User talk:Romartus/Archive19

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Praise, moanings and Indifference below

First Shabidoo and now here. It's like a disease!                               Puppy's talk page09:44 29 Oct 2013

Ah Pup! I am looking to see which template I need to access to add the buttons on VFH and VFD. Do you know which ones they are? I usually find these through a lot of trial and error since as I have always said, I am no techie! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:51, October 29, 2013 (UTC)

Now that your talk page is clean as a fourteen-year-old babies butt (she told me she was 19 officer!) may I ask of you a favor? Please nom two or three of your finished pages for feature. I never know which ones you consider almost complete (a nom usually gets me polishing my own page), and when I used to nom them you would exhort "No, no, it is not done." But we do need most of your classics in the feature vault, and there are few too many as of now. Thanks. Aleister (who is waiting for Romartus to nom his pages so he could vote AgainstGreen Slightly Against. over and over again)

What Al said, and I can't remember the relevant pages off the top of my head. I'll get back to you when it comes back to me.                               Puppy's talk page02:37 29 Oct 2013

Push present

(Continuing from the archived page) — Thank you! that is exactly what it needed. However, your Kardashian digression was better replacing my nod to the mass media (retaining my note that the reader's pregnant wife will expect a Kardashian-class gift). Also, I struck your final digression, as I thought that "pull present" was a better ending. Spıke Ѧ 14:55 29-Oct-13

A pull present is a happy ending?                               Puppy's talk page03:05 29 Oct 2013
In context...compared to the alternatives.... Spıke Ѧ 15:08 29-Oct-13
Preggo Man would know. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:58, October 29, 2013 (UTC)


When I saw you weren't coming back for awhile I put my newest UnNews on the main page, so please take it away if you don't like it or hate it or it's greasy. As for your feature nom, put more of your pages on. Three or four or five. Seriously, we should have your semi-finished pages in the feature collection (and I know it makes you polish them when they're up for nom, I do that too, and also when I'm imagining or feeling people read them when they are featured.) Aleister Devil's Night 2013

that's ok for UnNews . I think I can trust you! I will check regards other works? Just got to remember their titles! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:09, October 30, 2013 (UTC)
I refreshed the Front Page with this in the 1-spot, as Romartus and I both wrote UnNewses about the US government spying which were fun to give side-by-side treatment. Spıke Ѧ 21:12 30-Oct-13
Thanks Spike! I'm glad you liked it. It asks the question "how long does it take before it's not called graverobbing anymore?" Ancient man, sure, dig him and his stuff up and stick it in museums. More recent man, not so much. And for Romartus, why aren't people digging up the Roman emperors and putting their stuff on display? Double standard for the poor pharaohs and their relatives. Aleister Halloween eve '13

The UnNews Front Page

  • I've removed the Horoscope from the Front Page. It was much longer than its counterparts beside it and was last worked on by Zim ulator this summer. I have reverted this space to contain to the list of recent audios, which is up-to-date as of right now. I have also edited the templates so it's no longer necessary for any future updaters to include statistics (length of the recording or, formerly, the size in megabytes), hoping to encourage people to keep it current.
  • Now, on the masthead:
    • The Emmanuel Goldsmith Award for audios was retired in the push in 2011 to get all remaining hints of me out of Uncyclopedia. Thus, it should not be on the masthead, especially as we don't have anyone interested in turning the gears to crank new awards out. (If you disagree, I am always eager to receive another of them.)
    • (The Foolitzer could conceivably be awarded in the future.)
    • The "Call Us" link should go away, unless you would like to actually try those phone numbers and see who answers. (Jenny's was just voted for deletion.)
    • The "Ask HAL 9000" link does nothing that your recent edit to the sidebar doesn't do. It is also unclear why one joke page having little to do with UnNews needs a permanent link from the Front Page.
    • "Indexes" is a link to my splashy organization of articles in 2011 that was decisively overturned and misunderstood so completely as to have only the hint that it "sucks balls." It is not relevant to the current UnNews.
    • And "Chat" gets you efficiently over to a competing website.

I can do all of the above but wanted to see if you had reasons not to. Spıke Ѧ 22:15 30-Oct-13

don't see a problem with those modifications. Regards the 'chat' link, we can either remove it entirely or make it a link to another user's page most associated with the split. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:59, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Spell check

Mr. Romartus man guy! Was the spell check thing Chief talked about a joke? Or is there actually a spellchecker? --ShabiDOO 18:58, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Not that I have seen one...I think that was a yolk. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:08, October 31, 2013 (UTC)
Hard or runny? --ShabiDOO 19:48, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

I don't know who these guys are, but Anon revised this article today and some of his changes are unambiguously good. Some are potty-mouthed, and as Anon's summary says his goal is to make the article less "shite," they might be British, and you might know if all the obscenities are "in the style of the thing they're about" or are something other than vandalism. Spıke Ѧ 20:07 31-Oct-13

Had a quick scan through. Using the word 'shite' suggests they are Brit edits. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:42, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

UnNews:Britain allows cameras in courtrooms

LBC 1152 is discussing a decision to allow cameras of British court proceedings. I paraphrase John Godfrey Saxe on my user page that two things one may benefit from but doesn't want to see being made are British jurisprudence and haggis. It may be time for one of your World Enquirer UnNewses, and not short-and-sweet but pursuing all the implications of this development, such as its effect on the pending domestic-abuse case on Chris Rock, who will be especially comfortable in front of the camera. Spıke Ѧ 21:45 31-Oct-13

I think the first time since the Jack the Ripper trial I believe. Cameras were sneaked into court rooms (there is a famous photo of Doctor Crippen in counrt - taken by a photographer with a hidden camera) but after that it became a criminal offence with five years hard labour and transportation to Tasmania after sentence was served. Ok, let me play around with the idea. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:53, October 31, 2013 (UTC)
Transportation to Tasmania is still a valid threat.                               Puppy's talk page10:56 31 Oct 2013
Stupid idea. It will force lawyers, judges and juries to appear good for TV instead of giving a proper verdict. It will reveal the identity of the juries to the public thus allowing them to become targets. You can sit in the public gallery if you want to see a trial we are after all a free country but let us rule out the factors of embarrasement and prejudice from courts. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:22, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
Different coloured wigs for example? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:25, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
Think scripted reality shows with a dose of drama or two. I've seen enough TV Small Claims court drama.-- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 19:00, November 1, 2013 (UTC)

It's ready. Spıke Ѧ 13:55 4-Nov-13

Negro Minstrel? Anyway, I think I may amend that as it looks archaic in context. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:58, November 4, 2013 (UTC)
Oh..also, it would be English (and Welsh) courts rather than Britain as Scotland has its own justice system. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:00, November 4, 2013 (UTC)
I think he was Flip Wilson. "Negro" looks archaic in context anywhere and that is why I lean heavily on it in UnNews. The context is a trial-turned-circus. However, tweak away. I've at least partly handled it now.
(After the edit-conflict:) I mention Scotland as an exception in the story. Are you relying too heavily on facts? Spıke Ѧ 16:02 4-Nov-13
Just the facts Mam...just the facts. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:12, November 4, 2013 (UTC)
Hmm, Harry Morgan (before his stint in Korea). Surely Jack Webb will present the Queen's evidence? And E.G. Marshall will represent the defendant? Spıke Ѧ 16:18 4-Nov-13

Delete reasons

Maybe I'm not the first to notice, but we have a lot of delete reasons at MediaWiki:Deletereason-dropdown, a lot of which are seldom used, making the ones that are actually useful harder to quickly find and use. Thought I might run the idea of chopping it down a bit, past you (presumably SPIKE and Sims will see this) because I for one wouldn't mind seeing it chopped in half. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 04:53, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

SPIKE already cut down the list some; which reasons would you remove? I have used most of the remaining reasons at one point or another. The other thing that has already been done is putting the most commonly used items so that they appear first in the list. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 07:07, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
An example is how there is 3 delete reasons for vanity and 3 for articles that are just terrible. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 07:34, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
But there are none for Written by Aleister. This is a grave oversight.                               Puppy's talk page08:06 07 Nov 2013
Ha!, you are thinking of HowTo:Get a suntan, which you tried to smother in its bed (and don't I know something about that!). It lives! It lives! Aleister 8-11
Simsie and I have both massaged this further based on Frosty's comment. Spıke Ѧ 12:55 8-Nov-13


Bold idea. I thought I'd go back and look at the beginning, and came up with a blank. Literally. If you visit are you getting any content showing? Are you able to get into the “edit” to grab text?                               Puppy's talk page12:35 08 Nov 2013

If you go to the talk page you see the revisions and when you come back out, the article is there. Hmmm. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:40, November 8, 2013 (UTC)
I saw Romartus working on a novice version of this and thought I'd continue mincing words in the real thing. Perhaps this was a brand-new form of Edit Conflict. Spıke Ѧ 12:53 8-Nov-13
The link above (oldid=38213) is a version from 2005. Not surprising that it is smaller. Perhaps this is a version for Dummies? Spıke Ѧ 12:54 8-Nov-13
I'm getting no content showing at all.                               Puppy's talk page01:04 08 Nov 2013
Me neither. It strikes me that MediaWiki re-creates an old version by taking the current version and un-editing it according to the diffs that are stored in the history. (You've seen these by downloading page-plus-history.) My best guess is that the oldest history is currently off-line. Spıke Ѧ 13:10 8-Nov-13

We could make a quantum leap toward making HTBFANJS more reader-friendly by removing the large dollop of self-congratulation in the Intro.

  • Initial quotations: Two Wildeisms and a masturbation joke?
  • The page has a shortcut, so it needs a "long cut," and it needs to be absurdly long?
  • Starting out with a box jauntily telling the reader how to interpret what he hasn't read yet?
  • Another box with "text...considered too serious"?

A true noob has tuned out before he has read anything! OK to proceed? Spıke Ѧ 13:14 8-Nov-13

I have made a subpage we can practise on. I agree that it needs to cut out the self regarding stuff and get down to the nitty-gritty...or just the nits--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:14, November 8, 2013 (UTC)

I reverted your new paragraph on choice of regional English in HTBFANJS, as we already added a new paragraph to cover it in Sec. 4 of the page. If your inclusion of NerdSpeak was not just levity, it fights with text Simsie added just before yours that readers should not use Chatspeak. (Unless there is a comedy point; that is implicit.) Spıke Ѧ 23:08 10-Nov-13

OK No problem regards reverting my additional paragraph. On a different point, the idea of Unc being a parody of Wikipedia - how would we describe UnScripts, UnPoetica and UnBooks? The Wikipedia rules don't quite follow in those sections which is an advantage for those writers who prefer to spin off on an idea, rather to write parodies and such like. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:03, November 11, 2013 (UTC)

Mentioned some alternate namespaces in passing in Section 1; not in terms of having separate style rules but only in not having to follow the encyclopedia "frame." Spıke Ѧ 09:34 11-Nov-13

Uncyclopedia:Projects goes into a bit more depth about that area, and it relates back to the “frame” concept in HTBFANJS. I'd suggest a link from the latter to the former would address that, without getting too bogged down in detail. Having said that, the former probably could do with a spit and polish as well, especially given it's linked to from the sidebar.                               Puppy's talk page10:11 11 Nov 2013
The link is now in. Spıke Ѧ 10:13 11-Nov-13


My name is tomer, i am from the hebrew uncyclopedia and i am here for a diplomatic agreement, or in other word i am looking for translatble articles and i can translate articles from the hebrew wiki to the english wiki also. so... will you sign here ____, here____ and here _____? Mctomerd11 (talk) 14:00, November 16, 2013 (UTC)

I suggest you put this to a forum so that others can see the request. Exchanging articles between wikis (at least Uncyclopedia ones) has gone on before but must have full attribution so we can know the source. Usually it is the writer or writers behind the article who want to do this. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:58, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
Ok so where can i post this? Israel is here! Daemon Israel 15:48, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
Your user name is all you need to import articles here, except perhaps proofreading help, as we use capital letters on this wiki. Anyone is free to export articles from this website, too, for any non-commercial use provided you say (for example, in the Change History or on the talk page) that you got it from here. It's done all the time, notably by the French version, and doesn't require a group discussion. Just make sure the stuff you put here will be funny to the average reader in the English-speaking world; for example, articles on Israeli politics will need to be sprinkled with hints for those not in the know. Spıke Ѧ 16:06 16-Nov-13
Of course... i thought about the article Rabbis online but i see you already have something similar so i will translate the article Borax with the help of the user who wrote the article. Israel is here! Daemon Israel 16:52, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
I accidently called the article Borax but i will change it into Börek later Israel is here! Daemon Israel 17:08, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
I gave this one a push in several new directions. Please leave its name as Borax. Borax is a mineral, also a brand name of a (not very current) household cleaner, whereas few people in America will look up Börek. If you disagree, you might create a redirect at Börek. Spıke Ѧ 21:44 16-Nov-13
alright, i didnt even know what is Borax. The article in Hebrew is very large but me and Amit will try to translate all of it, and if you can please check for spelling mistakes because English is not an official language in Israel. Israel is here! Daemon Israel 22:56, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
A long time user and retired admin Mordillo who is from Israel may be interested in this to too. I will drop him an email. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:21, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
Ok, sorry i couldn't work on it today (10 hours at school than SLEEP ZZZ). Israel is here! Daemon Israel 17:07, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
God damn, more pesky Jews coming to bring down the house. Go back to Jewland or something. Also, Shalom Chaver. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:33, November 18, 2013 (UTC)


In UnNews:HeadOn Manufacturer issues Vaigra challenge, in fact, you replaced the caption; you didn't replace the photo! Spıke Ѧ 18:41 14-Nov-13

Google Planet, on VFD, claims it was quasi-featured, but neither ScottPat nor I can find any evidence of it; can you? Spıke Ѧ 14:16 18-Nov-13

I don't recall seeing on the quasi feature list. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:18, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
Then this must be an author prank (especially given the claimed vote of two-to-one against). I'll remove the false claim and we can vote on its merits. Spıke Ѧ 14:29 18-Nov-13
Bleargh! According to User:Bradaphraser/QFHPlanet Google 04/25/06 X 6.5 12 6 3 0.54167”. VFH moms were done differently back then, so there is no individual page for it (so the template won't display it), and the archives only show the successful nominations (which I think was Banana Skin Joke. It could be genuine, but would take digging through page histories to locate it.                               Puppy's talk page09:41 pm 18 Nov 2013


...for checking on that stuff. On the signature thing, I did not know that the policy had changed in '11, when someone wrote that "have to know the time" policy into the signature page. Nobody ever told me, or complained about it, until now. I like to play with the sig and time, and I don't have any idea why other people don't do that while playing on talk pages. So hopefully the words of the policy won't change that much. Thanks again! Aleister 00:25 19/11/13

Many of us do; mine is in the style of old Digital Equipment Corporation computers. The only point is that one be able to tell from the timestamp what the time was. Thanks for your understanding. Spıke Ѧ 00:30 19-Nov-13
You're very welcome. None of the stuff you thought was about you was, I just didn't know the policy had changed in 2011. As for the other thing, some asshole punked both me and you on your talk page, so fuck him, and his mother, and his little dog Toto too. Something else coming in a few minutes - I wrote that Unnews! And I think it's good, and I hope you at least give it a reading and hopefully either like it or don't mind it very much. You understand it has to be posted for the integrity of satire writing, and is nothing against you. Well, please read it, and I think you'll like how it ends. Thanks. Aleister 00:40 1911'13 if you must know
Yup, virtuoso, and got a damned fine reaction out of Shabidoo as well. I appreciate knowing that the UnNews will be nothing personal, though in my opinion it is not about the integrity of anything but about tweaking Sannse's nose on her crusade against photos of naked Iraqis. Nevertheless, go wild.
PS--Fucking Edit Conflict so you can play with the timestamp.... Spıke Ѧ 00:55 19-Nov-13
Policy was changed in response to my old timestamp that gave relative time, although one of the older versions of UN:SIG (when I first signed up) also asked for time stamp, so it has changed over time.                               Puppy's talk page04:31 am 19 Nov 2013 NB: Time is relative to the speed the the observer, so timestamp may be innacurate if moving at near light speed.
Pies in our time --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:25, November 19, 2013 (UTC)
Piss in our overtime. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:45, November 19, 2013 (UTC)
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