From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
"I'm into drinking, smoking weed and all types of ill shit."- Former President Bill Clinton, from his inaugural address, February 1993.
"Git'r'dun! Smoke 'em out and circumsize 'em. And so on and so forth."- Former President George W. Bush, from his inaugural address, February 2001.
"I couldn't believe it either!"- President Barrack Obama, from his inaugural address, February 2009.
I don't know why, but I just love Presidential speeches; Kennedy said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you could do to Marilyn Monroe if only you were President, too. And if my wife isn't around. Plus, don't tell Sinatra I was snorting blow off the Oval Office toilet tank. He'll get mad.' Noone can say it quite as eloquently as the leader of the free world. --Nastyn8 04:30, March 5, 2010 (UTC)nastyn8
edit So what do the First Ladies say about their husbands?
"Fuck him, that fucking fat-cunt fucker. I hope he has a heart attack and dies. Yes, I'll wait. DAMMIT! Where's that Kervorkian fuck when you need him?"- Hillary Clinton.
"I knew I was taking a gamble when I married the retarded Bush kid. But, on the bright side, I look exactly like my mother-in-law. Wait a minute..."- Laura Bush.
"I told Barry when we got married that I wanted a big white house on its own lot in a respectable neighborhood. Well, at least I got the big white house on its own lot. Who would've thought that a black man could do it?"- Michelle Obama. (In her defense, she thought he was Puerto Rican back when they were dating.)
That is why I love the First Ladies. They are realistic, honest, and true to someone else's public opinion polls. And for that, I salute you. With my cock. Especially you, Michelle. Goddammitall she is the hottest First Lady since Bea Arthur, who in case you didn't know was Ronnie Reagan's first wife, way back before the term 'cougar' was in usage, but I'll be damned if she ain't! --Nastyn8 06:00, March 5, 2010 (UTC)nastyn8
edit Since you haven't been welcomed yet
Bigotography is a word that I made up today, 4 March 2010, expressly for the purposes of use on this website, UNCYCLOPEDIA.WIKIA.COM and in no way intend to use it as marketing, profit or Chuck Norris I just want people to know that it is MY word, use it as you like but do not try to claim ownership, otherwise John Travolta will kill you.
Hey ya'll, let's get serious for a minnit. Cyberterrorism is the #1 cause of teen pregnancy in the US today, and I am glad to support it. Having been labeled as an Internet Terrorist for the last 15 years, I have to wonder- "Who is getting all these underage girls pregnant? Can I join in? How come my chonies never get as white as the rest of my laundry?" These are the thoughts that have kept me awake late at night, and stop me from climbing the corporate ladder. Plus, I cut the ladder up for firewood. What a novel idea. Anyways, strangling hamsters is a bitchin' type of way to let out all of your fear and aggression, just give it shot and THEN come tell me that I'm wrong. Cheers, bitches. --Nastyn8 15:18, March 6, 2010 (UTC)nastyn8
edit Hey Jude
You do no that most people DON'T talk to themselves on their own talk pages right? THat's where OTHER people leave messages. Like this... `»» Back ² Tha Hood»» 15:35,6March,2010 Yes I "know" most people don't talk to themselves, assface, you sound just like my effin' therapist. Have fun comitting suicide!!! P.S. 'Hey Jude' is the rudest, most Anti-Communist shit that an Amercian citizen could ever drink with 2 tonight, then 2 tommorrow, call me if you get a cunt-ache. --126.96.36.199 21:50, March 6, 2010 (UTC)nastyn8
Duh.--188.8.131.52 22:23, March 6, 2010 (UTC)nastyn8
- Not the good kind of weird though, like the you're gonna murder me in my sleep even though you don't know where Iive...weird... »» Back ² Tha Hood»» 23:52,6March,2010
Using my mother as your domain name is in bad taste because she's the cheapest whore in town. I WOULD NEVER murder you in your sleep because I lost the use of my legs, and lack the ability to hunt you down and castrate you. I do dig the font, I think it's cool and believe it or not, you are a pretty funny guy. Keep up the good work, Have fun committing Suicide!!!
edit On In-Side Jokes
Please don't make large scale changes to in-side jokes like this unless you know exactly what the in-joke is about. Despite appearing to be random, those articles almost always have a method to their madness. --Mn-z 17:06, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
edit Is this weird? Or is it something else?
I would like to be ass-raped by the Jonas brothers, gang-bang style. I'm not even gay but I still think it would be awesome, my shrink says I'm fuckin crazy but that bitch don't know nuthin. Sell me some skittles and tell me I'm a dirty girl. --184.108.40.206 21:57, March 6, 2010 (UTC)nastyn8
edit Fuck him, that fucking f-faced ass-effer Eff U Too, effed up effer.
Wow, i knew people hated me but this one just going too far. Anyways, Have fun committing suicide!!!
- Don't say that about yourself. I like you. :) I know, why don't we meet in person? That dark city alley 20 miles from your house looks like a good place, right? We'll have a great time! —Paizuri MUN ♦ Talkpage ♦ My Contributions ♦ 03:11, 7 March 2010 (UTC)
That dark alley is my house, dummy. My gay uncle lives out there too. Trust Find him on the internet, MeagansLaw.com. I enjoy the sound of your pain, especially when my Snickers bar is coagulated in public for an extended period of time. (Laughing maniacally)
- Bring your gay uncle so we can have a threesome, bitch. We'll fuck the night away. —Paizuri MUN ♦ Talkpage ♦ My Contributions ♦ 03:32, 7 March 2010 (UTC)
Was it really necessary to call me names? Try jerking off in front of the mirror while you talk shit to yourself- Trust me, its fucking awesome!k
- Don't you mean jerking off in front of the mirror while you shit yourself? That's even better, and is a good example of multi-tasking. Aleister in Chains later that day