User talk:Mordillo

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Like i said whenever i want I come on. Infinite bans = u have no power = I win.
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{{User:Mordillo/talkpageheader}}
   
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it's so clean {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--11:22, 4/11/2009-->
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==Gentle Oral Raep==
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I wasn't really here. {{U|Luvvy|Metooka}} <small>11:33, November 4, 2009 (UTC)</small>
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:But you were! {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 12:03, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
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==the man in that picture==
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reminds me of somebody. <!-- yes, i found nothing better to say. i just wanted some of the awesomeness to rub off on me. --> {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 17:21, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
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:Of course he does, this is Wikus van der Merwe. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 19:46, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
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::The south african guy from district9? {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 05:36, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:::Fokken right. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 06:49, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::::Don't point your tentacles at [http://wikus.co.za Wikus]. You won't get a fokken sweetie--[[User:BlueSpiritGuy|BlueSpiritGuy]] 10:58, November 7, 2009 (UTC)
   
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
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== Sig change ==
my penis.
 
   
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
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I like to change my sig fairly regularly. And if you've only counted 15, then I think you may have missed a few. {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--07:07, 5/11/2009-->
my penis
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:Wrong talk page. It was me who miscounted your sigs. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 07:23, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::I was working with 23 tabs open. You can't expect me to be prefect! {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--07:34, 5/11/2009-->
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:::Do I need to ban anyone? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 09:10, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::::Me!MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!! ^_^ <font color=fuchsia>{{U|Luvvy|Mamzera}}</font> <small>09:23, November 5, 2009 (UTC)</small>
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:::::האיסור שלי הוא מאוחר. {{U|Luvvy|שָׁרמוּטָה}} <small>16:34, November 5, 2009 (UTC)</small>
   
suck my penis
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==אוזני המן==
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I'm fairly certain you haven't seen my response to what you said re. Hebrew and Yiddish names for stuff such as hamentaschen on my talkpage because none of the Yiddish stuff I added to the kosher article has been changed. So here it is:
   
suck ooon my dick
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"It says המן־טאַש in my cookery book, which is where I'm copying them from. It is a Yiddish cookery book, however, so I imagine you're right that this is the Yiddishe term. Do feel free to change anything I've added in Yiddish to Hebrew for the sake of consistency though, along with any errors on my behalf. I'm fairly certain I've mangled שלאָגן זיך בייגל, not least of all because "fight bagels" was the closest I could get to "fighting bagels." What little Yiddish I know comes from my bubbeh who, like most elderly ladies, preferred doing things like getting drunk and shouting at the cat to fighting so it's not a term I ever heard her use. Oh, and I have no idea of either the Yiddish or Hebrew term for feinkochen or mandelbrodt and if I try to transliterate into Yiddish I'll probably end up accidentally writing something really offensive. Also, I don't know the Hebrew for cholent, though in Yiddish it's טשאָלנט I believe. :-)"
   
Time for me to get back to having a life enjoy sitting at ur desk staring at a cpu screen watching to see who edits what.
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Thanks for your help if you do correct any of mine. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 15:45, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:Ah! I did miss that. Well, some names really exist only in Yiddish (such as Kenidalach, I mean, there is a Hebrew name but no one uses it) - and Hamentachen, we can use both the names really. With the Cholent, it's actually an interesting linguistic debate. Cholent is not a word in Hebrew, but most people would use that (טשולענט). However, there is another version of the dish from North Africa called Hamin or Chamin (חמין) which is a different dish to cholent, but a lot of people use that as a general name for this type of dishes. Having said that, I'm not even sure that Chamin is in Hebrew, it might be bastardized Hebrew or Ladino. Who said that being Jewish is easy?! {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 15:58, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::Interesting, that, because so far as I knew chamin was the Hebrew name for cholent (cholent coming from the Old French ''chalant,'' I believe. Suppose Rashi would have been the one to ask about that, he knows his Old French alright) - however, it's not something I've ever really thought about that much since absolutely everyone I know calls it cholent. I assume that chamin and cholent were originally entirely different things, one African and one French/Jewish - that ended up becoming confused and used to describe one (possibly entirely different) dish. Oh well - who cares, so long as it continues to taste as good as it does? The rabbis spend so much time arguing over whatever it is they argue over and nobody's even answered the basic questions concerning Jewish food yet! {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 16:10, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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לפחות יש לך מושג מה אתה מקליד. תארו לעצמכם מה הרובוטים מתרגם יעשה שפת אם שלו ... {{U|Luvvy|שָׁרמוּטָה}} <small><small>16:15, November 5, 2009 (UTC)</small></small>
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::My Hebrew is far too poor to understand that, other than something about robots. I find it's a good idea to be able to recognise the word ''robots'' in as many languages as possible - one never knows when the ability to do so might stand one in good stead, after all. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 16:20, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:::ha, that's not bad actually. It says: "at least you have a vague understanding of what you type. Imagine to yourselvs what the robots (plural) translate (single) do mother tongue his." So not bad! {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 16:25, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::::Ah, makes sense when you factor translation robots into it. Still - your Hebrew remains considerably better than mine, Luvvy. /me hangs head in shame {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 16:29, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:::::[http://translate.google.com עצום] ... {{U|Luvvy|Not Luvvy}} <small><small>16:31, November 5, 2009 (UTC)</small></small>
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::::::They're great for playing Chinese Whispers if you have no friends, though. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 16:38, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:::::::Say Rabbi, did you know that on top of the Hebrew Uncyclopedia there is a Yiddish one? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 16:34, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::::::::I didn't, but I'll have a look because according to some programme on the radio the other week Yiddish is at risk of dying out in the UK so I've been thinking I ought to develop the twenty or so words I know into at least a workable basic knowledge. That's partially just because Yiddish is such a great language for insulting people with, of course. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 16:38, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:::::::::It is. There is still a rather active Yiddish community in Israel, a few theaters as well (There's also a village that speaks Aramaic but that's just weird) {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 16:46, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::::::::::As it happens, the chap presenting the programme was producing a Yiddish theatre show (mostly for his elderly mother's benefit, it seemed) and was worried nobody would show up for it. In the end, it sold out (although there was no mention of how many tickets were sold to his mother and her friends) so it seems some people can still speak it here. You hear the occasional older person in Golders Green and a few in Stamford Hill (possibly in the Manchester and Gateshead Jewish neighbourhoods too, but I've never been there because I don't fancy the innoculations you have to have before venturing into Northern England), and there's the Chasidim of course, but it's very rare that you find anyone either under 60 or not Chasidic who can speak it. Be a pity if it went the same way as its international language imitators like Esperanto because it sounds so great. A village where they still speak Aramaic, eh? You'll be telling me there are [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welsh_settlement_in_Argentina people in Argentina that speak Welsh] next... ;-) {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 16:58, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:Your nice and newly-cleaned talkpage isn't going to be so spick and span for long at this rate.... {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 17:00, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::Incidentally, did you know Colin Powell can speak Yiddish? Pity he doesn't know how to say his own name in English, though. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 12:54, November 7, 2009 (UTC)
   
Just wanted to show you banning me is useless. if i feel like it I can do
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== Supreme thanks ==
this forever. Unfortunately I have a life :) I know I am sorry I have more
 
time on my hands than u but that's the way it is. Can't run a joke
 
website. Too much sex to be had....with strangers.
 
but i win u locked his page for editing. hahahahahahahaha I run
 
uncyclopedia bitch. recognize.
 
'''Here is my list of demands'''
 
   
Put this up bc it's better than the shitty version up now
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Just want to say that I am a huge Wikus fan. So you can imagine how surprised I was when I saw what you wrote on the main page. And I want to say thank you, it is one of the most awesome things I have ever encountered. Also, I'm a big fan of your work on uncyclopedia. So I guess, I just want to say thanks a million.
   
Get me some hookers cuz I need sex
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''Baie dankie vir die moeite met die ongelooflike paragraaf op die hoofblad. Respek en integriteit aan u, met die grootste bewondering.''
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--[[User:BlueSpiritGuy|BlueSpiritGuy]] 21:24, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:My pleasure indeed! It was your "away" message that gave me that idea. Also, I have to praise myself for understanding your Afrikaans with my basic Dutch. In short - aangenaam meneer! {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 21:28, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::It's all Greek to me. --[[User:ChiefjusticeDS|ChiefjusticeDS]] 21:38, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::Nice! I take it you've seen the movie. Yeah, I'm still away actually. Just popped by to check up on things. But well done with that Wikus message, it's almost an exact copy from the script, which is remarkable. As is your ability to understand the Afrikaans. As I've said, it is quite close to Dutch, but seeing as Dutch is not your first language it is a bit scary. I thought I could use it to gossip. Yes - Dit is voorwaar aangenaam! --[[User:BlueSpiritGuy|BlueSpiritGuy]] 21:44, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:::It's a great film isn't it? You can use it, I understand much more than I can write :). {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 22:20, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::::It is! And I'm not saying it because I'm a biased [[South Africa]]n. Anyway, thanks again! I'm resuming my away status again...--[[User:BlueSpiritGuy|BlueSpiritGuy]] 07:33, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
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:::::It's still beyond me why Mordilly has to learn Dutch and not... say Swedish... Mmmm... Swedish... '''*ahem*''' At least he can speak two languages that sound like you're clearing your throat after a fishbone hit it. Or is it three... Do you know Arabic on top of Hebrew and Dutch? ''/me makes a run for it before she gets spanked'' {{U|Luvvy|Hawt Swedish-speaking blonde}} <small>07:56, November 6, 2009 (UTC)</small>
   
Get some1 outta bed to ban me
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== 4chan talk ==
   
Lock this page for editing so i win
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I tried restoring [[Talk:4chan]] because some anon user vandalized it. But I get a Spam protection filter saying I can't do it. Can you fix it please? :) {{User:Miley Spears/sig}} 22:09, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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:Done, even though the bloody spam filter is beyond me. I just removed the problematic text (which wasn't essential to that page) {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 22:21, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
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::Thanks! :) {{User:Miley Spears/sig}} 22:32, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
   
I win
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:I love the sound of swedish but could never quite get it right. An ex of mine was swedish (and blonde, surprisingly) and he tried to teach me a bit but every word I tied I would mangle the pronounciation. I think that the Australian accent and Swedish just don't mix. {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--11:59, 6/11/2009-->
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::Good thing you're putting this in the wrong conversation O_O {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 12:20, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
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:::I put it in the right place. The problem is that I'm a genous and think so much faster than you that I can see the logical link between 4chan and spam filters and Swedish with an Australian accent. I just don't know if I can dumb it down enough for you mere mortals to understand. {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--23:11, 6/11/2009-->
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::::And I did spell that right. I was using the Middle French spelling of genius, due to the subtle change in definition. {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--23:14, 6/11/2009-->
   
That is all.
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== Are you online? ==
   
Laalalalaaalaala
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We really need [[Special:Contributions/75.47.137.155|you to block someone]]. Like, now. And you edited recently and there's no admins in IRC. --{{User:Andorin Kato/sig}} 10:45, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
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:Sorry. But I saw that Modus took care of him. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 11:13, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
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::Yup, I saw. It's no problem... I was just trying to raise ''someone'' (I posted on his page, too) in the only manner I thought possible. --{{User:Andorin Kato/sig}} 11:14, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
   
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== אני צריך לתפוס זיון. ==
   
IIIII WIIIIIIIN!!!!! HAHAHAHAAH!
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או משהו. לפחות אני שיכור... {{U|Luvvy|♥}} <small>16:02, November 8, 2009 (UTC)</small>
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:You're also, apparently. male. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 17:00, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
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::Hey, I can't ''read'' Hebrew, so what can I do if Google defaults to male grammar! D: You can always get over here and verify my gender, but you'd have to know where "here" is, first... {{User:Luvvy/sig}} <small>17:12, 8 Nov</small>
   
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== when you judged my untweet ==
   
'''Gerry "Buzzsaw" "Hacksaw" "Chainsaw" "Deathtoll" "Manslayer"
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you said that i didn't fully exploit its potential, etc. now that improvements have been done, i want you read it again and give me some feedback.. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 16:57, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
"Axemaniac" Cheevers''' was a demi-god (UGH! Really? That theme hasn't
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:Well, it's definitely better now that he sounds like Osama rather than a teenage girl, but I'm still missing something. Problem is I don't know what. I'll sleep on it, maybe I'll come with an idea. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 17:19, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
been done to death on this site. Every fan boy with a crush thinks he can
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::I'll be waiting.. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 17:24, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
call his man-idol a God or demi-God and actually finds it funny...well not
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:::Good morning, overlord. Any idea's for the tweet? Also, wtf man! Why don't you lets us, mortals, have our fun? {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 08:56, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
this article! Gerry Cheevers deserves better than to be just a
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::::Not with page moves, that creates horrible mess. Still nothing. I'm still banging my head on the wall though. Maybe something will come out other than bruises. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 08:58, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
sterotypical representation of meme and net nerd humor. He shall be
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:::::Something like a '''For''' vote? Maybe, who knows? {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 09:07, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
transformed from God to loser!) who, appearing in the form of a [[hockey]]
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::::::Technically, how many '''for''' votes do I need to get an article with 3 '''against''' votes to be featured? {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 13:27, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
goaltender, backstopped the Boston Bruins to Stanley Cup victories in 1970
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:::::::Usually if the total votes are in the double digit you'll do OK. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 14:10, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
and 1972. Emerging from the mythical and legendary [[Canada]] under
 
suspicious circumstances, he still holds several [[NHL]] records, most of
 
them involving failure of some kind. Known for his beer-drinking abilities
 
and his unusual choice of headgear, Gerry Cheevers is one guy you would
 
find yourself unable to mock. (When faced with Patrick Roy's jock he got
 
down on his knees and sniffed just to get a taste of goalie related
 
greatness.)
 
   
His trademark goalie mask was the result of an errant puck during practice
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== SpANKIN! ==
which struck him in the face due to his lack of any ability. As a joke,
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<big><big><big>WHAR?!
his trainer drew [[Discount Plastic Surgery|stitches]] on the mask where
 
Cheevers would have needed them had he not been wearing it. Gerry found
 
the mask so amusing and intimidating that he continued this drawing
 
stitches where he was struck (This required much sucking on his part in
 
order to routinely get beaned in the head) until there was virtually no
 
un-stitched portion of the mask. Of course only a 5th grader thinks that
 
stitches are cool and Cheevers speaks for himself in this regard. In his
 
opinion, this rendered him much more terrifying than [[Halloween
 
(film)|others]] who, in his opinion, tried to imitate him, and also
 
illustrated the fact that if he had not worn the mask his face would
 
vaguely resemble raw hamburger, the result of daily beatings. He was once
 
asked if he did similar artwork on the gear of his opponents/victims.
 
Egged on by teammates who wanted a laugh Cheevers replied in a serious
 
tone, "''they don't let me into the morgue.''". The Flyers took exception
 
to this and next time the Flyers came to town they brutally beat Cheevers.
 
   
==Origins==
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HUGGLY WANTS SUM, TOO!
[[Image:Gerrycheevers2.jpg|left|200px|thumb|Cheevers is seen here in the
 
follow-through of one of his patended 'gutbuster' slashes. Notice the lack
 
of any opponents in the area? That's because he wasn't really slashing he
 
just couldn't maintain his balance.]]
 
Not much is known about Cheevers' early life. While it is possible that he
 
materialized from [[Canada|nowhere]] as a sixteen year old phenom
 
goaltender who happenned to go sour as he faced real competition, hockey
 
experts point out that this theory is "''stupid''" (Most people are
 
inclined to agree). In any case, he made his professional hockey debut in
 
1956 playing for the Saratoga Skunk Apes of the Ontario Hockey Gathering.
 
Cheevers showed considerable lack of talent and his coaches worried that
 
his lack of any backbone and skating ability would prevent him from
 
reaching elite goaltender status. His skating and balance were so bad that
 
his style of play was called the “Flail and fail.” On the rare occasions
 
he managed not to slip on the ice it seemed he had a penchant for slashing
 
at opponents near him. The coaches were sick of Gerry embarrassing the
 
team with his style of play and were worried that he would get seriously
 
injured slashing opponents since teams would routinely beat him senseless
 
afterwards. By reviewing the tape the coaches found that he wasn't
 
slashing at opponents but was actually just trying to stay upright on the
 
ice. He lucked into enough saves to maintain a respectable (not) 19.55.
 
GAA, and a save percentage of .043%, records for futility that still stand
 
to this day. They ordered Gerry to defend his net without a hockey stick
 
in practices, forcing him to both rely more on his body and pads to make
 
saves, and challenging him to focus on skating.
 
   
Gerry's struggle with failure was a motif throughout his career. Whenever
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'''*slobbers*'''</big></big></big> {{unsigned|a girlie cuddly cutiepie ban addict|who is definitely not [[User:Luvvy|Luvvy]]}}
it seemed like he finally had control of his skating a passing player
 
would intimidate him and insist that his mother was a whore to the point
 
where a flustered Cheevers would fall to the ice and flop around like a
 
fool. Laughter inevitably led to more laughter, and he suffered much
 
personal anguish in the early 1960s due to his role in the suffocation
 
related deaths of several hockey players who could not stop laughing at
 
him. In those days, the [[NHL]], the highest level of competition for
 
[[hockey|America's national pastime]], emphasized skill. This was not very
 
conducive to his style since he was a bit of a talentless pussy.
 
   
Luckily, in 1965 the [[NHL]] decided that the style of play should reflect
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==Thanks!==
talentless pussies and "''[[geologist|nancy-boys]]''" and so they altered
 
the rules to result in a much shittier game where the worst team would
 
win. These rules were then adopted by the less talented leagues in which
 
Cheevers was a participant at the time. The new rules suited Cheevers,
 
because his pathetic attempts at balance and...goaltending (snort) led to
 
his teammates expressing their frustration by acquiring vast amounts of
 
penalty minutes, suspensions, and causing delays in games whilst the
 
scoreboard was reset from 99-00 since Cheevers routinely gave up over 100
 
goals in games. A short-lived mercy rule was named the Cheevers Edict. He
 
redoubled his efforts at improving his goaltending fundamentals and
 
averaged only twenty seven goals per game in the 1966 season, a career
 
low. This made the games short enough for fans to attend and hilarious
 
enough to enjoy. In other words he’d make a gimmick for any team desperate
 
enough to draw fans. The Boston Bruins came calling and Gerry was ready to
 
hit the big time.
 
   
==Boston Bruins==
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{{box|
Cheevers landed the starting goaltending job with the Boston Bruins in
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bg=#FFFFFF|border=solid 3px #000000|Guildensternenstein.jpg|200px|
1967 who figured, "Eh what the hell we suck anyway...maybe breaking the
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[[Image:Guildy.jpg||right|150px|]]
records for futility and failure will actually draw in some fans!" Over
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'''<b><big>FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN</big></b>'''|
the next three seasons he amassed the aforementioned goals against average
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''Thank you for supporting my [[UnBooks:Insipid Sentimental Women's Novel|recently featured article]].''
of 19.55 and a save percentage not even worth mentioning. However, these
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<br>
stats are padded by the fact that nearly all opposing players were too
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<br>
busy shaking with laughter watching his sad attempts to stay upright to
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''Your support is greatly appreciated.''
get a shot on goal.
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<br>
  +
<br>
  +
{{User:Guildensternenstein/sig2}} 16:31, November 3, 2009 (UTC)
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}}
   
Rumors exist that Cheevers had a clause in his contract that allowed him
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== ROAK BAND ==
to drink beer between periods which might help explain his awful balance
 
and lack of goaltending ability. These rumors are true, and have also been
 
massively understated. He would drink a six-pack before each game and
 
between every period, and could often be seen making unnecessary pad saves
 
on high shots because his glove hand was busy trying to not spill his
 
Miller High Life.
 
   
===1970===
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I did the audio for it. Could you take a listen and tell me just ''how'' awful my German accent is? =D {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Tuesday, 02:39, Nov 10 2009</i></font></small>
The Bruins entered the 1970 [[Stanley Cup]] playoffs after one of the
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:I am thinking of recording the first section of the article, myself, to teach you kids how english with a german accent should sound like... :) {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 10:46, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
bloodiest regular seasons in memory (although hockey players have
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::Necro, other than the fact that your German accent is the worst thing I ever heard, I love it. It's excellent! Thanks for that. Also, Moosh, [[UnNews:Dunkirk debacle may extend war|I don't believe you need to teach me about German accent]]. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 12:16, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
notoriously poor memories due to repeated head trauma from collisions with
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:::Well, I know your German accent is wunderbar, Mordillo.. I was talking to Negropaxx. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 12:26, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
pucks, sticks, the ice, each other's fists, and Celine Dion) (Hmm a Celine
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::::Don't blame me, I'm just a merkin; I don't know wie Deutsch zu sprechen. {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Wednesday, 04:38, Nov 11 2009</i></font></small>
Dion reference in the original article...). Their opponent in the first
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:::::Ich bin ein Hamburger. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 06:20, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
round was the New York Rangers, a ragtag bunch of [[Mounties]] exiled from
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::::::Gott sei Dank für Google Übersetzer. {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Wednesday, 06:25, Nov 11 2009</i></font></small>
[[Canada]] for their disruptively above-average hygiene. (Yawwwwn. Funny
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:::::::Actually, google translator fucks up the grammar and structure of the sentence really good. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 06:34, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
right?) Cheevers was to face his long-time rival Terry Sawchuck, who had
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::::::::Truth be told, I'm actually using translate.reference.com's translator. :/ {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Wednesday, 22:37, Nov 11 2009</i></font></small>
five years beforehand robbed a bank using a replica Cheevers mask, causing
 
the real Cheevers to be asked uncomfortable questions about why he was so
 
graceful and skilled off the ice when he's such a fuck up on it.
 
[[Image:bobby-orr-1.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Bobby Orr pretending to be
 
Cheevers trying to stand up.]]
 
Boston took an early 2-0 series lead at home, and spirits were high. Yet
 
upon skating onto the Madison Square Garden ice for game 3, the Bruins
 
were met with vicious taunts by drunk and unruly fans. Spectators pelted
 
Cheevers with coins, rubber balls, eggs, and [[Eagles]] records. Desiring
 
an actual championship that they could feel good about winning the Rangers
 
forfeited and left town rather than waste their time.
 
After the debacle in new york the NHL put the Bruins up against pee-wee
 
teams thinking that even Cheevers could make saves against such joke
 
opponents. they were right as the Bruins went on to defeat Chicago and Rio
 
de Janeiro to advance to the [[Pee Wee Cup]] finals. There they faced the
 
St. Louis Blues, a team composed of sixteen [[hippies|dirty hippies]] and
 
[[Paula Abdul|a goaltender whose alcohol consumption abilities rivaled
 
Cheevers']]. However, Boston easily steamrolled St. Louis in the first
 
three games, with Cheevers tallying ninety-four saves, ten penalty minutes
 
and four people died of laughter. In overtime of game four, a robotic
 
jet-powered Bobby Orr (OMG really?) scored the game-winning goal in
 
overtime and immediately blasted off and entered low-earth orbit where he
 
is currently used as a [[GPS]] satellite. (Wow...just wow Somebody wrote
 
that line before I touched this article and thought it was funny…and
 
uncyclopedia preserves it...)
 
   
===1972===
+
== Here's a little irony for you ==
After being relegated to the pee-wee league Cheevers enjoyed what was
 
probably his best season in 1972. At his peak in both goaltending ability
 
and physical intimidation, he went undefeated in 33 consecutive games.
 
During this streak he faced some of the most elite players in the history
 
of [[pee wee hockey]], ending the careers of several children. Similar to
 
professional wrestling "heels", or "bad guys", Cheevers had by this time
 
mastered the art of attacking opposing children only when the referee's
 
back was turned, leading to fewer penalties for Cheevers and more
 
mysterious injuries to opponents.
 
   
The 1972 Stanley Cup Finals are considered to be some of the most poorly
+
Right when you blocked me for an hour for gloating (which I deserved), I was trying to make a post [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User_talk:MrN9000#Range_block here]. My post was about how innocent users can get blocked, even indefinitely, which happened to someone I know well (on another site). Then as I was trying to post it, I got a message that I was blocked. Weird coincidence, or are you admins mindreaders or something? {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 00:56, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
played hockey in [[NHL]] history. The Bruins faced a pee wee version of
+
:Definitely mind readers. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 01:04, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
their old rivals, the New York Rangers. Many sloppy goals were scored, and
 
the New York strategy of provoking Cheevers worked much to their advantage
 
(although not to their health). The Bruins' tandem of Phil Esposito and
 
Wayne Cashman combined to score just 39 goals in the series on a badly
 
undermanned team of kids, yet it was barely enough, since Cheevers played
 
relatively poorly in games 1, 3, and 5. By game 6, Bruins head coach Tom
 
"Tom Johnson" Johnson had managed to harness Cheevers' wrath. He posted a
 
shutout, securing the second Stanley Cup in three years for the B's.
 
   
==Later Career==
+
==you kicked me from irc==
[[Image:Doncherry.jpg|thumb|120px|Don Cherry with his rowdy bull terrier,
+
Sorry, I must have misinterpreted you. I thought you meant bring the conversation off Luvvy and onto the image, which is what we were supposed to be talking about. Sorry... /scratches head in confusion. {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Thursday, 01:02, Nov 12 2009</i></font></small>
Snuffles.]]
+
:Dude, just rejoin. It was a joke kick. -{{User:Optimuschris/sig}}<small><small>01:03, 12 Nov</small></small>
Cheevers continued turning aside vulcanized rubber for the Bruins through
+
::Jesus, where have you gone to? Rejoin immediately or I'll kick you again. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 01:04, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
the 1970s, racking up the saves as well as the penalty minutes. He had
+
:::oh, ok. /smacks head {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Thursday, 01:05, Nov 12 2009</i></font></small>
several run-ins with the Broad Street Bullies, so named for their tendency
 
to steal opposing teams' lunch money. In the late 70s, Bruins coach [[Don
 
Cherry]] encouraged physical play from his team, modeling his approach
 
after his feisty bull terrier. The Bruins won several division titles
 
under the reign of terror inflicted by Cherry and Cheevers, but failed to
 
win another Stanley Cup due mostly to Cherry's insistence on also modeling
 
the team's offense after his dog's behavior. Don Cherry went on to be
 
voted one of the top ten [[Canada|Canadians]] of all time, along with one
 
of the top fifteen best-dressed [[Canada|Canadians]] of all-time. He was
 
the only person to make both lists.
 
   
==Retirement==
+
== The World's most powerful people ==
In 1980 [[NATO]] ruled 'any use of Gerry Cheevers in organized competiton
 
or warfare' to be illegal since no one wants to laugh to death. Cheevers
 
wandered for a while after that, enjoying repeated guest appearances on
 
the sitcom [[Tony Danza|Who's The Boss]]. He currently runs a joke camp
 
where he teaches lucky children how to skate if they promise to give him a
 
chance to relive his "glory" days.
 
   
{{FA|date=7 October 2008|revision=3353712}}
+
[http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/108139/the-worlds-most-powerful-people-2009?mod=career-leadership This study...thingie] lists the most powerful people. Half of them are Jews. The other half are Arabs that want to kill the Jews. This is why we can't have world peace. QED. {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Thursday, 07:01, Nov 12 2009</i></font></small>
  +
:Oh, I get it, joke. They're mostly Caucasian males. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 19:31, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
   
  +
== Worshipper of Sophia ==
   
I WIIIIIIN! [[Category:Athletes]]
+
I recall having seen something about monks and nuns or some such for Goddess Sophia. I remember it said you could use a symbol in your user name, which I think is what you use. Can you or anyone who happens to wander by tell me where that page is? Thanks. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 20:05, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
[[Category:Awesome]]
 
[[Category:Dangerous]]
 
[[Category:Hockey]]
 
[[Category:Things Banned By NATO]]
 
   
  +
Nevermind; [[Church of Uncyclopedia|I found it]] right before I posted the above, making this section completely useless. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 20:05, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
   
Being a dick being a dick
+
I am now {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig4}} 21:44, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Better that than Rabbi Why. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 21:00, November 13, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::So if I became a Rabbi, you'd feel verklempt? {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7}} 16:24, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::I'll be so verklempt I'll be dancing in the streets. Naked. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 17:19, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::That sounds like a suitable ceremony. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7}} 07:03, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
   
Being a dick
+
== Lucy, I'm home. ==
   
being a dick
+
And on an unrelated side note, are you serious? Talking about the feature queue validates a two-hours ban? {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 11:33, November 13, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:"First rule of the feature queue is - you don't talk about the feature queue". {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:59, November 13, 2009 (UTC)
   
being a dick
+
== Which articles are you nominating for Foolitzer? ==
   
being a dick hahahahahahahahaha. I'd do this more often but unlike you
+
I wanted to double check... {{User:Hawthorn Peebles/sig}} 21:17, November 14, 2009 (UTC)
guys I actually have a life and I can't stay on uncyc every second of the
+
:Unless I've gone senile, which is quite possible, you nominate writers for the Foolitzer. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 09:55, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
day. But I do get to bust your balls every now and then b/c u guys are
+
::Damnit!! My trick question was too easily seen through! I knew it, I am slowly becoming--Evil-not-so-genius! {{User:Hawthorn Peebles/sig}} 18:55, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
fags....u could just put up my article and I'd go away otherwise I'll just
+
:::You need to torture small kids and puppies for a week, then try again. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:59, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
keep coming back. U have been forced to lock 14 pages for editing so far
+
because of me. How many can u afford to lock?
+
== Hey ==
  +
  +
Hey, can I get simple ''rollback''? I was admin on Polish Nonsensopedia till I resigned due to idiocracy bewtwwen other admins :P :P {{User:Ptok-Bentoniczny/sig}} 23:53, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
::Simple rollback as opposed to complex rollback? O_O Appreciate the fact that you were an admin there, but I'd rather you become a bit more experienced in Uncyclopedia before we talk rollback. Also, I haven't seen you actually involved in any maintenance activities. Let's talk again in the near future? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 19:56, November 16, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::: ok. {{User:Ptok-Bentoniczny/sig}} 21:10, November 16, 2009 (UTC)
  +
=='''Administrator''' Mordillo==
  +
Could I bend your ear on IRC for a moment? -{{User:Optimuschris/sig}}<small><small>17:40, 18 Nov</small></small>
  +
:Ahhh! SECRET JEWISH MEETING! The Illuminati... it does exist! {{User:Hyperbole/sig}} 17:46, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::'''DID YOU JUST CALL ME A JEW???!!?!??!!!?!?!''' -{{User:Optimuschris/sig}}<small><small>17:48, 18 Nov</small></small>
  +
:::I have it on good authority from my teabagger friends that you are a secret Jew. {{User:Hyperbole/sig}} 17:49, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::Hahaha. You said teabagger. Anyways, I think 'Dillo's gone. So how have you been Hype? Still got that rash? -{{User:Optimuschris/sig}}<small><small>17:51, 18 Nov</small></small>
  +
:::::I'm always here, watching, waiting, preparing latkes. And it's ''Mister'' administrator Mordillo to you. I'm a bit busy at the moment, are you around in a couple of hours? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:24, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::::Probably. -{{User:Optimuschris/sig}}<small><small>18:26, 18 Nov</small></small>
  +
:::::::Will you be wearing a dress? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:28, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::::::And your favorite stockings! -{{User:Optimuschris/sig}}<small><small>18:31, 18 Nov</small></small>
  +
  +
== No feature article today ==
  +
  +
Please forgive me for continually asking you questions, but I'm trying to learn how things work. I noticed there's no feature article for today, but there is one for tomorrow. Just curious if there's a reason for this, or if some code demon ate some essential code or something. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 03:55, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Yeah, the feature queue gets borked sometimes, fixed now. Thanks for letting me know. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 07:22, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::You banned me for two fucking hours for saying the same fucking shit to modus! {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 11:28, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::The difference was that last night I put an article for today and there was a technical problem which I didn't notice, and when you did that it was a "MY FUCKING ARTICLE IS THE NEXT TO BE FEATURED AND NO ONE FEATURED IT" thingy. Also, penis. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 13:30, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::No, it was the same. The FQ's tomorrow column had an article and the today column was empty, so I told modus about it, WITHOUT mentioning my fucking article. Also, boobs. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 13:44, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::No, it wasn't the same. Because Modus didn't put anything in the queue. I put an article in the queue for today it was bumped for tomorrow, it's an ongoing problem with the queue that eventually I'll ask Spang to fix. Also, Muhammad. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 14:18, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::::No, it's the same. Also, Muhammad is my first name, so, what do you want? {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 15:45, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::::اذهب بعيدا لانني على وشك حظر مؤخرتك {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 15:52, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::::::حسنا. احظر مؤخرتي. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 16:15, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::::::Also, did you translate from English to Arabic or from Hebrew to Arabic? {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 16:21, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::::::::English. I wonder if it will work better from Hebrew though. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 16:39, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::::::::I guess it would. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 17:02, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Little question==
  +
So when should I use an Oh Dear and when should I leave it open? Just checking. {{User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}}<small>''16:52, 19 November 2009''</small>
  +
:I think when it's obvious that the offender (offendee?) is about to get his ass banned for a long time you can skip the Oh Dear. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 16:54, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Ah. Okay. {{User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}}<small>''16:57, 19 November 2009''</small>
  +
  +
== Can't log in to Uncyclopedia ==
  +
  +
Here I am again, the guy who brings trouble. I noticed the log in screen changed very recently, maybe yesterday or the day before. I had to try logging in twice today before I could, then it suddenly logged me out. When I tried logging in again, it gave me a message saying I was now logged out. I did that about four times before I could post this message. Also another user hasn't been able to log in at all (I forgot to ask what browser they're using; I had a problem using Internet Explorer 8, but I'll try another browser and see if it does the same thing). Could you fix it or know someone who could? I posted this for Sannse too so that whichever one of you is one first can check it. Thanks for your patience. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 22:58, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
I just tried Firefox and ran into the same problem, got suddenly logged out then had a hard time logging back in. I think there's something wrong with the new sign in screen. You may have other users who can't log in at all; I know of at least one. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 23:09, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:I'm afraid this is generally something I can't help you with, only sannse can. The only thing I can suggest is that your clear your cache and delete all cookies and try again. However, if you tried it with multiple browsers, it's probably something from Wikia's side.
  +
On an unrelated note I need to clarify something. I never had a problem with you asking questions and having problems. I had an issue with you lecturing me and/or commenting on "the sewer that is Uncyclopedia". That's all. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 12:16, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Hopefully Sannse will see the note soon. I've since talked to someone else who is having the same problem. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 19:26, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::How about Uncyclopedia has a sewer with some really nice condos over it? I just meant that to me most of what I've found on this site is crap, but I also think some of it's great. I appreciate that some people are willing to work on cleaning up the site without getting paid to do it. Happy editing! {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 19:24, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::Whatever floats your boat. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:28, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Thinking of sunnier climes than Northern Europe...==
  +
Have you ever been to Haifa? If so, what did you think of it? I'm thinking of taking the missus on a surprise holiday there early in 2010. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 15:10, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:My missus is from Haifa, so I basically have family there. But why Haifa out of all the other places? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 15:18, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::It just looks rather pleasant and has a lot of art galleries. I thought about Eilat, partially because you can get flights there from the UK for not much at all and because of a headmistress I had at school who went there,trod on some sort of venomous spiky fish and died as a result. I'd like to find that fish and buy it a drink, but the Eilat weather might be 40 C or so warmer than I can handle. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 15:25, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::It is rather pleasant but it gets boring after a couple of days. Not a lot to do there (and the misus will probably disagree).
  +
With regards to Eilat, it's not that hot early in the year, it's worse in June-September, but January-April it's quite pleasent and it's beautiful. Tel Aviv is certainly the fun capital of the country, just voted number ten in time out's top fun cities in the world. Loads of art, old parts, great food and parties all around. And a beach (even though Haifa and Eilat got that as well). There are other places as well. How long do you have and what's the planned budged? Also, look at eyeonisrael.com - great site {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:48, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::Maybe I'll think again about Eilat in that case, because I really do want to shake that fish by the ha...er, fin - though my idea of "too hot" is anything above 5 C. I suppose a few days in Haifa (the missus is a fan of the Mediterranean lifestyle so she'd enjoy it) then travelling to Tel Aviv is an option too - we'll just have to wait and see what happens, because at the present time I'm not too sure what we have re. time and money. Thanks for the eyeonisrael site - hadn't seen that one and it is indeed a good 'un. While I'm about, it seems we have inadvertently changed the world - Kosher Nostra has been [http://www.thejc.com/news/uk-news/22192/rabbi-took-kosher-food-eat-during-five-day-coke-binge inspiring people]. :-) {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 09:57, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::That's hilarious! I think I'll put it on the Kosher Nostra article :). With regards to Haifa, that's not really the Mediterranean style, you're definitely looking for Tel Aviv. Haifa have their own style really. To do a quick list:
  +
  +
Haifa: relaxed, quite, have a world heritage center - the Baha'i Gardens, very very good middle eastern food, reasonable night life and gateway to travel the north of the country. Also, very mountainous (the misus didn't know how to ride bikes until she was quite old since they don't do bike over there. too steep).
  +
  +
Tel Aviv: party town, noisy, tons of everything 24/7. Gourmet food (and I do mean gourmet, they have some of the best restaurants I've been to), great beach, world heritage center (the "white city" - biggest concentration of Bauhaus buildings in the world), tons of museums. Tel Aviv would be more expensive than Haifa though.
  +
  +
Eilat in January, btw, would be around 15-20 degrees. Really nice and dry during that time of the year. Anyway, when you have more specific details I can give you loads of recommendations. We're going to be there, btw, from December 17th until the 30th. Last but not least - I might be in London next week. You're in the area? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 10:15, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
:Ooh yes, I forgot the Bauhaus buildings - I'm a big fan of those; but I think Mrs. Rabbi would find them tedious as she's more the Tudor-cottage-with-roses-round-the-door type. The restaurants sound good too...in fact, I think you may have persuaded me. In saying that, good Middle Eastern food in Haifa is tempting too, not least of all because she'd be happy surviving on falafel and hummus alone. On the other hand, Eilat sounds good for the Timna Valley (me being an archaeologist and all). Hmm. What chance would we have of getting to all three in, say, a week and a half? I'd quite like to get to Jerusalem too, just so I can reply to all those people who tell me that I should go to the Kotel that I have and they'll stop nagging me. I think I'll leave a few brochures around the apartment and stealthily make notes of what she seems interested in and then make further plans.
  +
  +
Not sure if I could make it to London next week as I'm a bit short on cash at the moment (redundancy money from last job has run out so really need to find a new one soon!) but let me know when and if you're there and I'll see what I can do. Which reminds me - was going to meet up with Olipro last week but forgot all about it. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 12:24, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
::Well, you know that Israel is one big archeology site, you don't need to go to Timna to see that. You have it everywhere. Just note which culture you want to visit :). There's even an underwater archeology park in Ceserea, which is about 40 minutes north of Tel Aviv. You can certainly do them all in ten days, that's the good thing about being a small country. Driving times are aprox - Haifa-Tel Aviv less than an hour, Tel Aviv to Jeruslaem, about an hour, Tel Aviv to Eilat about 4 hours. I think 2 nights in Haifa, 2 nights in Jerusalem, 3 nights in Tel Aviv and 3 nights in Eilat would be good. Also, don't forget the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee :) {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 13:43, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::That's true of everywhere on Earth, I suppose, but I'd rather like to see the Shrine of Hathor and the reconstructed Tabernacle. King Solomon's Pillars would be of interest too because I have a bit of an amateur interest in geology. Neither of us drive, but I hear the bus routes are good up and down the West coast (well, except for Gaza I suppose) and across the Negev. Hmm - could be a fun tour, and it ought to be simple to arrange flights from here to Haifa and from Eilat back home again. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 13:57, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::Yeah, transportation won't be a problem. There are bus connections everywhere, there's an express train between Haifa and Tel Aviv and there are flights between Tel Aviv and Eilat. Whenever you're getting serious on planning I'll give you all sorts of tips :0) {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 14:02, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::Excellent - you'll be my first port of call for advice. People say you can never trust anyone online, but choosing someone you've never met IRL over a travel agent is undoubtedly one example where you're probably better off doing so. Now - do you want some tips on places to visit in London? To be honest, it's a matter of choosing the least shit places IMO; polluted, over-crowded, filthy, noisy dump that it is. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 14:08, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Mordillydandoo ==
  +
  +
hummmmm? -- {{User:Sannse/Sig}} 23:52, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== You got the right one. ==
  +
  +
I'm pretty sure [[Special:Contributions/65.244.166.2|65.244.166.2]] is the right guy to ban. That's how [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=User%3ACrapcrapcrap&diff=4232178&oldid=4224549 this guy] operates: when he's not being "not even wrong" in his additions to articles, he makes a bunch of pointless edits like changing one template to a similar one or rearranging the categories at the bottom of the page. He also likes to pretend his sockpuppets aren't paper-thin. {{User:Syndrome/sig}} 19:43, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:That might be, but he seemed to reverted the previous ones. I'll keep an eye. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 19:45, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Suit yourself. Now shall I list every one of {{U|Wikipediastinks}}'s articles on QVFD or will you ban him and delete them without the intermediate step? {{User:Syndrome/sig}} 19:51, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::I burned down his house and killed his pet dog. I hope you're happy. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:43, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::You're such a savage barbarian. {{User:Syndrome/sig}} 20:11, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== I am here to complain! ==
  +
  +
Is this the correct office for that sort of thing? {{User:The Woodburninator/sig2}} 01:05, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:No, this is the bureau for the protection of the free world. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 01:06, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this page was run by some Jewish guy. My mistake. {{User:The Woodburninator/sig2}} 01:16, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::There's always [[Uncyclopedia:Complaints Department]]. {{User:Syndrome/sig}} 20:11, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== I am here about the protection of the free world! ==
  +
I was told by some guy that this was the place to be. {{User:The Woodburninator/sig2}} 01:16, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Yes please? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 01:20, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::I heard the free world is in danger from that Jewish guy over in the Complaints department. Are you going to do something about this, or is your administration going to sit back and let it happen....''AGAIN...'' {{User:The Woodburninator/sig2}} 01:23, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::We'll probably blame that other guy. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 01:27, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::All your administration does is blame [[Emmanuel Goldstein|that other guy]]. Meanwhile, the real evil guy is right in front of you, ruining the world this way and that. I heard he was egging the Johnson's house just a fortnight ago. How dare you sit back and refuse to do something about that guy. Your administration will get it one day, do you hear me? {{User:The Woodburninator/sig2}} 01:32, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Give it back!==
  +
  +
[[you|Nigga]] [[delete|stole]] [[MY|my]] [[page!|bike]]! I tell to police!--[[User:W8G7B|W8G7B]] 17:16, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:What do you want, other than to annoy me? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:03, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::If he's not going to answer you, I'm fully prepared to demand a new pair of jeans on his behalf. {{User:Hyperbole/sig}} 00:08, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==About the game, and teh end of the world and such==
  +
Hi grandad, I'm back from Warsaw if you want to chat a bit later this evening about those last week's ideas. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 18:51, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Can you give me the link again? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:06, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::[[User:Multiliteralist/writing game|Here]]. The idea on the page is the first model that came to my mind but I think you can easily see other similar ideas for different kinds of articles. Could be fit in with Collaboratory when that gets slapped together the way we imagined it might be. The other idea was those vague thoughts MrN9k and I had about said lab; they could be improved by some col I'm pretty sure. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 05:49, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
  +
===Also, Polterfuckingeist===
  +
Where the hell does the page Multiliteralist/Megaloscope2 disappear for most of the time? I only sometimes can locate it on my watchlist, and at times I'm not sure I haven't thrown it away. Pity since it's the better version. Also, now I'm not sure I'm even here because of my head being messed by the beings from the other Univers(ity)e. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 08:31, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Yyyym ==
  +
  +
Well, ye, I asked Pippo to nominate me just because it was no other nominated people. But well... now I'm banned from Polish Nonsensopedia for a year. And well, I was best writer on Polish Nonsensopedia. After I quitted (ban was for my request :P) they have nearly no new articles. Maybe Pippo told to other sysops to support me here to make me get back to Nonsensopedia? I have no idea. Pippo is my friend, yes. but others... I don't know.
  +
  +
And check that [[Michael Holding]] has not been nominated by a Pole, but by Uncyclopedia admin.
  +
  +
Well.. nomination for empty award isn't so big deal. but my VFH for Holding is normal, and well, I do not have contact with other sysop than Pippo. And I didn't ask him to ask other guys to come here and vote... {{User:Ptok-Bentoniczny/sig}} 19:16, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::FP is hardly an empty award, it's the second important writing related prize around here. The fact that no one was nominated for this month, means it's OK to rig it. As for nonsenpedia, as I said in the past, I have no idea what's happening there nor it is relevant for Uncyclopedia. Just told you how things look like at this moment. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:00, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::: Well.. you can always vote for someone else or something... there was long month before awarding prize, so don't worry man. {{User:Ptok-Bentoniczny/sig}} 20:23, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::You are not following me, I'm not worried. I'm feeling uncomfortable with your conduct. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 23:25, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::And I say -> I didn't ask any other Polish guys to come here and vote (except Pippo) :P {{User:Ptok-Bentoniczny/sig}} 21:43, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Main Page ==
  +
  +
I love it. I was trying to work out how you were going to do it. Brilliant work! {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--09:21, 25/11/2009-->
  +
:Was very difficult really, I copied your code and pasted it O_O {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 19:26, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== May I ask why ==
  +
  +
You may not know why I made User:Necropaxx/HowTo:Fish a redirect, and I'll explain why. When I first started here, I was looking through PLS for one of the articles that was on a user page and couldn't find it. Eventually, I found that the sub user page was huffed because it was a double redirect (which is the same thing that happened in this case). I talked to a few people including an admin (sorry, don't remember which one) about making it a redirect so that people like me could find a PLS article when they looked through the history. It took me over an hour to do all that, but I got support (or, in one case, go ahead I don't care), and the redirect is still there after a couple months. I really think it would be helpful to some user who, like me, is looking through the PLS history or winners and can't find the article if [[User:Necropaxx/HowTo:Fish]] redirected to [[UnBooks:Gone Fishing]]. Also I posted a note on Necropaxx' talk page letting him know I had done it and why. Thanks for your consideration. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 22:40, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Err, you might have noticed that following your explanation to Necro I actually fixed the redirect on the PLS main page, therfore making your redirect unnecessary. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 22:44, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Hey, thanks and stuff! Although is it still listed the old way on the page that gives the voting details? But I suppose that doesn't matter much. Thanks again! {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 22:51, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== You beat me by seconds ==
  +
  +
{| {{prettytable}} class="vote-box"
  +
|-
  +
||'''Article''': [[Insert article title here, without link ]]
  +
||'''Score: 1'''
  +
|-
  +
||'''Nomination'''
  +
||12.77.178.232 22:33, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
  +
|-
  +
||'''For Votes:''' 1
  +
||
  +
# {{For}} Spectacular article. The depth of wit and intelligence shown in this submission simply blows me away. I love the juxtaposition of sexuality and excretia, leaving the reader wondering not only about the intelligence of the writer but also their sexual appetites. I feel that all of my works to date have simply been a mere whisper of a shadow against the intellectual and satirical might of the writer. {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--22:51, 25/11/2009-->
  +
|-
  +
||'''Against Votes:''' 0
  +
||may you fuck my huge cock then fuck my shit tits ass fucker dick
  +
|}
  +
  +
== FA template ==
  +
Don't subst it or the world could literally explode. There are instructions on the template page on how to make it say different things. {{User:Spang/Sig|!}} <small>10:38, 26 Nov 2009</small>
  +
:What's the problem then? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 10:47, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Various feature related pages use that template to get the date and stuff, and they can't use it if it's not there. Being substed counts as it not being there, see, because it's just the code, not the template. Which is why it has to be the template, not just the code inside the template. See. {{User:Spang/Sig|!}} <small>03:59, 27 Nov 2009</small>
  +
:::So essentially what you said in the first place, it's the end of the world. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:45, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::Quite! {{User:Spang/Sig|!}} <small>03:28, 28 Nov 2009</small>
  +
  +
== Modillo ==
  +
  +
YOU ARE A FAGGOT!!!!!!! --[[User:Roman Dog Bird|Crybaby]] 22:19, November 26, 2009 (UTC)~
  +
:Indeed I am. And my wife agrees. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:45, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==THINKER==
  +
I deleted my cache...still not seeing an Aristocrats banner on the mainpage? Point me in the right direction if I'm missing something.. --{{User:The Thinker/sig}} 08:01, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:It's currently a site notice. I'll move it to the main page. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:45, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Hm...wonder why I didn't see it as a site notice? Maybe my script blocker? --{{User:The Thinker/sig}} 05:58, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::MAYBE YOU'RE JUST TOO GOOD FOR THE SITE NOTICE EH?! {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 08:56, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::MAYBE I AM EH?! Also, this isn't my conversation. {{User:Necropaxx/sig}} <small><font color="darkred"><i>Saturday, 09:01, Nov 28 2009</i></font></small>
  +
::::Ah, yes that would be the logical answer.. --{{User:The Thinker/sig}} 03:42, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Uncyclopedia goes legal==
  +
Hi grandfather - Zana Dark and I established Uncyclopedia Legal Department (UnLeDe or something like that) today. Want to join? You can choose your title. RabbiTechno is in. It requires no action - just let us know you're in and we'll add your name to the member list. The good Rabbi was suggesting you and Kakun since then we would have a Bet Dein Jewish court.
  +
  +
My initial idea was, and is, to just improve bad articles by slapping a template on them - a legal template that picks something in the article and raises it as a point of legalistic discussion. It doesn't seem to do much but there is joke potential (I hate rewriting but I guess a little joke on the side is better than just a bad article - also if there's something fun attached to the article people might get inspired by it a bit).The templates can also be used as warnings and so forth - and of course the dept. can do other things, being the ultimate legal power around - barring the, you know, nonexistent thingy. I'm in chat now if you have some ideas or want to check out I've not just flipped. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 11:37, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Sounds like fun, but we need to keep that in the joking area rather than change it into a proper maintenance templates that we use already. Do you have a link for me? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 13:36, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::OK, I'll let the others know about that one. Nothing's up yet - the page is under construction in Zana Dark's sandbox (Just a moment). I was also thinking of it more as an addition to a bad article rather than a maintenance template. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 13:53, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::Klink: [[User:Zana_Dark/sandbox]] --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 13:57, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::I thought the same thing when Multi told me about it on IRC - it needs to be made clear that this is neither a replacement nor an alternative to ICU etc. We already know that, but it needs to be clear for new users. {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 14:05, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::BTW, why not perform mock trials on top of the templates? Uncyclopedia vs. God? Uncyclopedia vs. Wikia? Uncyclopedia vs. Cajek? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 20:14, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::::Looks like a good idea - eggsplain a bit though, please. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 06:32, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== VFD Procedure ==
  +
  +
Your recent decree regarding VFD--Don't nominate unless you also vote '''Delete'''--should be added to the documentation of VFD. (My personal opinion--now apparently moot--is that the question of whether one thinks an article should be voted on should be separate from how one would vote on it; I aired [[ATI]] to see whether people thought it was of general interest; not being a customer, my belief that it was an in-joke didn't rise to wanting to delete the article. But '''Nom and Keep''' is more problematic, as though the nominator just wanted to get stroked for his article, which should not happen via VFD.)
  +
  +
Another thing that might be clarified is dispositions of an article. Additional outcomes to '''Keep''' and '''Delete''' are: (1) Huff it, in view of a ready replacement article, and (2) Keep it but apply a different version as a change to it (differs from #1 in retaining the change history). For example, it's clear what voters want to happen to [[Mustaches of Legend]]--but not because we all voted that way. Other outcomes, such as Combine with an existing article or Redirect to an existing article, are problematic because we essentially vote on whether we like an article, followed by a touchy-feely process, or one guy's suggestion, regarding what to do about the consensus opinion. {{User:SPIKE/signature}} <small>18:09 1-Dec-09</small>
  +
  +
:Spike, you were a Wikipedian right? This isn't an insult by the way, just a question. I get the feeling you were editing there for a while because you seem to be taking the their approach of - everything has to be documented and set in stone. It works well for them, but it doesn't work for us. In fact, the approach we always had is - the less rules the better. To the two [[UN:R|written rules]] you can add one unwritten one - use common sense. And so, I don't feel I need to add anything to VFD rules as with you it was the first time an instance like that was encountered. With Syndrome, it's quite obvious he's taken the piss. Which is fine, that's what we do everyday, I just wanted to stop it there and then.
  +
  +
:Other than that, the main reason I don't think the approach of "nom and you think about it" is that VFD is not a test balloon area. There are 25,000 articles in Uncyclopedia. If you think one is worthy of deletion, nom it, vote for it. If you don't think it is - don't. You'll be taking space in VFD and taking the time of the people who are taking the time to read the nominations. \
  +
  +
:As with the outcomes - again, I don't feel there is a need to complicate the process further. If it's deleted - it's deleted. Anyone wants to revive or to rewrite in his space and time, he's welcomed to talk with any admin and he'll get it. If it's kept, it's kept. You'll notice that a lot of what you mentioned (merging, rewriting, revering to previous versions) is usually happening spontanoiusly as part of the VFD process. So once more, I don't think it's necessary to complicate the the process further.
  +
  +
:Simplicity, common sense and free beer. This is normally our approach. Except for the free beer, that's normally costs money. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:53, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
::OK, fine. MrN has also discussed the preference for informality, and I'm okay with that. Yes, I was a Wikipedian--but was a stickler for clarity before that (It's what I do on the job). And a beer drinker before that. {{User:SPIKE/signature}} <small>19:18 1-Dec-09</small>
  +
:::Beer it is then. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 19:25, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::BTW, "on the job" gives me memories from "Hill Street Blues". {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 19:26, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::Let's be careful out there. -{{User:Optimuschris/sig}}<small><small>18:27, 2 Dec</small></small>
  +
  +
Having slept on it...Ignore (as you have) my ruminations above about how delightfully formal the process could be, and please return to my original point. In fact, you ''did'' lay down a law--No more '''Nom and Keep''' or '''Nom and Abstain'''--and I'd like to see it written down somewhere other than an archived VFD. I might forget, and many other people in the business of writing cleverly and provocatively might forget, and you should be spared the drama of having to ban us for insubordination. {{User:SPIKE/signature}} <small>13:25 2-Dec-09</small>
  +
:That may be, but the common sense point still takes. This is the first time in over three years I've been around I've seen such an instance and I don't feel we need a rule to cover this. If you forget, we'll remind you. And we don't ban people that fast. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:46, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Some argue that VFD has too many rules already. Some ''further'' argue that you do indeed ban people that fast. [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Special:Log&type=block&page=User%3ASyndrome April 9th] is the biannual Block Syndrome for Some Petty Reason and then Leave Sort of Patronizing Unblock Message Day. Now, while I may not be the first to [[Talk:Papercuts of Doom|nom and keep]], I do believe there is a practical reason for it. It's like a vaccine. Introduce your article to VFD under conditions where you know it will be kept, then later in the future when standards are higher, it will be hard for someone to come back and delete it because it's already been exposed to VFD and the result was keep. I think that if I saw anyone actually nominating an article with that in mind, though, I'd shoot them. {{User:Syndrome/sig}} 15:40, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::Syndrome, go away. Or take an aspirin, imagine me in a bikini and then go away. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 16:43, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::So I either leave with a headache or I leave blinded. Wonderful. {{User:Syndrome/sig}} 22:49, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::::Why choose when you can have both? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 22:50, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Ahem.. ==
  +
  +
And a super special thanks for the nom. :X
  +
{{PN|ZD=EGA}}
  +
:<s>ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION</s> You're welcome! {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:54, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Question ==
  +
  +
There's a slight chance I'll have half an hour to spare to throw something together this afternoon, and was going to run up a little something for the turkey day ball, but I need to know first if this sounds ''too'' bad taste: "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here (1944 TV show)", with a bunch of fictitious Jewish celebs in a German "Reality TV show" made during the war, to cheer up the German public, all performing hilarious stunts for the pleasure of said viewing public, trying to win the popular vote and be allowed to take a refreshing shower and leave the camp... Acceptable bad taste, or too much? --{{User:Under_user/sig3}} <small><font color="navy"><i>11:23, Dec 2</i></font></small>
  +
:Nothing is unacceptable <small>as long as it's not a nude picture of Olipro</small> thanks for asking though! {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 12:31, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Thanks. It's done. I can't decide if I feel proud or dirty. --{{User:Under_user/sig3}} <small><font color="navy"><i>14:07, Dec 2</i></font></small>
  +
:::I thought we were going for best article that is in bad taste. I wish my taste was as bad as UU's. {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--20:43, 2/12/2009-->
  +
::::Your tastes ''are'' as bad as UU's. You taste like used gym socks. Take a shower, man, you smell. {{User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/The Sig of Cthulhu}} 00:19, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Lies==
  +
I tried using the move function to move "Xbox" to the more accurate Title "Xbox 360" and it wouldn't let me do it. I hope this wasn't a joke on your part to make fun of my retardedness. --{{User:Matfen815/sig}} 17:53, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:That's because you tried to move an article onto an another existing article. Since you can't delete articles, you can't perform that move either. I did that for you. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 18:44, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Muchas gracias, Mordillo. You are truly the keeper of God's more mentally slow children. thnx again. --{{User:Matfen815/sig}} 19:29, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::De nada. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 21:36, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Here's your template==
  +
[[File:Black.png|150px]] '''Frontpage Writer of the Month, Oct 09'''<br>{{User:Modusoperandi/sig}} 00:00, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:That's going on my wall of fame, next to the moosehead and UU's panties. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 00:07, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::The giant granny panties or the soiled tighty whities? {{User:Modusoperandi/sig}} 00:49, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::The iridescent purple latex posing pouch. That you gave me last christmas. You're always so thoughtful. Also, forgetful. --{{User:Under_user/sig3}} <small><font color="navy"><i>14:38, Dec 3</i></font></small>
  +
::::Oh. That was a regifting. My manparts run free. {{User:Modusoperandi/sig}} 17:52, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Legal complications galore==
  +
[[User:Multiliteralist/proclamation|Here's]] what I sporked and mangled. It's going to be the disagreement form by which we will all be subpoenaed to the fullest extent of any and all ... uh, lost the thread. But serious and legal stuff. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 09:33, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Also, please have a look (if you respect statute 17, paragraph 38) at Category:UnLegal (don't know how to link categories sorry) for articles where I've used the template and which way. ''This talk page message is part of the proceedings of the Uncyclopedia Legal Department.'' --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 10:33, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Ban this guy again==
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  +
130.156.65.229, he is the same guy who was blanking RAHB's page, apparently he is cool enough to get access to another computer to blank Socky's too. Recognise, he runs uncyc, or so I heard. --[[User:ChiefjusticeDS|ChiefjusticeDS]] 16:50, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Waaaay ahead of you. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 16:52, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::That wasn't my talkpage. O.o {{User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}}<small>''16:58, 3 December 2009''</small>
  +
::He's on IRC now, no idea what's going on, calling himself GerryCheeversSig. --[[User:ChiefjusticeDS|ChiefjusticeDS]] 16:54, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Can you kick him? He is spamming the channel. --[[User:ChiefjusticeDS|ChiefjusticeDS]] 16:55, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::Sorry for taking so long, as I'm at work I can only work via the web access, and it's shite. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 17:04, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::::Don't worry about it, he was clearly a most confused individual. --[[User:ChiefjusticeDS|ChiefjusticeDS]] 17:06, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
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  +
==More and more legal==
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  +
You asked somewhere if the templates could be used to do something (cases such-and-such against so-and-so)... I lost the message or something else happened - want to chat about it later today or some other? --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 12:28, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== My Username ==
  +
  +
For the record, my username is from an interactive webcomic called Lunar Hill which finished... twice.. and started again... twice. One of the commands was "Reverse Genocide Cockatrices". To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what it means, but things obviously happened.
  +
  +
It turns out the person who wrote the command was Kalir. --[[User:Reverse Genocide Cockatrices|Reverse Genocide Cockatrices]] 12:56, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Blame NetHack. {{User:Kalir/sig}} 00:20, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Dude ==
  +
  +
why would you erase the opfor article i made?
  +
:Because it seems to be a [[vanity]] article made about a group of COD players? Was I mistaken? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 11:12, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
Well, if by group of palyers you meant a clan or real people then its not. Although it may be vanity :P. Doesn't matter leave it like it is.
  +
  +
== For your convenience ==
  +
  +
My response to the Construction-ICU discussion is [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User_talk:Syndrome#Premature_ICU here]. I do want to say here, though, that [[ICU]] says 'Sometimes pages that are in the process of being worked on get tagged accidentally by users who don't see that the page is still under construction. If this happens to you, just remove the tag with the edit summary "Still Under Construction".' This page was just being created by a new user who had not been welcomed and I imagine didn't know about the Construction tag, so I removed the ICU tag and added Construction as per the ICU article. {{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig}} 05:48, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Responded at that location. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 11:12, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
==Granddad==
  +
Hi there, old man! It's the Independence Day of Finland now, you know, to commemorate how we beat the USSR (and probably all of the Eastern Bloc) in the Second World War Two. To jubilate the occasion a bit, could you please meet me in chat some time during the day? It's not very important so if you're busy, no big deal. Leave a message somewhere you suspect I might be monitoring and tell me when, approx. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 09:43, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Not sure what's my agenda for today. When are you planning to be around on IRC? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 11:11, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::Right now for instance, probably a couple of hours and then quit, to come back later when it's evening here. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 11:37, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:::All right - please see [[Ian Brown]] to see how it would work. I tested it in my userspace first and also maybe to construct the legalese a bit further. So then - I suppose there won't be a "SHORT ARTICLE!!!!" -problem since the legalese will all be subpages to the Legal Department main page. Also, Zana hasn't yet fixed the template so that it won't put the articles in UnLegal category any more - I asked her to wait, gonna ask her to do it whenever she can. Also, the templates to be slapped on articles and talk pages & so forth will be different than the default one now on the articles - I don't know which way she'll like to do it. This is straight now, isn't it, right after the non-UnLegal articles have been cleared off the category? --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 16:06, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Cheers! ==
  +
  +
{{Legal/S|header=YOUR REGISTRATION WAS SUCCESSFUL|link=User:Zana Dark|linktext=~ Zana Dark, <small>Head of Department</small>|In accordance with the [[Uncyclopedia Legal Department]], I hereby verify your membership. You are now legally official and stuff. &nbsp;<sup>22:58, December 6, 2009 (UTC)</sup>}}
  +
  +
==MORDILLO!==
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  +
Good afternoon, my fine friend, I hope the run-up to Hanukkah or however you spell it is going well in the Dillo household! I have nothing constructive to say, I just wanted to say good afternoon without banning you for once. Oh, and how are things? (I'm not properly back yet, by the way, just dropping in when I get time now and then). --{{User:Under_user/sig3}} <small><font color="navy"><i>13:49, Dec 7</i></font></small>
  +
:Same old same old. Always on watch on the crap floodgates (the crapgates?) while trying not to go insane with the amount of work I have (as everyone seem to remember suddenly there's something that just HAVE to be finished by the end of the year). But! There's a light in the end of the tunnel, and no, it's not a train coming to run me over, it's vacation! I'm going home for two weeks next Thursday. So, good food, friends and sun. I haven't seen the sun in MONTHS! :)
  +
How is the new house? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 13:54, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
  +
::The house? A few minor teething troubles - nearly had the gas supply for the entire close shut down due to a suspected gas leak, which would have made us popular with the new neighbours! And I still have no internet at home, which as much as anything else is why I'm not on here much - can't do any work at home, and have to cram it all in to office hours. As we work with retailers, ''everything'' is vital around christmas, so it's non-stop emergency priority until we close the office for the holidays. The good news is we just got an extra 2 days, so I only have 9 more days at work this year, which is something to look forward to!
  +
::I still drop in here whenever I get time, banning a 'tard here, deleting something there, but hopefully I'll be back in full effect in the next week or two. How's Mordillia? --{{User:Under_user/sig3}} <small><font color="navy"><i>14:04, Dec 7</i></font></small>
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  +
==Richt==
  +
Please check out [[Ian Brown]] to see if this is more like it. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 15:22, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
  +
:Much much better. The border of the template is a bit weird, but that's a personal taste issue really. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 22:06, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
  +
<s>::Idea is it looks like a legal document, nothing about taste there. Glad you like it better now anyway. Keep it legal. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 07:03, December 8, 2009 (UTC)</s>
  +
:::I had another look - yeah gotta ask Zana to change it back to look like it was before, with that blue border. Thanks. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 07:04, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Killer trainer 2 ==
  +
  +
I concur with your comment on BP. Socky left a note on his talk page about proper coding just after he laid waste to the Infobox in [[USSR]]. I merely replied to his comment on [[Talk:Barack Obama]]. He doesn't quite merit banning, but has deficiencies in the departments of coding, relevance, and humor; and the superlatives on his user page suggest to me that he doesn't realize it. {{User:SPIKE/signature}} <small>21:43 7-Dec-09</small>
  +
:That certainly seems the case, but if we ban everyone with bad humor we won't have anyone left to talk with. Usually having a nice chat with them helps, and if not - I'm still here. BP should really be used as a last resort or against obvious vandals. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 21:48, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
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::Got it. {{User:SPIKE/signature}} <small>22:01 7-Dec-09</small>
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==Moreover==
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Below is what I suggested to Zana a minute ago. Who might want to be judge and jury? I realize some suggestible persons might take all that too seriously but... uh... I hope there aren't too many of those. For their own sake rather than mine.
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:What if we set up a legal affidavit template with some pre-rendered text? Tell me what you think of this and let's cook the text up together if you like it. There might be two: suggestion and complaint. Then we could start telling people that if they have reason to complain (careful not to do it with too stiff users though) they can turn to the Dept. for legal assistance. Then we could submit the case to someone who's willing to script the court case based on it. Might be more fun to others than trying to come up with laws and stuff. We would thereby set up some mock drama, it might even be healthy. Or sick. --{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 07:16, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
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Isn't this your idea now that I think of it for a second - the mock trials? I just came up with a way to initiate them it seems.
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--{{User:Multiliteralist/sig}} 07:24, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
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==NO U==
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I was thinking, we could have a self-hating series, since everybody hates themselves at the core. Something along the lines of [[Self-hating Jew]]. I thought you'd like to mull it over, weigh in, write something, or fart, as is your pleasure. Also, thanks for weighing in on my Welcome from Mahmoosha. Cheers! {{User:Zim_ulator/sig}} 23:15, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
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== Hi, Modus ==
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#I apologize if it looked like I was trying to accuse you of some sort of Zionist conspiracy. I just [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=User_talk%3ARAHB&diff=4265394&oldid=4265392 wasn't careful] with my wording.
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#Assuming my adoptee gets off his lazy arse and actually finishes it, I'm having him do a reskin for [[User:Invincibleflamegruemaster/Christmas Reskin|Christmas]]. How plausible is this for the main page? Any feature planned for Christmas?
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#[[Penis penis Penis penis penis penis Penis penis]]. {{User:Syndrome/sig}} 07:10, December 9, 2009 (UTC)
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:Other than the fact that you called me Modus, no problem :). As for the reskin, nothing is planned as far as I know, let me know when it's finished and we can take a look. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 07:37, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

Revision as of 17:19, December 9, 2009

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Overconfidence

Welcome to my talk page. Now shut the fuck up and go write an article (or leave a new message at the bottom )



it's so clean Pup

Gentle Oral Raep

I wasn't really here. Metooka 11:33, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

But you were! ~Jewriken.GIF 12:03, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

the man in that picture

reminds me of somebody. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:21, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Of course he does, this is Wikus van der Merwe. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:46, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
The south african guy from district9? FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 05:36, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Fokken right. ~Jewriken.GIF 06:49, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Don't point your tentacles at Wikus. You won't get a fokken sweetie--BlueSpiritGuy 10:58, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

Sig change

I like to change my sig fairly regularly. And if you've only counted 15, then I think you may have missed a few. Pup

Wrong talk page. It was me who miscounted your sigs. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 07:23, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
I was working with 23 tabs open. You can't expect me to be prefect! Pup
Do I need to ban anyone? ~Jewriken.GIF 09:10, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Me!MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!! ^_^ Mamzera 09:23, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
האיסור שלי הוא מאוחר. שָׁרמוּטָה 16:34, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

אוזני המן

I'm fairly certain you haven't seen my response to what you said re. Hebrew and Yiddish names for stuff such as hamentaschen on my talkpage because none of the Yiddish stuff I added to the kosher article has been changed. So here it is:

"It says המן־טאַש in my cookery book, which is where I'm copying them from. It is a Yiddish cookery book, however, so I imagine you're right that this is the Yiddishe term. Do feel free to change anything I've added in Yiddish to Hebrew for the sake of consistency though, along with any errors on my behalf. I'm fairly certain I've mangled שלאָגן זיך בייגל, not least of all because "fight bagels" was the closest I could get to "fighting bagels." What little Yiddish I know comes from my bubbeh who, like most elderly ladies, preferred doing things like getting drunk and shouting at the cat to fighting so it's not a term I ever heard her use. Oh, and I have no idea of either the Yiddish or Hebrew term for feinkochen or mandelbrodt and if I try to transliterate into Yiddish I'll probably end up accidentally writing something really offensive. Also, I don't know the Hebrew for cholent, though in Yiddish it's טשאָלנט I believe. :-)"

Thanks for your help if you do correct any of mine. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 15:45, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Ah! I did miss that. Well, some names really exist only in Yiddish (such as Kenidalach, I mean, there is a Hebrew name but no one uses it) - and Hamentachen, we can use both the names really. With the Cholent, it's actually an interesting linguistic debate. Cholent is not a word in Hebrew, but most people would use that (טשולענט). However, there is another version of the dish from North Africa called Hamin or Chamin (חמין) which is a different dish to cholent, but a lot of people use that as a general name for this type of dishes. Having said that, I'm not even sure that Chamin is in Hebrew, it might be bastardized Hebrew or Ladino. Who said that being Jewish is easy?! ~Jewriken.GIF 15:58, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Interesting, that, because so far as I knew chamin was the Hebrew name for cholent (cholent coming from the Old French chalant, I believe. Suppose Rashi would have been the one to ask about that, he knows his Old French alright) - however, it's not something I've ever really thought about that much since absolutely everyone I know calls it cholent. I assume that chamin and cholent were originally entirely different things, one African and one French/Jewish - that ended up becoming confused and used to describe one (possibly entirely different) dish. Oh well - who cares, so long as it continues to taste as good as it does? The rabbis spend so much time arguing over whatever it is they argue over and nobody's even answered the basic questions concerning Jewish food yet! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:10, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

לפחות יש לך מושג מה אתה מקליד. תארו לעצמכם מה הרובוטים מתרגם יעשה שפת אם שלו ... שָׁרמוּטָה 16:15, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

My Hebrew is far too poor to understand that, other than something about robots. I find it's a good idea to be able to recognise the word robots in as many languages as possible - one never knows when the ability to do so might stand one in good stead, after all. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:20, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
ha, that's not bad actually. It says: "at least you have a vague understanding of what you type. Imagine to yourselvs what the robots (plural) translate (single) do mother tongue his." So not bad! ~Jewriken.GIF 16:25, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Ah, makes sense when you factor translation robots into it. Still - your Hebrew remains considerably better than mine, Luvvy. /me hangs head in shame Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:29, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
עצום ... Not Luvvy 16:31, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
They're great for playing Chinese Whispers if you have no friends, though. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:38, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Say Rabbi, did you know that on top of the Hebrew Uncyclopedia there is a Yiddish one? ~Jewriken.GIF 16:34, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
I didn't, but I'll have a look because according to some programme on the radio the other week Yiddish is at risk of dying out in the UK so I've been thinking I ought to develop the twenty or so words I know into at least a workable basic knowledge. That's partially just because Yiddish is such a great language for insulting people with, of course. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:38, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
It is. There is still a rather active Yiddish community in Israel, a few theaters as well (There's also a village that speaks Aramaic but that's just weird) ~Jewriken.GIF 16:46, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
As it happens, the chap presenting the programme was producing a Yiddish theatre show (mostly for his elderly mother's benefit, it seemed) and was worried nobody would show up for it. In the end, it sold out (although there was no mention of how many tickets were sold to his mother and her friends) so it seems some people can still speak it here. You hear the occasional older person in Golders Green and a few in Stamford Hill (possibly in the Manchester and Gateshead Jewish neighbourhoods too, but I've never been there because I don't fancy the innoculations you have to have before venturing into Northern England), and there's the Chasidim of course, but it's very rare that you find anyone either under 60 or not Chasidic who can speak it. Be a pity if it went the same way as its international language imitators like Esperanto because it sounds so great. A village where they still speak Aramaic, eh? You'll be telling me there are people in Argentina that speak Welsh next... ;-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:58, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Your nice and newly-cleaned talkpage isn't going to be so spick and span for long at this rate.... Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 17:00, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Incidentally, did you know Colin Powell can speak Yiddish? Pity he doesn't know how to say his own name in English, though. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:54, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

Supreme thanks

Just want to say that I am a huge Wikus fan. So you can imagine how surprised I was when I saw what you wrote on the main page. And I want to say thank you, it is one of the most awesome things I have ever encountered. Also, I'm a big fan of your work on uncyclopedia. So I guess, I just want to say thanks a million.

Baie dankie vir die moeite met die ongelooflike paragraaf op die hoofblad. Respek en integriteit aan u, met die grootste bewondering. --BlueSpiritGuy 21:24, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

My pleasure indeed! It was your "away" message that gave me that idea. Also, I have to praise myself for understanding your Afrikaans with my basic Dutch. In short - aangenaam meneer! ~Jewriken.GIF 21:28, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
It's all Greek to me. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:38, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Nice! I take it you've seen the movie. Yeah, I'm still away actually. Just popped by to check up on things. But well done with that Wikus message, it's almost an exact copy from the script, which is remarkable. As is your ability to understand the Afrikaans. As I've said, it is quite close to Dutch, but seeing as Dutch is not your first language it is a bit scary. I thought I could use it to gossip. Yes - Dit is voorwaar aangenaam! --BlueSpiritGuy 21:44, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
It's a great film isn't it? You can use it, I understand much more than I can write :). ~Jewriken.GIF 22:20, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
It is! And I'm not saying it because I'm a biased South African. Anyway, thanks again! I'm resuming my away status again...--BlueSpiritGuy 07:33, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
It's still beyond me why Mordilly has to learn Dutch and not... say Swedish... Mmmm... Swedish... *ahem* At least he can speak two languages that sound like you're clearing your throat after a fishbone hit it. Or is it three... Do you know Arabic on top of Hebrew and Dutch? /me makes a run for it before she gets spanked Hawt Swedish-speaking blonde 07:56, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

4chan talk

I tried restoring Talk:4chan because some anon user vandalized it. But I get a Spam protection filter saying I can't do it. Can you fix it please? :) Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 22:09, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Done, even though the bloody spam filter is beyond me. I just removed the problematic text (which wasn't essential to that page) ~Jewriken.GIF 22:21, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
Thanks! :) Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 22:32, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
I love the sound of swedish but could never quite get it right. An ex of mine was swedish (and blonde, surprisingly) and he tried to teach me a bit but every word I tied I would mangle the pronounciation. I think that the Australian accent and Swedish just don't mix. Pup
Good thing you're putting this in the wrong conversation O_O ~Jewriken.GIF 12:20, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
I put it in the right place. The problem is that I'm a genous and think so much faster than you that I can see the logical link between 4chan and spam filters and Swedish with an Australian accent. I just don't know if I can dumb it down enough for you mere mortals to understand. Pup
And I did spell that right. I was using the Middle French spelling of genius, due to the subtle change in definition. Pup

Are you online?

We really need you to block someone. Like, now. And you edited recently and there's no admins in IRC. --Andorin Kato 10:45, November 8, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry. But I saw that Modus took care of him. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:13, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
Yup, I saw. It's no problem... I was just trying to raise someone (I posted on his page, too) in the only manner I thought possible. --Andorin Kato 11:14, November 8, 2009 (UTC)

אני צריך לתפוס זיון.

או משהו. לפחות אני שיכור... 16:02, November 8, 2009 (UTC)

You're also, apparently. male. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:00, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
Hey, I can't read Hebrew, so what can I do if Google defaults to male grammar! D: You can always get over here and verify my gender, but you'd have to know where "here" is, first... -- DameViktoria Heart_anim.gif Icons-flag-gb - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:12, 8 Nov

when you judged my untweet

you said that i didn't fully exploit its potential, etc. now that improvements have been done, i want you read it again and give me some feedback.. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 16:57, November 8, 2009 (UTC)

Well, it's definitely better now that he sounds like Osama rather than a teenage girl, but I'm still missing something. Problem is I don't know what. I'll sleep on it, maybe I'll come with an idea. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:19, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
I'll be waiting.. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:24, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
Good morning, overlord. Any idea's for the tweet? Also, wtf man! Why don't you lets us, mortals, have our fun? FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 08:56, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
Not with page moves, that creates horrible mess. Still nothing. I'm still banging my head on the wall though. Maybe something will come out other than bruises. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:58, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
Something like a For vote? Maybe, who knows? FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 09:07, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
Technically, how many for votes do I need to get an article with 3 against votes to be featured? FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 13:27, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Usually if the total votes are in the double digit you'll do OK. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:10, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

SpANKIN!

WHAR?!

HUGGLY WANTS SUM, TOO!

*slobbers* The preceding unsigned comment was added by a girlie cuddly cutiepie ban addict (talk • contribs) who is definitely not Luvvy

Thanks!

ROAK BAND

I did the audio for it. Could you take a listen and tell me just how awful my German accent is? =D Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 02:39, Nov 10 2009

I am thinking of recording the first section of the article, myself, to teach you kids how english with a german accent should sound like... :) FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 10:46, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Necro, other than the fact that your German accent is the worst thing I ever heard, I love it. It's excellent! Thanks for that. Also, Moosh, I don't believe you need to teach me about German accent. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:16, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Well, I know your German accent is wunderbar, Mordillo.. I was talking to Negropaxx. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 12:26, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Don't blame me, I'm just a merkin; I don't know wie Deutsch zu sprechen. Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 04:38, Nov 11 2009
Ich bin ein Hamburger. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 06:20, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
Gott sei Dank für Google Übersetzer. Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 06:25, Nov 11 2009
Actually, google translator fucks up the grammar and structure of the sentence really good. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 06:34, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
Truth be told, I'm actually using translate.reference.com's translator. :/ Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:37, Nov 11 2009

Here's a little irony for you

Right when you blocked me for an hour for gloating (which I deserved), I was trying to make a post here. My post was about how innocent users can get blocked, even indefinitely, which happened to someone I know well (on another site). Then as I was trying to post it, I got a message that I was blocked. Weird coincidence, or are you admins mindreaders or something? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 00:56, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Definitely mind readers. ~Jewriken.GIF 01:04, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

you kicked me from irc

Sorry, I must have misinterpreted you. I thought you meant bring the conversation off Luvvy and onto the image, which is what we were supposed to be talking about. Sorry... /scratches head in confusion. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 01:02, Nov 12 2009

Dude, just rejoin. It was a joke kick. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN01:03, 12 Nov
Jesus, where have you gone to? Rejoin immediately or I'll kick you again. ~Jewriken.GIF 01:04, November 12, 2009 (UTC)
oh, ok. /smacks head Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 01:05, Nov 12 2009

The World's most powerful people

This study...thingie lists the most powerful people. Half of them are Jews. The other half are Arabs that want to kill the Jews. This is why we can't have world peace. QED. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 07:01, Nov 12 2009

Oh, I get it, joke. They're mostly Caucasian males. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:31, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Worshipper of Sophia

I recall having seen something about monks and nuns or some such for Goddess Sophia. I remember it said you could use a symbol in your user name, which I think is what you use. Can you or anyone who happens to wander by tell me where that page is? Thanks. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:05, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Nevermind; I found it right before I posted the above, making this section completely useless. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:05, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

I am now Compassrose Father WHY??? (confessions)  21:44, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Better that than Rabbi Why. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:00, November 13, 2009 (UTC)
So if I became a Rabbi, you'd feel verklempt? Compassrose Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  16:24, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
I'll be so verklempt I'll be dancing in the streets. Naked. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:19, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
That sounds like a suitable ceremony. Compassrose Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  07:03, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

Lucy, I'm home.

And on an unrelated side note, are you serious? Talking about the feature queue validates a two-hours ban? FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 11:33, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

"First rule of the feature queue is - you don't talk about the feature queue". ~Jewriken.GIF 20:59, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

Which articles are you nominating for Foolitzer?

I wanted to double check... — H. Peebles - D - HS KUN Foolitzer Icons-flag-pi 21:17, November 14, 2009 (UTC)

Unless I've gone senile, which is quite possible, you nominate writers for the Foolitzer. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:55, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
Damnit!! My trick question was too easily seen through! I knew it, I am slowly becoming--Evil-not-so-genius! — H. Peebles - D - HS KUN Foolitzer Icons-flag-pi 18:55, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
You need to torture small kids and puppies for a week, then try again. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:59, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Hey, can I get simple rollback? I was admin on Polish Nonsensopedia till I resigned due to idiocracy bewtwwen other admins :P :P PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 23:53, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

Simple rollback as opposed to complex rollback? O_O Appreciate the fact that you were an admin there, but I'd rather you become a bit more experienced in Uncyclopedia before we talk rollback. Also, I haven't seen you actually involved in any maintenance activities. Let's talk again in the near future? ~Jewriken.GIF 19:56, November 16, 2009 (UTC)
ok. PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 21:10, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

Administrator Mordillo

Could I bend your ear on IRC for a moment? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:40, 18 Nov

Ahhh! SECRET JEWISH MEETING! The Illuminati... it does exist! Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 17:46, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
DID YOU JUST CALL ME A JEW???!!?!??!!!?!?! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:48, 18 Nov
I have it on good authority from my teabagger friends that you are a secret Jew. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 17:49, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
Hahaha. You said teabagger. Anyways, I think 'Dillo's gone. So how have you been Hype? Still got that rash? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:51, 18 Nov
I'm always here, watching, waiting, preparing latkes. And it's Mister administrator Mordillo to you. I'm a bit busy at the moment, are you around in a couple of hours? ~Jewriken.GIF 18:24, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
Probably. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN18:26, 18 Nov
Will you be wearing a dress? ~Jewriken.GIF 18:28, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
And your favorite stockings! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN18:31, 18 Nov

No feature article today

Please forgive me for continually asking you questions, but I'm trying to learn how things work. I noticed there's no feature article for today, but there is one for tomorrow. Just curious if there's a reason for this, or if some code demon ate some essential code or something. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:55, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, the feature queue gets borked sometimes, fixed now. Thanks for letting me know. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:22, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
You banned me for two fucking hours for saying the same fucking shit to modus! FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 11:28, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
The difference was that last night I put an article for today and there was a technical problem which I didn't notice, and when you did that it was a "MY FUCKING ARTICLE IS THE NEXT TO BE FEATURED AND NO ONE FEATURED IT" thingy. Also, penis. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:30, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
No, it was the same. The FQ's tomorrow column had an article and the today column was empty, so I told modus about it, WITHOUT mentioning my fucking article. Also, boobs. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 13:44, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
No, it wasn't the same. Because Modus didn't put anything in the queue. I put an article in the queue for today it was bumped for tomorrow, it's an ongoing problem with the queue that eventually I'll ask Spang to fix. Also, Muhammad. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:18, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
No, it's the same. Also, Muhammad is my first name, so, what do you want? FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 15:45, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
اذهب بعيدا لانني على وشك حظر مؤخرتك ~Jewriken.GIF 15:52, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
حسنا. احظر مؤخرتي. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 16:15, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
Also, did you translate from English to Arabic or from Hebrew to Arabic? FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 16:21, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
English. I wonder if it will work better from Hebrew though. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:39, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
I guess it would. FreddThe Redd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:02, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Little question

So when should I use an Oh Dear and when should I leave it open? Just checking. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:52, 19 November 2009

I think when it's obvious that the offender (offendee?) is about to get his ass banned for a long time you can skip the Oh Dear. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:54, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
Ah. Okay. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:57, 19 November 2009

Can't log in to Uncyclopedia

Here I am again, the guy who brings trouble. I noticed the log in screen changed very recently, maybe yesterday or the day before. I had to try logging in twice today before I could, then it suddenly logged me out. When I tried logging in again, it gave me a message saying I was now logged out. I did that about four times before I could post this message. Also another user hasn't been able to log in at all (I forgot to ask what browser they're using; I had a problem using Internet Explorer 8, but I'll try another browser and see if it does the same thing). Could you fix it or know someone who could? I posted this for Sannse too so that whichever one of you is one first can check it. Thanks for your patience. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 22:58, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

I just tried Firefox and ran into the same problem, got suddenly logged out then had a hard time logging back in. I think there's something wrong with the new sign in screen. You may have other users who can't log in at all; I know of at least one. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 23:09, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

I'm afraid this is generally something I can't help you with, only sannse can. The only thing I can suggest is that your clear your cache and delete all cookies and try again. However, if you tried it with multiple browsers, it's probably something from Wikia's side.

On an unrelated note I need to clarify something. I never had a problem with you asking questions and having problems. I had an issue with you lecturing me and/or commenting on "the sewer that is Uncyclopedia". That's all. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:16, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Hopefully Sannse will see the note soon. I've since talked to someone else who is having the same problem. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:26, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
How about Uncyclopedia has a sewer with some really nice condos over it? I just meant that to me most of what I've found on this site is crap, but I also think some of it's great. I appreciate that some people are willing to work on cleaning up the site without getting paid to do it. Happy editing! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:24, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
Whatever floats your boat. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:28, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Thinking of sunnier climes than Northern Europe...

Have you ever been to Haifa? If so, what did you think of it? I'm thinking of taking the missus on a surprise holiday there early in 2010. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 15:10, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

My missus is from Haifa, so I basically have family there. But why Haifa out of all the other places? ~Jewriken.GIF 15:18, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
It just looks rather pleasant and has a lot of art galleries. I thought about Eilat, partially because you can get flights there from the UK for not much at all and because of a headmistress I had at school who went there,trod on some sort of venomous spiky fish and died as a result. I'd like to find that fish and buy it a drink, but the Eilat weather might be 40 C or so warmer than I can handle. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 15:25, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
It is rather pleasant but it gets boring after a couple of days. Not a lot to do there (and the misus will probably disagree).

With regards to Eilat, it's not that hot early in the year, it's worse in June-September, but January-April it's quite pleasent and it's beautiful. Tel Aviv is certainly the fun capital of the country, just voted number ten in time out's top fun cities in the world. Loads of art, old parts, great food and parties all around. And a beach (even though Haifa and Eilat got that as well). There are other places as well. How long do you have and what's the planned budged? Also, look at eyeonisrael.com - great site ~Jewriken.GIF 18:48, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Maybe I'll think again about Eilat in that case, because I really do want to shake that fish by the ha...er, fin - though my idea of "too hot" is anything above 5 C. I suppose a few days in Haifa (the missus is a fan of the Mediterranean lifestyle so she'd enjoy it) then travelling to Tel Aviv is an option too - we'll just have to wait and see what happens, because at the present time I'm not too sure what we have re. time and money. Thanks for the eyeonisrael site - hadn't seen that one and it is indeed a good 'un. While I'm about, it seems we have inadvertently changed the world - Kosher Nostra has been inspiring people. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 09:57, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
That's hilarious! I think I'll put it on the Kosher Nostra article :). With regards to Haifa, that's not really the Mediterranean style, you're definitely looking for Tel Aviv. Haifa have their own style really. To do a quick list:

Haifa: relaxed, quite, have a world heritage center - the Baha'i Gardens, very very good middle eastern food, reasonable night life and gateway to travel the north of the country. Also, very mountainous (the misus didn't know how to ride bikes until she was quite old since they don't do bike over there. too steep).

Tel Aviv: party town, noisy, tons of everything 24/7. Gourmet food (and I do mean gourmet, they have some of the best restaurants I've been to), great beach, world heritage center (the "white city" - biggest concentration of Bauhaus buildings in the world), tons of museums. Tel Aviv would be more expensive than Haifa though.

Eilat in January, btw, would be around 15-20 degrees. Really nice and dry during that time of the year. Anyway, when you have more specific details I can give you loads of recommendations. We're going to be there, btw, from December 17th until the 30th. Last but not least - I might be in London next week. You're in the area? ~Jewriken.GIF 10:15, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

Ooh yes, I forgot the Bauhaus buildings - I'm a big fan of those; but I think Mrs. Rabbi would find them tedious as she's more the Tudor-cottage-with-roses-round-the-door type. The restaurants sound good too...in fact, I think you may have persuaded me. In saying that, good Middle Eastern food in Haifa is tempting too, not least of all because she'd be happy surviving on falafel and hummus alone. On the other hand, Eilat sounds good for the Timna Valley (me being an archaeologist and all). Hmm. What chance would we have of getting to all three in, say, a week and a half? I'd quite like to get to Jerusalem too, just so I can reply to all those people who tell me that I should go to the Kotel that I have and they'll stop nagging me. I think I'll leave a few brochures around the apartment and stealthily make notes of what she seems interested in and then make further plans.

Not sure if I could make it to London next week as I'm a bit short on cash at the moment (redundancy money from last job has run out so really need to find a new one soon!) but let me know when and if you're there and I'll see what I can do. Which reminds me - was going to meet up with Olipro last week but forgot all about it. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:24, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

Well, you know that Israel is one big archeology site, you don't need to go to Timna to see that. You have it everywhere. Just note which culture you want to visit :). There's even an underwater archeology park in Ceserea, which is about 40 minutes north of Tel Aviv. You can certainly do them all in ten days, that's the good thing about being a small country. Driving times are aprox - Haifa-Tel Aviv less than an hour, Tel Aviv to Jeruslaem, about an hour, Tel Aviv to Eilat about 4 hours. I think 2 nights in Haifa, 2 nights in Jerusalem, 3 nights in Tel Aviv and 3 nights in Eilat would be good. Also, don't forget the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee :) ~Jewriken.GIF 13:43, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
That's true of everywhere on Earth, I suppose, but I'd rather like to see the Shrine of Hathor and the reconstructed Tabernacle. King Solomon's Pillars would be of interest too because I have a bit of an amateur interest in geology. Neither of us drive, but I hear the bus routes are good up and down the West coast (well, except for Gaza I suppose) and across the Negev. Hmm - could be a fun tour, and it ought to be simple to arrange flights from here to Haifa and from Eilat back home again. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:57, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, transportation won't be a problem. There are bus connections everywhere, there's an express train between Haifa and Tel Aviv and there are flights between Tel Aviv and Eilat. Whenever you're getting serious on planning I'll give you all sorts of tips :0) ~Jewriken.GIF 14:02, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
Excellent - you'll be my first port of call for advice. People say you can never trust anyone online, but choosing someone you've never met IRL over a travel agent is undoubtedly one example where you're probably better off doing so. Now - do you want some tips on places to visit in London? To be honest, it's a matter of choosing the least shit places IMO; polluted, over-crowded, filthy, noisy dump that it is. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:08, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

Mordillydandoo

hummmmm? -- sannse@Wikia (talk) 23:52, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

You got the right one.

I'm pretty sure 65.244.166.2 is the right guy to ban. That's how this guy operates: when he's not being "not even wrong" in his additions to articles, he makes a bunch of pointless edits like changing one template to a similar one or rearranging the categories at the bottom of the page. He also likes to pretend his sockpuppets aren't paper-thin. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 19:43, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

That might be, but he seemed to reverted the previous ones. I'll keep an eye. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:45, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
Suit yourself. Now shall I list every one of Wikipediastinks's articles on QVFD or will you ban him and delete them without the intermediate step? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 19:51, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
I burned down his house and killed his pet dog. I hope you're happy. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:43, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
You're such a savage barbarian. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 20:11, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

I am here to complain!

Is this the correct office for that sort of thing? Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 01:05, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

No, this is the bureau for the protection of the free world. ~Jewriken.GIF 01:06, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this page was run by some Jewish guy. My mistake. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 01:16, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
There's always Uncyclopedia:Complaints Department. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 20:11, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

I am here about the protection of the free world!

I was told by some guy that this was the place to be. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 01:16, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

Yes please? ~Jewriken.GIF 01:20, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
I heard the free world is in danger from that Jewish guy over in the Complaints department. Are you going to do something about this, or is your administration going to sit back and let it happen....AGAIN... Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 01:23, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
We'll probably blame that other guy. ~Jewriken.GIF 01:27, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
All your administration does is blame that other guy. Meanwhile, the real evil guy is right in front of you, ruining the world this way and that. I heard he was egging the Johnson's house just a fortnight ago. How dare you sit back and refuse to do something about that guy. Your administration will get it one day, do you hear me? Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 01:32, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

Give it back!

Nigga stole my bike! I tell to police!--W8G7B 17:16, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

What do you want, other than to annoy me? ~Jewriken.GIF 20:03, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
If he's not going to answer you, I'm fully prepared to demand a new pair of jeans on his behalf. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:08, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

About the game, and teh end of the world and such

Hi grandad, I'm back from Warsaw if you want to chat a bit later this evening about those last week's ideas. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 18:51, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Can you give me the link again? ~Jewriken.GIF 20:06, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
Here. The idea on the page is the first model that came to my mind but I think you can easily see other similar ideas for different kinds of articles. Could be fit in with Collaboratory when that gets slapped together the way we imagined it might be. The other idea was those vague thoughts MrN9k and I had about said lab; they could be improved by some col I'm pretty sure. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 05:49, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Also, Polterfuckingeist

Where the hell does the page Multiliteralist/Megaloscope2 disappear for most of the time? I only sometimes can locate it on my watchlist, and at times I'm not sure I haven't thrown it away. Pity since it's the better version. Also, now I'm not sure I'm even here because of my head being messed by the beings from the other Univers(ity)e. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 08:31, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Yyyym

Well, ye, I asked Pippo to nominate me just because it was no other nominated people. But well... now I'm banned from Polish Nonsensopedia for a year. And well, I was best writer on Polish Nonsensopedia. After I quitted (ban was for my request :P) they have nearly no new articles. Maybe Pippo told to other sysops to support me here to make me get back to Nonsensopedia? I have no idea. Pippo is my friend, yes. but others... I don't know.

And check that Michael Holding has not been nominated by a Pole, but by Uncyclopedia admin.

Well.. nomination for empty award isn't so big deal. but my VFH for Holding is normal, and well, I do not have contact with other sysop than Pippo. And I didn't ask him to ask other guys to come here and vote... PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 19:16, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

FP is hardly an empty award, it's the second important writing related prize around here. The fact that no one was nominated for this month, means it's OK to rig it. As for nonsenpedia, as I said in the past, I have no idea what's happening there nor it is relevant for Uncyclopedia. Just told you how things look like at this moment. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:00, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
Well.. you can always vote for someone else or something... there was long month before awarding prize, so don't worry man. PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 20:23, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
You are not following me, I'm not worried. I'm feeling uncomfortable with your conduct. ~Jewriken.GIF 23:25, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
And I say -> I didn't ask any other Polish guys to come here and vote (except Pippo) :P PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 21:43, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Main Page

I love it. I was trying to work out how you were going to do it. Brilliant work! Pup

Was very difficult really, I copied your code and pasted it O_O ~Jewriken.GIF 19:26, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

May I ask why

You may not know why I made User:Necropaxx/HowTo:Fish a redirect, and I'll explain why. When I first started here, I was looking through PLS for one of the articles that was on a user page and couldn't find it. Eventually, I found that the sub user page was huffed because it was a double redirect (which is the same thing that happened in this case). I talked to a few people including an admin (sorry, don't remember which one) about making it a redirect so that people like me could find a PLS article when they looked through the history. It took me over an hour to do all that, but I got support (or, in one case, go ahead I don't care), and the redirect is still there after a couple months. I really think it would be helpful to some user who, like me, is looking through the PLS history or winners and can't find the article if User:Necropaxx/HowTo:Fish redirected to UnBooks:Gone Fishing. Also I posted a note on Necropaxx' talk page letting him know I had done it and why. Thanks for your consideration. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 22:40, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Err, you might have noticed that following your explanation to Necro I actually fixed the redirect on the PLS main page, therfore making your redirect unnecessary. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:44, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
Hey, thanks and stuff! Although is it still listed the old way on the page that gives the voting details? But I suppose that doesn't matter much. Thanks again! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 22:51, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

You beat me by seconds

Article: Insert article title here, without link Score: 1
Nomination 12.77.178.232 22:33, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
For Votes: 1
  1. Symbol for vote For. Spectacular article. The depth of wit and intelligence shown in this submission simply blows me away. I love the juxtaposition of sexuality and excretia, leaving the reader wondering not only about the intelligence of the writer but also their sexual appetites. I feel that all of my works to date have simply been a mere whisper of a shadow against the intellectual and satirical might of the writer. Pup
Against Votes: 0 may you fuck my huge cock then fuck my shit tits ass fucker dick

FA template

Don't subst it or the world could literally explode. There are instructions on the template page on how to make it say different things. Spang talk 10:38, 26 Nov 2009

What's the problem then? ~Jewriken.GIF 10:47, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
Various feature related pages use that template to get the date and stuff, and they can't use it if it's not there. Being substed counts as it not being there, see, because it's just the code, not the template. Which is why it has to be the template, not just the code inside the template. See. Spang talk 03:59, 27 Nov 2009
So essentially what you said in the first place, it's the end of the world. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:45, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
Quite! Spang talk 03:28, 28 Nov 2009

Modillo

YOU ARE A FAGGOT!!!!!!! --Crybaby 22:19, November 26, 2009 (UTC)~

Indeed I am. And my wife agrees. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:45, November 27, 2009 (UTC)

THINKER

I deleted my cache...still not seeing an Aristocrats banner on the mainpage? Point me in the right direction if I'm missing something.. --THINKER 08:01, November 27, 2009 (UTC)

It's currently a site notice. I'll move it to the main page. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:45, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
Hm...wonder why I didn't see it as a site notice? Maybe my script blocker? --THINKER 05:58, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
MAYBE YOU'RE JUST TOO GOOD FOR THE SITE NOTICE EH?! ~Jewriken.GIF 08:56, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
MAYBE I AM EH?! Also, this isn't my conversation. Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 09:01, Nov 28 2009
Ah, yes that would be the logical answer.. --THINKER 03:42, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia goes legal

Hi grandfather - Zana Dark and I established Uncyclopedia Legal Department (UnLeDe or something like that) today. Want to join? You can choose your title. RabbiTechno is in. It requires no action - just let us know you're in and we'll add your name to the member list. The good Rabbi was suggesting you and Kakun since then we would have a Bet Dein Jewish court.

My initial idea was, and is, to just improve bad articles by slapping a template on them - a legal template that picks something in the article and raises it as a point of legalistic discussion. It doesn't seem to do much but there is joke potential (I hate rewriting but I guess a little joke on the side is better than just a bad article - also if there's something fun attached to the article people might get inspired by it a bit).The templates can also be used as warnings and so forth - and of course the dept. can do other things, being the ultimate legal power around - barring the, you know, nonexistent thingy. I'm in chat now if you have some ideas or want to check out I've not just flipped. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 11:37, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Sounds like fun, but we need to keep that in the joking area rather than change it into a proper maintenance templates that we use already. Do you have a link for me? ~Jewriken.GIF 13:36, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
OK, I'll let the others know about that one. Nothing's up yet - the page is under construction in Zana Dark's sandbox (Just a moment). I was also thinking of it more as an addition to a bad article rather than a maintenance template. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 13:53, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
Klink: User:Zana_Dark/sandbox -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 13:57, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
I thought the same thing when Multi told me about it on IRC - it needs to be made clear that this is neither a replacement nor an alternative to ICU etc. We already know that, but it needs to be clear for new users. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:05, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
BTW, why not perform mock trials on top of the templates? Uncyclopedia vs. God? Uncyclopedia vs. Wikia? Uncyclopedia vs. Cajek? ~Jewriken.GIF 20:14, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
Looks like a good idea - eggsplain a bit though, please. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 06:32, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

VFD Procedure

Your recent decree regarding VFD--Don't nominate unless you also vote Delete--should be added to the documentation of VFD. (My personal opinion--now apparently moot--is that the question of whether one thinks an article should be voted on should be separate from how one would vote on it; I aired ATI to see whether people thought it was of general interest; not being a customer, my belief that it was an in-joke didn't rise to wanting to delete the article. But Nom and Keep is more problematic, as though the nominator just wanted to get stroked for his article, which should not happen via VFD.)

Another thing that might be clarified is dispositions of an article. Additional outcomes to Keep and Delete are: (1) Huff it, in view of a ready replacement article, and (2) Keep it but apply a different version as a change to it (differs from #1 in retaining the change history). For example, it's clear what voters want to happen to Mustaches of Legend--but not because we all voted that way. Other outcomes, such as Combine with an existing article or Redirect to an existing article, are problematic because we essentially vote on whether we like an article, followed by a touchy-feely process, or one guy's suggestion, regarding what to do about the consensus opinion. Spıke ¬  18:09 1-Dec-09

Spike, you were a Wikipedian right? This isn't an insult by the way, just a question. I get the feeling you were editing there for a while because you seem to be taking the their approach of - everything has to be documented and set in stone. It works well for them, but it doesn't work for us. In fact, the approach we always had is - the less rules the better. To the two written rules you can add one unwritten one - use common sense. And so, I don't feel I need to add anything to VFD rules as with you it was the first time an instance like that was encountered. With Syndrome, it's quite obvious he's taken the piss. Which is fine, that's what we do everyday, I just wanted to stop it there and then.
Other than that, the main reason I don't think the approach of "nom and you think about it" is that VFD is not a test balloon area. There are 25,000 articles in Uncyclopedia. If you think one is worthy of deletion, nom it, vote for it. If you don't think it is - don't. You'll be taking space in VFD and taking the time of the people who are taking the time to read the nominations. \
As with the outcomes - again, I don't feel there is a need to complicate the process further. If it's deleted - it's deleted. Anyone wants to revive or to rewrite in his space and time, he's welcomed to talk with any admin and he'll get it. If it's kept, it's kept. You'll notice that a lot of what you mentioned (merging, rewriting, revering to previous versions) is usually happening spontanoiusly as part of the VFD process. So once more, I don't think it's necessary to complicate the the process further.
Simplicity, common sense and free beer. This is normally our approach. Except for the free beer, that's normally costs money. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:53, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
OK, fine. MrN has also discussed the preference for informality, and I'm okay with that. Yes, I was a Wikipedian--but was a stickler for clarity before that (It's what I do on the job). And a beer drinker before that. Spıke ¬  19:18 1-Dec-09
Beer it is then. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:25, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
BTW, "on the job" gives me memories from "Hill Street Blues". ~Jewriken.GIF 19:26, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
Let's be careful out there. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN18:27, 2 Dec

Having slept on it...Ignore (as you have) my ruminations above about how delightfully formal the process could be, and please return to my original point. In fact, you did lay down a law--No more Nom and Keep or Nom and Abstain--and I'd like to see it written down somewhere other than an archived VFD. I might forget, and many other people in the business of writing cleverly and provocatively might forget, and you should be spared the drama of having to ban us for insubordination. Spıke ¬  13:25 2-Dec-09

That may be, but the common sense point still takes. This is the first time in over three years I've been around I've seen such an instance and I don't feel we need a rule to cover this. If you forget, we'll remind you. And we don't ban people that fast. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:46, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
Some argue that VFD has too many rules already. Some further argue that you do indeed ban people that fast. April 9th is the biannual Block Syndrome for Some Petty Reason and then Leave Sort of Patronizing Unblock Message Day. Now, while I may not be the first to nom and keep, I do believe there is a practical reason for it. It's like a vaccine. Introduce your article to VFD under conditions where you know it will be kept, then later in the future when standards are higher, it will be hard for someone to come back and delete it because it's already been exposed to VFD and the result was keep. I think that if I saw anyone actually nominating an article with that in mind, though, I'd shoot them. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 15:40, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
Syndrome, go away. Or take an aspirin, imagine me in a bikini and then go away. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:43, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
So I either leave with a headache or I leave blinded. Wonderful. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:49, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
Why choose when you can have both? ~Jewriken.GIF 22:50, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Ahem..

And a super special thanks for the nom. :X

Congratulations
You have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness!
[[{|]] [[|}]]


ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION You're welcome! ~Jewriken.GIF 18:54, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Question

There's a slight chance I'll have half an hour to spare to throw something together this afternoon, and was going to run up a little something for the turkey day ball, but I need to know first if this sounds too bad taste: "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here (1944 TV show)", with a bunch of fictitious Jewish celebs in a German "Reality TV show" made during the war, to cheer up the German public, all performing hilarious stunts for the pleasure of said viewing public, trying to win the popular vote and be allowed to take a refreshing shower and leave the camp... Acceptable bad taste, or too much? --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:23, Dec 2

Nothing is unacceptable as long as it's not a nude picture of Olipro thanks for asking though! ~Jewriken.GIF 12:31, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
Thanks. It's done. I can't decide if I feel proud or dirty. --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:07, Dec 2
I thought we were going for best article that is in bad taste. I wish my taste was as bad as UU's. Pup
Your tastes are as bad as UU's. You taste like used gym socks. Take a shower, man, you smell. CthulhuPh'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!Cthulhu 00:19, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Lies

I tried using the move function to move "Xbox" to the more accurate Title "Xbox 360" and it wouldn't let me do it. I hope this wasn't a joke on your part to make fun of my retardedness. --Matfen 17:53, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

That's because you tried to move an article onto an another existing article. Since you can't delete articles, you can't perform that move either. I did that for you. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:44, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
Muchas gracias, Mordillo. You are truly the keeper of God's more mentally slow children. thnx again. --Matfen 19:29, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
De nada. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:36, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

Here's your template

Black Frontpage Writer of the Month, Oct 09
Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:00, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

That's going on my wall of fame, next to the moosehead and UU's panties. ~Jewriken.GIF 00:07, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
The giant granny panties or the soiled tighty whities? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:49, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
The iridescent purple latex posing pouch. That you gave me last christmas. You're always so thoughtful. Also, forgetful. --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:38, Dec 3
Oh. That was a regifting. My manparts run free. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:52, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Legal complications galore

Here's what I sporked and mangled. It's going to be the disagreement form by which we will all be subpoenaed to the fullest extent of any and all ... uh, lost the thread. But serious and legal stuff. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 09:33, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Also, please have a look (if you respect statute 17, paragraph 38) at Category:UnLegal (don't know how to link categories sorry) for articles where I've used the template and which way. This talk page message is part of the proceedings of the Uncyclopedia Legal Department. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 10:33, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Ban this guy again

130.156.65.229, he is the same guy who was blanking RAHB's page, apparently he is cool enough to get access to another computer to blank Socky's too. Recognise, he runs uncyc, or so I heard. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:50, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Waaaay ahead of you. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:52, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
That wasn't my talkpage. O.o Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:58, 3 December 2009
He's on IRC now, no idea what's going on, calling himself GerryCheeversSig. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:54, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
Can you kick him? He is spamming the channel. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:55, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
Sorry for taking so long, as I'm at work I can only work via the web access, and it's shite. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:04, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
Don't worry about it, he was clearly a most confused individual. --ChiefjusticeDS 17:06, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

More and more legal

You asked somewhere if the templates could be used to do something (cases such-and-such against so-and-so)... I lost the message or something else happened - want to chat about it later today or some other? -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 12:28, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

My Username

For the record, my username is from an interactive webcomic called Lunar Hill which finished... twice.. and started again... twice. One of the commands was "Reverse Genocide Cockatrices". To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what it means, but things obviously happened.

It turns out the person who wrote the command was Kalir. --Reverse Genocide Cockatrices 12:56, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Blame NetHack. Ж Kalir where's my house? 00:20, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

Dude

why would you erase the opfor article i made?

Because it seems to be a vanity article made about a group of COD players? Was I mistaken? ~Jewriken.GIF 11:12, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

Well, if by group of palyers you meant a clan or real people then its not. Although it may be vanity :P. Doesn't matter leave it like it is.

For your convenience

My response to the Construction-ICU discussion is here. I do want to say here, though, that ICU says 'Sometimes pages that are in the process of being worked on get tagged accidentally by users who don't see that the page is still under construction. If this happens to you, just remove the tag with the edit summary "Still Under Construction".' This page was just being created by a new user who had not been welcomed and I imagine didn't know about the Construction tag, so I removed the ICU tag and added Construction as per the ICU article. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:48, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

Responded at that location. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:12, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

Granddad

Hi there, old man! It's the Independence Day of Finland now, you know, to commemorate how we beat the USSR (and probably all of the Eastern Bloc) in the Second World War Two. To jubilate the occasion a bit, could you please meet me in chat some time during the day? It's not very important so if you're busy, no big deal. Leave a message somewhere you suspect I might be monitoring and tell me when, approx. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 09:43, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

Not sure what's my agenda for today. When are you planning to be around on IRC? ~Jewriken.GIF 11:11, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
Right now for instance, probably a couple of hours and then quit, to come back later when it's evening here. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 11:37, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
All right - please see Ian Brown to see how it would work. I tested it in my userspace first and also maybe to construct the legalese a bit further. So then - I suppose there won't be a "SHORT ARTICLE!!!!" -problem since the legalese will all be subpages to the Legal Department main page. Also, Zana hasn't yet fixed the template so that it won't put the articles in UnLegal category any more - I asked her to wait, gonna ask her to do it whenever she can. Also, the templates to be slapped on articles and talk pages & so forth will be different than the default one now on the articles - I don't know which way she'll like to do it. This is straight now, isn't it, right after the non-UnLegal articles have been cleared off the category? -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 16:06, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

Cheers!

UnLegal
YOUR REGISTRATION WAS SUCCESSFUL
In accordance with the Uncyclopedia Legal Department, I hereby verify your membership. You are now legally official and stuff.  22:58, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

MORDILLO!

Good afternoon, my fine friend, I hope the run-up to Hanukkah or however you spell it is going well in the Dillo household! I have nothing constructive to say, I just wanted to say good afternoon without banning you for once. Oh, and how are things? (I'm not properly back yet, by the way, just dropping in when I get time now and then). --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:49, Dec 7

Same old same old. Always on watch on the crap floodgates (the crapgates?) while trying not to go insane with the amount of work I have (as everyone seem to remember suddenly there's something that just HAVE to be finished by the end of the year). But! There's a light in the end of the tunnel, and no, it's not a train coming to run me over, it's vacation! I'm going home for two weeks next Thursday. So, good food, friends and sun. I haven't seen the sun in MONTHS! :)

How is the new house? ~Jewriken.GIF 13:54, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

The house? A few minor teething troubles - nearly had the gas supply for the entire close shut down due to a suspected gas leak, which would have made us popular with the new neighbours! And I still have no internet at home, which as much as anything else is why I'm not on here much - can't do any work at home, and have to cram it all in to office hours. As we work with retailers, everything is vital around christmas, so it's non-stop emergency priority until we close the office for the holidays. The good news is we just got an extra 2 days, so I only have 9 more days at work this year, which is something to look forward to!
I still drop in here whenever I get time, banning a 'tard here, deleting something there, but hopefully I'll be back in full effect in the next week or two. How's Mordillia? --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:04, Dec 7

Richt

Please check out Ian Brown to see if this is more like it. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 15:22, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

Much much better. The border of the template is a bit weird, but that's a personal taste issue really. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:06, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

::Idea is it looks like a legal document, nothing about taste there. Glad you like it better now anyway. Keep it legal. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 07:03, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

I had another look - yeah gotta ask Zana to change it back to look like it was before, with that blue border. Thanks. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 07:04, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

Killer trainer 2

I concur with your comment on BP. Socky left a note on his talk page about proper coding just after he laid waste to the Infobox in USSR. I merely replied to his comment on Talk:Barack Obama. He doesn't quite merit banning, but has deficiencies in the departments of coding, relevance, and humor; and the superlatives on his user page suggest to me that he doesn't realize it. Spıke ¬  21:43 7-Dec-09

That certainly seems the case, but if we ban everyone with bad humor we won't have anyone left to talk with. Usually having a nice chat with them helps, and if not - I'm still here. BP should really be used as a last resort or against obvious vandals. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:48, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
Got it. Spıke ¬  22:01 7-Dec-09

Moreover

Below is what I suggested to Zana a minute ago. Who might want to be judge and jury? I realize some suggestible persons might take all that too seriously but... uh... I hope there aren't too many of those. For their own sake rather than mine.

What if we set up a legal affidavit template with some pre-rendered text? Tell me what you think of this and let's cook the text up together if you like it. There might be two: suggestion and complaint. Then we could start telling people that if they have reason to complain (careful not to do it with too stiff users though) they can turn to the Dept. for legal assistance. Then we could submit the case to someone who's willing to script the court case based on it. Might be more fun to others than trying to come up with laws and stuff. We would thereby set up some mock drama, it might even be healthy. Or sick. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 07:16, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

Isn't this your idea now that I think of it for a second - the mock trials? I just came up with a way to initiate them it seems.

-- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 07:24, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

NO U

I was thinking, we could have a self-hating series, since everybody hates themselves at the core. Something along the lines of Self-hating Jew. I thought you'd like to mull it over, weigh in, write something, or fart, as is your pleasure. Also, thanks for weighing in on my Welcome from Mahmoosha. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 23:15, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

Hi, Modus

  1. I apologize if it looked like I was trying to accuse you of some sort of Zionist conspiracy. I just wasn't careful with my wording.
  2. Assuming my adoptee gets off his lazy arse and actually finishes it, I'm having him do a reskin for Christmas. How plausible is this for the main page? Any feature planned for Christmas?
  3. Penis penis Penis penis penis penis Penis penis. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 07:10, December 9, 2009 (UTC)
Other than the fact that you called me Modus, no problem :). As for the reskin, nothing is planned as far as I know, let me know when it's finished and we can take a look. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:37, December 9, 2009 (UTC)
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