User talk:Nick123

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Nick123, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Nick123/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you. Here are some pages that might help:

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How to post to talk pages

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I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 21:52 1-Mar-14

edit Comment here

Here you can comment on anything about me, which will probably never happen but meeeeeeeeh.

edit DESU

Okay, I have a comment. Adding half a megabyte to that article was not amusing (except in the sense of self-amusement). It was vandalism, and you are out for one day. Go self-amuse. Spıke ¬ 11:34 2-Mar-14

edit Edit War

That was a good edit. The code you may want is:

{{Wikipediapar|WP:Three revert rule|Edit War}}

The real Wikipedia page comes first, then how you want it to appear on Uncyclopedia.

For extra credit, could you take a look further down that article, where it starts to get listy, and try to keep it from telling the same joke over again (revert of revert of revert...)? Spıke ¬ 14:24 16-Mar-14

Thanks! And done. Nick123 (talk) 15:10, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

("Indent to set your posts off from other people's posts" by starting the line with :. You see what happens when you indent with spaces!)

Thanks for accepting my suggestion. I am not entirely sure whether you trimmed the joke, or explained it to the reader, but you are in charge.

On your edits elsewhere, a "link to a deleted page" we refer to as a "red-link" for simplicity.

On Church of Uncyclopedia, your summary asks, "Does anyone even care about this kind of job?" If you mean removing red-links, yes, we appreciate it. Links often become red as articles are deleted. If you mean the article you edited, I haven't read it, but the title "Church of Uncyclopedia" suggests that the article has two problems: (1) It may be one of the trite Wacky Religions that Uncyclopedians used to invent; and (2) It may be an article where we write about ourselves ("navelism"). If you believe that either is the case, you may want to take it to Votes for deletion. (At which point, if you are successful, you will have many new red-links to chase down!) Spıke ¬ 17:55 16-Mar-14

Oof. Thanks for that. I will do that, thank you. And I guess that's my new duty, red-link hunting. And what I meant was if anyone bothers to get rid of red-links, which seem to be everywhere. But then again, the wiki IS very active, so that is understandable. And the article is about the religion known as Unglicanism. Nick123 (talk) 18:00, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

That would be an honorable line of work. Some articles have "navigation templates" at the bottom, such as Template:Latin America, and if you fix a red-link in one of these, it becomes fixed on many pages. However, Tunisia in Template:World Countries, and some of the politicians in Template:GOP, should stay red, because this is how we signify we'd like someone to write the article.

By the way, if you would like to see how many pages would acquire red-links if a page such as Sheep went away, you can call for Special:WhatLinksHere/Sheep. Spıke ¬ 18:08 16-Mar-14

edit Hired for VFD Poopsmith

You might want to visit Votes for deletion anyway and see how it works. We have an opening for the Poopsmith. The job requirements are at Uncyclopedia:Votes_for_deletion/For_Admins (Section 2). Spıke ¬ 18:08 16-Mar-14

So, the job of a poopsmith is to move closed VFD ballots into the archive? Nick123 (talk) 19:06, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Yes, but more importantly, if the article was Kept, to write a reminder of that on its talk page, and to remove the {{VFD}} tag from the article.

On Talk:You Are Gay, please go back and sign your post. The authors who used {{USERNAME}} in an article are, as we say, not amusing the reader but pranking the reader (in this case, you). If you can replace this with something that will actually amuse the next reader, you are welcome to. Spıke ¬ 18:19 16-Mar-14

Fixed. And it would be even better if the thing was deleted completely, but that obviously obviously failed. Also, I can do such a job easily. Where do I apply? Nick123 (talk) 18:26, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Easier than you can remember to sign your posts? You have just applied and been accepted. PS--If you should hanker for a fancy signature, the instructions are at UN:SIG. Spıke ¬ 18:24 16-Mar-14

Ha ha ha. Fine, I will remember that. And thank you! It will be a pleasure to do crap for you. P.S. thanks for the signature link. Nick123 (talk) 18:26, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

You will see I have already taken the NOW HIRING sign out of the window. Spıke ¬ 18:27 16-Mar-14

The closed ballots are the grayed out ones? Nick123 (talk) 18:32, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

That's right; and the two already there have been there for 18 hours and can be poopsmithed now. Spıke ¬ 18:35 16-Mar-14

Alright, I am going to do that now. Nick123 (talk) 18:38, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

The • Add Oldvfd • Archive • Remove Tag links on the subject line can be clicked to partly automate the job. Sign your posts! Spıke ¬ 18:37 16-Mar-14

I'll get used to that eventually. Also, what do I write in the comments at the archiving thing? Nick123 (talk) 18:42, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

In the absence of rules, the rule is to be clear, not to obey the rule. For the change to the archive, the Comment is added automatically. In the edit to the VFD page, I have been using: to archive. Spıke ¬ 18:47 16-Mar-14

No! You didn't do that right! The big window is an edit window, not a comment field. You must open up two tabs, edit the ballot, and copy it over to the archive. (That part isn't automated.) Also, the automation doesn't work right; it creates a new section, ending in %7D%7D, which you must replace with }}. Spıke ¬ 18:52 16-Mar-14

That's it! (Quick learner!) But delete the result of the first try. Spıke ¬ 18:54 16-Mar-14

Did that exactly at the time you sent the message. Now to get rid of the other one! Nick123 (talk) 18:55, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

The only thing I can add is really picky: When you remove {{VFD}}, remove the entire line. If templates are in play, leaving a blank line where {{VFD}} was may produce a double-space (three straight Enter keys) that will show up as excess vertical spacing on the page.

Also, and not that you did this wrong: Rather than get cute and make all your changes to VFD at once, and all your changes to the archive at once, it is probably better to process every ballot completely to ensure that, once poopsmithed, all the steps are carried out. Thank you for helping out! Spıke ¬ 18:58 16-Mar-14

The first one has been processed before it was archived, so that's out of the way. Nick123 (talk) 19:01, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
I'm done, go check if you want. Pretty sure everything is where it should be. Nick123 (talk) 19:07, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Fine work! I found one excess blank line between ballots on VFD (also one at the start of the page, don't know how that got there) but otherwise perfect! I have closed another ballot (based on two Keep votes for two very different reasons) but this doesn't have to be poopsmithed until tomorrow. Spıke ¬ 19:10 16-Mar-14

I will do that when I log in tomorrow I guess. I need to watch out for those blank lines. Nick123 (talk) 19:13, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

The thing to remember is that you should almost never have two consecutive blank lines in an edit window, because they will produce excess spacing. When is tomorrow for you? Are you in the Americas? Spıke ¬ 19:16 16-Mar-14

No, I'm European. I planned to log in to do that in about 15 hours. Nick123 (talk) 19:18, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Sounds just right. I'm in New Hampshire, USA. I glossed over your remark above, "it would be even better if the thing was deleted completely." If this Thing is You Are Gay, then You Are Free to nominate it for deletion. The rule is not that, once we take a Keep vote, it is protected for life; it is that it is protected for 1 month. And given that the nomination was in 2008, it can be nominated again. If this is what you want to do, read the rules, follow procedures carefully, and make sure your ballot looks right when you are done. Spıke ¬ 19:22 16-Mar-14

If I can, then I will do so. I have to read more carefully about the procedure now, I only read about how to do the poopsmith's job. Nick123 (talk) 19:24, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

edit Nihilism

Might I ask what a cy:Argyfwng Gwacter Ystyr is? Nick123 (talk) 20:12, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

The cy: prefix is an "interwiki" to the Welsh Uncyclopedia, and what follows it would be in Welsh. At the moment it is managed by someone who does not wish the best for our website. The page in question does not seem to exist, so if that is exactly the text you found, it should be removed, corrected, or rewritten. Spıke ¬ 20:26 16-Mar-14

I keep finding it on protected pages, like Nihilism Nick123 (talk) 20:37, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Google says the Welsh means "The Crisis of Meaninglessness" and a page does exist on the Welsh Uncyclopedia for it, a decent translation of "nihilism." Nihilism is an example of excess vertical space used intentionally. The article is not just protected against "new users" (which you will remain for several more days) but against everyone, and has been since 2006. It was protected by one of the Old Ones. He didn't say why. Spıke ¬ 21:09 16-Mar-14

The page is gone. Nick123 (talk) 10:52, March 17, 2014 (UTC)

So it is. I have removed the link. Previous Poopsmith Mimo&maxus has helped you with your signature file. You must put the <SPAN> tightly around the text that you want in a different color (the right side of |); otherwise, the general rule that links are blue (except red-links) will override it. Can't say I like your red-and-blue color scheme. Spıke ¬ 13:55 17-Mar-14

I am mainly experimenting right now, I will find me a better color soon enough... Nick123 (talk) 13:57, March 17, 2014 (UTC)

Okay. Meanwhile, I figured out why Nihilism is super-protected. It was a Featured Article in 2005 and voted one of the best articles of 2005. All such articles are immune from new efforts to take them in a different direction or "make them funny." Most would have an FA label to tell you so, but this one doesn't, because it is in the business of being nihilistic. Evidently, many newbies thought there was something wrong with all that blankness and thought they might help it by adding Oscar Wilde or a nice Fart Joke. So it got protected. Spıke ¬ 14:02 17-Mar-14

What I don't get is why newbies thought there was something wrong with the page. Also, how did you do the trick with everything, even outside the page, being blank? Nick123 (talk) 14:04, March 17, 2014 (UTC)

The reason is because newbies act like newbies. I did not do any trick; I said 2005, whereas I arrived in 2009. I see stuff outside the page (such as the Edit or View source) button, and I don't see anything in the site-wide CSS and JS files that would disable it. Spıke ¬ 14:10 17-Mar-14

Hmmm, that's strange. Oh well, I'll just leave it at that. Nick123 (talk) 14:13, March 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Signature

Hey, I like it! One thing though, it seems that you forgot to type {{Subst:Nosubst|Nick123/sig}} in the Custom signature field in your Preferences. Give UN:SIG another read if you don't mind! :-)

By the way welcome, my fellow Greek Uncyclopedian! It's been a long time since I last met another Greek in here! :-) --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 14:16, March 17, 2014 (UTC)

Yasou! Nick, the template is wrong that you are a "native speaker of classical Greek." Modern, perhaps; or you are millennia old, or dead. Spıke ¬ 14:21 17-Mar-14
Or both... --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 14:25, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Stop conflicting my edits, please :D Alright. I just did the preference thing. I will fix the template. Yasou, glad to meet a fellow Greek! Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:27, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Not "both," Mimo; "native" means you grew up speaking it, which is not true unless the bassinette was at the back of a classroom all day. Not denying he may know it. Spıke ¬ 14:29 17-Mar-14
So, I don't see Modern Greek in Babel, or I am blind. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:30, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
What I meant was that he might be both a millennia years old and dead at the same time. You know, like a really old zombie. Ah, whatever. Explaining the joke never works. Also, sorry for edit-conflicting you Nick (and probably SPIKE now), I do that sometimes. --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 14:35, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Like just now! One nitpick, Nick123: Would you please reduce the compass-rose graphic so that your signature doesn't spread apart the lines of text? Spıke ¬ 14:40 17-Mar-14
Well, not quite sure how to do that. EDIT: Alright, I can resize it. The thing is, how do I post it in the wiki? Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:42, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Just save the sig file and it takes effect, retroactively, everywhere.
On VFD nominations where {{VFD}} has not been attached to the article: In the future, you can do it yourself, as I did, and reset the 24-hour clock at VFD so we don't delete any page without due notice to the author. Please do not just write a question (and not sign it). Spıke ¬ 14:56 17-Mar-14
How do you reset the clock? And I'll have to remove the compass rose for now, I can;t find a smaller size... Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:04, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Manually, I'm afraid. Preview your comment on VFD, note the UTC time in your signature, and copy it to the VFDt|time= time. I put the picture back in your signature with a width specification (which also reduces the height). Spıke ¬ 15:14 17-Mar-14
Thanks, and great because someone didn't tag an article and it has been there for a really really really long time. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:15, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Wait, on "Emo Man" you supposedly applied VFD but it isn't there? Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:18, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Did I screw up one too?! Here is a nitpick that maybe you can't or don't want to do anything about: I have a local rule for Uncyclopedia pages to display in blue parchment, and Compassrose has a background that is not transparent but white. Spıke ¬ 15:23 17-Mar-14
Allow me to reset the counter. Also, I can't really do anything about that; I would need to make the picture trasparent and I don't know how. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:25, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Mimo and I have both done so, independently, mine with a new name that is now in your signature. Mimo's tools are probably better than my freeware. Spıke ¬ 15:29 17-Mar-14
Thanks for the help! The counter has been properly reset Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:32, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
I made more changes in your signature, listed in the Change Summary; keep or undo them as you like. Spıke ¬ 17:25 17-Mar-14
Alright, I don't really like the compass rose there but I will see. Edit: Nah it's ok. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 17:27, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
There is a way to make the rose clickable, which I will track down if you have some page in particular you want it to link to. Spıke ¬ 17:36 17-Mar-14
If I get one... Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 17:39, March 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:Noob of the Moment

Hello! I just came here to say that I am very impressed by the job you are doing! You are now nominated for the NotM award! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:10, March 18, 2014 (UTC)

Wow! Thanks for that! It's really nothing to be honest. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 13:25, March 18, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for not just Poopsmithing but voting at VFD! The two gray ones, I just closed out, so perhaps wait until tonight before archiving.

You can also vote on articles to appear on our main page, photos to get the same honor, or the other monthly and periodic awards to contributors. Spıke ¬ 13:26 18-Mar-14

Will do if I find one. I will archive the ballots in about 6-7 hours if that's ok. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 13:28, March 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Nonexistent templates

Thumbs Up on your edit of Tentacle High. Do you understand that the code you removed calls for one of the two templates to be displayed, selected at random and potentially different each time someone calls for this page to be displayed?

That is not a good approach because it substitutes technical trickery for original, funny writing. In some cases, it means the editor was amusing himself by confusing or pranking the reader, rather than amusing the reader. However, it may be that one of the two templates you deleted might have existed. As always, you can check this: Special:WhatLinksHere/Template:NSFWArticle. We had an anonymous editor, months ago, who thought he was doing us a favor by slapping {{NSFWArticle}} on everything that made him queasy. He's gone, although he kept coming back. Spıke ¬ 18:52 19-Mar-14

There was another one, that didn't display and therefore never existed. Nevermind, it did exist but didn't display for some reason. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 18:54, March 19, 2014 (UTC)

Wouldn't have displayed half the time, for the reason I just explained. Now, I have a separate problem with all these templates, though they somewhat mimic Wikipedia. They tell the reader how to interpret the page (and sometimes to edit it, or to not edit it) before he even begins reading. Spıke ¬ 19:15 19-Mar-14

So, should I just yank it completely? Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 19:20, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
I moved the template from the beginning to the end. It fixes all the problems, I think. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:22, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
The issue here is the very nature of templates. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 19:26, March 19, 2014 (UTC)

That was my personal opinion, not Uncyclopedia policy. I think that what you should do is make your own decision about whether the template is necessary to focus the reader, or is a final, colorful bow that the author attached to his work to please himself that will distract the reader. I do not think moving it to the end solves any problem, Anton; first of all, there are now three templates piled up at the bottom. And the other two at least point to related articles, while all that {{Hentai}} does is shout! (in pink!) that "Oooh! This page is so naughty!" Spıke ¬ 19:33 19-Mar-14

It is going, if it's my decision. I don't deem it necessary, if one reads the title they will get what they are getting into unless they are riding the short bus to school. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 19:38, March 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit More poopsmithing

If you are enjoying the poopsmithing thing, you might ask ChiefjusticeDS if he would like you to do comparable daily maintenance of the Quick VFD page. Spıke ¬ 14:51 26-Mar-14

Eh, why not? It's not like working over at VFD is such hard work, a bit more won't hurt. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 19:55, March 26, 2014 (UTC)

edit Congratulations!

Visit your userpage to see what you have won! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:05, March 29, 2014 (UTC)

Thank you! Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 19:58, March 29, 2014 (UTC)

edit Hello

I was just about to vote for you on NotM, and some prick took your nomination down.

Two things:

  • Poopsmithery change. I did a little tweaking to the templates used on VFD to tidy up the functionality of the {{VFD}} and {{oldvfd}} templates. It means the "archive" link, and the "add oldvfd" buttons are no longer there. These are mostly used by poopsmiths and admins. If you need those added back in let me know. I'm about to add a link to the current archive to the top of the VFD page as well.
  • Redlink hunting. Good thing to chase! One template that you may want to use is {{RL}} which is designed to clean up redlinks. All you need to do is change a redlink from [[Penis hunters]] to [[Penis hunters]]. It keeps a redlink in place so that it can be tallied as part of Special:Wantedpages, unless the page exists and in which case it will show an actual link. So for instance:

If you have any questions, just nag me.                               Puppy's talk page02:07 pm 29 Mar 2014

Thank you for letting me know :) Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 20:06, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
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