.
  • The insight he gave into London's theater productions, in terms of the actresses he laid, makes his diary an especially credible document, particularly for claims of paternity.

Alas, I see we already have such an article, and you had a hand in cleaning it up. But it still tends toward the random, when the reality is eminently ridiculous. Is it time to clean it up further? Spıke Radiomicrophone14:11 25-Sep-15

PS--My only prior contact with him is that the biography of WP:P. D. Q. Bach states that "Samuel Pepys where angels fear to tread." Spıke Radiomicrophone14:35 25-Sep-15

I listened to Pepys diary on audio book sometime back. He was quite a lad. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:11, September 25, 2015 (UTC)

edit Some vandal is being a douchenozzle

User:Gmaildamn. Check his contributions. As a mere peasant however I am not able to ban this user or remove his shite. --ConCass2 (talk) 08:53, September 26, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the shout. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:22, September 26, 2015 (UTC)

edit Liberal Democrat black metal

Anon added a super-long sentence to this article that I don't know what to make of. I defer to your Imperial familiarity with the topic(s). Spıke Radiomicrophone18:47 26-Sep-15

The Liberal Democrats were originally known as the Social and Liberal Democrats and the Democrats after the merger of the Liberal and SDP parties. I am presuming anon is referencing that there. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 00:04, September 27, 2015 (UTC)

edit Extent of editing FAs

As you obviously know, I've got myself in trouble for messing with a few FAs. Now, question: how much is too much when editing FAs? When editing the Hillary Clinton article, I took out some humor that I thought was unfunny, as well as correct some grammatical mistakes. Should I have consulted SPIKE beforehand? Are all FAs absolutely untouchable?--EpicWinner (talk) 00:29, September 27, 2015 (UTC)

Featured Articles should be left alone as they only become a highlighted article through the votes of the people active on the wiki at the time. I have already listed the reasons you can amend an article but that is as far as it goes. Say it happened to you. You write an article, it gets featured by others who judge it worthy to appear on the front page. Then someone called 'EpicLoser' turns up and totally alters it in the name of making it better. If it is about a subject the admins are not familiar with, who can tell? Then you return and ask why your article has been changed. End result will be a revert war, tantrums, tears before bedtime and 'Rage/Quit', that as yet unmade film by John Travolta and Nicolas Cage. So best to leave the featured articles alone and create your own articles or improve non-featured ones instead. There must be at least 30,000 pages here that can be worked on meantime. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:39, September 27, 2015 (UTC)

edit Hillary Clinton

Who knew consulting with others an option? I pointed in reinstating Romartus's ban to the numerous cases where guidance was ineffective. On this article:

  • You wrestled over the first line of the article to install a different theme. And it is moot that "no one ever calls her Hillary Rodham Clinton anymore" as the joke is the way she changes her presentation in response to polling).
  • Whom Hillary was named after extends comedy based on that absurd explanation of hers, to Hilary Duff: an even more absurd alternative, dumb in comparison to the former, but a valid twist.
  • "Hillary-care" versus "Hillarycare"? I don't care, and typo corrections are valid edits to a FA, but my former is easier parsed by non-native English speakers.
  • Having the encyclopedia writer write the wrong right thing before correcting himself is trite; this is not bringing the article up-to-date but installing new approaches. (I use strikethrough nearby, but only when the writer worries that he has written something racist.)
  • Adding unnecessary references to 9-11 and wars and deleting the litany of Hillary's mortification on the national stage (Summary: "the "woe is Hillary" stuff...gets boring after a while") again change the comedy emphasis. The narrative was that everything was going smoothly until Hillary herself ruined it with the Tuzla lie; you refocus on Bill and "saxophone groovez" and retell the John Edwards story incorrectly.

You seem to view this project as a personal sandbox where you can edit even FAs at will and ignore interaction with others. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:08 27-Sep-15

edit Recent UnNews

I didn't feature your UnNews:Cameron searches for Tory squealer because, except for the marvelous pun in the title and more pig humor in the finale, the absurdity is mostly provided by real life. Separately, Funnybony's UnNews:US Vital-gas company defends 5000% price increase is allegory not comedy, writing about price-gouging for air to call attention to price-gouging for medicine. (As though developing life-saving treatments were as easy as breathing, but that's a whole 'nother story.) Spıke Radiomicrophone14:43 29-Sep-15

No problem as regards the Cameron story. How can you top absurdity as regards the allegation? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:22, October 5, 2015 (UTC)

edit EpicWinner, again

The lad did a wholesale housecleaning, at the expense of some existing articles. Details on my talk page. Also countermanded CrappyUncyclopedian1111, who has been making halting efforts to improve James T. Kirk to the extent of his ability. Spıke Radiomicrophone22:32 29-Sep-15

edit New meat at VFD

There are many new old crappy articles for you to vote on, and one to clear out to make way for last night's collaboration with Inciclopedia! Spıke Radiomicrophone12:19 5-Oct-15

Thanks; I will let the Poopsmith clear away the last batch before I cart off the new ones. Spıke Radiomicrophone12:56 5-Oct-15

edit Federal Emergency Management Agency

I don't see the VFH for this anywhere. It doesn't yet have enough votes (they were in August) but did it fail? Was it featured? Why doesn't it show up? Spıke Radiomicrophone17:29 12-Oct-15

It was a fail - check the link to the nomination page. Only got three votes. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:13, October 13, 2015 (UTC)

Oh, Recently Failed had not been purged since August. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:16 13-Oct-15

edit Problem with another admin

Hi, noob here. I don't know where to turn when my problem is with an admin, so I'm asking you as another admin for help. On my first day here, I signed up, read the pages for noobs, and started editing. Very shortly thereafter I was banned for 2 days, everything I contributed was reverted, there was no way for me to challenge the ban, and the reasons given, were all wrong, every one of them. I can understand artistic differences, and I can understand not getting my jokes, but I think my references just flew past this admin. I have posted to her/his talk page with no response, and on my talk page I posted my full response to each of the incorrect points and offensive commentary this admin left about me on my talk page and in the ban logs. I have tried to resolve this with that admin directly, but that can't work if she/he won't talk to me. I don't know what to do. Would you please look over my talk page and read about what happened? I would like any record of that ban cleared because I think it was absolutely wrong to ban me, and I don't want a record of a "previous ban" to bias anything that might come up in the future. The listed reason for this ban is sarcastic, offensive, and non-informative. I just came here for some fun, and I don't deserve this drama. Here are some things that admin didn't do, and continues not to do:

  • "The Admin should act with tolerance and communication if there is a possibility that the editor simply does not know how Uncyclopedia works or that he is making crappy edits."
  • "Registering as an Uncyclopedian (picking a user name) merits a presumption of good faith and a post to the new talk page rather than a ban as the first response."
  • "And if you get a ban, serve your time and then come back and see what it was all about."

If I really did something wrong with my edits, then an explanation would help, one that gave some specifics instead of "editing while under the influence" (which I wasn't) or advice to read the noob pages and how to be funny & not stupid stuff. I'm afraid to contribute anything now because maybe this admin won't understand my references again and ban me again for an even longer time as a second "offense". And I don't want to have to check with this admin to make sure she/he understands the jokes before contributing anything. Please help, or let me know where to go to resolve this. Thanks. Dcs002 (talk) 04:11, October 16, 2015 (UTC)

I am pretty sure Spike does understand your references but the only substantial edit I saw that was reverted was on the Christianity article. The actual article isn't in good shape (seems somewhat random to me) so the judgement would have been, is that improving or confusing the existing content? Regards the ban history, everyone here has been banned by an admin at some stage or other - so I wouldn't worry about that. Anyway, all users should be able to talk to each other and ask why another editor doesn't think their contribution works or not with an article. That is why it is easier to create your own article first rather than to add to existing stuff, at least to get a feel of how this site works. Then if other writers like what you are doing, they will contribute. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:33, October 16, 2015 (UTC)
Thank you for your reply. As a noob, I did not want to remove anyone's existing content. I just wanted to add a little humor where I saw it was lacking, or in need of sprucing up, and yeah, I introduced myself in a bombastic way. There were 8 reverts (everything I had posted on every page), including reverts on the Hajj page, Cerebral Islamsy, Cannibal Corpse, and the Talk:Bass guitar pages, as well as Christianity. You say all users should be able to talk to each other. That didn't happen. I was looking for a fun way to spread a few laughs because WP debates had been getting stressful. I did some stuff I thought was safe and not offensive. It's possible this site isn't for me, I dunno. I don't really want to create whole pages. I prefer to tweak things and add bits where I think they will fit nicely without disrupting the page style. I don't want to take on a whole page project and then check with others to see if it's funny enough or fits the approved funny formulas before posting it. That seems to go against the wiki spirit, and it feels confining. (Some of us come here with experience in comic writing. I have some, though not a lot.) The pages I edited were not in very good shape to begin with, and I can't see any justification for banning a noob for making those kinds of edits.
I honestly don't know what to do. I fully expect my edits to be reverted if they are lame or just no good, but am I likely to be banned again if this is my approach? Is it reasonable to expect an admin to give a warning or talk to me before banning me?
Thank you again for your reply. I hope I don't seem like I'm arguing with you. That's not my intention at all. I just want to make sure you know what happened, and I need to know if this is likely to be a fun place for me to share a few laughs without having to watch over my shoulder. That kinda takes the fun out of it. Dcs002 (talk) 03:38, October 20, 2015 (UTC)
The process we have here is Adoption. A new user (noob) can be assigned to an established user (like me since 2008) which means that future edits can be referred to for advice as to whether they fit or add to the existing confusion. With 30,000 + articles here, that can be a lot. So if you want me to adopt you, leave a message here. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:41, October 21, 2015 (UTC)

edit Golden relationships

Hi Rom, think there needs to be an UnNews on the China/UK thing, but struggling for an angle. I can close the piece with listing all the "relationships" (Special:US, Awkward:Germany Sexual:Sweden or Brazil etc.) but really want to avoid being polemic. Something will come up, but do you have any ideas?  EStop Easy button 09:32, October 21, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, I have been thinking about this too. China's revenge for the Opium Wars? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:57, October 21, 2015 (UTC)

edit Holy Roman Empire

Hi Rom, you still in there? If not I'll add the VFH tag.  EStop Easy button 09:42, October 28, 2015 (UTC)

OK. I can do it. I am still around. I will also read through the article to check for typos, clumsy grammar and literal obscurity. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:46, October 28, 2015 (UTC)

Typos, clumsy grammar and literal obscurity (and wanton apostrophe abuse) are my greatest strengths you know.  EStop Easy button 09:50, October 28, 2015 (UTC)

edit Marine Le Pen

DylanMcKaneWiki was back last night, deleting a photo you had added (I reverted) and then adding several more paragraphs of invective. I consider them unfunny, but I consider the whole article unfunny. As always, communicating with him is a waste of time, and I wouldn't mind adding to his lengthy ban resumé. Please review. Spıke Radiomicrophone13:03 28-Oct-15

Ok. I saw the edits. Tends to be more abuse than humour but I don't know why he declines to talk to us. I will hold off a ban as this article is largely his creation anyway. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:05, October 28, 2015 (UTC)

edit Guess My Arsehole!

I've turned this around to lead with Call My Muff, which is closer to the real world, and think the page should wind up at Call My Bluff with {{Title}} to use the fake name once the reader gets inside. Spıke Radiomicrophone11:18 29-Oct-15

PS--Does the section now entitled Notorious quotations contain enough relevance to real personalities and cleverness, or is it just another infamous case of bickering quotations? Spıke Radiomicrophone11:28 29-Oct-15

If we save the article as now "Call My Muff", I can carry on working through it and deal with the 'Guess My Arsehole' within in the same story. I will also add a few different photos. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:32, October 29, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, that's how it sits now, but ultimately it should Move to Call My Bluff, which is the name a reader will type. Spıke Radiomicrophone11:36 29-Oct-15

edit Vatican City

Avignon? Champignon? Why did you undo my word-play for the truth? Perhaps the Bishops returned from Capistrano? Spıke Radiomicrophone14:29 12-Nov-15

Oh I thought that was something there before - 1337 being an internet meme. You can revert of course. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:56, November 13, 2015 (UTC)

No, I had changed the date to 1337 as well. Spıke Radiomicrophone12:40 13-Nov-15

edit Hurricane

Hi Rom, just to let you know User:EpicWinner has asked if he can edit Hurricane for a copy-edit, I said that is fine.  EStop Easy button 20:29, November 19, 2015 (UTC)

edit FA's

I was just thinking about that! So what do we do if in a situation where there are no 5 votes? Is it the next lowest (and take your pick if there is a tie), or do you look for a higher score in the recently failed? I'll put a post around the active users to get some votes cast now.  EStop Easy button 10:17, November 22, 2015 (UTC)

I was filling in the gaps by looking at older articles that had failed to get the number of votes when you needed 10 or more votes in favour. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:19, November 22, 2015 (UTC)
Okay.  EStop Easy button 10:42, November 22, 2015 (UTC)

edit VFH ballots

ConCass2 complains to me that he can't edit VFH ballots. It seems he began with the ballot on Fahrenheit 451, which is protected. The article is in Uncyclopedia:At A Glance, which gives cascaded protection to all its pages. I don't know how Chunkles was able to add his comments. 14:48

PS--Fixed by removing cascading protection. At A Glance is nothing but a dashboard of website activity, including ballots. Cascading protection had the effect of putting the three ballots most recently voted on off-limits to anyone but Admins. This has been the case since March 2011 (by Dr. Skullthumper). Spıke Radiomicrophone17:12 22-Nov-15

Probably an anti-vandal thing at the time. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:42, November 22, 2015 (UTC)

Surely; only the cascading thing makes no sense. Spıke Radiomicrophone21:34 22-Nov-15

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