User talk:RaymondAK-47

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edit Pre-Rendered Welcome!

Hello, RaymondAK-47, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, dammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, particularly the second one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your username, a link to your userpage, the date, and your social security number. Really, there are only two rules, just make sure you take a brief look at them.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone who cares will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join--but you might want to go and actively ask someone from here, or you might not be noticed. Again, welcome to the machine


Limited time offer!
Do you feel unappreciated? Do you need someone to stroke your ego? Do you need the latest Uncyclopedia gossip? Do you want to know which user is being shagged by which admin? Then Join The Uncyclopedia UnSignPost , The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!. Delivered each Thursday by the our local paperbot


TLB

The balloon welcomes you!

Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own fleshy finger. I'm not a bot. I exist. Now, for some personal, non-official advice:
  • You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Kitten Huffing, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are completely overused and not really funny anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon cliché. Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just please don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny.
  • Another thing we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it.
  • Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the
    pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm, have a good look at HTBFANJS, and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff.
  • Start pages in userspace, first. By that, I mean if you wanted to create a page called "Flappy woo-ha," instead of creating the page [[Flappy woo-ha]], create User:RaymondAK-47/Flappy woo-ha. That way, you'll have plenty of time to work on it and it won't be deleted or ICU'd. You can start a page in mainspace, just make damn sure what you put there is long enough and funny enough to not get huffed.
  • Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never.
  • There are a lot of links I just put on your page. This is the most important one.
  • And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually. - Don Leddy the Crunch Fedora (Nyah, see, nyah!) 16:38, Jun 7

edit And following this very long and scary welcome notice

Welcome. have fun, and feel free to say nasty things against religious people, Jews, Arabs, Ashkenazi people and every other person you detest :) ~Jewriken.GIF 17:30, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

edit Cheers

For joining the Foreign Office and adding some suggested articles. Had a look (at the pictures) and read some of it (using Google Translation) and it looks very good. Thanks --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 11:11, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

We are more then happy to join. we will start translating into Hebrew soon, and into English too, if anyone asks. we thank you, me and my alter ego... RaymondAK-47talk - Over my dead, partly decomposed, raped body! 11:17, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:32, 24 June 2010

edit All the news that's unfit to print!

--Chiefjustice32X 12:27, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Signpost: normal service resumed

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:03, Jul 9

edit Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:29, 16 July 2010

edit Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

--Chiefjustice32X 14:10, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:14, 5 August 2010

edit Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

--Chiefjustice32X 12:12, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 13:00, September 9, 2010 (UTC)
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