User talk:Mordillo/archive1

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I'm pleased you found Rev Stim_ulator amusing. I may have to do that again. Did you like the Christian dance music in the background? The fact that Christian dance music exists is cause for laughter. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 13:01, 11 October 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the audio on UnNews:Jews take over

I havn't been able to listen to it yet, but I'm psyched for the audio version! Thanks for the help. The idea for this article was rattling around in my head for a few days and actually came from my learning the history of the Fleischer animation studio, and wondering what would have happened if the majority of the country was Jewish instead of Protestant, and what the US would be like now, and I realized that we'd have a Fleischerland instead of Disneyland, the times square ball drop would happen on the Jewish new year, and it would be a big star of david . . . eventually thinking this concept over led to this article. I'm glad you thought it was funny also, since it was a lot of fun to write, especially making the photograph of the Aleph train. That was fun and really revealed how much of our everyday experience is rooted in culture and language, to a degree we don't even think about it, and change the culture and everything's suddenly different . . . --Hrodulf 20:35, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

Great audio!

I agree with Zim. Great, great audio. --Hrodulf 23:59, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

It was my pleasure indeed! I was considreing to that in Hebrew but most people will probably get scaed when they hear it...:) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 11:31, 11 October 2006 (UTC)

Collpse of the North American Military-Industrial Complex

Thanks for making us laugh our asses off. You should consider this a huge compliment, because since I've been reading so much stuff on UnNews and Uncyc generally, it's more difficult to make me laugh now than say, 8 months ago. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 16:48, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

I couldn't have done it without you...

Hey Armadillo, thanks for the sterling campaign against tough opposition. You got the vote out so I can rock out with my sock out -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 10:24, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

My pleasure you lucky goanna you! don't forget to change your sig Sir Armando. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 12:13, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Hey amigo, I tried to cannibalise your sig for the KUN FP bits, but when I did it did something weird with a timestamp going the width of the page. Any ideas? Better still, if you have tha mad tech skillz 2 pay tha billz, you could always just do it for me at User:Armando/sig2. Cheeky bugger, aren't I? And then how would I set sig2 as my default sig?
Re the Secret Project, did you see the note I left on the discussion page of the project page? Maybe I could do something on the opposite of shikse appeal (whatever you'd call that), but it would probably just wind up being a list of the many Daughters of Abraham that I fancy. Mmmmm... Sarah Silverman.... Sarah Michelle Gellar.... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 04:59, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Foolitzer et al on UnNews main page

You may have a great idea there. Check in with User:Olipro, and/or User:Todd Lyons and/or User:Bradaphraser, as they are the axis of ebill. Thanks, and thanks for your continuing fine contributions. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 22:32, 27 September 2006 (UTC)


Template the Up in Smoke template is here now.-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 15:08, 11 September 2006 (UTC)

Ass ewe can sea, THE HEBREW HAMMER IS BACK!-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 17:58, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Hey hey! you da man! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 18:03, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Stop... Hammer time!

Hey Mordeeyo, thanks for the nom. As I said to the ayatollah, it's good to see a two-horse race in one of these votes for a change. Annoying that it has to be us two, though. You're a credit to the Chosen People, much like that border-security temptress. I bet she could dismantle and clean me with a blindfold on, if you catch my drift.... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 15:45, 6 September 2006 (UTC)


Heh heh... you said minion

Thanks for noting my evilness. It's very important to me that Uncyclopedians understand that. I appreciate your support in voting for me as an admin, and I'll try and live up to the Code of the Cabal (which does not exist). I strive to avoid anger, but be assured that if ever you do piss me off, I won't actually kill you... probably. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 19:58, 2 September 2006 (UTC)


Nice to have you back!-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 18:50, 2 September 2006 (UTC) Look at the code in the VFH for your Article and you'll be surprised.

emm....I did....and didn't see anything? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 18:55, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

Hey Sev, I checked it like million times and I can't see a thing! Either I'm an idiot (plausible) or you had way too much beer! (possible) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 18:29, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

Here it is:

comment Naturally, but you can ask Sev to portray me:Black coat, big nose, give out loans at a very bad rate of interest. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 16:41, 2 September 2006 (UTC)
Hey <insert name here> look at Mordillo!-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 18:26, 2 September 2006 (UTC)
Oh yeah! And it looks much better than I do in real life...-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 18:46, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

Ok, now look for the {{USERNAME}} text. That meta makes your name appear anywhere. Look at my homepage. It says "you the user" should go away.-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 18:57, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

DAMN! That must have been difficult for you, feeding me up with a spoon...:) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 18:59, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

Tribue to Your Successes


It's a poster for the Lebanese to Watch Out for this hard hittin' Jewish Hammer of Justice!

Your UnNews stories always make me laugh. 5758 I guess is the Jewish year number, and I even wrote it backwards, but I guess that is just normal for you...Enjoy! I got a little out of order on your talk page, it seems like new stuff goes on top, so I reordered it for ya. -- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 17:03, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Mushroom cloud-laying motherfucker!

Did I tell you, that was a great article? I had to get the chuckles out of my system before going on air. Usually I can read them cold, having skimmed beforehand to check for something which would perhaps derail my chain of conciousness, but not this one. Nice work! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:13, 14 August 2006 (UTC)


I'm a lover, not a fighter. But I've already got too much stuff stuck in my craw, so there was no room for him. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 10:40, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

I have to say that i agree with you about the issue at hand. High school stutdent you say? Send him over here. We'll draft him to the IDF and ship him out to Lebanon. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 10:41, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

If the Australian army tries to draft me for the coming war against China or Taiwan (we haven't decided which side we're on yet) I'm going to tell them I'm a sleepwalker. I hear they don't like them. BTW have you seen this article that the Lebanese journo Michael Behe wrote for The New Republic? Very strong stuff, made me think about a few things that hadn't occurred to me before, and overall made me feel quite sad(der) for everyone involved. I couldn't find it on their website but it's here at -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 10:51, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

Well, he could stay in America, where we just won't give him a decent education or any career opportunities to speak of, so when the recruiters come he'll have little choice but to sign up for the USMC and get shipped out to Iraq. Aren't we so much more sophisticated? Remember, the neo-con takeover of your country by American poltical consultants was just practice for their takeover back home. --Falcotron 10:55, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

Goy vey!

You really are the Hebrew Hammer. First you write me out of a Footlitzer and now your How to Learn Hebrew thing has blown my Cambodia out of the Poo Lit water. (Not that Cambodia was really outstanding). I've withdrawn Cambodia and replaced it with East Timor, which I think is a bit better but which still won't win. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 00:26, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Did you ever see the movie the Hebrew Hammer? I thought it was great. V. touching opening scene where he's just a little boy and the evil Santa stomps on his dreidel. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 09:13, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

I thought it was pretty funny, though the plot is preposterous to the point of nonsense. I like trashy, lowbrow comedy and the idea of a Jewish Shaft quite tickled me. Don't know if I'd recommend it as such, but if you've got a few shekels burning a hole in your pocket, why not? Thanks for the vote on Cambodia too. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 16:37, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for making me an honorary Jew. I could do with a bit of spirituality because I'm an athiest, though I was raised Catholic (which means I got the Jewish guilt without the Protestant work ethic). I think I'm reasonably well qualified to be a Jew -- Portnoy's Complaint could be my autobiography. But I do get to stay, um, intact, right? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 00:48, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

Medical Malpractice

Since you are so wise, and I am possibly the King of the Jews, and I just got back from Germany (Two glorious months worth) and I just wrote the above...would you mind reading it, and telling me that I am infalible and I can't walk on water and shit like that? Thanks! oh yeah...-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 19:57, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

You're right...It does need some random hemostats and sponges left...-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 00:52, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

appreciate the vote!

zim replys

I'm pleased to hear of your ambitious How-To idea, and will be glad to help, at least, until I don't feel like it anymore.

Question: Do you use IRC? It would be easier to talk about how to do audio in real time.
If not, briefly:
  1. I record my audio using Calewalk's Sonar, a software recording studio thingy.
  2. I convert my Sonar file to .wav format.
  3. I convert the .wav to .ogg format, using Advanced Audio converter, a freeware thingy.
  4. I upload the .ogg file to Uncyclomedia Commons.
  5. I do the linky thingies for UnNews as required.

I hope this is at least a start to helping. Get back to me in any case. By the way, awesome article on Cthulhu. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 12:39, 6 August 2006 (UTC)


Thanks for the little patchy thing. I haven't looked down the barrel of an Israeli gun since that cute little redhead (yeah, I was surprised too) at the border crossing from Aqaba got all hinky about the dodgy state of my passport. I had to calm her down and reassure her that it was only good, honest backpacker perspiration that had made the laminate peel off my photo. Any case, Since Senor Olmert is extending to hand of quagmire to the Aussies vis-a-vis setting up shop in southern Lebanon, if you need a refresher on Oz military history, I've just redone the "Wars" section on the Australia page. Cheers -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 08:25, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

Ah, yes, Israeli women are wonderful things. Not that I've had that particular stamp in my passport, if you catch my drift... Whatever the opposite of shikse-appeal is, those gals got it. Um, yeah, Israel was amazing, though I wasn't there all that long. It was a good time to go (1999?), and things were all pretty relaxed in Israel and the West Bank. Got to go some places and do some things I probably couldn't today. Great martinis too. I came away really optimistic about the area, but, well, you know what happened. Look me up if you ever find yourself in Melbourne -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 10:00, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

Last one, you promise? Oh, no!

Please, don't stop telling me how great I am, please! My wife tells me, but I suppose that's her job. This international infamy thing is working out really well, and support from awesome fellow-users, like you, is crucial to my levels of megalomania. Thanks for your support, and for being so pleased about the blessing thingy... heh heh... Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 15:04, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

P.S. Ohhh, I can feel those Jewish energies coursing through my conciousness, compelling me to keep Kosher... VERY cool.

Geto Article

Yeah, I know my article sux0red, and was just an attempt to emulate al-Manar, al-Jazeera, etc. I am now writing sequel to UnNews:67% of Israeli teens call current war "bitchin'!" giving the views of Palestinian teens, who consider the IDF to be "like, meanies." Maybe you could write one about Vader or Martians intervering. --Ayatollah Gurkhmeini 22:39, 22 July 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Featured Articles

I just sort of started inhabiting UnNews one day, and began picking the articles I wanted to do audio for (always including the ones I write, of course), and then did the audio. About the same time, I began fooling with the templates which control that featured article sort of thing. It's not that I'm anyone special, it's just that I've happened to do the most for a period of time. I'll keep an eye out for your articles, and feature then if I believe they deserve it, or flip a coin to decide on Wednesdays and the 4th of every Bahai month. If you IRC, I'll look for you there too. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 20:31, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

Also, check this out, if you haven't already Help:How_to_write_an_UnNews_article

It's awesome to be a Jew, honorary or otherwise! Thanks for your nomination, I'll try and live up to stereotypes when necessary. I'be been quite a few religions berore, but a religion AND an ethnicity, all in the same day... I am so psyched!!! You, sir, rock. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 21:30, 18 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for being so kind with regard to my audio "work". Also, I noticed you on the list for folding@home... you definately rock! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:49, 20 July 2006 (UTC)

Age Guessing Game

  • no problem. I at least thought it was front page material. Thanks for the award! ~AxeiconCaputosistheHorribleAxeicon18:56, 5 June 2006 (UTC)


Hello, Mordillo/archive1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Here are a few good links for n00bs:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or the use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

ברוך הבא. תהנה--Rataube 20:06, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Fixed your userbox code

Sorry about the misunderstanding/philosophical disagreement/whatever in the village dump. I fixed your userbox code since when I visited your userpage I noted one of your templates was misaligned. Here's the code, you can implement it if you want.


{| align="right" width="250" border="0" style="background-color: #F9F9F9; color: #000000; border: solid 1px #bbbbbb; padding: 1px"
|{{user yi-4}}

Result to the right.

Member of the Order
Starofdavid This user is 50px-Jewish_link.GIF, and probably controls Uncyclopedia in some remote way.

Israeliflag This user Israeli
...Home of some angry Jews
(List of Israeli Uncyclopedians)
Protein This user joined the Folding@home Team, because he/she has nothing better to do with his/her computer.

אױ װײזמיר Der usernik vant you should shtop bothering dem when dey daven Toyreh, nu?

As for my view on the whole situation, I just don't see how the underlying political situation is going to be resolved; the radical elements are never going to agree to peace. That's not to say I want there to be ongoing, indefinite war, I just doubt there's any way to fix what's broken here. You can't reach a compromise with extremists, and it only takes a small group to become violent to derail everything, even if the majority wants peace. --Hrodulf 16:31, 18 July 2006 (UTC)

UnWar Template

I'm Claudius, nice to meet you. I like the template you added to the Khalil Gibran wounded in Israeli Attack news item I wrote. I will have to write a couple more articles just to utilize such a nice template.--Spqr Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 14:12, 19 July 2006 (UTC)


The problem was that you made the flag bigger and the border wider, and therefore the whole template got wider. Play with the border, the flag, the fontsize, and the words as much as you want, but try to mantain the same overall width. Of course, there must be a way to make the width stay allways the same (the heigth would change instead), but that's beyond my reach.---Asteroid B612B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 03:47, 19 August 2006 (UTC)


The pronunciation still gives me some headaches...---Asteroid B612B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 02:54, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

Self-hating Jew

I love the pic of you as the Hebrew Hammer, but it doesn't work as a self-hating Jew, so I turned you into the Mossad's special agent in charge of Jewish antisemitism on the interwebs. Even though that's obviously in real life. I hope you don't mind playing him on TVUncyclopedia. --User:Falcotron/sig 23:23, 3 September 2006 (UTC)

If you would...

Mordillo, since you're Israeli and Jewish, I was wondering if you could take a look at The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah, my newest creation, and tell me what you think. Also, if you could think of lots of Jewish food items, customs, songs, etc etc etc, it would help a lot. Thanks, -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 02:20, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Well, first I'm guessing that you're not done yet, correct? It seems that the song is assuming the original form somwhere down the middle, or am I mistaken? Before I give some remarks, I have to admit that I don't know the original or much about the grinch (is that the correct spelling?) so I might not be that useful. As for the piece:

  • You are mixing some traditional food from different holydays (i.e. - matza ball soup) is that intentional?
  • What kind of food and drinks are you looking for? upi cam try another typical food for his holyday: [1]
  • It's Yamulka, as far as I know
  • I'd loose all of the xmas reference i.e. deer and santa can put some alterante Jewish figuers relevant to Hanuka. for example: [2] which is the hero of hanuka, more or less.

Hope this helps. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 09:57, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm not finished...about halfway, as you said. I just know that matza ball soup is a traditional Jewish food, so I used it...Anyway thanks, and I'll try to add some in...What rhymes with Maccabee??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 03:27, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Well, if you want to put some Hebrew in it, I can figure out some rhymes...for example, Makaa-Bee (two words) can also mean - she hits me :) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 08:23, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

I'm open to all suggestions... -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 03:18, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Main Page Awards

I like the idea... now I'm going to have to think long and hard on where to put it... although if you have a suggestion, then I'll gladly hear it :) --Olipro Icons-flag-gb Anchor KUN (Harass) 12:14, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

You've just received a pie!

    dQQQQp            qQQQQb
  dQp                      qQb
 dp                          qb
dp                            qb
qb                            dp
 Qb                          dpQ
 qQQb                      dQQp
  Q qQQQQb            dQQQQp Q
  qb     qQQQQQQQQQQQQp     dp
   Q.                      .Q
   `Qb                    dQ'
     qQb                dQp
       qQQQQb      dQQQQp

You've received this pie for greeting me. As an added bonus, it's {{Favourite_pie|Mordillo/archive1}} flavoured! --Thematrixeatsyou 23:43, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Hey hey! There's always a room for more pie! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 12:21, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the Welcoming

Thanks for welcoming me to Uncyclopedia, Mordillo. I could ust the help. Also, good job on your article HowTo:Learn Hebrew. --Thetanmancan 19:31, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

My pleasure, feel free to ask about anything you're not sure about...and thanks for the compliment...!-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 12:20, 4 October 2006 (UTC)


However weird this feels, (giving something other than a bomb to an Israeli) I was humbled by your vote, so here, think fast */me throws ninjastar at Mordillo*

NeoZidane CUNTSpacerSpacerSpacerIcons-flag-gb Headbutt extraordinaire __15px-RedPhone.jpg____15px-SigCommunist.pngсоединяйтесь!15px-SigCommunist.png 19:47, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

This goes directly into my shiny page! keep up the good work! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 12:23, 4 October 2006 (UTC)


I wasn't sure if you ever received one of these. SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 22:21, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

UmNews audio

You can use either
or File:UnNewsJingle.MP3. Looking forward to hearing it. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 23:46, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:Jews take over

Are you going to do this for audio soon? If not, let me know, or if you're having problems with recording, maybe I can help. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 12:54, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

Oh no, not at all, I was just caught up in work. As soon as I finish I'll get around to do it. Just stated very late last night and had to get some sleep....-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 13:02, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

Smashing job, and dreadful accent! Cheers!
Also, thanks for rallying to the defense of zim. Imagine, someone asking me to change something... the balls on them! Nope, nothing changes, swearing stays in, and I will endeavor to push the stupidity envelope until the humors all but scream. And thank you for suffering! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 19:57, 10 October 2006 (UTC)