User talk:Mr. Epic Fail

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edit Number of Posts Here (other than Mr. Epic Fail)

Currently, there are two who unfortunately sold their sanity by daring to enter. Will you to fall into the hands of this??? Hopefully now, so be gone, unless you wish to ADD the number! You've been warned!

edit Welcome Fellow Uncyclopedian

Hello, if you came here to look at something pleasant or funny, I suggest you get yourself out of here. Oh, by the way, on your way out, feel free to pick up a bookmark or something. You know, for your kids. They make good toys I guarantee! But, if you have an appointment for FAILURE, feel free, your last hour is here for sanity and epic...uh...winning-ness. Yes! Now, pardon my rather dull entrance, but if you do not find these message funny, then you have successfully passed the test. If you even giggled and smirked at this intro, you have no sense of humor and you should probably huff a kitten to calm your jacked-up brain. Any administrators (blessed be you holy divines!) may post in the Admin. Section. Any other people, your topics will be divided and post something regarding that topic. IF you fail to follow these rules, you're as sick as a pedophile who takes interest in little kids (by the way, if you are one, feel free to purchase our new promotional item, the Kiddy Snatcher for a 90-month free risk take!). Good day.

edit Admin. Section

edit Welcome!

Witness the magic of Uncyclopedia!

Hello Mr. Epic Fail, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for registering an account. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... Yes. You seem to have a sense of humor, but to be sure that it corresponds to the kind of humor that is accepted on this site, I suggest checking out the following links:

  • Beginner's Guide - A massive guide about how to be the best you can be at Uncyclopedia. I've honestly never read the whole thing in one sitting myself, but it is very useful if you're looking for help on a specific issue.
  • How to be funny and not just stupid - Our flagship link. This will tell you how to not get booed off the metaphorical stage that is Uncyclopedia. I STRONGLY suggest reading the entire thing through, perhaps more than once.
  • Our Vanity Policies - This page details why we don't care about your friends, your school, your gay fourth period math teacher, or the homework he has you do, and in-jokes. DO NOT violate these rules.
  • Uncyclopedia:Best of - For a bit of inspiration. These are our featured articles. This is the kind of stuff we like to read around here.

Now that that's out of the way, just continue reading and you'll notice some more links. These ones are about help in general:

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but I do recommend it, it can be quite enjoyable, and it's a good chance to let others take notice of your writing. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Mr. Epic Fail/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider browsing our rewrite and idea categories. There's also a page with requested articles, if you'd rather start from scratch. We have lots of articles and red links just sitting around waiting to be edited, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talkpage, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talkpage. Additionally, the Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian, and remember: Have fun with it. We're all here to have a good time and a good laugh. Please sign your name on talkpages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button_sig.png) above the edit box. Again, welcome!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 04:55, 24 May 2010

edit Uncyclopedia Talk

Got anything for me to edit on Uncyclopedia or something. Post right here. Remember, if you got a stupid question, post it in the section: Idiot's Corner Section.

(Post an Uncyclopedian message.)

edit Advice

I don't really need advice because my failness will ignore it probably. But if you do have one, feel free to post.

(Post an advice.)

edit Q&A

Got a question? Post here. Stupid questions may go to the Idiot's Corner Section.

(Post a question.)

edit Idiot's Corner Section

Reserved for the retarded, idiots, cretins, evil people, or just people who ask stupid questions. If your question falls here, you are probably lose to a drunk driver in an backwards ABC contest.

(Post only--oh who am I kidding, you can't read!!!)

edit Anonymous Section

Anything anonymous will be posted here. If you're an anti-Scientologist, this section isn't reserved for you. Try the section: Anonymous Members.

(Post only the things anonymous and short.)

PUC? LSC? LLU? AUC? MultiplePOV 02:09, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

No, I don't go to any of these schools. Mr. Epic Fail 09:03, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

edit Anonymous Members Section

Anything regarding the society or religion or parody religion or life or personal stuff or...ect. are here. Yes, everyone, including Anonymous protesters, proud Scientologists, old Republicans, smart Amish people, two-head dragons, and fat, downright "I-Have-No-Life" video gamer addicts can join together in a forever struggle of create debates and make D-BAITS (you need a hunter license to hunt here.).

(Post only the things regarding off-topic.)

edit Religious Zealots Section

Anyone who mentions about the Flying Spaghetti Monster or something like that, falls here. Go ahead. Open your gospels and read oh blessed ones. Give me a sermon brother! Amen!

("And I said to the prophets, post something on this section that you find is holy or concerning the Holocaust or Crusades or those ancient paintings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster."--2 Uncyclopedinis 12:46 (New King Oscar Wilde Edition)

edit The Darwin and Dawkin Show Section

Atheists and agnostics welcome. Please watch out for atheist huffers. Let's use our knowledge together to bring peace...or at least plenty of gambling!

(Anything with no faith should be put here. Remember, Mr. Epic Fail will ignore this.)

edit American Pride Zone Section

USA!!! USA!!!

(Americans and allies welcome. Nazis and Communists are free to come. Freemasons may come to because they control America...[OH NOES!])

edit Osama bin Laden and Evil Bert's Hideout Section

Down with the Great Satan!

(For all of you with unAmerican talk, post a message here. Third-world countries and extremists are permitted to go long as you don't set something on fire or go KA-BOOM!)

edit Other

Must I really say?

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