User talk:Necropaxx

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Ye Eternal Home Of Ye Olde User Necropaxx
Home • Holy Cheese Prayers and Curses • My Master Works and other Junk • My Wonderful Awards • My Templates & Userboxes
Monday
7
December 2009

Here Thou Mayest Either Praise or Curse, Whichever Doth Suit Thee.
If you're interested, see Archive 1 -- From 26 April 2007 to 11 October 2007
See Also Archive 2 -- From 12 October 2007 to 2 July 2008
And Archive 3 -- From 12 July 2008 to 2 February 2009
& Archive 4 -- From 2 February 2009 to 4 May 2009
+ Archive 5 -- From 4 May 2009 to 24 July 2009
If you're still interested and/or a stalker, see Archive 6 -- From 28 July 2009 to 17 October 2009

Contents

[edit] late pee review thanks

hey necro, just wanted to say thanks for you review of 1993. it was very helpful, and it will definitely help me continue my quest to clean up the timeline, should i ever get off my ass and return to writing things for this silly website. thanks again! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 00:17, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, thanks. It was nothing, really. What's the situation with you not writing, then? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 00:30, Oct 18
i went back to grad school, so my total lifestyle change shock is just now wearing off. hopefully you'll see me continue my current attempt to be around! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 01:33, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
Cool! What are you er, majoring in? (is that the correct term?) • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 04:00, Oct 18
officially, i am continuing my astronomy studies. which means i am subtly continuing my quest to be the first person on mars. nuts to those show-off NASA test pilots! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 05:44, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
Very nice! Good luck, sir! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 07:48, Oct 18
You're just now thanking him for a review he did in 1993? That is late thanks.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  03:43, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, well, he's an Uncyclopedian. What do you expect? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Monday, 03:45, Oct 19
I took like this astronomy class once? The teacher tried to convince us that those tiny lights we see in the sky when it's like dark and stuff are like these mega balls of fire. I was like, what does he think we are, stupid? I know there's no air in space, and you can't have fire without air! Duh!     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:18, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
Careful there, partner. You don't want them science-y folks gettin' up in arms. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Monday, 04:19, Oct 19
I thought they were the holes in the fabric of the sky that you could see heaven peeking through, but you couldn't see them during the day because the sun was being pushed across the sky by a giant dung beetle.     HMV t 04:24, 19/10/2009
Oh, come now. That's just ridiculous. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Monday, 04:25, Oct 19
I agree - I think that it's just that the sun is a much bigger hole in the sky, and it's where God looks out.     HMV t 04:28, 19/10/2009
That's why you can't look at it directly--He'll fry your eyes out. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Monday, 04:31, Oct 19

[edit] PEAR

Damned spell check!     HMV t 00:41, 18/10/2009

How the heck did you get here so fast?! Darned radio puppies waiting in the wings... YOU'RE TURNING ME INTO A PARANOID, YOU KNOW!!! Thanks for the pear, it was quite tasty. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 00:43, Oct 18

[edit] Necropaxx' bee says

Sun Bee thanks for voting for our extinct species which will be featured on 21 Oct. 2009. Because you voted for, you are entitled to one jar of Sun Bee brand hot virgin honey. If you can find us.

    Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  05:46, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Why am I being imitated?

First PuppyontheRadio imitates my Why??? signature as How???, so I change mine to WHY not??? and now you've got your signature as How now???. Is this some kind of flattery, or are you trying to totally confuse me, or are you both trying to take credit for my tiny number of awards? It's not like you don't have enough of your own. But you can't have mine, NO NO NO! WHY not??? 00:07, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

No, none of those, although I laughed at some of the reasons. I was hoping to perpetuate the trend that Puppy started. Imagine if every user had a sig like yours! Madness! Hahahahaaa!! WHAT now??? Wednesday, 00:49, Oct 21 2009
I'll probably change it back soon. No offense, but I like my sig better. :P WHAT now??? Wednesday, 00:49, Oct 21 2009
Did you miss this one?     HMV t 02:12, 21/10/2009
Oh, forgot to mention that one. Also every time I log on recently your sig has changed. The one I really like is the black silhouette of the dog listening to his master's voice.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  02:34, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
You have started a trend. Now Mahm00shA is doing it too with HOW comes???.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  02:31, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
Relax, dude. I only used it once —Mahmoosh (Talk•stalk•Boobs•Anus•Poop) 03:12, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
Aw, come on! It'll be fun! WHAT now??? Wednesday, 03:57, Oct 21 2009

[edit] Thanks for the nom, Tom

In Recognition
Of Necropaxx's support and patronage
of the fine sport of Archery,
you are awarded one (1) gratuitous pantyshot.
Wear it with pride.

Love, WHY do I not know??? and WHERE brooklyn at??? 00:32, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome, er, Guido? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Thursday, 01:06, Oct 22 2009

[edit] And more thanks

Wikus van der Merwe thanks you for voting for BlueSpiritGuy as NotM. Because you did this he will not shoot you with his big fokken alien robot. As long as you leaves his cat food out.


Don't know Wikus? Go watch District 9 loser
--BlueSpiritGuy 18:02, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Google Chrome Screenshot of 22 Oct. 2009--please?

I should have asked you this earlier as there's not much time left. But could you (or anyone who reads this) make a Google Chrome screen shot of the Main Page for today, 22 Oct. 2009 (Uncyclopedia time). Not that I have an ego about having three things on the front page at once....     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  20:31, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448

Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers

By Gerrycheevers

As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point.

Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible.

Poo Lit Report

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie.

This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason.

UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late."

Fantasy Football Update

By Guildensternenstein

Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six’s storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid New England Patriots Domestic Team Name blew out the hapless Tennessee Titans Winnerz by an insane 109.38 to 0 after choking down a hard loss the previous week. The ironically-named Winnerz, on the other hand, still have yet to win a game. After a lackluster showing last week, The John Curry All-Stars earned a solid win against The Dudes, unseating them of their erstwhile #1 ranking in the process. After starting the season 0-4, Cheddar’s Doritians earned their second consecutive win, albeit against the floundering Dibiase’s Millions. Finally, Sternensteinenstine resoundingly defeated Oklahoma City Storm 164.06 to 118.98 after a lackluster showing the previous week, catapulting the Nazi-run team back atop the UFFL standings.

In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar’s Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase’s Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier.

Standings:

  1. Sternensteinenstine (5-1)
  2. Domestic Team Name (5-1)
  3. The Dudes (4-2)
  4. John Curry All-Stars (4-2)
  5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-3)
  6. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-4)
  7. Dibiase’s Millions (1-5)
  8. The Winnerz (0-6)

IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe.

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe.

Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious.

On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something.

Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 23:04, October 9, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.90.32.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.)
  • 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Dwarfman1122 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.)
  • 18:27, October 13, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.245.120.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(Please enjoy our token Fuck the Hell Off.....)
  • 08:10, October 15, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sudeepk9 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (wow, we are a beacon of sunshine today, aren't we?)
  • 21:27, October 17, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(A wizard did this.)
  • 17:36, October 19, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 72.93.168.203 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Liking Naruto and insisting we stop making fun of it. What? How is that not a reason to permanently ban someone?)
Biopic of the Week

Sog1970 has churned out a dozen featured articles in just a few short months, earning him a Writer of the Month nod and now, the most esteemed honor on Uncyclopedia, an UnSignpost biopic. The lack of information on his user page makes writing said biopic rather difficult, but let it be known that Sog radiates awesome.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

Life's Answerable Questions are a series of ponderances and queriums that have most certainly not chafed at mankind the way other, more disgustingly unanswerable questions have. For example, asking "What's new?" to a stranger will certainly elicit a less confused response than one of those other questions. You know the ones we mean.

CAJEKWATCH
  • 05:42, October 15, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 minutes ‎(Because I saw you existing.)
  • 01:23, October 16, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎(HOLY SHIT IT'S CAJEK HI CAJEK PS BANBANBAN LOLOLOL)
  • 13:21, October 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 147 seconds ‎(I think I'm stressed, I need a release, and this is the best available on this wiki)
Random Obscene Japanese Lesson
  • "Kimi no te de boku o ikasete." means "Make me cum with your hand."
  • "Kimi no oppai ga DEKAI yo! Ii nee." means "Your breasts are HUGE! Nice."
  • "Omawarisan! Chikan o tsuka-mate!" means "Police! Arrest this pervert!"

That should keep you little squirts happy...

Reason to Leave Uncyc #387

Still no good restaurants.

This Week in Uncyc, 1933

With the United States deep in a depression, the Uncyclopedia tri-weekly newsreel tried to lighten the mood by poking fun at American President Herbert Hoover and his bumbling sidekick of a Vice President, the famed Charles Curtis. Gags included, and were limited to, both individuals being hit repeatedly with rubber chickens.

Mass Delusion of the Week

Last week, many users claim to have had similar psychic visions of an alternate Main Page, which told them to do things in a calm, soothing voice. Such notions are of course nonsense; 7 out of the 10 members who sit on the Uncyclopedia Paranormal Activity Investigation and Acupuncture Licensing Board agree that a combination of swamp gas and Venus caused some users to hallucinate vividly, some nearly to the point of seizure.

Record for Most Boxes Tied

Due to the overwhelmingly large number of stories in this week's extremely humorous edition of the UnSignpost, a correspondingly overwhelmingly large number of space-wasting side boxes had to be added to cause the issue to weigh equally on both sides of reader's talk pages. As a result, the record for number of such boxes has been tied; this issue, along with the March 24th, 1983 edition, have had the most wasted space!

Record Broken!!!
UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot) Image:Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 18:15, Oct 23

[edit] Hey

Hey, I came here from suckish Polish Uncyclopedia, and I want to contribute here from now. But, in Poland we have a bit different rules, i.e. how to put legallyarticle to Did You Know section? Thanks in advance for answer. Ptok-Bentoniczny 22:24, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Your English is a little off. I'm assuming you meant how to legally put an article in the DYK section? Well, you can't. Did You Know? is for cheesy one-liners. I'm not sure what you mean by your question. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Saturday, 04:24, Oct 24 2009

[edit] Vanity is mine, sayeth the Lord

I just came across this. Thank you for including me. No, really, thank you.     HMV t 11:35, 24/10/2009

Heh, you're welcome. =D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Saturday, 23:48, Oct 24 2009

[edit] Thanks for your vote!

According to your ISP's records, you supported file sharing.

The Recording Industry Association of AmericaTM has notified the authorities of your unacceptable political views. Lars Ulrich will shortly visit your residence in our name to kick your teeth out.

In the meantime, thank you for voting.

--Andorin Kato 17:58, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Oh my!

Case in point: Totally hot, and you have no chance.
Exhibit B: Non-Mormon chick. Nasty, innit?

...ooooh mmmmyyyy...   Her Cajekiness • <5:22 Oct 27, 2009>

...You're joking right? Ha ha, very funny mister man. I'm gonna get Rahb to ban you.   Her Cajekiness • <5:22 Oct 27, 2009>
I was just looking for a more direct contrast to "encyclopedic" articles. Modus can get pretty zany, but he's got nothing on you. He writes more "political" articles rather than "zany". Really, that's all there is to it. It's not like I find your articles funny. Please. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 05:26, Oct 27 2009
It must be because you like me on a personal level. Yeah. I have that effect on the ladies Mormons lady Mormons.   Her Cajekiness • <5:35 Oct 27, 2009>
Speaking of Lady Mormons: they are much hotter than normal ladies, only now you absolutely don't have a chance with them! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 05:37, Oct 27 2009
I'm going to Provo (I know where it is) and I'm telling all those hotties about your "encyclopedic" article on Antbortions. /me shakes head, then slowly lowers it... then lifts it again, like me's about to say something, then slowly lowers it again.   Her Cajekiness • <5:42 Oct 27, 2009>
I showed it to one of the guys in my hall and he cracked up! I was like, "how dare you like this?!" We Mormons are an evile, evile folk. Well, I am anyway. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 05:43, Oct 27 2009
Wait wait wait... do I get both those chicks or only one? I'm sorry, swine flu is slowing me down. Send confirmation!   Her Cajekiness • <5:51 Oct 27, 2009>
Read the shirts, silly. Also, AHHHH SWINE FLU!!! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 05:53, Oct 27 2009
But only one of them is wearing a shirt. A shirt I can read. With words. SEND CONFIRMATION!!!!   Her Cajekiness • <5:56 Oct 27, 2009>
I don't have the type of "confirmation" you're looking for. Although, a thought has struck me: I shall give you the answer in Book of Mormon prose: "*ahem* And it came to pass, that the one who was the hot Mormon chick said unto that servant of the devil, even that Cajek, 'I don't go for med students.' And the Cajek was struck as though he were dumb, and the hot Mormon chick did leave him to be trodden underfoot by the people, yea, verily it did come to pass thusly." • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 06:00, Oct 27 2009
That can't be the book of Mormon. It doesn't say "And it came to pass" enough. math where P = Puppy and R = Radio 06:06, 27/10/2009
That was just one verse. Considering that every verse in the book begins and ends with it, I'd say your claims are pretty unfounded. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 06:08, Oct 27 2009
My online username is mentioned in every. single. line. of the Mormon scriptures.   Her Cajekiness • <6:09 Oct 27, 2009>
That's what she said! Seriously, what? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 06:13, Oct 27 2009
Oh, ha, I misread POTR's... thing... look, I'm having two flamewars at the same time, AND I just got turned down by two women during this one. I don't have time for accuracy.   Her Cajekiness • <6:18 Oct 27, 2009>
Dude. You got turned down by two women. You've got all the time in the world. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 06:19, Oct 27 2009
Wait... I also have swinitis fuckin' swine flu.   Her Cajekiness • <6:25 Oct 27, 2009>
That stinks. Also, I read User:Cajek/IRC1: you and RAHB are geniuses! Geniuses, I say! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 06:30, Oct 27 2009
Just reread it: you're right. That was pretty freaking hilarious. I think that's when I wrote my solitary number one hit of the year.   Her Cajekiness • <6:44 Oct 27, 2009>
Speaking of your faves, I'm only in there once! TKF is in there, like 40 times! What the heck, man?! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 06:45, Oct 27 2009
Before I go to bed, are you referring to User:Cajek/faves? (will get around to responding tomorrow)   Her Cajekiness • <6:57 Oct 27, 2009>
Yeah. It's the one where I put the verbal (written?) smackdown on Dexter on a VFH nom. Other than that, I'm nowhere to be seen. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 22:34, Oct 27 2009
This what I get for having users on my watchlist. *Sniff* Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 08:22, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
I keep sitting down at the computer and thinking I'll write an article, and then find myself nattering on everybodies talk-page. This conversation stuff really messes with my communication. math where P = Puppy and R = Radio 08:56, 27/10/2009
I can delete and protect your talkpage if you want. That's what I would do, if I wasn't so desperate for human contact. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 09:00, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
It's this talk page that's causing all the problems. I would appreciate you deleting and protecting it for me. math where P = Puppy and R = Radio 09:20, 27/10/2009
We have been getting a considerable number of complaints about it. It's like New York in Ghostbusters. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 16:45, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
Modus, you can't guilt me into putting you back on my userpage. It won't work. No matter how you try to seduce me into doing it, it won't work. My resolve is unshakeable! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Tuesday, 22:32, Oct 27 2009
Well, if it's unshakable. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 05:06, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
Absolutely unshakable! No way, no how will you shake my unshakable resolve! It cannot be done! Why, nothing at all could even possibly shake my resolve! Nothing at all, etc. etc. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Friday, 06:02, Oct 30 2009
To be honest, I've already forgotten what we were talking about. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 07:09, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost 29-10-2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69

Better than ED, of course

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After having hit the 25,000 articles mark, it's worth knowing what other people think of this wiki as it's walking down the sidewalk in its high heels and short skirt. So here are some Google searches for hits on Uncyclopedia in the last week and what it came up with:

A Star Control II forum or something-rather found here remarks on Uncyclopedia's SC2 article and other entries. Lauding such as "Uncyclopedia rocks..." overshadowed the naysaying remarks about the wiki being immature and for poopfaced doo-doo heads. The most insightful comment, by a user dubbed "Son of Atares", says, "It definitely beats Enyclopedia Dramatica in terms of funny, but that really isn't saying anything at all." Agreed.

On a Polish forum for Polish things, Polish people, and Polish things that Polish people do, some Poles or something have a great laugh at Uncyclopedia making fun of their homecountry. One ED fangirl attempts to advertise her nonsense, only to be ignored over the lulz and tears shed from reading Uncyclopedia.

Finally, a forum for progressive rock fans also enjoys some laughs at the prog rock article and the article about their own forum. That guy from There Will Be Blood blatantly lies in an attempt to seem better than thou by boldly claiming, "Uncyclopedia is not funny." Our official response to this criticism? He likes Miley Cyrus. Been there, done that, got the genital warts. The last post to the forum by the gender-confused dinosaur Littlefoot from The Land Before Time reads, " I actually think the prog articles and ProgArchives pages on Uncyclopedia are generally embarrassing attempts at funny by people who do not understand subtlety or delivery in comedy." And then a smiley face, because I guess he pwnt us or something.

Fantasy Football Midseason Meanderings

By Guildensternenstein

In real sports, midseason is typically when “experts” make “predictions” about how “the rest of the season” will “play out,” and the UFFL is no exception. Here are this author’s predictions for the rest of the season, by team:

1. Sternensteinenstine (6-1): Already a game ahead and looking forward to a soft schedule in the coming weeks, Sternensteinenstine’s dominance of the UFFL will continue for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood, the Nazi Juggernaut will sweep the rest of the season with relative ease, become overconfident, take on the world’s largest nation by land area, and eventually be defeated by an international alliance in mankind’s most destructive conflict ever. Finish 13-1 (#1 seed), at the cost of 3.7 million casualties.

2. The Dudes (5-2): Facing a similarly weak series of opponents in weeks hence, The Dudes look to continue their winning ways. At about Week 11, though, they’ll run into trouble, and spend the rest of their season getting high. Finish 8-6 (#4 seed).

3. Domestic Team Name (5-2): A solid team built around consistent players, the team of housewives and aprons does relatively well the rest of the year, but gets screwed Week 8 for not having the foresight to draft a quarterback that doesn’t have a bye in Week 8. Finish 10-4 (#2 seed).

4. John Curry All-Stars (5-2): Another solid team, the All-Stars will play well for the rest of the season, but wane down the stretch when their manager loses interest in favor of watching hockey. They still make the playoffs, however. Finish 57-25-11 9-5 (#3 seed).

5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-4): OCS is a hard seed to crack. Despite possessing one of the league’s most devoted managers, too much depends on inconsistent and disappointing players at key positions, not to mention the team’s susceptibility to tornadoes. Finish 6-8.

6. Dibiase’s Millions (2-5): The victim of not one, but two running back busts, Dibiase’s Millions have been struggling to find their stride all year, and given the production of Matt Forte and Steven Jackson, will continue to do so. Finish 4-10.

7. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-5): Though they have won two of their last three games, Cheddar’s Doritans will more than likely miss the playoffs due to their slow start. Putting too much faith in one team probably doesn’t help, either. Finish 6-8.

8. The Winnerz (0-7): Ironically enough, the Winnerz can't win. Even more ironically, if the Winnerz could figure out how to select their starting roster, they wouldn’t be half-bad. Unfortunately, signs point to the team not being able to figure that out, at least for this and possibly next season. Finish 0-14.

Cajek Ban Smackdown of the Week[1]
  • 22:35, October 26, 2009 Mordillo blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 10 seconds ‎ (CAJEK!)
  • 05:15, October 27, 2009 RAHB blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (Cleanup)
  • 16:23, November 2, 2009 Under user blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 37 seconds ‎ (because I answered someone's question on your talk page. no, I didn't have to, but that's not the point, is it? I'm not sure what the point IS, but it's not THAT. got it?)
  1. ↑ Remember when we did those every week? Good times. Good times.
Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 15:37, October 26, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.19.209.66 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Cyberbullying: you, sir, need to go fuck yourself.)
  • 15:54, October 28, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 117.198.153.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Messing up WILDE?! ARE YOU NUTS?!)
  • 22:51, October 28, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.27.83.43 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Four strikes, you're done.)
Biopic of the Week

When PuppyOnTheRadio first appeared on the Uncyclopedia scene, everybody was wondering "What's the deal with that puppy leaving his excrement all over the place and barking at the radio?" But suddenly he started writing articles and doing reviews. And he won Noob of the Month. And Reviewer of the Month. But then his terrible secret was revealed. Puppy turned out to be gay bisexual. And an Australian too. Puppy has written many great articles, has proven himself to be a formatting genius and postmodern artist, and he recently won Writer of the Month and Best Alt. Namespace Article in Poo Lit Surprise. Many are wondering what will be his next step in shaping Uncyclopedia history.

Old School Featured Article of the Week
This joke was preceded with, "I think my wife is leaving me...".

Rogue Punchlines are extremely short jokes that can be placed after almost anything and be funny. They are both a study in minimalism and the adaptability and versatility of some jokes. Many consider Rogue Punchlines to be stupid, but you're stupid.

See? That was a rogue punchline, on loan for this article from the Oslo Museum of Humorology, and used with thanks. Work with me here....that was another one. So's your face.

Excuse for Late Delivery of the Week

Daylight Savings has unfortunately confused our editors, who misused the 'spring forward, fall back' rule to conclude that the UnSignpost should be delivered at least three days late. Also, the UnSignpost offices are full of springs of various sizes, (and one back, due to a "hilarious" misunderstanding) further complicating this issue's completion. Please accept our staff's sincerest apologies.

This Week in Uncyc, 1096 AD

With the Crusades in full swing, Uncyclopedia took full advantage by publishing searing article after searing article mocking the Holy Roman Empire. Of course, Uncyclopedia was then known as Ye Oldde Unſſyloppediary Almanacke and was written mostly on bits of wood, and the 'searing' quality of the articles was mostly due to the intense flammability of that wood.

Competition Hoe-Down

With the PLS recently wrapping up, Conservation Week in full swing, and the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rapidly approaching, Uncyclopedians have a November-appropriate cornucopia of opportunities for the crushing defeat associated with losing one or more of these competitions.

Explanation of the Week

This week, there will be no admin of the week.[1] This is because Zim ulator decided to post a comment in the press room in the hope of making it into your UnSignpost, and we're not gonna give that big ol' dick the satisfaction. You hear me, Zim? YOU'RE NEVER GETTING IN THIS... Oh shit.[2]

  1. ↑ Oh wait. We never did anything of the likes. Just forget everything I said then.
  2. ↑ Oh. And for the regular new and improved Cajek bans, look to your left.
UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot) Image:Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:37, Nov 3

[edit] I followed your advice

You said Jamie Lynn Spears was good but you abstained because you and some other people thought it needed to be expanded. I asked for it to be withdrawn from VFH so I could expand it. I promised I'd let everybody know when it was ready well it's back on VFH! Dame Pleb Cpt. Miley Spears (talk) 07:35, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Attn: Regarding an article hosted on your website

Dear Mr/Ms Necropaxx,

Greetings. I am the lawyer for Arthur C. Clarke's estate.

It has come to my assistant's attention that you recently supported an article on this website (henceforth referred to as "Uncyclopedia"), namely the article titled 2001: A Space Odyssey, to be featured on the website front page.

We are honoured, although, of course:
1. We are fully aware of just how monumentally great the film is, and
2. We are preparing a suit against you for supporting copyright infringement, and the author of the article (referred to as "MacMania") is currently under arrest at Sri Lanka (not Ceylon).*

However, we would be obliged if you would be able to do us one small favour. As interim representatives of Clarke's estate, we are in talks with Random House to commission a fifth book to add to the 2001 trilogy of four books. We've always been of the opinion that 3001: The Final Odyssey was too bleak of a book, and we would love to have the series finish on a slightly more upbeat note.
We were thinking 3010: And Another Odyssey, by J K Rowling?

Please let us know.

Your obedient servant (in a figurative sense)

James Steel

c/o Alesha Phillips
London
EC4M 7EH
UK

* Why Ceylon got the works is nobody's business but the Sinhalese.

It's a bit late, but not as late as a late parrot. Thanks! MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Sir MacMania GUN—[13:52 3 Nov 2009]

[edit] Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:33, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Your quote

"I think encyclopedic articles that parody Wikipedia are the soul of the site." --Necropaxx

You mean somebody actually feels that way, that it's all right for the "Uncyclopedia" to sound like an encyclopedia? From comments I've seen on VFH, it seems many people specifically do not want to see encyclopedic articles. Rather odd, huh? Just wanted to post that I like your statement.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  03:38, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Well, shucks. Thanks. Although I haven't really been doing encyclopedic tone that often lately. (The UnMystery, HowTo:Fish, etc.) I hope I can get back into that style. Anyway, thanks a lot! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Wednesday, 03:41, Nov 4 2009

[edit] I couldn't help but notice

that you had voted for on that Flood life lessons article/list/rant triple hybrid monster thing a while back. I only got to listen to Flood a few weeks ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it, then reread that Flood life lessons article thing and thoroughly enjoyed that. Then I was somehow inspired to write this sordid shell of a half-done article. Do you think it would be salvageable upon completion? MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Sir MacMania GUN—[05:27 5 Nov 2009]

Sorry, that just went way over my head. I voted for Hype's article not because I got the references, but because the premise was so hilarious. Your article, I'm afraid, leaves me confused. But it's my own fault for not listening to TMBG. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Thursday, 06:35, Nov 5 2009
Gotcha. Thanks. Time to gain inspiration somewhere else ... MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Sir MacMania GUN—[14:51 5 Nov 2009]

[edit] Doth thee want to collab?

This. I'm rewriting it, and I need your help.. • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 • 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png • 18px-Foxicon.png • 06:47, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Um, I'm not sure. What direction are you going with it? Why is it 2nd-person POV? Also, I don't listen to heavy metal, so I am guaranteed to not get the Nile references. I'd be willing to do some work on it, but not until I know your concept. Also, I liked it how it was before. :( • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Thursday, 18:25, Nov
It will basically remain the same as before, only with the creepy guy telling the crazy stories, then turning out to be a conman in the end. Also, no Nile or heavy metal references, only Ancient Egyptian ones. Also, you are now the co-author, you may scratch it all and totally rewrite with a whole new concept. • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 • 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png • 18px-Foxicon.png • 18:33, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

 Voting For Godot  
  The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"  

Thanks, <insert name here>, for ruining the pathos of my plight by voting for my featured article.

[edit] Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:31, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] papyrus

I restored it to the old version that you liked.. And made it an unbook.. Now, it only needs a minor rewrite and some polishing then it's good to go. Are you in? • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 • 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png • 18px-Foxicon.png • 18:55, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

I can't promise that I'll be terribly useful, but I'll definitely work on it this weekend. If I find time to do it during the week all the better, right? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Monday, 19:12, Nov 9 2009
Ok. • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 • 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png • 18px-Foxicon.png • 19:30, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

 There is a featured article beyond all featured articles known to man...  
At the sign-post up ahead...

You have just crossed over into... the Thank You Zone.

The Global Tourniquet says "Thanks for voting for my featured article"


[edit] Two noms in a row

I've been sitting on them for a while, and given that I'm not spending as much time here as I used to I figured that I might as well get both of them in while I could. math where P = Puppy and R = Radio

Dude. I was joking. I've often considered nominating everything I've ever made that wasn't featured just to clog up page. Also, congratulations on getting the job! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 05:48, Nov 22 2009

[edit] Gone Vote Changing

Notice this and that? You're welcome.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  03:17, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you muchly, Why. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Wednesday, 06:00, Nov 25 2009

I violated your user space here. You see, when I was new here, I looked for an article that was on PLS but had been moved and renamed and was thus a double redirect which was removed and then I couldn't find the article and then told everybody about it after I finally found it and asked permission to let people know and then did a single redirect and it took me over an hour to do it so to avoid all that because your article fits the exact same situation I just violated your user space and posted a note letting you know here that took me over an hour to write OK not really on that last part.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  22:13, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Mordillo huffed my redirect, but changed the PLS page so it would redirect to your article. (It doesn't fix the page that has the judges votes, though).     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  23:05, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Pee Review of article about ME

I Pee Reviewed Why?:Do I need to provide this? based on version 4236705 of 10:28, November 24, 2009. I hope this helps!     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  21:56, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Horribly in-jokey, but it needs to have ??? after the question in the body text. It won't have a negative effect on the article for the unelightened reader, but I couldn't help expecting it somewhere in the article. Also the watermark on the third image looks nasty. Otherwise I agree with the thrust of the rest of the review. math where P = Puppy and R = Radio
I wouldn't mind a little ??? WHY??? 23:01, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Jamie Lynn Spears Preggers Thank

Miley Spears thanks you for voting For the VFH nominated
Jamie Lynn Spears.
It was selected as the
Feature article
for November 19, 2009!
Dame Pleb Cpt. Miley Spears (talk) 01:41, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Count to a Million

In my defence I live under the constant expectation that alcohol will ....well actually good spot. mattlobster. (hello) 23:47, November 28, 2009 (UTC)

Ah, it's fine. At least it didn't go any farther than that! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 02:46, Nov 29 2009

[edit] Shucks and Dadgummit

See my response to your thanks here     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  05:52, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks!

Avast!

We at The Pirate Bay thank you for your support of our operations! If ever you find yourself in Sweden, drop by the Bay and enjoy our hospitality.
--Andorin Kato 07:24, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks <insert name here> for promoting homelessness

Because you voted for the article featured 1 Dec. 2009, many, many more people will now know HowTo:Be Homeless in America. Look for them coming to your house to thank you!

    Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  19:32, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Conservapedia

For questions about the background of Conservapedia, you should check out RationalWiki. Despite being a wretched hive of liberal villainy, they document the goings-on of Conservapedia pretty well, specifically the things the would rather cover up (like retired admins or the FBI incident). It might delay your ban a little longer if you look before asking.

I'm confused by your third point about Conservapedia's lack of claim to authority. You're asking them to lie to you? I'd rather have someone say "Look, I'm just another mortal trying to do my best here, so that's what I'm going to do and I hope God will guide me" than have him claim to be the next Mohammed Joseph Smith prophet. But that's just me. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 18:44, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for the links. I must say, neocons terrify me. And I love the descriptor you use for RationalWiki: "wretched hive of liberal villainy." Hee!
Also, if someone claims to have been commissioned by God, it is fairly easy to tell if they are genuine or not. "By your fruits ye shall know them" and all that. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Friday, 20:42, Dec 4 2009
Easy to say that, and yet no one can seem to agree on whose fruits are really legit. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 07:29, December 5, 2009 (UTC)
There are two types of people in this world-- those who agree with me and those who are wrong. There's also that denial thing, too. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Saturday, 07:53, Dec 5 2009
There are two types of people in this world-- me and everybody else. There's also that Holocaust denial thing, too.• MAHMOOSHA 2.0 • 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png • 18px-Foxicon.png • 08:20, December 5, 2009 (UTC)
You're weird. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Saturday, 08:24, Dec 5 2009
Stand in the line. :p • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 • 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png • 18px-Foxicon.png • 09:08, December 5, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UOTM

I've cast my vote towards Why??? for this, and given a fairly extended explanation as to why, which also might be taken as a criticism of you if you choose to read it that way. Just like to say that I had trouble voting last month because I couldn't pick between the three of you, and it's only because I have been mulling this over for over a month now that I could choose, so please don't take anything that I have said as a criticism of you - just more as a huge vote of support for Why??? math where P = Puppy and R = Radio

Dude. I don't care. Go vote for Why. More power to you. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 02:03, Dec 6 2009
Didn't think it would be an issue, but just wanted to explain the decision. I'm thinking whichever one of you two doesn't get it this month will get it next anyway. math where P = Puppy and R = Radio
DRAMA!!!! --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 03:51, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
*gasp* POTR, are you fixing the UotM elections?! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 07:45, Dec 6 2009
Are they broken? math where P = Puppy and R = Radio
Oh, and don't think I didn't see that little advertisement you left on the talk page. Shame! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Sunday, 08:27, Dec 6 2009

[edit] Thanks a lot!

You voted to make H1N1 a front-page story!

Exposing millions to fear and spreading paranoia! And now the story has mutated! Misinformation everywhere! ...thanks a lot!!!

Sir Roger 00:40, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

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