User talk:Phrage

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Phrage, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Phrage/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 04:36, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Not sure what you said on my talk page (which was pretty hard to find, next time when you're leaving a note on someone's talk page press the little plus sign next to edit to start a new header on the bottom of their page, so your message can be nice and easy to find) but I'm assuming "contraventions" means "contraception," in which case: No, your edits are not contraceptions. It hopefully shouldn't be as complicated as wikipedia, to get a good grasp on the right and wrong ways to edit skim through the Beginner's Guide, linked here and above.
Looking through your existing contributions you seem to be doing a good job. Keep it up, any if you feel like it maybe you can start one of your own articles! --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 04:49, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
found the +    -thanks  no i meant contravention not contraception -unless that is you trying to be funny ? 

my question is -why did you send me a message and what is it ? and does it relate to anything i wrote ?

No, the message was just the welcome message above, recognizing that you've started editing and that it's a good thing and we don't want you to leave. And yeah, I was trying to be funny. Guess it didn't work. Sorry. Also, to indent your messages, put a colon before what you want to say.
Like this! And also, put four tildes after your messages to sign your post. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 04:56, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
Wow...if you add more you can scoot across to the other side of the page. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
See this. Especially his archived talkpage. There is a lovely discussion involving "colon mashing". —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:05 21 August 2010]
Shut up. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 05:28, August 22, 2010 (UTC)

your name and eminent titles are so long i cannot distinguish which is which

edit Palestine for Physicists

is here. It's in your userspace (see the welcome message above), so you'll be able to work on it without it getting deleted first. Wikis are supposed to work from small foundations to create massive opuses, but I'm afraid it's (more often than not) not the case here. It's hard even for two people to work together on an article oftentimes, and if you write up a starting point and nothing more, it's quite likely to be snubbed and deleted by an admin—better to flesh it out and then put it out there. Good luck. MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[04:31 22 Aug 2010]

Thanks -i am still pretty clueless  on the mechanics and the niceties here

edit hey jackass

keep vandalizing and removing votes, and you're going to get permabanned -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 08:07, Aug 22

i removed no votes but you seem to be a defender of child porn -and have been in hot water here before........... -hmmmm

Stop being a dick. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat08:11, Sunday 22 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire
You did remove his vote, as proved by this diff, which is against the rules. Don't do it again.--HM (T) 08:13, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
I saw that! Your tildes were showing! Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat08:14, Sunday 22 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire
haha edit conflict. i was just putting in the link too -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 08:16, Aug 22
and dont vandalize stuff because you don't like it. if you dont like something tough shit, GTFO. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 08:19, Aug 22

i repeat i removed no vote(s) i do not know how to do so. this is a very very strange site behind the scenes.

If you click on the diff I linked, you will see that in your edit, whether intentionally or not, you removed Teh pwnerator's vote.--HM (T) 08:23, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
can someone ban him already? plz? i'll give head... -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 08:24, Aug 22
I think Chief wants you on your knees, now. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat08:25, Sunday 22 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire

edit Hello

Hi Phrage. I just wanted to come by and greet you before the... well, um, ah, ....
So here's how I see it, you've been making some waves but I bet you're a good guy; just new. Some people have gotten upset so I'm gonna leave this advice 'cause I know they'll read this too.
Just wait about five minutes to edit when something's got your ire up. They probably didn't mean it the way you think. Everybody's humo(u)r is different. Folks jus' need to get along & stuff. Relax and the funny will come. Everyone's an asshat occasionally, but it probably means they're constipated. Etc.
Cheers!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  22 Aug 2010 ~ 08:36 (UTC)

Happytimes has good advice. Plus, I don't know who they are, but my friend says Colin and Pwnerator are total dicks and nobody likes them, not even their mothers! --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 08:40, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
it's true! -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 08:43, Aug 22
My mother beats me with frying pans in a most comically painful fashion. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat08:58, Sunday 22 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire
Yay comic pain! —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [09:52 22 August 2010]
Slapstick eases he pain of child abuse. It's true, Bing Crosby told me that. -RAHB 19:55, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
Ironically, "Bing!" is the sound the pan made when it hit my head. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat17:47, Monday 23 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire

edit Let's be friends, best friends.

Hey, sorry if I goaded yo/snapped at you/ate you etc., let's make up and be friends now, best friends? I can offer you cookies! —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [12:17 23 August 2010]

No problemo _ I was wearing my high dudgeon attitude coat cruising for a bruising. Just kneel down and give me a quick gobble over here in the corner and we'll call it quits. i never take long. After all cookies are fattening, and spunk will improve your complexion and help with those persistent spots. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Phrage (talk • contribs)

It probably will! Remember to add ~~~~ after everything you say! —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [13:39 23 August 2010]
Somehow the humour of proposing a quickie gobble in the corner is diminished on finding that you are female. Ho hum ! no No I did not mean whore hum -oh i guess i will just hum and walk away quietly.⦿⨦⨀ phrage 14:15, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Interesting theory. What gender are you? —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [14:45 23 August 2010]
What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gender -- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 18:50, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

edit An answer for you

Can a piece be reviewed only once by one person in Pee review? Must one always Pee and die alone  ? Is there not a process where a battery of gentle improving comments suggestions hints and advice( or raging disagreements if that is your bag) can be left ? ⦿⨦⨀ phrage 10:06, August 23, 2010 (UTC) (Moved from a review page, which was not the place to leave it, really, just for future reference).

OK, that answer: in an ideal world, that would be the case. It would be great if people got a drip-feed of honest, sensible suggestions for improving their articles - as long as they weren't "make it more funnierer", which is what we usually get. Problem is, it's hard enough to get anyone to do one review around here, let alone leave lots of constructive comments all over the place. Uncyclopedians tend to prefer writing their own stuff, voting on everything, and making pointless posts in the dump. So the best solution tends to be one person to one review - at least (eventually) people do get some feedback that way. If you do want to give a little advice about several articles, either do so on the article's talk page, or make the suggestion on the author's talk page (you can generally spot the author by using the page history tab). All decent authors around here should take constructive feedback if offered in the right way. Does that answer you? --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:32, Aug 23

Thank you for answer.I think I may have put the question in the wrong place -it ended up on a sort of compartmentalized dead review input form. I DID leave a helpful critique on the article discussion page. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Phrage (talk • contribs)

No problem. Looks like you're moving in the right direction, thanks for trying to be helpful. Two little tips for wikiformatting that you may or may not already know, and that will help you if you don't. One: to indent, use one or more colons (:) at the start of a line - a space will not have the same effect, as you can see on that article's talk page. Try to indent in conversations on talk pages, as the guys above you have been doing. Makes conversations easier to follow. Two: don't forget to sign anything you post that isn't directly on an article or your userpage - even on your own talk page. If you want to make yourself an interesting sig, see here. Good luck! --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:51, Aug 23

Half of my piece on the Xenomorph discussion page is surrounded by a dotted line and has a grey backround and spaced out words --what caused that and should i fix it -if so how ?⦿⨦⨀ phrage 14:13, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

This would be the result of that extraneous space UU mentioned.
A space before a line of text results in this formatting.
A colon before a line of text results in the desired effect of indentation. The answer, therefore, is to replace any indentation you attempted with spaces with indentation using colons.

     Another option is to use &nbsp immediately followed by a semicolon, which, as you can see in the code for this page, acts purely as a space. MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[14:17 23 Aug 2010]

An interesting distinction to note: the colon indents the entire paragraph, whereas using non-breaking spaces (i.e. &nbsp followed by semicolon as you can see by clicking edit) indents just the first line. MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[14:26 23 Aug 2010]
Thanks - this stuff is all new -Is it easier on Wikipedia or just the same  ? Are you all double honours English and Computer Science graduates now working at Penguin ? Most of my education was with a fountain pen.⦿⨦⨀ phrage 14:48, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Wikipedia is just the same. It's not a system really designed for conversation and talk, as such. See the few points of advice I offered on my talkpage. Have some cake, too. —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [14:50 23 August 2010]

edit Why Phrage?

Your name intrigues me. Does it have a meaning? And you need to work out your signature thing too. You need to put your sig on a page - Phrage/sig - and then remember to use the signature key after every time you write a message. You know - like saying 'over' on an old radio call system etc (since you mention fountain pens, I guess you aren't a young 'un. Neither am I which is why I have asked). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:10, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

Hi- I liked the sound of it as used as an abbreviation by Patrick Stewart when he played Frasier's would be gay lover. I had forgotten this and thought I just made it up as a nonsense word I found out afterward that it has a meaning in the urban dictionary of false rage used to gloss over shortcomings. I have no idea how to do that signature thing but i will try. you somehow assign a keyboard key to a page ? I loved I Claudius and do you remember the Trigan Empire ? You seem a swords and sandals era guy.⦿⨦⨀ phrage 17:28, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Hey, Phrage do you want me to sort the signature out for you? It's quite complicated but you can get yourself a signature like all the fancy ones you'll see floating around here. And then you will continue to sign with your tildes. If you want help reply here on my talkpage and I can help you sort it all out. Signatures is one of my specialities! They're useful for making your posts easily distinguishable (custom signatures that is). —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [17:41 23 August 2010]

edit You should be familiar with this old saying

Obvious troll is obvious. And learn to type. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 17:13, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

Weak shoulda woulda coulda ! Black is black ♬ i want my baby back. Learn to read and after learning to read learn to think before typing and then learn to admit when you misread.⦿⨦⨀ phrage 17:19, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

edit Your Comments on the VFH Page

I think Dexter actually overreacted slightly. I see what you're saying, but: Uncyclopedia is not the place for that sort of discussion. It's really just a comedy sight and you're not likely to get a serious conversation out of anyone on the issues you raised. The points you made are interesting but probably better to discuss on "Philosopedia" as opposed to Uncyc. I was simply trying to do a few things in my article: 1. Taking a son to mommy style/confession (I'm so sorry, mommy, I broke a vase) and inserting the most extreme case I could possibly think of (I'm so sorry, mommy, I raped and killed a child). 2. The most coarse and horrific thing presented in a gentle and calm tone and 3. I suppose challenge censorship, prove nothing is off bounds blah blah blah. Comedy should be judged on whether you find it funny not on how or why you find it funny. Or at least that's how it should be judged on Uncyclopedia. Maybe on my imaginary Philosopedia then you could discuss contexts, what is and what isn't art, what's off bounds, what's too crude etc., but here it's about whether something makes you laugh. If it doesn't, then that is absolutely fine, comedy is subjective and you're entitled to your own opinion. If does make you laugh, then great. The subject should not be judged.

And I'm not trying to be argumentative or such, just making a reply. I have a feeling that you are simply not yet accustomed to how Uncyc works, which is fine. But as Chief (an admin here) ended the discussion with the VFH drama template, I don't really want to continue the discussion, I'm simply exercising a right of reply. A right I just invented for myself. But anywho. No hard feelings. I would say, however, that in future, if you want to voice your opinion on an article you should not do so in the style you might read in a newspaper critic (or a professional critic's style) but in a way that offer constructive criticisms. If you're criticising an article you should probably be quite gentle about it and suggest ways to improve the article. I've review/given advice on some honestly terrible articles but always make sure that I offer ideas on how to improve the article. Often they aren't followed up upon, but that's life.

As a new user on Uncyc, I suggest that it is important to be humble. You have to bow to your more experienced peers (and especially admins) in many cases. This is often because they will know the site better than you, but also you can cause quite a shitstorm if you challenge more experienced users. I'm not insulting you, nor suggesting you are less intelligent, less funny, have worse tastes or a worse writing style than anyone on the site. Just sayin' and all. Not entirely sure if I'm being totally clear here. But I'm being friendly, I promise! —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [18:05 23 August 2010]

Yup- a sight for sore eyes if you stay on long enough . Thanks for advice and heads up, Now I am getting very curious about age/gender/weight/location of other Uncyclopedophiles. ⦿⨦⨀ phrage 18:19, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

edit sorry for being a jackass...

just was kinda upset by what seemed like vandalism and a deliberate attempt to silence me, which on top of tha ti really liked the article, and to top it off, if was tired and grumpy from a long day of doing shit. I'm sure it was just caused by 1. lack of knowledge of how to edit some things without screwing up pages and 2. an edit conflict. If you ever hit the submit button and it doesn't just submit it, make sure you read what it says so that you don't just resubmit over someone else. Remember, edits are a race, so if you don't get yours in first, you lose, and have to do the hard work of merging the two in a way that makes everyone happy. also could i interest you in adding some sort of link to your userpage (maybe even your talk page as well, if you are feeling generous!) to your signature? Please please please? It makes it a lot easier to respond to you, etc, plus it makes you cooler! Anyways, sorry for being mean, would you like to start over and be friends? -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 23:29, Aug 23

Also, redlink user pages are for n00bs, try and make one sometime! Doesn't have to be relevent, cool, or even with any content. The reason why is everyone stereotypes redlink userpage users as possible vandals. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 23:32, Aug 23

I have not the first clue about how to make or place a squiggle by my name let alone how to link it to a user page or this page but it sounds like a great idea and if you can tell me or show me how or even do it -super !⦿⨦⨀ phrage 00:15, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
How do we start ? I got as far as an input page that says Editing User: Phrage/sig but have run out of breadcrumbs and am lost. Any ideas ?⦿⨦⨀ phrage 00:15, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
the general way to link is [[what you want to link to|what you want link to say]] so if you do [[User:Teh_pwnerator|asshole]] it will show up as asshole -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 00:17, Aug 24
i made a very simple example for you. now you just have to go to your "My preferences" page (near the top right of your screen), and in the "Signature": entry box add {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Phrage/sig}}. Then click the "Custom signature" box just below it. make sure you sign with ~~~~ -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 00:29, Aug 24
also a tip. if you ever want to write something as normal text instead of it making a link or something, use the nowiki tag. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 00:32, Aug 24
Not sure what that did{{SUBST:nosubstlUser:Phrage/sig}} 00:47, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
Ack! Let me show you: {{SUBST:Nosubst|User:Phrage/sig}} Use the displayed pipe character (This little guy: |), not the letter "L". --HM (T) 02:02, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
Also, to link to your userpage, use either A. {{U|Phrage}} or B. [[User:Phrage|Phrage]] Which will both show up as: Phrage with a link.--HM (T) 02:04, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
Way to rub in the fact that he doesn't have one ... MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[02:05 24 Aug 2010]
you had me 'til displayed pipe -where do i pick up one of those ?{{SUBST:nosubstlUser:Phrage/sig}} 02:08, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
Shift-\. Alternatively just copy-paste. MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[02:09 24 Aug 2010]
I cut I pasted i saved ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 02:17, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
success. thanks lads. now does that second thing with the A or B go in the same lozenge ? ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 02:20, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
Looks like Teh already did that for you—that link that says Phrage is that second thing. You're set! If you want to edit your signature ever again, just edit User:Phrage/sig. MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[02:22 24 Aug 2010]
thanks again lads for all the help. in the middle of it all and just when i had also finished a UN news piece I had a power cut and lost the piece NNNNGHHH- i rewrote it -never feels as good and stuck it on the new user page you guys made just to change from red to black -now i just need to learn how to stick a photo or two with it .......have a gander and see what you think. ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 04:37, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnNews - Anna Frank's tree

Hya, I've moved your article into your space and it is now here, you'll need to work on it more before you can return it to the main news section of the site. At the moment it suffers from various issues such as - no picture, the article looks like a wall of text and the whole concept seems to me like a general "the muslim are out to get us" rant rather than a proper piece. The subject is good, and you can make wonders of it, so please take the time to work on it further. If you need any help, drop me a line of ask for feedback from the good people at UN:PEE. Also, make sure to read the rules at VFH before you self nominate in the future. Thanks. ~ Mordillo where is my TWAT? 07:35, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, had to do the same to your other piece which can be found here. Similar problems, no picture, wall of text, broken templates and what seem to be random text. Work on that as well please. ~ Mordillo where is my TWAT? 07:49, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Phrage, can you stop recreating articles that clearly need work in the mainspace where it will end up deleted. As you can see above there have been copies placed in your userspace where you will be free to perfect your work before it is released onto the site. If you need any help just ask. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

I put the two articles in Pee review at the suggestion listed in this conversation of the editor who spiked them Mordillo. See above -is that putting in mainspace ? ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 10:02, August 24, 2010

Mordillo not sure if the email got through to you

I am bitterly disappointed that you skewered both of my articles as naturally i thought Thurber and the entire Onion editorial Board would rock with mirth and envy, but i will get over it and tip away at them again. i have unbunched them any way.
Is it 'cos I is gentile ?
Is it partly the subject matter ?

But seriously Maybe you could be a little more specific about which words or phrases you felt were "random text" I think I wrote in complete sentences in both articles. Both articles have the same photo - with diffferent captions -that was part of the humour . With regard to paragraphs and block text: one of your colleagues did not like paragraphs as they "wasted space" and requested bunching. Cool Hand Luke digging the hole boss. i like the wide open spaces myself.

The two options you mention for review are really non runners - my IP got permanently banned from one entry portal to that freenode for nil reason and i got malware too the last time i went on it -someone started sending porn from my home email through Ammann in Jordan, and the chat room is a pretty dead place anyway where sniping and genital obsessed puerility seems to get in the way of most anything else if anything ever happens there at all ! Godot.
For a site that produces some great stuff the chances to collaborate are pretty thin on the ground
Waiting for a review on Pee seems to be Samuel Beckett territory. Were those sincere suggestions ? i have nevertheless tried both again.

i did not realize self nomination at VFH was outlawed as at least one of the heavily voted current listings the one about anally raping and murdering a nine year old is self nominated I think .

Any pointers to the route back to the news page would be appreciated particularly if you are the gatekeeper ?
I wrote another short article much weaker than these two which sailed through. Beginners luck maybe .I suppose Jesus could be a Jewish carpenter and Borat a Muslim athlete for photos I have no idea how to imbed photos yet in articles hence use of the two handy indians

Should i be asking all this on your talk page instead ? Maybe you would look in on them from time to time over the next week  ? Thanks The preceding unsigned comment was added by Phrage (talk • contribs)

Don't forget to sign, Phrage! Anyway, some pointers: neither article has an image that I can see. Look at the page - can you see one? To insert an image, use something like [[File:ImageName.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Caption here]]. This is code for inserting an image. Of course, to do this, you have to upload the image from your computer first - use the handy "upload photo" link on the left menu there. I've added an example here, edit the page to see the code.

Ooh that felt good -I think I just passed from Freud's oral to anal stage

Next: self-noms are allowed if the article has been reviewed, or the article has been on the queue awaiting a review for more than a week. This is clearly explained on the VFH page, just above the box where you nominate articles. Please take a minute to read the guidelines next time.
Next: blocks of text are easy to break up - just split them into a couple of paragraphs by using a blank line in between paragraphs - a little like you have above. Blocks of text are not great - who told you to bunch your stuff up more? Perhaps you had too many spaces? A good balance is always a good thing.
As for reviews - there is a bit of a wait at present, unfortunately. You can speed the process up by reviewing someone else's article and asking them to return the favour. Make sure you give a good (read: in-depth and helpful, not necessarily glowing) review if you want a good one back. The pee review guide is here, I recommend having a read.
Finally, getting a feature, making your articles look good, learning how to format articles - all this takes time and experience, unless you're very lucky. Have a little patience. If you want to know how to format pages, find a page you think looks good (in this case an UnNews) and click edit on the page to see how it is formatted. Then just copy those tricks into your page and see how it looks. This is a wiki - you can always undo changes if you don't like them.
Finally finally, yeah, collaboration stuff isn't always easy to come by. It's a bit of a bugger. It tends to happen when you find someone in the community you get on with and suggest to them you work together. This can mean having to wade through much puerility, but there are more level-headed users on here, you just have to look for them! And hey, a little puerility on occasion can be a good thing!
Hope some of this helps. Good luck! --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:41, Aug 24
Thanks -lots to learn. ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 10:46, August 24, 2010 (UTC) you are all being extraordinarily kind -it took me a while to notice.
Don't worry about it - I remember when I first arrived, and how many mistakes I made. You have, as Mordillo did say, some good ideas there, so don't be discouraged. I'm sure that, given a little time, you will really get to grips with things, and then there'll be no stopping you! --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:53, Aug 24
Don't worry about it, as I said the best thing you can do is to look how other people have done things and then reusing similar things in your own work. It does take time to pick up details like how to format your work so that it reads better, augment with quality images, etc. You will get there... :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
So editing in the Pee room is not the done thing ? I mistakenly thought that was where a group article would be constructed or honed . would you say that in general Uncyclopedia is more about individuals writing articles than Wikipedia  ? ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 10:54, August 24, 2010 (UTC) and that post posting editing by authors or by passers by here is more snarled at ?
In an ideal world, pee review would be about community interaction and the like. Problem is, we're a much smaller community than WP, so getting that level of input is not easy. People do tend to be more attached to their own creations here, although there are some people around who are willing to help. It's just about finding the right people. Also, some people are more protective of their articles than others, depends who they are. Most people are open to well-intentioned contributions. The only real rule of thumb is that featured articles tend to get left alone unless you have a very good reason to touch them. And now, I'm off for my lunch. Mmm, pizza. Toodles! --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:09, Aug 24
I think those two gents above me answered all your questions? Anything else you need more help with? ~ Mordillo where is my TWAT? 11:15, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

No not for the moment Mordillo -thanks ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 11:27, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit Your sig

I was wondering. Maybe, if you wanted those symbols at the beginning could be the link to your userpage and you could get rid of your actual username? Be a little mysterious and unique, ya know...if you want. —TWAT WHORE MafiaHatBlack Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:36 24 August 2010]

good idea- just need to learn how to do it ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 22:57, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit You made me laugh

...with that picture and the "This is what Anne Frank would look like now had she lived and gotten into Kabbala" caption. Have some bagels. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:47, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Bagels Shalom!
Yum! You've received a basket of delicious fresh bagels from RabbiTechno!

מזל טוב
Thanks ! Your Jew Jitsu and Nest full of Darwins photos made me laugh too and I LOVE Bagels (and Israel just like Sara Palin) I am frustrated by my formatting/Template knowledge being nil and being bursting with stuff to say but i suppose I will get there eventually.I was stuck with the Indian as the default image and my ignorance of photo transfer to come up with a linking caption- necessity is invention's momma. take a look at this I have added some more text photos and captions crudely What do you think ?

I tarted up the Anne Frank one too --overkill ?

Most Everyone here seems to guard their physical appearance, gender, and real world identity closely - why do you think that is ?-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 16:48, August 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit Re: Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles

Specifically, concerning the SCUBA/Standard diving dress entry:

I did, in my best judgment, consider the original edit to be unnecessarily "crass and tasteless." Your later revision was acceptable in content, but I feel that the edit summary may have been a bit of a personal attack. Please try to use a more neutral tone in the future. --Pentium5dot1 t~^_^~c 00:58, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

No attack intended, I have seen far more crass and tasteless entire articles here than a pun on DIving Dress and a President's well aired pecccadilloes.

Why just yesterday one devoted to a lingering description of the rape,mutilation and murder of a nine year old child was being feted by your colleagues as a candidiate for a feature slot.

I simply asked you to consider,whether, in the light of such discrepancy and your own lengthy self promoted strong, long and if i understand correctly from your writing turbulent? relationship with Wikipedia it may have affected your decision to revert, and to stick in a Wikipedia link? to Siebe_Gorman type dress and to decide to describe my pun on "Standard Dress" as you did.

Sometimes tone can be more a question of reception than transmission. Radioreceivers have a tone adjustment rheostat for that reason.

The 'neutral' zone can quickly become the Beige zone. Is humour meant to trump straighforward and correct information on this site ?Perhaps the medium really is the message . Frock it ! Good Hunting and I wish you well.-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 03:48, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

edit France/tips

Hey there, I reverted your contributions there, it just adds to listyness which is bad without making much of a joke. France was featured, so like most articles of its kind its not really needing work. Have a look through our rewrites or UN:REQ for articles that need redone or ones that we're wanting written. Better still you could have a go with one of your own ideas. Take a look through the welcome at the top for some handy links and also have a look at our humour guide HTBFANJS for some more tips. Thanks and good luck:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:31, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for the advice I presume the changing of "formally" to "formerly": and "the" to "to" meet with your approval ? Funny how the Featurers missed them.I did not understand your point about British spelling. I had written the Vichy line before seeing your note- what do you think of it ?-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 09:50, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
That "Are you assuming Bad Faith article " is the business !!! I spotted it on your homepage -thanks-I recognized myself falling into several of the dumb resentful mindsets listed in it.-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 09:59, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
Its something that we all do, I've been here for over five years and its very easy to get protective of your work when some asshole comes and defecates all over it... :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Are the grammatical errors a deliberate attempt to give a mild Franglais feel to the article Sycamore ? and Sir Mhaille -are you saying I shat On Sycamore's Grande Oeuvre ? Uncyclopedia is like a hive -lots of angry busy bees protecting their honey.-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 11:03, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
No, that's the last thing I was saying.....I was just making the point that people, and by people I mean even me, can become over protective of their vision of "the funny" which sometimes escalates the level of "drama" around the place. As long as everybody is happy to work together there's usually no problem, and I find most people are happy to have augmentation of "their" work. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
I wonder do newspaper newsrooms(remember newspapers ?) have the same level of internecine activity ? Probably, though voluntary set ups can go either way -all sweetness and light where the money factor is gone or the opposite for a spectrum of causes. Satire can be more fun to read than compose. -- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 14:18, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
Drive By - Again Mhaille as always makes a fair point. As for me, I again stand by the post at the top - France before the re-write was a steaming pile of shit and that’s just the country, now it has a pretty respectable featured article. I think it should be kept that way. Simples.
As you've seen from your quite hurtful comment on the France talk-page that there are a few other 'unhappy people'. This is not something I can really take onboard since all re-writes written by anybody have a selection of trolls or the kind of soft editors who specialize in quotes or sentences to articles who are unhappy with a re-write. Their alternative is simply lengthy, inconsistent and outright dumb articles filled with cruft. It is better, as I said before, to work on articles that actually need work, rather than trying to pick apart a decent featured article on the terms that it is 'inaccessible' to you. I am protective of my work, however you will find that many people edit my articles and there is not a monopoly or 'territory'. In reference to my work, the articles of mine that get featured are the ones I dislike the most; I much prefer the ones that fewer people 'get' – as they are more fun to write and more enjoyed by a smaller group of people. Again, no hard feelings, and good luck – remember if you need help with an article you are writing just ask:)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:10, August 29, 2010 (UTC)
No hurt intended, and most of the ill considered remarks on the "France" discussion page seem to be from anonymous fly by night drivers by.Do not let my notions or theirs bother you.

Most critics, are at least part time eunuchs, as many food critics are often failed chefs. I include myself in both categories.

Your point about length and dross draining away the funny is a good one. Which of your more obscure articles do you recommend ?( is HILARIOUS)

Please take a look at my additions(Beignets/Romme/Billy Connolly/Burberry/Damart)l to the Beige featured article.I would be interested to read your opinion on whether they added to or detracted from its appeal (Maybe just to push the notion that sometimes even featured articles can do with a certain je sais quoi).

I DID discuss the article with its author first-I suppose that is always a good move to test the water as it were. Thank you for the offer of help. i still maintain that "formally" should be a "formerly" ! Just for interest -Are you a native english speaker ?

I think i might try to shut up until I produce a decent article; going around carping about those of others is a displacement activity.-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 16:15, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

edit Image requests

Hi Phrage, I see you left a message here regarding images. If you have specific requests for images you should rather go here and leave a detailed description of exactly what you have in mind and one of Uncyc's friendly potatochoppers might help you out. I'm a bit busy at the moment myself but if you need images you are also welcome to leave a message on my talkpage but I might not be able to get to it right away so best use Image Request for now. --Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 18:35, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much for such a prompt and informative reply.-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 20:16, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
No problem at all. I see you have moved your request but you have placed it on the talkpage of Image Request or RadicalX's Corner. You should actually have placed it on the actual Image Request page, and new requests go on top. If you look at some of the existing requests it should give you an idea of how things work there. Uncyc is filled with little technicalities but you'll soon get the hang of it. While we are here, you may as well tell me what pics you are looking for, perhaps I can throw something together. -Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 20:39, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
Amish_Farmers_lg_001.JPG Caption: Zionist Settler-Decorators (painted in secret by Norman Rockwell shortly before his death) from the cover of the Book "Secret Love in Palestine- 62 years of the Israeli Undercover Peace Construction Corps "to be published in the Fall by Simon and Schuster

This image needs three things : a matching blue star of David on each hat one side one front 3 inches to scale and a surround that makes it look like it is the front of a book. The title of the book Secret Love in Palestine low down on the front cover and on the spine would be a bonus.This is the article -it is fairly short and about half finished -what do you think ? would embedding the other photos be beneath you ?-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 21:18, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Not at all, book covers are fairly simple. I'll get right on it. -Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 21:27, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
Secret love in palestine

The cover of the Book "Secret Love in Palestine- 62 years of the Israeli Undercover Peace Construction Corps "to be published in the Fall by Simon and Schuster

Is this what you had in mind? -Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 22:04, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
WOW- fantastic - you wizard um wizardess DID YOU get to read the article and what did you think ? Are you more dame tiri kanewa or dame edna everidge -- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 22:33, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
Er... I think more Tiri, but I'm slightly bitter towards New Zealand at the moment. The Dame thing is just an ego thing we do here for Order of Uncyclopedia. I did read the article, it is coming together quite nicely. I'm not much of an authority on writing though, considering I haven't written any articles. Just get it PEED on, they have loads of great advice. --Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 12:06, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

edit Best Advice/Examination of Conscience I have come across on Uncyclopediia

Best bit of advice in a sea of advice. Should be required reading after a week on site.

I confess to 38 and 53 and several others based around irrational high dudgeon.

Lifted from Wikipedia ? one or two entries seem to be based on their values rather than ours( referencing/original research).-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 12:06, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

edit Images

Might I offer a little advice......copy the images that you are using to your hard drive and then upload them directly to the site so that you can use wikicode to make them into "thumbs" as has been done on the other images...hope that helps.... Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit Your UnNews story

I've moved your story to here because we don't like to have stubs hanging around in UnNews space. Ideas for stories can be added to the list on UnNews main page, section Stories being reviewed by Minitrue. In this situation, where you have something more than just a title in mind, you might solicit other writers through various channels across Uncyc and in IRC. Please let me know if I can help you with UnNews in the future. Read my welcoming drivel below for some idea on how to become a superior being within the UnNews organization. Cheers?! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 22:49, September 2, 2010 (UTC)

edit Welcome to UnNews

Che Ape

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Phrage, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

edit User:Phrage/UnNews:The Pope Aquatic

I gave it overnight but have now moved this to your userspace. If you finish it, you can move it back to UnNews. Spıke Ѧ 13:42 21-Sep-10

hanks -i tried to import a photo for it without success and then did not know how to spike an article

To delete any file, list it on UN:QVFD. If you want to get it out of the UnNews rotation fast, move it to your own userspace. Spıke Ѧ 14:00 21-Sep-10

PS--I recently gave a tutorial on importing photos. See my talk page, Sec. 23. Spıke Ѧ 22:01 21-Sep-10

edit UnNews:MinitrueHeadlines

Six times this month, you have added headlines to this page. They're promising headlines. But this isn't Minitrue; it's the page that explains what Minitrue is! So your contributions don't appear on the Front Page, inviting the user to flesh 'em out; they just appear, inexplicably, on the help page! You should click the plus/minus button rather than the "What's this?" button. Spıke Ѧ 00:36 30-Sep-10

Thanks -- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 16:01, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

edit Anne Frank's Tree

I Pee Reviewed User:Phrage/UnNews:Anne Frank Tree falls on Mosque -Palin says it is a Sign based on Revision 4727256 of 17:06, August 30, 2010. I hope this helps! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:01, October 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Salut mate

Je suis tres confused, qui le baise is Myles Kingston? C'est un big plaisir a meetre vous. Au next time. --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 19:46, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Quel vie shelteré que t'as mené ! Miles Kington( -Que mon spelling est sans care ! Fripon! Kington n'est que le Shakespeare(Agitateur de Lances) de Franglais -et un wit sardonique de la uncyclopediophilia de pre-history. Lisez his détails et weepez avec joie -- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 20:59, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

edit User:Lctmu/UnNews:Israel developed the virus 'Facebook' to undermine Iranian productivity

Anon submitted two today. One of them is in the 5-Spot on the Front Page, but this one isn't done and I mercy-moved it to Lctmu's userspace (address shown above). Perhaps talk with him and see if youse can do anything with it. Spıke Ѧ 18:04 18-Jan-11

edit Found something

Well, Socky did, actually. Looks like an unfinished news, though, like you'd just forgotten about it or something. I've moved it into your userspace so you can finish it if you're so inclined, or ignore it, or dispose of it... whatever you prefer. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 00:55, 17 March 2011

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