User talk:Ozymandiaz

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edit Welcome!

Hello Ozymandiaz, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!

So what's this message all about? Well, I know it looks like this was automatically generated, and well, OK... you caught me. I'm lazy, so I paste it in. But... if you have been sent this it does mean that I have noticed your contributions, and think that you're going to do some good stuff here. So who am I? Oh, just someone putting his nose in where it is probably not wanted...

Anyway, if you have not already, I SERIOUSLY recommend that you read the link below:

Probably the second most important link for a newcomer is:

  • How to be funny and not just stupid - Basically it's a guide to writing humours articles which has been edited and improved over time by the users of this site. It's not an insult, and it's well worth a look.

If you want to find out how we decide which articles to feature on the front page, check out the VFH page. Basically, we vote for them. Anyone can vote. Especially you! You might find VFH a useful page to look over as it gives an idea of the kind of standard which you need to reach if you want to get an article featured.

If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, try these:

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page (if this message has appeared in the last few minutes, I'm propablly still on-line). A list of administrators can be found here. If you think you are going to be around a while, and would like extra help on a more personal level, you just might be able to convince someone at the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program to take you under their wing. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave one of them a message on their talk page.

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

Again, welcome!  -- MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:08, Mar 16

edit HaHaHa!

We saw that. Don't try and pretend we did not. :P HeHe. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 15:28, Apr 1

Saw what? --Ozymandiaz 15:32, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
Big brother is watching. When he can be arsed anyway. On a more serious note, removing stuff from talk pages is generally not a good idea on here. As you did not do that though (obviously) I guess there is no problem. ;) MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 15:37, Apr 1
I wouldn't dream of doing it on anyone else's talkpage but I can remove stuff from my own, surely.

edit Megalomaniac

You have the start of a fantastic article. Could I suggest you put it up for Pee Review as it has some strong potential but it's not there yet? Pup 01:52, 30/10/2009

Just so you don't miss the response - User_talk:PuppyOnTheRadio#Thanks Pup

edit So I write shit articles, but you're greatness is adding retarded quotes to my work...

Thanks for the tip, now I know where I've been going wrong. I must ask you politely to not revert back to that version again. Thanks.--Sycamore (Talk) 18:23, December 27, 2009 (UTC)

edit Re: Delete that category and you shall have me to answer to.

Have just done so (nominated it, at least) and saw your comment two minutes later in preparing a comment in the current nomination that I had raised the issue last week in another VFD nomination. I bare my neck and hope you will understand to just give a play bite. Why in hell shouldn't at least the name of the said Category be changed to something useful? Spıke ¬  01:19 5-Jan-10

conversation moved to User talk:SPIKE

Well, I guess I should be buying the first round of e-pints down the e-pub! Spıke ¬  22:01 9-Jan-10

edit Here's the thing...

As you have admitted yourself you have a bit of a hot head and tend to rush into making edits which are designed to provoke an aggressive response. We REALLY don't like that on Uncyc. When people say things in fun, and they know the user they are dealing with will take what they are saying as a joke then it's totally fine. With you, I sometimes just can't tell if you are really trying to start a fight, or if you are just joking. I think more so that you are actually trying to start a fight most of the time.

Here's the thing... Next time you feel the need to say/type something nasty to another user... Stop. Walk away from the computer, and wait for 10 mins. If then you feel the need to still say something after that, then do so, but hopefully you will be more careful with your words, and will be less likely to cause drama. We REALLY don't like people who generate drama here. It's very distracting from editing for the other users. As for the specific issue with Under user... If an article gets featured at VFH it will be because it passed a vote at VFH. Complaining to an admin about it is totally pointless. You need to complain to EVERYONE who voted, which basically means that you disagree with the overall will of the wiki. Some of our articles are offensive to some users. Those who have been here a while know that this is something which they just have to learn to deal with as it's an inevitable consequence of being on a wiki where we promote free speech. You either need to accept that fact, or leave. I hope you are able to accept it, as I think the vast majority of what you do here is great, and I enjoy having you around most of the time. Feel free to complain about this ban if you wish, I will not block you more for complaining and I will not block you for what you do on my talk page, but I seriously recommend you take some time to think about what I'm saying. That's why I have given you a 3 day break.

Thanks. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:17, Feb 16

edit You just reverted the Poopsmith!

I think Sycamore saved yo' ass from another ban. Spıke ¬ 16:15 31-Mar-10

Actually, he reverted an admin on VFD, keep up Spike. Ozy - I don't know how many times you've been told by different admins that you need to STOP REVERTING PEOPLE and start thinking before you press the undo button. Reverting an admin while he's archiving a done VFD vote is one of the most annoying things you can do. I'm getting tired of getting back to your page and seeing those repeated messages. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:20, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 20:19, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 1 May

Brought to you by fucking magic. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:42, 1 May 2010

Thanks Socky. --Ozymandiaz 13:06, May 1, 2010 (UTC)
You're welcome, Ozymandiaz. Sorry about that little disagreement on Chairman Mao. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:28, 24 June 2010
There is nothing to apologise for. I'm sorry I called you a dickhead. Those were hasty words. --Ozymandiaz 15:40, June 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit That Oprah quote

The Oprah quote you took off over 9000 was actually real! It's what she said, or approximately, when she was quoting the site which made the meme then take off into the innerneststratosphere. So it was the most real thing on the page! By the way, I'm the author of Anne Hathaway, and it was featured on the front page for two days, not just one. Ha ha ha ha ha, two days. Well, good to meet you, and if you like Science Fiction the Colonization this month is Sci-Fi, contact Puppy, he's heading up the writing. Aleister unchained 12:17 4 5 MMX

Same with that Monkey-Fighting Planes one from the Samuel L. Jackson article. It's what he says in the TV edit of Snakes on a Plane. Ridiculous but true. Youtube it for a lul. --Matfen 17:59, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
I don't believe it. Monday to Friday plane? Lol! Thanks Matfen. --Ozymandiaz 23:55, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:28, 24 June 2010

edit All the news that's unfit to print!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 12:04, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Godwin's Law?

I've been inspired to write an article about a twat who invokes Godwin's Law, without having a clue as to it's meaning. Oh, wait... that's you! Invoking Reductio ad Hitlerum as a way to bolster your argument made you look like an idiot [1]. You're obviously one of those self-important, mewling douche bags passing yourself off as insightful and above the judgment of others. This is a community, dickbag. Disrespecting admins, like disrespecting anybody in general, will ultimately make you the loser. The only real difference, as far as you should be concerned, is that I can ban you permanently if I feel like it. Fair warning; stop being such a dick. Cheers! The ever-watchful Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:57, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Dickbag......I love that term. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
I love it and reserve it for very special idiots only. When in a pinch, one may substitute "spoutless douche bag". Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 00:57, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Lose? I don't lose. Ever. Look up the definition of Godwin's Law and you'll find that it entails the following:

"... a humorous observation made by Mike Godwin in 1990 which has become an Internet adage. It states: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches."

I in my infinite knowledge brought up Nazi Germany in relation to the dread Uncyclopedians have of SS like admins, such as you, Heimlich. I however, prefer not to follow the ordinary ways of thought and if that makes me a dick then suck me or ban me. --Ozymandiaz 17:24, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

I think you stopped being amusing just about a line ago. You try to do ban evasion this time, this ban will become infinite. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:22, July 8, 2010 (UTC)
  1. Revision history of "User talk:SPIKE"
Matthew Chapter 4 verse 7. Look it up! --Ozymandiaz 22:49, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

edit Signpost: normal service resumed

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:47, Jul 9

edit Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:46, 16 July 2010

edit Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 13:46, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:40, 5 August 2010

Thank you for your consistence and reliability Socky. --Ozymandiaz 22:49, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

edit Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 11:49, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit You people must be really masochistic

Do you honestly think banning me repeatedly is going to make me lick your boots? I’m not here to argue and I’m not here to target admins with random outbursts. I’m here to make friends and to donate my unique brand of humour and if you don’t like it, too bad. Uncyclopedia is for everybody and as you’ve probably realised, I have a strong sense of justice. I don’t bow to petty rules that are there to keep the rabble in check and I don’t fawn and scrape to admins with chips on their shoulders. If someone offends me, no matter what their rank, I will confront them. If someone insults me, I will insult them back. I speak to people of authority on equal footing because I am not a sycophantic circle-jerker. If I see someone being unjustly persecuted, I will go to their defence, despite ingratitude on their part. There seems to be a disturbingly collectivistic, legalistic and authoritarian mindset on Uncyclopedia and it just won’t do. I hope you all realise how things are going to work around here from now on and I hope for your sakes that you start treating me with the considerable respect I deserve and in return you will be rewarded. This is not Nazi Germany (forgive me for again invoking Godwin's Law). Thank you for reading and happy editing. --Ozymandiaz 01:33, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Your penchant for comparing everything you dislike to Nazi Germany is offensive. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 11:46, August 29, 2010 (UTC)
Hey Ozymandiaz! --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 03:12, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
I agree with every point you make, however its a two way thing. Mutual respect has to be earned by both parties on an individual level. Making sweeping statements that we are legalistic or authoritarian seems to be setting a tone that appears to be somewhat closeminded and set into an unbending view that is likely to colour relationships here, and that can't be a good thing. All of us are judged on a daily basis by our actions here, I too have a strong sense of justice and of fair and honourable behaviour. Although sometimes I fail in meeting my high ideals I would like to think that I interact with people in a fair way, and likewise I appreciate it when people return the same. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Hey Froggy. Well Mhaille, you've certainly dealt with me in a fair and just way and you're the first person to do so in a long time so thank you. Changing the subject, I'm currently working on an article about psychopathic behaviour in cats which I hope you'll all enjoy! After that, I'm thinking a news piece about Jabberwocky being on the endangered species list which should be fun. --Ozymandiaz 20:40, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Do you proofread yourself? Do you understand that what you say above is equivalent to, "Hi. I'm new here, and don't know how to do things properly. I want to make friends. I will do anything I feel like doing because I am opinionated. I will fuck with anyone I see as a fit target, admins included. Now like me, read my great articles and kiss my ass?" Since you brought up your Apergers (as an excuse for bad behavior?), I will tell you I raised an Aspie kid to adulthood and have Aspie nephews. I may even be an Aspie myself. I am almost as old as Dr. Asperger, I suspect, and I've never bothered to be tested. I understand you in ways you aren't mature enough to appreciate. Your "high ideals" are yours alone. Don't push yourself on others the way you feel pushed upon by the rest of the world. That's called being a dick. Be a dick and I'll ban you permanently. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 11:44, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

Gentlemen, I give you a collectivistic, authoritarian legalist. Now to dissect the specimin. No I did not bring up my Asperger's an excuse for bad behaviour, unlike yourself, though frankly I think you're more likely to have something akin to Dickbag syndrome than Asperger's. I do indeed proofread myself and what I wrote above says something along the lines of "I am nobody's wnhipping boy, you cross my path, you pay - be nice and I'll be nice back." Observe: above Mhaille offered constructive criticism and treated me with respect. I did so back. You're the only one who's pushing on others, you're the dick around here, now stop antagonising me, take your issues of masculinity to a good psychiatrist's office and have a nice day. Finally if you don't like Nazi Germany then how about Soviet Russia? --Ozymandiaz 14:13, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 12:43, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

edit Reactivating Your Account

Since you have received a feature for this, I decided to remove the block on your account first imposed by an admin who is now no longer active on Uncyclopedia. This means you can vote for your own article in September's top 10. Don't return to past battles please and I trust this will encourage future positive contributions. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:20, October 11, 2012 (UTC)

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