User talk:NickJonesUSA

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edit Welcome!

Hello, NickJonesUSA, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there and there is a window over here if you don't fancy walking down the stairs. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:


These are the links you're looking for...

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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but most people enjoy writing something while they are here and ever so occasionally we write something worth reading. Check out Pee Review if writing work seems a bit too much of an effort,

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Just remember the rules, especially the first 3.

Again, Welcome!   ChiefjusticeXBox 11:27, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

edit Welcome back

Actually, welcome back, if I recognize the voice. What's with the new user name? Spıke Ѧ 16:40 20-Jan-11

Hey Spike. Yeah, I made that other one not being sure what I was doing. This is a more serious one. ;) How to delete the old account? NickJonesUSA 00:07, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

You don't. I've been inquiring since I got here about acquiring the never-used account Spike, created by someone in 2006, but it's no deal.
By the way, two of our templates created last year assume that UnNews Audio files are named the way I name them: File:UnNews--name.mp3 (double hyphen!) where the name is identical to the name of the story (without UnNews:). You don't have to, but doing so makes it easier to code the lists on the UnNews Front Page and on the Uncyclopedia main page.
I saw that Zana prefers to do her own audios, but I'd be happy to collaborate. I heard your silky voice and thought you would be a perfect in-the-field reporter (perhaps starting every transition with, "That's right..."). I took a Mordillo audio and recorded a framing UnNews using his Israeli accent only in the quotes, but he didn't like the result. And Dexter111344 once assembled a podcast with himself as anchorman, one of my UnNews Audios, and a couple mainspace narration by someone else, and recently said he might put together another. Spıke Ѧ 00:30 21-Jan-11

edit UnNews:Parliament bans "Tweeting" during sessions

Excellent. I'm game for whatever you wanna do...If you time to help doing a couple of line, it be highly appreciated:

"Ye Shalle Nott Mayke The Sonng of a Byrd Wythyn this Royale Palace of Westminster On the Payne of Death"


"All honorable members will have taken notice that in 1381 that when King Richard II held his parliament, the Labour Party M.P. for Revolting Peasants and Other Undesirables, a certain Mr W.Tyler, did make rude bird sounds in front of his majesty. The King had declared that no man should be allowed to make 'sounds of the bird which are also called tweeting' and had Tyler brought to trial on the spot -- with a knife in the guts and head removed there of and stuck on the roof of Westminster Hall. The M.P.s gathered there agreed to vote in favour of the statute I mentioned earlier and since then, it has been against the rules of the House in sitting that any one making a bird sound should be executed. As the wording of this bill specifically mentions 'tweeting,' I will follow the understanding of the word as it was then known in 14th century England rather than anything more recent."

Thanks NickJonesUSA 00:35, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Ask Romartus--It's his story, he's a Londoner, and I'm also in the USA. Spıke Ѧ 00:50 21-Jan-11
PS--I see he hasn't been on the site since writing that UnNews. I still recommend him, but let me know if you're in a hurry and I'll do my best. Also, see my note to you when you go to update {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}--delete my recording of the Steve Jobs story in the interest of diversity of anchors. These are sorted by date of the text story, but I've tried to delete them in order of the recording. Spıke Ѧ 00:59 21-Jan-11
PPS--But if no one responds, there's this. Spıke Ѧ 03:15 21-Jan-11
I heard the audio. Sounds great. I will try and do some 'audio trials' myself soon. I know what I use to sound like 25 years ago on University Radio...don't know what I sound like now! Also NickJones - create a User page as well and post up some info about yourself..or your favourite stuff...doesn't have to be fancy. At the moment when you sign your comments, you are appearing as a dreaded 'red link' which is rarely good news! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:34, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks! And thanks Spike - think it turned out ok: I also added

And I'll try to figure out the user page stuff...;) NickJonesUSA 08:32, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Brilliant! and with backing music. I'm not sure we've ever had a three-person collaboration (counting Romartus) on an audio. Only, you shouldn't have identified me, certainly if you're not going to identify yourself. Spıke Ѧ 13:02 21-Jan-11
PS--You are now in UnNews:UnNewsAudio#Broadcast Staff. I took the liberty of guessing your national flag. Spıke Ѧ 13:20 21-Jan-11
What next? Are we to all become Thespians?? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:01, January 21, 2011 (UTC)
Only if you're referring to being citizens of ancient Greek NickJonesUSA 18:16, January 21, 2011 (UTC)
Don't confuse Thespians with Lesbians! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:41, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit Weekly round-up?

On another note - We should look into doing a weekly "round up" - I used to enjoy listening to Newsweek's weekly podcast, which was just that. We'll have a "main presenter" that introduces stories, which then cuts to the individual stories. Am I making sense ? NickJonesUSA 18:16, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Is UnNews podcast on iTunes working? Didn't seem to be up to date...NickJonesUSA 18:27, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

I mentioned above that Dexter111344 had done one such show, though not revolving entirely around UnNews. PS, Admins here don't like erasing the record of discussions, though talk pages are moved to "archive pages" from time to time. Spıke Ѧ 18:39 21-Jan-11
PPS--I was prepared to have the podcast be a few days out-of-date, but that there is deader than I've ever seen it. I'll enquire, but not this afternoon. Spıke Ѧ 18:41 21-Jan-11
Well - Here's the deal. If everyone who does UnNews audio saves their waves - without intro/outro music, typewriter background, etc., - and uploads them Saturday night - I'll do a Sunday roundup - The best of UnNews Weekly podcast or something. But the iTunes podcast really needs to be fixed for it to be really popular...NickJonesUSA 04:47, January 23, 2011 (UTC)
I've been on IRC chat tonight; Olipro says he handed responsibility for the podcast over to Zim ulator, my predecessor on UnNews. Zim says it's straightforward to get it to work again and I've just advised him that you are on the site and perhaps he'll come here.... Spıke Ѧ 04:53 23-Jan-11
My own UnNewses are stored briefly without intro/outro but are recorded by mixing in the TeleType. I think that for a Nightly News type of broadcast, you wouldn't want to do the entire story except for a few "featured stories" but to do summaries of the type that are on the Front Page. Spıke Ѧ 04:55 23-Jan-11
I always thought the format of Newsweek on air was good: - Obviously, there are many ways of doing it, but I think it's important that the styles don't deviate too much from each other. But at least I would need the wav's - or MP3's - without music intro / outro. Does Uncyclopedia have an official IRC channel? NickJonesUSA 05:02, January 23, 2011 (UTC)
Yes, it is #uncyclopedia. There is also #unnews but no one who actually contributes is ever on it. Spıke Ѧ 05:05 23-Jan-11
Alright. Thanks. Have to find an IRC client for Mac now ;) NickJonesUSA 05:13, January 23, 2011 (UTC)

I'll probably work in it later today, if I remember. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 05:15, January 23, 2011 (UTC)

Meaning: fixing the podcast, I presume. Thanks! Spıke Ѧ 05:18 23-Jan-11
Perfect Zim - I see from past comments on iTunes that the podcast is quite popular. Before we know it, we'll have sponsors and all be rich - wait, this isn't a not-for-profit site, right...;) NickJonesUSA 05:19, January 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit Podcast is working

Zim restored it this morning--"Tweeting in Parliament" is the only thing there after the repair. As I always say, there is no better way to build traffic than an (evidently months-long) total outage.

File:Last Week in the Mirror intro.mp3 could be an intro for your weekly edition. Spıke Ѧ 23:09 23-Jan-11

I've got a few more up now. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 08:18, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Hahaha...It's perfect Spike - Love it! I'll put together a "test podcast" and you can all opine... NickJonesUSA 09:43, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

edit Here, I found this and thought you might like it

edit Thanks

I don't think I've thanked you for recording the Keith Olbermann story. Well read. And I don't think I've met you, unless you're that guy from the Uncy bathhouse with the tattoo of a calibou. So good to meet you then, and nice work all around. Aleister 10:07 24-1-'11

You're welcome. Don't think that was me. I've never been to a bathhouse my entire life. I like women...;) NickJonesUSA 22:25, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

edit Test podcast is ready

Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.

Okay gentlemen - I made a "test version" of the weekly roundup - Now called "Last week in the mirror". NickJonesUSA 22:28, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Any way that discloses the name of the file is fine. However, if you simply code a link to it, begin with a colon to ensure you are citing it rather than asking it to take effect on the current page, for example: File:UnNews--Last_week_in_the_mirrow_Jan_23rd.mp3.
An excellent production. Only two quibbles:
  1. Your show intro sounds as good as my show intro does. Pick one or the other.
  2. Mistake in the name of the show during the outro.
When you have it the way you want it, code it as one of the 6 entries in {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}, and you might announce it also in Forum:Rebirth of UnNews Audio. Spıke Ѧ 23:01 24-Jan-11

edit Last Week in the Mirror

I would like to use your intro for diversity - however your recording was heavily clipped - See attached screenshot.
- Could you please do another one and make it quieter - plus can you upload it in 44 khz 16 bit mp3. Also - Can you do a separate file that contains this: "All of that and more, as the news-makers and award-winning reporters of Uncyclopedia take a look at the last week in the mirror".

Also - Would it possible that everyone saves their recording in high quality without music intro and outro, and upload them to this page on Saturdays ? NickJonesUSA 18:59, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

There's now File:All of that and more.mp3 and File:Last Week in the Mirror.mp3. I aim to peg the needle, by the way, but these are a bit quieter. Spıke Ѧ 04:48 27-Jan-11
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