This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. The current version of this page can be found at User talk:Orian57.
Sorry that sounded kinda snooty, I didn't mean it to but basically, I'm better than you. Worm. Orian57Talk01:04 16 June 2009
I knew that. I was trying to say it sarcastically. You've obviously been here much longer than I have. I haven't even been here long enough to be a contender in the top 10 of the year, but I have high hopes about HowTo:Get Over Jenny for 2009. DonPuttanocHeDDs 01:12,16June,2009
Oh right. Well don't get them too high. ;-) Orian57Talk01:19 16 June 2009
Thank you for crushing my dreams. DonPuttanocHeDDs 01:41,16June,2009
I'm not trying to be mean, but personally, I thought the sandcastle one wasn't that good. Staircase CUNt 01:43, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
I was kidding Cheds! Hence the wink. Orian57Talk01:50 16 June 2009
And I'm not gonna drink bleach. It's your problem if you didn't like it not mine. :) Orian57Talk01:50 16 June 2009
I know you were. I should make my sarcasm more obvious. <sarcasm>I hate you big meany!</sarcasm> And I liked Nursery a bit better than the sandcastle one. I was also disappointed to see the Device didn't make the Top 3. That was one of the funniest I've read this month. Made me actually laugh out loud at my comp a few times. DonPuttanocHeDDs 01:56,16June,2009
Oh well, I personally had loads of fun writing both Sandcastle and Nursery but liked Sancastle a lot more, felt a bit more like I'd intended to write it rather than just lifted it out of thin air (in fact both were). I actully think it deserved the top three, flattered it got number one, though (I actually expected The Device to get that). And people say "it actually made me lol" like it's a rareity, I normally laugh out loud when I read articles. Orian57Talk02:12 16 June 2009
I rarely LOL. I usually LQTS (that's a coined term, you must pay me before using it) DonPuttanocHeDDs 02:21,16June,2009
What does it mean though? Orian57Talk02:25 16 June 2009
I know, right? But when that becomes the most commonly used acronym on the web, remember who cam up with it. DonPuttanocHeDDs 02:58,16June,2009
Yeah but you forget, it's on my property. Orian57Talk03:00 16 June 2009
I came up with that a long time ago, before I even started here on Uncyc. You think you're the only one I told it to? DonPuttanocHeDDs 03:05,16June,2009
If I were you I wouldn't have told anyone... *snigger* looser. Orian57Talk03:15 16 June 2009
If I didn't tell anyone, there wouldn't be much of a chance of it becoming famous now, would there? DonPuttanocHeDDs 03:24,16June,2009
No. No, no there wouldn't. Orian57Talk03:35 16 June 2009
I'm actually thinking of using that on my Facebook, and telling my friends too. When it gets famous, remember these words. Also, have you ever tried drinking and chewing gum at the same time? Lot better than you think. ~~SirFightstarRocks!CUN 05:18, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Yes actually, I almost died. Orian57Talk05:20 18 June 2009
Ditto Cheddar's Congrats
And also, I seem to have noticed a few people doing something special when people archive. I can't remember how it goes, but was it something like "RAAAPPEE!!!!"? No? Oh well. Sorry for the mess. Nameable • mumble? 17:37, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, something doesn't seem all that right about me raping a gay man. DonPuttanocHeDDs 18:00,16June,2009
Oh ok thanks, I'll try and rememeber to do that myself next time. Orian57Talk14:04 17 June 2009
no worries. i haven't got around to reading it or voting on it yet, but i'll get there soon. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:11, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
Ok, cool. Hope you like it, I had alot more fun writing it than Snow White, which is tommorow's feature, and it isn't doing nearly as well. :/ Orian57Talk14:15 17 June 2009
i haven't looked at that one yet, either. i got rather behind on my VFH voting and i've missed the last week or so. anyway, i'm taking a look at Writing via our lovely pee review machine. might you care to trade reviews and take a quick look at Wild Bill Hickok if you have time? i realize it's quite a long bugger, so a quick review would serve just fine. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:35, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
I'll see what I can do, might be quite a bit later though. Got to thank people for their votes and I promised to look at something else for someone and I'm already late with that. But yeah, thanks for getting to the review and I'll do my best to return the favour. Orian57Talk14:39 17 June 2009
Hanging around as I do this on all of your new talkpage pages when I'm not away
Because having conversations are winner. Some things: I have a new computer/bot/totalitarian n00b to take care of. I let go of meh dahter so I could have grandchildrens. I'm wanting to know if Tri is also my child. <insert climatic TV-season-finale-like-crap here> MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (19:45 06-17-2009)
I think I mentioned under Tri's header on your page that he hasn't been seen for months, so don't hold your breath. Also, hello. Kick back, crank some meth and relax while I call the cops -- filthy drug mule! Orian57Talk19:53 17 June 2009
Oh crap, since April? He wasn't blocked either? And you're calling the cops? Good luck having them trying to find the meth... I fed it to Yettie's dog (A BLAST FROM THE PAST =O ) MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (20:51 06-17-2009)
No he's just sort of drifted back and forth, that message on your talk page was january and he wasn't around between feb and april either. And yeah, Yettie dropped in a while ago too. voted on some of my recent features and then silence. But you came back! Orian57Talk20:57 17 June 2009
Yes. And just before I made this awesome sig and an awesome subpage to celebrate my not so awesome 2 years here (joined July 2007). I'm creating a new signature about a week after my anniversary. MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (22:57 06-17-2009)
I see nothing wrong with new sigs. everyone likes mine it's still only a few days old. And yeah I breifly looked through your anneversery thing, had no idea you were that old actually. Orian57Talk05:22 18 June 2009
I am 16, I was just here since I was 14. /logic and making sense MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (16:42 06-18-2009)
No I meant I didn't know you'd been an Uncyclopedian for so long. I just said old for some reason, I knew roughly how old you were anyway. But yeah. cool. Orian57Talk16:45 18 June 2009
RT's been silent too, for some reason. I think we should leave another message on his talkpage, and if he replies we can say he's back (sort of). UnProvise hasn't been edited since I edited it. MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (16:54 06-18-2009)
Yeah I kind of, don't really care about it anymore though. And yes lets go bully RT Orian57Talk16:57 18 June 2009
Why? Will it think you've made upi your mind in the wrong - or at least less productive - way? fucking heteros. Orian57Talk17:31 18 June 2009
No, because no-one in my family tree has ever had three daughters, even fake daughters. MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (17:49 06-18-2009)
Oh. I have no idea how to react to this. Is it some gyspsy superstition or something? Orian57Talk17:51 18 June 2009
No, just something he made up at the top of his head while editing. SponsorshipSucks
Yeah I suspected so, I was just pulling shit out of thin air too. That's what a lot of the talk page stuff around here is. Just banter. So yeah how are you doing? You learned how to vote on VFH yet? Orian57Talk18:04 18 June 2009
Yeah, but I'll look around. VFD seems more of the choice for me, though. ~SponsorshipSucks !!! (18:24 06-18-2009) 18:15, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
You can do both, I was actually sort of hoping you'd vote on this. Orian57Talk18:54 18 June 2009
Well, I did, but I don't think it'll make it by tommorow. ~SponsorshipSucks !!! (19:19 06-18-2009)
??? It's not gonna be removed tommorow. Could potentially stay there for weeks, it still has 100% health, it just needs votes (Methy?) Anyway thanks very much for teh vote! Glad you liked it :) Orian57Talk19:23 18 June 2009
You know, If I vote for it, tomorrow its health will be at 100%. MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (19:32 06-18-2009)
Is that a "I'll vote tommorow" or are you meargly trying to make me think that? Orian57Talk19:34 18 June 2009
No, it's just something I put in a calculator. It will be at 100%, if not more, tomorrow. MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (19:36 06-18-2009)
Ok, thanks for you're vote! Orian57Talk19:37 18 June 2009
Ohmigod! Thanks! Glad you liked it! Orian57Talk22:28 18 June 2009
Not Whoring. Nope. No Whoring Here.
I was wondering if you could take a look at this, as it seems the sort of thing you might be interested in/appreciate. I don't even care if you vote for it or not, just read it, and let me know what you think (and then, I guess, vote one way or another). Thanks. —UnführerGuildyRittervonGuildensternenstein 16:26, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Left a vote and explaination. Sorry, although it's still looking pretty good. Orian57Talk02:10 19 June 2009
British Moon-Landing
Glad you like the article. I was thinkming of Pee reviewing a couple of others I did Tooth Fairy and Lady-Gardening (too British?) but no-one reviewed the other one I submitted so I can't be bothered. Still, if you really get bored let me know what you think. —The preceding unsigned comment was added bysog1970 (talk • contribs)
Wait do you want me to read something or review? This would make sense if I wasn't so tierd. I'm soo tierd. I can doo either when I'm awake. Wich will be tomorrow. Orian57Talk08:27 19 June 2009
I AM GOING TO FIND YOU IN REAL LIFE
AND BUY YOU A BEER! NO JOKE! ~ 09:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Can I haz a Popsicle then? Joeyaa 09:39, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Oh please don't. I'll get drunk an embarass myself. How about a coke, or Red Bull if I'm feeling adventurous (that's spelt wrong isn't it?)? Now I feel really guilty, knocking back your offer like that - I feel like I'm being awkward. Why can't I just drink alcahol like a normal person? Sorry. :/ Orian57Talk09:40 19 June 2009
OK then, I'LL FIND YOU IRL AND SHOVE A FLOWER IN YOUR HAIR! NO JOKE! ~ 09:46, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Is that a cue for a song? I don't have to sing-- oh right ok... Oh I wish I was a punk-rocker with flowers in my hair/ In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air/ I was born too late into a world that doesn't care/ Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair... please don't make me enter any competions... Orian57Talk09:49 19 June 2009
Ah! I have you know! I WILL FIND YOU IRL AND MAKE YOU GO INTO COMPETITIONS! NO JOKE! ~ 09:54, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Oh, dear... Couldn't you just rub some dogshit on my house and car instead? Orian57Talk09:55 19 June 2009
That's the thing involving the red-hot poker and the nasal passage and the removal of the brain therof, isn't it? I'd rather that didn't happen. Orian57Talk10:10 19 June 2009
OK, this joke is officially dead. Move along now. ~ 10:12, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
It was funny when you did it. Just not Moosh, he's that guy that bounds into rooms with a "Hi guys!" and enthusiasm for life, litterally killing any vibe that was going. damn him. And thanks again for the beer offer! Orian57Talk10:14 19 June 2009
You never offered me beer. You threatened to mummify me. Orian57Talk10:56 19 June 2009
Egyptian rape is forced fellatio, not mummification. And by the way, you really made me sad :/ Im crying in a corner now Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool11:03June19'09
Well that's still pretty bad. Knock you teeth out when they do that, don't they? Stops you from biting. Orian57Talk11:05 19 June 2009
And then wrap you up in a nice clean nappy to stop the bed getting wet? Mooshy. *snort* I'm telling everyone you still wet the bed. Orian57Talk13:13 19 June 2009
wow, you can snort already? And yes, I cum a lot and wet my bed. And I wear Pampers and proud of it :D Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool13:17June19'09
(start going back with the colons now, gives a fun wave effect) And wow. Really? Orian57Talk13:18 19 June 2009
Nope, can't say I know Manowar, they probably ae more conveinient for combat situations though. Orian57Talk14:02 19 June 2009
Whatever, enough jokes, insults and shit. I am working on this piece of shit and I need your feedback.. I came up with it after reading your Snowhite, but mine is still rough and clearly inferior, so I need your assistance Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool14:09June19'09
Cue joke about me liking it rough. But actually no, that looks kinda worse than what I have. I was kinda hoping to have what MrN has but in pink. It's ok if you can't get it to work, though, what I have will do. :) Orian57Talk13:55 19 June 2009
And I'll have a look later. Way to tierd to do anything useful right now though. Orian57Talk13:55 19 June 2009
Yeah, it's a little beyond my capabilities. The LGBT flag was easy, as it's six solid colors, but the UJ is harder because of the diagonal cross. Ah well, I tried. Saberwolf116 14:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I got your message--thanks
I confess, I skimmed the links. I guess I will have to spend some time actually reading them because your system is not easy to maneuver. I'll expand on my idea later. I am pretty busy in real life. Have a nice day! —The preceding unsigned comment was added byHestian (talk • contribs)
Ok, that's no problem. But in future, please respond to comments on the page they're posted. I'll have put it on my watch list and this help everything stay in one place, thanks :) Orian57Talk19:51 19 June 2009
This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordilloexclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran."
Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich!
Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1!
Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!!
People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains.
14:37, 11 June 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a nice stroll in the park (The only edit I can make on this website right now is blocking myself. Woohoo!)
15:42, 12 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for The Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Follow the yellow brick road to oblivion! Put on your red shoes and dance! dance! Ackowledge that you're no longer in Kansas, Toto. And yes I am the wicked witch of the west. I have a wart to prove it)
12:11, 16 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.101.164.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours (vandullism - and your cheese looks old and stale anyway. bring me something fresher. and a red onion chutney - let's do this properly)
Biopic of the Week
Sonje ~ Bursting onto the Uncyclpedia scene in March 2009, this spunky female user already has quite the impressive resume. Her sixfeaturedimages speak of her monumental potatochopping abilities, and she won consecutive Potatochopper of the Month awards. Yeah, that's right. Consecutive. We look forward to many more expertly manipulated images and other general awesomery from Sonje in the months to come.
Old School Featured Article of the Week
Continuing in the vaguely sandwich-related theme, Sausage Butty Batter Nuggets are a staple of English cuisine. With a complicated recipe that often leads to dangerous and/or hilarious consequences, this food is nevertheless a highly desirable meal for any self-respecting gentleman or lady in England, and is often served at croquet competitions and monocle-wearing contests. Pictured at right is the extra-crunchy West Country variety.
This Week in Uncyc, 3500 BC
The Great Pyramids of Giza, one of the greatest technological and engineering feats in human history, was parodied in the monthly Uncyclopedia newsletter Bird, Bird, Crocodile, Man With Dog Face, Bird, which was painstakingly written on papyrus reeds by dozens of slaves. In the periodical, the Pyramids were described as "just okay", and were depicted as a stepping stone to grander projects such as Great Cubes and perhaps even a Great Octagonal Prism.
Reason to Leave Uncyclopedia of the Week
#12: Space issues. With so many users returning, and Cajek refusing to grant access to the Cajek Mansion (which takes up over 60% of all Uncyclopedia's property), there just isn't enough room for us all.
...Signups you see for users called Helloworldmk70, Helloworldmk71; and Helloworldmk72... and greet them you do. Occur to you does it not that sockpuppets they are? Ready for adminship you are not. ;)
Just sayin'. I seem to remember you writing somewhere that you'd love to be an admin. Personally, I think that you should stick to writing funny stuff. As soon as you have this job, your writing duties are being multitasked with recent change page refreshes. And it's never the same after that. --T. (talk) 01:20, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
Sure it occured to me, but, as he/she/they hadn't done anything wrong I didn't see why not, one of those accounts might stick around and be useful perhaps his first two attempts as signing up had been typos. As for being an admin, not really, I'd just quite like to be able to joke ban myself. Orian57Talk01:25 22 June 2009
Assuming good faith is the right way to go, but context is also important. Given the amount of vandalism RDB's been contending with this evening, 3 signups that are obviously the same person should not be greeted. It's obvious wanking, "Hey look, here's my 70th, 71st and 72nd sock!" And by our 'no greeting the asshats' policy, we delete user and talk pages of permabanned users. It'll save us some deleting later if just ignore him now. When there are concurrent signups with different names, assume good faith. And I'm proud of you that you don't want to be an admin. I quit once, and they re-sysoped me. Mafioso bastards. --T. (talk) 01:41, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
Fair enough. Sorry about the mess. And yeah, as for writing funnies I've spent today wr-writing soem gamecruft into something that may eventually become fit for human consumption. But I was thinking that when putting my userspace version over teh article instead of just a copy-past scenario isn't there a way of merging the histories? Was just thinking that it'll help people identify the correct version to revert back to (or who to come see if there is some sort of revert war or something). It's just it's an article that gets a fair amount of vandalism. Orian57Talk01:51 22 June 2009
When I've done this, I've either just put "Revert to Here" in the edit summary, or made a lot of minor changes once I copied my text in (making it easy to see in the history where I 'took over'). Congrats on another feature. =) --T. (talk) 12:34, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
Yeah I bassically jsut did that. It was this article by the way, what do you think? And thank you very much, that was nomber 11! Orian57Talk12:36 22 June 2009
I just noticed that the Pop Song article probably should have gone first, but, no biggie. Wednesday, then. :P Not much sleep again last night. As to your new one, I'm absolutely the last person in the world who should evaluate video game parodies. I was never much into them... not sine my pre-teens anyway. Sorry. --T. (talk) 12:55, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
Perhaps, the idea was to try and make it accesable to people unfamiliar with it. On reflection it needs more work. And does this mean I have to change the date in my article list? Orian57Talk12:58 22 June 2009
Nah, pop songs will wait an extra day. It was getting to the front page sooner or later anyway. --T. (talk) 13:04, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
Oh that's a relief. Thought I might have to edit again. I'm running on no sleep so theres a whole multitude of things that could go wrong. Although I am probably going to be pretty much now. Orian57Talk13:07 22 June 2009
Yo
I have a problem with my UserPage. Its so dull. I just have a white background with three cool pick and lists. Its very boring to look at. So hopefully you can give me some tips on how to spice it up some, like you page, for example, its very cool. Thanks--Iwillkillyou333 06:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
Quite simple really. Use this line of code at the top of your page and it adds a back ground and a boarder: <div style="background: #F1C84D; border: 4px solid #FF6600; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> teh first colour will be your main background and the second is the boarder, thickness of the boarder can also be changed. For a handy list of colours and their codes/names (either work) go here. Theres also code for tidying up userboxes and videas (presumably pictures too), it goes like this:
the code for youtube videas, you get it from the adressbar on the video page, you can use the whole thing but you only need to use whatever comes after the "=". Does that all make sense, generally to learn code properly you just have to play around with whatever you find on other people's pages or sigs. Have fun! Orian57Talk07:54 23 June 2009
A couple ofmy earlier articles were encyclopedic, they just weren't spectacular. Once I got Insomnia featured though I just decided to write more articles in that style, mostly becuase I find that more fun to both read and write. Rescently though I've tried to do a few different things, such as an UnScript (which I won't link to because you'll vote against) and will probably continue doing those different things along with my first person stuff. Indeed I'm currently almost finished rewriting this abomination of an article useing Joshy again (although that'll be his last outing (until next time) even I know that the joke was kinda thin to begin with). And after that history of my writing I shall have a look at your article. And no, my writing style has little or nothing to do with my homosexuality, just becuase one is expanding doesn't mean the other has returned to the default (which actually isn't a default at all I was just being creative). Orian57Talk08:46 23 June 2009
Hey, the UnScript is awesome. Besides I can't be bothered voting against things now unless they really are just junk that took 2 minutes to make, and that was way too funny. Only thing you missed is the policeman with the token appallingly bad regional accent. It was probably the girl though. That loud mouth. Anyway, keep on doing your gaymosexual things because you're making great work. --SirDJ~Irreverent 12:19, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
COOL! :D I mean, that was probably the most agressive for I've ever had, but yeah, thanks! And also for the WotM vote. I shall indeed carry on with my "gaymosexual things", in fact, I think I've got another good UnScript concept. Revovles around more horrible Brit TV (although I'm confident other countries have the same sort of shit), I'll get back to you if it ever gets past ideas stage. Orian57Talk12:36 23 June 2009
Help with links?
I have a question about linking to other articles. I am trying to link to Circus peanuts and it's not working. I am following the directions as far as I can tell, but I must not be, in fact. Another possibility is that the links directions are really un-link directions. LOL. —The preceding unsigned comment was added byHestian (talk • contribs)
Ok so Circus peanuts. Really all you need to do is put two square brackets around the words you're turning into a link. eg:
[[Circus peanuts]]
advanced linking allows you to link to an article withought using those words in what you say. eg:
[[Circus peanuts|Peanuts]] turns out lie this: Peanuts
Under user has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.
And chill. Spanner! ;-) --UU - natter21:26, Jun 23
I AM CHILLED! You're the one that's hot! Orian57Talk16:54 24 June 2009
Hestian is my ex-wife
You need to know that the person who apparently you have offered to adopt, is here under false pretenses. She is my ex-wife, who has been stalking me for a long time through the net. Having googled my email addy, she found me here. She has no point here except to annoy me with her presence, while imagining that I'll interact with her here and get back together with her.
You may disbelieve this if you wish, you will see soon enough. --Clemens177 00:21, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
Well I must admit I was a little skeptical, but stranger things do happen. Anyway Modus seems to have blcoked her. Not really sure why you came to tell me, but yeah, sorry to hear you've got a mad ex. :/ Orian57Talk16:53 24 June 2009
Man, I don't know. He was around, sort of, a while back but has since dissapeared. And just for the benifit of Clemens, Yetties isn't a real ex, he was just like my best mate on here. Orian57Talk16:57 24 June 2009
Hi! How are you? We just seem surprised by the fact that there's an obsessive stalking ex-wife with erotomania who was just banned forever for those things. As normal, we pretend this never happened. MyAngryAnniversaryCelebration! Nice... (18:26 06-24-2009)
What never happened? Orian57Talk18:28 24 June 2009
Oh right, go to the my preferences link at the top right of the page. In the signature box put in {{subst:nosubst|User:Iwillkillyou333/sig}} and click the custom sig box, then just sign with the 4 tidles as normal. Orian57Talk19:57 25 June 2009
Something's gone wrong. You're leaking code all over the place, did you do everything I said above? check teh little box and have it exactly as I had there? If so then go ask someone else what's wrong because I've done all I can. :/ Orian57Talk22:48 25 June 2009
That's good. Glad to have helped! Orian57Talk06:31 26 June 2009
Review?
I asked Under User, but he's on vacation, and recommended I ask you to do it and bug you until you do (I probaly wont). Its this--- TALKWhat's it like to be a heretic? 02:29, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
I'll see what I can do, but I haven't ever heard of the man. Orian57Talk08:35 27 June 2009
My intention wasn't to be harsh. Just honest. I hope IWKY realises that too. Orian57Talk21:53 27 June 2009
I think he's fairly level headed, and it's not that far from the advice I'd already given. (Although I haven't read the funny band article myself - not my scene.) I'm just thinking that the topic has a significant potential for high parody, even if the execution was a little rushed. I was more thinking of the score then the comments to be honest. I have to say I enjoyed reading that more than a substantial number of other pages. Pup
Yeah I just make up my scores, they're rarely consistant. However I stand by what I said, and the comments are always more important than the scores anyway. And of course it is an opinion thing. Orian57Talk22:05 27 June 2009
Actually, while we're on the topic of review, due to the fantastic work of a fellow n00b, this never ended up getting done. I'm not in any mad rush to have it completed by a time frame, but I was waiting on feedback from Lateral Thinking as I figured that may also help me out with Parallel Thinking and Six Hats and where ever I go next with the series. I don't want to just go and edit the PeeReview page, and I didn't want to just put this up again without knowing that it's the best way to go, so how do I go about getting this back in the queue? (Apparently there's another 7 or so articles that had a similar treatment to mine that may also need a little TLC...)
Thanks
Thanks for reviewing Tooth Fairy. I agreed with pretty much all of it. So I've adapted it. Didn't really see any significant difference in font when I tried your recommendation, which is why I'd bolded stuff to try to make it stand out.
Anyway, if you're not bored of it already, take a look and see if you think the new section is any good.--Sog1970 14:54, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
Come on already
Its not like it matters at this point. He's a dick and he can't write for shit. People only vote for him because they like him or something. Whatever. He's gone and hopefully he won't come back again. Uncyc really was better without him and his weenie clean atitude. 70.85.16.16 13:26, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
Fuck off you miserable diseased litte cretin! I like Todd and have no idea what your problem is with him. He is a good writer too. And today is the twenty eighth, because you clearly have numeracy issues, there's still voting time. Go away, Uncylopedia is better without you. So get lost ok? Orian57Talk13:33 28 June 2009
Your right- in a few more days it wont matter. Ether he won't get nommed again or I can enjoy watching someone else kick his ass!! Its really better that way anyway. LOL. 70.85.16.16 13:56, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
FUck off you wanker. Orian57Talk14:47 28 June 2009
I agree with Orian, Todd is a great writer (per the fact he has already won WotM) and has been here longer than you have been born. Mesing with Todd? You barely got business messing with ME. Fuck off you little bitch before I kick your ass myself. Oh and if this came across a little harsh, well... I DOESNT GIVE A FUCK!~~SirFightstarRocks!CUN 04:01, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
Several users have recently begun campaigns to rid Uncyclopedia of some of its oldest, cruftiest, stalest content, or so they would have you believe. We at the UnSignpost aren't here to report anything other than the facts, including but not limited to: opinions, speculation, and pictures of cats with funny captions.
First on the chopping block was the Timeline series. This group of articles apparently chronicles the made-up version of history as recorded by people who aren't very funny. Dr. Skullthumper has taken the lead in the crusade against this unholy document, and reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users supported the good doctor, while others appreciated his sentiment but enjoyed the crisp, fresh smell of proper procedure much better. Noted deletionist Gwax made an appearance in order to streamline the effort to remove all of the unfunniness from the timeline, and he has been joined by several other users seeking to improve rather than delete the entire project.
Next in line for the guillotine was Uncyclopedia's longest-running and only soap opera, The Young and the Uncyclopedians. At the head of this movement is prominent murderous amphibian Thekillerfroggy, who made such bold claims as "Vanity, sir!" and "Words words words!" As this project is not merely a page but an entire slew of pages, it was rejected by the Uncyclopedia Deletion Tribunal, but further actions may be in the works.
When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!"
Usefulness of IP Contributions Called Into Question...Again
The question of whether or not we should allow IPs to edit our precious humor wiki has been raised yet again, this time by plucky Der Unwehr founder Guildensternenstein. UnSignpost reporters were baffled by the concept of what an IP was, until it was explained that it is some sort of automatic vandalism robot designed to troll websites, post vanity, and ensure all articles make the proper amount of references to Chuck Norris.
The debate raged fiercely, with many users falling on either side of the so-called "IP line". One camp decided that the contributions from these entities did more harm than good to the community and its collection of humor. The opposing faction took up the opposite view: that IP editors were harmless and at worst an annoyance. Modusoperandi, the lead counsel for the IP defense team, made several compelling arguments, most notably the case that IPs are adorable and thus harmless. In the end, it was decided that IP editing is something we must live with, mostly because Conservapedia doesn't allow it, and we don't want to be any more like them than we already are.
When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!"
01:41, 24 June 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 66.109.20.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (Dex is all like BAN HIM and I'm like OKAY DEX)
00:18, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Do you see my penis? Here, I'll pull it out! LOOK AT IT DANGLE, FAGGOT!)
00:17, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) resurrected Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) (wrng "a"gn)
00:16, 21 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (NO MORE MR. NICEGUY)
Biopic of the Week
"How has the UnSignpost never run a biopic on So So?", you might ask. "I mean, his userpage is somewhere between confusing and disturbing, but the guy's a comedic genius! His writingsareclassic!", you might continue. You might even mention that he was nommed for WotM for about half a year in 2007 before finally winning the thing. Well, you might be interested in reading this week's UnSignpost, and then you might look into shutting up.
We're not late you're just high! Orian57Talk14:33 30 June 2009
So you were all like
"Oh man, I'll send out the UnSignpost this week," and people were like, "OMG! That's crazy! It'll take forevers," and you were like, "whatever, I'm too good. I'll just do it." And people were like, "you are gunna fail." But then, you did it, and I was all like, "Whoa! That's crazy!" WoodyOnFire!Talking WoodyStalking Woody 15:49, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
/Me cackles/ It was fun - yes fun! /Cackling Fun fUN FUN for teh whole fucking family! - yes kill them, kill them yes! NEHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Orian57Talk15:51 30 June 2009
Agh! You're sig code is leaking! Also er, impersonating me may have been a bit sort of not good. I mean it's not that big a deal but I really don't mind, I'm flattered even. Also Good to meet ya! Orian57Talk16:51 3 July 2009
After enjoying a long-running career and several writer changes, Uncyclopedia's fabled soap opera The Young and the Uncyclopedians was cancelled this week. And by "cancelled" we mean totally owned by Thekillerfroggy. It seems TKF finally had enough, and spent nearly an hour systematically deleting the entire series, which previously contained over 60% of all content in the UnScripts namespace. The newly freed electrons, no longer required for TYATU, can now be used for other Uncyclopedia-related tasks, such as boron smelting, and they may even be used to form a sort of crude bot that can edit The count to a million project automatically.
Not content with merely obliterating the entire series, Thekillerfroggy apparently became bored halfway through his holy crusade, and decided to get creative in the deletion summaries. As can be seen in a memorial erected by what is presumed to be a jilted fan of the show, TKF nostalgized and ranted, remembered and forgot, loved and lost, all while expressing his inner thoughts through the medium of deletion summaries. An example can be seen at the very end of his effort, where Thekillerfroggy writes: "Sigh./Well here's the home stretch/It's been real/We've had some good times/some bad times/But in the end/All we are is dust in the wind/So goodnight, sweet prince/Farewell TYATU/Fin."
Reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users held a candlelight vigil in userspace, where some of the episodes have been resurrected in a zombie-like form. Entertainment editor DogNewspaper (pictured) wagged his tail, perhaps expressing hope that one day a new soap opera, sitcom, or crime investigation show featuring Uncyclopedia editors would once again grace this site. We can only dream...
If you logged onto the Main Page sometime on July 2nd between 2:00 and 3:00 GMT (and if you can't figure out what time that is where you live, then don't expect us to provide it for you, we're not a bloody watch!), you may have noticed some subtle changes. Instead of the usual Wikipedia-like format, with carefully organized features, news stories, anniversaries, and vital information, you may or may not have found...something else.
Theadminsresponsibleforthis will not be named here, due to their next probable course of action in the case in which we did mention them, which would most likely be something along the lines of turning every UnSignpost issue into a Euroipod, whatever that is. The only thing we can report on is that the shenanigans ended just over an hour after they began, with the Main Page being restored to its previous false information-rich state. However, this episode shows us that it will never be safe from the hijinks of that group of admins, who, again, willnotbenamed.
12:34, 26 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Gotlegginh (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (please enjoy our complimentary fuck the hell off)
21:18, 26 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 seconds (Non-kosher edits to Woody's meatpage)
08:35, 29 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.78.127.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I is an 8 year old from the UK with super admin powerz, fuck you)
11:49, 1 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 222.153.106.69 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (I think you'll find it is you who fail. and not even epically either - just with a bit of a whimper.)
Biopic of the Week
Lovable Wikia dictator Sannse has settled in rather well in the Uncyclopedia Community. She is a double Hall of Shame member, and she recently took home the coveted Uncyclopedian of the Month award for her work in making things behind the scenes to run smoothly, which we take it means that she is very good at regulating the caffeine intake of the hamsters that run on the wheels that power Uncyclopedia. Her typical reaction to watermelon jokes is summed up on the right.
Old-School Featured Article of the Week
HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble is an informative guide to consistently winning via questionable means that most enjoyable of letter-arranging games, Scrabble. Fake dictionaries, fake online dictionaries, fake tiles, and octopi are just a few of the diverse methods one can utilize in order to gain a distinctly unfair advantage while playing the game.
This Week in Uncyc, 1776
While the American colonies and the British Empire were not quite getting along, the corresponding members of Uncyclopedia were also having a bit of a flamewar. Prominent British users subtly edited the article on America to include a fictional fourteenth colony called West Wankerton, and American admins reacted by banning the drinking of any tea-related beverages in the Uncyclopedia break room. In the end, both sides agreed to a truce due to the massively impressive fireworks show, which was a Fourth of July tradition. The truce basically entailed both entities cooperation in the vandalism of the article on France.
that is bassically the most important thing. I'm currently having loads of fun with this, which I should be able to finish off toaday. Orian57Talk13:12 5 July 2009
yay! An awards! At least it's won something, had fun writing that and Sissy's audio still makes me chuckle. (Also try and remember to close tags and code and stuff) Orian57Talk04:24 6 July 2009
Just because I'm missing you...
... I thought I'd drop by and say hi. Hi. I'm going again now. Pup
No wait, read this and tell me what you think. I'm showing it to everyone and so far have had pretty good responses. Orian57Talk13:36 6 July 2009
Oh hey, almost forgot about this, sorry. This version is definitly better, but I think more of the spoken/backgroundy sort of parts would improve it, as it is the jokes are still a bit thin on the ground (the ones you did put in did make me laugh though). For example you could have the spoken voice slowly comming round to the idea of people being cancer (as you concluded at the end) by replying differently at the end of every corus. There's a few other opertunities for some good contrast, which works well with a serious topic like this. Also maybe update the page as you update the audio. I do think you could have a very good thing on your hands with this once you do some more jokes. so good luck! :) Orian57Talk00:10 8 July 2009
Thanks again for your advice. And wow, you were right. You do need spelchek. :D •••Necropaxx(T){~}00:52, Jul 8
Quickly change your vote in unsurvivor!
There has been an unstoppable alliance of four! They will destroy us all!
Change your vote for me and that zheihlihl guy to TKF and ApeonThursdays, that's the only way to stop their alliance. If you don't do this, they will progress to the next round with an incredible wall of votes, and you will be slain :<. Forget about the past, think about the future. We need to form a pact and fight against these commie pink bastards!
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Forum:UNCYCLOPEDIA_SURVIVOR!_Season_2&t=20090706230822#Voting:_Round_3 —The preceding unsigned comment was added byKingkitty (talk • contribs)
Erm. No. Maybe, I'm already voting TKF out anyway. Orian57Talk23:21 6 July 2009
How have you been doing?
Normally this is what you ask me, but I haven't heard from you in a while, and I don't want you to forget all about me. ~~SirFightstarRocks!CUN 14:13, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
Oh yeah, your that guy... you used to be cool. Orian57Talk16:49 7 July 2009
I hope you're kidding. Honestly I never know... ~~SirFightstarRocks!CUN 23:22, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
Of course I'm joking. You were never cool. Now, what do you think of this? I'm pretty sure its feature worthy, but don't want to self nom. What do you think? Orian57Talk23:26 7 July 2009
Orian, you are a genius! Another great article, I think I'll get around to nomming it this evening. ~~SirFightstarRocks!CUN 23:53, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, am not ashamed to say I'm proud of this one because I genunely worked hard on it, a nom would be most welcome. And you've got some promising articles going though, too (at least I thinks it you, I've started getting you confused with the other guy that has 3's in his name), let me know if you need help. with those. I think I'm gonna have to get some sleep now though, so night night. Have fun and such. Orian57Talk23:57 7 July 2009
Wait, you mean iwillkillyou333? Yeah, he's okay. and you're welcome. ~~SirFightstarRocks!CUN 02:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
Yes sorry, was a bit distracted almost forgot. Overall it was pretty chucklesome and the images did make me laugh. Need someone to do an audio really, in order to hear if it really fits, ask someone musical. Orian57Talk17:30 7 July 2009
No point putting it back really, just delete it. Orian57Talk17:54 7 July 2009
Archive, much?
Could you please archive this boss? In Australia we get the interweb delivered by owl, and poor Hedwig gets so exhausted carrying this she keeps crashing. Pup 00:08, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
Jesus, this is a record for my page and it's half as long as most everyone's pages. Spang for example hasn't archived in like ten years. And besides I've still got a few active conversations going, speaking of which have you read this yet? I mentioned it above. Several times but once directly to you. Orian57Talk00:13 8 July 2009
My God, won't somebody think of the Owls I've had a glance at it, but to be honest I get on here and start going through my watchlist, and by the time I've checked out everything I've lost four hours. If people would archive sooner then I wouldn't have such an issue. I like what I've read so far, but if you're asking me for a full review then you'll have to be a little patient. As the nurse said to the midget. Pup 00:30, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
oh I've had a review, and actually Llh3 said he may nom it. I'm just trying to get it read by people. And with teh watchlist I tend to just pick out teh most interesting stuff and not look at stuff that doesn't concern me. Orian57Talk00:33 8 July 2009
Sweet. I'll have a look at it later. One thing I will get you to do for me. I did this yesterday and I'm worried that I may be too harsh on the Anglican Church and the British people, as I'm straddling the line between caricature and insult. I'd appreciate getting a non-US/non-Antipodean POV on it. Just remember that if you find it insulting, that's the reason I'm asking, and please don't hit me again. Poor bloody Owls. Pup 00:50, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
All right. Remember that I'm being really picky here given that it just got a supreme mother-daughter score on PeeReview and has a strong likelihood of being featured.
1. Change of font. I understand the purpose, but it honestly just distracted me rather than adding to the story.
b) Thought v speech v other stuff in inverted commas. Though in italics and speech in different font and smart quotes I could get, but when there are references in inverted commas they should either be italics or quote. Given that though is in italic already I'd suggest having that in italic, so that:
Emily looked up at me with that “I told you so” frown.
becomes
Emily looked up at me with that I told you so frown.
and so forth.
4. Smart quotes v straight quotes. I hate smart quotes, but I'm in the minority. But for the sake of consistency these need to be fixed:
"It's for your own good"
"You don’t mind if I borrow some from your Wii remote do you?”
The "Gear". Was Indeed Drugs
Edit: ...and single quotes for quotes within quotes... “I thought I said no roast. It’s called 'Sunday roast' for a reason, just because it’s colloquially shortened to 'roast' doesn’t mean you can change the rules.” ...You can make them smart single quotes if you like, but should really be singles.
(iv) Full stop or period in the chapter headings. I didn't like it. Doesn;'t mean good or bad, just didn't like.
00000101: Minor shit. I would change "No Emilly, you can't have one of those for your birthday. It's too expensive." to "No Emilly, you can't have a rabbit for your birthday. It's too expensive." I don't know if that was a reference to [this initially, but it was where my mind went, and believe me, they're expensive. ,small>And all I got for valentines that year was a freaking card</small>
One more whine. Fix the red links. They are a pain in the ass.
Beyond that, and remember I did say I was being picky, I loved the article. Slightly derivative of Shaun of the Dead, but well executed. I would have like to have seen him need to use the blade when going into his ex's, it not work, having to slam the door on a zombie or push it away instead, and then have it work when cutting the roast, but that is the only narrative change I would suggest, and even then it would add a level of irony but not necessarily add the all important giggle factor. Pup 02:04, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
Congrats much
on WotM. You totally deserve it. And hope you keep it up...and all the normal good wishes and stuff. - [01:33 9 July 2009] PlebYettie
Banned?? Stupid admins! /me goes off obediently to vote - [02:31 9 July 2009] PlebYettie
In late 2007, a man by the name of Leoispotter had the idea to bring his favorite reality show to Uncyclopedia. Thus, the first season of UnSurvivor was created. After five thrilling rounds of voting, Mr. Briggs Inc. managed to win against the other finalist, Thekillerfroggy, by a mere two votes.
Flash forward almost two years. Kingkitty, a competitor in the first UnSurvivor, decides it's time for another go-around, and season 2 is born. In an exclusive interview with Mr. Kitty, he had this to say: "Well, I was bored ("and crazy", says one passing by civilian) and I thought: 'perhaps the community could do something fun, and stop with all this writing bullshit.'" When later asked what he thought about this current season, he said, "It's showing to be bigger and better than last season, with more betrayals, more violence, more whining, and more betrayals. Lots of betrayals. Mostly of me."
Currently, UnSurvivor Season 2 is in its final round of voting, where the voted-off members of the game get to vote on the finalist they want to win. The finalists this season are: after last seasons defeat, Thekillerfroggy, and newcomers to the show, THEDUDEMAN and An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. Voting is set to take place over 72 hours instead of the usual 24, and the winner will be announced sometime Friday July 10th. After this, according to Mr. Kitty, there "probably" will be a season 3, and it will be bigger and better than anything ever before.
Uncyclopedians pay crass tasteless tribute to Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson, the legendary King of Pop, touched many lives, and the news of his untimely demise has left a deep void in the lives of his millions of fans and victims. Fans all over Uncyclopedia, stricken by grief, flocked by the dozens to mourn their departed hero in the only way they knew how: through the medium of humour.
They ranged from perfunctory to crude to mediocre, but each expressed a deeply profound sadness that the weird plastic rapist was no more. (Yeah, "weird plastic rapist". That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.)
Tributes continue to pour in despite the fact that it is no longer funny or clever. With the stage set for a long, protracted battle over his kids and estate, Uncyclopedia expects that unfunny people will continue to get mileage out of this story for many weeks to come.
Uncyclopedia admins plan to send a selection of the best "tributes" to the Jackson family, along with the number of a company that recycles plastics. (That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.)
Editors emerge from woodwork, contribute to UnSignpost
This week, when UnSignpost Active Editor Gerrycheevers brought up the Uncyclopedia page containing the currently in-progress UnSignpost, he suffered a minor heart attack upon finding that two stories had already been added to the paper. It seems both An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and THEDUDEMAN, both newly given the title "Consulting Editor", took exception to being named "Consulting Editor" and took it upon themselves to blanket the UnSignpost with awesomeness.
Unsignpost Payroll Manager DogNewspaper (pictured) bared his teeth at this development, indicating his frustration at having to re-issue new timecards to both editors. Gerrycheevers is expected to make a full recovery; flowers can be sent to the Uncyclopedia Infirmary and Shooting Range.
23:02, 7 July 2009 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Spang (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 days (testing, I haven't done this in a while)
09:26, 7 July 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.178.213.53 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (In fact, here is our complimentary "welcome to uncyclopedia & fuck off" package. Have a nice day.)
00:36, 6 July 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked The Woodburninator (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 191 seconds (You ain't no ban magnet. But I can help you become one. By banning you, that is.)
Biopic of the Week
Now missing for over 18 months, it's time to send the search party out for ENeGMA. If the userbox on his user page is accurate, then his 250,000+ edits mean that he has created virtually all of the content on Uncyclopedia. While that isn't quite true, he has produced some classicallyawesomearticles, and we wish he'd come back and play.
Quote of the Week
<TheLedBalloon> well, my parents were like, son, we're going to make meatloaf tonight
<TheLedBalloon> and I was like
<TheLedBalloon> shit yeah
<TheLedBalloon> you know
<TheLedBalloon> I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LOAF
<Shaggy-Rogers> EVEN BLOW YOUR LOAD ON YOUR MOM'S FACE
=-= Mode #uncyclopedia +o TheLedBalloon by ChanServ
=-= Shaggy-Rogers was booted from #uncyclopedia by TheLedBalloon (2 dads)
=-= Mode #uncyclopedia -o TheLedBalloon by TheLedBalloon
Old-School Featured Article of the Week
A Handgun is a non-lethal weapon that has been in use for over 150 years. As adaptable as it is safe, the Handgun can fire many different kinds of bullets, which each require different distinct noises such as "pchoo!". Advantages include an infinite amount of ammunition and the lack of a necessity to reload. Attempts at Handgun regulation have proven pointless at best.
This Week in Uncyc, 658 AD
With the Dark Ages in full swing, Uncyclopedia tried to lighten the mood with a contest that urged users to photoshop a humorous image involving a priest, a monk, and a nun. Since the most advanced photoshop technology at the time still consisted of using paint to draw on canvas, not a single entry was completed by the two-week deadline. However, prominent Uncyclopedian John Smith continued his work far past the deadline, and after eight months submitted an image of a waterskiing nun, which became Uncyclopedia's first featured image.