User talk:Romartus/Archive19

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DavidCameron001


edit Praise, moanings and Indifference below

First Shabidoo and now here. It's like a disease!                               Puppy's talk page09:44 29 Oct 2013

Ah Pup! I am looking to see which template I need to access to add the buttons on VFH and VFD. Do you know which ones they are? I usually find these through a lot of trial and error since as I have always said, I am no techie! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:51, October 29, 2013 (UTC)

Now that your talk page is clean as a fourteen-year-old babies butt (she told me she was 19 officer!) may I ask of you a favor? Please nom two or three of your finished pages for feature. I never know which ones you consider almost complete (a nom usually gets me polishing my own page), and when I used to nom them you would exhort "No, no, it is not done." But we do need most of your classics in the feature vault, and there are few too many as of now. Thanks. Aleister (who is waiting for Romartus to nom his pages so he could vote AgainstGreen Slightly Against. over and over again)

What Al said, and I can't remember the relevant pages off the top of my head. I'll get back to you when it comes back to me.                               Puppy's talk page02:37 29 Oct 2013

edit Push present

(Continuing from the archived page) — Thank you! that is exactly what it needed. However, your Kardashian digression was better replacing my nod to the mass media (retaining my note that the reader's pregnant wife will expect a Kardashian-class gift). Also, I struck your final digression, as I thought that "pull present" was a better ending. Spıke ¬ 14:55 29-Oct-13

A pull present is a happy ending?                               Puppy's talk page03:05 29 Oct 2013
In context...compared to the alternatives.... Spıke ¬ 15:08 29-Oct-13
Preggo Man would know. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:58, October 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnNews

When I saw you weren't coming back for awhile I put my newest UnNews on the main page, so please take it away if you don't like it or hate it or it's greasy. As for your feature nom, put more of your pages on. Three or four or five. Seriously, we should have your semi-finished pages in the feature collection (and I know it makes you polish them when they're up for nom, I do that too, and also when I'm imagining or feeling people read them when they are featured.) Aleister Devil's Night 2013

that's ok for UnNews . I think I can trust you! I will check regards other works? Just got to remember their titles! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:09, October 30, 2013 (UTC)
I refreshed the Front Page with this in the 1-spot, as Romartus and I both wrote UnNewses about the US government spying which were fun to give side-by-side treatment. Spıke ¬ 21:12 30-Oct-13
Thanks Spike! I'm glad you liked it. It asks the question "how long does it take before it's not called graverobbing anymore?" Ancient man, sure, dig him and his stuff up and stick it in museums. More recent man, not so much. And for Romartus, why aren't people digging up the Roman emperors and putting their stuff on display? Double standard for the poor pharaohs and their relatives. Aleister Halloween eve '13

edit The UnNews Front Page

  • I've removed the Horoscope from the Front Page. It was much longer than its counterparts beside it and was last worked on by Zim ulator this summer. I have reverted this space to contain to the list of recent audios, which is up-to-date as of right now. I have also edited the templates so it's no longer necessary for any future updaters to include statistics (length of the recording or, formerly, the size in megabytes), hoping to encourage people to keep it current.
  • Now, on the masthead:
    • The Emmanuel Goldsmith Award for audios was retired in the push in 2011 to get all remaining hints of me out of Uncyclopedia. Thus, it should not be on the masthead, especially as we don't have anyone interested in turning the gears to crank new awards out. (If you disagree, I am always eager to receive another of them.)
    • (The Foolitzer could conceivably be awarded in the future.)
    • The "Call Us" link should go away, unless you would like to actually try those phone numbers and see who answers. (Jenny's was just voted for deletion.)
    • The "Ask HAL 9000" link does nothing that your recent edit to the sidebar doesn't do. It is also unclear why one joke page having little to do with UnNews needs a permanent link from the Front Page.
    • "Indexes" is a link to my splashy organization of articles in 2011 that was decisively overturned and misunderstood so completely as to have only the hint that it "sucks balls." It is not relevant to the current UnNews.
    • And "Chat" gets you efficiently over to a competing website.

I can do all of the above but wanted to see if you had reasons not to. Spıke ¬ 22:15 30-Oct-13

don't see a problem with those modifications. Regards the 'chat' link, we can either remove it entirely or make it a link to another user's page most associated with the split. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:59, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

edit Spell check

Mr. Romartus man guy! Was the spell check thing Chief talked about a joke? Or is there actually a spellchecker? --ShabiDOO 18:58, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Not that I have seen one...I think that was a yolk. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:08, October 31, 2013 (UTC)
Hard or runny? --ShabiDOO 19:48, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

edit Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

I don't know who these guys are, but Anon revised this article today and some of his changes are unambiguously good. Some are potty-mouthed, and as Anon's summary says his goal is to make the article less "shite," they might be British, and you might know if all the obscenities are "in the style of the thing they're about" or are something other than vandalism. Spıke ¬ 20:07 31-Oct-13

Had a quick scan through. Using the word 'shite' suggests they are Brit edits. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:42, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Britain allows cameras in courtrooms

LBC 1152 is discussing a decision to allow cameras of British court proceedings. I paraphrase John Godfrey Saxe on my user page that two things one may benefit from but doesn't want to see being made are British jurisprudence and haggis. It may be time for one of your World Enquirer UnNewses, and not short-and-sweet but pursuing all the implications of this development, such as its effect on the pending domestic-abuse case on Chris Rock, who will be especially comfortable in front of the camera. Spıke ¬ 21:45 31-Oct-13

I think the first time since the Jack the Ripper trial I believe. Cameras were sneaked into court rooms (there is a famous photo of Doctor Crippen in counrt - taken by a photographer with a hidden camera) but after that it became a criminal offence with five years hard labour and transportation to Tasmania after sentence was served. Ok, let me play around with the idea. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:53, October 31, 2013 (UTC)
Transportation to Tasmania is still a valid threat.                               Puppy's talk page10:56 31 Oct 2013
Stupid idea. It will force lawyers, judges and juries to appear good for TV instead of giving a proper verdict. It will reveal the identity of the juries to the public thus allowing them to become targets. You can sit in the public gallery if you want to see a trial we are after all a free country but let us rule out the factors of embarrasement and prejudice from courts. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:22, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
Different coloured wigs for example? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:25, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
Think scripted reality shows with a dose of drama or two. I've seen enough TV Small Claims court drama.-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:00, November 1, 2013 (UTC)

It's ready. Spıke ¬ 13:55 4-Nov-13

Negro Minstrel? Anyway, I think I may amend that as it looks archaic in context. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:58, November 4, 2013 (UTC)
Oh..also, it would be English (and Welsh) courts rather than Britain as Scotland has its own justice system. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:00, November 4, 2013 (UTC)
I think he was Flip Wilson. "Negro" looks archaic in context anywhere and that is why I lean heavily on it in UnNews. The context is a trial-turned-circus. However, tweak away. I've at least partly handled it now.
(After the edit-conflict:) I mention Scotland as an exception in the story. Are you relying too heavily on facts? Spıke ¬ 16:02 4-Nov-13
Just the facts Mam...just the facts. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:12, November 4, 2013 (UTC)
Hmm, Harry Morgan (before his stint in Korea). Surely Jack Webb will present the Queen's evidence? And E.G. Marshall will represent the defendant? Spıke ¬ 16:18 4-Nov-13

edit Delete reasons

Maybe I'm not the first to notice, but we have a lot of delete reasons at MediaWiki:Deletereason-dropdown, a lot of which are seldom used, making the ones that are actually useful harder to quickly find and use. Thought I might run the idea of chopping it down a bit, past you (presumably SPIKE and Sims will see this) because I for one wouldn't mind seeing it chopped in half. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 04:53, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

SPIKE already cut down the list some; which reasons would you remove? I have used most of the remaining reasons at one point or another. The other thing that has already been done is putting the most commonly used items so that they appear first in the list. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 07:07, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
An example is how there is 3 delete reasons for vanity and 3 for articles that are just terrible. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 07:34, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
But there are none for Written by Aleister. This is a grave oversight.                               Puppy's talk page08:06 07 Nov 2013
Ha!, you are thinking of HowTo:Get a suntan, which you tried to smother in its bed (and don't I know something about that!). It lives! It lives! Aleister 8-11
Simsie and I have both massaged this further based on Frosty's comment. Spıke ¬ 12:55 8-Nov-13

edit HTBFANJS

Bold idea. I thought I'd go back and look at the beginning, and came up with a blank. Literally. If you visit http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Uncyclopedia:How_To_Be_Funny_And_Not_Just_Stupid?oldid=38213 are you getting any content showing? Are you able to get into the “edit” to grab text?                               Puppy's talk page12:35 08 Nov 2013

If you go to the talk page you see the revisions and when you come back out, the article is there. Hmmm. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:40, November 8, 2013 (UTC)
I saw Romartus working on a novice version of this and thought I'd continue mincing words in the real thing. Perhaps this was a brand-new form of Edit Conflict. Spıke ¬ 12:53 8-Nov-13
The link above (oldid=38213) is a version from 2005. Not surprising that it is smaller. Perhaps this is a version for Dummies? Spıke ¬ 12:54 8-Nov-13
I'm getting no content showing at all.                               Puppy's talk page01:04 08 Nov 2013
Me neither. It strikes me that MediaWiki re-creates an old version by taking the current version and un-editing it according to the diffs that are stored in the history. (You've seen these by downloading page-plus-history.) My best guess is that the oldest history is currently off-line. Spıke ¬ 13:10 8-Nov-13

We could make a quantum leap toward making HTBFANJS more reader-friendly by removing the large dollop of self-congratulation in the Intro.

  • Initial quotations: Two Wildeisms and a masturbation joke?
  • The page has a shortcut, so it needs a "long cut," and it needs to be absurdly long?
  • Starting out with a box jauntily telling the reader how to interpret what he hasn't read yet?
  • Another box with "text...considered too serious"?

A true noob has tuned out before he has read anything! OK to proceed? Spıke ¬ 13:14 8-Nov-13

I have made a subpage we can practise on. I agree that it needs to cut out the self regarding stuff and get down to the nitty-gritty...or just the nits--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:14, November 8, 2013 (UTC)

I reverted your new paragraph on choice of regional English in HTBFANJS, as we already added a new paragraph to cover it in Sec. 4 of the page. If your inclusion of NerdSpeak was not just levity, it fights with text Simsie added just before yours that readers should not use Chatspeak. (Unless there is a comedy point; that is implicit.) Spıke ¬ 23:08 10-Nov-13

OK No problem regards reverting my additional paragraph. On a different point, the idea of Unc being a parody of Wikipedia - how would we describe UnScripts, UnPoetica and UnBooks? The Wikipedia rules don't quite follow in those sections which is an advantage for those writers who prefer to spin off on an idea, rather to write parodies and such like. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:03, November 11, 2013 (UTC)

Mentioned some alternate namespaces in passing in Section 1; not in terms of having separate style rules but only in not having to follow the encyclopedia "frame." Spıke ¬ 09:34 11-Nov-13

Uncyclopedia:Projects goes into a bit more depth about that area, and it relates back to the “frame” concept in HTBFANJS. I'd suggest a link from the latter to the former would address that, without getting too bogged down in detail. Having said that, the former probably could do with a spit and polish as well, especially given it's linked to from the sidebar.                               Puppy's talk page10:11 11 Nov 2013
The link is now in. Spıke ¬ 10:13 11-Nov-13

edit Hello

My name is tomer, i am from the hebrew uncyclopedia and i am here for a diplomatic agreement, or in other word i am looking for translatble articles and i can translate articles from the hebrew wiki to the english wiki also. so... will you sign here ____, here____ and here _____? Mctomerd11 (talk) 14:00, November 16, 2013 (UTC)

I suggest you put this to a forum so that others can see the request. Exchanging articles between wikis (at least Uncyclopedia ones) has gone on before but must have full attribution so we can know the source. Usually it is the writer or writers behind the article who want to do this. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:58, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
Ok so where can i post this? Israel is here! Daemon Israel 15:48, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
Your user name is all you need to import articles here, except perhaps proofreading help, as we use capital letters on this wiki. Anyone is free to export articles from this website, too, for any non-commercial use provided you say (for example, in the Change History or on the talk page) that you got it from here. It's done all the time, notably by the French version, and doesn't require a group discussion. Just make sure the stuff you put here will be funny to the average reader in the English-speaking world; for example, articles on Israeli politics will need to be sprinkled with hints for those not in the know. Spıke ¬ 16:06 16-Nov-13
Of course... i thought about the article Rabbis online but i see you already have something similar so i will translate the article Borax with the help of the user who wrote the article. Israel is here! Daemon Israel 16:52, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
I accidently called the article Borax but i will change it into Börek later Israel is here! Daemon Israel 17:08, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
I gave this one a push in several new directions. Please leave its name as Borax. Borax is a mineral, also a brand name of a (not very current) household cleaner, whereas few people in America will look up Börek. If you disagree, you might create a redirect at Börek. Spıke ¬ 21:44 16-Nov-13
alright, i didnt even know what is Borax. The article in Hebrew is very large but me and Amit will try to translate all of it, and if you can please check for spelling mistakes because English is not an official language in Israel. Israel is here! Daemon Israel 22:56, November 16, 2013 (UTC)
A long time user and retired admin Mordillo who is from Israel may be interested in this to too. I will drop him an email. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:21, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
Ok, sorry i couldn't work on it today (10 hours at school than SLEEP ZZZ). Israel is here! Daemon Israel 17:07, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
God damn, more pesky Jews coming to bring down the house. Go back to Jewland or something. Also, Shalom Chaver. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:33, November 18, 2013 (UTC)

edit Pending

In UnNews:HeadOn Manufacturer issues Vaigra challenge, in fact, you replaced the caption; you didn't replace the photo! Spıke ¬ 18:41 14-Nov-13

Google Planet, on VFD, claims it was quasi-featured, but neither ScottPat nor I can find any evidence of it; can you? Spıke ¬ 14:16 18-Nov-13

I don't recall seeing on the quasi feature list. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:18, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
Then this must be an author prank (especially given the claimed vote of two-to-one against). I'll remove the false claim and we can vote on its merits. Spıke ¬ 14:29 18-Nov-13
Bleargh! According to User:Bradaphraser/QFHPlanet Google 04/25/06 X 6.5 12 6 3 0.54167”. VFH moms were done differently back then, so there is no individual page for it (so the template won't display it), and the archives only show the successful nominations (which I think was Banana Skin Joke. It could be genuine, but would take digging through page histories to locate it.                               Puppy's talk page09:41 pm 18 Nov 2013

edit Thanks...

...for checking on that stuff. On the signature thing, I did not know that the policy had changed in '11, when someone wrote that "have to know the time" policy into the signature page. Nobody ever told me, or complained about it, until now. I like to play with the sig and time, and I don't have any idea why other people don't do that while playing on talk pages. So hopefully the words of the policy won't change that much. Thanks again! Aleister 00:25 19/11/13

Many of us do; mine is in the style of old Digital Equipment Corporation computers. The only point is that one be able to tell from the timestamp what the time was. Thanks for your understanding. Spıke ¬ 00:30 19-Nov-13
You're very welcome. None of the stuff you thought was about you was, I just didn't know the policy had changed in 2011. As for the other thing, some asshole punked both me and you on your talk page, so fuck him, and his mother, and his little dog Toto too. Something else coming in a few minutes - I wrote that Unnews! And I think it's good, and I hope you at least give it a reading and hopefully either like it or don't mind it very much. You understand it has to be posted for the integrity of satire writing, and is nothing against you. Well, please read it, and I think you'll like how it ends. Thanks. Aleister 00:40 1911'13 if you must know
Yup, virtuoso, and got a damned fine reaction out of Shabidoo as well. I appreciate knowing that the UnNews will be nothing personal, though in my opinion it is not about the integrity of anything but about tweaking Sannse's nose on her crusade against photos of naked Iraqis. Nevertheless, go wild.
PS--Fucking Edit Conflict so you can play with the timestamp.... Spıke ¬ 00:55 19-Nov-13
Policy was changed in response to my old timestamp that gave relative time, although one of the older versions of UN:SIG (when I first signed up) also asked for time stamp, so it has changed over time.                               Puppy's talk page04:31 am 19 Nov 2013 NB: Time is relative to the speed the the observer, so timestamp may be innacurate if moving at near light speed.
Pies in our time --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:25, November 19, 2013 (UTC)
Piss in our overtime. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:45, November 19, 2013 (UTC)

edit Thanks

Thank You for thanks again! :)--Fililost (talk) 19:57, November 20, 2013 (UTC)

edit Thanks a thank thanks

Yes, and that said, thanks! for putting the Vegas unnews on the main page. I know the pics are controversial, and should be, but I have an overlytuned sense of fairness and against censorship, so when the wikia picture forum talked about getting rid of these historical photographs I at least wanted to put them on a page so they would have to be gotten rid of on their own merits and not because they weren't being used. Wikia has every right to censor them, and me was just taking another point of view. Then the page turned out pretty good, I had fun writing and polishing it, so there we are. Thanks for your patience during this. And now to dive into the Kennedy assassination "celebrations" going on around the web, Happy 50th to you and yours. Aleister 13:00 50th anniversary of that JFK killing thing (still can tell the date from that, letter of the law, which is where us almost outlaws ski)

Just read your Kennedy UnNews, nice work. By coincidence I watched a vid yesterday posted at ATS in which Oswald's mistress says they were working on a plot to kill Castro (her, Oswald, David Ferrie, and others in New Orleans). She's either a nutter, someone making money by writing a book, or she actually was Oswald's mistress and all of it was true. If you want a link I'll pop one in, the vid is something like 54 minutes long but interesting if you're into the assassination stuff. Aleister 13:19 22/11/13
Hi Al. That idea only came to me today on my way to the office. I had seen an 'anniversary programme' about the route taken that day and the mention of the car used without a roof. Using Edward Snowden as the pivot was a bit weak but couldn;t think how else this 'secret' would emerge. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:33, November 22, 2013 (UTC)
Using Snowden makes it work, a perfect leaker. Here's the link to Oswald's mistress lying in the youtube in the first post. http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread983664/pg1 She tells a tale of her and he and others in a plot to kill Castro with rapid cancer (she was a cancer specialist, even as a young girl). It's 44 minutes, but not a bad viewing, and has a slight ring of truth even though she's gone on and written a book. Her tale was told on the History Channel, where the vid came from, quite awhile ago. Aleister 16:36 22==11//13

edit UnNews:Saatchi Gallery displays new art work

Would you settle a grammar debate Leverage and I are having on the talk page? Spıke ¬ 22:50 28-Nov-13

edit Zerromus

New Uncyclopedian Zerromus has added to three articles British and I will leave it to you to decide if the new material fits. Spıke ¬ 10:00 30-Nov-13

Thanks Spike. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:06, November 30, 2013 (UTC)

No, not the one you looked at...the three by Zerromus: Falklands War, Maggie Thatcher, and Gordon Brown. Separately, he created a new page about nothing, which I userspaced with an explanation. It looked like the first installment of a personal story-arc. Spıke ¬ 22:53 30-Nov-13

Falklands War is still ambiguous; if you have looked at the guy's edits and decided they were sensible, please mark them Patrolled. Spıke ¬ 14:45 1-Dec-13

It's marginal but I have let it stand in the article. There are certainly a lot of sheep on the Falklands. Now patrolled as requested. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:32, December 1, 2013 (UTC)

edit Cleopatra

Hey, now some idiot has nommed it here. Aspwipes. I don't know if you've done an editing sweep on this one or not, so giving you a cobra's heads up on Cairo's six-sided bridge of snakes. Aleister 19:29 1-12-13

edit Selfie

Thanks for noticing I carried forward your UnNews on the Saatchi "selfie" into an article, and providing some of your historical expertise to make it less stubby. I have lightly post-edited it. Spıke ¬ 22:38 1-Dec-13

I had made some notes on this idea last week so it was simple to drop that idea in there.--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:49, December 1, 2013 (UTC)

edit King Biscuit

As you are our go-to man on the Royal Family, perhaps you can add to this. Spıke ¬ 10:14 2-Dec-13

I thought the wikipedia link was a broken re-direct! Ok, let me have a think about this. I have no idea who this guy was. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:17, December 2, 2013 (UTC)

Then never mind. I listened in a few times and was always baffled that the presenter was not, and never claimed to be, the title character. The article's only claim to fame is to mistake him for a member of the British royalty. Spıke ¬ 14:52 2-Dec-13

edit Bernie Madoff

Thank you for the kind words on my Bernie Madoff article.

I used to write for Ubersite a lot, back when that site wasn't full of morons. I hope my style can contribute here instead. 82.20.123.210 12:32, December 12, 2013 (UTC)

Yes, I thought it was a good start from someone who is used to writing and formatting correctly. At least the article wasn't about some computer game I hadn't heard of! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:50, December 12, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnBooks:A Post Apocalyptic Journal‎‎

Would you please decide whether the unpatrolled edits to this article from 20-Dec are a stream-of-consciousness rant that doesn't fit, or one that does fit?

Also, I have begun Teutonic Knights but you might be more able to continue it. Spıke ¬ 01:32 23-Dec-13

edit The current header

Hi Romartus. Happy son of the man in the sky day eve by the way. Could you please consider changing unwanted edits to questionable edits in the header or even making a positive header instead? It seems rather uninviting to new users. It can be taken the wrong way (unwanted edits could be taken as any edits from new users). Especially when linked ironically to admin page whose first sentence talks about banning deleting and mayhem. If I was a new writer id find it rather intimidating/off-putting. It's sort of a warning against certain editing (without explaining what edits are welcome) instead of encouraging good constructive editing. It also could very well feed the trolls" perhaps. --ShabiDOO

Hi Shabidoo. I take your point. I will 'have a tinker' on the header. BTW, you aren't timing your sig? Meant I had to go to page history to see when you dropped by. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:27, December 23, 2013 (UTC)
I must have been time distracted by the temporal gremlins from Zorgzorg. Randumbo is a helarious substitute btw. Cheers. --ShabiDOO 18:51, December 23, 2013 (UTC)

edit Template

Hi Romartus. The template "Awardpage" template needs updating. The lime light section needs the years 2012 and 2013 and a few tweaks also need to be made with things that no longer exist. Happy son of man in the sky day eve eve. --ShabiDOO 03:24, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the reminder. Done. Regards the categories that have somewhat died-the-death, I think that requires a separate forum to discuss them (as indeed I saw done over at the 'other place'.) --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:36, December 24, 2013 (UTC)
Shabidoo: Do you mean happy Festivus? (Refering to yesterday). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:16, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

edit Gibraltar

Yes there has been a lot happening since August. We had a visit by the EU inspection team to see the border queues, but the Spanish took them for a fish lunch and they missed them. Gibraltar was admitted to UEFA so we +could+ win something. And I only check in here now and again because I'm too busy with the money laundering and smuggling. --Harpic (talk) 19:59, December 25, 2013 (UTC)

I see. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:14, December 26, 2013 (UTC)
Jolly good! --ShabiDOO 10:37, December 26, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Pope to marry as Vatican supports gay marriage

Old headline was better — You have "marry" in the headline twice now! Spıke ¬ 14:07 30-Dec-13

Ah..there was a spelling mistake in the first version. OK, I will rename it again. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:09, December 30, 2013 (UTC)

One-pulse word good. Spıke ¬ 14:31 30-Dec-13

edit Schumacher's skiing accident

I noticed Uncyclopedia is trying to out scoop Wiki regards Michael Schumacher. The Obit is in already! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:47, December 30, 2013 (UTC)

The nice thing about a humor wiki is that you don't have to stand on ceremony and wait for an actual death certificate. Spıke ¬ 14:53 30-Dec-13

Poor Schumy. The first thing I saw when I logged on this morning was this UnNews headline and it made me burst into laughter. Great article Romartus, well done. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:14, December 31, 2013 (UTC)
After note: I was refering to the Pope headline here. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:09, January 1, 2014 (UTC)
Indeed, poor Schumy. See how he progresses. SPIKE got the obituary in already. Now, have you looked out of the window? Are hordes of Bulgarians and Romanians flooding into your street? Happy New Year for 2014! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:35, December 31, 2013 (UTC)

Give the credit to Anon, whom I just post-edited. I had to consult Wikipedia just to know who the guy was. Spıke ¬ 23:47 31-Dec-13

The weird thing about the immigrant scare is that the only people complaining about the Romanians and Bulgarians are the people who are never likely to come in contact with them when they come over (unless they wonder into the wild, rural depths of Sussex and Surrey!) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:09, January 1, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews Templates

For simplicity, I've renamed

I think we're the only two people who touch them. Spıke ¬ 00:57 2-Jan-14

PS--I also updated the Olipro-era instructions (in {{Lead article doc}}) and have {{Lead articles}} call them for typeset instructions, rather than have instructions in-line (a Mattsnow approach, I think). Spıke ¬ 01:21 2-Jan-14

Thanks Spike. HNY 2014! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 06:47, January 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit DON'T PANIC

Sorry to bother you but there's a mistake on the front page of the website that may cause annoyance: "France is divided nto over 100 departments." I presume that it should be "into." Just thought I'd point that out. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:34, January 2, 2014 (UTC)

Fixed (sorry for not checking earlier). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:29, January 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit Harlow

It's neat that several of us gave JerryJellyson some feedback. Our last two arrivals I have welcomed by nomination at VFH. This one is less compelling, as it still leans heavily on newbie themes of ethnic conflict and class-war. What do you think? Spıke ¬ 22:57 2-Jan-14

It is a breezy read! The Polish section is quite mild and obviously absurd so I am ok with that. One thing I did notice is the two names at the very end leading rival gangs. I don't know who these people could be so may be worth asking the writer. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:15, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

edit I have a question?

So I came here and I saw this thing called VFH, which I guessed was for honoring really good articles, like FAC over at Wikipedia. And I thought "cool", so I voted on a few articles, two or three, I think -- I voted "no" on all of them, because I thought they stunk. Anyway, there was this one article (Paraguay) which I voted against, but when I went back and read it again, I thought better of it, so I changed my vote, and then went to do cleanup on it. I spent about three hours doing sweep-up and improving sentence flow and layout and stuff, and I even added a redirect (to Prison) so that this one joke would work better. But then some guy named SPIKE came along and deleted everything I did, and banned me for three days! And at first he wouldn't tell me what I did wrong, but now he says... he found my edits poor and... something about my "pals" are "manufacturing a case" against him... I don't understand; is he joking or something? I can't tell if he's being serious. I checked the criteria for bans at Uncyclopedia:Ban Policy, and I also checked the Help page, but I can't understand why I was banned... I thought if you didn't like somebody's edits you could just change them back? I'm sorry if I'm bothering you or anything, but I found your name on the active admins page, and I don't know who else I should ask. Can you help me? 185.25.253.24 16:05, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

I cleaned up another article (Bernie Madoff) and he deleted my edits there, too! And he deleted my votes! And I can't ask on his talk page for some reason... Are new users I not allowed to vote for things? 185.25.253.24 16:27, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
I am at a loss to understand what he's talking about; he banned me from editing his talk page, and then he said something about vote-flipping (?) to "make a rhetorical point"... I don't know what's going on. Are you guys having me on? 185.25.253.24 16:32, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
Hi! I think you have to wait a bit. Romartus will come and respond. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:15, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
Looks like you logged in without putting your user name in which is why it looked like an anon ip edit as regards Bernie Madoff. Spike just reverted to that to the previous author's work. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:20, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
...I don't understand, I have to log in or my edits don't count? 185.25.253.24 17:25, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
No your edits do count. I'm afraid we've had a recent attack of vandals using interchangeable IPs so our admins are a bit on edge and may be over-reacting. However I think in your case Spike has assesed your comedy and found it not to be up to a high enough quality. You also made a double redirect which is not helpful. I am sorry for inconvenience caused. Please try editing again and I will assess your edits to see if they meet the quality of humour we want. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:36, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
But is SPIKE serious about... Is he really the site-owner? I didn't know... I thought this place belonged to Wikipedia or something... Does he work for Wikipedia? 185.25.253.24 17:41, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
I show no edit of yours of Bernie Madoff. If you are dealing with us in good faith, it would be damned helpful if you did pick a user name, rather than using multiple IPs, and thereby pick a password so we know whom we are dealing with. I am inclined to believe that the person who edited Paraguay and then voted against it is the same person who flipped the vote to For to make a wry comment against the website. And I am inclined to believe that you are the same person as several other IPs and one recently banned user who is trying to play innocent and set out a case against me. This is an example of the ambiguity that would be cleared up if you did not operate as Anon. Spıke ¬ 17:43 3-Jan-14
Ok, um... I really really don't know what's going on, or what you mean by Anon... I'm not "Anon" ... I'm one guy, I'm me... and I'm sorry that I did...whatever it was I did. I voted against Paraguay at first because I didn't think it was a very good article, but then I read some of the others and thought they were really terrible by comparison, and that Paraguay wasn't as bad as I thought it was, so I changed my vote, and I went back to edit the article, and I guess I shouldn't have done that because it ...belongs to SPIKE? I thought any people could edit this site, and it looked cool and funny, and I thought that people might appreciate it if I helped clean up articles and make them funnier, and I voted because I thought that would be OK. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to change my vote once I made it. I guess I just don't get all the rules. I read some of the pages here that have guidelines for editing, but they didn't seem too strict, they seemed kind of fun, in fact, but I guess they are stricter than they look. I guess you have to be really familiar with the rules here before you can edit or anything, and that doesn't seem very fun. I'm sorry I ruined your article, SPIKE; I thought...anyway. 185.25.253.24 17:58, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
  1. Spike isn't the site owner. The owner is Wikia.
  2. You are Anon (anonymous editor), as you are editing under your IP address.
  3. You are allowed to edit the site and to vote against articles (as many as you would like), but saying "this is good in comparison to other articles" is not very kind, sorry.
  4. Please, register; even I have questions to ask you, in particular about the Ghost Writer and why you think it's terrible.

Thanks. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:04, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

edit Teutonic Knights

I see you deleted my stub here and so I grabbed it into my userspace. I suggested you might be able to expand on it (in Section 21 above), but you might not have seen that section. Are you interested? Spıke ¬ 16:38 6-Jan-14

Oops! Sorry. Ok, an article about the Teutonic Knights can be done. Ever see the Russian film Alexander Nevsky with full orchestra? I did some years ago. The Teutonic Knights from the Russian angle and a film made before 1939. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 20:43, January 6, 2014 (UTC)

I agree it can be done! only, I cannot do it. You are welcome to develop this article. I'll ask ScottPat as well. Spıke ¬ 15:22 10-Jan-14

PS--I tripled the size with a creative reading of the Wikipedia article and returned it to mainspace. You are welcome to pile on, as I'm sure you have something to add from memory. Spıke ¬ 14:44 13-Jan-14

OK, let me see if I can 'riff' off the article and add any extra. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:29, January 13, 2014 (UTC)

edit Name change?

Uhh, hi. y-your ears are so pretty.. I MEAN, umm, I would l-like it if you could please maybe ch-change my name to "Just Joe" please Romartu-san? I-I-I heard from Mimo&Maximus that y-you could do, do it, it's not like I like you or anything, jeeze! The preceding unsigned comment was added by Joe McBobski (talk • contribs)

Yup, see his talk page. I doubt either of us can do this and had directed him to Sannse. Spıke ¬ 18:54 12-Jan-14
Got it, sorry I asked Romartus first. -- Joe
I don't think I have the power to do that. Create a new account and we can lock the one you made by mistake.--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:31, January 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit File:TeutonicKnight01.jpg

The Teutonic Knight on the right seems to have won the Oscars,© or to have a good hand with a soldering iron. Spıke ¬ 22:45 13-Jan-14

Make and mend, make and mend. Darth Vader a Teutonic Knight. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:49, January 13, 2014 (UTC)

Was he??? Spıke ¬ 22:54 13-Jan-14

A cinematic descendant of these knights as seen in the film Alexander Nevsky. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:19, January 13, 2014 (UTC)

edit History of Great Brits

I am forlorn. You promised me you'd keep the footnotes on HOFB to three, which gave me a huge laugh a long time ago. It's now up to 10, which isn't satirical or funny. You betrayed me, and I am now moving to the fork for good. Or is it eating from a fork, good foo(d)? At least on the fork HOGB will always have only 3 footnotes, unless I look at it, and it has 10, then I will move the mirror, where it has only... Aleister 10:29 14-1-14

Well 10 isn't a lot and I don't intend to to Twerk it anymore. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:14, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
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