User talk:Mordillo

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Darth smoker

Welcome to my talk page. Now shut the fuck up and go write an article (or leave a new message at the bottom )

Usurping thy chastity

Thou art a virgin no more. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 11:10 • Wednesday, 6-01-2010

You cheated! ~Jewriken.GIF 12:24, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
He'll have to take your other virginity. Seeing as how you are male and I beat him to it, I have no idea how he'g going to do that. Best thing is to lie down and get it over with, I suppose. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
Hmm.. It's difficult but it's not impossible. Give me a pocket-knife and an empty bucket and I'll get it done in no time. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 13:03 • Wednesday, 6-01-2010
Talk like that and people'll think you're Olipro's sockpuppet! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:05, January 6, 2010 (UTC)


Thanks for your time. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:11, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

My pleasure. You can leave a tip in the jar marked "tips". ~Jewriken.GIF 12:06, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
What, and destroy two thousand years of goy stereotyping? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:11, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, you're right. You can leave your loan in the jar marked "unreasonable levels of interest". ~Jewriken.GIF 12:15, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
Heheheh:-D Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:17, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

This isn't an example of Irony

19:05, January 5, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked JeChr (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus is dead. He's not coming back.)

But I lolled anyways. Jew. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN23:22, 6 Jan

Did you see what he was doing? He was replacing peoples' pages with summaries of why you should convert to Christianity. —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 23:26, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
I don't care, I was just teasing my pet Jew. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN23:30, 6 Jan
*woof* ~Jewriken.GIF 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
Good boy. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN23:53, 6 Jan

Greetings in 2010, in the Goyim calendar at least..

I just wanted to throw a tantrum about not being in any of the worst reflections in either 2009, 2010. This saddens me. Plus have you seen my latest article?;)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:26, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

That's probably because you were ABSENT most of the year Mister! And no, not yet. I'll take a look. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:29, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Chuck Norris

It's an article about Chuck Norris and I added something about his biggest fight. What's wrong with it? It's neither consistent non inconsistent with the rest of the article.--AnotherD++ 17:43, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Fortunately, this question is neither consistent non inconsistent with the rest of Mordillo's talk page. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 17:52, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
And that's fortunate? AnotherD++ - notice that the current version of Chuck doesn't deal primarily with his fights, but takes a more subtle way to deal with him. The previous versions of the article were all about CHUCK KILLED THIS and CHUCK KILLED THAT and it got boring quickly, and your edit went out of the current undertone style of the article. It was bad by itself, it just didn't fit with the article. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:00, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Also, if you put one part about Chuck fighting with Fedor, you'll have people swarming all over the article telling how he fought with Mr. T., Hitler, Moses, Jesus and every other south part character you can imagine. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:02, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, you voted for my article on VFH and helped make it a feature.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

And I'm too lazy to make a proper template for it. Thanks! sausage lol 18:47, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Ah yes, another penis, that's exactly what I needed. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:55, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Publicity Policy?

Just checking on if you have a publicity policy, or people working on publicity. For example, the article on the Indy Colts, does uncy as an entity have someone who contacts the Indianapolis sports writers and tells them of its existence? This would publicize the site, but I don't know if uncy wants publicity. I'm not volunteering (work. lazy.) but could give ideas and locate articles on the site which reporters may have an interest in mentioning. Enjoy, Aleister in Chains Year 5, Day 2 MMX

We don't really have a policy. Every now an then we do get that (see: category:mediawatch and the links on the specific articles) but we don't go actively telling people. Personally I don't see any problem with it. Also, most of them get indexed in a reasonable high position in Google. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
And I can see a downside too. Same example, the Colts management or friends might try to send a few people in to vandalize the article and even the site, And the Star of David page, let's let the Israeli papers know all about it. And with publicity would come an influx of new ips just itching to vandalize their favorite page (happens now but multiplied 10 or a 100 fold(. Just a thought, esp. concerning topical subjects. Aleister in Chains Light year traveled, MMX
But then we're here to publish content are we not? We're not here to write to each other but rather to the widest possible audience. We'll always have vandals, with or without publicity, and we can alway protect articles from editing if we need. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:41, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Best point of all, you are correct sir. I don't want to head one up, but if someone gets a media committee organized I'll be the first, or tenth, to sign up. Aleister in Chains Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, MMMX
On a different note, why don't you prepare a signature? I will make it easier for you to sign pages. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:52, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Zana actually made one for me, but I've had trouble loading up the code correctly. Will get back to it within the weekmonth. I'm a novice at code, and have learned alot in my time here by playing on the pages and looking at edit code. My sig shiuld emerge shortly. Aleister in Chains In the days of lore, MMX
Hallelujah brother. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:38, January 8, 2010 (UTC)


Quick question - other than archiving VFD, Ban Patrol, QVFD and making new archive pages when necessary, is there anything else that I can do as a poopsmith? For all it's said to be a thankless task it's not really that much of a task and only takes a few minutes of my time (unless MadMax is around and beats me to it, as was the case today). Is there anything else I can add to the list of poopsmith jobs? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 08:50, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

You can always take over the running of the HowTo main page. Also, I think Why} might need some updating as well. But let me look over the list of crap and throw some more feces down your way :). I have to say I admire how you don't give up on that thankless job. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:52, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Thankless it may be, but it's not that much of a job really. I'll have a look at HowTo and Why - I've been thinking of creating some sort of Unformercials portal too, as it's a neglected area that could yield much humour with a bit of effort and attention. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 09:25, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
That sounds like a great idea actually! ~Jewriken.GIF 09:36, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Seconded. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 09:38 • Friday, 8-01-2010
I had a look at HowTo and have updated the feature - I'll keep an eye on it and change it from time to time if nobody else does so. Also discovered that two of mine have been featured on there, which I had no idea about! What's the deal on Why - the features are voted, but obviously receive far fewer votes than VFH. How many "fors" does an article need to be considered featurable? Or do I just assume totalitarian control and feature anything once it's got more "fors" than "againsts" for the sake of maintaining some sort of activity on the page? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:45, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
I think with the Why? voting page, that has virtually zero traffic, you can just make the decision as with the HowTo. We can always revert if people will suddenly start voting, though I doubt it. ~Jewriken.GIF 23:42, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

quick question

What's the policy on removing stuff from voting pages that I don't like as it may raise drama? If, for example, I think a nom for UotM is not a valid nom. Is there a policy on that? Pup

I'd say have a chat with an admin about that rather than removing content yourself. Is there anything specific? ~Jewriken.GIF 12:53, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
I have a similar question, too. If, say, I posted something on somebody's talkpage, then I removed it for whatever reason. Does he have the right to revert me, being the "owner" of the page? Or do I have the absolute right to undo my contributions no matter whose page it is? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 13:13 • Friday, 8-01-2010
There's no strict rules about that. I'd say that if you regret something you say and you want to remove it from talk pages and you do it in good faith, it's OK. I've done it myself several times. Just as long as you don't get into a revert war with the talk page owner. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:29, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
OK, thanks, habibi ;) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 13:35 • Friday, 8-01-2010
Salam idaq ~Jewriken.GIF 13:37, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
What? Why didn't anyone tell me that before. Meganew, here I Come! --Matfen 18:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Never mind, the comedy was too good to delete. --Matfen 18:49, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

You Bastard

Mrs UU has asked me, specifically, to call you a bastard. On your recommendation, I requested Oblivion for my birthday last year - and she bought it. I am now armpits deep in Cyrodiil, obsessively hacking, slashing, burning and generally adventuring my way through it. Apart from wishing they hadn't spunked their entire voice budget on Professor X and Boromir, leaving the other voices to be recorded by about three other shabby amateurs, I'm enjoying myself immensely. The missus, on the other hand, is heartily sick of it! One question: did you join the dark brotherhood? --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:50, Jan 8

Hahaha. Tell Mrs. UU - my pleasure. I can give her Mordillia's phone and they can trade experiences :). Heads up - it took me 60 hours to finish, and the guy at the game shop told me that I took the easy way, because apparently it's much longer! It is a bit freakish how you have 5 charachters talking amongst themselves and they all use the same voice! I gave them nicknames, like - the old fart, the sexy girl and the prune. And of course I joined the Dark Brotherhood! That's loads and loads of fun. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:54, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, I reckon it'll take me a lot longer - I did say I was doing it obsessively, I've been playing about 40 hours already, and have barely bothered with the main quest yet. Thing is, the missus can't exactly complain, she's working her way through her complete collection of Friends, and when that's done she's got sets of Charmed and Sex and the City to work through. How is spending hours doing that any better than spending hours slaying orcs? --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:00, Jan 8
Oi, you two are playing a fantasy RPG now? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 14:13 • Friday, 8-01-2010
That's not RPG. It's life man! Real life! also UU, three more weeks to Mass Effect 2 ~Jewriken.GIF 14:35, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Eh, for me, the reason I'm still living is that it's seven more weeks to Battlefield Bad Company 2 SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 14:45 • Friday, 8-01-2010
Pccchhhhh 14:53, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
After Oblivion and Fallout, I think I officially have a man-crush on everyone at Bethesda. Also, I got Lady Woody a Kindle. So she just sits there and reads/acts as my pillow while I play. Really a fine purchase on my part, and I suggest the two of you to do the same. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 15:00, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
I think we should establish the Uncyclopedia Association for Female Victims of Uncyclopedia Editors. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:03, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
I know - got it preordered. That's 3 weeks to try and finish everything in Oblivion. And Then 3 more weeks to try and complete ME2 before the baby arrives and my attention is supposed to be elsewhere... --UU - natter UU Manhole 15:30, Jan 8
better get the missus two kindles and some flowers then ~Jewriken.GIF 15:38, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
That's an amazing game. It gets a little broken at high levels, though, like when you finally put together a 100% Chameleon suit and can pretty much walk past and/or kill anything without any chance that it will retaliate. Then again, Fallout 3 gets similarly broken at the highest levels. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 19:56, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Actually, in general, Oblivion and Fallout 3 get me thinking a lot about the ideal "difficulty curve" for a video game. There seem to be four basic approaches:
1. You have unchanging abilities, and the game gets harder and harder and harder. (ex: Super Mario Bros. 3)
2. You get a little stronger as the game proceeds, but the game itself gets *much* harder. (ex: Baldur's Gate)
3. Everything pretty much scales to you, so you get stronger at the same rate as the game, and the difficulty remains constant. (ex: Chrono Trigger).
4. You acquire virtually godlike powers by the end of the game and nothing can do anything to stop you. (ex: Oblivion, Fallout 3, Dynasty Warriors series)
I guess the real question is: which approach is most fun? Or do all four of them work equally well? {{User:Hyperbole/si

g}} 19:59, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Myself, I'd prefer the second approach, but within reason; I don't want to spend like 100 hours playing the game then find myself completely unable to advance through it because things got *much* difficult. I also don't want to play it monotonic, with the same difficulty or challenge from start to end, and I also also tend to lose my interest in the game after I've become a demigod with guns. Oh, and I won't even play a game where my character has unchanging abilities :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 20:47 • Friday, 8-01-2010
Probably it just depends on how all are implemented. I don't think SMB3 would work all that well with ex. 4. And Tetris would suck ass with ex. 3. And Oblivion/Fallout would be hilariously bad with ex. 1. hahaha. That would be awesome though... Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 21:14, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Since we're all taking the opportunity to call Mordillo a bastard, I thought I'd join in. Shabbat shalom, you bastard. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 22:37, January 8, 2010 (UTC)


OK, check out Doc's "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques" if you haven't seen it yet. Has anything like this been on uncy before? Aleister in Chains 9 Jan MMX

Darn it, now I've gone and started some drama. Ban plz. Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:34, Jan 9 2010
Would you like the 3 month special? I currently have the 20% off standard rates weekend. ~Jewriken.GIF 23:44, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
A chance for the rare (I assume) three-day-in-a-row-VFH hat trick? Aleister in Chains December 7, 1941

A faggot vanalized your talk page

A stupid cocksucking mother fucking IP user keeps vandalizing you page, but I reverted it both times. If you like, I could find and kill that guy--Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 07:28, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Clemens? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 09:31 • Saturday, 9-01-2010
Thanks, I think Max took care of him. And I doubt it was Clemens, that wasn't his style. I'm pretty sure it's a guy I deleted his vanity page a couple of days ago. ~Jewriken.GIF 23:45, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Username change

Hey, master Mordillo. When you are not busy killing those cat-faced idiots in Oblivion, would you mind telling me how I would go about changing my username. Thanks. --Matfen 15:26, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Talk to Sannse, like I did :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 16:01 • Saturday, 9-01-2010
My thnks, err... Fredd. Your name change is probably for the better, as before it I thought you were a girl, no offence intended. --Matfen 16:20, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
So did I, until that fateful and embarrassing night when we drank too much vodka and got a bit friendly. Still, any hole's a goal as they say. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:23, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
Are you saying that Moosh is not manly enough?! ~Jewriken.GIF 23:45, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
Holy Ra in the heavens! How dare ye blaspheme against my protrusion of sacred proportions? Nobody hath ever survived its pounding, and nobody ever wilst! Now, kneel before it in utmost obeisance, lest thou be forgiven. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 03:40 • Sunday, 10-01-2010
As long as it stays zipped, I kneel. I'm sure that in other areas you make up for your lack of manliness on Uncyclopedic talk pages. --Matfen 17:41, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
Lack of manliness.. FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png • 18:06 • Sunday, 10-01-2010
I stand corrected, sir. Feel free to unzip. --Matfen 18:20, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

About my template

For I can do, I'm a little out of time. Rhubella Marie, the rat sockpreppie preppiedits 01:05, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

The only thing you need to do is - {{subst:user:Rhubella Marie/welcome}}. That's it. ~Jewriken.GIF 01:07, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks for the tip Rhubella Marie, the rat sockpreppie preppiedits 01:09, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
No problem. ~Jewriken.GIF 01:10, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Spam filter?

It won't let me edit UnNews:US surge in Afghanistan may be followed by more strategy alterations, warm fuzzy feeling because of an "f" somewhere? What? --Nikau 04:47, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, it fixed itself. --Nikau 04:50, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
Sorry, that was actually my mistake. Everything should be OK now. If you have any problems at ALL, please tell me on my talk page. Sorry for the inconvenience. ~Joey~ {Talk to meh} 05:08, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Oooooh look! I'm on your talk page!


And for something besides screaming at other people! Huzzah! Thanks for voting Symbol for vote For. HowTo:Make a B-Movie Monster! --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  12:06, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Even your thank you templates are becoming ridicules :). Congrats! ~Jewriken.GIF 12:16, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Jewish cuisine

That kishke is by far the most disturbing shock image I have ever seen on the internet. We're going to need the NSFW tag on the article now! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:46, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

I was looking for the worse I could find....even though you know that thing is a delicacy for us non vegans ~Jewriken.GIF 12:48, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
I drew the line a good way up the page before kishke even when I did eat meat! By the way, I have no idea of the Hebrew or Yiddish for shmaltz herring - can you add that for me (I know שמאַלץ, but not herring)? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:16, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
It's probably gonna be - דג מלוח which essentially mean - salty fish. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:10, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
Not עקלדיק פֿיש? :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:21, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
Say what now? ~Jewriken.GIF 14:24, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
"Disgusting fish." Or it ought to be, anyway. I had to look up both. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:26, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
Was that in Yiddish? In Hebrew it would be - דג מגעיל ~Jewriken.GIF 14:30, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
.יע ייִדיש Or the bastardised pseudo-Yiddish I'm still endeavouring to teach myself, at any rate. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:39, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

UnScripts: So What Do the Israelis and the Palestinians Really Want

Oy vey, Melekh Mordillo, my script is woefully complete! I have a form of ADD (I've got a note in Hebrew and shit, so even God can read it)so writing a longer script would seriously affect my behaviour -i.e. masturbating in front of a picture of Arafat instead of Sharon (or perhaps it was the other way to begin with -did I mention that Arab Jews like me have a tendency to also acquire a split personality disorder from God? At the very best, we just can't stop throwing rocks at ourselves or changing the occupied sign on toilets to disputed). In any case, everything that's currently on the page is everything I've thought up for the script. If you have any ideas for humorous themes I could extend it on, or if you'd prefer to chip in directly and dominate -I meant collaborate- to finish the script, I'll pave your way with palm fronds and lend you my ass, after which I would proceed to complete the script in a manner which makes it indisputable that you are your REAL FATHER, and that you have decided to build this great script on my humble camel. The UnTunes idea is also for the best -after all, disagreeing with an Admin is dangerous to one's health. I think a video would be necessary because of all the physical humour,and because otherwise all we'd hear is an accent-debate on whether an unspoofed spice girls song is kosher and halal, and frankly because there is only so much unspoofed Spice Girls we can stand. Perhaps an animation would do, in which case I'm happy to try something on Xara and voice the Palestinian PM. If anybody actually likes the script well enough on here to volunteer to dominate I meant collaborate on this, I am all adulation. In the meantime, please try to resist the urge to delete the script pronto -I am still honoured of surviving your last block by a place on your userpage (I think my mohel is a bit too interested in it-he was always a kind and gentle man, like Jonathan). SufiyaFatimaLevi 15:11, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

I've added a new scene now. Any good? SufiyaFatimaLevi 19:37, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

It is, but I don't see any connection between the first scene and the second scene. Am I missing something? Also, with regards to the UnTunes thing - it was merely a suggestion. Don't feel obliged. ~Jewriken.GIF 23:38, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
There is a connection that works on nine different levels -or twelve if you take into account of this and that and ham. No, only joking -you missed nothing and there is no explicit connection. At the present I am laying out various "scenes" as they come to mind, trying (get your handkerchief out, it's very sentimental from here)to show that the conflict is not really a clash of civilisations or ideologies; instead, there are only deeply human longings that both perpetuate the conflict, and offer the only way out of it, (especially of a homoerotic kind -it's very hard to find a Middle Easterner today who is not at least bisexual). I will think of new scenes to add within the course of the week, and try to find some way of stringing everything together in a way that makes the title sensible. Then, with your master's permission, the UnScript could be raised out of limbo. In the meantime, all advice, suggestions, threats etc. appreciated. SufiyaFatimaLevi 12:58, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Actually -may I set up the scene with Khaled Mashaal and Gilad Shalit as a separate UnScript in its own right, and then simply delete the original idea of "So What Do the Israelis and the Palestinians Really Want" altogether? Or would you say the scene is not complete enough for this? SufiyaFatimaLevi 16:10, January 16, 2010 (UTC)


If the moses section offended you in any form, I'll gladly tone it down or remove it altogether. FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 09:43 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

Read this and then tell me if you think that I'm offended. ~Jewriken.GIF 10:01, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
I see.. I guess I'll have to uptone it, then. FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 10:15 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010
There's something so Jewish about that... if somebody can take jokes about our food, they won't be offended no matter what you say about our most important prophet and author of the Torah. We certainly have our priorities in the right place. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 10:42, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Well, similarly, if a Christian can take jokes about penes, they won't be offended no matter what you say about their Lord and Saviour. They certainly have their priorities, too. ;) No offence, Christians. FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 11:46 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010
Christians? What in Christ's name are those? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 15:42, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
What are penes? Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:38, Jan 13 2010

Template Tedium


Dear god! No more features! I'm dying here! --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  15:31, January 12, 2010 (UTC)


I'm back. --Docile hippopotamus 10:02, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations. I hope you'll be a bit more careful with the way you interact with admins this time. ~Jewriken.GIF 10:12, January 13, 2010 (UTC)


A lot of vandalism around Uncyc :/ Hubblemeow 22:07, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Just a normal day, walking the vandals and blocking the dogs. Or was it the other way around? --~Jewriken.GIF 22:08, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
Haha I don't know, dogs can be vandals, peeing and pooping in all those public places. :D Hubblemeow 22:11, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

One more idea, or two

Hi. Has anyone talked about a Uncyl. book, on the same order as one of The Onion's books? If not, could be a next step type of project using 250 or so pages from the best of the best. Only problem would be the copyrights on photos and graphics, does satire law cover those for "profit" projects? Zana and I have been playhing with a page "Welcome Party for Noobs", ideas, comments, or jump-right-ins? No sig yet MLK Birthday Eve MMX

He should make a topic in the Dump about making an Uncyc book, shouldn't he Mordillo? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN21:46, 14 Jan
Topic would be the obvious choice. However, other than the fact that I don't think we'll be covered with regards to pictures (as there isn't really any "satire law", just a very vague "fair use clause" which is...err...very vague) you have a bigger problem - us being a non profit site, we can't really publish anything as we don't own the material, nor are we an incorporated entity (not even taking into account the questions of who exactly will fund this, who will publish it etc). The main difference between us and The Onion is just that - we're a volunteray wiki site while the Onion is a registered company. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:29, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
Fairly large roadblocks. My thought was that a publisher would take up the project, not as a self publish. I didn't know about the non-corp status, or exactly how many rights people pass over to the site when they add an article (I thought it was 100%). Would you think it's worth giving over to a "formal" discussion on dump? Thanks again (ignore Optim's comments, he's never read Gay Jesus, so how can his comments be relevant if not shaped by a full study of the world's literature?). My sig? forgaboutid 15 Jan. MMX
Due to the wiki licensing system, everything is still copyright of the original authors, but licensed under a Creative Commons-Attribution-Non Commercial-Share Alike license. That license, specifically the non-commercial clause, would rule out any printed versions, unless the publisher is giving away the books for free. But on the plus side, we can (maybe) use that clause to legal threat Wikia if they decide to place ads on this wiki. --Mn-z 05:49, January 15, 2010 (UTC)


Thanks. Yeah, I already knew that. But my past experience is the articles I give to Pee are usually ignored; or, if reviewed, I get one person's opinion and style, which others don't agree with either. So I figured if those are the two options then I better consider it overlooked and risk a terrifying Self-Nom. Also, as an UOTY MadMax had liked it, and even worked on it, that was better, really, than risking a Pee. Why not take a look at why Max liked it. And if you think it's good enough then keep the Nom - or please nom it yourself if you like it. I bet if it passed inspection by MadMax that you'll like it too. just for fun. I had a lot of Pee reviews and learned plenty. But at this point I just want it as is. Though you're the boss, and thank God someone IS the boss. So far I have done 31 articles that stuck. So I'd like to be one of the gang, obviously. I'm also an Editor for Wikipedia with many articles since their inception (my band The Misunderstood were in Wikipedia from the get go, because they based the Music section on the book, "All Music Guide" by Richie Unterberg, and we have a chapter in that book). Anyway I'm at your mercy!!! I also just redid Soma© (a huffed article by another writer) and I think it's too perfect for a Pee Review. I think its my best job to date. I bet you like it too (Hope sooo..!) BTW: Thanks for saving-the-day on Bad Nigger Attitude, which I have since rewritten and turned it all on the Nazis. They deserve the blame. Thanks friend--Funnybony 15:10, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

"I better consider it overlooked" - no, it's a rule. That you follow. I'd like to see you get a feature, Funnybony, if only because I can see how much work you put in to this place. But there are reasons for certain rules, and if you self-nom without a review, it will get taken down again quickly, as happened just now. And Max is a legend, but he's more a maintenance legend than a writing legend - don't take his involvement in your article as your guarantee of quality! ;-) --UU - natter UU Manhole 16:07, Jan 15
What UU said. And as noted on the VFH page, if you don't get a pee review after a week, just feel free to nom it after that. That's all the waiting you need to do. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:48, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
Well, folks, I guess my path is clear. It's off to the shooting gallery - and hope for the best. I think the point of mentioning Max was he thought it was funny, and some how that seems more important than it being "good" - but he did like it and added his touch. And funny is believing!!! But no matter what, someone who doesn't like that type of humor simply won't like the page, regardless of good. All I want out of this is for associate brothers of Uncyclopedia to "get the jokes". Funny Ha Ha!!--Funnybony 17:16, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Administrator Mordillo!

It might be a good idea to semi protect Haiti for awhile. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:02, 15 Jan

That's `crat Mordillo mister. With a K. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:07, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Top 10 of 2009

Is ready, done and here. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:12, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

You sir, are a good man. What kind of aftershave you're using? ~Jewriken.GIF 00:52, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
Back bacon. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:59, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
That's Givenchi right? ~Jewriken.GIF 01:02, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
Maple Leaf. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:14, January 16, 2010 (UTC)


What you have been subliminally saying all along is true. My original UnScripts:So What Do the Israelis and the Palestinians Really Want? is a festering turd. Only the second "scene" with Shalit and Mashaal has (minimal) redeeming value, so I have transferred it to UnScripts:The Fate of Gilad Shalit to live out the rest of its life in Humbert-Humbertian obscurity and misleading little girls. Do you think it's complete enough in this form to go without the construction tag? At least give it a pension home, not permanent limbo...SufiyaFatimaLevi 19:02, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

I actually though that both were a good start, though unrelated. I just saw a mental image of Netanyahu and Abu Mazen wearing Spice Girls attire and dance in the streets of Ramallah. Why not do both? As for the Shalit one, it's good as well - only question is, where are you going with it? Perhaps let the poor guy go home when Mashaal realizes he can't push him away? Or maybe they both sell into the sun set only to be fired upon by the Israeli navy for breaking the closure around the Gaza strip? (Uninteresting pop quiz - Mashaal is not actually in Gaza, he's in Damascus). ~Jewriken.GIF 21:31, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
That second idea seems excellent. I will combine it with the pop quiz point for a bit of absurdity, and see what I can do. SufiyaFatimaLevi 14:19, January 17, 2010 (UTC)


I saw you reverted my edit, and I'm sorry for stupid and unfunny. D:

Why do I apologize for everything? God I suck. *No self-esteem whatsoever*

That's not funny either! Fuck!

HELPME 22:26, January 16, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

No need to apologize. I did wonder why you created a talk page for a user blaming him for being an unfunny IP. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:43, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

I was talking to the blanker IP, though I should have just reported to him to ban patrol. HELPME 00:33, January 17, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

Ah, there's not need to talk with blankers, they don't tend to respond and they typically get promptly banned. Also, leaving the message on the page of the user that his page got blanked, probably wouldn't reach the target anyway ;) ~Jewriken.GIF 11:14, January 17, 2010 (UTC)


Why, Mordollo why!!!!!!! Why did u do it!

Flutter, whatever do you mean? (at least I hope this is Flutter and not some other guy via the same IP address. Mordillo, help a brotha out!) --Not Mordillo 22:44, January 17, 2010 (UTC)


"Apples, pears and peaches, they're all are one; fruit. Carrots and cucumbers are one, also."

Did I imply that carrots and cucumbers are fruits? No, I said carrots and cucumbers are a different one [vegetable.]

Also, am I stupid enough to say that Iraqis and Iranians are North African berbers? Not yet. FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 22:48 • Sunday, 17-01-2010

Yes you are Did I say that out loud? When will they understand I have no inner monologue! ~Jewriken.GIF 23:21, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost January several-days-agoth

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:38, Jan 18


Hi. I think the December Foolitzer may finally be closed, with a nudge a nomineee has voted for themself. A longggggg election night. Al DeChain' Wednesday, MMX

Bloody hell, that was a December nomination? I was sure it was a January one. I think we might as well wait till the end of the month. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:45, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Your shekel counting holiness could possibly help me?

I want to have a bit of hebrew in my Bilderberg article, as most conspiracy theorists like to blaim 'you people' for a lot, I've put a bit of Hebrew in, but I want it to be all italics like the other song lyrics I've put in but it doesn't seem to be doing it. It's in the section down. Can you help or are you going to continue to masturbate and smoke Dutch pot:)?--Sycamore (Talk) 10:26, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

I think you have a bigger issue here as whatever you tried to write - it doesn't make any sense in Hebrew. Do you want to give me the original text and I'll fix it? ~Jewriken.GIF 10:41, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
Its meant to be the first bit from this, I've put the bit I was wanting to include here,
Give me back my broken night
my mirrored room, my secret life
it's lonely here,
there's no one left to torture
Give me absolute control
over every living soul
And lie beside me, baby,
that's an order!

Maybe its the online translater I used, it might screw up the syntax because its a song.--Sycamore (Talk) 10:54, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah poetry isn't easy to translate. I'll give the best version I can:

החזירו לי את לילי השבור

חדרי אפוף המראות, חיי הסודיים

בודד כאן

לא נותר את מי לענות

העניקו לי שליטה מוחלטת

על כל נפש חיה

ושכבי לידי, אהובתי

זוהי פקודה!

It's actually quite a beautiful poem. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:20, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Ta, yeah its one of his best, though he's done quite a few I like:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:29, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Something about a template

I have no skills in editing a PNG, so this is my best effort at the moment. I'd suggest that someone who has more potatochopping skills redoes the image. All in all I think this is the result we're after. {{2009Top10}} Pup

Editing a png, you say? Why, I can do that kind of thing. If you like, I'll hack one out this evening that's a little less jaggy? --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:28, Jan 21
Go for it. I also faked the font as I had no idea what the original was so I've just chopped what was already there, so whatever you can do to tweak it be my guest. Pup
For me it looks great, but then again Mr. Yorkshire here has a better sense of humor. ~Jewriken.GIF 10:55, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
I think the effect is exactly right, but a png just might look a little smoother. I'm therefore going to try and produce something that looks similar but less jagged, hopefully making it even greatererish. Hast tha summat agin that, tha bloody 'erbert? --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:05, Jan 21
OK, so the whole "same night" thing didn't happen. Mrs UU was not good when I got home, my attention was needed elsewhere. I'll get right on it today, straight after my compulsory morning gawp through failblog. --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:44, Jan 22
Is she all right now? ~Jewriken.GIF 09:57, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Oh she's fine now, or I wouldn't be here! Have another look at the template - I done addified a differenter image, and I think it's bettererificated. I also think I'm getting ill committing all these crimes against my beloved English language in one sentence. On a separate note: morning Mordillo! --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:40, Jan 22
Morning UU! I was supposed to be in a weekend in Rome this weekend, but due to Mordillia's growing bulk and some other issues we have decided to cancel at this point. So point me to where I can disperse divine justice! ~Jewriken.GIF 11:04, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Bummer. We were in Rome last year, while Mrs UU was still mobile enough to enjoy it. One month later, we'd not have been able to have anything like as good a trip - so I'd say you made the right decision. As for letting off steam: I can personally recommend banning Cajek, which is a delight few, if any, admins seems aware of! Now: looked at that template yet? (I wasn't slavishly faithful to the font Puppy mentions, just went with one that looked OK). --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:18, Jan 22
I have and I think it looks great. Thank you both! You are now forever embedded in the Uncyclopedia folk history. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:20, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Should we commission Puppy to make more of those thingies for '05, '06, '07, and '08? Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 06:38, Jan 22 2010
No point. All that needs to be done is change the year where ever it appears, and change the graphic. I've already confessed to my ineptitude relating to png, so someone who can do png graphics would be a better bet for this one. And I hope UUette is not having too hard a time. Pup
Actually, I'm pretty sure UUette is her unmarried name. Now she's Mrs. UU. Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 17:04, Jan 22 2010

"You couldn't make it up" amusing Jewish news story of the week

Here. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:52, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 21th January 2009

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 17:36, Jan 21

Hello sir

Apparently... Optimuschris does not have one of those rollback plungers. He's too much of a gentleman to ask himself, so I'm asking for him. In-fact I actually think he really does not want it. I recommend we ignore this request. I have an idea that if he were to be furnished with such a device it would allow the likes of yourself and myself to be even more lazy than we currently are. An ideal situation I'm sure you will agree. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 01:09, Jan 22

He's doomed now. DOOMED I SAY! ~Jewriken.GIF 09:57, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
That will teach him for all the power whoring. ;) Nice plunger by the way... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 10:01, Jan 22

Heaven is...

"Heaven is the delicious hot kiddush with cholent, kugel and a nice shot of whisky..." says Rabbi Yitzhak Schochet. I'm rather tempted to join his shul on the strength of those words alone! Gut shabbos :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:21, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

That actually makes me want to become religious! Now there is a proper Rabbi! :) And a gut shabes to you two my friend. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:26, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
I bet his Purim service is one of the best parties in London - hmm, speaking of which, not long till Purim, which is my favourite holiday just because of the hamantaschen. I'd make them at other times of year too, but they seem to taste better if you wait for them. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:44, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

DYK question

I've been doing some work on Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions, specifically in the images section, and I was wondering how often is it updated? I was thinking of adding the first top three images (and the Kilroy one pointing to several articles) but I'm not sure how to correctly add images to the DYK template. I made {{DYKimage}} recently which would add images but I still don't know if it would work correctly. For example, some images might be too big or the template might interfere with images that already appear with specific DYK facts causing two images to appear in the DYK box. Do you think this would be a good idea or is it better to use the images and DYK facts seperately (i.e. File:Wstyd6bo.jpg).

On a seperate note, text messages are visible when a mouse pointer is over one of the sidebar links. Do you know how this is done? I'd like to add "List articles you'd like to see written but are too lazy to work on yourself. Slacker." to appear over "Requested Articles". Is this part of MediaWiki or is it a built-in feature of the website itself? MadMax 20:59, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

It's updated more or less based on how lazy we are :) Personally I've never updated it, but maybe it's time I'll start doing that. With the images - give it a try, I think it should be OK, worse case - we can revert. The only thing, I'll protect that template, otherwise we'll get goatse on the main page sooner or later.

As for the other part, it's mediawiki, but it's embedded somewhere deep in the works, and I couldn't find how that exact code works, I've asked Jack to lay a hand. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:21, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

I'd like to see the DYK section updated, it's one of the things I check out every time I log on and I've noticed the repetition. (The DYK's that only reference an article without a cleaver or joke-like tie-in are beginning to annoy me.) There are quite a few funny things in the DYK submissions page that would be good in the rotation. (I wouldn't mind working on this as a full time project.)  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  24 Jan 2010 ~ 20:51 (UTC)
No objections here. It used to be L's gig but I haven't seen him around for ages. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:52, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

EMC left me a message on my talk page suggesting TAW should replace the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball. Though I assume he was half-joking, is there one being held this year? MadMax 21:03, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

There was one held last November, and we had pretty good articles. I don't think there should be any connection between both of them. We have place for both. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:22, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Do I get a Hall of Shame entry?

As you know, I have 3 FAs and an IC. They count 2.5 featured points. Do I get an entry? FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 19:47 • Sunday, 24-01-2010

Well, the rules say 3 features....O_O ~Jewriken.GIF 21:53, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
This is why collabs aren't so popular. Nobody likes to share. Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 22:51, Jan 24 2010
Well, I technically have 3 featured articles.. o_O FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 23:34 • Sunday, 24-01-2010
Technically, you have 2.5 featured articles. Sure you've got 4 templates, but other people worked on some of those too. They're snatching half of the credit away! So just write another feature, and it'll all be good. :) Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 00:10, Jan 25 2010
Well, there's this... FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 00:13 • Monday, 25-01-2010
See? Soon it'll all be good. Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 06:14, Jan 25 2010

I've have 3 features too (sort of). Can I put myself at the top of HoS for no good reason? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 06:49, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

Where's my Euroipod?

It's been six to eight weeks but I have not yet received my free Euroipod. It was mailed confirmed, right? Also, following a discussion on Sann's talkpage, do you think you'd want to tweak the spam filter a little? The spambots seem to be using only a few key Spanish phrases, so blocking those would probably make maintenance a bit easier. Or you could just block the Spanish language entirely. Spang would probably know how but I doubt he'd know which phrases to block. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 06:48, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

If by "free" you mean "painful" and by "Euroipod" you mean "knuckle sandwich" then, yes, it's getting there soon enough! I've responded on Sannse's page, I don't have permissions on that page for now. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:57, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 28th January 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 14:55, Jan 28

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