User talk:Orion Blastar

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edit Archived Talk Page

I have decided to time travel again, see you later. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:48, 1 October 2068 (UTC)

edit Happy Hanukkah

edit A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

Festivus-card Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:20, Dec 21

edit Orion!

I'm so glad to see you're still here! How are you? --T. (talk) 22:44, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

I am still disabled and sick, but I am still alive and still here. Sorry for not being too active, but life is hard for me these past few years. I've had friends and family die, and I've gotten sick and I am trying to limit my Internet use because it is an addiction I am trying to break. I am trying to be more mindfull of others and try not to let my mental illness take control of what I write and say. For example, I am trying to learn meditation to improve myself. I have a lot of work to do. But every once in a while I check in here and see my watchlist and remove those "x is gay" and other vandalism that happens on the articles and revert them. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:09, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
I am sorry to hear things have been rough, but encouraged that you are still actively working at it. Meditation can be very useful. Are you familiar with the concept of mindfulness? It can be a very helpful exercise for staying in the present moment and not getting wrapped up in thoughts and feelings that are harmful. Let's keep in touch. --T. (talk) 23:25, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
Thank you I will consider it. I have had thoughts and feelings that were harmful to myself and others in the past, so it is something I do need to work on. I tried channeling it into my sense of humor but that didn't work and all I did was upset people. Because I am mentally ill it is hard to learn meditation and mindfullness and I will try. I heard a Buddhist Monk say it took him six years to learn it, for me it might take more as I am not a Monk and I have mental illnesses. Thank you for thinking of me, you've been a good friend since I first joined Uncyclopedia and started to work with others to be funnier and get along as well. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:46, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
I am your friend. I've always found you extremely approachable and likable.  :) The fact that you own your mental illness is admirable, so long as you don't start mistaking everyone around you for sane people. Mental health is continuum, and varies for everyone over their lives. Me, for example: I had to learn to understand myself from the inside out some time ago. I've struggled with depression on and off since before I understood what it was... Since before I understood that the way I was feeling wasn't 'normal'. On a couple of occasions as a younger person I can recall being behind the wheel of a car and realizing: "I have the power of my own death in my hands. Do I want to make it home today, or do I want this pain to just... stop?" For long periods of time it was hard to get out of bed in the morning. But you keep waking up and thinking: "I'm alive. I've chosen to keep living. Now, I'm going to go live." Wake up in the morning with a plan: I'm reading that book today, I'm writing that story, I'm volunteering at..., I'm walking the dog to... wherever. And so long as you're trying each day — with purpose and structure shaping your day — that's all you can do.
And remember you're important to other people. I may have been busy with life for the last while, but you still crossed my mind more often than you know. ^_^ --T. (talk) 01:16, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
Well thank you for thinking about me, I think about you as well some times. I know you had it rough for a while and had to take a break from Uncyclopedia. I try to make it one day at a time, and each day is a challenge. I have a wife and son that needs me as well as other family members and friends. Most of what I can do for them is fix their computers for free or train them how to use the computer better. I need to learn how to develop my skills and abilities to start up a small business with friends and family members as I have a problem holding jobs because people don't understand my mental illness and you are right not everyone is sane either and might be struggling with their own problems or mental illnesses as well. But I feel that coming out and admitting to having a mental illness and trying to own it and own up to it not only helps me but other people as well. I need to work on my physical health as well and lose some weight and try to get rid of this high blood pressure and maybe work out an exercise program. I haven't done that yet and when I get sick it is hard to do. Every time I do diet and exercise and lose weight I tend to gain it back. Some people say it is because I don't eat organic or natural food, and that is something I had pondered to change. But I am not sure how to do that. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:34, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

edit Well done

I liked your take on my idea to have FOX link Health Care and Celebrity Deaths. You took it in a much better direction that I could think of. Keep up the good work!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:54, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Thank you, I always try to do my best. Sometimes it ends up in VFD, other times it ends up a lot better. I think I was channeling Glenn Beck in that Unnews piece for Fox News. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 02:37, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

edit CONGRATULATIONS FROM THE GOA TSE CLAN!

Your company have been listed in the Uncyclopedia Stock Exchange! GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 09:04, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Approved

Job and account approved at central bank! Central Bank

edit Central Bank

I'm giving you a promotion. Your security guard. Whenever we get robbed, you find the money. Your salary has gone up. Da man360 HAPPY 02:08, 19 July 2009!

I guess that means I just pirate back the money from the robbers? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 02:34, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
Sure. Da man360 HAPPY 05:38, 19 July 2009!

edit Uncyclopedia Stock Exchange: Your company shares have fallen

I hate to say this, but your dividends have been reduced because the shares have went down dramatically. The reason for the drop in SPSD shares is because no one liked to buy your products and you haven't distributed your products to your stores. So unless you start having your company producing and marketing the products, the enitre stock market will drop dramatically, and we will have a stock market crash like in 1929.

Your shares are now worth: $12,692,221. GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 08:06, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

OK so how do I do all of that? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 16:10, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
Just make pictures of your products. GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 07:10, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
I am not that skilled with paint programs to make my own pictures. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 19:13, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
I am trying to add them from images off the Internet. Not all products will be available until I can get a picture or paint a picture for them. This is hard because I am disabled. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 21:08, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
Good news, Orion Blastar. Your stocks have now increased to $87,215,692. GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 09:20, 31 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Channel 360

Come check out Channel 360 we got lots of interesting stuff there! While you're there be sure to check it's news station too! Da man360 HAPPY 00:36, 24 July 2009!

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created Rambo, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


Thumbs up2

This user created Holy Bible: Revised Neocon Edition, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


MadMax 18:19, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

edit From Zim's talk page

A little unsolicited advice from myself here as well. It doesn't read like a news article, and misses out on a couple of potential style points that could make a major difference. Spelling and grammar are not too bad, but it feels clumsy, for the want of a better word. And formatting leaves a little to be desired.
I've copied a version of it and put it here as a temporary thing to show you what I would change with the formatting.
The first issue is the graphic in the bottom left was not animated on my browser, which is not completely up-to-date, but is less than a year out of date, which means that it's a fairly good example of an "average" browser experience. Now this can be fixed by editing the graphic and changing the size of the original file so it fits in with what you are planning. This is probably my preferred method of dealing with this, but that may not be the only issue with it. The second issue is that you've put your images in there as [[Image:File name.ext|thumb|align|caption]] which means that you are allowing the Wikimedia rules to determine the size of the image, rather than controlling it yourself. Here I have determined the sized of both images, and they cover the same area, meaning that they are the same "size". (Area of image = width in pixels * height in pixels.) One of the issues with this image though is that it is an animation. While I do use animations, I try to use them sparingly, as the star should be the text, not the graphics. The left and right motion of this one is distracting and effectively nauseating while I'm trying to read. You may want to re-think the use of this one.
Second thing in the formatting is having the image hanging into the next section, forcing the header of the section to be pushed to the right of the screen. {{-}} is a really handy template to stop this sort of thing happening.
Next thing is the writing style. A news article has a couple of things that it tries to do. The first is to convey as much meaning as possible with as few words as possible. The other thing that a tabloid article tries to do is use powerful, emotive words to give as much punch as possible. Your opening is:
Cquote1 Recently Bill Gates had Steve Ballmer had their kids meet together over at Gate's mansion. The kids got together and went into one of the many rooms in the house that had computers in it, and they locked the doors and took some laptops and other things from out of their bags. This made Gates and Ballmer upset. Cquote2
Okay, that first sentence is grammatically incorrect to start with. Secondly the word Recently is redundant and unspecific. The second sentence is very wordy and clumsy, and doesn't roll comfortably off the tongue. The last sentence of the three is a very soft sentence for something that should pack punch. This reads like a short story, rather than a news item.
So cutting this and mixing it up a little, let's try this as an option.
Cquote1 Microsoft founder Bill Gates and CEO Steve Ballmer have uncovered the use of products made by arch-rival Apple by their children.

According to inside sources, during a recent get together in the Gates mansion, the children secreted themselves into one of the many rooms. Gates, using his CCTV monitoring system, uncovered their use of forbidden laptops and software. Both men became irate upon discovery.

Cquote2
}
Okay, I've rushed that a little, but it conveys the same meaning, gives a little more information about the two men (so that the unenlightened reader can access the story), gets rid of a few of the weaker words and phrases (recently, some things, upset) while using a few more emotive words to generate a reaction from the reader (arch-rival, secreted, irate).
And I'm going back to my original suggestion above - get this PEE reviewed. If you are worried that it's going to be huffed, copy it to your user-space and get the version there reviewed. I would probably then ask that the original be huffed, as you'd be better off people reading this the first time when it's polished and ready rather than half done but with potential.

Sorry that I've indented the above, but I started to put it on Zim's talk page and then thought to move it here, and I can't be buggered fixing it. Pup

edit Martians

Thanks for writing an article based on my Minitrue suggestion! I hope you don't mind that I cleaned it up a little bit. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 05:58, Dec. 21, 2009

That is what a Community Open Source CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0 Wiki is all about. I don't mind other people cleaning up my articles. In fact I encourage it. Thanks for the suggestion for the UnNews story, I ran with it and did what I could. The cleanup was great. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 16:17, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

edit IWETHEY

I moved it per your request and the VFD vote. It's here, so I didn't have to huff the existing copy of the page you already have in your userspace. Have fun! --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:50, Dec 24


edit Orion are you alright?

You last email yesterday didn't make sense but I got one today about making that Buddha stuff for you. Did you want me to make it an article or unbook? I wasn't able to make out your schizophrenic typing enough to figure out what you wanted. I rewrote the IWETHEY page as you reqeusted using the rewrite version in your User Sandbox you linked to for me. Now I joined Uncyclopedia long ago because of you. I am being nice Orion, but I don't really understand if this is your last article before you quit or something else happens. I am sad to hear about your father having a brain tumor and lung cancer. I'll call you on your phone but it appears disconnected. When those trolls from Kuro5hin pranked called you and your wife and son for a week at 3am claiming to be a Dr. Menliogis or whatever when you had your colon cancer problem I think you changed your number and forgot to give me the new one. If I had it I could check up on you and see if you are alright. I think you still check your talk page, but I am unsure of that. I hope and pray everything is alright with you and your family and you must be going through a rough time. I also got that Classic Manager stuff you wrote at Kuro5hin and they trolled you for it, you wanted me to make an article out of that as well, right? While I cannot join Kuro5hin, I'll write here as it is a much better environment to write in. Take care Orion, I hope you are just sleeping or something and not in the hospital again. Your friend Loke. Loke 16:36, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Loke I am alright just very very sick. I've been sleeping most of the day, but yes I did get your emails. My father is getting sicker and may need an at home nurse or be moved to a nursing home. I am trying out a theory about music therapy or movies stimulating the speech center in his brain that the tumor is located at. This is our family illness based on my theory that causes these mental and physical illnesses. I don't have a lot of time to talk, but did want to say thank you for helping me fix and restore and rewrite the IWETHEY article you are a great friend for that. If I don't answer via email, please don't panic you will only make yourself upset. Remember that I am a space pirate ninja from the future and can survive anything thrown at me. :) Good luck Loke, please tell the others hello for me. Yes please develop the Buddha article into an uBook using deadpan and dada humor. The other one can be an Unbook as well, but that is your choice. I gotta go, my blood pressure is 192/94 and I need to clam down now which is why I am not on the computer often enough to answer email. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 22:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Yikes Orion those are serious issues. But I guess you get used to them as you said to me you had then since 2002 is that correct? I am clearly not as good a writer as you nor as imaginative but you do give me good ideas I can run with later. You take care of yourself Orion, I'll write this stuff for you eventually. Loke 13:43, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
Orion I know you don't come here much. But I heard about your friends bailing on you after they heard how sick your father was and how sick you where. They were not your true friends and only used you until you were of no more use to them. You are a good and supportive friend to me and others. I read what others wrote about you here, and you are a valuable member here. Get better and come back when you are healed up. I know some of them you considered your best friends, but when it came time for them to finally support you they showed their true colors, yellow that of a coward. True friends do not bail on you like that and you are better off without them. But you can easily replace them with better friends. I fully support you and your family and hope you come back here and write better. Loke 23:50, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
Loke man, settle down. I ain't dying or nothing. I just got a bad case of the flu that is making my schizoaffective disorder worse. Having my father in the hospital with his brain bleeding and a brain tumor and lung cancer isn't helping, nor are the trolls on Kuro5hin who pick on me and Crawford and others who are clearly mentally ill. Now take your time and work with others here to write those articles. When and if I get well I will gladly take over and rejoin Uncyclopedia and make a comeback. But too soon to say when and if that would happen. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 21:40, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Orion are you alright? I hear you had a brain tumor or something. How is your father doing, I hope and pray you both are alright. Just ignore the trolls that are after you, they cannot do anything to you that cannot be traced by the police or FBI but stay low for a bit off the Internet. Sorry for not being able to help you as I caught the flu and got busy at work to make up for my sick days. I'll help you out with your articles later. Kuro5hin and IWETHEY users are stalking you because they are jealous of your abilities, even when sick you still write and program better than they ever could hope to do. Which is why they target Michael Crawford and others as well. Loke 01:36, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Like Arnold said in "Kindergarten Cop" It is not a tumar! Just popped a blood vessel and needed some surgery to fix it. I also still have bronchitis my flu turned into bronchitis. I was worried for a while there as they thought it might be swine flu, but I got to the hospital ER before I died. If I died, I wouldn't be typing this now would I? My father is getting worse, the chemotherapy doesn't seem to be working well and he is not his usual self and it is making me depressed and worried and hard to think or concentrate. So I'll put off those articles for a while and see what else I can do. The VHL gave my father the brain tumor and popped a blood vessle for me. But otherwise it is hard for a member of my family to die. I learned that the VHL blood clots caused a fast healing factor and stops any blood by clogging it up, so I am like Wolverine but my healing factor is not as fast and doesn't regrow body parts. I do have his anger issues though but no claws and adamtium skeleton. Thanks for working on my articles for me and reverting vandalism and such. Let me see what I can do for your articles. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 20:33, May 4, 2010 (UTC)


Anyway we had a death in the family recently and my father is in the hospital and really sick, and I am soon to go into a hospital myself yet again. Sorry I cannot spend more time here to help everyone out. I hope I could have at least fixed a few articles and made them funnier. But my time is limited in this life and I might die soon myself unless I find a way to get healthier. I am better off dead anyway even if I am not suicidal. This is a crazy world that makes no sense to me anymore. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 11:56, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

edit HowTo:Be a conservative

Just read your rant on the talk page and almost suffocated laughing. Genius. Hope you are well. :) --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 13:34, October 19, 2012 (UTC)

I am still recovering from my mental and physical illnesses. I am working on a few ebooks and keeping busy. Thanks for the praise, I hope you didn't laugh too much. My conservative rants even fool Poe's Law and people think they are real. One time at Uncyclopedia we invaded Conservapedia to insert jokes into their articles. Many went with the liberal rant or mocking conservatives and they got banned. I did a few conservative rants and said the opposite of what news sites I cited like the conservative blogs did, I thought I would get banned, instead I was nominated for some award and told to "keep up the good work" on the articles. I quit Conservapedia after that as I got too scared to use it. Orion Blastar (talk) 22:26, December 21, 2012 (UTC)
Thanks for dropping by OB to let us know how you doing. Some may think this website is a cold and heartless place and they would be...wrong. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:47, December 31, 2012 (UTC)
This is a very warm and heartfelt place. Thanks for thinking about me. Orion Blastar (talk) 15:11, December 31, 2012 (UTC)
Seriously? I thought you meant every word. I was laughing at how well you skewered the liberals. So to speak. --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 13:25, May 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit Hi

Long time, no see! Welcome back to the wiki (at least one of them). You see, some of our community decided Uncyclopedia would be better off if it went to independent hosting, and the wiki forked January 5th 2013. But some of us still hang out here, and your contributions are welcome both here and at the fork. Check out Wikipedia's entry on Uncyclopedia for the new URL if you want to know where they forked off to. I hope you decide to help out both places like I do. I'm an admin here now, and so is SPIKE. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:58, February 20, 2013 (UTC)

Congratulations on the promotion. I'm trying to get back into writing after being sick for a long time. My father passed away in 2010 and I've been in a big depression over it. I am trying to cheer myself up and go back to my roots here at Uncyclopedia or the fork that I can use to eat a pie with or something. My Kindle ebook flopped but I am rewriting it, and taking my time. But I can do some writing for Uncyclopedia or the fork to better sharpen my skills. Orion Blastar (talk) 00:34, February 21, 2013 (UTC)
A welcome return Orion. All Uncyclopedians are free to contribute to either site, one site or none at all. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:50, February 21, 2013 (UTC)
Or at the mirror... (they always seem to forget.)                               Puppy's talk page02:38 21 Feb 2013
I cannot forget the mirror, I am always trapped on the wrong side of the mirror. On the right side of the mirror are my car keys, TV remote control, missing socks and other stuff I cannot get to from my side of the mirror. It is sort of like being trapped in a 1970's "KANSAS" album or something. Orion Blastar (talk) 03:10, February 26, 2013 (UTC)
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