User talk:Molbanhan

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This is my talk page.

If you feel the need to talk about me, do so here

edit In case you were wondering

I have been on Uncyclopedia for a while, but not made an account until now. My history is painfully inglorious: I made a few contributions to pro-wrestling pages, exclusively wrote the latest iteration of TNA Wrestling, and saved Wii (console) from the abyss, then proceeded to fuck it up again. I am willing to learn.

edit Hello there, and

edit Welcome!

Hello, Molbanhan, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider contributing to Uncyclopedia's current colonization of the week, a group writing project to improve a single popular article. Anyone is welcome to contribute, so come help out!

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite, requested, and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!

Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own fleshy finger. I'm not a bot. I exist. Now, for some "personal", "non-official" advice:

  • You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Kitten Huffing, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are completely overused and not really funny anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon cliché. Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just please don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny.
  • Another thing we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it.
  • Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the
    pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm, have a good look at HTBFANJS, and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff.
  • Start pages in userspace, first. By that, I mean if you wanted to create a page called "Flappy woo-ha," instead of creating the page Flappy woo-ha, create User:Molbanhan/Flappy woo-ha. That way, you'll have plenty of time to work on it and it won't be deleted or ICU'd. You can start a page in mainspace, just make damn sure what you put there is long enough and funny enough to not get huffed.
  • Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never.
  • There are a lot of links I just put on your page. This is the most important one. HTBFANJS is important, but the mybrute link is better.
  • You can steal templates and welcome people, but don't forget to but the subst: inside the template. Like {{subst:Welcome}}. I used User:Zheliel/welcome. A lot better, it includes these fun linkies.
  • And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually.

edit It's not over!

Hello again Molbanhan, I just have a few basic introductory questions for you. Don't worry, this is just basic protocol.

  1. How old are you? Unknown
  2. Where are you from? Somewhere in Scotland
  3. Have you experienced any traumatic incidents in the last 30 days? I realised that zombies ate my neighbours, but I've gotten over that now.
  4. How much fluid have you consumed so far today? 5 litres
  5. Do you remember what you ate for breakfast on Tuesday? Rice Krispies never get old
  6. Can you pronounce the word "Cliché" for me? Clee - SHAY
  7. What about "Nietzsche"? NEE - chuh

That's about it. Thank you Molbanhan. That should be all. For now.(SOP, and good luck for NOWC!) ZhelielCow.jpg » Zheliel Talk Contribs Cow » 16:06 October 4

edit HoH SiS

I know, you are welcome to pursue anything in your userspace and take as long as you want, but I took a look at this, don't understand anything about it, and it reads vaguely like someone had a bad experience with a company and is setting out to slime it with coded references to its real name. This is not a warning, just a reader review you didn't ask for. Spıke Ѧ 14:37 3-Feb-14

There were external links in that (which I removed on being told to by the automated thing) which would have made clear what this was even about. Molbanhan (talk) 21:38, February 3, 2014 (UTC)

Um, yes, I wrote the said automated thing. No one here cares if you state the name of the company explicitly. However, if the function of the links was to send our readers there, by way of saying, "See for yourselves," we would rather keep our readers here; and if it is so self-evident that the company's website is stupid, calling it out might be advocacy instead of humor. The goal is to write a funny article, regardless of whether the company would like it (though if you associate their logo with feces, they may demand that our webhost remove it, and our webhost will), but funny to people whether or not they have had bad experiences with the company. Carry on! Spıke Ѧ 21:59 3-Feb-14

Not even meaning links to the company's website. In fact, do a bit of research regarding HoH SiS and you'll get what I mean by the entire article

edit Man U

Thanks for bringing this up-to-date! Would you please go back in and make it look more encyclopedic, like the ranty parts and the ALL CAPITALS? Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 00:41 6-Jan-15

edit UnNews:GamerGate still a thing

This UnNews is deleted.

  • The headline does not look like news, and the UnNews is not about news.
  • The way the text calls attention to UnNews itself, and to "this news item," does not look like a real news story either.
  • The only motive for writing this seems to be to use Uncyclopedia to attract attention to the politics of some other website. That is not welcome in any of our projects.

Write to deliver humor to our readers, not to deliver our readers somewhere else. Spıke Ѧ 17:01 18-Jan-15

edit Your signature

Please go into My preferences (meaning your preferences) right away and change your signature so as not to claim to be someone else. Pranks are funny for you. It is better than self-amusement to try to be funny for the other guy. Spıke Ѧ 23:25 18-Apr-15

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