User talk:Newman66/archive2

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Archive 1. The first archive with the information from the first three months of being a registered user.

Archive 2. Archive that includes some events between September 2013 and November 2014, including but not limited to past conflicts and UnSignpost papers.


SPIKE, I am sorry for editing the Mizoram page, I tried to edit it because I study geography and science, so I wanted it to be part of my Indus River and Asian culture project. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 16:08, August 27, 2013 (UTC)

My one-day ban was not for editing Mizoram. When creator Theluseichronicler put it in mainspace, he has to be ready for that to happen. Instead, it was for the way you addressed him on his talk page; essentially, "I had to intervene because you are not funny." To re-state: Any rules you may read on our policy pages, such as for VFD and QVFD, are secondary to the rule of not making new Uncyclopedians feel unwelcome. When a new user tries to create a new page, he is entitled to a helpful explanation of anything unfavorable that happens to his work, even if it follows the rules--as you are entitled to this explanation.
Separately, your changes to his page, such as plopping a big, wet LOL WTF Pear at the end of his article, he might not view as helpful; he might view it as vandalism. Your humor style, long lists of random, concluding with Who-really-knows? is not my favorite either.
I deleted your Indus template for two reasons: (1) Public templates should not be created for private uses. For an index to your Indus River projects, use your user page. (2) The template warned other editors that it might be dangerous to edit "your" articles, but on Uncyclopedia, anyone is welcome to edit almost anything.
I have taken this article in yet another direction at User:SPIKE/Mizoram, notably paring back your excesses and perverting more from the Wikipedia article. This being Uncyclopedia, you may steal anything you like. But please leave Lusei alone with his article (even though it is in mainspace) for another week or so, to see if we have really chased him away. Spıke Ѧ 16:39 27-Aug-13
I didn't mean to. I try to improve articles, but I didn't know that this may count as vandalism. I promise I will not do that damn thing again. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 17:51, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
No problems. Everyone has done something silly when they first start here Newman66. The Unc learning curve is like a giant dipper. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:06, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
I didn't say that your edits were vandalism, but that Lusei might take one look at the LOL pear and perceive them as vandalism. And the goal is not for you to adopt my style of humor (and I do not know what Lusei's style of humor is yet) but just to work well with other Uncyclopedians. If we are going to have a tug-of-war over Mizoram, we ought to plan it out together. PS--The version in my userspace is not good enough; it's funny if you have just read the Wikipedia article; otherwise, it isn't. But it has a theme: That Mizoram, after partition and statehood, is remote and inaccessible. (And dry.) Spıke Ѧ 18:31 27-Aug-13
Last reply on this conversation; but inactive users staying or coming back after a while are rare. These occasions include Kody-the-Fox, who has came back all the way from since a new user in 2009, and Olipro (not to be confused with Oleper), who was inactive since 2012, and only edited once this year a couple to several of months ago. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 01:25, August 28, 2013 (UTC)

Admin Romartus has concurred with me that this article did not receive Intensive Care and that it should leave mainspace in favor of my version, which incorporates your photos and some of your material but sticks more closely to the description in Wikipedia. I have moved the original version to Mizoram/original and the new version will point to it. I would appreciate it if mutant pears were not reinserted in the mainspace version, cheers! Spıke Ѧ 11:57 13-Sep-13

Yeah, thanks! Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 12:42, September 13, 2013 (UTC)

I'm on other versions of Uncyclopedia.

I just joined the fork copy of this Uncyclopedia, and also just joined the current version of Absurdopedia. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 01:05, August 28, 2013 (UTC)

I only visit those ones occasionally, I am usually here for the fun. Main reasons for visiting the other Uncyclopedia's are for making different versions of my articles on those, along with articles that I haven't made yet here. Have fun! Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 01:08, August 28, 2013 (UTC)

Xbox One

Just want to give you some notes:

  • The link should be removed on the first quote, but "Colladooty" is an intentional joke. I didn't add it though.
  • The console is placed inside a trailer.

Anyway, I can see if I can make the article funnier. (Saddex (talk) 17:48, August 28, 2013 (UTC))

HowTo:Join ISKCON‎‎

Thanks for defending this article against the anonymous blanker, whom I've banned for 2 weeks. ISKCON is a residential cult, and long ago I argued with author Funnybony that he was partly settling an old score with it rather than writing comedy. This is why I suspect the blanker is someone who is still in the cult (and handing out booklets and incense at airports) and the blanking is not merely random. Spıke Ѧ 19:22 29-Aug-13

User talk:RoboPanda and 9gag

A new user is perfectly entitled to edit a redirect page if he wants. Unfortunately this new user did not know how to remove the code for the redirect. Most redirects are there because no one has written that article and so it redirects to something similar. Did you revert his work because of this or because it was not funny? Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:18, August 30, 2013 (UTC)

The latest UnSignpost issue

Here it is! By the way, well done as you are the first person (whom I saw) who did not break the alphabetical order of the list! Anton (talk) 18:19, August 31, 2013 (UTC)


I clicked on the interwiki you have just added to your page (sorry for my curiosity) and sorry, but this page does not exist. The reason is simple: you a registered on and the interwikis here only work for the wikia sites, so your link is redirecting to Just to let you know. Anton (talk) 18:51, September 12, 2013 (UTC)

Your talkpage header

Another bug I noticed. There is </div> thing in your template header, which means that the div tag you tried to apply for a particular line of the text does not work, probably because the text is inside the template. Anton (talk) 12:04, September 13, 2013 (UTC)

No, DIVs are okay inside Wikitables. The problem here is that Newman has a <font> tag (which is deprecated anyway) not matched by </font>. With apologies for editing in your userspace, I've fixed it. Spıke Ѧ 13:18 13-Sep-13

User:Newman66/Hot dog

Yikes! Go easy on the lists! Lists often tell the same joke over and over again, and always invite Anon to add Just One More thing--forever. Especially, the list in your Intro is material that belongs in a section on Uses of the hot dog (but would still be better not as a list). Spıke Ѧ 14:35 14-Sep-13

Welcome template

I think that the template you personally use to welcome other users ought to be in your userspace, as everyone has his own customized template for this and if they were in mainspace, we will have thousands of them. Sorry. Anton (talk) 15:06, September 14, 2013 (UTC)

He is right. Please do not use the public template space for templates used by you alone--especially a welcome template, which is different for each of us. {{User:Newman66/name}} will work just fine. Except that, in your recent welcome of JorgeDD, your attempt to substitute his user name did not work. Regarding your LOL, a welcome message is an especially strong case where we should not "crack wise with the navigation tools." Introducing a new user to Uncyclopedia procedures is very important, and establishing yourself as a very funny guy can wait. Spıke Ѧ 15:10 14-Sep-13
So you have already used this template? Then I have some comments:
  • In order for the username to work, you should either just copy and paste the content from your template to the user's talk page (as I just did) or insert a special template, I forgot which and I will try to find out and tell you.
  • Welcome is very important as this this how the user gets introduced to Uncyclopedia. So if the format and the welcome style are not very good, the user may get a bad impression about the site in general. Please, use high-quality images, check for red-links in your text (you had two: one intended (User:X/Article) and one accidental (Ducka Claus)).
  • And finally, you are welcome to add some personal messages to anyone's talkpage but adding them to Welcome, often does not have a good outcome. What I am talking about is Swanana thing, as even though it is funny, the user will not know what a swanana is until he reads the article and if he does, he probably won't find a connection between this and Uncyclopedia in general, or he will think that we are a site where all the absurdities can be placed. And it is also a self-promotion, even if not very huge.

I took over the talkpage for a while and changed the image and a red link, but if you come up with a better version of your welcome template, please, feel free to keep going with it. Cheers! Anton (talk) 16:56, September 14, 2013 (UTC)

I had to use the old Ducka Claus image because it was part of one of my old projects that I haven't put on here yet. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 17:08, September 14, 2013 (UTC)
I am afraid I did not really understand this. You put an image into a welcome template not because it is funny, but because it is a part of one your project? I think that the one I uploaded worked better. Anton (talk) 18:09, September 14, 2013 (UTC)
No, Newman, you did not "have to use" anything. When welcoming new users, you are an emissary of Uncyclopedia; you should not use the opportunity to hump your own projects. Spıke Ѧ 18:54 14-Sep-13

Concerning the second method, I think it is to add


but I am not sure. {{BASEPAGENAME}} still does not work in this case, so you can replace it with {{PAGENAME}}. But if you do this, you might as well keep on typing


as you did. This probably confused you even more, and I am not sure myself. Anton (talk) 19:03, September 14, 2013 (UTC)

There is no difference between {{PAGENAME}} and {{BASEPAGENAME}} unless you are in a subpage. The intent of either is to delete "User talk:". See WP:Help:Magic words#Variables. My Welcome file has {{<includeonly>subst:</includeonly>BASEPAGENAME}} -- This ensures that the substitution does not occur when I finish editing my Welcome file but only when it is included in someone else's page. However, I copypaste the text rather than using it as a template. Spıke Ѧ 19:41 14-Sep-13

Welcoming new users

Do not continue to use your template until you figure out how to get BASEPAGENAME to work, or decide to do it by copy/paste. The least you could do is look at the result and correct what you delivered to the newbie! I have substituted my welcome at User talk:Behind logic to avoid misleading this user regarding naming articles in userspace. Spıke Ѧ 03:49 15-Sep-13


Your definition of "blooby" does not belong in Undictionary and I have userspaced it to the address shown above.

  • Blooby is not a word, and no one looks up blooby in our or any other dictionary.
  • The initial template ("HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT ASS") destroys the dictionary pretense. If I knew what "blooby" is--even after reading this entry--I would know what it had to do with {{ADHD}}. But I don't.
  • The definition is ramble and the lower sections are noise.
  • The only notable thing is that the entry promotes the other articles you have written.

That is, it seems to be of use to you, but cannot possibly be of use to anyone else. Spıke Ѧ 03:56 15-Sep-13

UnSygnposte Delieverie

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:08, September 15, 2013 (UTC)

QVFD instructions

Follow the QVFD instructions! Use {{Redirect}} when asking for a redirect to be deleted. The only reason I didn't delete the article instead of the redirect is that there was an intervening move.

Today's flurry of new articles in your userspace are all articles that someone who doesn't know that you created the page will never look for. You know enough to state, "No one will ever search for this" when seeking to delete a page; now learn the lesson and create pages about things in the real world (including the world of real fiction) and not pages whose name is your own punch line or pun. Spıke Ѧ 14:50 15-Sep-13

Okay. I'm always laughing about a new project in my head, but never mind. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 14:58, September 15, 2013 (UTC)

Of course, the challenge here is not to make yourself laugh but to make the average reader laugh. Spıke Ѧ 15:16 15-Sep-13

PS--If you want to see a listing of all these articles you are creating, the spell is Special:PrefixIndex/User:Newman66. Spıke Ѧ 15:21 15-Sep-13

My Little Hyena

I like this concept, and can't wait to see what you do with it. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 16:07, September 15, 2013 (UTC)

User talk:PussyDestroyer69

FIX IT NOW Spıke Ѧ 17:38 15-Sep-13

Are you still using the old duck image? Sorry, but it is of a bad quality. And you have a red link in your caption. Newman, come on, welcoming users is a serious business. Anton (talk) 18:20, September 15, 2013 (UTC)


From welcoming users so as to baffle them, to peppering mainspace with junk pages that I had to userspace or delete, to making edits to advertise your new junk pages, to neglecting the vote count at VFD, everything you did yesterday required intervention and repair. And this morning, you are reverting edits with summaries like "Not funny neither" and "Probably you too." These make you look cutesy but are not meaningful to the person you are talking to--the editor whose work you just erased. Above you wrote eloquently about the ease of making yourself laugh. Unless you take immediate action toward the possibility of being of service to the other people here, you are going to get three days. Thank you in advance. Spıke Ѧ 12:55 16-Sep-13

Didn't mean to. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 21:44, September 16, 2013 (UTC)


My fault I haven't stopped by, I have limited time on the computer. Have noticed your work, and it's really good. And don't mind Spike, he's gruff at times but he holds this place together like a pot of glue. I like the shouted "YOU ARE GOING TO GET BANNED", something he shouts at me on a weekly basis just because he wants to kick my face in but can't locate me in real life (he doesn't know I live down the trail from his woodland home, and sometimes shoot the squirrels in his backyard and pose them in weird positions for him to find. Fun where you can get it). Again, good to meet you too, and may the farce be with you. Aleister 15:02 19-9-'13

I'm a little more active than you during my time being active, and in August of this year I already beat Bizzeebeever for the first place in activity from before he went to the fork. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 01:56, September 21, 2013 (UTC)

Bye, not for long.

I'll be more inactive for a few days because I'll be working on a new business forum. I may still occasionally be visiting here to improve my articles and reverting bad-lead edits. Thanks for reading, and have fun! Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 01:35, September 21, 2013 (UTC)

Rubber Duck

Just wanted to remind you that you write for readers and often readers do not know who you are or what you did. I don't know who Ratboy is but I am not sure he is connected to rubber ducks. And I also fixed grammar in this template.

P.S. Above, you say that you want to revert bad-lead edits, and in the Ratboy Stub template you basically said that you need help. Help with an article is often a rewrite or an addition of paragraphs and pictures (which may not be very funny for you or might not go well with your concept, as you are the original creator). So what is the probability of an editor trying to help you with your work and getting reverted by you? Anton (talk) 10:06, September 21, 2013 (UTC)


In the above section, I assumed that you used your template only for your articles. Now I see that you inserted it to any mainspace articles you probably found random. Several months ago, I have done a similar thing with User:Anton199/Template:Article but, fortunately, I put it on the talk page of an article and not in the article itself.

What is bad about these actions, is the fact that templates asking a user to improve on the article (ICU, WIP, Fix) are used to say that the text is either incomplete or not very nice. There are other templates, such as "This article needs more cowbell", "DESU", British/American/Canadian, etc. humour, but they do not tell you that this article should be improved on, they are a joke. Your template is neither one: it asks others to help you (or the author) and at the same time make a joke. If you really don't like this article, it is only your opinion and should not be a template, if you want this article to be better, you can leave a message at the author's talk page or the article's talk page.

Finally, the author of Yellowknife, even if not a new user, is not very experienced and still has his inspiration. He did not abandon work on it and tries to make it better. And your Ratboy Stub won't help him in anyway. Not only is Ratboy (I still don't know who he is) not at all connected to what he is writing about, but he is also an in-joke invented by you and the only thing he does is to ask others to do something about the article without giving any suggestions. Anton (talk) 10:30, September 21, 2013 (UTC)

In fact, I dislike even the joke templates that tell a reader how to interpret stuff he has not yet begun to read. "This is factual," "this is British," "this is offensive," is the author talking to himself, taking a victory lap. An article's text should speak for itself. There is one decent rationale--mocking the tags Wikipedia editors put on other people's articles--but ours no longer even resemble them and don't relate to Wikipedia.
"Ratboy," according to Wikipedia, could mean a lot of things, such as the American who joined the Taliban and fought against the US in Afghanistan. Newman probably means the British cartoon character. However, only Newman knows that. So we have:
  1. Inserting userspace references in mainspace articles.
  2. Feuding with another editor in the text of an article.
  3. Giving a new editor the misunderstood graphic message that "haters gonna hate," along with a prank of changing other text every time the editor views it, and with absolutely no constructive suggestions.
  4. Continuing his longstanding tendency to try to dominate slightly newer Uncyclopedians.

About which, see Section 17 above. Spıke Ѧ 12:46 21-Sep-13

Ratboy did not refer to any of the referred characters mentioned above, but is rather some meme thing I created up in my own head, according to the email I sent to Simsilikesims and Frosty. It is actually a variant of {{Template:Crackstub}} that was used on Rubble and Crystal meth, but it relates to the meme slogan "Haters gonna hate". I promise not to dominate new users again, and I will act slightly different this time. My username is James Newman on the rest of Wikia (another one of my Paul Newman-based usernames), where I have already became a good user enough to receive additional user right groups in the future or now. The reason why I chose this username on Uncyclopedia is because of the same case that Jirachi8932 had, where I could not register or log in as my Wikia database username, so I created this one. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 22:16, September 24, 2013 (UTC)

Asking to be unbanned

Hey. As a general rule the only admin that should be unbanning you is the admin who banned you. Asking admins elsewhere to unban you prior to the end of a 3 day ban is a bit of a dick move.

I'll bring your request to Sims attention, and let her make the call.                               Puppy's talk page08:34 21 Sep 2013

Redirects on QVFD

I have fixed your listing on QVFD, since you did not want the entire page deleted, just the redirect listed. Please note the change that I made on QVFD to see how to do this in the future. Please do read the instructions on the QVFD page that should have told you how to do this. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 00:52, September 25, 2013 (UTC)

"I promise not to dominate new users again"

I consider this promise broken. Spıke Ѧ 01:27 25-Sep-13

Nope. I try to improve their articles, and be collaborative this time. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 01:32, September 25, 2013 (UTC)
That sounds cool, as long as they agree and you tell them to please revert your edits if they don't want them. Most of us like to work on articles alone - to run out our writing like wild mares - without anyone coming in and trying to do an uninvited collab. Real collabs are fun, if you're in the mood and it's agreed on close to the start and preferably in advance (some people ask for collab help after an article is written). Aleister 25-9
Quite to the contrary, I am afraid Newman66 jumped on top of the world's newest Uncyclopedian, poached both his articles, and tagged him as a Newman66 "adoptee" without any invitation at all. Consequently, Newman66 will be taking a bit more time off and will not be revising his opinion of the article you describe below. Spıke Ѧ 17:33 25-Sep-13

James Bevel's face in a cloud

Hi. I feel I've added enough that it's at least closer to what you expected before your constructive no vote (thank you for pushing me to keep polishing it), so if you would and have ten minutes of pure hell to live through, have another look and let me know what else needs to be added or if it's near a good place. Thanks! Aleister 25-9

UnSignpost - Reporting from the Belgian Congo

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:50, September 30, 2013 (UTC)

Not funny for sober people

On VFD it generally is poor etiquette to include this phrase when someone else is voting to keep the article, presumably because they do find some redeeming trace of comedy in it. To say this in a delete vote tends to imply that the person voting to keep the article (because they do in fact find it somewhat funny) is not sober. This is a dickish move, and violates rule 2 of UN:R. I don't think you realized it, so I am letting this go this time, but any further moves of this type will result in a ban. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 16:45, October 2, 2013 (UTC)

In fairness, Newman used the "not funny for sober people" phrase (in his nomination of Å) before I cast my Keep vote, in which I told him what I think of the phrase: Not dickish, but simply a repetition of a phrase he has heard, when what we need is his opinion on the article he is nominating for deletion. Spıke Ѧ 17:16 2-Oct-13

Keep votes on a rewrite

To vote keep on an article generally means that you think the article *as it is* can be polished up and improved, rather than rewritten from scratch. A delete vote enables us to scratch the old article, and potentially replace the old article with a rewrite, as was done with Zynga, which I rewrote. Comments that you have rewritten the article should be reserved for the comments section of VFD. Use caution not to "toot your own horn" too often, it just makes you seem annoying. And annoying users don't last long around here. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 16:55, October 2, 2013 (UTC)


Thank you for spotting two photos that were not deleted when the underlying article had its ICU tag expire.

However, Nicole Scherzinger is under active development by Olliewasabi, as you can see on his talk page, and separately is not worthy of deletion. (Anton199 has now struck your nomination.) I trust you are not again identifying new Uncyclopedians to bother and harass. Spıke Ѧ 15:22 6-Oct-13

I was not trying to. And I now give friendlier suggestions on their talk pages, like what I did to Budgielover2988's talk page, complimenting his SCP Wiki-related article that it seemed to be doing better than its creation revision. I actually help out with the VSTF (Volunteer Spam Task Force), a group on the main database of Wikia that currently includes users such as Callofduty4, TK-999, RansomTime, and Sactage (a.k.a. Furry on Uncyclopedia). Earlier this year, I was involved on the PHP chat on Community Central with a normal user called Arcyana, and she was upset and throwing a bad temper in the chatroom, but several weeks later, a VSTF globally disallowed her account. A couple of weeks later after that, a possible block evasion under the user DarkGrepher came on the chat being rude and snooty to everyone. They then banned DarkGrepher from the chat, but he continued to be a snooty brat, and annoyed many admins, VSTF, and Wikia staff on Community Central, but then got kicked off of Wikia so he wouldn't be pushy/snobbish to the admins and minions of Wikia. That stuff was only about eight months ago, and it does not matter anymore. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 15:54, October 6, 2013 (UTC)

I am totally unconcerned about your notoriety on other websites. I am only interested in getting you to be productive on this one. Spıke Ѧ 08:55 8-Oct-13

VFH of Indus River

An article does not get featured unless it has many votes for. So I think you have to take a look at the previous nomination, at what people told you and then improve on the article accordingly.

I hope Newman gets a Feature Article some day, especially if he masters the English language. But this article is random wacky babble. It demonstrates knowledge of the subject but never produces humor and relates it to the subject. Spıke 14:21 15-Sep-13

Comment. The text is good, except for when the writer goes off-topic. But I would really suggest to change the images: the first one is not very encyclopedic or well photoshopped, in addition to this is not very connected to the Indus River; the second one is a drawing and the third one is a rubber duck. The illustrations really spoil the encyclopedia style. UnLieutenant Anton 13:50, September 15, 2013 (UTC)

Agreed. Sir ScottPat 18:35, September 17, 2013 (UTC)

Anton (talk) 07:36, October 8, 2013 (UTC)

Politics and permaban

Calm Down.... Since you have received bans from both SPIKE and Simsilikesims for previous behavior, it only leaves me to issue you a future red card to get a full house and permanent ban from Uncyclopedia. I can see you are an enthusiastic user but if there is one thing that NO ONE wants to get involved in is inter-wiki drama or general nuisance behavior. So, don't mess up again. If you have an enquiry or want to check on something, please ask me. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:16, October 8, 2013 (UTC)

I advise you to look here UN:OFFICE. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:32, October 8, 2013 (UTC)
Newman, I banned you (and simultaneously emailed Romartus and Simsilikesims to ask them to review my action) when I saw a (second straight) session of yours with 100% politicking and 0% contribution, starting with your list of "friends" (I would say "allies") and culminating with offering Saddex new power on the wiki that you misstated and that he does not merit (as some of his edits require post-edit for English) and that you do not merit (as all of your edits deserve to have someone look at them)--as though you are the website's newest kingmaker.
I modestly suggest that you turn your attention--all of it--to writing funny stuff; for instance, as Anton199 notes above, recall Indus River from VFH and apply the rework that we told you to apply the last time you nominated it; or return to Hot dog, which has a little clean-up but is still the dumb lists and penis jokes that we almost succeeded in VFD-ing in favor of a useful redirect to Dogshit sandwich.
If you want to devote yourself to politics and treachery, do please pursue it on one of those many other websites of yours. Spıke Ѧ 08:55 8-Oct-13
Thanks, and I don't need to worry about it now. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 14:35, October 12, 2013 (UTC)
If you want an advice, here is the cleverest one I can give: Uncyclopedia is a humour site where people register to write something funny, to laugh at others and to talk to them. If you suddenly decide to help the site out (if you really like it), you should gain experience, talk to people and ask questions and, the most important, consider the fact that there are many people here and that all of them should be treated, at least, respectfully, if not with kindness. (You have never meant to be rude, but some of your actions could be considered such, especially those towards unexperienced users.)
Finally, it is cool to gain friends, but it is not very cool to "promote" someone (asking for a user to get autopatrolled is something different, you are perfectly welcome to do this, but you should not run in front of the train (as we say in Russia) and tell the future-autopatrollee that he will get it, because maybe he won't.
P.S. I appreciate your mentioning of me on Chief's talk, but a person should say himself if he wants to be an administrator. Anton (talk) 17:01, October 8, 2013 (UTC)

Indus River improvements

Right now, I am improving the Indus River article. I have already just removed a quarter of the stuff in the article and cleaned up a quote. I am then adding more funny and comedy stuff (possibly) and will make the article better. If you want to join with me as long as you add more stuff as promised, I will collaborate. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 15:17, October 12, 2013 (UTC)

Here is your mission. Choose to accept or decline it

Now, here is the mission: Uncyclopedia needs more ninjastars, especially at the time when almost no more awards are running. And you seem to like original templates and awards. So here is the post you might want to accept: The Great Ninjastar Master. Your role will be to throw various stars (we have plenty of those - for noobs, admins, good users, people who don't know what Preview is, etc.) and to maintain the page itself. This would consist in making it funnier, sometimes less offensive (there are some rather rude parts there) and possibly deleting unused and bad stars. Anton (talk) 20:00, October 19, 2013 (UTC)

...This message will self-destruct in five seconds...5...4...3...2...1...This product is sponsered by Have you been blown up or assasinated at work or at home? Then don't call any number because the government will erase any trace of your existence. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:08, October 19, 2013 (UTC)
The above two users have taken it upon themseves to befriend new Uncyclopedians. Their proposed new job for you could likewise boost the hospitality that newbies feel when they come here. It's not Funny Content, but it's just as important. Spıke Ѧ 22:25 19-Oct-13
I haven't been that rude lately to new users. And, I understand about that now, and ever before I used to be rude to new users like that, but this time I'm not anymore. I hardly ever listened to the policies about hurting new users in the past, and even until a dozen and a half of months (1 1/2 years) before, there were other problems I had on Wikimedia projects that got taken care of by Barras and Elfix, and which I then followed to the rules on other wikis from some time a couple months later onwards. Most things were settled this year, and I'm better now. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 22:59, October 19, 2013 (UTC)
Newman, calm down and re-read. I am not talking about bad things you did in the past, but about a proposed very good thing you might do in the future. Separately, we never want to know more about how you eventually ceased misbehaving on other web sites. Spıke Ѧ 01:13 20-Oct-13

Face in a cloud

Hello! I think I've followed your advice and greatly improved James Bevel's face in a cloud since you voted against it. If you have a few minutes and feel like wandering the site, please consider taking another read and see if you approve. Thanks for the push in a good direction (off the side of a cliff!!!). Aleister 19-10

Thanks! Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 22:11, October 19, 2013 (UTC)

Forum:Indus River team and more news‎

The Village Dump now has five threads on rules changes, new tools, and new procedures; plus several other current threads that discuss the future of the site. Your call for collaborators to rework a single article does not rise to this level. Would you please move it to the proper location for chat and networking by changing "Village Dump" to "BHOP" on Line 1? Spıke Ѧ 22:34 19-Oct-13

Thanks, and I did it just now. I mistakenly got to the forum by clicking Village Dump and mistakenly made the post. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 23:06, October 19, 2013 (UTC)
Yeah, Newman, so would you like to be A Stuck Ninjastar Master? Anton (talk) 08:57, October 20, 2013 (UTC)


You are welcoming users. And that's cool. But there is a slight problem: you ignored several of my and Spike's messages about your welcome template. So I had to edit it in your own userspace just to catch your attention and to force you either to revert my edits and change it yourself, or to agree with my edits.

Now, here are the messages that you did not take into account:
  • Spike: "Regarding your LOL, a welcome message is an especially strong case where we should not "crack wise with the navigation tools." Introducing a new user to Uncyclopedia procedures is very important, and establishing yourself as a very funny guy can wait. "
  • Me: "Welcome is very important as this this how the user gets introduced to Uncyclopedia. So if the format and the welcome style are not very good, the user may get a bad impression about the site in general. Please, use high-quality images, check for red-links in your text [...]"
  • Me again: "And finally, you are welcome to add some personal messages to anyone's talkpage but adding them to Welcome [template], often does not have a good outcome. What I am talking about is Swanana thing, as, even though it is funny, the user will not know what a swanana is until he reads the article; and if he does, he probably won't find a connection between this and Uncyclopedia in general, or he will think that we are a site where all the absurdities can be placed. And it is also a self-promotion, even if not very huge."
  • Spike finally: "When welcoming new users, you are an emissary of Uncyclopedia; you should not use the opportunity to hump your own projects."
So there is still a problem with the promotion of your own projects, not-very-good-quality image, a red link (Ducka Claus) and a LOL. Now, you are allowed to talk to any person about your own projects. But, please, don't add it to welcome. The difference is that: when you welcome a user, you represent Uncyclopedia, and when you leave a personal message, you represent yourself.

Hope you do something about this! Anton (talk) 14:24, October 20, 2013 (UTC)

By the way, Black Sikhhead was apperantly already established on the other Uncyclopedia so you didn't have to welcome him. --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 14:55, October 20, 2013 (UTC)
Moreover, the transclusions in your welcome are botched. (Look at it.) I would delete the page but, as the user signed up for the sole purpose of criticizing me, that would just inflame the drama. You should look at a new user's contributions before welcoming him at all. (Welcome? or {{Oh Dear}}?)
Separately, I agree with all of Anton's comments on your Welcome page. (Especially as many of them were originally mine! Spıke Ѧ 15:15 20-Oct-13

That's how you do it!

You can just add {{subst:User:Newman66/Template:Welcome}} and it will produce this:


Santa Duck

If you're good, Ducka Claus will give you a nice present on UnX-mas day!

Hello, Newman66, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I hope you have fun here, and I'm Newman66! I am an upbeat Uncyclopedian, and I am kind enough to give you this welcome!

Our steps:

  • You can create your own article. It is better to do it under your won name, if, for example, you are not sure whether you will finish it; for example, User:Newman66/An article. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist). If you are out of ideas and totally mind-blocked for the LOL, go to Uncyclopedia:Requested articles, or if you want to make an article where Swananas in a nursery will start all the searching for of your creative articles, go to User:Newman66/Swanana Care.
  • If you wrote an article, we have a Proofreading service where one of us will correct your mistakes, and the Pee Review where another Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
  • Our vanity policies- why you SHOULD not write any of your (exactly) entire personal information about yourself or a real life friend.

If you want to know more

  • Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue.
  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice your addition.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more ":" characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which will get replaced by your signature (you can set it up using Preferences) and the date and time of your post.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

Uncyclopedia and I can be a pure nexus, and I hope you have fun here!

Anton (talk) 17:57, October 20, 2013 (UTC)

Terms of Use

Thank you for cleaning up Gumby. The Oscar Wilde quotation had nothing to do with Wilde and little to do with the article. The other was just swearing. In UNQUOTE we discuss what we hope initial quotations to do.

But your citation of the Wikia Terms of Use in your Change Summary isn't correct. There are two Terms-of-Use issues that are important; one is using our pages to send readers away from Wikia; the other is nudity and gore in photos (which Special:Upload warns about).

Swears aren't against the Terms of Use, but they do make the reader less inclined to go on to read the Gumby article. There is nothing you need to do to fix the page history; just learn. Spıke Ѧ 14:50 20-Oct-13

A life lesson

When I was older than you are now, my first real boss seemed to think I was trying too hard to gain acceptance at the company. He said, "Your reputation will be a result of a long list of individual successes." That is, not because you say so, or because you promise something. The list already seemed horribly long to me, but the boss was right. For this reason, you ought not advertise individual edits; the only possible result is that people will view you as a self-promoter. But do please ask if you are unsure about what the best way to handle something is. If you are trying to move an article in a certain direction, of course use its talk page, not to point to your own work but make sure other editors work with you and not against you. Spıke Ѧ 15:10 20-Oct-13

In other words, Newman!!! (remembering the old Seinfeld show). I'd self-promote all the time, at least pages I thought were feature-worthy and always asking for a reading instead of a vote. To offer your pages up for public comment is a nice learning experience. I haven't looked at many of your pages, lack of time on the net rather than anything else. Is there one particular page you wrote that you could suggest I read (one of your favorites)? Thanks! Aleister 18:35 20-10-'13
p.s. On the other hand I may have read lots of your pages, if they were on VFH. I sometimes, often, on occasion, usually don't always remember who wrote a particular article. Lots of good ones lately, and if you had anything to do with that, cool!

When a single post can become a source for drama, a newspaper becomes a deadly weapon

Have fun reading it!

Anton (talk) 17:22, October 21, 2013 (UTC)


Uncyclopedian PJD asks, in a change summary, why you reverted him. I upheld your revert and explained the reasoning at User talk:PJD#Blue. However, when reverting a registered user (or even an Anon who shows any promise at all), please explain your reasoning in the summary. Spıke Ѧ 15:53 22-Oct-13

Playstation 5

Duder...I think you nominated Playstation 5 at VFD. I don't look at VFD unless an article I've edited is up for voting which hasn't happened for a long time. You're totally free to nominate any article at VFD...please please put the VFD template on the otherwise I won't know it's on the chopping board and I won't have a chance to defend it.'s really important that you feed your pets regularly and take them for long walks in the park. Having them sit on your lap will add to the sense of connection you and your domesticated animal may have and will extend your life and add vitality to a world filled with 1s and 0s. I recommend high quality processed meat food in a can...but if you don't have the budget for that...dry food will do. If you are super poor...I think dumpsters are an ideal source of pet food...and also pretty good for extremely poor people who don't want to rob food from supermarkets. Did you know that hedgehogs make great pets. They are nocturnal, like to have their own space and don't stink up the house. --ShabiDOO 19:11, October 22, 2013 (UTC)

James Bevel's face in a cloud

'lo (and behold). Can you take another look at the page, which you voted no on awhile back and it's been changed since. Thanks. Aleister 23-10

p.s. And if you have six minutes can you look at Oz, which has been on VFH for a long time and is awaiting a reading by you! Thanks again! The preceding unsigned comment was added by Aleister in Chains (talk • contribs)

Oh my God, James Bevel's face in the cloud is now crying (or is that rain?) because you haven't given it a second reading after voting against it. It cries, and the world cries with it. It laughs, and it laughs alone. Aleister 29-10

Because of you and your "no" vote saying there's not enough content, content keeps appearing! Please see if it's in good enough shape now to at least change your no to a no comment. Thanks! Aleister, keepin' working like a dog 5-11

Constantly changing and not evolving newspaper - the UnSignpost

Anton (talk) 17:24, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

$12.00 parking! Terrifying!                               Puppy's talk page08:33 01 Nov 2013

Who said 'late'?

Anton (talk) 19:21, December 17, 2013 (UTC)

The last UnSignpost of the year

Anton (talk) 21:09, December 29, 2013 (UTC)

Saw you swing by... I thought I'd just say HAPPY NEW YEAR Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:57, January 8, 2014 (UTC)

The first UnSignpost of the year

That time I was nearly caught reading the UnSignpost, so now I am delivering it to you! Have a nice time reading it! Anton (talk) 19:51, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

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