User talk:Morning Joe

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Morning Joe, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Morning Joe/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 13:57 16-Sep-13

edit The New Jersey Hoax

Hello and welcome! Unfortunately, your first edit is a casualty. I don't claim that this article is funny enough, but I do claim that it is clearly not funny enough to call New Jerseyites a-holes (without explanation or elaboration, and expect the mere epithet to be funny) or to tell yet another Christie Fat Joke.

When editing, be sure to read the whole article and be sure that your edit fits with the original author's intent. (If you can't do that, a better alternative would be to create a new article.) A new History section, not at the start but at the end, full of cheap shots, mars what the original guy was trying to do. Incidentally, the old ending of the page was a zinger--saying good-bye to the reader by taking him in an entirely different and funny direction; and this is another reason there shouldn't be additional stuff afterward.

A minor gripe is that, like Wikipedia, we don't use excess capitals in section heads and page names. Spıke Ѧ 13:57 16-Sep-13

I'm done with Uncyclopedia, everything funny here has been deleted by Uncyclopedia humor nazis. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Morning Joe (talk • contribs)
? For example?? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:41, September 16, 2013 (UTC)

Romartus, by "everything funny here," Joe means to say, "my single edit." Joe, as we say in the Welcome message, "don't delete anyone's messages....we depend on an accurate record of what was written." Three times you have tried to erase my unflattering opinion of that edit. It is amazing how many times people say they are done with Uncyclopedia when they are more fixated than ever before. If you again try to make it look as though advice had not been offered to you, you really will be done with the website (or at least making edits to it) for a long period. Spıke Ѧ 16:57 18-Sep-13

edit Please stop lying about what I wrote

I never wrote anything in response to spike. My comments were unrelated to anything spike wrote. Please stop editing my comments into unrelated spike diatribes. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Morning Joe (talk • contribs)

Agreed, you never wrote anything in response to me. But no one is editing your comments, either, though I am restoring them to the record, which you have now tried to erase four times now. It is now time for you to really be done with Uncyclopedia for a while. Spıke Ѧ 17:06 19-Sep-13
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