User talk:NaturalBornKieler

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edit Welcome!

Hello, NaturalBornKieler, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Village Dump Forum, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit Re: Deutsche Grammatik

Danke schön für die Anmerkung an meinen Benutzer Diskussionseite; es freut mich, dass du so gern Probleme mit meine Grammatik an Benutzerseite findest. Aber ich halte es für wichtig, dass ich schlecte Grammatik schreiben kann, wenn ich es für lustig finde. Also, bitte verpissen Sie auf (notizieren Sie, dass ich es höflich sage). Es ist mein Benutzerseite, und wenn Sie es nicht lustig finden, das ist deine Problem! Danke und auf Wiedersehen, Ninjastar-no Megalomaniac Martin “The Unfortunately Unfeatured” Ultima(VOTE FOR ME!)talk(AND MY PICS TOO!)contribs 03:43, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

P.S. – if you're having trouble understanding that, I've found that Google's translator works remarkably well for getting the basic gist across, I'm sure that you would rather agree. ~multima

edit Welcome to UnNews

You may notice I've ICU tagged your article, UnNews:South America bans imports of soccer players. Don't take this the wrong way, but my first article is still around... heh heh... cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 21:56, 4 September 2007 (UTC)

Che Ape
Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, NaturalBornKieler, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 21:56, 4 September 2007 (UTC)

edit Crazy fat kid!

{{need fat kid}}

Yeah, uh, whatever ... NaturalBornKieler 22:11, 11 October 2007 (UTC)

edit Nobel Prize

I guessed you weren't a native English speaker :) Nevertheless your article was very good and deserved some TLC. Let me know if you want any more help proofreading / editing. Cheers Philg88 01:14, 12 October 2007 (UTC)

edit Bitte

I was pleased to do the audio, but please do not consider it a special favour. I tend to do things for no reason and little rhyme, but I commit my UnNews atrocities on a purely hallucinogenic level. That aside, I am so pleased that we have a person from the Continent, and a non-native english speaker at that, doing something funny with us, and something which crosses languages in UnNews. We are becoming a power to be reckoned with... in ignorance, there is strength!!! Say hello to the Chancellor for me please. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:18, 30 January 2008 (UTC)

edit Travel Guide

Hi NBK, I've proofread your Travel Guide article - I didn't have too much to change, and I hope you like the minor additions I made. I love the article, and am very seriously considering putting it on VFH when it's cleared up a little. You've met a lot of Brits abroad, haven't you? ;-) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:23, 15 February 2008 (UTC)

Well, I went ahead and nommed it. I think it's excellent and deserves featuring, let's see who agrees with me. Good luck! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 16:16, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
And it's made it! Yay! I'm really glad to see this make feature - congratulations. I'd dust off what little German I learned in school to congratulate you, but I've forgotten how to spell most of it (and I never really found much use for it beyond ordering Chicken and Chips while ski-ing in places like Söll! ) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 21:02, Mar 3

edit Hallo

Hey, ich bin kein Deutscher, aber ich wohne hier (in Mannheim) freut mich, dass jemand aus Deutschland fuer uns schreibt. Es gibt ein paar Amis, die Deutsch sprechen koennen. Ich bin Englisch Lehrer und ich bin hier in Dland seit Mai. Wir sollen irgendwann etwas zusammen schreiben...wenn du irgendwelche Ideen hast, sag mir Bescheid! <trink>Prost!</trink> Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut

edit Hi

You asked about the graphics on my olympic article. Sadly most of the pictures are copyrighted - The black and white symbols and photos aren't though. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 06:03, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

edit Really really really really really really late thanks

I felt like making one after all those months --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 12:43, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

Nice to see you kicking around again --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 14:15, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

edit Mo wives

Ah I see. Wikipedia does say 11. I got the 30 from here. I guess we can switch back since 11 looks like a verified number. --Allahgator 12:14, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

edit UnNews:NASA starts preparations for fake manned Mars landing

I just saw this as you added it. Good idea, I like it! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:37, Jun 2

edit Old Cluster bomb news

Awesome. The end. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 13:52, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

edit South Park Pic

Fancy adding yourself to this gallery? (Use this) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:29, Jun 9

Thanks NBK. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:12, Jun 9

edit Many thanks

For helping clean up after those forum fanboys went on their little spazz-out. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 17:41, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

edit Bad loan

I really liked that. One of the more satirical pieces I've seen here. Too bad I seem to be in the minority on this one. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 17:51, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

If you're interested in collaboration in general: check out my Total Trash (unless you have already). I have some software to make pictures (Maya, Photoshop, Freehand) and there are no theoretical limits to what I can do (in my article Blank hole there's a spaceship, a really quickly modeled piece, for a taste of 3D stuff... but really it's a quickie, much more can be done. Note that the article is not my favorite, I just started writing it to see what it turns into.). I like strict satire, but also different kinds of humour. I've taken it upon me to build a universe - with a friend who now has major health issues. If you want to partake, tell me, we can meet in the chatroom and see what we can do. Ideas flow quicker if there's instant feedback, I've noticed. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 10:16, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
It's 13:50 now, I'm in Finland. Going to chatroom, meet you there if you have time. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 10:51, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
I'll be in the chatroom this evening, starting at around 20 or 21 my time - it's now 15.04. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 12:05, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

edit Noble

edit Another idea...

The templates like schitzophrenologic loser cricket could be put to use (see template:multi_noun for how it works). I like the random stuff that can be created but the idea around it must be clever, same as the list of words. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 19:38, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

edit Cavepainting ready to be written

-- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 15:04, 7 October 2008 (UTC) True what you said - but I came up with a reason: it is a horse, and scientists are speculating if the horse had already been tamed at the time - for riding, or for some other reason? Meet you in chat if you have time, I'll be there in half an hour or so -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 17:05, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

edit Credit crunch

Hey man, I liked your article about the Zimbabwe dollars bailing out the economy. Could you help me with the credit crunch article? I've updated it with pictures and jokes to try and make it funnier. Also, is credit crunch just a British term for the financial crisis, or is it used in the US too? (I'm not sure where editors are from you see).

Mostly Zen 17:58, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

edit Back yet?

Hi, let me know when you're back from the trip. The horsey boner news stayed on top for days, maybe more than a week. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 20:41, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Started a piece with a friend, concerning orcs and how their language was even fouler than has been believed. I'll post you a link when I have it in some kind of a shape - you're welcome to edit it. Also the play thingy is well on its way.

-- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 19:02, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Here you go:

Meet me in chat some day when you can I have a couple of general ideas. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 20:02, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

edit Interwikis

Sorry about destroying the interwikis for the Diana article. Not sure what they are though, I'm presuming you mean the bits at the bottom of the article? Calindreams 13:33, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the info - so the link on the page doesn't appear unless their is a corresponding article? Calindreams 14:29, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

I can't see any links on the Princess Di page though. Calindreams 14:43, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

They're there Calindreams, probably best to leave it to them Germans, they're an efficiant lot;)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:00, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
Found them! I see what you mean - unfortunately I can't go on to the german wiki at work. I looked at the Spanish one and tried translating a section on google translator - we do miss out. Are there any good ideas we could plagiarise get inspiration from on the German version? Calindreams 15:07, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Ah - sounds good, but you're right, it doesn't fit. Calindreams 15:25, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

edit Herman The German

A big welcome for your Herman the German article as part of the classical history section ! I have also put a link to the Augustus page. --Romartus 10:04, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the message. There isn't 'classical section' as such . Since I started contributing - my main work has been continuing the line of Roman emperors with Zarbag. I had long wanted to replace the original Augustus article as the original was total rubbish and had no relation to anything that had gone before or after.

Regards Drusus - I am aware he started the German campaigns and they were a regular 'battlefield' for the Roman armies for the next 400 years. I did have an idea about the German tribes and who they were (thinking about Tacitus's Germania work) but I admit I wasn't sure if I could find enough humour there as yet. You could always do a piece about the German tribes/nations as that is an area that would link in with the Roman Empire articles.

IF you don't mind - I would like to tidy up some of your Herman article as regards grammar and other bits where I don't think it makes quite the right sense in English. I can see Zarbag has already added some changes. --Romartus 19:41, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Free Stuff

Google-tshirt thumbnail While I was over at the Googleplex researching History of Google
I managed to grab a load of these promotional t-shirts.
Here's one for you because you voted for the article on VFH!
Model not included.
Thankyou from Rabbi Techno

edit Bgaaaah!

edit Your Work with German Uncyclopedia... insanely impressive. I'm jealous. —Sir Guildensternenstein 16:49, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

So what's it like being German? Do you get to wear pointy hats, even if it's not your birthday? --CrabPope 17:52, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Der Unwehr

Check this out, and join if you really want to: User:Guildensternenstein/Der UnwehrSir Guildensternenstein 21:30, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Blankety blank

Sorry I haven't got back to you about the spacing issue. To be honest - and thanks for the link - the problem is more to do with German rather than English. I don't know of an English grammar/formatting rule on this problem.

I did start re-writing some of your article but as you can see I have stopped. I wanted to keep your ideas and prose (they are yours after all) without imposing my style instead. Not easy ! I have this in mind to look at it again soon. --Romartus 07:44, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Thanks

edit Hi

I'm working on an article that requires input from someone with German-speaking fluency (or at least a decent knowledge of it), do you think you could lend a hand? Thanks --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 10:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Hi, excellent work, exactly what I needed, thank you.--El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 09:24, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

edit Foreign office

Hallo, man hat mir gesagt, mit dir zu sprechen, weil du etwas wie der deutsche Botschafer bist, auche wenn es noch nicht offiziell ist. Also, falls jemand in hilfe braucht, um etwas aus Italienisch zu übersetzen, kann man mir Problemlos fragen. (Ich entschuldige mich, wenn es Fehlern gibt, leider ist Deutsch nicht meine Muttersprache) --MFH (talk) 22:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

edit The Foreign Office (UPDATE)

Hi NBK, just to inform you of the latest from The Foreign Office. All has gone well so far, lots of people are interested (only the Czechs and Thai aren't interested so far) and many contributions have already been made. The next step is to ensure interest in each community. That is done through whoring casual mentioning of The Foreign Office on your website, perhaps a link or something, just to make sure that people are aware of the project.

Furthermore, Fire Wolf has a great idea so that we can all get to know each other and discuss our ideas and plans for the project and perhaps come up with some rules or definitions of how it will work best. He suggests an IRC chat at some point between all the ambassadors and interested parties. Tell me if you're interested, or if you have any alternative ideas :) --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 20:30, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Hi again NBK, the latest news is that we are still unresolved regarding how best to communicate. I have set up The Assembly as a place for us, the ambassadors, to discuss stuff - including how best to discuss stuff. There is a list there that we need to populate with all the ambassadors' preferences. --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 22:50, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
Guten Abend, NBK. Ich habe gesehen dass Sie einen Artikel haben auf einen fahrenden Holländer (ja, ich habe's gesehen!) Obschon Sie sagen dass die Holländer es nicht sollen lesen, denke ich dass dieser Artikel vielleicht tüchtig ist für die Oncyclopedia (haha! Wir haben wohl einen eigenen Name!) Aber vielleicht mussen wir es ein bisschen ändern.
Und nun mein Fahrrad zurück! :P | Write on! Lars - Nederland en Vlaanderen - De Staten-Generaal | 20:48, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

edit Foreign Office (Update)

Hi NBK, just to keep you up to date with what is happening with the Foreign Office. So far it has been a success; all sites with over 1,000 articles (with the exception of Sweden, Israel, Finland, the Czech Republic and Greece) have signed on to the project, and we have so far translated 4 articles.

  • To see a full list of countrys+ambassadors at present go here.
  • To see the list of articles completed since the Foreign Office started go here.

You will also notice that on the main page, in addition to the "Translation Suggestions" and "Translated Articles" there are now 2 discussion pages for each language, one for articles being translated from that language and one for articles being translated to that language, don't underestimate how useful these can be as a hub for translation in your language (and for people who want help translating from your language). Feel free to customise (add pictures/change formatting) of your sections of the main page and your discussion pages, they are your embassies within the Foreign Office hub.

The next stage is organising a chat for all the ambassadors, so it would be very helpful if (assuming you haven't already) you can go to The Assembly and down to where it says "Poll", then suggest/comment on what you think is best for a means of communication.

After this, when we have everyone's opinions in, we can consider organising a chat in which we can clarify and develop a few ideas and maybe discuss some collaborative projects and such.

Thanks, Siddhartha Wolf --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 19:20, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Sorry about the mis-spelling, I just copy/pasted it from the other list (and I wrote that list in a rush), no implied offense or anything I assure you ;) --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 20:00, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

edit The Foreign Office - Meeting

Hello there, just a nice short polite message to force you at gunpoint to come over to THE ASSEMBLY to discuss our first meeting (now that it seems everyone is available) regarding the Foreign Office. :)

Also, we hope all is well with your country and its wonderful citizens,


Sir Siddhartha-Wolf El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 00:14, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit Foreign Office Official Opening Meeting Bonanza (+ !!!FREE FOOD/WINE/GIRLS!!![1])

Good evening/morning/afternoon ambassador, I am here to inform you that on Saturday 21 November (for most of you this will be today), at 19:00 GMT there will be a meeting to discuss the future running and potential projects relating to our wonderful enterprise, The Foreign Office. This meeting will take place in the following room:


Arrive between 18:00 and 19:00, if no-one is there, keep the window open and someone will turn up soon. The room will be populated by one of our ambassadors until 21:00 GMT, or later if necessary, so if you will be late, do not worry, we will inform you of any breakthroughs made in the course of the evening. Please choose a nickname that reflects who you actually are, perhaps with the uncyc nationality included somehow (I would be Siddhartha-Wolf-ENG, for example). If you have any problems or queries, do not hesitate to ask someone that isn't me (oh okay, you can ask me...).

Yours sincerely,

Siddhartha Wolf (--El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 00:31, November 21, 2009 (UTC))

    1. Of the virtual variety

edit Dutch-German Contact

Hi Kieler, Artec of the Oncyclopedia has said he can translate articles from German to Dutch (vice versa will be harder.) If you've got an article that you think would suit the Oncy very well, please contact him. By the way, we're not going to import the Driving Dutchman, it wasn't really our style after all. By the way, have you already found that Czech guy, I forgot his name again... | Write on! Lars - Nederland en Vlaanderen - De Staten-Generaal | 14:55, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

Karkos, I think, also what was the name of that turkish guy? --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 15:15, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
It was Assyrius. | Write on! Lars - Nederland en Vlaanderen - De Staten-Generaal | 15:53, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnMeta

Please consider to discuss interwiki things on UnMeta is the central board, not Uncyclopedia. Thank you | CartoonistHenning 18:30, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit Stupidpedia

Hi NBK, I sort of lost connection with what's going on that forum, seems that remarks are becoming more and more cynical for no apparent reason. I thought we're doing the polite thing of asking, and it seems that the DE community is getting the wrong message. Or otherwise there is a language barrier. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:28, August 2, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Many new superheroes appear in Japan

This is a fun concept, but it is more an essay than a news article. If you wanted to make it a news article (and you probably don't), your lead is in your second paragraph--the opening paragraph is merely background information--and the last paragraph is speculation and (gasp!) a question to the reader, which might be styled as interviews with named (but made-up) man-on-the-street types.

We used to have a section called UnMagazine (though it never had anything more than a cover) and we ought to think about doing it for real, as a lot of people want to write current-events essays like this. Spıke ¬ 15:47 23-Apr-11

edit Recent UnNews template

Altering the templates, especially for your benefit of your own article, is greatly frowned upon here in the English Uncyclopedia's UnNews. ~ Humbuck Talk 13:32, 1 July 2011 (UTC)

The link to your question about the discussion on Uncyclopedia UnNews is here: Forum:The_UnNews_discussion. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 23:02, July 3, 2011 (UTC)

edit Earth's children

Glad you liked it, if you want, you can vote for or against it on VFH. Don't tell me the ending though! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 15:30, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks! I really liked 3 of the 4 I read so far, the third one however, while being good, felt excruciatingly stretched. The damn love triangle with Ranec and the misunderstandings about it last for like 200 pages, so much that you want to scream at the book: "She still loves you, you dumbass! Talk to her, retard!" But my favorites are the 2 first ones, really they are awesome! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 23:25, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
Oh, I am positive I'll read them all in my lifetime (I have the 6 of them in my 'library'). You are always welcome here! We'd like to have your input on VFH more often, it would be a great gentleman's move! Please have fun with these articles, we need votes. Have a great day. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 05:51, April 21, 2012 (UTC)

edit Guten tag

Pleased to meet you, Kieler, my name is Matthlock - don't worry about me, I don't bite. I'd like to ask you a question, sir, are you German? If so, then I am humbled to talk to somebody from one of my five ancenstral homes!

Answer me on my talk page, because I'm sort of lazy. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 19:46, April 22, 2012 (UTC)

edit hey naturalbornkiller

I just wrote your user name in lower case letters and I changed kieler to killer, because that's ironic. Hah hah! Joke. Have you had a chance to see this. It's something that is so cool, you have to actually go there and check it out. Once you are there, you will be amazed. I mean shocked! You should click on that link right now. Seriosuly. I mean it naturalbornkieler! I mean NaturalBornKieler! Yeahhh! --ShabiDOO 17:54, April 25, 2012 (UTC)

edit Long time no see!

Also, meinten Sie wirklich, dass die Deutsche Unsinnklopädie auch Wikia verlassen wird? Vielleicht könnten Sie dann zusammenarbeiten mit die Stupidedia. Keep me informed! | Write on! Lars - Nederland en Vlaanderen - De Staten-Generaal | 15:02, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

In Ordnung. Wenn die Deutsche Uncyc umzieht, sagen Sie dann bitte Bescheid, so dass wir es nicht selbe entdecken müssen, wie jetzt hier. :) | Write on! Lars - Nederland en Vlaanderen - De Staten-Generaal | 16:10, January 3, 2013 (UTC)
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