User talk:Rifting
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IM BACK
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Hello, Rifting, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are
a few
good links for people like you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
- How to be funny and not just stupid
If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being a Wikipedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
At Wikipedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Rifting/Article about stuff) so you can edit it
at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{WIP}} - onto it as well.
If you're strapped for things to do, check out UN:WYCD or browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!
"But, Syndrome, sir," you say, "what if I don't want to write dry encyclopedic twaddle?" Well, I'm glad you asked! We have many side projects here, such as UnScripts for budding young Shakespeares, UnNews for our cub reporters, or even Image Request
if you're more of a potato chopper than a writer. The possibilities here are endless!
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Wikipedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage
to join. Again, welcome! --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 19:18, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
Contents |
You know...
For someone who just joined today, you have a pretty nifty sig. —Paizuri MUN ♦ Talkpage ♦ My Contributions ♦ 22:39, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for noticing! My job is in web design so wiki markup was just another coding to learn. The only problem so far is that I have to enter a captcha every time I edit a page. Like your sig too. (Just noticed it wont let me press the "dont fall in" link....) Rifting
Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB
22:46, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- So you admit it then! You're a sockpuppet! --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 23:21 Mar 12 2010
- I ADMIT NOTHING! whats a sock puppet on this site? Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 23:23, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Pelargonium? You're Pelargonium aren't you?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:26, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- I am neither Modus (I saw that) or Pelargonium. I am... well... I am Me . Are to they good people to be? Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 23:29, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, Modus is awesome, but Pelargonium is GAY GAY GAY, i haet him he sux!!!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:30, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- By the way, in case you didn't notice, I actually love Pelargonium, we're just dicks to each other for comedy value. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:33, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Haha yea I see. Well Im sorry that my advanced sig has caused all this confusion but I still dont understand what a sock puppet is. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 23:34, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Finding Your Inner Sock Puppet. And no, everything we say is a joke. Except for that. And that. And that. And that. And that. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:51, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Finding Your Inner Sock Puppet. And no, everything we say is a joke. Except for that. And that. And that. And that. And that. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- Haha yea I see. Well Im sorry that my advanced sig has caused all this confusion but I still dont understand what a sock puppet is. Rifting
- By the way, in case you didn't notice, I actually love Pelargonium, we're just dicks to each other for comedy value. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- Well, Modus is awesome, but Pelargonium is GAY GAY GAY, i haet him he sux!!!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- I am neither Modus (I saw that) or Pelargonium. I am... well... I am Me . Are to they good people to be? Rifting
- Pelargonium? You're Pelargonium aren't you?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- I ADMIT NOTHING! whats a sock puppet on this site? Rifting
- So you admit it then! You're a sockpuppet! --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 23:21 Mar 12 2010
- Well that was a long read... well i am not any of those. Although the one about being an admin and creating a sock puppet to win an argument seems interesting. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 00:07, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- It's a good strategy. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 02:09 Mar 13 2010
- Would it be possible to whore myself out to an admin pretending to be their sock puppet? Some sort of PR stunt? Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 02:12, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- I wouldn't. But then again I'm kind of
a pussyshy. In any case, it's good to have you. You might just be the next PuppyOnTheRadio! (He's one of our best coders) —Paizuri MUN ♦ Talkpage ♦ My Contributions ♦ 04:40, 13 March 2010 (UTC)- But don't offer us your sausage like he does. Also, we already know you're a pussy(in both senses), Pelargonium.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 04:43, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- But don't offer us your sausage like he does. Also, we already know you're a pussy(in both senses), Pelargonium.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- I wouldn't. But then again I'm kind of
- Would it be possible to whore myself out to an admin pretending to be their sock puppet? Some sort of PR stunt? Rifting
- It's a good strategy. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 02:09 Mar 13 2010
Welcome Son!
Or are you a girl? Oops, I forgot to ask. In any case, I look forward to working with you, but do have to log off about 10 minutes ago. See ya again soon, and welcome! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:47, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- I think Im a boy, at least the Instructional videos say I am. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 19:50, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Yes, welcome to the family! You've been adopted by your dad Why, and I'm your big brother HELPME. I've been an only child for a while, so it's nice to see you here. Now, having been as new as you are a while ago, I know how you feel. Nervous? I was. Well, anyway, you now have a puppy who's good at code for an uncle. There's your dangerous uncle Syndrome, and if you're uespecially unlucky, he may vandalize your userpage.(But he does it out of love) There's your oldest sister Puffskein, the eldest daughter with several features. She seems to not be around much anymore, but she pops in every now and then. Your other older sister Little Mermaid seems to have swam away. You have your grandmother Miley Spears, Why's mommy. And your recently-returned uncle Bad Shroom too!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 01:41, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- Ive been talking to the puppy already...but it seems like one not-so-happy family who has a love-hate relationship. Ill fit right in. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 01:44, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- No, we're a happy family! We just hate everyone else because they suck.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 02:48, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- Damn, Why?, your family is getting huge. Are you Mexican? T_T —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 18:20, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
- No, we're a happy family! We just hate everyone else because they suck.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- HELPME, thanks a lot for posting the family history. I was going to do that ASAP, but I ran into a problem and haven't had access to the Internet for over 24 hours. Did you hear that? I went without Internet access for over 24 hours! We're talking serious withdrawal symptoms. I had to draw a picture of a keyboard and a screen and keep tapping the fake keys I drew til my fingers poked through the paper. It was horrible! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:03, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- I dont want to ask what you did for... well, you know... without internet! Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 12:29, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, that was awful. Did you ever notice that trees are kind of sexy? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Now that you mention it... nevermind. And do you know why I havent been given the permission to edit pages yet? Ive been here for over 3 days. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 20:00, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Actually, by my count your first post here was made in a little under 72 hours ago. It should happen very soon. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:11, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Now that you mention it... nevermind. And do you know why I havent been given the permission to edit pages yet? Ive been here for over 3 days. Rifting
- Yeah, that was awful. Did you ever notice that trees are kind of sexy? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- I dont want to ask what you did for... well, you know... without internet! Rifting
- Ive been talking to the puppy already...but it seems like one not-so-happy family who has a love-hate relationship. Ill fit right in. Rifting
- Yes, welcome to the family! You've been adopted by your dad Why, and I'm your big brother HELPME. I've been an only child for a while, so it's nice to see you here. Now, having been as new as you are a while ago, I know how you feel. Nervous? I was. Well, anyway, you now have a puppy who's good at code for an uncle. There's your dangerous uncle Syndrome, and if you're uespecially unlucky, he may vandalize your userpage.(But he does it out of love) There's your oldest sister Puffskein, the eldest daughter with several features. She seems to not be around much anymore, but she pops in every now and then. Your other older sister Little Mermaid seems to have swam away. You have your grandmother Miley Spears, Why's mommy. And your recently-returned uncle Bad Shroom too!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- Ok, I have a few things I want to sign up for, thats basically all. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 20:12, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- It's 4 days. You'll know when it says "autoconfirmed" in your preferences.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 20:14, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Are you sure?
- It's 4 days. You'll know when it says "autoconfirmed" in your preferences.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
You have to have been on Uncyclopedia for a long time before you can add pages here. Three whole days! I know! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:44, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- 3 days there. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 20:18, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- 3 days there. Rifting
- Cant wait for the tutorial. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 20:42, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, and what Why? will advise is to check those out but take the time to carefully read how they work before doing much. People can easily get in trouble for messing with those (I know). If someone else has nommed an article for deletion and you think it deserves it or not, feel free to vote, but I'd avoid nomming articles for anything yet--like most places, the written rules are sometimes hard to find, and the unwritten rules are even harder. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:47, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- I think this is sort of like the midnight question: if it's midnight between Monday and Tuesday, is it midnight Monday or midnight Tuesday? And if it is midnight Monday, then one second later it's Tuesday. And if Jesus died on Friday and came back on Sunday, why does the Bible say he was resurrected on the third day (actually, I know the answer to that one--it's a Jewish thing)? I believe the permission happens the moment you've hit/passed three days. When you're in your fourth day, it's counted. But that may depend on time zone--it may wait until you're in your fourth day by UTC, ignoring the actual hours. But in any case, it should happen very soon. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:42, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, and UN:BP is awesome because it doesn't really have so many unwritten rules, and you get to watch retarded vandals die. >:) —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 20:54, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, that one's relatively safe. Just make sure you post some sort of actual reason for the ban request, and that the person is really, really screwing up in a way that's obviously on purpose (blanking pages, adding random stuff like YOU ALL SUCK! to an article, etc.). WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:58, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Really? Why? (Actually, some of the best users here make why references).... WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 21:17, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Hello little brother. Yes, I'm not around that much, I write in spurts - but I do respond to comments to my talk page, so if you need anything, don't hesitate to comment. I'm really a terrible daughter, on Uncyclopedia and in real life. --Puffskein 00:22, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
The article we're working on
I fixed a couple things and removed a Grue reference. In general, references to things like that (Chuck Norris, Grues, Oscar Wilde ((except for the occasional quote))) are bad. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go for a while. Please continue your work! You're doing well.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! 
NOTM 19:28, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- My sons are working together? I should be proud! Or maybe very, very afraid. You know it's not right for sons to conspire against their old man? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:43, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Your sig
In case you missed my post which was somewhere else (now I don't even remember where), I very strongly recommend you change your sig ASAP. The lone symbol looks very similar to Admin Mordillo's signature, and trust me, you don't want to be mistaken for an admin. The symbol's fine (obviously; I use it), but not nothing but the symbol (and yes, I know more appears if you move the mouse over it). WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 04:15, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Ok, ill get something else up there as the symbol. Better? Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 11:30, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, cool. By the way, just curious--have you ever played the roleplaying game Rifts? Although my favorite system is GURPS. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:25, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- I might... Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 18:50, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral walking the plank!
IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on the IC talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == (Your comments) == below my signature, or click the + tab up above, and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.
Actually, I'm looking for a temporary assistant/permanent successor as head of Imperial Colonization. I got put in charge of IC because I kept bugging a certain admin. I'd say, "Why isn't somebody doing this with IC?" and "Why isn't somebody doing that with IC?" So that admin basically said "Why, you're somebody; go do it" (see discussion here). But as you can see, I took on the position planning to update IC, get it moving again, and see it through one colonization. Well, that happened. IC was updated and reactivated and, thanks to some great colonizers, Creationism was recreated in a spirit of cooperation, was rewritten on deadline, was Pee Reviewed and, as a bonus, was voter-chosen as a feature article within about a day of being nommed. Our current project, Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman is scheduled to be written by 20 March, and then we'll begin another. IC is moving...and I'm looking for someone to keep it moving. If interested, please post a note on the IC talk page--experienced and successful users only need apply. Ability to say "ARRRRR" like a pirate is not required, but would be nice.
WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 17:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
Use:Rifting/sig1
Look at what I did with the same concept. Replace it with your details, like I did. (I'm signing with it) Mine isn't perfect, but it works for the most part. —Sir HELPY (talk) (stalk) CUN NotM
- Haha we both had the same idea, I wanted to see more of how to use the sighidden stuff though. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 01:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- I sorta like it! User:Rifting 01:40, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Swoops in* You made one mistake only, I'll go fix it..—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 01:42, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- NOOOO I made major edits to it and I got an edit conflict. *Grumble Grumble* User:Rifting 01:45, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Its perfect now. User:Rifting 01:51, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Swoops in* You made one mistake only, I'll go fix it..—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- I sorta like it! User:Rifting 01:40, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
Mar 18th, 2010 • Issue 80 • Hold the line! News isn't always on time!
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VFS: it begins
 Leading the popular vote at present is long-serving poopsmith and kvetcher RabbiTechno, gaining a seemingly unassailable lead by being helpful, friendly and competent, and by promising to bake cakes for all who vote for him - a ploy which may well have snared the support of more than just the odd swing voter. In a comfortable position just behind the Rabbi is lengthily-monikered Belgian workhorse Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, the joint Uncyclopedian of the Year for 2009, who seems to be gathering followers by being helpful, competent, friendly, and doing loads and loads of stuff. This cunning stratagem has obviously endeared him to the denizens of this wiki, who seem to be propelling him towards having his own banstick. But hold on, who's this coming up stealthily behind Socky? Why, it's pee review supremo and scourge of vandals everywhere ChiefjusticeDS! The Chief is steadily accumulating backers through the cunning tactic of being competent, helpful and friendly. He also rules PEEING with an iron fist, and spends inordinate amounts of time cleaning and tidying up the place, facts that have led to him coming within striking distance of the leaders in what appears to be a three-horse race. One thing is clear from this - all 3 of the most popular candidates appear to be helpful and friendly, which this newspaper finds unacceptable - where is the next Famine going to come from? where will we find an admin willing to infiban users and delete all their articles just for looking at someone the wrong way, or for being Kip the Dip? Also nominated, and receiving some support are current Writer of the Year and greatest person in the history of all things ever Hyperbole, diplomat by Uncyc appointment to all religions Optimuschris, canine broadcaster and damn fine journalist PuppyOnTheRadio, allcaps-named VFD machine SPIKE, confirmed female on the internets Zana Dark, easy-to-spell feature-machine Guildensternenstein and jaded old-timer Necropaxx. Other people have been nominated without recording a score as yet, but as this article is already long enough to have the editor wondering how many filler boxes he can dream up for the right-side panel this week, they just appear as a brief list: Mnbvcxz, Cajek, Gerrycheevers, Syndrome, The Woodburninator, Why do I need to provide this?, Charitwo and some bloke called Mhaille. Will any of them pick up a sympathy vote before the end of voting round 2? Positions vacant. The Imperial Colonization is a long standing organisation that has for years been at the cutting edge of creativity of articles for one of the world's most respected websites: Uncyclopedia. Due to a period of unprecedented growth during a time of economic downturn, as most of our members are otherwise unemployed, we are looking for a new assistant to the head of IC. This is a fantastic opportunity for you to work from home. Your daily duties will include:
The relevant applicant will have:
This is a rare opportunity. The successful applicant will become next in line to take over the reins of IC when the current head To apply, contact Why do I need to provide this? here. |
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About sig1
Sorry, son, you may not know that it's completely unacceptable to edit another user's signature; but I did it anyway. User:Rifting/sig1 was causing major problems, probably everywhere it appeared. I happened to visit Uncyclopedian of the Month, and half the candidates were mysteriously missing. I looked through the history trying to figure out why, cut and pasted to find the problem, etc., but couldn't figure it out--until finally I realized it was your signature. Everything posted under it disappeared, at least on the UotM page, so it probably happened elsewhere. Please, any time you edit a signature, look after it and see if it does anything weird. Your stern but helpful and loving father, WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:29, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Hey, sorry for the problems I caused. I canged my sig back to User:Rifting/sig and also replaced the contents of User:Rifting/sig to fix all the templates that were posted while using the other signature. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 18:37, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Cool. You know, the only way to never make mistakes is to never try. And other helpful fatherly advise as seen on 1950s TV. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:40, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Haha. Im still going to try to construct a new sig, my current one expands too long and I cant even manage to cross the space before it closes. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain 365 - LOB 18:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, when your siggy expands it is a bit long. That's not a sexual reference. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:46, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Don't believe your Daddy. Listen to Grandma. Everything my son says is a sexual reference! lol Really welcome to Uncyclopedia! Feel free to come and visit Grandma on my talk page anytime. Grandma huggies! Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:22, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
- Don't believe your Grandma. Everything I say is NOT a sexual reference. Just 95%. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:20, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
- Don't believe your Daddy. Listen to Grandma. Everything my son says is a sexual reference! lol Really welcome to Uncyclopedia! Feel free to come and visit Grandma on my talk page anytime. Grandma huggies! Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:22, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, when your siggy expands it is a bit long. That's not a sexual reference. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:46, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Haha. Im still going to try to construct a new sig, my current one expands too long and I cant even manage to cross the space before it closes. Rifting
- Cool. You know, the only way to never make mistakes is to never try. And other helpful fatherly advise as seen on 1950s TV. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:40, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
