User talk:Newman66/archive1

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edit Oh Dear...

Evileye trans

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, Newman66, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your "contributions" — not to put too fine a point on it — have been crap.

If you came here to vandalize — rather than it just being something that comes naturally to you — you should be aware that your edits will not remain on the wiki and in fact it will take us much less time to undo them than it took you to think them up in the first place.

If you thought you were making good edits, then perhaps before you make more of them, you might do some reading first. And start with some of these pages, especially How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid:

Scotty and the bloody knife
Writing funny articles
Understanding Uncyclopedia: About usBeginner's GuideOur projectsGetting ideasHelp menu
Understanding Funny: How To Be Funny And Not Just StupidFunny and not just stupid imagesChoosing words creatively
What to avoid: VandalismCyberbullyingWriting about yourself or your palsDramaOveruse of initial quotationsOveruse of lists
What people have asked for: ArticlesPictures
Additional help: Get spelling/grammar helpFind or become a co-authorHow to write an UnNewsAsk an AdminGet feedback on your work

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please write to me at the bottom of my talk page (by clicking on my signature below) or to an Admin on their talk page. Alternatively, you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! Spıke ¬ 23:52 29-May-13

edit Camouflage rubber duck

Hello and welcome! Unfortunately, I have been asked to administratively delete your emerging article, which is not as funny as we expect articles to be. It appears to be a single paragraph expounding on your favorite bathtub toy. The fact that the title is misspelled and uses capital letters inconsistently is also a factor. You need to read the introductory documents set out above, and tell me what this article is about; also where you are going with it, if anywhere. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 23:52 29-May-13

I am moving my camouflage rubber duckpage I made to a grammar correction and adding more humor and paragraphs to it. --Newman66 (talk) 00:02, May 30, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you for that. I will make the misspelled title go away. There is one "design flaw" regardless of additional humor: This is a fake encyclopedia, and who is going to ever look up an article on "Camouflage rubber duck"? It is like you have told a joke, and the reader has to guess the punch line in order to read you telling it! See what I mean? Also, grues are passé. Spıke ¬ 00:09 30-May-13

edit Swanana

No, you don't see what I mean, because you've just done it again: turned an amusing idea into an article that no one will ever look for in an encyclopedia, unless they woke up that morning needing to read about a cross between a swan and a banana! Again, the reader has to guess your punch line in order to read your joke! This website is not a free-form writing blog but a more structured effort; if you don't like the "encyclopedia" gag, we also have UnScripts, UnDictionary, UnNews, and so on; but you need to make your work better fit the goal of the project into which you type it. Thanks! Spıke ¬ 11:20 31-May-13

edit Thanks for the good Patrol work

--In other words, detecting vandalism of the wiki and undoing it! Spıke ¬ 03:10 8-Aug-13

edit I was passing close and noticed...

Hello, Newman and welcome here! Thank you for voting for my article about Miss Marple. I don't know if you know who she is, but you probably do, as you voted for it, however some people vote but still don't know and so I am not sure. I was rather surprised to see the "Oh, Dear" templatevat the beginning of your talk page, as after seeing several of your latest comtributions, I think that you deserve a warm welcome. But I haven't seen how you began, so who knows? Just joking and don't take me seriously, Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:02, August 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit No drama on QVFD, please

I have processed your requests to delete two unused audio clips. However, the format doesn't support such lengthy comments; and in particular, we don't need to know your feelings toward the author/uploader. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 23:15 9-Aug-13

edit Dwarf pineapple

This is not new enough for QVFD. Author Oleper banged it out, tagged it with {{VFH}} although he did not write a VFH nomination, and buggered off. It is simply a crappy article. Nominate it on UN:VFD if you like. 03:24 10-Aug-13 PS--Never mind, I'll do it. Spıke ¬ 12:13 10-Aug-13

edit Please help.

An anonymous user has made several edits on the Sandbox, and removed content from the page and added crap and wankery. Could you please rollback those edits for me? Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 01:18, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

The Spambox is for unbounded experimentation by users. Unfunny or unhelpful edits aren't even worth penalizing the user. This particular use of the Spambox is trolling unlikely to teach the Anon anything about coding in the MediaWiki language. However, the Spambox is easily reset, by clicking on "Reset the Spambox," which is what I did, and you could have done. Other pages don't have a Reset button, but every page has a History button at the top of the page. Take a moment and play with it. You can see the status of any page at any point in time, see what happened between any two selected versions, and--if you edit a past version--nullify everything that has happened since that date. Moral of the story: (1) You could have repaired the damage yourself; (2) No change here is irreversible; and (3) You have powers of information that you are not yet aware of. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 03:12 11-Aug-13

edit So you are cleaning-up Uncyclopedia, huh?

This is really cool and I can be considered your colleague. I had much work on the UnSignpost this week (<spam>you can get subscribed to it here</spam>) but now I am quite free and decided to make a lot of VFD entries. I have made two by now. Want to do that as well, maybe? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:51, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

And by the way I am leaving this message here because you asked me for it on my talk. Now your talk page will be very different from what it is now and you cannot change this! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:52, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, you noticed one of my entries. That's even cooler! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:53, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

edit Improving myki

Regarding your comment on UN:VFD, anyone is free to improve an article even though it has been nominated for deletion (and the nominator is expected to search through the history to find a version before any recent vandalism). We don't insist that an article be frozen for the time that a vote is being conducted on it. So do you know anything about Melbourne, Australia or its transit system? Suggesting that someone else volunteer is both valiant...and useless. Spıke ¬ 21:13 12-Aug-13

edit Crystal meth on VFD

See my vote there. I am beginning to wonder, especially in view of your request at the Forum for a mandate to clean up Uncyclopedia, if your goal is cleanliness or rather a perch from which to boss around other new Uncyclopedians. Please concentrate on small successes through writing funny stuff, rather than the instant imposition of your discipline on the website, as nothing here is instant. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 23:05 19-Aug-13

edit Sojourning Dicks

I confess ignorance if there is some real-world group that you are ridiculing in the page taking shape in your userspace, but be careful about

  1. Writing about nonexistent stuff, or
  2. Writing about stuff that exists, but under a pun page title that forces the reader to guess your punch line before they can read your joke.

We don't care what you write, as long as it's funny, but it needs to be in the form of an encyclopedia article to be in this project. Please create pages that seem to be about real things, then take them in any direction you like (but it helps if you take them in one specific comedy direction). Cheers! Spıke ¬ 13:26 20-Aug-13

edit University of Leicester

Auschwitz, ha ha ha--So, another good revert on your part! But please get in the habit of using the Change Summary to quickly explain not just what got reverted but why, so no one gets the feeling you're just swatting away Anon. Simsilikesims does this well. In the case of Anon, this is our only feedback, as someone who won't register only gets a talk page when we want to invite him to register. If the editor does have a user name, take a quick look and see if his talk page is red. Don't let any new user's first contact with us be getting his stuff undone or VFD'd until someone talks to him. Thanks! Spıke ¬ 21:54 22-Aug-13

edit User Theluseichronicler

Sir, your recent use of VFD, QVFD, a new template that I have deleted, and your post at User talk:Theluseichronicler regarding his new article Mizoram continue a recent pattern: Detecting Uncyclopedians who are slightly newer than you, but no worse writers than you, and attempting to delete their work.

In the case of this user, you created a template that warned him that unsuitable edits would be reverted, took over a page that was not in the best of condition, but for the time being is his project to take as far as he can, and told him on his talk page, "I am currently improving your first article....The earlier revisions had poor article quality...so I had to take place on the article for further improvement." Apart from the fact that this is bad English, it is also too uncivil even for Uncyclopedia. Please take 1 day to cool down. Spıke ¬ 22:59 25-Aug-13

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