User talk:Mordillo/archive10

And now for something completely different. IT'S MORDILLO'S FLYING CIRCUS!

left

Genesis • Moar Genesis • Oh Hai Moses • Dis here is your commandments.• Study those well don't eat them • Dis here is my flaming chariot. • I said chariot, not carrot• ---->Attention accusing IP this is where you shall find the answer you seek<------- • The great Jewish war of the Hebrew Uncyclopedia

Stop that! You're being silly!

Please leave new messages at the bottom And when I say please I do ask for it nicely. No, seriously. If you'd like an article restored, please live a link with your complaint and a restoration fee of 12 Euros. No Dollars please. Nobody takes Dollars anymore. If you'd like to use profanities, please be original. If you'd like some more dildos, please hold the line, our representatives shall be with you shortly. If that's you calling, Yettie, I have your teddy bear in store for whenever you want to come and visit

---

THE GREAT TALK PAGE RAVAGING PARTY

It's me

I raepd your talk page. It was Cajek.   Le Cejak • <15:33, 27 May 2008>

DAMN RAPIST! you probably beat the rest of them by two seconds or so! ~ 15:34, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

You cannot deny my mad raping skillz.   Le Cejak • <15:34, 27 May 2008>

You are teh rapxxors! ~ 15:35, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

Damn it! I so wanted to rape this page...It would have been kinda cool, like raping your dad but different, ya know? Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 15:38 27 May

Hey, it's my teddy bear! Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 15:38 27 May

Wait I had that be- I just realized I am Mordillo's Uncyc Great grandchild :/ hows that for making you feel old :D --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:48, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

EEEP! Does that make me your Uncyc Auntie? /me feels old... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 06:03, 29 May

Yeh and I'm Cajek's uncle...he he. Neh neh, Cajek! Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 15:50 27 May

NO! NO IT CANNOT BE! NO! NO! HUH-UH! (good lord, Mordillo, you're OLD)   Le Cejak • <21:53, 27 May 2008>

I don't think he can hear you, he hasn't got his hearing trumpet out. Speak a little louder, dearie. - [21:55 27 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

*Looks around* Oooh... It's so spacy... *throws a wild party at Sabba's place while he looks elsewhere* On second thought... *leaves a hooker on Grandpa's bed, so he'll have something to comfort him when he sees the place has been trashed...* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:44, 27 May

Thanks...

...I came round at picked up Mike the teddy bear earlier, you were out so I just let myself in, I hope that's okay? I've put it in a a neat little cardboard box for the moment and cut some wholes in it so Mike doesn't suffocate. Thanks for putting him on the shelf there. - [20:03 27 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

/me looks at all the mess I cannot believe you had such a huge party when I was away! It's going to take me hours to clean that up! AND SOMEONE WAKE UP THE DRUNK HOOKER! LUVVY!!!!!! ~ 12:09, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Hey, what did you call me? - [12:44 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

/me silently points towards the drunk hooker on the bed, courtesy of Luvvy ~ 12:48, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Hey, you'll never believe what I found, dad! It's a drunk hooker, can we keep it, please? Please can we, dad? - [12:56 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

"Dad"? So does that make you my uncle, YTTE? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 06:03, 29 May

I'm not sure, does it? - [08:39 29 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Uncle! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:25, 29 May

If he's your uncle, than what would that make Cajek?! ~ 07:08, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

I'm Cajek's uncle too! So that makes you two cousins, doesn't it? - [10:44 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

However a frightening detail. I've got a nagging memory telling me that Daddy's mentioned Cajek is his dad. Wouldn't that be... Illegal? *swallows nervously...* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:24, 2 Jun

Actually, Cajek, being Leddy's son, is my grandson. ~ 07:19, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Well, you'll have to ask Luvvy about that, it's her hooker. ~ 13:00, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

/me shouts to Luvvy You still there, Luvvy? Can we keeo your drunk hooker, she's very nice and all. - [13:05 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

You may keep the hooker, if you first get her to wake up. She might look good dressed up as a French Maid and helping Sabba clean up the mess... ^.^ -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 06:03, 29 May

You know me so well Luvvy :O) Btw, I'm planning a weekend in Helsinki, any recommendations you may have regarding the local hookers and beer....~ 07:36, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

/me coughs... Sabba. I am officially not in Finland... Why does this always happen to me? You should ask my baby sister, she's the party gal. I'm always good and nice and cuddly... Right? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:25, 29 May

  Le Cejak • <7:25, 02 Jun 2008>

/me applauds Cajek. Now we should actually try make something out of it and expand to a whole new user group... ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 10:59, 2 Jun

So I'm DJ's great granfather? ~ 07:31, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

There's four generations of uncyc in this room! Does that mean we're poor, grampa Mordillo?   Le Cejak • <7:37, 02 Jun 2008>

Hell, I'm Jewish, I'm bound to be rich then. ~ 07:38, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Why do you keep having so many generations of offspring? is it because you like us mooching off of you? I like to think of you as the patriarch of this grand uncyc society.   Le Cejak • <7:42, 02 Jun 2008>

Don't tell the Fuhrer I've got Jewish ancestry, he doesn't take to kindly... do tell him I wear stockings on occasion - he likes that... also If I wins WotM it will be 4 generations of WotM :/ --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 07:44, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

yeah, but they didn't win in order: it's all fucked up! Also, this AAN ancestory is pretty detailed if I do say so myself... I didn't realize LJ is my uncle...   Le Cejak • <7:50, 02 Jun 2008>

I was going to do this image thing, Cajek, but you beat me too it! And why did you leave my three children off? Are you cutting them out of the family (and more importantly the assorted wills) or something?! - [15:22 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I never got adopted. I is Uncyc orphan. I does not wants adpooption - I is diong fine withouth it. Not beoing adopthed is for teh hardcorezors. Although it may explain why I has no frends. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:31, Jun 2

You really want adoption and friends, huh? I'll adopt you! - [15:34 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I does not want adopyshun - cant you reed? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:37, Jun 2

No, I can't read. Also, if the adoption thing's cool with you, I'll just go and make it official with all the userboxes and stuff. Then we can start your education, which may take a while considering your extreme-n00biness. - [15:40 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Erg, arg, your trying to shakle me to a sistem man - I aint gonna be part of no sistem! I play by my oan rulez! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:44, Jun 2

Sorry

about that IP's talk page. I was pissed off because he left an insulting message on my talk page, even though I've never even seen this guy before. * Flumpa 21:21, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

That's OK, just ignore it next time. They're not human beings anyhow :) ~ 12:09, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Woah

Looking for rather too long at that pic of that nice Mr Cleese, I realised something: that particular bit was filmed in Norwich. I live there and stuff! See that "Bell Hotel" behind him? That's one of the pubs I frequent. Christ knows why - it sucks. It's a small world, or something. I am therefore going to have to use that as one of the random images on my userpage. I just thought I'd mention it in passing. Anyway, there's nothing more to see here. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:50, May 28

Move along there. Oh, I was meaning to ask you if you're looking for additional work, what with your Smithing duties. ~ 12:52, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

What kind of additional work would this entail, good sir? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:01, May 28

Taking care of the HowTo main page. Sort of like updating the main page. I use to do that for a long while, but I don't get around to do it anymore, and it's a damn shame. ~ 13:30, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

*me jumps and down in the air* This sounds exciting... Since the HowTo main page doesn't appear to be protected I guess I could help out right...if UU can't, that is... *reconsiders* actually maybe not, that looks like a might lot of work. - [13:32 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Well, you can both go at it? It's basically - updating the featured one every few days, updating the tip of the day template and cropping out the list of new HowTos. ~ 13:34, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Okey dokey...I'm sure that HowTo:Be French has been there for ages. - [13:36 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yes, but let's wait to see UU's response? ~ 13:37, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Response coming as soon as you STOP EDIT CONFLICTING ME! Yeah, sure, doesn't look like a problem. I'll get right on it. YTTE, if you want to help, you're welcome. As you're a good one for the formatting and making stuff look interesting, how about I do the mundane maintenance, and you see if you can't make it look a bit more enticing? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:38, May 28

Ag! Edit conflict! I was going to say something really funny, but, meh...OK, I'll give it a little style-makeover, but I'll let you do the "mundane" stuff first so we don't edit conflict each other...unless it's all templated...which it is to an extent. I'll come back in a while to do the makeover (it may not be too excting a makeover, but "meh")... - [13:41 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

195.241.132.182

ha, Mordillo... you rock!   Le Cejak • <16:00, 28 May 2008>

Yeah, sorry for getting you blocked for a month, I did ask Greyman to remove it...~ 16:54, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press. Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek Letters to the Editor I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us. I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.

Check out these pages! A Horrible Vision of the Future A Horrible Vision of a Puppet-Based Future Chinese Oscar Wilde and the Crappy Translation Somewhat Controversial Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia From our logs: 15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!) 23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA) 08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F) Biopic of the Week <insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}! UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!) Unsignpost Founder of the Week: ...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you. Animal of the Week: Stoat ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways. Template of the Week: The bad lyric generator ~ She's coming out of cloud nine yeah Falling seeing nude yeah yeah, disintegrating parachutist woman - Budgie Last Minute Box of the Week: First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking: Pole Dancer of the Week: Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:59, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Are you aware of this article "AB Cartridge Pvt Ltd"?

At first it's advertising but ten minutes later, someone changed it. What do you think? • nyp 08:23, 29 May 2008

Ignore it, someone put it on QVFD. • nyp 08:25, 29 May 2008

I QVFD'd it by the way. I don't know what it is, but it's crap in my opinion (Bonner) (Talk) May 29, 08:26

Article? What article? I don't see no article? ~ 08:29, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Having a bad day?

Yeah, I saw that unblock log. Have some cake! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:37, May 29

A mysterious stranger has awarded you a slice of cake! The icing is extra-frosty!

Thanks! It's not as bad as I recently discovered that my patience has grown significantly shorter. Possibly due to dealing with the crapflood day after day. I am, however, working secretly on a new piece, finally, after a long time. Too long. ~ 12:40, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Yay, new Mordillo goodness to look forward to! That's definitely a reason to be cheerful! Also, me an' YTTE have been busy little beavers on HowTo - like what we've done so far? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:43, May 29

Oh yeah, and how's your mic issues coming? (Note, this is not an attempt to hurry you, I said take your time and meant it, I'm just asking is all). --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:44, May 29

VELL....the HowTo didn't look that nice for ages, and the mike is still playing games. I might be naughty and just start using my work laptop instead of my home one....Might be something wrong with the machine itself. ~ 12:49, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for the gifts

I hope you enjoyed the article. The gifts will be most useful in fending off the baderinegooses. Now your my HERO!--- Cheapinitreal (talk) 07:57, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

If only you were a maid in distress :) ~ 09:22, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

I can offer my services as a stand-in Damsel In Distress™... ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 09:41, 30 May

Only if you promise to wear an appropriate costume! ~ 10:08, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

/me looks around to check if someone's watching, flashes Mordillo her less than decent Damsel In Distress™ uniform. -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 18:14, 30 May

Are you enjoying your brush with fame?

Also, if you need a hangers-on, yes man, or entourage member, I'm available. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:30, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

What? Why's Mordillo's brush famous? - [16:32 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

He's too busy at a Hollywood premiere to reply. I hear that he's up for a gig as a Daily Show correspondent and he's writing a sitcom for NBC. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:03, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

I have a sneaky susppicion Modus, that you might be, in fact, Zorn? BTW, doesn't he sound more like a villain from Superman rather than James Bond? ~ 10:34, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

That fits too. He's both a Bond and a Superman villain. I'm not Zorn. I'm not Zorn. Remember that, and there'll be a reward when the revolution comes. Don't fail me again, Mordillo. Moo ha-ha! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:47, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

/Me hands over a white kitten to Modus ~ 07:29, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

היי

שלום מורדילו זה פאי שוב. אני שמח לבשר לך שכל העיניינים שהיו באתר נשכחו מזמן וכולנו בסדר שוב. אני בה בבקשה. אנו נצבים לפני דיון הקשור במפעילי מערכת שנמשך כבר כמה, ימים אני פונה אליך כחלק מההצעה לדבר עם מפעילים באתרים אחרים בסוגיה. אנו דנים על אם מפעילים שלא פעילים בקרב זמן של חצי שנה צריכים להיות עדיין מפעילים (אבל הדיון גלש לתחומים אחרים בנושא כבר) אני והקהילה תשמח אם תקח חלק בדיונים ותעזור לנו בסוגייה שלך 84.109.1.140 20:22, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

ראיתי מה שכתבת בדף שיחתי בwikia. יש הבדל בין האתר שלנו לאתר שלכם- אצלנו כמעט כל משתמש ותיק הוא מפעיל. נוצרת אנרכיה כי לכל אחד יש אג'נדה וסדר יום, ונוצר מצב כמו בממשלת אחדות, המוביל לשיתוק. אצלכם יש 50 מפעילים על מאות כותבים, לא 50 מפעילים שהם הכותבים. הפכנו ל"ויקי של מפעילים" וזה מצב אנרכי בדיוק כמו ויקי בלי אף מפעיל. יש מחלוקות, גם אם יטאטאו אותן מתחת לשטיח- מה נחשב ערך מצחיק ומה צריך להימחק, למשל. אם מפעיל כותב ערך יותר קשה למחוק אותו ע"פ שיקול דעת כי שיקול דעתו הוא שצריך לשחזר את הערך. וכן הלאה. האם לדעתך אנחנו צריכים דייאטת מפעילים, ואם כן איך? 217.132.189.102 06:29, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh daddy, daddy...

...YTTE runs in through the back door with muddy boots on and in a fit of tears....tears of joy. Daddy, daddy, it's born! It lives etc. Oh daddy, daddy could you bless it so the household gods will favoUr it? Oh it so wants to be blessed! - [20:31 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

....I'm impressed!!! And as soon as I finish with the current piece of @$@$!!! I'm working on, I'll be sure to join in. ~ 11:24, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh yay! Daddy's been a bad daddy, he forgot to indent his comment! - [11:27 1 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Being a vigilant Uncyclopedian...

...you're just the first admin that popped into mind. Um, I just noticed two tiny weeny little mistakes on the {{MonthlyAwards}} template. It says "On such example is Dr. Skullthumper" where I think it means "one such..." and also it says "Nope, that's wrong too. Well, suffice it to say that he took the midnight train, and, though it could have taken him anywhere, it took him Uncyclopedia" where I think it should say "it took him to Uncyclopedia". Just reporting 'em and being a vigilant Uncyclopedian and what-not. - [19:55 1 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Done. You have eyes everywhere eh? ~ 20:13, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Most places. - [20:20 1 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

David Clarke

I note you just huffed, “David Clarke”, ” A foolish or stupid person. 2. A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn ...” Now that’s worse than Phyllis Schlafly. It looks like a real person not someone in the public eye. Why isn’t the user blocked? Is there one rule for good creative writers and another for n00bs who haven’t shown what they can write yet?Barbara Shack 08:56, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

A.Google the name. B.There are different standards for registered users and IPs, for better and worse. C.Get over that whole Phyllis Schalfly incident, I told you in the past that were you to contact me via email or go over to the IRC you would have been unbanned. ~ 09:05, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

A little hand here, please?

Could you convince this twat that I'm not a sockpuppet of that zona metorefet we all so love and get this guy off my neck. I don't want to create a flame war, but I'm itching to do something bad to him, so while I'm still sane, I thought I'd try be a good girl and tattle to you... Please make him/me/both of us stop before a war breaks out... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 10:48, 2 Jun

I'm impressed you got your Hebrew in check :). I'll look into it. Are you around your office at night time? ~ 13:51, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

I usually am, if I'm at home and remember to open mIRC. However I finally managed to log on to Freenode, too, so I'm even in the official room. Thankies, for the compliment, Sabba. Photographic memory does have it's uses, it seems... How do you thank someone politely in Hebrew? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:46, 2 Jun

Thanks you very much would be Toda Rabba (with the emphasis on the last syllable) ~ 20:13, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

"Toda Rabba, Sabba"? Yay, my first whole sentence in Hebrew! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:35, 3 Jun

Excellent! ~ 09:14, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

I noticed you've got La Famiglia on your user page. However there's an updated pic, and we're working on a template for the family tree... And I think I'm going to have to create an user page template that people get once they've contributed to the darned (I need more semi-swearwords in Hebrew...) family tree template or at least told me whom they're related to... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:03, 3 Jun

La Familia (Once everyone gets their sorry asses to it...)

Sabba & Co's brood - Can anyone prove they're older?

                    Sophia═╤═Chronarion 
                           │                
                           ?                 
                           │         ?     
               ?        Sannse       ↑   
        ?      ├↔RAHB      ├↔      Dillo    ToddyL  TommyM**════════════════════════════╤═══Yoshi
        ↑          │                │╘════════╪═══════╛└───────┬──────┬───────┐         │
     Codeine ═╤═ Mhaille            │         |                │      │       │       Spang
           Zana Dark**              │  Shawhat/NoPants        TKF   Tucky   Fou-Lu      │
              │             ┌───────┼─────┐             ┌──────┼───────┐                │
              │             Lj    Enzo    ├───↔ YTTE  JasonH  JimmyG    Dr.S      
              │             │             │      ┌──────┼──────┐              └───────┬┘              Sissy═══╤═══Queer 
              │             AK═╤════════Leddy  (S)TD?    Mnbvcxz       ¿?             │                │    │    
              │                │           ├────┼─────┐                            Fnoodle             ☯   Tags
              │               MrN        Cajek Nez Sonje
              │        ┌───┴──┐ ┌───┴─┐ 
              │        Luv  OptyC‎  Dj I     Cheapie                         ChiefjusticeDS          
              │        │                                                   ┌──────┼────────┐
              │       E85                                       Ohnogodnotagain  SC   John Lydon
              │   
              │   
        ┌──┬──┴──────────────────────┬────────────────────┐
        │ *Dr.Fenwick        Mazaka→Paizuri*          Happytimes**     
        │ *KingSavage        ┌───────┴─────┐              |    
        │ *SpillinDylan  Romaioktonos  Lyrithya*    ┌─────┴─────┐
        │ *SunnyBacon                          MinionOfDoom  Happymonkey39                    
        │ *Goldfishrock                         Nintenfan1  
        │ *Fuentfue                                                 
        │ *FreshMeat                                    
        │ *StonedJeff                                             
        │ *Siddhartha-Wolf          
        │ *LordNorth
        │ *Cp833
        │ *SueySeidl
        │ *Xo0o0ox
        └────┘
         
                 
                     

Make your tree snippets below this line if the above tree is beyond you, and Mummy will help out if she remembers...

---

That better? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 00:46, 4 Jun

What, that there says I adopted Leddy! - [06:47 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Is there a line straight down to Leddy from you? No, Leddy is one of Sabba's sons and based on the information I've got, your brother. Pay attention to the pretty lines and where they go... *sigh* I guess next I'm gonna have to colour code the thing... *sigh* - -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 07:10, 4 Jun

But there's a fundamental mistake there - I was never adopted by Hinoa. In fact, AAN didn't exist when I joined, so I'm an orphan, like UU. ~ 07:22, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

/me screams in frustration. DADDY PERKELE! - -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 07:27, 4 Jun

You should label the different families - the Mordillo Faimly, the Orian Family, the MrN9000 Family... Also there is a line going from me to Led, or was... - [15:12 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

It says I adopted Leddy but not Qua. For me it's all over the place the random lines... :-( - [15:13 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

This is what I see... "¿?" should lead to Qua... - -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:02, 4 Jun

I thought that was what you were meant to see, but my computer refuses to show it correctly. It's probably cause our computer screen resolutions are different, or something silly like that. - [17:28 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Gah! Work hours are insane... Yeah, it might be. Why isn't your resolution maxed out, then..? Mine's at about... oh I dunno... 1440x900px on mah laptop. And the family tree looked ok at work, too... /me glares at *checks tree* Great Grand Uncle YTTE... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 16:58, 5 Jun

How Dare You?

You don't appear to have a South Park image of yourself for me to add to my South Park images of people gallery at the moment. Rectify this shocking oversight, please. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:22, Jun 2

Can I too? May I, may I? PLEEEAAASEE? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:47, 2 Jun

I think UnIdiot has one, too. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 18:37, Jun 2

How dare you, ey? - [18:45 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you attempt to bring your meme over to another talkpage? How dare you not consult me first? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:41 Jun 2

How dare you ask me to consult you first and how dare you deny me my right to bring this over to the said talkpage. - [19:44 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you, SysRq, not reply, because if you had we could have started the whole thing up, all over again. - [20:00 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you all enter my talk page when I'm not around and start a fight without calling me first? /me looks for a pillow ~ 20:12, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

How dare you not use italics on your "dare" and how dare you look for a pillow, not a feather pillow! - [20:18 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Pillow fight?! Hooray! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:38, 3 Jun

How dare you to user italics on you when it's obviously not the right word to italic! ~ 20:21, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

How dare you insinuate that I italicised "you" when I clearly didn't! - [20:26 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you use an exclamation point when you should be using either a question mark or an interrobang? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:31 Jun 2

Luvvy: Please do! Leddy: the only pic I saw on UnIdiot's userpage is not finding its way into my gallery... The rest of you apart from Mordillo: don't mind me guys, carry right on. Mordillo: what kind of riffraff do you get on your talkpage man? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:42, Jun 2

You should see the ruffians who frequent mine. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:52 Jun 2

Why Luvvy two letters, get? - [21:20 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Because pickles. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:38 Jun 2

Because I'm a high maintenance Luvvy? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 02:23, 3 Jun

I'm telling you UU, ever since I archived my last talk page, it's chaos and mayham. CHAOS AND MAYHAM I TELL YOU. I got all sort of people walking in and out, drinking my bear, eating my food and leaving drunk hookers everywhere. ~ 21:58, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

/me grabs a drunk hooker, decides it's a bad idea. Picks up some snacks and wanders off... MrN  Fork you! 22:01, Jun 2

That wasn't a drunk hooker, that's Cajek! PUT HIM DOWN! ~ 22:01, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Actually, all of the talk pages (the ones that matter anyways) seem to be getting more traffic and random silliness. /me snacks on Mordillo ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:20 Jun 2

“Stop that! You're being silly!”

~ John Cleeze/Mordillo

No one listens to the admins these days... MrN  Fork you! 01:57, Jun 3

Portal (game)

I believe that since your ICU on Portal (game), the article has very much improved. (I know, I made two (or three?) previous articles that were also deleted, but I think this is a lot better. Possibly a triumph.) I would appreciate your feedback.

MacMania 22:26, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Yep, I removed the ICU. You still need some work (formatting wise) - I'd try to separate the text a bit to avoid it looking that blocky. As for the content, unfortunatly I don't have the time to review it throughly at the moment - but you can post it here for in depth review. It looks much better though. Good luck! ~ 09:19, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

I need you or somebody!

I'm hoping that you are an admin. I could not get any help for my issue concerning an article I'd really, really, really like to have in my userspace here and since no one seems to know how to fix it, I'm turning to you - hoping and praying that you can help. You see, I want it to do something like this and I'd like to be able to put my own font on the text (it'll only be one font throughout), and I'd like the title centered and the rest of the text to be just the way it'd normally be - from left to right. If the whole thing has to be centered to get the effect, then that's fine, but I want the background and it needs to be infinite because there is more text to be added than there is at the moment. I wrote the Phantom parody some years ago and I'd really like to host it here on Uncyc. Is there anything that can be done? — Mgr. Nacky (talk) 01:01, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Hya, I'm an admin but this doesn't have to do with adminhood stuff. Like YTTE mentioned, it would be best to take off the picture you are using as a background, that complicates everything. Better to find the exact RGB color code and use it instead. Also, you can steal the <title> tag from the slime cube and implement it there, the whole picture issue makes it a bit funky though. The best person to contact regarding messing around with formatting would probably be Spang. Let me know if there's anything else you need. ~ 09:32, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

But that's what I was trying to say...can someone put whatever code to do that with in there for me as I have no idea what I'm doing or at least give me the code and tell me what place it goes (in between what and where) and that kinda jazz? The picture isn't even really a picture - it's a texture more like. I can always switch it out for a solid color if the background texture I have up now is going to be really frowned upon but I don't see why. :( And yes YTTE did make some suggestions and then he catapulted plutonium into the forest...I'm at a loss. — Mgr. Nacky (talk) 15:05, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Like I said, for this kind of coding Spang is your man. Sorry I can't help any further...~ 15:08, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh alright then! Sheeesh. Could you at least get up from your table or desk for a moment and dance around so the people in the next room can get video footage of it and put it on YouTube? — Mgr. Nacky (talk) 00:20, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Pheatchure?

Hi there Mr Dillo, hope I finds you well. Just a quickie: I know you're rightly pleased with your Ahmedinajad article making pheatchure and all, but, well, shouldn't Public service announcement be getting its moment in the sun today? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 08:31, Jun 3

I'm telling you, being the only active admin around here, makes things a tad difficult. Hello? Is there anybody out there? out there out there out there ~ 09:13, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Well if you will be so good at your job... I'd give you some kind of a template, but I think I've given you most of mine now. Hell, I even made one just for you once, and any more would just look like blatant sucking up. Besides, you're not the only active admin, I just saw Codeine doing something - you're just the most active admin I see. By a long shot. But honestly, it is appreciated. By me at least. Now, I'm off to do stuff. Toodles! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:20, Jun 3

Well, you know that I'm a bot operated by Codeine, that's why you always see us together :). BTW, sorry again for the audio thingy taking so long...~ 09:22, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Codeine has operatives everywhere man. Everywhere. Seriously, I'm starting to get suspicious about that sparrow hopping by the office window... Also, no worries on the audio - whenever man. It's something I lack both the talent and the set-up to do, so I can't hassle those with both! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:53, Jun 3

Human beings and oohaah scribblewiki

Why did you get rid of my page that I spent ages creating? Nothing wrong with it. And it was still under construction anyway. Steward2007 11:16, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

See my comment on your talk page at the bottom of your welcome message. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:17, Jun 3

Like UU said, that's not an article, that's an advertisement for your website. If you want to draw people, you can start a forum on the village dump, but writing an article about it is not the proper way. ~ 11:29, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

I have started a topic on the Village dump so if you want to go and have a look then you are more than welcome to. Also the first 25 people to sign up will automatically become an Admin. Steward2007 11:42, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Thank you, but being an admin here takes enough of my time as it is :) ~ 11:56, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

We may need an admin...

Hey Mordy!! I'm not sure if you're around at the moment, but we may be needing admin(s) around tonight because the EDians seem to be waging war with us. They've attacked my user page once and Qua's a couple of times. They've probably made it a "attack Uncyclopedia with wit" day. Anyway, just letting you know. - [18:05 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Sorry for not being around, I saw that Sannse blessed them? ~ 08:08, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Ahh! It's driving me maaad!

"rm low health 21% +3" - what does it MEAN? --Hyperbole 05:20, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

VFH health is measured thus: $\frac{Num Of Votes}{Days In Queue + 7}$. Even though your article got 3 votes (which one are we talking about?) It was the lowest health of all the articles for the day. It's very boring mathy stuff.   Le Cejak • <5:26, 04 Jun 2008>

It's a way for us to know when to remove articles from the VFH queue once they've becoming stale, usually you have three days before the health begins to drop (unless it goes below zero points). After that it starts to drop or rise with accordance to the number of votes. Considering the number of articles we have on the queue, articles will usually be removed when they go below 40ish percent (unless they're somewhere around the 8-9 votes, than we let them stay longer). So what it said basically is: your article was removed due to low health - it reached 21% and had three positive votes when it was removed. ~ 07:26, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Ah. Thanks, guys. (I actually wasn't talking about a specific article; I just wanted to know the formula for determining "health," and what health was). --Hyperbole 15:08, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Encyclopedia Dramatica (Website)

Hey Mordillo. I edited the terrible Encyclopedia Dramatica (Website) article to a very simple format: just images. AAA! is going to fuck with it and claim that it should maybe be in an article form. I disagree, basically because we want to look like we're above them and not haters. Look at their article and tell me we shouldn't do this. The original article we had there was nothing: mostly it made us look like whiney bitches. At least now there is some relevancy to what ED really is: utter crap. Could you help protect the article from reversion by AAA, that is, if you agree with my changes (which are really not that drastic)?   Le Cejak • <4:34, 05 Jun 2008>

• old
• new

How about you discuss it with him before I get involved? I didn't see either of you discussing it, other than the edit summaries. If you can't get into agreement, I can hop over and straight things out. ~ 11:18, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff] Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek by ThePaleOne It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided. Random Mumblings: "Monster" By Zombiebaron Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages! Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want. Voatse.cx User:Under user/SparkGallery The Uncyclopedia Genome Project From our logs: 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) 01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?) 06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!) 18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!) 19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!) 19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9000 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!) May "Of the Month" Award Winners Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE! Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim. Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his/her day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit! Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy! MrN9000's VFD vote/nomination of the week: Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:17, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Jew

That's you. Where've you been lately? I've missed you and our discussions about the ratification of Kyoto. — Sir Manticore 10:16, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

That's me. Do you mean on the IRC? Yes, I have been absent lately... I promise to improve my heinous standards! Anything new and interesting? New bans? New deaths? ~ 11:25, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

I kicked sannse twice today for excess lesbianism. Other than that not much is going on. — Sir Manticore 11:46, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

And I though that extreme lesbianism is a good thing? ~ 11:48, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

I dunno, but I sent you an email so we can discuss this matter in length. — Sir Manticore 13:04, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

ינון יצא מדעתו

http://www.wikia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Manticore, כדאי לך להתערב 77.127.118.82 13:29, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

שמתי לב, כמו שציינתי בדף שלי באיןציקפלופדיה, אני לא מתערב יותר בעניין, האיש לא שפוי. ~ 13:33, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Following your advise, I have just made a short tour to eincyclopedia. Oy Vey! It has gone from wasteland to dramaland! I got a warning after making a single edit, a new personal wikirecord! However, what surprised me the most was the list of prominent contributors at the top of the mainpage, dude, WTF. BTW, not pakakh came to check my train ticket, lucky me, I hadn't payed for my edits.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 09:00, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

It's far worse than that. He actually deleted numerous records of past activities by him. Everytime there's a fight, he deletes the relevant pages and then restores them without the content he wants taken off. He deleted yesterday the goodbye letter written by a 13 year old sysop whom he threatned to sue - just because he mentioned his name, and restored it again to a version to his liking. Same thing being done numerous times at their village dump, users talk pages, etc. He is mad with power. I only hope that the guys over there wake up one day and just realize that they can remove his privleges easily. Check out Manticore's talk page in Wikia. Oh, btw, don't write here on the Shabat please, you are inciting against the Jewish people and might sued, deported, spanked or all of the above. ~ 13:05, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

I didn't know about the orwellian history modification. I did see the threat to the boy, Rab Elihor Khen must be proud, the guy should run away to brazilian uncyc before he gets cought.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 17:04, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

I think that that community is just too scared of him to actually vote him out of service. BTW, the latest fight there started following that front page template and the fact that one of the other sysops remarked, jockingly, that Yinon's blurb was bigger than the others'. He went mad, and to illitirate that satire can go astray, he returned to his standard rhetoric:"You want a dark satire? Here you go: Askenazi left winger = shit." He tends to say that every time someone pisses him off. Oh no, did I just say something which might base his case against me? I'm screwed. ~ 22:05, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

I'm not only an ashkenazi left winger, but I'm also just as bad as those who promoted Rabin's assessination. I must the worst human been in the whole Middle East. Well, maybe the second, you are the first.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 23:04, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

I'm ceetainly the first. But don't worry, I shall soon share a cell with that 13 year old kid, and peace shall return to the holyland. ~ 23:11, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

thank you

but now that you contacted me i would like to ask something of you:

• we both care about איןציקלופדיה but lately you have been encouraging fights and problems in the very small community we have. people have not been righting at all since you started to "contribute" to the conversations at the site.

i have been trying to force them into righting again by creating a uncyclopedian version of the eurovision - which is meant for creating new things, but because of the sparks you created they don't care about righting any more - they only care about who is right. i am not in a political position to stop this fight - but you are. so i beg of you, do something to stop this fight, so the site could grow and develop once again.

raymondAK-47

בוא נעבור לעברית בשביל שיהיה יותר נוח עבור שנינו. הייתי מציע לך לעבור בדיוק על כל הדברים שכתבתי באתר, אבל זה יהיה קשה עקב הנטיה של ינון למחוק כל מה שלא נראה בעיניו. אני מעולם לא עודדתי מלחמות באתר, אני מעולם לא עודדתי כותבים לריב אחד עם השני. - מה שאתה כותב פה, זו חזרה על דבריו של האדיוט מבלי לבדוק לעומק את מה שבאמת קרה. אז מה באמת קרה? ממש בקצרה ינון מציע לסגור את האתר בימי הזכרון, ביום כיפור ובתשעה באב. ההצבעה על זה מתנדנדת לכאן ולכאן. אני משאיר הודעה באתר שממליצה להמנע מכך מכיוון שזה לא דבר שאינו מקובל בויקיות, ולא מתפקידה של איןציקלופדיה לחנך את אזרחי ישראל, שלא לאמר - זה לא מעיד דבר על אופיים של הכותבים, באם "העזו" לכתוב באתר בימים אלו. ינון, שכבר החל לחסום משתמשים על סמך זה שהניח שהצבעתו תתקבל ללא התנגדות, נאלץ לעצור הכל ולחזור בו. והוא לא אהב את זה. לאחר מכן השארתי הודעה קצת יותר מפורטת שבה הבעתי את דעתי על כך שהאתר אינו הולך בכיוון נכון אלא בכיוון של בירוקרטיה ענפה, שזה אינו מתאים לאתר הומוריסטי. מפה התחיל מחול השדים - כאשר ינון הגיב ב"גרמת מספיק נזק לך מפה". גרמתי מספיק נזק? כן, גרמתי לו להפסיד בהצבעה, והוא לא אוהב את זה. מכאן ואילך הדברים החלו להדרדר כאשר תרומתי האוביקטיבית לעניין, מינימלית. הפוסט האחרון שלי באתר (למעט זה שבו נדהמתי, באמת ובתמים, על מידת הפרנויה שהוא מביע) היתה לגבי הסרת הרשאות מפעילים - בעקבות בקשה של פאי ושלו לההתייחס לעניין. וזהו פחות או יותר. כך שלפני שאתה מצהיר שאני מעודד מלחמות באתר, אני מציע שתבדוק את עצמך. (אם הייתי ינון, הייתי אומר - אתה מוציא דיבתי רעה, אבל אני לא כזה). לעומת זאת יש לך מפעיל מערכת בור, שמתנהל כמו בריון, םשוטו כמשמעו, ומאיים על כך משתמש באתר - בפניה לרשויות, בתביעות אזרחיות וכו' וכו'. אתה יודע למה הוא מצליח בשלטון האימה שלו? פשוט, כי רובכם (אני מניח גם אתה) צעירים מדי בשביל להבין איזה כמות של זיבולי מוח יש בהצהרות שלו. אגב, אני לא אומר את זה בהתנשאות, אני אומר את זה כעובדת חיים פשוטה - צריך ידע בחוק ובמערכות מידע בשביל להבין שזיבולי המוח שלו ריקים מתוכן לחלוטין. בכל ויקי אחרת, הוא היה מועף לכל הרוחות כבר מזמן. תהית למה הוא חסום בויקיפדיה? זה נכון שההנהלה שלהם קשוחה, אבל לא הייתי אומר שהיא בלתי הוגנת. עבור על משתמש "ערכן" בויקיפדיה העברית, ותגיד לי אם ההתנהגות הפרנואידית והפלצנית לא נראית לך מוכרת. בקיצור, הבעיה האתר שלכם היא לא בין הכותבים. הבעיה שלכם היא ינון. לא שמת לב שנקודת הכובד של כל, אבל כל, המריבות באתר - היא ינון? ולסיכום - העפתי מבט באתר במהלך השבת, כאשר האיש לא היה נוכח - איזו שלווה! בלי מחיקות, בלי מריבות, הכל היה על מי מנוחות. אז תשאל את עצמך מי אחראי למצב הזה. ~ 23:12, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

אגב, עוד נקודה למחשבה, אני הפסקתי לערוך באתר. המעורבות שלי מאז היא רק באתר ויקיה, שם ינון מנסה באמצעות האנגלית הקלוקלת שלו לעורר מהומות והפניה שלך אלי כעת. אני עם האתר הזה סיימתי. ~ 23:22, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

/me wanders by recentchanges and proceeds to feel left out. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:25, Jun 7

Sorry Leddy, to get the general idea, visit Manticore's talk page in Wikia. ~ 23:27, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Ok, read his page. Now, here's what we do, mkay? We get a whole bunch of English Uncyc users, right, and you teach us all hebrew. Then we all join this other Uncyc, and help out this poor power-crazy admin-guy! Honestly, making fun of religion, Mordillo? And questioning the establishment!? You should just be grateful that Big Brother hasn't dispatched the subjugation battalion. Yet. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:39, Jun 7

Damn, you're right. I actually forgot, for a minute, I was up against the cabal. Were such entity existed. ~ 23:40, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Exactly! Now all we have to do is close our eyes, cover our ears, curl up into a ball, and rock back and forth, telling ourselves that everything is fine. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:44, Jun 7

In fact, let's pretend I never actually knew Hebrew, that would have saved me a lot of trouble...~ 23:45, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Well, alright, but we'll have to pick you a replacement language. How do you feel about Igbo-Swahili? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:51, Jun 7

Sounds as usueful as Hebrew! ~ 00:07, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

"...force them into righting". Oy Vey! Also, I'm saying "Oy Vey" too often lately, eincyclopedia is driving me back to my roots, my late zeide must be glad.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 09:48, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

charming... first of all mordilo i would like to say that I'm an American, so English is more natural for me... either way i wasn't saying that you directly encouraged fights at eincyclopedia, i said that by interfering with the community at eincyclopedia you caused a lot of fights. I'm asking you to say something to stop this before someone leaves. yanon recently said he's taking a vacation and suza said he will leave, and i cant blame them, because its not fun any more with all the fights between the users at the site.

I did not interfere with the community. Did you read anything of what I wrote above? And like I said, I'm done. Only thing that can be done there is that you get Yinon in check before he scares off everyone. ~ 22:19, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

im trying to lighten up the site , but now one will listen because their to busy fighting about subjects you brought up! RaymondAK-47 06:13, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Which were legitimate subject for every normal community. I didn't say FUCK YOU ALL YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT FROM SCONES. I said - you have some issues, I have some suggestions, you don't have to follow them. If you can't take different opinions, you're in the wrong type of website. Also, may I remind you that I did actually put a post saying, everyone relax etc? Alas, one specific sys admin ran all over the site and claimed that me and Daniel and planning "something sneaky". Seriously. ~ 07:32, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Tighten that gasket sir?

UU hard at work

Nice of you to say so sir! Of course, like all right-thinking people, I hope I lose to Modus, but it's gratifying to get the nom! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 08:47, Jun 10

My pleasure! Do you fix bikes as well? ~ 10:32, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

La familia?

Damn, did my absence cause me to miss the christenings / jewenings? --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

What christenings would be those be? ~ 10:54, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Everything you see in this conversation is due to awkward misunderstanding. --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

Fag, I have no idea what you're on about :) ~ 10:59, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

I was just looking at your AAN familia and made a slight joke that attempted to acknowledge my place in this site, but it failed and my place has clearly dissipated. :P --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

Oh! Tell Luvvy, and she'll update it then :) ~ 11:06, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

I'm technically not in your AAN familia due to being adopted by THE, but I left for a while so I'm open for adoption, if anyone's interested... in fact, that should be said somewhere other than a talk page. :P --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

Hey, long time no see... Yeah, I can update the tree, if need be. And we can start a new family tree there. It's not like there can be too many family trees, right? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 11:14, 10 Jun

Hey Luvvy :D If there's any cool noobs out there, you let me know :P My return to the site has left me somewhat redundant (excl. Pee Review) --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

Haven't bumped into any promising ones lately... But we can always adopt each other with some silly redundant excuse. Or then we make you a Mistress Pussy and we start working on the Pussy Galore prize, no idea for what one can earn it, but I think it's about time the Sorority gets an award of some form or another. That way, it'll have a reason to live for... ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:44, 10 Jun

help me im a noob

VFS

You nominated MrN and UU, just like I wanted! I hope that my proddings of MrN and my talkings with UU had some kind of sway in the matter? ...inthematter?   Le Cejak • <13:34, 10 Jun 2008>

It's just due to the fact we are basically, symbiotic? ~ 13:36, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

La Familla

may I join? MGR. baseball16 22:00, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Plus:

RAPE

If you fix your signature and get adopted by a member of the family you can. ~ 07:29, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Feature request

Hey, Mordillo - I know this is a weird request, and I'm not sure it can be done, but - if Japanese High Schools is set to be featured tomorrow (Thursday, 6/12), is there a way it could postponed for a day? Two reasons: 1. it would be weird for two of my articles to appear on back-to-back days (I also wrote Turing Duck Test); and 2. Friday, 6/13 is my birthday and it would be kind of cool to be featured then. Anyway, if that's too much to ask, no big deal; just thought I'd check. Cheers! --Hyperbole 19:29, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

You think that's a wierd request? You should hear about that time when Modusoperandi asked me to date his sister. Done, and happy birthday! ~ 21:16, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Hooray! Thank you! --Hyperbole 01:53, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

A... nice admin? *head explodes* ~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

WHERE?!?!? ~ 12:18, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Call you?

Well, I was just going to chop out the crap really. Not a full re-write I guess. Do you know why the Uncyc logo is appearing in the wrong place? MrN  Fork you! 00:39, Jun 12

Ahh, it's not now. :) MrN  Fork you! 01:50, Jun 12

I think it was due to the very long length of it. I was looking to rewrite it for a while, so still, if you have the stomach to, lemme know. ~ 17:29, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

The logo thing was because a tag was not closed... Codeine fixed it. I'm planning to work on this more over the next few days... I noticed you are giving it a look also, cool! MrN  Fork you! 10:27, Jun 13

Yes, mainly just weeding out for now, but we do need to put some effort into it :) ~ 11:13, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Cool. An Anglo - Israeli collaboration! Now there is an idea which is sure to work. :) Guess I should actually do a bit of reading around the subject to make sure I'm correct about which facts I'm not being correct about... I think we can make this article really good... MrN  Fork you! 12:23, Jun 13

That actually worked quite well in the past. ~ 12:30, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

אתה פופולרי לאחרונה!

כתבו לך פוסט. דניאל ב.

למה לאחרונה? אני תמיד פופולרי. מכיוון שאין לי רצון לשוב לחצר האחורית של ינון (וגם מכיוון שיש לו נטיה לשפץ קטעים שלא מתאימים לאג'נדה יפת הנפש שלו במיטב המסורת האורווליאנית) אני ארשום מספר הרהורים כאן.

באיןציקלופדיה האנגלית עולים כמה דברים מעניינים, לכאורה כמובן (תבדקו שם): 1)העורך שהכניס הסתה נגד חרדים בימים האחרונים נשלח ביוזמתו של מורדילו, במטרה לחמם אותי, ולהבאיש את ריחי בעיני הקהילה, מה שהוא כנראה מנסה כבר זמן רב (בשיחה שם הוא כותב לו שהוא נכנס לערוך כאן כפי שמורדילו הציע לו). 2)כנראה ששנאתו התהומית של מורדילו כלפי נובעת מהיותו שונא דתיים בדם. הוא מזכיר שוב ושוב את הנושא ש"לא לכתוב בשבת". 3)כשאנשים משבחים אותי בפניו הוא מנסה לטעון שזה כי "מפחדים ממני". וכשמגנים אותי בפניו הוא אומר ש"איבדתי את שפיות דעתי". מורדילו נשמה תבין, אם מסכימים עם מישהו זה לא תמיד כי מפחדים ממנו, יכול גם להיות שמכבדים אותו ואוהבים אותו כי גם הוא מכבד ואוהב אחרים, וכן, אני יודע שקשה לך להאמין, אבל באמת יש דבר כזה! לא הכל בחיים זה כח, תאמין לי, תנסה ותראה שאני צודק.(יצא לי קטע סאטירי הומוריסטי)

אני תוהה האם ינון מודע לכמה הוא הזוי, לאחר שאיים בבריונות על כל משתמש כמעט באתר בתביעות דיבה, פניה לרשויות וכולי וכולי, הוא טוען שמכבדים ואוהבים אותו. כן, גם את אטילה ההוני אהבו וכיבדו. מאד. ובנוסף, אני הייתי רוצה להעיר משהו על הבורות המתמשכת של היצור הזה. ראשית, בתור מי שטוען לתביעות דיבה על כל ביטוי שלא מוצא חן בעיניו, כדאי שיבין משהו: ראשית, הביטוי "לכאורה" לא מציל את הישבן הצנום שלו מתביעות דיבה, לכאורה-לכאורה. כך שהשימוש בלכאורה פעמים רבות חוזרות ונשנות, לא יסייע לו. לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה, במידה ואני "אחליט לפנות לרשויות לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה" כמו שהוא אוהב לאיים השכם וערב. זה אגב יכול להיות מעניין: בית המשפט בתל אביב - "מורדילו" נגד "ינון" לכאורה. משעשע. העורך שנשלח לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לאתר הנו לא אחר מאשר הבירוקרט הראשי של האיןציקלופדיה הספרדית, שהוא גם במקרה, ישראלי - שהגיע לשם מתוך סקרנות ונתקל ביחס הבריוני הקבוע של ינון, הכל כמובן "לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה". גם המשפט האחרון היה לכאורה.

מורדילו, אני סולח לך על ההסתות וההשמצות האישיות נגדי עד כה, ומוכן לפתוח איתך דף חדש, בשיא הכנות, למרות שכמעט החרבת את האתר במסווה של רצון "להציל אותו" כאשר מצבו היה מצוין. כפי שאתה רואה, כמה ימים בלי ה"תרומות" שלך האתר חוזר בהדרגה להיות מאוחד, כפי שהוא תמיד היה, עד שרצית "להציל את האתר" מה"דיקטטור ינון". כפי שאתה רואה, לולא ההסתות שלך אני מסתדר עם כולם ויש ביננו כבוד הדדי ברמות שכנראה אתה לא מכיר ומעולם לא חוית (לכאורה כמובן). אם תנצל את היד המושטת לשלום בשיא הכנות, כולנו נרויח. אם תמשיך בהסתה, אאלץ לחסום אותך לצמיתות, בכדי שנוכל לחזור לנהל כאן אתר רגוע בלי מחלוקות אינסופיות. אני מבקש ממך להבין זאת בהגיון ולקבל את ההחלטה הנכונה, בברכה וכל טוב, ‏ינון TalkΩ אין לנו איןציקלופדיה אחרת! (אלא אם אתם שולטים באנגלית כמו עמיר פרץ). 01:01, 12 ביוני 2008 (UTC)

בנוסף, לא זכור לי שביקשתי את מחילתו נוטפת הארס של הבריון, כך שלא ברור לי למה הוא הוא טורח להעניק אותה במקום שלא נתבקשה. אה, שכחתי, הוא השליט הנערץ, לכאורה, כך שהוא מוכן לפתוח דף חדש. מקסים. זה גם מה שנאמר בפעם הקודמת לא? אבל אז אני ואתה פתחנו בתכנונים חשאיים להפיל את ממשלת האתר. כן. ולגבי האיומים הכה משעשעים, אני מציע שיבדוק היטב מה הוא מתכוון לעשות מולי ובדגש על כתיבת הפרק בהיסטוריה המפוארת של המפעיל ינון באתר , המכונה גם אבני דרך באיןציקלופדיה (אגב, מעניין אם הם שמו לב שהחלק שלו, כמו תמיד גדול משמעותית מזה של כולם - וכן לעובדה שהוא כותב שהוא "עזב את ויקיפדיה לטובת : איןציקלופדיה" כאשר בפועל הוא נחסם לצמיתות לאחר ההתנהגות הרגילה שלו. ולא., במקרה דנן זה לא לכאורה) בקיצור, אני בניגוד לאדם ההזוי הזה, מכיר היטב את החוק ומכיר היטב את החוק בהיבטי מערכות המידע, כך שאם יעלה משהו שלא ימצא חן בעיני, הכל כמובן לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה לכאורה, אני אפנה לרשויות. או שאולי לא? כי לכאורה, רק אנשים הסובלים מאי יכולת להתמודד ברמה הטקסטואלית עם מה שמאיים עליהם, רואים לנכון לפנות לאיומים חסרי שחר שאין להם כל יכולת לקיימם. ולסיכום, השליט הנערץ, אדם שמרגיש צורך לאיים על ילד בן 13 באתר אינטרנט בתביעת דיבה, איום אדיוטי וחסר שחר ככל שיהיה, מה זה אומר עליו? אה נכון, הוא מכבד את כולם.

כל הקטע שנכתב לעיל, נכתב לכאורה. לא באמת.

לא נעים לשמוע דברים ממישהו שלא מפחד מהשטויות שלך אה? ~ 07:41, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

אני מניח שאתה כבר יודע את זה, אבל בעקבות דבריך הספיקו כבר לחסום אותך ולשחרר אותך כמה פעמים. משעשע למדי. גם זה די משעשע. 71.184.197.68 17:54, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

מלחמת חסימות וביטול חסימות על משתמש שלא עורך באתר, ואני בתומתי חשבתי שכבר ראיתי הכל. אגב, אני בשמחה אעלה על שולחן העדים לכאורה, אבל לא מבטיח לשוב לארץ לחקירה הנגדית, יש לי רופאי שיניים לתקוף בחו"ל.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 19:13, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

אתה פופולרי לאחרונה!

כתבו לך פוסט. דניאל ב.

Taking On More Rubbish

Yeah, so remember asking me to keep an eye on the HowTo main page? Well, I just took a look at the UnBooks:Main Page, and it's also lacking updates. Thinky hasn't been author of the month for, er, months, for instance. So yeah, reckon anyone would object if I started sorting that page out as well? I'm going to start now, so if you do object, revert away and let me know! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:17, Jun 12

Actually, sod it - there's stuff about voting for all sorts of UnBooky stuff that hasn't been touched in months - even years. I'm going to take this to the forums to suggest it gets changed due to lack of interest. Let's see what happens! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:34, Jun 12

This so easy, I don't move a finger and all problems are solved. :) ~ 17:20, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content FUCKING Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:59, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

I can't really make a headline in Hebrew, so here goes, for all interested parties

לאחרונה נשמע האיום בתביעת דיבה פעמים רבות כלפי וכלפי חברים אחרים בקהילת האיןציקלופדיה. על מנת להפיס את דעתם של כל המעורבים, ברצוני להסביר מה משמעותה של תביעת דיבה במקרה דנן:

על מנת להגיע למצב של תביעת דיבה, חובה על התובע לזהות את הנתבע נכון? שהרי לא יתכן שתביעה בבית משפט תתבצע בסגנון של "המפעיל ינון" למשל כנגד "הכותב מורדילו". אם כי זה יכול להראות משעשע בפרוטוקול.

לפיכך על התובע לזהות את הנתבע באופן חד משמעי. כלומר - לזהות את כתובת הרשת שלו ולקשר אותה באופן חד חד ערכי למשתמש. איך מקבלים את כתובת הרשת? במקרה שלפנינו, פונים לויקיה ומבקשים ממנה. אה! בעיה! ויקיה כמדיניות לא נותנת כתובות רשת מטעמי פרטיות. אין בעיה ,נפנה לרשויות ונדרוש את כתובת הרשת. רגע! בעיה חדשה. איזה רשויות בדיוק? בנקודה זו יש לציין שני פריטי מידע מעניינים. ראשית - תביעת דיבה הינה עוולה אזרחית, כך שאי אפשר להכנס לתחנת המשטרה המקומית ולדרוש שהיא תדרוש מויקיה את פרטי כתובת הרשת. כלומר, יש לשכור עורך דין בסכום לא מבוטל שיפנה לבית המשפט ויוכיח באופן שאינו משתמע לשני פנים שנגרם נזק מספק לתובע. כמובן, השאלה אם הפסאודו-זהות של "ינון המפעיל" מספקת על מנת לקבוע נזק ישיר לתובע, היא שאלה שעומדת בפני עצמה. נניח שצלחנו גם את השלב הזה. רגע! בעיה חדשה! ויקיה, כידוע היא חברה אמריקאית. דהיינו, היא צריכה להסכים מרצונה לפסיקת בית משפט ישראלי. במידה ולא תסכים - התביעה תועבר לעיון בית משפט אמריקאי שיחליט או שלא לחייב אותה בעניין. נגיד שצלחנו גם את זה. רגע! בעיה חדשה! כתובת רשת! איך נדע למי היא שייכת! פשוט מאד, נעבור לספק האינטרנט. רגע! בעיה! על פי חוקי הפרטיות גם במקרה הזה נדרש לצו בית משפט נוסף עבור ספק האינטרנט בכדי שיואיל בטובו להגיש את הפרטים. אוקי, בנקודה זו עלינו לקוות שהנתבע משתמש בכתובת אינטרנט אמיתית ולא בכתובת מדומה(אה! לא ידעתם שאפשר לעשות את זה? מפתיע לא?) משתמש בפרוקסי פתוח או אולי לא גר בתחומי מדינת ישראל! נניח שהוא גר בתחומי המדינה, אז ניתן להגיש את התביעה. כן. זה יהיה מעניין לראות את כתב התביעה "הוא קרא לפסאודו-נים (הכינוי שלי) אדיוט, דבר שרומז למצבי הנפשי והשפיל אותי בפני "אובונוטו מן" "דולי" ו"יויולה 123". כן, בהחלט יהיה מעניין לראות. ואם הנתבע חי מחוץ למדינת ישראל?אז אנחנו כבר נכנסים להסכמים משפטיים בינלאומיים, וזה מתחיל להיות מסובך ממש. אגב, עוד פריט מידע מעניין. שהרי ידוע שאי אפשר לתבוע תחת כינוי כך שהתובע מחויב לפרסם את פרטיו האמיתיים ובעצם כך חושף עצמו לתביעות נגד, כגון נגיד...בריונות, שימוש לרעה בסמכות, איום על קטינים (במקרה של אובונוטו) וכולי. סיפור מעניין לא? אני מציע למעוניינים להפסיק לעסוק בי בכל אתר שלא יהיה אם הם לא רוצים תגובות נגד. ככה יהיה לכולנו פחות כאב ראש ונתעסק פחות בשטויות. "חסימה לצמיתות ותביעת דיבה". באמת. בהצלחה לכל כותבי איןציקלופדיה. ואגב, אם אתם רוצים לעזור לשכתב את הערך ישראל אצלנו, שכתוב בצורה נוראית - אני אשמח לעזרה. .

~ 18:36, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Hashofet Agranat posek kengged Mordillo. Likhora.

תן לי להשלים את המידע. נניח שהיית מפרסם תחת השם האמיתי שלך והייתי קורא לינון בשמו האמיתי "אידיוט" או כל שם גנאי גרוע אחר. גם אז אין כל סיכוי שעורך דין יסכים לייצג אותו בתביעה חסרת שחר כזאת. הבעת עמדה, גם אם היא שלילית ביותר לא ניתן להחשיב אותה כהוצאת לשון הרע. רק על פרסום עובדות שפורסמו כעובדות ולאו כדעות או פרשנויות ניתן לתבוע מישהו בהוצאת דיבה. אחרת כל עיתונאי היה מקבל עשרות תביעות ביום, ולמושג חופש הביטוי לא היה כל ערך. אז אם אתה לא טענת שינון סובל עובדתית ממחלת פיגור שכלי שחוליה נקראו פעם "אידיוטים" אין לך ממה לחשוש.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 19:33, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

שכחת להוסיף "לכאורה" בסוף. ~ 20:31, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

RE: So

Replied on my page. :D -----TheDragonMan2.0 ^{Chase the Dragon!} 14:33, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh ok

Sorry, my bad :.p. --Allahgator 16:29, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

burning picture

"Muslims protesting this article" which you took out from Muhammad was actually something that made me laugh when i first read it :.p. [1]. I've done work on Kaaba too, made that whole gallery. Let me know if you got any ideas on that too. --Allahgator 22:08, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Feel free to add it back, I have to somehow place it in with the very obscure chart I made :) ~ 22:38, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

THE JEWS GOT ME

Seriously though, can you help explain what this is all about? Thanks man. :) — Sir Manticore 07:22, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Tsk tsk....The IRC says: abuse of multiple accounts. The ban log says: first entry is: marking problems without proper privleges, second one says: abust of multiple accounts. What did you do? ~ 17:56, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

why the deletion?

Why was the page Nucrush deleted? Was it because of the contributor? Or was there an issue with the subject? Can you please at least explain why?

No issues with the contributor, I don't tend to get personal with contributors, unless they're blond and female. That article was about a non existent place, very short and didn't really say anything. I can restore it if you can try to work a bit further on it? ~ 12:18, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Ahh ok. Thanks. I admit it was a bit of a quick job, more intended as a place holder than anything else so I could come back to it later. I'll do some more work on it, make it something decent and respectable. It is a real place by the way, although it is not actually called Nucrush. Its a big quarry on the Gold Coast Australia.

OK, restored. I put a construction tag on it, which gives you seven days of grace period. Good luck. ~ 13:20, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Wow so quick. Thanks. I hope I can get it up to standard and make it something acceptable.

And get an account while you're at it :) ~ 13:36, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Why hello there!

It seems like ages since I've been on this talk page. It's not, it just seems like it. You have that effect. Anyway - this needs closing and so forth. I'd do it but I have no idea what I'm doing (IRL as well) and I'm not sure if it should be an admin who closes it or that nice Mr Operandi who set it up in the first place. So I figured I'd mention it here and you could tell me what you think should be done about it. And when you've finished, tell me a story about Tie Fighters - and do the sound effects! (I like it when you do the sound effects!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:35, Jun 17

How do you brits say? blimey! it took me ages to find that damn template! ~ 11:59, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Ah yes, "cor blimey", believed to be a corruption of "god blind me" - a good partner to "cor lumme", which is, of course, "god love me". We're more god-fearing than we think, over here! Thanks again sir. Now, about those Tie Fighters? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:23, Jun 17

Tie Fighters - as with the star wars tie fighters? O_o ~ 12:24, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Yay! I spies me some admins about doing adminny things! I was starting to wonder about the feature and the cruft backlog that was building up... If only someone had nommed me on VFS. Hang on a minute... ;-) Anyway, good afternoon to you Mordillo. Now, about these Tie Fighters... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:51, Jun 18

I: :) I was up and about Amsterdam looking for apartments, think I might finally found a nice one, the missus was happy, and usually this means that I'm happy as well. So, about those tie fighters, let me take a look....~ 11:58, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Cricket reverts

I am not reverting that section any more I just wanted to include the picture without the shitty text. Cheers Beer Barrals Should be bigger 08:14, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

And I'm not deleting the picture, just makign sure that the name of the author is right. Oh, and trying to tidy up what is a really, really, unfunny article. Gladstone 14:00, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Seems like constant bickering to me. Can you two try to work together rather than fight each other? Hmm? ~ 14:06, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Nice pic, but...

Thanks for adding that picture to UnNews:Mozilla Corporation sets Guinness World Record for Most Spyware Downloads, but the idea is that the spyware was part of Firefox, and put in accidentally, rather than the browser itself being spyware. Thanks anyways. --» DJ "Reaper of Fail" Gentoo, now with wit, sarcasm, and even more obscure folk metal. Now in lime green! 12:58, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

No worries, feel free to remove it. ~ 13:05, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Umm help?

Hellooo......? I'm a n00b, and have no sodding clue! please help! I'm asking you beacuse you're (as far as I can tell) the only admin to look at my article "the legend of zelda, the Oracle of seasons. My name is Jordan(ish) and I don't know how exactly to upload pictures. Also is it possible to alter the Title of the article after it has been written? Cheers J--Jordan(ish) 20:56, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

First of all, welcome to the most deranged wiki on the planet. Second, try to read the links Mhaille left for you on your talk page - you got some good directions on how to move things around here.

As for your questions: uploading picture - on the left side of the screen you have the upload image/file button, that's where you upload it. For title change, you need to move the article to a new location (name). Use the move tab which located on the top of your screen. Let me know if you managed. ~ 07:50, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Allah's True Prophet Muhammad

OK, I have put my writing trousers on for the evening. Can you leave the above alone for a bit? I have a MAJOR restructuring job to do on it... Give me a few hours to change it, and you can start hacking the hell out of what I have done after that... Basically, I'm thinking we do it as Muhammad being the leader of the Islam political party. Do it from the slant of considering Islam as purely political, and not really about religion. Hmm, maybe that's too factual... Well.. That's the idea. Kinda... MrN  Fork you! 15:53, Jun 19

Why not look at it from the historical perspective? He did have quite an interesting life. ~ 16:16, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Hmm... I'm doing some reading around the subject now. I think the page needs a major re-work whatever happens. You are not a fan of the political idea? MrN  Fork you! 16:26, Jun 19

I have, unfortunately, a degree in political science, and if I ever finish my MA I'll have another one. But on this specific issue I'd go first with the historical approach and maybe have a section about the political angle. Whatever it is, it needs major reworking. ~ 17:42, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

I hear ya. I'm in the middle of one MOTHER of an edit right now... It's probably going to take me ages to do this. I hope you will like the results... MrN  Fork you! 18:06, Jun 19

Well, that's my "big" changed done now. Hopefully I did not removed anything good. I think some of what is still there is still a bit pants, but I guess we need to write a lot more. I think the "his life" section can be expanded a lot, and something about most of the other key values should also be included in the politics section. If you think my whole idea here regarding calling him a politician is poor, just fix it as ya see fit. Tis no biggie for me this. :) MrN  Fork you! 09:38, Jun 20

I started mending it a bit, to give it more of an Ancient- Arabic taste. What dio you tink? BTW, the names I put it, well, some of them at least, have some interesting meanings :) ~ 15:50, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Looking good. Yea, I like what you have done there. It's probably better if it's written in a more formal/classic style. I was kinda going with using many of the actual real names, but blurring them with up-to-date stuff like the pikeys (who live in caravans). I guess many of our readers will not know who they are (unless they have seen the film snatch) so it's probably better like this, and I'm convinced that the direction you have taken it is probably more suitable. I might try to work the FAST line back in somehow, but maybe it's not suited now that it's being written in a more local style. Me thinks you have the advantage over me here on knowledge about the subject matter, but I will try to keep up! MrN  Fork you! 15:58, Jun 20

So, is there a special meaning to the Elvis quote? ~ 17:26, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Nothing other than the obvious. You know about the girl getting in trouble for naming her toy after him? It's not a great quote really, but we do currently have an Elvis section lower down (which will probably go when we add more material). I actually preferred the Dean Martin quote myself, but neither are that great. I just put it there for now really... Kill it if it's pissing ya off. MrN  Fork you! 20:10, Jun 20

It doesn't really piss me off, just doesn't add anything. I'll try to think of something. ~ 20:26, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

On Recently Deleted Articles

If you could please restore my Mountain Goat, Punic wars, Laser Goat, and whatever else you have deleted of mine, to my user page, i would most appreciate it. I'd like to improve them. ~ Mgr. ManEatingBadger

Done. Make sure you improve them significantly before you move them back. Use pee review. And personally I'd lose most of the templates you were using. ~ 20:54, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Where are they, then? and, just out of curiosity, where did you find that "AlCalzone" picture on your user page? it didn't happen by chance to come from a recently deleted page called "Bagel Mafia" created by my friend User:Doctadoom, now, would it? thanks ~ Mgr. ManEatingBadger

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8

UnSignpost abandoned by creators! by UU Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all. by DJ Irreverent UU Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot by UU Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler by UU In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".

Check out these pages! If people are gonna do it, might as well keep 'em off the streets Tuber tales The Cult of QVFD spreads! Don't think there's enough to vote for? Fag to the rescue! From our logs: 13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left) 21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.38.121.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE]) 09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.128.148.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy) 04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.107.246.135 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day ‎ (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?) 01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.2.209.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.) 17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 84.168.60.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.) Biopic of the Week Zombiebaron ~ Zombiebaron? Zombiebaron, zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Strong Zombiebaron. Text-based Zombiebaron. Also, Zombiebaron. Finally, Zombiebaron. Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Bubble Wrap and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though. MrN UU's delete reason of the week: The_possible_lovechild_of_Mark_Twain_and_Oscar_Wilde ~ Delete - Holy crap, I've actually read this at least twice. I can't understand why it never occured to me to put it on VFD --Kip the Dip

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:04, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

Morning

Don't mind me, just road testing my new sig and making about my hundredth visit to your talk page. --UU - natter 09:53, Jun 23

Nice one. And top of the mornin to ya as well sir. ~ 10:42, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Morning? Hey, they have those here, too! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 11:02, Jun 23

I think that your concept of what a sun looks like might be essentially different than UU's. For you - sun=sun. For him=sun cloud cover with some light coming out of it. ~ 11:05, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Actually, for me lately, sun has equaled 'too hot to go outside,' as opposed to a few months ago when sun equaled 'too cold to go outside.' My state's weather needs to make up its mind. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 11:13, Jun 23

Actually, people may call me crazy, but I swear I saw blue sky this morning! Blue, I tells ya! Everyone around here tells me I'm hallucinating - blue isn't a colour you associate with the sky, it's just added in to Hollywood films because it looks more photogenic. But I swear there must be more to it than that, because I definitely saw some blue up above, and there ain't no planes that big! However, you're right Mordillo, the sun's a particularly bright shade of grey this morning. --UU - natter 11:28, Jun 23

You should visit Tel Aviv then. The weather is very decisive over there during summer time. 35 degrees. 80% humidity. Each. And. Every. Fucking. Day. ~ 11:42, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Forum:Qua

Hey Mordillo... you HAVE to be kidding! Wow...   Le Cejak • <15:29, 23 Jun 2008>

Kidding? Nope. I never kid when it comes to NXWave. I'm writing a very elaborate post at the moment, so how about you hold on before you run around screaming bloody murder? ~ 15:33, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh wow...No one ever tells me anything! - [16:03 23 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Check the forums dood. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 16:06, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Just read it, punk. - [16:11 23 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Fine! Go vote or something! See if I care! *pout* Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 16:13, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

help me im a noob no really urgent help is needed

That, in case you were wondering who forgot his signature, was Henrythegreat. (Anyone could easily have figured that out by checking the history, of course, but I'm just saving you some trouble/annoyance.) I recommend helping him, because as you might be able to gather from his contributions, he is quite the n00b. Oh, and Henry? If you're reading this, please read HTBFANJS. » DJ "Reaper of Fail" Gentoo, now with wit, sarcasm, and even more obscure folk metal. Now in lime green! 00:26, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

Response

I made a full response on my talk page. I'm sorry that you felt attacked, grampa :)   Le Cejak • <20:52, 23 Jun 2008>

Hi

You ROCK MAN!!!!!!!!!

Io ti lo da una milla belle ragazze

Here they are.

Feast your eyes on this chick. Wow. Nice Breasts!!

No Ulterior Motive Here....

...but should my Erogenous Zones have been featured yesterday when it was in the lead on VFH? ;) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hmmm...I was actually out last night, and when I came back I was suffering from minor drukness. Hey, if I'm officially the master of VFH, can I get a badge? ~ 11:51, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

I'm making it as we speak! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Your post

How can i email you? Why did you revert my edits, at least you could have improved article, is wikipedia wikia in any charge over these articles here, does jimbo/jewbo have any say?How do you sustain yourselves!? All words allowed?

Wikipedia has no control over edits and policy on Uncyclopedia. Almost anything is allowed, particularly clever satire which is the purpose of Uncyclopedia. Pointless trolling and attacks of other websites and individuals isn't something that we welcome. Other than that you have almost free reign. Try reading the user guides in the Community Portal pages as that should help you to learn those things that Uncyclopedia likes and the things it doesn't.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Edits reverted? Try HTBFANJS and BGBU, particularly HTBFANJS. HTBFANJS is also worth a read. Did I mention HTBFANJS? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 00:44, Jun 25

Thanx, as long as I get right on my free space to talk about something i am cool, including bs-ing wikipedia administrators wikipedos, whats link to above help? I must admit i did not see words like fuc on wikipedia pages, is there something to it? Give me your email, i have some touchy things to talk to you about...

Edsuxcux 21:27, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

You keep ignoring what people tell you, and frankly I'm starting to get tired. YOU ARE HERE TO WRITE HUMOR. You are not here to TARNISH OTHER WIKIS OR WRITER OR ADMINISTRATORS OF OTHER WIKIS. Not in your space not anywhere else. If you don't have any humor value to contribute here, than you are in the wrong wiki. Also, I fail to see any touchy issues we might want to discuss. ~ 21:31, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Well dude, there are, but show me direct rule where i cant write good stuff on my space, its mine, so nobody can touch that, i explained how to get in touch...listen up for a change! With all these edits you no better than wikipedos...you contradict yourself when you say people can write pretty much all they want...—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Edsuxcux (talk • contribs)

The rule is here. It's the first rule. The one that says "Be funny and not just stupid". Satire is funny. "Some of the biggest motherfuckers are Lateral aka Roy Voronic fag and WhiteMonkey mystery, aka monkey spank!" is stupid. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 08:52, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

Also, do not try word games here. There is no "my space" inside Uncyclopedia. You can write within your space as a sandbox and that's it. This does not give you immunity or liability in case I think you're way over the line. Discussion over, case closed. ~ 13:00, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

On Adam Carolla man

I don't know what it is that the guy wrote, but Adam Carolla is hardly a vanity topic. He's not the most well known guy in the world, but he is famous. But if the page is in fact all vanity, I'll just tell him to restart it better than it was. He's been informed of our "make humor accessible" policy, and he seems intrigued by it, so I'm sure he'll have no problem with it. And from what I understand the article was pretty short anyways. Anyways, thanks for the help mate. Cheers, and all that. -RAHB 09:32, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

No problem. I'd suggest he recreates it in his space, to avoid further trouble. ~ 09:36, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Yeah definitely, I've made sure to emphasize that nothing leaves his namespace until I or another experienced editor approve of it. Thanks again. -RAHB 10:01, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Hello

This is Sicilianman. Please don't ban me. I will be good.But can you at least to me a favor? Can you please delete this page? Here is a link to this Unnews page. http://uncyclopedia.org/index.php?title=Uncyclopedia:Pee_Review/Orthodox_Monsterist_Church&t=20080624100504

Thank you.

re: UN:HS

Hey joo! I wuz thinkin' n' wonderin' if I shood be on teh list er not. Wut u think?   Le Cejak • <22:17, 25 Jun 2008>

Any special reason not to? ~ 22:31, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

it makes me feel weird... I dunno... what do you think, Mordillo?   Le Cejak • <22:41, 25 Jun 2008>

Why? I think you should stay, you certainly earned your place there. ~ 22:59, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

It feels like I'm bragging, is all. Fag came to my talk page, talking about awards... made me feel bad... Well, MrN reverted it, anyway.   Le Cejak • <23:05, 25 Jun 2008>

that bastard will continue to revert any such pants edits from Mr Cajek until such time as Mr Cajek gives a good reason why said Cajek should not be in the hall of shame... MrN  Fork you! 23:09, Jun 25

that bastard decided for us, I guess. I trust him. I guess I'll have to think of a reason, then...   Le Cejak • <23:19, 25 Jun 2008>

Rollback

Yeah, so I haven't been on this talk page in a couple of days, and I'm suffering withdrawl symptoms. So here I am - morning Mordillo! Also, I seem to recall that if a user wants rollback, the accepted process is to convince a few admins on IRC. Well, for those of us who spend little to no time on IRC, that would be something of a problem. So I figure I'll ask politely on a few admins' talk pages, starting here, of course! What do you reckon, real rollback for UU? It would be rather handy for my underwater maintenance processes... --UU - natter 08:58, Jun 26

Goes to show you should come over to IRC more often. Why, just last night we had a huge party involving multiple penii. `Tis was great I tell you. No objections from me on this one. Also, top of the morning to ya UU. ~ 09:03, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

'Twould appear I also missed something or other to do with the worst 100. Ah well. 90% of the time I have been on IRC, it's been dull as ditchwater anyway. And it's normally blocked from work, as I'm sure you can empathise. And basically: IRC = meh. Now, who should I bother next? Hmm, I reckon the inflatable admin... --UU - natter 09:12, Jun 26

Better him than the decomposing one. I actually tried to access the IRC once from here and it raised all sorts of network alarms that went back to me...luckily I work for that department so I got away with some glaring looks....~ 09:20, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9

Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy! By Qua Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Cabal (there is no cabal) itself. Cajek, the UnSignpost's co-founder, commented on the shortage of interesting stuff saying "...". Mostly this is a time of crisis for the UnSignpost which has been falling into a state of crisis for a while now. and we need you to help. All you have to do is send money to the UnSignpost offices. And please, refer freinds to do the same please! We need it more then you. Penis Man returns! By THEDUDEMAN 120px At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned. Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki By Qua In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days. Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins By Cajek and whoever else Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud? "I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine. Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys!

Check out these pages! Try winning this game U...N...P...R...O...V...I...S...E...! link link From our logs: 00:29, THEDUDEMAN (Talk | contribs) (uploaded a new version of "Image:483922.jpg": <3 you Zombiebaron! ) 20:10, 22 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.179.141.146 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (No means *no*) 06:21, 22 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked .cx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Oh for fuck's sake) 05:30, 22 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Dunquin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Irishg defence forces are a bunch of wankers who were dominated by the brits who are even greater wankers. They eat potatos, drink guinness and fight imaginery wars) 03:42, 22 June 2008 Hindleyite (Talk | contribs) blocked 217.54.74.232 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. ) 12:42, 21 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Page blanker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I wonder if you realize just how easy your name makes it for me to permaban you...) 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.) 08:48, 20 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Bl4nker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (LOL YOU BLANKED SOMETHING THAS SO FUNNIES. Now fuck off, eh?) 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: (No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) 14:59, June 25, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked KBD5196 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I hope this ban log gets featured in the UnSignpost. Also, you are a wanking blanker. Or a blanking wanker. Whichever.) Gripe of the Week MantiBot, Yes a bot, this bot has been going around causing terrorism to articles in the form of interlinking. Not only does he support terrorism, he also supports the de-opping of TheLedBalloon who has been known to hate every foreign country that's not America on the Planet. What's worse, he isn't even properly marked as a bot. FU Mantiwhore! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Adolf Hitler and the Crappy Translation Quote of the Week: "Listen, here's the story: The other night I saw Jackass the Movie 2 and they extracted sperm from a horse so one of the dudes could drink it. It was that moment when I realized how little I know about nature, or rather, animals and their private parts. You see, it turns out horsies have big ol' peepees, and the first picture I expertly designed was actually close to the reality, and I needed to start from scratch on a new picture. The result of that is what you see on the right, the one with the bigger censored penis." -So So

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:37, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9

Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy! By Qua Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Cabal (there is no cabal) itself. Cajek, the UnSignpost's co-founder, commented on the shortage of interesting stuff saying "...". Mostly this is a time of crisis for the UnSignpost which has been falling into a state of crisis for a while now. and we need you to help. All you have to do is send money to the UnSignpost offices. And please, refer freinds to do the same please! We need it more then you. Penis Man returns! By THEDUDEMAN 120px At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned. Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki By Qua In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days. Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins By Cajek and whoever else Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud? "I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine. Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys!

Check out these pages! Try winning this game U...N...P...R...O...V...I...S...E...! link link From our logs: 00:29, THEDUDEMAN (Talk | contribs) (uploaded a new version of "Image:483922.jpg": <3 you Zombiebaron! ) 20:10, 22 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.179.141.146 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (No means *no*) 06:21, 22 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked .cx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Oh for fuck's sake) 05:30, 22 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Dunquin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Irishg defence forces are a bunch of wankers who were dominated by the brits who are even greater wankers. They eat potatos, drink guinness and fight imaginery wars) 03:42, 22 June 2008 Hindleyite (Talk | contribs) blocked 217.54.74.232 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. ) 12:42, 21 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Page blanker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I wonder if you realize just how easy your name makes it for me to permaban you...) 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.) 08:48, 20 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Bl4nker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (LOL YOU BLANKED SOMETHING THAS SO FUNNIES. Now fuck off, eh?) 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: (No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) 14:59, June 25, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked KBD5196 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I hope this ban log gets featured in the UnSignpost. Also, you are a wanking blanker. Or a blanking wanker. Whichever.) Gripe of the Week MantiBot, Yes a bot, this bot has been going around causing terrorism to articles in the form of interlinking. Not only does he support terrorism, he also supports the de-opping of TheLedBalloon who has been known to hate every foreign country that's not America on the Planet. What's worse, he isn't even properly marked as a bot. FU Mantiwhore! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Adolf Hitler and the Crappy Translation Quote of the Week: "Listen, here's the story: The other night I saw Jackass the Movie 2 and they extracted sperm from a horse so one of the dudes could drink it. It was that moment when I realized how little I know about nature, or rather, animals and their private parts. You see, it turns out horsies have big ol' peepees, and the first picture I expertly designed was actually close to the reality, and I needed to start from scratch on a new picture. The result of that is what you see on the right, the one with the bigger censored penis." -So So

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:38, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

מה שלומך?

(פאי)84.109.11.188 04:22, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

שלומי מצוין, תודה. עובד קשה גם בחיים האמיתיים וגם פה :)

מה שלומך?

~ 07:48, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

סבבה... אנחנו חושבים על "לגנוב" לכם תחרות... את נוב החודש זה נראה כמו רעיון טוב אז לקחנו... גם לקחנו לכם את יום ה-A ושינינו אותו ליום ליום ה-א' אני מקווה שלא איכפת לכם... רציתי לשאול, מה אתם עושים באחד באפריל? 84.109.11.188 10:45, 1 July 2008 (UTC)(פאי)

ANI ROEE SHEAHMARחT LO MARIחH ET SFAT HKODESH... P:

אכפת לנו? ממש לא. למה שיהיה אכפת לנו? אנחנו תמיד שמחים לעזור. בכל אחד באפריל יש משהו אחר, השנה ספציפית הסרנו את ההגנה מהדף הראשי, היה בלאגן שווה ביותר. אתה יכול להסתכל על ההיסטוריה של הדף הראשי ב- 1 באפריל ותראה איזה בלאגן היה. ~ 11:27, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

אנחנו חשבנו באחד באפריל להפוך את הדף הראשי לדף הראשי שלכם ורציתי לשאול אם בתור מחווה הדדית תוכלו לעשות את אותו דבר... נשמע לך כמו רעיון טוב?

אני בספק אם החברה פה יסכימו לזה אבל לא יזיק לנסות את זה לקראת אפריל - תזכיר לי ככה שבועיים לפני ונפתח על זה פורום. ~ 07:40, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

בכל מקרה תודה... למה שלא יסכימו? מדובר רק על יום אחד... אמרת בעצמך שכל שנה עושים משהו אחר וזה באמת שונה...

כי עברית לא ממש מדברת לרוב החברה פה, אפילו שזה לכאורה מעניין לשים שפה שחלק ממנה חושבים שנראית כמו קלינגונית מדוברת על הדף הראשי. אבל כמו שאמרתי - אפשר לדבר על זה באמצע מרץ, יש עוד מספיק זמן עד אז. מה קורה אצלכם? הבלאגן חוגג? ~ 19:48, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

you have no idea... RaymondAK-47 23:18, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

Sorry

Shouldn't have categorized them as per Pandora's Box, but I really am intrigued as to how many damn socks there were though. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:31, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

More than enough. ~ 14:45, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Put you through enough shit this lifetime. Thanks anyway. :D --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:22, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Template thing response!

I apologize. It's my first time. -- Hanyouman 14:53, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

No need to apologize, it's quite all right. ~ 14:58, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

something

is going on in eincyclopedia. its possible that yanon left the site. we're not sure right now... i just thought you would like to know... RaymondAK-47 19:38, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the update. I hardly think you've seen the last of him, unfortunately for you all. ~ 21:19, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Time is but a window! Death is but a doorway! I'll be back! Muahahahahaha.... --Yanon 23:02, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

No no, it's not like that - you should have said it in very poor English. Try again. ~ 07:20, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Umm... Hallo unicyclers, am I Yanon, pleased to be meeting you. Can I may take funtimes of this here? --Yanon 17:38, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Ive started a project to welcome beginners into eincyclopedia, and started by making an FAQ page and a beginner's guide (which apparently eincyclopedia didn't have...) and the NOOB of the month award. i know you care about eincyclopedia, so if you have another idea you think could help make new users into active ones i would be honored to hear it. RaymondAK-47 23:13, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

I think that the best thing we ever did here with noobs, was the adopt a noob program, that really helped a lot of noobs around here. Also, you might want to update your welcome message a bit to make it a bit more...fun...it's very official at the moment. ~ 07:35, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

i already planned to do update the welcome template, about the adopt a noob campaign it wont be as effective in eincyclopedia because we don't have so many noobs, some of our "experienced" users aren't so great in editing and being funny, and most of those who do wont really adopt a noob... besides me i think there are only three users who would agree to help out. right now I'm working on the guides and the templates, and the noob of the month competition. but after I'm finished with that i might start on an adopt a noob campaign. thank you.

p.s. since when are you a sock puppet? RaymondAK-47 12:15, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Do you mean the bot template? That's a bot template, not a sockpuppet one. And it's a joke. ~ 13:06, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

You're right: it's no joke. Aren't we all God's bots? ...wait, sorry about that. Sometimes I just can't help but spread the word.   Le Cejak • <13:08, 03 Jul 2008>

QUICK TIE HIM UP! /me puts a gimp mask on Cajek ~ 13:18, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

PLEASE DON'T GIMP ME, YA JOO! I'll be a good, traditional Christian! I PROMISE TO RESPECT YOUR RELIJUN!   Le Cejak • <13:21, 03 Jul 2008>

I don't give a rat's ass about that! I just want to desecrate your body! ~ 13:22, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

IT SAYS IN THE BOOK OF HOOBIDEEDOO THAT CORPSE FUCKING IS A SIN! SPARE MY LITTLE BROKEN BODY OR YOU'LL BE SPANKED DOWN TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Le Cejak • <13:25, 03 Jul 2008>

I'D RATHER BE SPANKED IN HELL THEN LET YOU GO! ~ 13:26, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

YOU MEAN YOU WON'T LET ME LEAVE YOUR TALK PAGE??!? ARE YOU THAT STARVED FOR CONVERSATION/CORPSE FUCKING?   Le Cejak • <13:28, 03 Jul 2008>

I AM OMNIPOTENT. GET IT? OMNI-IMPOTENT?! HAR HAR ~ 13:29, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

your all crazy aren't you... RaymondAK-47 18:59, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

"If you don't have a psychiatric evaluation to back this up, you are liable for a law suit". Sorry, I couldn't help myself. ~ 19:01, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

whoa! oh.. sorry... thought you were Yanon for a minute... RaymondAK-47 22:26, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

its finally complete!!!! muhahahahahahaahahahahahahah!!!!!!111one raycyclopedia ╬ talk - if the opposite of pro is con. then what is the opposite of progress? 14:33, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

Hello Mordillo

I just would like to say that I been thinking a lot. I am sorry that I called you an asshole by e-mail. My anger clouded me with its anger ways. Peace be with you. Italianman 04:06, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

I don't get it

So 194.80.21.10 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser) is creating vanity stubs, and I'm vaguely thinking of Ban Patrol, and I notice Codeine seemingly banned that IP for 3 years in April 2007. Odd. Then you huffed the stubs, so I didn't bother with BP, but came here instead. Any thoughts? What's with the ban thing? --UU - natter 10:09, Jul 2

That's the second time I see this in the last month. Must be some sort of bug in the wiki software. I'll check it with sannse. Howz life? ~ 19:41, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

Life? Life's busy as a bastard. How's yours? --UU - natter 08:08, Jul 3

Somewhat like that. Moving into a new place in three weeks or so as well...I need a serious drinking session as well. I think you should get the other poop guy and we can gather around for a good ole hangover meeting. ~ 08:12, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Hangover? Hangover.... No, sorry, can't help you. Before I quit drinking, I was one of those annoying bastards that never got them. Now, I'm just the annoying bastard that's still sober at the end of the night because he doesn't have more than one drink. Which should make my stag do interesting... Is it that Amsterdam place you mentioned you're moving to? They do say that moving and getting married are two of the most stressful things you can do, so you must really be starting to feel it now! --UU - natter 08:20, Jul 3

Yep, going from the outskirts to the dead center of Amsterdam. I think I might have to sporadically ban on a whim, that could release the stress! So when and where is your stag planned? ~ 08:36, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

The exotically fair city of Norwich. Which is where I live. Well, it's cheap! Paintball, off-road go-karting and all-you-can-eat-Chinese should do the trick nicely, I reckon. Then the rest of 'em can get pissed and I can watch and laugh! Oh, and I suspect a strip club may well feature at some point. How about you? --UU - natter 08:46, Jul 3

Norwich! I new it! I hear Mordillo lives in a Dam fine place also. It's smoking over there apparently. /me downs UU's pint, cocks his paintball gun and points it at Mordillo. MrN  Fork you! 08:57, Jul 3

Don't know yet, probably somewhere in the Galilee. I suspect extensive drinking, army and sex stories to be included. We did the paintball thing with one of my mates, he got shot in the face just under the mask, and during the wedding it looked like he had an enormous zit on his face :) ~ 09:01, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

I dunno whose pint that was MrN - I only drink whisky. I'd be more careful what I drink if I were you... --UU - natter 12:13, Jul 3

I might have been my semen sample. ~ 12:52, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Coming from the west country I'm used to a pint with a bit of tang to it... MrN  Fork you! 12:59, Jul 3

My teddy!

...is now on your userpage! Oh yayayayayayay! He's so cuddly... - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[16:00 3 July]

You only just noticed?! It has been there for ages! ~ 16:28, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

I only saw it on your talkpage. Guess I haven't been watching your userspace as intently as I should have been. - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[17:17 3 July]

You're scary uncle Yettie... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:29, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

***SPAM*** Yoinxx has you!

JOIN YOINXX TODAY! You'll get: A large scape of Co-Yoinxxers. Money to do stuff with Buying things Probably buy a house It's better 'cos: Yoinxx Oceania Grue Army Creation Date July 2007 (1st) August 2007 (2nd) August 2007 (3rd) Creator Gert5* Jocke Pirat* High Gen. Grue* Value (UBP) 4.3 UER 2.8 UER 2.5 UER Clients+Creator 21+1 9+1 7+1 Clients allowed Everyone UNCYC members Grue Army members Callsign (UBP) YNX VAL CRED So Click here or give us a call at 1-800-YOINXX-NOW.com This newsletter is from the Gert5 Spamification Service and can be unsubscribed from at User talk:Gert5 now.

--Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 13:39, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

About Banning User Amaninbo

Hello Mordillo.

I am Amaninbo. I am a writer at Yansiklopedi and was translating the Anna Vissi article at Turkish page of uncyclopedia. I have finished the translation and was uploading now the pictures of this page.

You can see the page original at:

http://yansiklopedi.org/wiki/Anna_Vissi

Please remove the band in order me to allow to finish the Anna Vissi article.

Thank you.

Already had. It just seemed that you're uploading loads of pictures without a good reason, sorry about that. ~ 15:20, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

Finished now. There had been a couple of pictures the page I was translating...

what do you think about

the inspectors in eincyclopedia? a recent argument started in eincyclopedia in which suza threatened to leave. again. what do you think about it? RAYcyclopedia ╬ talk - if the opposite of pro is con. then what is the opposite of progress? 15:52, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

I said it in the past, I think they're unnecessary. You don't need 7 sysops and 5 "inspectors" in such a small site. You can do all of the chores you're currently making without having an official stance, which is really unnecessary. You also have a paradox when inspectors, who are not yet "veteran users"(something I'm against as well) can do all sort of official business around without having the right to vote, and possibly without knowing what the hell they're doing either. I said it before, for such a small site your hierarchy is way too complicated. Going back to the most fundemental thing: giving people management positions is not the right way to bring new users - funny articles will. ~ 16:06, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

well, right now the sysops aren't logging in the site at all. and me and my friend are the only thing thats standing between vandals and the site. now suza wants to make sure that there are only sysops. and thats it. the sysops in the site are useless. there not looking at new articles and dealing with votes. and with out two of the inspectors the site would freeze. i started a vote to make sure that the case you mentioned (about new users becoming inspectors) and as it turns out, the problem is, in fact, Yanon. the thing is, Yanon thinks that in some point every user will become an inspector. and that then that users will become a sysop. I'm starting to think it some kind of social experiment for him... RAYcyclopedia ╬ talk - if the opposite of pro is con. then what is the opposite of progress? 16:40, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

If it is, in fact, the way you describe it, then your problem isn't the fact that you need inspectors to maintain the site, you need efficient sysops, and that is a completely new discussion. But the problem remains: too many "official" management members = no writers, no humor, no fun.

“Have the humility to listen to people who are better than you”

~ guess who on guess what

~ 09:24, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

i agree with you, but right now we have inactive sysops and a lot of the users (and by that i mean Yanon) think that we don't need new sysops. and further more, hes only goal in the site right now is to become a bureaucrat (or a beereaucrat) and he doesn't care about any of that... RAYcyclopedia ╬ talk - if the opposite of pro is con. then what is the opposite of progress? 10:17, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

As far as I can tell, and I'm not really looking that much any more, you don't need more sysops, you need efficient ones. And as for that goal you mentioned, my opinion on that is well known. ~ 15:24, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

You have got spies everywhere

I see... I think he got the idea... Might turn out to be a good user that guy. MrN  Fork you! 18:16, Jul 6

Yep. Just made sure that the next schmuck who uses that IP doesn't get the wrong "fuck you" impression...~ 22:17, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

User:Edsuxcux

Spot of advice (in case you don't know the full background): this user is very bad news. He has a history of major harassment of editors, both on Wikipedia and off-wiki via e-mail, under many many sockpuppets - Google Wikipedia and BoxingWear [2]. After general banning, he moved on to Encyclopedia Dramatica as "Wikitruthguy", again working under many socks, to write bizarre attack pages about everyone who'd offended him at Wikipedia. After being banned at ED too, now it appears he thought Uncyclopedia could be used as a venue for hate pages about both Wikipedia and ED admins. Typical pattern is fishing for your e-mail and/or e-mailing random users asking for help, and then turning seriously nasty once you're in communication. I see he was blocked, but expect socks. 86.145.92.159 02:41, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the heads up, although we already figured out the guy is trouble and as you've stated he is now blocked. As soon as we find any socks we'll get read of them too. Thanks again. ~ 07:50, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

What trouble, I dont have other accounts and I am not the above users boxgoogle nor wikitruthguy, if you want to block me I have no problem with it, fine, but i just read your warning, i was to contribute, the above user who left you this message is wikipedo, i was not banned anywhere else but you did say above my userspace is available. Whatever, there are other places to go and better ones... but i hope you are understanding person, so far i have not seen that as you act as wikipedo and you listen to people, ip proxy generataed from uk, great hypocrite as they you are, its clear wikipedos dont want truth to be told on themselves,

did i ever threaten you, never! you want good contributor gone, no problemo-Edsuxcux

Thanx

Why thanky you for such a kind thing to do, Mordillo--Readmesoon 16:32, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

My pleasure. ~ 20:10, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

My very good reason

Because it's only 3 hours old and has not proven itself bad yet. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Evil Pi (talk • contribs)

Is that so? Do you have any idea what the term Reichsfuhrer represents or better still who was the original one? Did you ever read your history or is it just seems amusing to you to play around with "cool political entities?" How exactly is it going prove itself funny? ~ 20:23, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

Just so you know...

I am most defiantly am not trying to cause drama here. I created the above because I thought it was funny. If you don't, or you think this could cause drama, PLEASE delete it. I promise not to say a peep about it. Well, I might say "pants", but then that is to be expected... ;) MrN  Fork you! 20:28, Jul 8

How exactly will that cause drama? It's obviously a pants article! Just don't forget to categorize it :) ~ 20:35, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

HeHe. Well, I rate my chances of this surviving more than a day at rather low, but we will see I guess... MrN  Fork you! 20:41, Jul 8

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted... No surprise really. Ironic considering the article it linked to... MrN  Fork you! 00:47, Jul 9

WBC CD box set

this page was on its way to being good enough to nominate for featured article

Just because some of us have lives, and dont have countless hours to spend editing wiki, unki, WorldOfWarcraft ing, Chris Cocker Wanking, Runescaping, Joan Rivers Dildo Licking, Second life living, Emo-ing and eating cold pizza, dont take it out on me, and my rather decent page.

UN Huff it immediately or feel my wrath biatch

(pretty please)

(It was rather good and imagine my dissapointment, upon showing it to my friend, who has quite a bit more technical know-how than me to tart it up, to a decent level, and it not existing.)

P.S. Reply to me asap

B.T.W. If you do not reply within a week I will destroy you and your dominion, your dog, your mother, and your collection of Albanian Monkey Porn

Thankyou For Your Time

Typically I'd say, no problem, you can have it back in your space to work on it. But since you made it so clear you're a charming person, you can bugger off to whatever dark humid corner you came from. Here is your reply, and guess what! It's not even a week past! How lucky are you! ~ 22:01, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

Let's forget I had my weekly temper tantrum. You got your article back. Make me proud. ~ 22:37, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

Yea, just don't threaten to mess with the Albanian Monkey Porn again eh? MrN  Fork you! 23:06, Jul 8

I was just following the guidelines

and being post post-ironic

Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid.

You did not just tell me to read BGBU did you? ~ 21:08, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

Autocrosser

What happened to Autocross ???? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 204.249.77.1 (talk • contribs)

The {{WIP}} tag on it expired, and seems like a messy list rather than a complete article. Do you want it restored to keep working on it? ~ 08:45, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for vote

Thanks for the vote;)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:04, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

Nist gafloygin und nist gstroygen

Goldilocks and the Three Bears won't just make it onto VFH without some help... Yes, I know I'm whoring, but whats a girl to do? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:14, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

I'll do better, I'll feature it :) ~ 10:49, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

July 10^th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!

Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon! By DJ Irreverent Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste. Successes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[complete success]! ~ Annoying Article Fuck not this again... ~ Captain Obvious Free publicity in exchange for; 1) Shitty memes 2) Dragging up shitty memes ~ Euroipods There's more you can do... Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of respected member 81.101.207.62 "Hey look a donut". Amen. Our lines are open to your pledges 25/7. Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help. Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now. Modusoperandi OP'ed!? By: THEDUDEMAN This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM. UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak By: UU Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything)

Check out these pages! Colonization? CMC? Is that some new kind of drug? Rollback: Privilege or Curse? Dimwits beware Cajek launches attempt to kill Wikia servers? From our logs: 19:56, 30 June 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a sloppy wet blowjob ‎ 19:42, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) changed group membership for Modusoperandi from (none) to sysop ‎ (I asked on IRC for a funny reason tto put here, and no-one could come up with one. Losers.) 22:39, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.42.211.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking articles will not compensate for your small penis)) (Block log); 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) (blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) (Huff log); 18:21 . . Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Hate Crew official fan club": Shock to the page/and you're to blame/baby, you give stubs/a bad name) (Huff log); 20:12 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Cabal/Cabal9": content was: 'there is a cabal' (and the only contributor was located and executed by the cabal. There is no cabal) (Block log); 22:30 . . Mhaille (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Revel4tion with an expiry time of infinite: and on the eight day he fucked off) 10:58, 8 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.95.139.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (You partly piss me off. The rest of me is in love. I'm torn. Come back later. I hate you. I love you!) Biopic of the Week MrN9000 ~ One of the more "seasoned" users on Uncyc, at a sprightly 360 years old, MrN was bitten by a pair of radioactive Y-fronts in his youth, bestowing upon him the awesome power of pants. Fortunately for us here at Uncyc, he decided to use those powers for good, and he is now our reigning king of poop, featured author and amateur tap dancer (hea, a man can have more than one hobby!) Quote of the Week <Codeine> here's a thought <Codeine> If you download music, supposedly you're damaging the music industry <Codeine> but <Codeine> if you download childporn, you're *supporting* the childporn industry <Codeine> I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS <Ljlego> moral of the story: <Ljlego> childporn is the way to go <zombieninja> XD <Run-DLL> thanks for the moral go-ahead Crappy deleted Stub of the Week "this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#" - From Blue chocolate Reason to take a Wikibreak of the Week (Admin Special) "You dream that you're being deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes." - Mordillo

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:31, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

July 10^th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!

Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon! By DJ Irreverent Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste. Successes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[complete success]! ~ Annoying Article Fuck not this again... ~ Captain Obvious Free publicity in exchange for; 1) Shitty memes 2) Dragging up shitty memes ~ Euroipods There's more you can do... Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of respected member 81.101.207.62 "Hey look a donut". Amen. Our lines are open to your pledges 25/7. Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help. Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now. Modusoperandi OP'ed!? By: THEDUDEMAN This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM. UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak By: UU Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything)

Check out these pages! Colonization? CMC? Is that some new kind of drug? Rollback: Privilege or Curse? Dimwits beware Cajek launches attempt to kill Wikia servers? From our logs: 19:56, 30 June 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a sloppy wet blowjob ‎ 19:42, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) changed group membership for Modusoperandi from (none) to sysop ‎ (I asked on IRC for a funny reason tto put here, and no-one could come up with one. Losers.) 22:39, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.42.211.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking articles will not compensate for your small penis)) (Block log); 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) (blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) (Huff log); 18:21 . . Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Hate Crew official fan club": Shock to the page/and you're to blame/baby, you give stubs/a bad name) (Huff log); 20:12 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Cabal/Cabal9": content was: 'there is a cabal' (and the only contributor was located and executed by the cabal. There is no cabal) (Block log); 22:30 . . Mhaille (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Revel4tion with an expiry time of infinite: and on the eight day he fucked off) 10:58, 8 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.95.139.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (You partly piss me off. The rest of me is in love. I'm torn. Come back later. I hate you. I love you!) Biopic of the Week MrN9000 ~ One of the more "seasoned" users on Uncyc, at a sprightly 360 years old, MrN was bitten by a pair of radioactive Y-fronts in his youth, bestowing upon him the awesome power of pants. Fortunately for us here at Uncyc, he decided to use those powers for good, and he is now our reigning king of poop, featured author and amateur tap dancer (hea, a man can have more than one hobby!) Quote of the Week <Codeine> here's a thought <Codeine> If you download music, supposedly you're damaging the music industry <Codeine> but <Codeine> if you download childporn, you're *supporting* the childporn industry <Codeine> I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS <Ljlego> moral of the story: <Ljlego> childporn is the way to go <zombieninja> XD <Run-DLL> thanks for the moral go-ahead Crappy deleted Stub of the Week "this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#" - From Blue chocolate Reason to take a Wikibreak of the Week (Admin Special) "You dream that you're being deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes." - Mordillo

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:31, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

Hmm

You can deal with this one... He has not been listening to a word I'm saying anyway... MrN  Fork you! 14:56, Jul 12

I hope he's listening now :) ~ 09:52, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

Geelong

What happened to Geelong?? And what excactly is a "vfd cool down period."?? 10:46, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

It was voted for deletion. And since someone kept recreating it, I protected it for a month. ~ 09:51, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

Link to a specific section on a page

How do you do that?

like this. ~ 13:30, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

thanks--Chez Anthony 14:25, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

I see that the lethal red tilde thingy did its job :) ~ 14:31, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Please Adopt

"Please adopt me," sushi4724

Why the brackets? ~ 22:21, 17 July 2008 (UTC)

Regarding High School Musical

The last time I checked, someone screwed it up, like the time the article about "the Philippines" was screwed 3 months ago. Can you please provide me a good copy of the last edit before (how should I say this?) July 13, 2008. Thanks in advance and please archive your talkpage, since it's hard for me to read info from your talkpage because its eats up the virtual memory of my computer. And thanks in advance, again. -Ian Lopez MUN 10:21, 16 July 2008 (UTC)

Define "good copy". Do you want it in your userspace? ~ 22:14, 17 July 2008 (UTC)

My Poll

Yes, I can see you have just huffed my poll, but, why? The intention was that the poll would serve as a provider of comic relief. If you felt that it was unjustified to place links to the poll onto the pages you are free to remove them, but surely you didn't have to huff the Poll itself! and anyways, the intention was that the little templates on the articles would serve as a joke, imitating the polls that technology corperations bambared you with until you take them, and I do feel some of the pages were relevent: eg: Microsoft. Just Saying Rbpolsen 08:13, 18 July 2008 (UTC)

Hmmm..You're probably right about the poll Huffing itself, I'll restore it but you really need to put some more content in it other than the poll itself. The way it stands currently, it's just...a poll....if you get my drift. Maybe write a background to it, talk a bit about the "Uncyclopedia Statistics People" etc. Also, a comic relief in a comic website?! O_O ~ 09:46, 18 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

July 17^th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • This issue isn't late, your calendar is fast.

It's The Poo Lit. Surprised? By UU Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace. Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something. This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it. At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them. VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running By UU In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal. The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites. Heerenveen - Uncyclopedia's Tank. Doesn't sleep, eat, dream or pet fluffy animals. Does nothing, in fact, but patrol Special:Recentchanges, rolling over cyberbullying, shooting down crap, smoking out vandals and reverting their stuff, and other tank-like activities. What to expect: extreme diligence, and a bigger gun, apparently. MrN9000 - Profiled in the Unsignpost only last week, MrN has still found time to become even more awesome than he was then, and mends, mentors and poopsmiths his way around the site with matchless dedication. What to expect: zero tolerance for anything pants. Roman Dog Bird - Frankie is another tireless worker in the name of making crap stuff less crap, good stuff betterer, and shite stuff deleted. Wherever there is a thankless task to be done on the wiki, you shall find him. Which is a good job, because we have no intention of thanking him. What to expect: him to be ready from day one (hmm, that's a catchy slogan...) Dr. Skullthumper - A true legend of Uncyclopedia: handsome, talented, possessed of unprecedented levels of awesome, and a genius towards whom this newspaper (that he co-founded) is not in the least bit biased. Oh no. And can he give the editorial staff their teddies back now, please? What to expect: benevolent dictatorship with an iron fist. In a good way. RAHB - What comes to mind when you hear the name RAHB? Is it VFD? QVFD? QTVFD? RecentChanges? All those answers are correct and more when you get the new and improved RAHB this month! RAHB is an Uncyclopedia policy wonk with all the credentials of Al Gore, except for that Vice-President thing. What to expect: former audio superstar turned into a big, friendly admin. In a good way! Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered.

Check out these pages! Some sort of prize thingy limps off the starting line No news is... Led news? Blog whoring FTW! From our logs: 17:49, 11 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.173.54.200 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is a penis, this is you) 18:29, 11 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 156.34.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This ban is approved by the society of Chuck Norris followers. Chuck, for a better world ) 23:37, 13 July 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Jimbo spends foundation money in russian prostitutes (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (IN them?) 08:31, 17 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.73.10.118 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (If there something I really detest is IPs with small penii trying to act like big honchos on a wiki web site. I'd like to meet you one day, Mr. IP, and send you over the IP hospital) Biopic of the Week Hyperbole ~ Hype is awesome! Hype has been on Uncyc for just a short time, and yet has already written some of the greatest articles ever composed by human beings! Hype is easily the greatest author ever to have graced this humble wiki, and it is surely only a matter of time before he sails past Ljlego's record of 76 features with consummate ease. And despite not having either the Democrat or Republican nomination, Hype is also the surest bet in this year's Presidential elections! Is there anything this guy can't do? Apart from that thing with the rosary and the 3 Mexican children? Comeback of the Week Gerrycheevers ~ For the third or fourth time this year, Uncyc's comeback kid has again popped through his revolving catflap to grace us with his presence after a period of absence! The UnSignpost staff are accepting bets as to how long this comeback will last. Any takers? Plea of the Week Hey you! Yes you! You're reading this, so you must have some free time you don't know what to do with, so why not write an article for the UnSignpost! As you can tell from reading this very issue, actual writing talent is not required, just spout some gubbins about something that's happened on the wiki during the last week, and as long as it's not too likely to start drama, we'll probably stick it in! How can you refuse? Go on, be your friend?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:05, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

July 17^th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • This issue isn't late, your calendar is fast.

It's The Poo Lit. Surprised? By UU Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace. Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something. This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it. At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them. VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running By UU In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal. The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites. Heerenveen - Uncyclopedia's Tank. Doesn't sleep, eat, dream or pet fluffy animals. Does nothing, in fact, but patrol Special:Recentchanges, rolling over cyberbullying, shooting down crap, smoking out vandals and reverting their stuff, and other tank-like activities. What to expect: extreme diligence, and a bigger gun, apparently. MrN9000 - Profiled in the Unsignpost only last week, MrN has still found time to become even more awesome than he was then, and mends, mentors and poopsmiths his way around the site with matchless dedication. What to expect: zero tolerance for anything pants. Roman Dog Bird - Frankie is another tireless worker in the name of making crap stuff less crap, good stuff betterer, and shite stuff deleted. Wherever there is a thankless task to be done on the wiki, you shall find him. Which is a good job, because we have no intention of thanking him. What to expect: him to be ready from day one (hmm, that's a catchy slogan...) Dr. Skullthumper - A true legend of Uncyclopedia: handsome, talented, possessed of unprecedented levels of awesome, and a genius towards whom this newspaper (that he co-founded) is not in the least bit biased. Oh no. And can he give the editorial staff their teddies back now, please? What to expect: benevolent dictatorship with an iron fist. In a good way. RAHB - What comes to mind when you hear the name RAHB? Is it VFD? QVFD? QTVFD? RecentChanges? All those answers are correct and more when you get the new and improved RAHB this month! RAHB is an Uncyclopedia policy wonk with all the credentials of Al Gore, except for that Vice-President thing. What to expect: former audio superstar turned into a big, friendly admin. In a good way! Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered.

Check out these pages! Some sort of prize thingy limps off the starting line No news is... Led news? Blog whoring FTW! From our logs: 17:49, 11 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.173.54.200 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is a penis, this is you) 18:29, 11 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 156.34.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This ban is approved by the society of Chuck Norris followers. Chuck, for a better world ) 23:37, 13 July 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Jimbo spends foundation money in russian prostitutes (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (IN them?) 08:31, 17 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.73.10.118 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (If there something I really detest is IPs with small penii trying to act like big honchos on a wiki web site. I'd like to meet you one day, Mr. IP, and send you over the IP hospital) Biopic of the Week Hyperbole ~ Hype is awesome! Hype has been on Uncyc for just a short time, and yet has already written some of the greatest articles ever composed by human beings! Hype is easily the greatest author ever to have graced this humble wiki, and it is surely only a matter of time before he sails past Ljlego's record of 76 features with consummate ease. And despite not having either the Democrat or Republican nomination, Hype is also the surest bet in this year's Presidential elections! Is there anything this guy can't do? Apart from that thing with the rosary and the 3 Mexican children? Comeback of the Week Gerrycheevers ~ For the third or fourth time this year, Uncyc's comeback kid has again popped through his revolving catflap to grace us with his presence after a period of absence! The UnSignpost staff are accepting bets as to how long this comeback will last. Any takers? Plea of the Week Hey you! Yes you! You're reading this, so you must have some free time you don't know what to do with, so why not write an article for the UnSignpost! As you can tell from reading this very issue, actual writing talent is not required, just spout some gubbins about something that's happened on the wiki during the last week, and as long as it's not too likely to start drama, we'll probably stick it in! How can you refuse? Go on, be your friend?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:05, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

Edit war at an UnNews I wrote

Heya Mordillo! Think you could do something about this situation? I left a note over on the guy's talk page, but I have a feeling this isn't going to end until someone steps in.

Appreciate it!! pillow talk 17:00, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

Left a warning on his talk page. Please let me know if he keeps going. Thanks. ~ 17:20, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

Awesome. Thanks! pillow talk 17:22, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

 ?????

u huffed everything zen! how could you! why was it huffed?

Because it was completely random and had "everything zen" repeating 30 times. ~ 15:20, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

The Slappy Debate

• In answer to your question, I do have some evidence, and I'm glad that there's somebody on here that's looking at both sides of the coin. At present, he's trying to delete all of my Slappy's Angels articles for "Slappycruft" (whatever the hell that is), rather than just say that the articles may need rewriting or contain vanity. If he chose the latter, I wouldn't mind, but he seems to be claiming that the articles are only present for my benefit. Crablogger 14:33, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

I asked him to respond on your talk page so we can sort this out nicely. ~ 14:34, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

Images

Hi there, i've got a few images whcih aren't being used - I'm faily keen to hauff them since they're jsut lying around. Should I put them on QVFD or would you like me to put a list of them on my userpage?--Sycamore (Talk) 15:15, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

You can just put them here and I'll take care of that for you. ~ 15:17, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

Cool;)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:18, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

BBCEarlysellers.jpg

Withnail, ponce.jpg

Moznew111thpgu.jpg

Uma Thurman 001.jpg

Alec, Ladykiller.JPG

Sssdpotemkinsimulacrum.JPG

Potmekin88.JPG

Potemkinpopart.jpg

BowieStar874.JPG

Timtheenchanterblackandwhitevarient.jpg

Db87onplane.jpg

Scotland Flag.JPG

Bowie, earthlingtour.JPG

4892512579a7630726520l.jpg

Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:28, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

You

Why are you a part of the mafia --Chullage 16:20, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

Solid Snake

Hey Mordillo! So I notice that Solid Snake is protected and redirected to Uncyclopedia:CVP. I wrote a version of that article at User:Hyperbole/Solid Snake which, while arguably not my best work, I think could probably go in that slot. What do you think? pillow talk 23:51, 22 July 2008 (UTC)

I say don't let him. Ever since this "Hyperbole" character turned up he's been doing nothing but writing quality articles, fixing up old ones and generally causing trouble. I say this obvious bad apple needs to be taught a lesson... MrN  Fork you! 23:58, Jul 22

He's a dangerous sort that one, with his articles and whatnot. Done, feel free to move your article. ~ 08:32, 23 July 2008 (UTC)

Enquiry

Would it be stepping over the mark to replace the introduction type thing, of the Hell page with this:

“DUHK LIETMN IEN! DELUT ENCUR TEFUOT!”

~ Hitler on Hell

“I know, I know, the walls need refurnishing.”

~ Satan on Hell

“Your grandma says it's a dry heat.”

~ John Edward on Hell

“I went in and they asked me if I had any reservations. I said "Yes, with the decor, the service and probably the food as well. But I still want to dine there!"”

~ Leonidas on Hell

“In Soviet Russia Hell go to YOU!”

~ Russian Reversal on Hell

“What the fuck does a person have to do to get into heaven these days!?”

~ Mother Teresa on Hell

Hell, also known as "Life", is the residing place of your soul for all eternity after your body lets out that last ounce of shit you call a breath. The entrance to hell is a bright shining light. You will only ever see this light after you have died, or, if administering anal sex to Carson Daly.

When you die, if you look close enough into this light, you may even see Carson Daly's supple full moon.

Dial Satan

For all your wants and needs, hopes, dreams, sexual fantasies,
vendettas against the handicapped or anything else your heart desires!
JUST CALL: 69 666 1800! NOW! Only 4 easy payments of a quarter of your soul a month!*

*Call cost 6 dollars per minute. First 4 payments are to be made in advance and include your soul, your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, personal pet, mother and/or father, and any other material possessions you own. Continual payments of your dignity to be made every 3 days through your asshole for the entirety of your current and afterlife.

The History Of Hell

Hell was discovered around 27 PC (Presence of Christ). Jesus was tripping out on shrooms and somehow opened a portal into another dimension he called "Mtv". In the year of 1979 the name was officially changed to "Hell". Many suspected bribery persuaded the change. Jesus was quoted saying this on the situation; "Satan was just paying me back for Led Zeppelin tickets. There was absolutely no sexual... Wait..".

No one knows exactly how Jesus opened the portal due to his vague psycho-hallucinatory, recollections of the events prior to the opening, though, there are confirmed to be true writings from prophets of the time.

"I saw a large, colourful, flying object coming towards me, the little insect on my shoulder told me to be calm and hold my crotch. So i did. Then I distinctly remember the object becoming Carson Daly and bending over... That was when the portal opened" - Jesus. 27 PC

A photograph taken with Jesus' built in digital camera, seconds before the portal to Hell opened out of Carson Dalys arse.

I thought I'd ask before replacing such a large amount of writing.

Seems OK, just make sure it's fitting with the rest of the article. ~ 07:30, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Pub

Just a thought: wouldn't Rough Pubs be a better redirect for Pub? --UU - natter 09:53, Jul 24

You were saying? O_O ~ 09:59, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Whoosh! Faster than a speeding ninjewstar! --UU - natter 10:01, Jul 24