User talk:Mordillo

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Welcome to my talk page. Now shut the fuck up and go write an article (or leave a new message at the bottom )

edit I will not buy this record

It is scratched. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 15:47, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

But the parrot is only resting! ~Jewriken.GIF 16:26, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
I'll buy the parrot. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:52, 1 December 2011
Hold on, I'll wake him up. POLLY! *bang* WAKE UP POLLY! *bang bang* ~Jewriken.GIF 17:08, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
I dunno, you bloody admins... Can't you see he's pining for the fjords? --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:34, Dec 2
Beautiful plumage... even though the plumage don't enter into it. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 10:02, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
nigga please we aint talkin bout no fuckin parrot -- 10:04, December 2, 2011 (UTC) you want to come back to my place then? ~Jewriken.GIF 12:15, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
It's a bogus offer, he ain't gonna get freaky with no gentiles...--Sycamore (Talk) 12:17, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
And what is a morning after some regrettable sex without bacon? --Nikau 12:59, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
Regrettable?! Why are you being so negative?! ~Jewriken.GIF 13:35, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
Bloody hell - is this site really still going? I thought (hoped) it would have withered and died. Even had a big barrel of salt to rake into the ground to make sure it stayed dead. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 20:35, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry. Despite all our efforts it does still stand. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 22:38, 4 December 2011
You obviously don't have enough Jews around. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:06, December 9, 2011 (UTC)
No kidding. Zombiebaron, while lovely, ain't hardly enough, and TKF is just useless. Where are the rest of ye? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:25, 9 December 2011
If I keep adding posts, won't it eventually go off the page? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 09:59, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
We were busy setting up the global Zionist conference. The Rabbi is chairing this year. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:23, December 12, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 8 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:24, 8 December 2011

edit Mordillo has died

Mordillo was risen? June to September, you were gone, And then from that time I thought you're dead. Now, you're BACK! Just in time to revive IC! GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 06:42, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

I'm dead, this is just a remanent of my evilness. Whadayaneed? ~Jewriken.GIF 14:23, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Ahahahaha Imperial Colonization. You so crazy. Also, this is Mordillo's talkpage. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat04:53, Tuesday 13 December 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire

edit Possible plagiarism?

I ran across this article which seems to have been copied from UnNews:Mother flees with child to avoid health ruling. While I know everything is released under CC-SA, the story looks like it's copyrighted by (or at least there's nothing attributed to Uncyclopedia). For future reference, should I contact a specific user (e.g. Sannse) or on a specific forum for things like this? MadMax 17:49, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

I think you can give them a friendly note yourself (to a site admin) with the link pointing out that the date of creation here is earlier than their creation date. What they need to do is remove the copyright and attribute it to us, but otherwise they can keep it. Also, how are you doing? ~Jewriken.GIF 14:32, December 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 15 December 2011

--ChiefjusticeXBox360 10:30, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Chag sameach!

That's all. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:11, December 21, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, happy Hanukkah to the both of you. And any other Jews who happen to wander past and see this message I'm too lazy to post in other places. I'm a little rusty on Hanukkah tradition, but I hope you all win the traditional beach volleyball competition, and your traditional beard plait is the talk of your friends! --UU - natter UU Manhole 06:52, Dec 22

edit UnSignpost - 22 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:49, 22 December 2011

edit Tripped face first into a bar

Hello Mordillo, you being back is like a breath of fresh air in a smokey bar. Speaking of... This is a note to lots of people, asking them to join into a Walk into a bar collab (and if Iz missed you, you are more than welcome to "Walk into a bar" too!). If you want to join in, make up your best "Walk into a bar" jokes and we will have the bestest "Walk into a bar" page on the innernests! Aleister 16:00 27-12-'11

edit UnSignpost - 29 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:54, 29 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - January 5th, 2012

edit Template talk:Delete

Please review my edit request on Template talk:Delete. Ian Streeter 23:06, January 6, 2012 (UTC)

I have responded to your edit request. Mordillo is not really around at the moment. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 23:15, January 6, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 12 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:01, 12 January 2012

edit UnSignpost - 19 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 15:06, 19 January 2012

edit What better way to revitalize your presence on uncyclopedia


than this? --ShabiDOO 11:32, January 24, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 26 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 08:27, 26 January 2012

edit UnSignpost - 3 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:10, 3 February 2012

edit UnSignpost - 10 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 10:24, 10 February 2012

edit UnSignpost - 18 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:55, 18 February 2012

edit Oi! You!

Pop in an see us sometime. There people here who need to be banned you know... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 23:57, Feb 21

edit UnSignpost - 23 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:46, 23 February 2012

edit UnSignpost - 1 March 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:23, 1 March 2012

edit UnSignpost - 8 March 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:19, 8 March 2012

edit UnSignpost 5 April 2012

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:39, Apr 5

edit Welcome back!

Simsilikesims and I became Admins a month ago; PuppyOnTheRadio and Mnbvcxz won that vote by not becoming Admins, but actively maintain the site, as do Aleister in Chains and Snippy. ChiefjusticeDS and Romartus are the only other active Admins. Romartus maintains the main page and UnNews; there have been feints toward giving out periodic awards, but no work toward another UnSignpost. Sannse reports that DPL broke during the last week, which screwed up the lists of articles on prominent pages; this seems to be fixed. Spıke Ѧ 11:25 5-Mar-13

Hold on hold on, did they not fill out form ZG24/z for broken DPL fixing? WHAT ON EARTH HAS BEEN HAPPENING HERE? And thanks for the welcome back, I hope I can manage to stay this time round and help around.And congrats on your adminship! ~Jewriken.GIF 11:39, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

It must be the work of the Wikia software lab in Poland. They wouldn't have to fill out the forms before breaking the code. Spıke Ѧ 11:43 5-Mar-13

FUCK.....they'll let anyone back in.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Welcome back Mordillo. You have indeed missed quite a lot and where there was one...there are now two...--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:51, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
They always forget the mirror. Sigh!                               Puppy's talk page12:04 05 Mar 2013
Triple Planets of the Uncs...--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:07, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
Am I the only one who remembers why Mordillo left? Collective historical memory loss, I guess. Aleister 12:29 5-3-'13
TWO?! DID THEY CLONE ME WHEN I WAS ASLEEP? yes, I've noticed, the fork, was looking in every now and then. Happy to see you all chaps, with the exception of Mhaille. Also, Al, I left because the head hunters you've sent finally caught up with me. I now edit from the wonderful city of Islamabad where Internet connection is wonky, and my four wives demand constant attention. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:16, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
I never even knew Mordillo went anywhere. Which just proves that ignorance is bliss. Yay, Mordillo!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:45, Mar 6
Hey FB :), thanks for that. How is you doing? ~Jewriken.GIF 16:58, March 6, 2013 (UTC)
Great to hear from you, mate! I hope those star wars rebel wannabees come back here when they realize that their so-called "free" Uncyclopedia COSTS MONEY, while Wikia is FREE. I just rewrote a more appropriate intro to THIS for good measure. My loyalty is to Wikia and Mordillo. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:49, Mar 6

I still hear voices in my head telling me to kill. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 07:32, March 7, 2013 (UTC)

No, it's my strange accent. They're telling you to "eat more cookies. EAT MORE COOKIES". and drink your milk ~Jewriken.GIF 09:19, March 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Did ewe no…

…spell cheque is oar sum. Also, you won NotM a couple of months ago.                               Puppy's talk page10:16 07 Mar 2013

Spells are even better! And I didn't know that one of my clone experiments actually succeeded. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:07, March 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Stomp

Sorry we had a tag war on this article. But the author needs a stronger message than "We are waiting for you to finish." From incomplete sentences to pervasive inside-jokes, the author needs some hint that he is on the wrong track entirely. Spıke Ѧ 17:00 7-Mar-13

I wouldn't call it template fight. A template fight would involve bad mouthing, flogging, restraining orders and Al dancing polka. Naked. I do agree that this is crap, but the whole "give a strong message" is not always needed, if we assume good faith. The end result will be the same, it will probably be removed in a week. Also, in the past, WIP gave "immunity" from WIP. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:20, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

You are correct on the law, and I relented. I agree the article is probably toast, but had wanted to get a clearer message to Anon as to why. PS--Al has never needed a template fight to dance polka. Spıke Ѧ 12:28 8-Mar-13

edit Shite 'N' Onions (Band)‎‎

And what do you make of this one? The only contributor is a user of approximately the same name, and this is his only work. Is it vanity, or just the joy of swearing at strangers? Is it ever going to be funny? Spıke Ѧ 13:12 8-Mar-13

Well, I don't think it's vanity but it is shite. The only reason I put {{WIP}} on the other one and not {{ICU}} was because it seems that the formed put more effort into it. That one just seems like bandcruft. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:48, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

I shall tag it. By the way, one of these tags got taken to VFD as redundant during your absence, but both survived. Spıke Ѧ 13:54 8-Mar-13

edit Joke bans

I don't mind banning the guy you just banned based on his high-profile act of vandalism. I reverted it, but did not ban him, based on the rule at UN:BP not to report (nor, presumably, ban) users with only one "contribution." ("It is pointless.")

However, this ban comes close to a joke ban, something we have had none of since the Fork; and indeed the assertion that this website is not run for the amusement of the Admins has been a selling feature vis-a-vis the Fork. In any case, ban messages that are particularly amusing no longer get written up in the UnSignpost, of which there haven't been any. Spıke Ѧ 15:16 12-Mar-13

Really Spike, after all the time here you haven't figured up yet that this is not Wikipedia? Humorous ban messages were and will always be a part of this site and rules being, by and large, an ignorable policy. For the record, I used these kind of ban messages way before the USP was created. You need to differentiate between the spirit of admining the site (which should be a integral part of the site's humor) and abusing power, which was never an accepted practice in my view. This was not a joke ban, this was s serious ban with an amusing ban message for a vandal who will never contribute anything to this site. Consider this for future reference. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:31, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

edit Mass deletion of MP3s

Very well. Separately, your comments are valid at VFD on the mass deletion of MP3s. The forum at which you should weigh in is in the subject line of that section. Spıke Ѧ 22:51 12-Mar-13

There's a forum? Missed that, will take a look . ~Jewriken.GIF 22:53, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

Well, that was a loud meow in the Forum! though I am likewise neutral, enough to list the thing on VFD and abstain (and I thought of you when I did that). But I took all sorts of grief as a newbie when I toyed with the transcript; I tell newbies now, in my Welcome message, that "in the case of controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was said"; and now we are catering to a notorious problem child in defiance of all of the above. You will have read in the Forum that my greater problem is the Aimsplode case; he--when not serving as a prank candidate for Admin--has been wasting our time listing Forums on QVFD to try to expunge his Hitler phase. And he finally did so, with the help of a fallen-away Admin who has no other purpose here.

Apropos of nothing, names of Admins no longer appear in bold on RecentChanges. There is new coding where they will appear in bold in any listing, even version-diffs, but it is at each user's option. We discussed this in the Forum, Puppy got the coding right, and I documented it at UN:HAX. Spıke Ѧ 23:50 12-Mar-13

Speaking of which, why hasn't anyone restored those deleted pages? There was no community consensus to delete, after all.                               Puppy's talk page03:24 13 Mar 2013

I declined to edit-war with Admin Rcmurphy. As if there were any way to do so; his last contribution was last August. Aimsplode should not have the luxury of unsaying things based on schmoozing one Admin, presumably at the Fork. Apart from that, there is the simmering issue of the continuing oppage of Admins with their own website whose closest thing to a business plan is to have us fail. Spıke Ѧ 11:44 13-Mar-13

edit The Making of That Obscure Object of Desire‎‎

Compare User talk:Dpelle10‎. Some professor of Spanish film may be using Uncyclopedia as a tool for his students to publish their term papers. To their credit, these two are writing actual, subtle, good satire; but Dpelle10's article is problematic, as it is a "composite" filmmaker and not a funny biography of anyone in particular. Spıke Ѧ 11:44 13-Mar-13

I wouldn't make too much of it, got ICU on, and will get removed in a week, probably. We can run a checkuser on these two to see similarities, but it's probably a waste of time. As we have 1? 2? pages a day now, I wouldn't think this is such a big issue. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:05, March 13, 2013 (UTC)

The articles themselves are no big deal at all, as they are funny enough. As for possible misuse of the site (which would include seeding multiple articles for temporary publication), I have queried Dpelle10. 13:12 And he replies that creating an Uncyclopedia page was a class assignment (as one of two options). The implications are clear; only, I don't know who is using whom! Spıke Ѧ 16:35 13-Mar-13

edit Forum:Vote: Are there too many @$%& boxes on this @$%& Forum?

Do you have an opinion on this? Spıke Ѧ 15:27 13-Mar-13

edit Broken redirects

Thank you for working Special:BrokenRedirects. I recently complained at Uncyclopedia:Report a problem about the several entries that never go away nor point to anything real. Do you have any idea why they're there? Spıke Ѧ 12:21 15-Mar-13

Cache is probably borked. I think Sannse (or one of her technology geeks) can force a cache cleanup. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:22, March 15, 2013 (UTC)


This is your baby and may deserve a fresh look:

  • The last significant change to our style document was by Simsilikesims, to try to further dissuade Uncyclopedians from creating and building long, dumb lists. I agreed on the talk page but noted that it repeats advice given, less strenuously, in Sec. 5. You might want to look at this and see if the information could be better unified.
  • Mnbvcxz has been engaged in a month-long effort to rationalize the Unquotable namespace. He has found hidden in it several style guides designed to encourage insertion of quotations in articles for its own sake, such as Uncyclopedia:Templates/In-universe/Quotes. This page, among other things, documented and encouraged the use of templates that produce random quotations, such as random George W. Bush malapropisms, several of which we have deleted via VFD. Such insertions generate Randumbo and deserve immediate reverting. Mn-z, Simsie, and I have edited this page to actively discourage quotecruft, but no one will look for style guidance here. I think HTBFANJS should either point to or incorporate this advice.
  • I continue to point new users to User:SPIKE/Cliches-1 on avoiding gassy "encyclopedic" phrases such as, "It is commonly believed that...." Before your long vacation, we left it that HTBFANJS would point to this userspace file as helpful opinion but not official style. I still think it deserves to be part of our official guidance to users. Spıke Ѧ 13:05 17-Mar-13

edit Autopatrolled; Abuse Filter 1

I have given you Autopatrolled, which provides that edits do not show up flagged on RecentChanges, though they probably don't for Sysop either. This feature was added to MediaWiki while you were away.

The reason for this change is that several of your edits today that removed {{ICU}} or similar tags triggered an Abuse Filter needlessly. I've been playing with these--documented on the Chief's talk page--and have now consolidated in Abuse Filter 1 all cases where someone removes a tag, exempting users with Autopatrolled, who are trusted to review newer users' edits. This filter will not prevent the edit but will tag the edit in RecentChanges for personal inspection. Spıke Ѧ 13:57 22-Mar-13

Thank you sir. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:01, March 22, 2013 (UTC)

Well, it tripped up Snippy, and this morning it tripped up me. Snippy tells me that Rollback implies Autopatrolled (formally in not flagging a user's edits, and informally in signifying trust in the user), so the right solution was not to give you the new power but to fix the Abuse Filter. But you may keep Autopatrolled with my compliments. Spıke Ѧ 13:21 29-Mar-13

edit Boots!

--Timbor (talk) 01:30, March 27, 2013 (UTC)

Hello. I have finished "The Duke's Boots" for unscripts. I followed the suggestions for formatting. Timbor

Good one, I'll take a look. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:42, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

edit HowTo:Decorate your cunt for Easter

The reason I removed Multiliteralist's "contribution" from {{Recent}} is that, in conjunction with his name-calling at Forum:Cow tipping breaking a string of total disinterest in this website, I was not convinced that this was not vandalism. Even after I saw that he had created an article, I don't think it reflects favorably on us to confront passers-by with this word, or this article. Spıke Ѧ 14:26 5-Apr-13

OK, but I don't think it's our job to censor articles by users. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:27, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

I did not censor any article; my judgement was limited to whether the article should be advertised on the main page. Spıke Ѧ 14:51 5-Apr-13

Sorry, I meant censor any material that appear on any location on the site, except for some rare exceptions (shock picture for example). Words are normally just words. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:14, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
If we disqualify this article from the front page, we would also have to disqualify all Aristocrats Turkey Day entrees from the front page (if we ever have enough users and willing judges to hold that contest again). Although inherently in bad taste, it is an article that is new, and belongs on a list of newly created articles. It also would start us on a slippery slope of censoring all words on the front page, along with the accompanying debate of what should be censored or not. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:58, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
I agree with Simsie on this one. Besides, the advantage of the content warning is that it allows us to have this type of content. And as for the use of the word cunt, there is a feminist argument that suggests its use helps to ameliorate the stigma attached to it, and thereby demystifies the word. Not an argument I'm sure I understand completely, but I guess is I'm happy to use the word cock somewhere, then I shouldn't hesitate at cunt. Especially given People Who Like to Fuck Naked has been featured previously. It's not a brilliant article IMO, but it isn't vandalism.                               Puppy's talk page10:38 05 Apr 2013

I acknowledge there is no support for my position. But all the arguments against it seem spurious. Free-for-all has not always been the rule on our feature pages, including the main page and the UnNews Front Page. At various times these have had a pseudo-owner or a voting process such as VFH. At many times a single person running UnNews has assumed the authority to decide what is in {{RecentUnNews}} on the basis that unconstrained self-listing gives every writer of a junk UnNews access to the main page in order to flog it. Deciding that an article on "cunt decoration" is inappropriate for the main page in no way sets a precedent that binds us; and putting our best foot forward on the main page in no way "censors" our authors, wherease encountering the word "cunt" unasked-for will not soften the word before it instantly alienates millions of potential readers who live between Simsie and me. The fact that this article also exists on the Fork does not mean it is a typical article. I tend to think that, in typical Yukky Doody style, this little turd was selected to be deposited here with anything but the best interests of this website in mind. Spıke Ѧ 23:07 5-Apr-13

I happen to think it's one of my 5 best articles. Also, why do you mention turds when the topic is cunt? -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 08:01, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
And I think you may be jumping at shadows. While I don't think this is a high quality article, we've had non-quality articles in the recent template in the past, as quality is a subjective element. Being at the fork is not relevant for my standing on this - I'm going by the merit of the article itself. It's no worse than YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER!, which has also been in the same template in the past. (It may have even been there twice.) I wouldn't vote for feature, but it's well above deletion or vandalism. Working on a communal decision making process, I'd say it has enough merit to be included.                               Puppy's talk page12:18 06 Apr 2013

And another thing. People who are aficionados both of English vulgarity and of female anatomy know that it is not the cunt that is adorned at all. It is the pussy. Spıke Ѧ 00:44 6-Apr-13

edit Bureau Chief?

The Chief has gone awol and ZB is elsewhere engaged...which means you are only active bureaucrat here. Do you have an off site email? Mine is Thanks. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:44, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

Fuck you.....I'm RIGHT HERE.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
As background, Sannse disabled Special:EmailUser after Bizzeebeever and others used it to contact promising Wikia newbies and induce them away from Wikia. I don't know why Romartus was looking for a Bureaucrat, but I am still anxious for one of youse to deopp the authors of the insurrection. I personally am not doing the daily work of policing articles and coaching new editors just to keep Zombiebaron's seat warm when he tires of paying for the privilege of bossing everyone else around. Spıke Ѧ 14:58 29-Apr-13
It's I didn't notice Sannse disabled that option, that's an important bit of functionality. As for the other issue, I wasn't around when that happened so can't really comment on this. Obviously if there is a community decision, that's another issue (though how much is left of the community....that fork thingy isn't doing good by either side imo). Also, Mhaille, it's about time we admit that we're married. Or sockpuppets. Which of those was that again? ~Jewriken.GIF 20:31, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks Mordillo. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:06, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

edit Hey Mordillo, this is NXWave.

In case you didn't get it on your email, here's the whole thing. I don't care if I'm making this public, I deserve everything.

I don't know if this message will be read but I have to try to make up somehow. I am really, really, really sorry for the things I did. I basically made a mockery of your administrative system by attempting to come back repeatedly using multiple socks and I basically caused the most havoc by abusing the trust. I know how you feel personally, you were basically pissed out of your mind and I could admire the things you did, you were trying to uphold the policy of the site and much of those things, I learned very important lessons from. I learned that what I was doing is bad, I learned that obsession is a bad thing and I learned that the community can basically feel negative if you do this stuff; my sockpuppets did nothing to harm Uncyclopedia by abusing the trust and basically making a mockery of the system. I learned that awards mean nothing if you're just set on winning them. There are many things I'd like to thank you for but there's only so much I can put in a message and I want to get to the important stuff.

I apologize for utilizing this site as an escape from my problems. I was getting so much hate from the TalkShoe place which I so frequently mentioned and I wanted to do audios and so this place was it. Every audio file I ever made is tainted by this obsession, this obsession with a person from Memphis which I somehow spread to a user called AE who I have convinced myself was this guy from Memphis. I took drama from another site and spread it here and I had no idea how to handle the obsession, I was basically fucked over my head and I didn't know how to handle that. I don't know if I can ever gain forgiveness for these actions nor can I find redemption but I really feel bad about this, I was a massive dick, still a dick somewhat and I have come to realize that AE is a pretty nice guy; I could only imagine how things would of gone had I not interfered, he could of been Uncyclopedian of the Year or something. I feel the same about YesTimetoEdit.

I'm currently seeking help for my condition; I haven't gotten to a doctor yet but I am taking meditation. I don't claim to be a religious person so it's kind of hard for me to find avenues of which I can keep myself occupied; I am aiming to better myself in every way possible and this means not coming back to Uncyclopedia. I never felt like I was a part of the community anyway, I mean I recorded audio files and written articles but I could never understand the humor here to create an article worthy of Uncyclopedia's standards; additionally I don't want to get into another fight with a user nor go insane nor get into a conflict over what's funny or what's not. Everything I did under NXWave I regret because I was not in the right state of mind, my life was collapsing before my eyes and as I said before, I just used it as an escape. Additionally, I found another community to where I belong, I want to be a part of that community, not this one. To close; I feel bad about the actions I did, I'm really sorry for them and I hope this apology means something. I don't want to be the guy who says "suck my dick" nor do I want to be "forever and always" anymore. I want to move on.

Sincerely. -NXWave 01:29, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

TLDR -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Hello NX. I'll respond as soon as I have more than a few minutes to spare. Thanks for the note though. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:39, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

edit Hi Mordillo

I have been reverting a lot of vandals lately by undoing their changes and Spike said I should ask you for rollback rights. Could I have these rights, please? Thank you. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:14, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

You will need to write an essay, in no less than 25 words, how you will abuse the power of rollback. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:19, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

If you were joking: I will abuse the power of the rollback by only giving it to vandals who write humour that I disagree with even if everyone else likes it. I will rollback all the userpages of people I don't like and never let anyone edit anything without me rollbacking it first.

If you weren't joking: Then I will only use rollback on vandalism that does not comply with the rules and same goes to spamming.

Thanks Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:24, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

Yes, I endorse him for this promotion. But, Scott, registered Uncyclopedians usually deserve Undo rather than Revert, in order to give them a Change Summary; on which the important thing is again to patrol the edit you undid. Spıke Ѧ 12:30 6-May-13
Did I strike you as a serious person? You think the air you breath is real? Hmmm. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:33, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

Well I can still undo. I don't know what rollbacks really are but Spike suggested them. What do you all mean by "patrol." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:35, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

Do a hard refresh on your browser and you'll see a rollback link next to recent changes. What it does it rolls back multiple changes by a single editor. The automated summary says - "rolled back.....". What Spike meant is when you rollback someone who is trying to contribute rather than cause harm, use the Undo option and explain in the summary why you're undoing his/hers edit. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:42, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

2 edit conflicts!!!! Thanks Mordillo. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:43, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

Patrol generally means clean up the site as you have been doing; specifically it means click on "Mark this edit as patrolled" or use the JavaScript tool for RecentChanges to mark a bunch of edits as patrolled at once. This removes the ! from the edits so I don't have to look at them too. Spıke Ѧ 12:42 6-May-13

Thanks but I read Spike's text on my first edit-conflict before you then deleted it and replaced it causing my second edit-conflict. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:53, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

edit Thank You

For blocking that vandal, Mordillo. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:57, May 8, 2013 (UTC)

At your service. ~Jewriken.GIF 10:02, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
I hate to pick on your Change Summaries again, Mordillo, but you were trying to get a message to the vandal, and that is likely to be immensely rewarding and unlikely to affect his behavior. I saw that Simsie was banning with a generic 6-months/Vandal message and I copied her. Vandals are vandals so that real people will pay attention to them, whereas when they edit they simply get reverted. ScottPat recently speculated to Anton that this one has a "hatred" for me, but he tipped his hand in Change Summaries as our old Juicy Taste Of nemesis; while I might have reverted one of his edits and that might have set him off on a crusade, it is just as likely that I was merely the Admin on duty. In my opinion, vandals should be dealt with methodically and without anything that could be perceived as "eye contact." Spıke Ѧ 10:44 8-May-13
I meant no offence to you Spike. I merely suggested that as his comments were directed towards you. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:51, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
I took no offense, but I am sure they were not. Spıke Ѧ 10:56 8-May-13

edit Why is Jesus trying to convert you?

Gentile laxative

Gentile Laxative is on sale this week. Your Price May Vary.

I don't know about you, but it's starting to piss me off. The Lord should stay in his own damned country, minding to his American miscreants. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 03:14, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

MY GOD! IS THIS THE ZIMULATOR REBORN?! ~Jewriken.GIF 15:40, June 3, 2013 (UTC)
Uh, what? Sorry, I got a nice bag of what I suspect is Sativa this morning, and I'm feeling chatty but am also high as a lesbian's pocket protector. Cheers, and all that, oh great creator of my favorite zim-related pic. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 13:54, June 7, 2013 (UTC)
Less lube, more dildo! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 16:02, June 9, 2013 (UTC)
Less lube, more Gentile [sic] Laxative (pictured). Spıke Ѧ 16:39 9-Jun-13
Spike, my friend, you are sick. Kudos. Cujos? Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 18:44, June 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit UN:AA

Welcome back! Several of us have replaced our names at Active Admins with our signature templates, enabling easier access to our talk pages. Do so also, if you like; and provide a typical time zone so that users avoid trying to contact you overnight. Spıke Ѧ 20:03 3-Jun-13

edit Reverend P. Pennyfeather

Reverend P. Pennyfeather needs The Rollbackz. He has a good sense of what is funny and what is vandalism and has been policing anonymous edits to the website. Spıke Ѧ 19:52 4-Jun-13

Hello hello. Sorry, I'm drowning in "real" work. Still relevant? ~Jewriken.GIF 14:14, June 20, 2013 (UTC)

Sorry to hear that. Mhaille took care of him, but resident problem-child-but-good-patroller DungeonSiegeAddict510 now needs it, cheers! Spıke Ѧ 14:26 20-Jun-13

edit Thanks for the rollback

But I cant seem to patrol pages with multiple edits! Why is that!?-The Shield of Azunai DSA510My Edits! 23:14, June 20, 2013 (UTC)

What exactly happens? The option isn't there or you get an error message? ~Jewriken.GIF 11:43, June 28, 2013 (UTC)

edit I have to

Yeah, just passing, not doing anything, probably not returning, but still had to drop by your page and say hi. I miss you man. No-one can supply more dildoes the way you can. --UU - natter UU Manhole 21:17, Aug 9

Would you like me to send you a new one? The one with the pink fur? ~Jewriken.GIF 08:29, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
Welcome back Mordillo! I said I would email you and - lo - you return. ChiefjusticeDS has left us for a career in stripping. He was waiting for a pole to be delivered but instead got a plumber from Warsaw. Trust Amazon to get it wrong. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:22, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
Your email woke me from my winter slumber (and by slumber I mean OH MY GOD THERE IS TOO MUCH WORK I NEED A HOLIDAY etc). So you mean that Chief is now climbing a Polish the nude?! ~Jewriken.GIF 20:38, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
That depends on wether you count whipped cream as clothing.                               Puppy's talk page09:00 pm 18 Nov 2013
That used to be my school uniform. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:12, November 19, 2013 (UTC)

edit hello

uncyclopedia doesn't feel the same without mordildos :( you were like the wise old elder when i was a wee tyke on here. miss ya old man --HM (T) 00:49, July 22, 2015 (UTC)

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