User talk:Peacebyjesus

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Rather than bitching. Write something. Write your own article about why Uncyclopedia is wrong. Make it funny. We will love it...



Welcome Peacebyjesus.

edit Welcome!

Hello Peacebyjesus, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!

So what's this message all about? Well, I know it looks like this was automatically generated, and well, OK... you caught me. I'm lazy, so I paste it in. But... if you have been sent this it does mean that I have noticed your contributions, and think that you're going to do some good stuff here. So who am I? Oh, just someone putting his nose in where it is probably not wanted...

Anyway, if you have not already, I SERIOUSLY recommend that you read the link below:

Probably the second most important link for a newcomer is:

  • How to be funny and not just stupid - Basically it's a guide to writing humours articles which has been edited and improved over time by the users of this site. It's not an insult, and it's well worth a look.

If you want to find out how we decide which articles to feature on the front page, check out the VFH page. Basically, we vote for them. Anyone can vote. Especially you! You might find VFH a useful page to look over as it gives an idea of the kind of standard which you need to reach if you want to get an article featured.

If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, try these:

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page (if this message has appeared in the last few minutes, I'm propablly still on-line). I am an admin, but if you already think I'm an asshole, try talking to another. If you think you are going to be around a while, and would like extra help on a more personal level, you just might be able to convince someone at the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program to take you under their wing. Check out this and browse our list of available mentors. Choose your victim and leave one of them a message on their talk page.

Remember to use the "Preview" button before you save your edits to make sure that the page looks as you want it. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

Again, welcome!  -- MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 01:26, Feb 22

edit You have bigger issues than Jesus being supposingly gay

He was a JEW. a FILTHY HERETIC JEW. How can you deal with that?!?!?! ~Jewriken.GIF 21:50, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

Easy. All you have to do is remember he was a gay Jew and therefore of even less significance than a normal filthy Jew. The only way a Jew like Jesus could be more worthless was if he was an andministrator on Uncyclopedia. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:34, 25 Feb
As Jews go Jesus was not exactly a very good Jew though. I mean, I'm sure there is something about not starting your own religion and claiming to be the messiah in the Torah. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 17:40, Feb 25
Everybody know gays don't read the Torah. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:45, 25 Feb

edit That thing you did?

Don't. The people around here seem to think that the First Amendment protects their speech or something, rather than just popular speech. I'm getting a little tired of them hiding behind the Constitution. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:32, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit This is on your webpage

"Conversely, in the true light of the Biblical Gospel of CHRIST, it would wrong for a true Bible-believing Christian to practice physical violence or coercion in bringing souls to yield to their Lord and Saviour, JESUS CHRIST, or to defend the faith."

So, are you going to remove that from your website?.....or are you going to continue coercing people with the threat of hellfire as well as defending the faith from the threat of my non-serious humor article called Gay Jesus? Are you a total hypocrite or a servant of the lord?--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  23:36, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

I find that some souls seem to be incapable or unwilling to understand context, which in this case was the use of physical means of coercion, such as in Islam or the Inquistions. As for invoking the negative consequences of sin, this is something Jesus clearly did, without the cultic means of psychological mind control such as cults are well documented to practice, but in contrast the Bible seeks to persuade souls, presenting compelling arguments which appealed to reason, and which left the decision up to the hearers. I myself am not a good candidate for psychological manipulation, and so despite your attempts to coerce, to intimidate and berate me into removing something you unreasonably want removed, while defending making a profane parody of Jesus, I have clarified what i meant and thank you for showing me how someone can misconstrue that. Peacebyjesus 12:21, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
Plain English sir. Physical violence OR coercion. You seem to like going to the dictionary so....... On Uncyclopedia, you would be attempting to apply psychological coercion with the threat of hellfire if someone doesn't remove a humor article that you find offensive. On your website, what is the point of the death counter? Same coercion, the threat of hell and punishment which you promote as just being the word of the prophets which you are kindly delivering. That's what the Jehova's Witnesses do - everything is based on the fear of being "left behind". Thanks for the "good news". You need to stop hiding behind god and claiming to represent the will of the lord/prophets/Jesus. You need to humble yourself and stop this ridiculous David Koresh bible quote game because the only people you're going to fool are the incredibly weak willed.
Yes, context. Frankly, I don't have a month or more to go through your usage of the bible to validate your actions. It would be a waste of my time because you've already made up your mind on a lot of things. Maybe I could make a case that Jesus doesn't like Comic Sans font to deliver the good news but that's just another stupid argument that could only happen in the context of an "organized" religion.--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  12:47, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
The "OR" is to differentiate between violence and coercion by like physical means, while also applying to cultic mind control. As for misconstruing a skull and crossbones on a jar of poison, or invoking the negative consequences of an action of decision as being wrong, then you not only disagree with the Bible, but you will even have unsubscribe to any system of law, but which you scoff at anyway. But your real war is with the Bible, which does in fact warn you of the consequences of your blasphemy, and of all your "hard speeches" as you turn "the grace of our God into lasciviousness." (Jude 1:4,15) Peacebyjesus 13:13, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
There is no "war" with the Bible, only you. You keep hiding behind the Bible as if you represent it properly, which you don't. You also claim it to be the inherent word of god despite the obvious. That's dogma, not fact. To act like the bible is some kind of infallible document handed down from god is highly insulting to god. The Bible has the hand of man all over it! That doesn't mean I disagree with the foundation of law inherent within. It's a historical document with as much bias as every other ancient historical document. I understand the context of most of your vaunted rules and they've been interpreted far differently over time. There was a great, recent documentary on the 10 Commandments. Oh, excuse me, 100 commandments. It's awfully nice to see everything that's been edited or altered by men. You would be one of those people who stand in between the word of god and "laypeople" because we're all too stupid to figure it out ourselves. Slavery? Not a problem according to the bible! I especially love all the items which protected the poor being erased too. God would have to be INSANE to expect a rational person to believe that the bible was tediously pieced together by the divine will of a being that created the universe when it's clearly been heavily edited by micromanaging, sociopathic homophobes. Yeah, everyone becomes magically infallible when they're touching the bible and altering its meaning. You're doing it right now. My god is bigger and smarter than that. Men like you have been manipulating the bible for centuries. You dare to dangle punishment in front of others? Keep up the good work because you're doing a great job of making your god look like an idiot. --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  13:44, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
The Ten Commandments are lifted straight out of the Egyptian book of the dead. Go and research that Peacebyjesus. Seriously, I dare you to look into that. Maybe if you do it will cast the light of the world onto your understanding of the bible. Oh, another thing about the bible... The bible is the word of God. The point you miss is that GOD is GOOD. Really. As you have been told elsewhere on this Wiki by another administrator (Mordillo) to kindly keep your opinions to yourself from now on I suggest you go and do some actual REAL research into what the bible really is, and where it really comes from. This might be a good place to start, but to really find the truth, you need to look at lots of different sources and cross reference, and compare what a lot of different people say. TIP: You can't find that out from reading the bible. Until you have actually learnt something about the history of the bible, and until you actually decide to contribute something constructive to this wiki such as writing an article (why don't you?) then kindly leave us alone now. You avoided our questions which you could not answer, and we have comprehensively debunked your ridiculous claim that our articles are against God, and you have nothing further to add. Please either leave this place, or contribute something more than quoting passages from a book written by men about what is good. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 18:21, Mar 3
You are an interesting (and it seems, lonely for company) but impenitent group. In order to justify making a profane parody of Christ, you must negate the authority of the very source, and yet without an authoritative source you pontificate on what God/Jesus considers right or wrong!
As for doing research on the presumed weighty arguments against the Bible, you presume much,[1][2][3][4][5] and your selected attempt to make 42 various and varying (from tomb to tomb) negative Confessions of the Papyrus of Ani (spell 125)[6] the basis of the 10 commandments, as if some similarity is surprising considering Rm. 2, while the 3rd commandment condemns these statute-making people - and who manifested no sanctification of the Sabbath - is a desperate one! But it is you who specialize in morphing things, and multiple choice tests are always helpful. Make sure you don't steal the khenfu cakes from the Spirits of the dead, and never raise your voice.
All this as you continue making a mockery of the sinless Christ, while images of anyone committing pederasty is obscene, and yet you not only defend it based upon your own contrivance of Christ (cf. Rm. 1:23) but insolently attempt a higher moral ground. As you cannot bear your most warranted reproof, but seek to censure me, i must leave you to your own delusions. Peacebyjesus 14:38, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
I whizz all over your idols. --nldr 15:09, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
That's idolatry for you. Extra points for projecting his sins on others.--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  15:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
It must be great to be Jesus, dying for our sins all those years ago. Though it's why I can never accept a favour as a form of leverage, thus: "hay guise, do u remember that time i died for ur sins and that? yeah, well go get me a beer lol". --nldr 15:23, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
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